Taking a bit of a diversion and talking about Astrid, while still staying in the movie ;)


Entry 66

Alright, so I didn't learn anything about Night Furies. But something much more important happened anyway, so I'm just going to write about that…

I thought my feelings for Astrid had waned… I was… wrong.

It's been months, it feels like, since the last time I even thought about her. But ever since the raid where I shot the Night Fury down, I've noticed she's been on my mind again. Something about Dragon Training has sparked my infatuation once more, and today, it got worse.

The Nadder fight went about as good as expected (ergo, not good). I tried to get some information out of Gobber about Night Furies, but he just kept pushing me back into the fight. It got to the point that the Nadder broke through the maze walls we'd slaved over setting up, and was really closing in. Astrid, who seemed to be the main target of the dragon's aggression, leapt from the crumbling walls… right onto me. The force of her fall knocked me over, and her axe got stuck in my shield, barely missing my arm.

And, like the bumbling idiot I am, I couldn't seem to do anything to fix the situation. I just kept stuttering something about helping, while she tried to yank her weapon free. Finally she got it, and hit the dragon with both blade and shield, causing it to back off. And then, for the first time in weeks… she said something to me. I just wish it wasn't this:

"Is this some kind of a joke to you? Our parents' war is about to become ours. Figure out which side you're on…" Then, she stormed out of the Ring, and Gobber called for the end of class.

Now I'm torn. I really, really want to be on Astrid's side. The strong side, the winning side, the VIKING side. I want to be able to go up to her, and with no trace of doubt, say I'm on her side. I want her to… I want her to LIKE me. Even if it's just in the most basic way. I don't want to feel so hated, so unwanted…

But I know I can't. I can't say I'm on her side. Because every time I try to convince myself that's true, I just think about the Night Fury. About how it spared me. About how it's injured, and about how I've been watching it every day. And I just can't bring myself to support a cause that would end the lives of creatures like it. At least not until I know more about them.

If they truly are monsters, and what I've seen with the Night Fury is just a fluke, then I might be able to pick a side. But somehow… I just don't feel like that's the truth.

Something I saw with the Nadder today intrigued me. How it only ever really went after the people being most aggressive toward it. Almost as though it was just… defending itself.

No, I can't pick a side just yet.

But I already know that Astrid is definitely not on mine.

Until next time…

-H


Thursday: Gravity Falls Christmas special!