Sirius shifted his feet outside of her door, his hand poised to knock. He was either very brave or very stupid for what he was about to do. He should've listened to James and Remus.
"She won't take you back, mate," James had said, Remus nodding along.
"But I won't know if I don't try," Sirius had argued.
Now he was standing here, second-guessing himself, and wondering if this was worth it. If she was worth it.
Who was he kidding? Of course she was. He regretted what he'd said to her, what he hadn't said to her.
He mustered up his courage and knocked on the door.
Every second he waited was pure torture. Marlene probably wasn't even home. This was stupid, so incredibly stupid —
The door opened.
He was very, very drunk.
He'd thought that that leggy blonde by the bar looked an awful lot like Marlene. She had the same lustrous honey-blonde hair, illuminated in the dim lighting, and she was very pretty. It was an easy mistake to make.
He went up to her, his lips moving, but he wasn't sure what he was saying — something charming, probably — and Marlene giggled and slid her arms around him, her breasts pressing into his chest and sending pleasant jolts down his body. She was so warm and her lip gloss tasted like strawberries.
If he'd been paying closer attention, or if his mind was muddled with liquor, he might've noticed that the girl's dress was copper, not red, and she was too…soft. She molded around his body like clay.
But he was drunk, and therefore, stupid.
Marlene's icy blue eyes pierced him. Once, those eyes had been devoid of ice. Once, they'd melted for him — when he took her for a ride on his motorcycle and she'd been screaming in his ear delightedly. He'd never forget the way she'd looked after they'd dismounted. Hair tangled, eyes bright, breathing ragged, and she'd pulled him in for a searing kiss that he could feel even now.
That felt like a lifetime ago.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. Her voice was calm, but he knew her. He could hear the undercurrent of barely restrained anger. She was pissed as hell, and he deserved it.
He didn't try to skirt around the truth. Marlene would appreciate his honesty more, no matter how much it pained both of them. "I came to apologize."
"Save it." She made a move to close the door, but another voice spoke from inside the flat.
"Marlene, hear him out."
The speaker sounded an awful lot like Lily, and when she came to stand at Marlene's shoulder, Sirius received the confirmation. "Hey, Lily," he said slowly, unsure if she was supporting him.
"Hey." Lily's voice was curt, but not hostile. It indicated to Sirius that she was willing to hear him out — if only she could convince Marlene to do so too.
"Why should I listen to him?" she asked roughly. "He can't make excuses for what he did."
"And I won't," Sirius interjected. "I'm not here to give you some cock-and-bull story. I'm going to tell you what really happened that night."
"Black, I —" The use of his surname disturbed him; at one point, she'd used it as her surname, when they'd been toying with the idea of getting married. Of course, those plans had fallen through, and it stung even more.
Marlene seemed to debate something in her head and it was blatantly clear what. She bit her lip and Sirius recognized the motion for it was seconds before she voiced her thoughts aloud. "Fine. I'll hear you out."
Sirius did not allow his joy to show on his face. He nodded solemnly. "Thank you. May I come in?"
This Marlene did not hesitate for, she wordlessly moved aside and Sirius took that as an invitation. He crossed the threshold and looked around, though he'd practically memorized every square centimeter of her flat. The beige walls, the sofa, the pictures hanging on the wall —
With a small pang of surprise, Sirius noticed the sizeable gap in the center, where his and Marlene's picture had been hanging in a silver frame. She'd taken it down already?
"Well? I don't hear an apology."
Sirius suppressed a gusty, irritated sigh and turned around. Their eyes met but her face was expressionless.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have kissed her. Hell, I shouldn't have approached her. I made a huge mistake."
Now that he'd spoken, Marlene seemed to thaw a little. The left corner of her mouth lifted. "I shouldn't have left you alone and surrounded by gorgeous women," she said and Sirius detected something like humor in her voice. This was going better than he'd hoped. "But my point still stands. You should've been more careful. I know you were drunk but that doesn't excuse your behavior."
"I know." Sirius refrained from arguing. He just really wanted his girlfriend back. If he had to grovel, so be it. Marlene was worth it. "I'll be soberer next time. In fact, I won't ever touch anything alcoholic ever again." He held up his hands and Marlene's mouth edged closer to a smile.
"You don't have to go to that extreme," she said. "You do need a drink every now and then, but not to the point where you almost sleep with someone."
"In my defense," he said quickly, "it was dark, and she looked a lot like you. Blonde hair, similar colored dress, and I thought she was you. That's why I approached her."
"I saw her myself," Lily said, nodding. "She did look a lot like you." Sirius started; he'd forgotten she was in the room. She had retreated to the doorway. "But I'm warning you, you need to be careful. Marlene can be super possessive. If a girl so much as touches you, she'll start breathing fire."
"Hey!" Marlene protested as Sirius chuckled with Lily. "He's pretty! I have to make sure no other girl touches him. I'm sure you have the same problem with James."
Sirius smirked and Lily rolled her eyes. "I have more faith in James," she said dryly. "I know he wouldn't cheat on me — hell, with all those efforts he made to get me to go out him, I doubt he'd lose interest now. If you ask me, Marls, you need to trust your boyfriend more. It was an honest mistake. She looked like you and he thought she was you. That's the only reason why he approached her. He wouldn't have otherwise."
Marlene's indignation had faded, to be replaced by glum agreement. "...You're right," she admitted. "Maybe I did go a tad bit overboard, but only because I'm afraid."
"Why are you afraid?" Sirius asked, frowning and not immediately giving in to the instinct to reach out and comfort her. She hadn't explicitly consented to him touching her.
"I'm afraid that I'm not enough," she confessed flat-out. "You're too good for me, so I can't help but wonder sometimes if you're better suited for someone else. I also remember that you used to be a playboy and that I'm one of your playthings, or you might stray to that side again... "
Lily shot him a pointed look — talk to her — and tactfully backed out of the room. Her footsteps receded and Sirius stepped closer.
"I love you," he said simply. "Since I met you, you've been everything that I needed. You reeled me in after Peter's betrayal and you've been an incredible source of love and strength. I didn't know I was missing you from my life until I met you. You've seen me at my worst, you've seen my crying in the shower, you've seen my breakdowns, and you've been there for me regardless. I don't think anyone could ever replace you, especially after all of that." A ghost of a smile. "I will never let you go unless you want me to. You're too precious to me, so I would fight for you. You know me, I'd never give up without a fight."
A beautiful smile blossomed on her face and she threw her arms around him. "I hate you for saying that, but at the same time, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I'm sorry for not trusting you."
"It's okay," he said, tentatively wrapping his arms around her. "I'm glad we worked through this. I think we needed this."
"Agreed," she murmured into his chest.
"You know, I never told you this, but I felt so alone after Peter's betrayal. Even though I had James and Remus, I had a hole in my heart that remained a hole until you came."
"You're so cheesy," she teased.
"I can be cheesy," he agreed. "You want to know something?"
"What?"
"I don't feel so alone when I'm with you." He grinned. "Was that cheesy?"
"Sirius Black, as far as I'm concerned, you are always cheesy." She tugged him closer. "But I love that about you."
1512 words
Gobstones - White Stone (Honesty); Accuracy - (pairing) SiriusMarlene; Power - (color) copper; Technique - (word) precious
Honeydukes Hoarder - Lollipops & Suckers - 6. Brave
All Aboard - Blue Train - 3. Regret
Founder Says - Helga - 10. "You want to/wanna know something?" / "What?" / "I don't feel so alone when I'm with you."
1000 - 535. (color) Honey
366 - 44. Cheat
