Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


"So, you, uh, you gonna tell us what happened out there?"

Steve looked up from his computer as Danny lounged in a chair across the desk from him. "You were there or, uh, is your short term memory a little fuzzy?" He took a long drink from his coffee mug and watched the oil droplets from the butter swirl on top of the brew. "I'm tellin' you, man. Grass-fed butter in your coffee keeps you sharp."

Danny rolled his eyes, "I'm talking about when you and Catherine were in Montana for a month, you putz. But while we're at it, you can tell me about what happened in China too. Has, uh, has the CIA been on your case about going after Greer?"

"No, they… they haven't, actually." Steve tapped the screen of his phone. No new messages. His lips pursed into a thin line. "I'm a, uh, a little surprised, actually." Any other time they'd had a run in with the CIA, Steve had always been called into the O'ahu field office for a debrief or at least a phone call, but after taking down a woman charged under the Espionage Act, The Company was radio silent.

"You heard from Catherine any?"

"Nah." Steve shook his head, "She's, uh… she's probably busy catching up on whatever she missed comin' out to help us." If he was being honest with himself, he had been hoping she'd call or send him a message. Maybe keep in touch a little more regularly. He hadn't lied to Danny- Catherine probably was busy, but it was the tone she had with him after they had taken out Greer that hung in his memory.

She'd been a little frantic. A little bit scared. That wasn't Catherine. She was always calm under pressure. She thrived on it.

Catherine had risked a hell of a lot to come out to the ranch. Steve knew that, but the guilt was eating away at him. Still, wasn't that what they had always promised each other? To watch each other's six. To be in the other's ear? For the first time in a long time, he had put the dog tags on. Tucked away under his shirt, her name rested on his heart. "Hey, uh, I need to make a call."

Danny took the hint and excused himself from the office. Steve waited until the glass door scraped shut to dial. "Yeah, uh, this is Commander Steve McGarrett calling for Director Haspel…. Yeah, I'll hold."

He tapped a staccato rhythm on his desk as he waited and waited… and waited.

And waited.

He was a patient man by nature, and his time in the SEALs had only added to that, but he was about to lose his mind if he had to listen to the infuriating hold music for another damn minute.

"Haspel."

Steve snatched the receiver off the cradle with a vengeance, "Gina, it's Steve McGarrett."

"This better not be a favor, McGarrett." She laughed, "Being the director of the CIA comes with certain perks. I have people to do those favors for me now."

He chuckled, "Sounds like you're gettin' lazy being at the top."

"We like to call it 'delegating'." Gina snickered, "What can I do for you, Steve? It's been a while since I've heard from you. See you in the news all the time. We keep an eye on you and your task force, you know."

"That's why I'm calling." He clarified, "I figured you'd have eyes on us. So, then you know that I was there when Lieutenant Rollins pulled the trigger on Agent Greer."

Gina was quiet for a moment but he could hear the faint clicking of computer keys, "I was not aware of that." Her voice was a tell-tale sign that something wasn't right. "Steve, can I be frank with you?"

"Please."

"It only recently came to my attention the extent of Agent Greer's actions. I understand that Lieutenant Rollins' joining the agency was done so under duress." She sighed, "It was my hope that the situation could be resolved and that Rollins could be relieved of her duties if she so desired, however, before I was made aware of what happened, she had already been debriefed and put on a new assignment. We can't pull her out until the operation is complete or else we'll risk not only her safety, but the integrity of the assignment."

Steve gritted his teeth and slammed his hand against the desk, "Debriefed or harassed?"

She sighed, "Steve, I know you have clearance, but I can't give you that information."

He knew the subtext in that answer and he hated it. "It was a clean kill, Gina!" He shouted. Through the glass walls of his office, Junior and Danny saw his explosion. "Why the hell wasn't I brought in with her? Huh? Tell me that. Why wasn't I debriefed?"

"McGarrett…" Gina hissed, "Do you realize what I'm dealing with here? This is the most high profile double agent in recent history and I've got the Capitol and the White House breathing down my neck about it. I've watched Lieutenant Rollins' debrief and I'll be straight with you because we go way back- you wouldn't like it. But she covered for you and whoever else was involved. Take the out and if you two see each other again, kiss the fucking ground she walks on. One day, I will make this right, but today is not that day."

It took every ounce of restraint he possessed to not hurl the phone across his office. "Level with me, Haspel. What op is she on? Can I… Can I get her handler's number?"

"You're asking the director of the CIA for current op information? You realize I sit behind a desk in a very big office all day, right? I have the clearance but it's not my job to know details like that. The only reason I took this call was as a professional courtesy and I may or may not have had a hunch that you were involved in taking out Greer."

Steve huffed with righteous indignation, "If anything involving Lieutenant Rollins comes across your desk, you call me. Got it?"

"Since when do I take orders from you?" She countered. "Steve, it's admirable. Really. I, uh, I remember when we were at GITMO together. You talked about her all the damn time. After this debacle with her walking off an assignment to chase Greer around the globe, I took a look at her service record with the Agency. You have nothing to worry about. She can handle it. She can take care of herself."

"You better hope so." He hissed as he slammed the phone back into the cradle. Quickly, he grabbed his cell phone and fired off a text.

Steve: You didn't have to take the blame.

Catherine: I wasn't protecting just you. Stay safe, Sailor. I'll be going dark for a while.

Steve: Copy that. See you on the other side. I got your six.


"Rollins." Coen snapped. "As I was saying, it has come to my attention that Agent Marshall was rather lax regarding agency protocol for personal effects." He extended his hand, silently demanding her personal cell phone.

Catherine laughed, "Over my dead body."

"Rules are meant to keep exactly that from happening."

She narrowed her eyes in at him and slowly rose out of her chair until she was standing toe to toe with him. The last time he had gotten an attitude with her, he earned himself a shiny black eye and damn if he wasn't asking for a repeat performance. "How is it that you didn't get suspended for being involved with Greer? Huh? You were her little lackey. How'd you manage to get off scot free?"

A wicked smile curled up at the corner of his mouth, "I didn't do anything wrong. I just followed orders. Did what I was told. You'd be smart to remember that and fall in line."

Catherine raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. She took a menacing step forward. "Is that a threat, Coen?" She could see him sizing her up. Assessing just how far he could push her until she'd break. But the joke was on him. You couldn't break someone who had already been broken.

"Of course not." He smirked, "We're on the same side, Rollins." Coen leaned down, his breath hot against her ear, "But you'd be foolish to ignore a warning."

"I'm not stupid, Coen. You've had it out for me since Afghanistan. You better watch yourself."

Andrew Coen chuckled, "No one ever accused you of being stupid."


Journal #15
Grozny, Chechnya

I hate Andrew Coen. That man is driving me batshit crazy. I wonder if anyone would notice (or care) if I offed him and tossed his body in the Caspian Sea. I can't wait until he leaves here to get Doris set up on her op in Mexico. Not because I want to put that evil on Doris, but because I have a hunch she'd shoot him just to see if the gun worked.

Steve texted me today. It's been a little over a week (I think) since I left him in Montana. I wanted to talk to him. To see how he was coping with everything.

But I didn't.

I have to push him out of my brain for now. Without Jude, Decker, and Caroline, I can't take any chances. I can't let my guard down or get distracted. For now, I can't allow myself to think about Steve. I can't allow myself to think about February- meeting him on the rocky shoreline at Magic Island. Right now, that's the only thing that's keeping me going.

Being without Jude is hard. Getting pulled off their team wasn't something I saw coming and I didn't have time to prepare for it or even process it. I miss them like crazy. I loved living and working with them. And I just loved them. They were family.

Now it's just me and Coen in hostile territory.


Igor Basayev was a good looking man. Catherine could admit it. He was an eastern European George Clooney. Tall, broad shoulders, silver streaking through his black hair and a wicked smile that would lull his victims into a sense of security before he made them disappear.

That was just how the mob operated.

Typically, the U.S. government stays out of such affairs, but when a mobster suddenly decides to dip his hand into the metaphorical cookie jar of gunrunning, the CIA takes notice. Particularly when that mobster starts brokering arms deals with terrorist groups and hostile governments.

Catherine's track record was flawless. Every assignment she had been put on had been a success. Then again, she'd always had a team behind her that was hell-bent on protecting each other and working together for the greater good.

Now, it was just her, her gun, and unfortunately, Coen.

Catherine peered out the window of the coffee shop as she sipped her latte. Basayev was meeting an associate at the restaurant across the street, and the cafe she had dipped into not only gave her a view of him entering the restaurant, but a much needed escape from the cold. Coen had scoffed at her idea, but unfortunately for him, Catherine had a nasty habit of not giving a fuck what he thought.

He had wanted her to go into the restaurant and eavesdrop on the conversation, but as Catherine had so aptly told him, she didn't speak Russian like Basayev or Czech like his associate, Gustav Bastyr. Instead, Catherine had decided to play the part of the clumsy flirt and had planted a listening device in Basayev's coat when she just so happened to stumble into him on the street. Now, she sat a safe distance away from the restaurant, blocked out the ambient whirring of the espresso machine with her headphones, and worked on quickly translating the conversation using the software Jude had installed on her laptop.

Even when he wasn't around, he had been looking out for her.

A new email popped up on the encrypted server and piqued her curiosity just enough for her to take a momentary break from her target's conversation.

To: Princess

From: The Three Musketeers

Miss you already. Also, Charming's been throwing a hissy fit about you taking the blame. There's a new betting pool on when you're going to lose it and kill The Weasel. Tell us when the deed is done and we'll cut you in on the payout.

Stay safe out there.

-J,C,D

Catherine let a quiet laugh escape her mouth as she pressed her fingers at the corners of her eyes to dab at the tears. What the hell had she done to deserve those three?


"How did I not know that you were the one who shot Coen?" Caroline exclaimed. "I mean, I heard that something went down in Spain but Deck and I were off the grid at the time and when we finally got off that assignment, everyone was hush hush about what happened out there."

Catherine laughed and pointed at Steve, "Actually, that was him. I was a little, um… tied up."

Decker and Caroline had come over to the McGarrett house to spend a little quality time with Jude and Catherine before they headed back to D.C. to get briefed on their next assignment. Catherine sat curled up on Steve's lap in the arm chair while Decker, Jude, and Caroline squeezed onto the couch. Even though he was more toddler than infant, Caroline was getting in her baby snuggles with Will while Shelby Jo sought equal and undivided attention and affection from Decker and Jude.

"And by tied up you should know she was actually tied up." Steve clarified as he looked down at Catherine and smiled, "You, uh, you weren't much help when it came to exfil. I had to lug you all the way back to the chopper while Junior laid down cover fire for me." His finger ghosted over the gnarled scar that twisted and curved up her thigh.

Catherine leaned back and rested her head in the crook of his neck. His gentle touches put her at ease. "Sorry, next time I'll try to stay conscious after I get stabbed."

"S-Stabbe-d." Shelby mimicked.

Catherine immediately covered her face with her hand, "Great. Now when she starts daycare the other kids will know their animal names and she'll be saying words like stabbed and gunshot wound." She groaned.

Jude smirked, "And the problem with that is?"

Caroline laughed, "That's what you get when all your kids' aunties and uncles are spies, SEALs, and cops."

Decker grinned as he popped Shelby up onto his knee, "Your kids are gonna grow up to be badasses."

"B-bad-" Shelby stammered.

"No!" Catherine and Steve shouted simultaneously, sharing the same panicked expression. Everyone in the room froze.

"Bananas." Steve interjected with a calm intensity, "If she starts saying... it, just say bananas."

Stifled laughter echoed around the living room. Parenthood was an insane assignment that had them both on their toes constantly.

Catherine turned her attention to Jude. She wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity to rag on him while Caroline and Decker were present, "So, Jude. You and Noelani seem to be rather friendly with each other last night at the bar."

Jude gave a bashful shrug, "What can I say? We're friendly people."

Steve chuckled, "Careful, Beckett. She's an M.E.- you hurt her and she'll know just how to kill you so that no one will, uh, will ever suspect a thing. "

He turned a dashing shade of pink, "We're just friends is all."

Steve and Catherine burst into a fit of laughter. Once upon a time, they had been just friends. She buried her head into his chest and giggled uncontrollably as he wiped tears from his eyes, "Take it from me, man." Steve chuckled, "Just accept the inevitable and go after what you want." Catherine sat up and readjusted, snuggling in closer, reveling in the public display of their affections. Steve looked down at her with adoring eyes, "You gotta choose to try. If you really wanna be with someone, the rest is just the, uh, just the details."

Maybe that was the thing, Catherine thought. All their thoughts about the future and forever were based on this idea that they had to wait until it was perfect. Until they were perfect. Until they were sure. The thing was, the perfect time was never going to come. Whether they had tied the knot before Afghanistan or after; or maybe when she came to Montana after Joe died. It was never going to be perfect, and that's the point. You're never going to be sure about taking a leap of faith. The circumstances will never be perfect.

They had overcomplicated everything in their early days. It really just was choosing someone, over and over again. Every day.

Catherine closed her eyes and inhaled the familiar musk of cedar and gunpowder. Felt his strong arms around her, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Steve placed a soft kiss to her temple, right in front of all of their friends. So much had changed, but the way they felt about each other? That love? That had never changed.

Marriage is about love. And love isn't about what's convenient or perfect. Sometimes it's really fucking inconvenient- not to mention insane, crazy, and unexpected. But choosing all that insanity over a loveless marriage that's convenient? She'd go all in on the insanity every damn time.

What Steve had said hit her like a ton of bricks.

You have to choose to try. If you really want to be with someone, the rest is just details.


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Have a wonderful weekend, you fantastic people! Leave your thoughts and comments in the reviews! I love hearing from all of you!

XO,

-Mags-


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