Chapter 66.

Cas watched Mary stirring her coffee. He hoped he could help her. They had not always had the closest relationship and he knew that she felt as bad about that as he did. It was just weird for her, finding out that angels existed by meeting the one that was her son's closest friend and it was weird for him, having to interact with the mother Dean had spent his life missing and then had found again. Each always worried that one bad conversation would make Dean love them less, for failing to love someone who mattered to him.

Cas did love her, though. Talking to her might be stressful, but she was a good, caring person and most importantly, she loved her sons and now treated him like part of the family.

She looked up and smiled. "Castiel, I want to thank you for agreeing to meet like this. I know you have a lot of other stuff on your mind."

"Yes, I do, but not much I can do anything about. I know this has to be harder for you than for any of us and the truth is, I can't do a thing to bring Dean home until we can find him, but maybe I can help the person he loves most. That's something."

"I'm trying not to add to Sam's burden. I know he'd listen, but I'm not sure how much more he can take. He's everyone's rock and he must feel like he has nobody to support him. I don't mean that you don't." she added hurriedly.

"I know. I worry about him too. Sam is strong. I mean, like a mountain, but this is the one area where he's vulnerable. With Dean beside him, he doesn't bend or break. The Winchesters together are undefeatable, but remove one ... But still, Sam is strong. Strong enough to care about me yesterday."

"Yes, he was worried about you."

"I can't be like that. The past few days, I've been too busy drowning in my own feelings to think about anybody else."

"That would be more convincing if you weren't here, voluntarily, to help me with mine." said Mary.

He sipped his coffee, thinking about that. He felt she was being overly kind. "I may be just trying to distract myself." he said, "I can be very selfish. And in my present state of mind ... "

"Your present state of mind is because your best friend is lost and in danger. It's not selfish to love someone so much that losing them tears your life apart."

"This must be so much harder for you than for me." said Cas.

"I don't know, but it's hard." she said, "I miss him. It took us a long time to get our relationship back and I loved being a part of his life and making up for all those years I couldn't be there for him and now he's lost and alone and fighting for his life. I would give anything for one chance to bring him home."

Cas nodded. "I feel the same way." He thought of their mental link, of how good it had felt to share their thoughts, to understand each other on a whole new level. He thought of Dean's strong, fierce, empassioned spirit reluctantly in thrall to the cold, heartless nature of Michael. Once, Cas had admired the archangels. Now, he hated them. They were not fit to even think of exerting power over humans like Dean and Sam.

The idea that entered his head was a stupid one. It could not work. The power of an archangel was absolute and if Dean were not either under complete control or actually dead, he would have made contact somehow already, but the idea was there anyway and he was sitting opposite Dean's mother and for her sake and for Dean's he had to try.

"There is something that may work." he said, "But I'll be honest, the odds are against us."

"When are they not?" she said.

"We should probably run it by Sam first, but I don't want to give him false hope."

"Run it by me." she said, "We can tell Sam if it works."

"Archangels can hear prayers directed to them."

"Of course, but Sam said nobody was to try to contact Michael."

"Dean effectively has the grace of an archangel. If he's awake and aware and I direct a prayer to him, he may hear it."

"Without Michael hearing it?"

"I don't know. That's why it has to be me that tries. Michael is likely to try to obliterate me at some point anyway, so it's not like I'm throwing anything away that wasn't already at risk."

"And you and Dean already had a psychic connection."

"Yes, which could work for or against us now. It may make Dean more able to hear me and possibly respond, or it may be that Michael, having found and blocked the link, will be watching for any attempt to revive it. I think I have to try, anyway."

"Yes." said Mary, "Do you need a special place or any preparation?"

"No. If I'm quiet and discreet, I can do it here." He bowed his head over his coffee and pretended to talk to Mary as he said, "Dean, I don't know if this will work. I've never before to contact a vessel via the grace of the angel, but if there is one vessel independent enough to be able to retain some awareness and control, it's you. We miss you. We need you back. We're all waiting for you to come home, all trying to think of a way to bring you home. A location would help, even a direction, but above all, we need a sign, Dean. We need to know you're alive." He paused, hoping for some feeling of having been heard or, miraculously, some reply in his mind.

"Anything?" whispered Mary.

"Nothing." he said, "I'm sorry. It was always a long shot. He may still have heard, or he may be aware that there was an attempt to communicate. Either will have given him hope."

"Thanks for trying. I know it was dangerous."

"I've found trying to live without him far more dangerous. As long as there is something left to try, some chance he's out there, I don't have to give up on him."

"You and I have a lot more in common than I thought." she said.

"I hope he heard something. I hope he knows we're fighting for him."

She smiled at him. "Whether he heard or not, Cas, he knows you won't give up. Dean doesn't have faith in much, but he believes in you."