A/N: Cathyscloud9- thank you for the feedback & review. I really do try to pour a lot into their reactions- to keep it real & raw without disregarding important personality traits. Anyways- I've waffled enough and I won't keep you from the next chapter- happy reading lovelies x

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto. This story is purely a work of fanfiction.

Nina- is my original character (I do own her)


Chapter 108


Jiraiya picked up her chakra signature below and his paused for a moment, half roosted with one foot on the sill. He couldn't get a clear view from this position, however there was an easy solution. Well, more of an inkling threaded with hope.

It worked. A few steps more and Nina stopped before her body contorted around and her eyes set on his. It'd only been but for a moment before she mingled amongst the crowds.

The Toad-Sage exhaled heavily. A few short weeks ago she'd been a beacon of light; a sunflower, his sunflower. As spirited and free flowing as the yellow skirt she'd been wearing.

Today, she was but a wilted… no. A husk, of her former self. There was no fiery outburst physically or verbally. Though it was commendable for holding herself the way she had; even Tsunade hadn't been that put together. By all appearances you would never be able to tell what she'd just endured but her eyes; yes, her now disingenuous eyes. There was only one other person with those eyes.

His geta clopped onto the floor of the Hokage's office, where Tsunade was relaying the required information to Kakashi. Jiraiya leant against the wall between the two windows and crossed his arms observing the silver-haired shinobi. His eyes.

Two broken souls who shared the same eyes. Ones of looming sadness that were hidden behind their unrivalled stoicism. Between them the pair shared some of the most tragic and traumatic pasts.

Hmpf. Perhaps, he'd misjudged their romantic potential?

Jiraiya could see he was just a shell too. Sure his body was physically here, but his mind was very much elsewhere; as was his heart.


"What's the plan, Tsunade?"

Truth be told, she didn't have one. Her actions had been purely out of duty and they felt like a betrayal to her heart. All she could do was hope. And the only chance of that laid with the three people in this very room.

She sat down in her chair, her head leaning on one of her hands and the other drummed her nails on her desk.

"At this point, Jiraiya, I … I haven't a clue. I'm all ears. If you have a suggestion, let's hear it."


Kakashi's mind was reeling. It was taking an enormous amount of effort on his part to remain focussed on what was being said.

There was no avoiding Nina being pulled in front of the powers to answer for her infractions. He felt a little guilty for holding anything to it, but he felt relief. Nina's punishment may result in her being pulled from Anbu forever more and that sat just fine with Kakashi. She'd served her time and then some. Unquestionably, there would be another that could fill that position. Reducing her workload only stood to benefit her in the long run. It was irrevocably clear her expertise had resulted in her being spread too thin. The woman in front of him had orchestrated a mission around Nina's depleted state. And well, hadn't that backfired.

Hah. He exhaled. What a mess.

"Something to add Hatake?"

"Uh, no."

Shit. He'd forgotten to keep tabs on the conversation. What had he missed?

Kakashi took a moment to attempt picking up the chatter between the two legendary Sannin. Of course. Nina had an incredibly intimate relationship with Master Jiraiya. For all purposes, he was more of a father than the Professor. But would that be enough?

His mind rewound to a particularly dormant part of his past. He hated to admit it but this whole ordeal resonated vehemently with his own self.

Dammit. It wasn't supposed to be this way.


"With all due respect, Jiraiya…"

"You're right."

He pushed off the wall, at an almost dawdle, until he came to Tsunade's side and rested his hand over her shoulder.

"Nina's shutdown. She's reverted to the only thing she knows. We can't reach her." Using his free hand to brace his weight he lent into Tsunade. Once he had her attention he stood back up, keeping his hand on her shoulder but using the other to run his index finger over his chin.

Jiriaiya hadn't foreseen this when he'd given consideration to their bonds. But then again…

Knowing what it feels like to be in pain, is exactly why we try to be kind to others.

"But you might." He pointed his fingers in a gun like pose.

"Huh?"


Kakashi had lost track of the conversation again. Dammit.

"Reach Nina."

He doubted that. Nina's ability to shield herself matched his own and in light of recent events he knew with certainty that she'd have already erected several more safeguards.

"No… I don't-"


"I'll tell you what?" For the first time Jiraiya noted that Kakashi was actually entirely present. "I'll come clean. With concerns to your mission to Amegakure, I had my toads survey you and Nina."

He walked around the desk and sat on the edge, mindful not to block Tsunade's view.

"So, let's cut to the chase, shall we?"

Folding his hands over his chest he bowed his head.

"It's time to remove the rose-coloured glasses. No one put weight in anything serious eventuating between you two. But something did and has. There's no denying that. Or will you?"

Lifting his head he made sure he gave his sternest expression to make it clear just how serious he was.


They'd been under surveillance even before the festival? To be expected his supposed considering these pair.

As for rose-coloured glasses, he supposed that was a fair observation too. They'd been playing this back and forth game of cat and mouse for a while now. Be that as it may, it was inescapable now. He'd seen it in her eyes, not last night but the one before. Fear.

It was what they both had been stumbling over themselves and each other over.

When he first suggested it; it had seemed logical; easy even. They would let whatever happen on the mission and once the mission finished that would report omitting anything necessary and simply go back to how they'd always been. Shit. Yeah like that had worked out. How naïve.

He hung his head and breathed out. Not in defeat, but acceptance. There was no use lying. If they were to stand any chance at saving Nina from that life; the one he'd narrowly escaped himself with an indebted thanks to his comrades…

"No." Kakashi was now looking directly at Jiraiya and Tsunade. "I don't deny it but, it's not exactly …"


Jiraiya burst into a fit of laughter. Ah young love.

"Kakashi Hatake, and they call you a genius?"

"Jiraiya, this is hardly appropriate behaviour."

Clearing his throat to regain his composure. "Ahem, yes, of course. Apologies."

He definitely needed to work on his writing skills if his avid fan realised so little. It took time. Case and point the two people that stood before him. They were still trying to work it out.

"Life is for the living, Kakashi. I can't think of anyone better to remind Nina of that very fact."


"I understand."

He didn't, not at all. Did they know who they were talking about? Getting Nina Sarutobi to open up was an impossible task.


Silent as a saint, but it was written all over his face.

Jiraiya had honed this specific skill of observation, exceptionally well on his countless research ventures. Fear could be healthy. And by all the Kages was Nina afraid. She'd not only added a 6th victim to her list of deaths she'd been unable to prevent in a short amount of time, she'd just been stripped of anything she could have buried herself into, and lastly and most importantly she'd lost her own flesh and blood.

And so was he.

Kakashi of the Sharingan, the copy-nin, the master of more than a thousand jutsu, the friend-killer, was in love with Nina.

Fear was both healthy and destructive.

"When people get hurt, they learn to hate... when people hurt others, they become hated and racked with guilt. But knowing that pain allows people to be kind. Pain allows people to grow... and how you grow is up to you."

Kakashi's inhalation was audible as was Tsunade's hum of approval.


It took a few minutes to process. He wasn't convinced it was possible, but by his will of fire he was going to try.

Heh. Master Jiraiya really did have a way with words.

Those words reminded him of a conversation he'd had with their student, Naruto Uzumaki following their first major mission in the land of waves. They'd met, fought and in the end killed Zabuza and Haku. It'd been a pivotal point in the shaping of Team 7. Naruto, specifically had been affected the most. Actually, if he thought about it and he had- that mission had stood to not only to influence, but completely affirm Naruto of his nindo- his Ninja Way.

What was it that he had said that young boy had told him? Ah that's right:

"When people are protecting something truly precious to them, they truly can become as strong as they can be."

"Thank you."

He gave the two his crinkled-eyed smile and vanished in a flitter of leaves.


"Do you think he can really bring her back, Jiraiya?"

"What, feeling a tickle in your empty purse?"