Raising a newborn, even for only a month, was no easy feat.
During that month we spent gathering our forces in Rudol, preparing to head south and sail to Warreth in the spring, we did our best with the infant Severa. As I said, though, it wasn't easy; she cried a lot. By Naga did she cry. When Cordelia wasn't breastfeeding her, all of her energy must've gone to those lungs of hers. I was right when she was first born: she'd be a handful. Still, holding her in my arms, cleaning her messes, was strangely fulfilling. I could see the same thing in Cordelia, whenever she held Severa as well. I knew for a fact I wouldn't tolerate any of the crap she was giving us for anyone else's newborn.
That didn't mean I could just shirk off my duties, of course, and a few weeks after Severa's birth, Cordelia couldn't either. She had an entire training regimen planned, all done by herself, to get herself back into shape. It was actually pretty in-depth, and I knew I'd be helping with it a lot. But that would be later, while we were on our way to the south to prepare for the spring. The road ahead would no doubt be arduous, and we had to come up with something for our baby. A trip across the ocean would be hard on an infant, I knew, but it was a journey she would have to make eventually. But then, I didn't want her to be with us when we assaulted Ylisse. Not with all the flames and steel and blood around us. That was no place for our child. I knew Cordelia agreed. We just needed to find a way to keep her safe until we could send for her.
We had a while to figure that out, though. The earliest we could've likely embarked was around the beginning of April, and it was just the middle of February then. We had time.
"Dozin' off over there, Old Iron Hand?" A boisterous voice called from across the tent, followed by a guffaw. "Look at him! That little brat's probably been keepin' him up all night! Har!"
I rubbed at my eyes with my good hand, muttering something even I couldn't understand under my breath. After a moment, and a good yawn, I replied, "Yeah, li'l Sev's in our tent twenty-four seven. Gotta keep an eye on her, change the swaddling cloth, clean her messes, shit like that. Doesn't leave a lotta room for sleep, you know?"
Basilio smiled down at me, his pearly whites on full display. He leaned back in his seat as we waited for everyone else. "What're you doin', gettin' a girl pregnant in the middle of a war? Can't be that it was planned; I'd call ya mad if that were true."
I yawned again, watching Basilio uninterestingly. "It wasn't planned, no. But I'm not gonna call it a mistake. I know I'm tired right now, but that doesn't mean I ain't happy. What about you, Mr. Khan? Ever experience holding your newborn daughter in your arms?"
"Har! Can't say I have," Basilio barked a laugh. "Ain't like I got much time to do the hanky-panky, either way; Khan duties and all that. Ya understand?"
"Oh, bullshit," I called out, leaning forward with a light glare. "Don't sell me the crap. I bet you've had all kinds of wild adventures. Especially with the fairer sex. Don't fuckin' lie to me, old man."
"Old man? Ya got a death wish, don't you?" Basilio met my gaze with a stony expression, "Those're fighting words, Iron Hand."
"Oh yeah? Maybe I'm looking for one. I've been through two of the bloodiest wars in recent memory, about to go through a third; I'm not afraid of one man," I growled, placing my iron hand on the table. "You wanna go, big man? We can settle this outside."
We stared at each other from across the table, two pairs of eyes unceasingly glaring into each other. Neither of us gave in, and the friendly conversation quickly turned into the fiercest staring contest in all of Valm.
After a while, though, laughter bubbled up from my chest. "Goddamn, man! I'll never win one of these things."
"You're alright, Old Iron Hand. You're alright," Basilio grunted, crossing his arms as a smug smirk trailed across his face. "But you ain't the best. You think I got this eye-patch because it enhanced my good looks?"
"You have good looks?" I asked sincerely.
"Har! Good one! Even a married dastard like you can barely resist!" Basilio guffawed. "Naga's arse, where're they? Been waiting here for hours, feels like. Flavia, you're growing soft!"
"Am I now? Please, do go on!" A gruff, feminine voice egged on, entering the tent. "I was just working my muscles, oaf. Preparing for the day some young punk tries to take my throne from me. Although I'm sure I could use them against you if you annoy me too much!"
"Naga, are we about to have an entire entourage come through those flaps?" I asked to the ceiling, "I can see it now. First, it'll be Chrom. Then Say'ri. Then, finally, Robin. Let's see-!"
I didn't even get to finish my sentence before Say'ri walked into the tent, her very being exuding a dignity none of us within before her possessed. It instantly evaporated when she was among us, though.
"…Fie, am I interrupting something?" She asked, looking over to me briefly. "Sir Alexander, why are you tapping your hand against the table."
"Wherever we go, there's gotta be a table and some chairs. Even if it isn't in a tent," I started, my iron finger tapping against the old wood. "Everywhere we go. Does no one else find that weird?"
Say'ri opened her mouth to say something before promptly shutting it.
"She can't say anything. I must really be fuckin' falling apart if I'm just spouting nonsense like this," I bemoaned. "But, dear Lord, I wouldn't pass this up for the world."
"Seems lively in here. Mind if we join in?" Chrom said as he entered, Robin at his side.
"Would it surprise you if I said I've been talking shit to Khan Basilio here for the past hour? The fuck were you guys?" I grumbled, trying to keep my head from slamming into the table, "Having a secret meeting of your own, were you?"
"I was attempting to halt a conflict before it could begin," Say'ri explained, sitting down, "Since the Conqueror's demise, Yen'fay's presence has been agitating many of my number. It is disturbing that my own troops should succumb to infighting when we have such a heft debt to pay. Fie, but we will pay it. On Mila and Naga's honor, we will pay it."
Flavia raised a brow. "Have I told you how welcome you'd be in Ferox? Maybe when this Fell dastard is done and dusted, you could come and work in the arena for a while. Ya know, flex those muscles of yours."
"Ah, you have made such an offer before, yes," Say'ri tapped her temple. "But I have a country to keep, mind. I will not leave it to partake in dalliances. Even one with such a distinguished warrior as yourself, Khan Flavia."
The Khan sniffed. "Heh. Have it your way. Offer still stands whenever you decide to take it, my friend."
"If you must know, Alex, we were discussing something rather important before coming here," Robin said. "I apologize for our late arrival, regardless. Although if you're really as tired as it looks, maybe you shouldn't be here."
I waved my iron hand. "Nah, don't worry about me. Just being a little shit. I'll reign it in."
"See that you do, old friend. This is serious business," He replied, before sitting down along with Chrom. "As you all know, Ylisse has fallen. Ylisstol has been conquered by the Fell Dragon, and Grawin has apparently been completely destroyed."
"Fie…" Say'ri sighed, "Would be that it was our own troubles that swayed your attention across the long sea. I sincerely apologize, to all of you."
"Walhart was a threat to all of us, Say'ri, even without the Fell Dragon," Chrom replied, letting out a deep breath, "And there was no guarantee, even with our army at full strength, that we would be able to withstand Grima's assault. If he so easily conquered our capital…"
Robin placed a hand against the table. "Either way, that is the reality of our situation. Of course, it's possible that he was lying, but it's better to operate under the assumption that what Deadlord Fauder and Verrat said was true. In that case, I have a plan."
"You told me," I said, looking to him, "You said we'd be marching up through Warreth and towards Ylisstol, right? Or something like that, at least."
Robin nodded. "Yes. The Deadlords mentioned that the other cities were still holding out against Grima's onslaught. If so, I believe our best chance would be to sail along the southern sea and break Warreth's siege, travel up north towards Ylisstol, and break Grima's hold over the continent. I realize that no plan survives contact with the enemy, but I believe that this is our best chance."
"Sounds like a suicide mission," Basilio grunted, smirking. "Well, count me in. I like this plan."
"The oaf and I are of the same mind, this time," Flavia concurred, "I wanna torch this lizard dastard as soon as we can. We still have no idea what's happening in Ferox."
"I have followed you thus far, noble tactician," Say'ri spoke next, "And I will continue to do so. Chon'sin stands with Ylisse."
"You haven't led us astray so far, Robin. I trust you," Chrom smiled at the tactician, putting a hand on his shoulder. "And trust me when I say that anything can change, even our fates."
"Look at everyone, being so goddamn inspirational." I grumbled before shaking my head, "You already know I'll follow you into hell itself, Robin. Come spring, we're gonna go home and put this lizard to the sword."
Robin looked around wildly as if he could comprehend what he was hearing. He rubbed at his forehead and shielded his eyes for a moment, "Listen to you all, looking death in the face and not so much as flinching. It's inspiring!" He looked up, red eyes resolute. "We have months to prepare and travel south. Our docked ships at Saber's Rest should follow us, carefully. And when spring arrives, we will bring the Fell Dragon to his knees!"
A resounding cheer from all those present, including me, rang out.
The sound of wood crashing against wood rang in my ears as I blocked another blow from Cordelia. I was caught on the defense, constantly trying to keep myself from being struck by my wife's lance. Backing off slightly, I kept another swing from striking me across the side with my wooden sword and forced her back. She didn't stumble like so many others would have, though. She was much too good for that. Even months out of practice, and she was still deadly.
We circled each other, waiting for the other to strike again. In an instant, she surged forward, lance aimed directly at my gut. I plunged my shield downward and it bounced harmlessly off the ground as I went for the kill, only for Cordelia's wooden buckler to shove it to the side. She pulled her lance back and shoved the lance just to the side of my chest.
"Hah!" She panted, smirking. "Got you!"
I looked down at the lance, feeling warmth bloom in my chest. Seeing her smile like that, out and about again, was a greater outcome than winning for me. As long as she was happy, I was happy.
We'd been training with each other for a good month by that point. While the bulk of our army was moving south, gathering stationed troops and sailing our boats to a port city just at the edge of the continent, we prepared ourselves physically. That meant the usual sparring and maintenance. Even then, though, Cordelia jumped right back into it like it was second nature.
It wasn't until we got into the ring together the first time that I remembered just how badass she was. She was rusty, obviously; her attacks were slower than I remembered, a bit more cumbersome, but even then she was still keeping me on my toes with attacks I could barely block in time. I was stronger than her, but even when she hadn't seen combat or serious training in half a year, she was still faster and more skilled than me.
I backed off, rubbing my stomach. "Seven months off the battlefield and you can still rough me up like nobody else."
"Why, do I hear a bit of soreness in your tone, love?" Cordelia chided playfully, smirking at me. "Perhaps if you paid attention to my lance instead of me, you wouldn't have a dozen bruises all over your body."
I barked a laugh, tossing my wooden sword and shield to the ground. "Swear to God, you're playing around right now but I'm serious; you're tearing me apart. If this is you when you're rusty, well, I don't think there's anything on heaven or earth that can take you down. Well, either that or Severa crying is really starting to slow me down."
"Mmm. I'm still cumbersome," Cordelia replied, looking down at her lance. "Slow, even. But I suppose that will come back with time. Hmm," Cordelia struck a pose, placing her lance behind her back while holding onto it with two hands. "Heh. I can still do that, at least."
"Showing off, are you?" I snorted.
"Only for you, love. Only for you," Cordelia replied, placing the butt of her lance on the ground. "Now, how about one more round? I'll be sure to give it all I've got."
I chuckled, picking up my sword and shield again. "Yeah, and if you do that, I'll find my ass on the floor in a second. But, fuck it, let's go!"
True to my own words, I found my ass on the floor naught but a few minutes after our final round began. Cordelia's lance swung against my heels, and the world itself shifted until my back slammed against the ground. It was nostalgic, in a way. I remembered the events that led to us finally confessing to each other. Those days felt so far away, then. Like a distant memory. They were sweet, though. Warm. I had a mind to try it again.
Cordelia's wooden lance pointed at my throat before she planted it into the ground again. "And you're dead. Again. Hmm, perhaps you were right."
I laid the back of my head against the cool ground as a chilly gale blew across our little area. "Damn. Emasculated again. You really know where to hurt me, sweetheart."
"Oh, please, you're fine!" Cordelia chastised, placing her hands on her hips. "I did not hit you that hard. Unless… Gods, I didn't hit you that hard, did I?"
"You did," I answered, closing my eyes. "Now I'm dead. You just murdered your husband. Isn't it a tragedy?"
"It'll be a tragedy if you continue to play around," Cordelia lightly growled, prodding me with her lance. "Get up. Please. Or would you rather bugs climb into your armor?"
"Let them!" I replied dramatically, placing my iron hand against my breastplate. "How crude! The murdered man's wife treats his body with such disrespect! Truly a tale fit for old housewives!"
"Alex, please. Stop," Cordelia asked, seriously.
I sighed. "Alright, spoil the fun, I guess. I do need some help getting up, though. This armor is heavier than I thought."
Cordelia sighed. "You've been in plate armor for almost as long as I have known you; how are you-? Oh, fine, if we're going to play that game…" Cordelia reached out to me. "Grab my hand."
I tried to keep my smirk down as I did as I was told, hoisting myself up. At the final moment, however, I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around her midsection and pulled her close to me.
"What're you- mmph!" Cordelia's sentence was cut off as I pressed my lips against hers, tenderly. Her hands rose up as if to push me off before I felt them tracing across my back. After a few moments, we parted.
I still stayed close as Cordelia's half-lidded gaze looked into my own, our breath mingling. Once all was said and done, however, I said only one word.
"Dead."
Cordelia blinked, tilting her head. "Uh, what?"
"You're dead," I elaborated, looking down. "See?"
Cordelia followed my gaze until she saw the wooden sword against her side. She stared back up to me, her expression unamused. "That was a dirty trick."
"Maybe. Reminds you of that day, though, right?" I smiled.
She returned that smile. "Of course. How could I forget?" Her hand felt down my side, "It was one of the happiest days of my life."
"I love you, Cordelia," I said, pressing my forehead against hers, "You and our family."
"I love you, too, Alex," Cordelia replied, her other hand tracing my jawline, "More than I ever thought possible."
We kissed again, holding each other.
We called it a day there and put our wooden weapons away. Deciding to spend a little more time together before we were called elsewhere, I elected to sit down on the nearest long available that wasn't covered in snow or ice. Eventually finding one, I sat down with little fanfare, feeling the small bruises that covered my body. Cordelia sat down right beside me, testing the movement of her shoulders.
"How does it feel?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head. "I wasn't messing around when I said you were gonna knock my ass to the floor. Damn near seven months and you're still this good at fighting."
"I do feel better, certainly," Cordelia replied, rubbing her forearm, "And it feels good to be able to move around again. Gods, those last few months nearly drove me mad; I could barely walk wherever I wanted to without becoming exhausted. I'm just glad it's over."
I let out a small chuckle. "Couldn't have been all bad."
"You weren't the one with the giant stomach, love."
Rubbing the back of my neck again, I smiled sheepishly. "Well, when you put it that way…"
Cordelia regarded me smugly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I believe that's three wins for me so far. You have to bridge this gap, Alex."
"Oh, so we're counting verbal battles now? In that case, that wasn't even a battle. Didn't even raise a white flag or anything like that." I stared at her, "You just wanna pad out your winning streak, don't you?"
"Perish the thought, love!"
"Please, we've been engaged for over a year now; I can see when you're trying to be all smug." I looked away, "'Course, that doesn't change the fact that I'm still absolutely crazy about you. Don't know how the hell that's continued for so long."
"Are you saying you wouldn't want to be? I'm hurt," Cordelia said, faux-hurt entering her tone.
I small smile drew across my face. "Never in a million years."
Cordelia scooted closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder. "That was the right answer."
We stayed like that for a little while, just basking in the sunlight and in each other's presence. We wouldn't have peaceful moments like that for much longer, so it was imperative that we made them memorable and made them last. After that, though, she brought up something that I knew we needed to talk about, but had been putting off.
"…What are we going to do about Severa?" She asked, "The newborn one, I mean."
I sighed, bringing a hand up to my forehead. I knew we'd have to talk about it eventually. We kept putting it off, always assuming we'd have more time to dish out the details later. Later was now, then. If there was one thing I knew, it was that putting things off only made them worse. They never went away unless you grit your teeth and faced them head-on.
"We can't bring her across the sea, Cordy," I supplied, sighing, "I don't want her near a battlefield. Not on the ocean, not on land. I don't even want to think what would happen if she gets," I trailed off, feeling a dark pit growing in my stomach. "No. We can't bring her. She needs to stay here until we can get her. When Grima is finally gone."
Cordelia hummed. "I agree with you, love, but who are we going to leave her with? We can't just leave her here alone."
"No, of course not," I replied. "I think I'll need to talk to Robin about that, see what our plan is and… well, I really hope there's an easy solution to this." I looked to Cordelia, "We really did screw this up, huh? I mean, I don't regret having her, and I hope you don't either."
Cordelia shook her head. "Of course not. She wasn't planned, but she's my daughter. Nothing will change that."
I nodded. "I wouldn't trade her for the world, either. Just acknowledging that whole, uh, yeah." I paused, "The other Pegasus Knights haven't been giving you shit, have they?"
"Not to my face, no," Cordelia answered, her voice low, "but I can see it in the way they look at me. I will just have to weather it, I suppose. I will need to win back the respect that I lost."
I looked away, a frown on my face. "Yeah, that's," I coughed, "I'm sorry, Cordy."
"Don't be. We did this together. It's only right that I share the blame," Cordelia assuaged, cupping my cheek. "Besides, didn't we just finish speaking about that?"
I chuckled. "Yeah, but it helps to hear it again, I guess." I looked up. "I'm still trying to talk to our other Severa. But, swear to Naga, I can't find her."
Cordelia stared at me, her head tilted curiously. "I've spoken to her several times already; I know she's still with us. How can't you…?"
"She's avoiding me," I answered, "She's avoiding me, and I can't find it in me to blame her. I'm not going to go and beat a dead horse, but it's my fault. My future self's fault, whatever. If I ever get my hands on that cheekless piece of shit, I'll throttle him with my own two hands."
"Alex," Cordelia called, giving me a stern look.
I let out a breath, shifting on the log. "I know. I know. I just, I'm sorry."
"I don't think she's avoiding you," Cordelia said. "We've both been busy, but you've also had several war councils' to attend, as well as troop movements to plan with Phila and Robin; your schedule is incredibly busy. After we're done here, perhaps, and you go looking for her, truly looking for her, you will find her. I believe you. It would be good for you both to have a nice, long conversation. To clear the air, if nothing else."
"You're right," I said, sighing. "You're always right. I can always trust you to do that, can't I? To keep my head on straight."
"Mhm. Who else would be willing to put up with that? Gods, if I were to leave you alone for more than a few moments, you'd simply unravel." Cordelia smirked.
"Hey, I'll have you know I got through Khadein just fine without you!"
"Yes, and whose arms did you run into when you were rescued?"
I reached over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Well, yours, of course. Think I'd run into anyone else's?"
"I… I wasn't expecting such an earnest answer," Cordelia blushed, looking away. "It is the correct one, obviously."
"Say one more word and I'll tickle you."
"You wouldn't dare!"
I looked at her, a smirk slowly drawing itself across my face. "Oh, but I do dare."
It was a very short conversation after that. I would always enjoy those little moments, before we went charging into hell. They were in short supply by then, and by Naga, I was going to enjoy every second I could grab.
I wasn't able to speak to Severa until after we reached our final destination in Valm. We stopped at a miserable little port town in southern Chon'sin, marshalling our ships and troops there while we waited for the world to become hospitable again. The port itself was actually named something pronounceable for once: Grayport. A bit unimaginative perhaps, but at least I could say it. There was even evidence that the place wasn't always under Chon'sinian rule; old buildings towards the center of town looked more like something I would find in Rosanne or Ylisse rather than the paper building of Chon'sin.
Either way, before we arrived, I wasn't able to find the time to speak to her. I knew she was still with the army, obviously. Someone would've told us had she just up and vanished, although I'd heard she'd given Aurora back to Cordelia. It wasn't rocket science for me to figure out why she did it. Between the constant meetings and taking care of our newborn baby, I just never found the time.
I realized how horrible that was, and I felt like an absolute asshole for it, but it was the truth. Still, I shouldered that guilt. I may have had pressing matters to attend to, but that didn't mean I should've neglected Severa. She'd already gone through enough of that with me in the future; she didn't need that shit in the past as well.
Despite that, though, I didn't find her by looking for her. Not that time, anyway. I was on my way to another meeting between me, Phila, and Say'ri. Discussing troop composition and the ableness of said soldiers. Riveting stuff, truly. When I saw Severa walking the streets of Grayport, something shiny held in her hands as she held it up to the sun, I took my chance. I didn't know I'd get another one.
"Hey, Sev," I called, approaching my future daughter. "What're you-?"
"Oh, hey, dad," She replied easily, twirling on her heels to face me. I finally got a good look at the thing in her hands: it was a golden chained necklace. It laced around her fingers, almost as if they were attached to her. "Good timing, by the way. What do you think of this? I just got from a market."
"The market? This place has a market?" I asked, blinking as I looked around. The street was relatively empty, all things considered. Only a few other people milled about.
Severa rolled her eyes. "Jeez, leave it to you to miss the biggest part of the town. They don't have a whole lot, but I was able to snag this at a decent price."
"I'd hope you did. You spent enough on your last shopping trip to bankrupt a small kingdom." I rubbed the back of my neck, "That was one helluva day."
The redhead waved her hand. "Eh, it isn't like you haven't dealt with it before. Or that you won't deal with it again soon. Think of it as practice."
"Practice. Uhuh," I grumbled. "Sev, I think we should talk."
"Talk? Gawd, that sounds so weird coming out of your mouth," Severa replied, her expression hardening. "But probably not right now. I wanted to go see if I could find some more stuff. I don't like the sound of coin clinking in my purse."
"Severa," I repeated, this time a bit more forcefully. "Please? We haven't had a proper talk since, well, since before you were born."
"Oh dear Naga, that sounds even worse…" She whispered, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. "Ya think you could rephrase that so it sounds a little less insane?"
I shrugged. "It's a mad world out there, Sev."
She snorted. "Well, guess I can't argue with that," She sighed. "Alright, fine, if you insist. But you better make it quick, dad. I swear I saw one of those stores having a sale."
We retreated to a deserted little corner, near the sea which we'd soon be crossing. It glimmered in the golden light of the sun. Soon, I would be missing that sun again. We all would be. But before then, I wanted to make sure my family was alright. All of them.
"Alright, so you've taken me here, away from the very nice marketplace. What is it you wanted to talk about, dad?" Severa asked pointedly, her arms crossed.
"I wanted to make sure you were alright, Sev," I said, letting out a breath. "I know… I know you didn't wanna speak to me before I left, and I didn't get a chance to try again before we left Rudol, so I guess I just wanted to check in on you, you know? If you don't want that then we can stop this here."
Severa sighed. "And I never got to say sorry about that, did I? Fuck. Well, uh, I'm sorry, dad. That was… well, I obviously wasn't in the best state of mind back then, you know?"
I nodded. "And I can understand why. Your father – I was turned into a monster. Not just on the inside, but the outside. That wasn't something I'd wish on anyone, least of all you, Sev. You deserved better than that."
"Gawd, what's gotten into you? Saying all of that just like that." She snapped her fingers, "I mean, yeah, I… appreciate you doing that, by the way. Saying all those things is kinda… well, yeah, just appreciated, I guess." She looked away. "But you shouldn't have to do all that. I'm fine now."
"You are?" I asked, blinking. "Well, uh, that's great! I just wanted to ask, ya know. Sorry I couldn't get to you until now; I don't really have an excuse for that."
"'Course you did." Severa waved, "You were taking care of me. Present me, I mean. Gawd, you and mom really had to do it during the middle of war, huh? Ain't like it didn't happen with my either, I guess. Don't worry, by the way. I'll be getting out of your guys' hair soon enough."
"Getting out of-" I shook my head, staring at Severa in disbelief as I took a step forward. "Severa, what does that mean? You couldn't…"
She sighed, crossing her arms again. "I don't belong here, dad. I never had. The past few months have been… okay, they've been nice, alright? I admit it! But I can't stay here. I don't want to when you guys have already given birth to me." Severa cringed, running a hand down her face. "Gawd, now you got me saying it. See what you've done? This is awful!"
"You're damn right it's awful!" I replied, my voice becoming shaky. "Leaving? Severa, why? Why would you do that?"
"Didn't I just tell you? I don't belong here!" Severa retorted, her own voice growing louder. "I'd only get in the way. The present version of me doesn't need some grown idiot who can barely keep it together at the best of times! And you won't have to deal with my dumbass anymore."
"Severa," I said, trying to get my breathing under control. I was having a lot of problems with that. "Your mother and I don't care about that. I know for a fucking fact that we'd love nothing more than to have you as part of our lives. Even with you being born here now, we'd find some way to make it work. I know we can!"
Severa shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe we could. I'm twenty years old, dad. I'm a grown-ass woman. Even if I don't act like it." She wiped at her eyes, "Gawd, why'd you have to make this so hard? It was supposed to be… Damn you! I'm leaving once this is all over, and that's final!"
"You really gonna take that tone with me?" I sniffed, "You almost sound like me when you talk like that. I've been at it longer than you have, though, and I'm telling you to stay. And that's final."
"This isn't a game!" Severa exclaimed, turning around, "Dad, just listen to me. I'm doing you a favor here. If we were… if we were still in the future, I'd already be moving out of the house and doing something with my life, probably even before then."
I shook my head. "There's more to this, isn't there? Sev, please, tell me."
Severa pursed her lips, not looking me in the eye.
"Severa."
"I just wanna get the fuck out of here, alright!?' Severa snapped. "There's too many memories here! Too much fucked up crap! I can't stand it!" Severa blinked after realizing what she said, as I took a step back. "I just… Gawd, dad, I just want to get away from here. Away from these two cesspits we call continents. Just somewhere else. Anywhere else."
"Okay," I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat.
Severa raised her head, an expression of disbelief crossing her face. "Dad?"
"I can understand that, Severa," I continued, "I felt a lot like you, a long time ago. I wanted nothing more than to get away from here. Away from all the pain and bloodshed." I looked down, a small smile forming, "I wanted to see them again, after Donny's death. My family, back home. But really, I think I just wanted to get away from Archanea. From Valm, all of it. Your mother and Robin eventually, uh, convinced me to come back, but before then, I was in a rough spot."
Severa stared at me quietly, her lips in a thin line.
"If that's what you truly want – to leave us and go off on your own – I won't stop you. Like you said, you're a grown-ass woman now. You can do whatever you want. Heh, maybe it was my own selfishness that wanted you to stay. I've lost a lot of people in my life, Severa, Lost my entire family once before. I just didn't want to lose you, too."
"Daddy…"
I shook my head. "Just remember: we'll always be here for you, Severa. No matter where you go, what far off lands you travel to, your mother and I will always have a place for you here."
"Gawd…" Severa sniffled. "Why is it whenever I talk to you guys you always say some stupid shit that gets me crying? Before I came here I barely did that! Look what you made me do!" Severa took several shaky deep breaths, standing tall. "I need to go clean up before I go to the market again. I look like a wreck now."
I rubbed the back of my neck, chuckling despite the weight that settled in my chest, "Yeah, you get that from me too. Before I came here I almost never cried. It's good, though. To let it all out."
"Shut up before you make me do it more," Severa demanded, "Gawd… Okay. Okay, I'm good now. I, uh, I'm glad we had this talk. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all."
I nodded. "Go ahead and get yourself cleaned up, Sev. Never know when the market closes."
"It closes at night, obviously. Are you daft?" Severa asked, smirking as she turned around. "But yeah, think I'll do that. Later, dad."
Before she rounded the corner, I said one final thing, "I love you, Sev."
She stopped in her tracks, her fist clenching for a brief moment before relaxing again.
"…I love you too, daddy." She replied, before she turned and I lost sight of her.
My mind was cleared, certainly, but a weight settled in my chest all the same.
"This would go much quicker if it were Robin meeting with us," Phila pointed out, rubbing her temples and I glared at her from across the table. "You are a capable commander when duty calls, Sir Alexander, if perhaps a bit overemotional, but your negotiating skills require work. Much, much work."
A stiff breeze blew into our tent. One side of it was open to the sea, to keep an eye on it while our soldiers went to and fro, moving supplies around and setting up for a few weeks time, when we would be sailing back across the long sea. Back home.
"Yeah, well, Robin is busy planning troop movements with Chrom and the rest to really deal with you both right now. Not that you aren't important, Phila, Say'ri," I nodded to the two women of war in front of me. "And I'm sorry if I'm coming off like a right asshole, but to be fair, I have gone the past few days without much sleep."
"And whose fault is that, Sir Alexander?" Phila asked pointedly.
"Our own. Did I ever say it wasn't?" I sighed, massaging my forehead. "Right. That sounded like I was making excuses. Sorry about that too. I'll keep a handle on it. No more interjections. Just tell me about your respective divisions." I looked to Phila, "The Pegasus Knights. How are they?"
Phila looked down at me from the bridge of her nose, something that was only possible because I was sitting down. "Hmph. Our numbers have dwindled since the beginning of the war, but we are still a force to be reckoned with. We number just over five-hundred now, all in all, plus the women we received from Sir Priam's forces."
"Priam ain't a knight, but whatever, that's good." I blinked before shaking my head. "That was uncalled for and I'm sorry. Say'ri? How're Chon'sin's forces?"
Say'ri looked between me and Phila for a moment before sighing. "Fie, here I thought I would never have a chance to speak… Sir Alexander, we are ready and able to bring our full might against the Fell Dragon and those who serve him. Just as you liberated our country from the Conqueror, so shall we deliver yours from this encroaching darkness."
I nodded. "Good. If that's it, then-"
"'Tis not all, sir," Say'ri interrupted, and I groaned. "You sound as if you should be in bed rather than gathering information on our forces. Shall I escort you personally?"
I raised my iron hand. "I've had a helluva day so far, Say'ri. But you're right; that's no excuse to act like an asshole. Fuck, and I keep doing it, too!" I took a deep breath. "I guess you were right, Phila."
"Will you not listen to what she has to say?" Phila queried, brow raised. "If you continue to be as prickly as you are, I say we go with her suggestion."
Waving my iron hand, I regarded the raven-haired warrior princess again, "Go ahead, Say'ri. If I say anything, just ignore me."
"Fie, 'tis difficult when you speak so boisterously," Say'ri grumbled before straightening herself out. "There is a divide in my army. Not one borne of mistrust of me, however. No, 'tis distrust of my own blood; of Yen'fay."
I raised a brow, "They're getting on your ass about Yen'fay?"
"The punishment for treason in Chon'sin is death by disembowelment, Sir Alexander," Say'ri answered grimly. "There are many who believe Yen'fay's actions during the war warrant such a weighty punishment. Had it been months ago, I would have agreed. But now that I have him at my side again, I have questioned myself."
"Questioned yourself, huh?" I murmured, brows furrowing. "Last time you talked to him it sounded like you wanted to tear into his throat with your own teeth. What changed?"
"The fact you are able to say such things with naught but a twitch of your brow disturbs me," Say'ri stated, her gaze quickly turning into a glower. "I cannot say that you are wrong, however. I was blinded by rage, embittered by hatred. How could my own brother surrender our proud nation to a blatant tyrant? But as we spoke, I realized: he did not destroy Chon'sin. He saved it."
"In surrendering, he allowed your armies ample opportunity to grow," Phila said. "Even under the Conqueror's heel, he plotted vengeance. Retribution. Did he not?"
"You speak rightly, Flight-Commander." Say'ri nodded, "'Tis true; our own armies grew strong under Walhart's watchful gaze. And when the worm Excellus was slain, he surrendered them to us, and we finally brought our full might against the Conqueror." Say'ri's lip twitched, "Fie, my only regret was that 'twas not one of our blades what separated his head from his shoulders."
"Are you saying he planned that whole thing?" I asked, crossing my arms as I leaned back in my chair. "That's actually pretty clever."
"Aye, but it has had a ruinous effect on our troops. As I said, even now, part of my army want his head on a silver plate." Say'ri looked down, drawing a circle in the wooden table with her finger. "With these revelations, however, I cannot give them what the way. I cannot have my own blood murdered in such a callous fashion. Not when he saved the very people who now call for his grisly death."
"…I'm sorry to ask this, Say'ri," I began, swallowing. "But, I need to. For the sake of my own country. Will this effect your troops' during the battle for Warreth? For Ylisstol? For all Ylisse."
"'Twould be foolish to bring it up had I no concerns about it," Say'ri replied. "You do not need to apologize, Sir Alex. 'Tis not your problem that my own army is too mired in old traditions to see the threat that waits across the sea. I feel that something needs to happen before we set sail, before one of my men do something drastic."
Before I could respond, I heard a commotion outside. I snapped my head to the open side of our tent, watching as Chon'sinian soldiers ran to the right as someone's voice grew louder.
"Mayhap you will get that chance," Phila said. "We should break this rabble up."
"Here I was, thinking it would be another boring day…" I groaned. "You're right, through; let's go. Say'ri?"
"…Fie, perhaps better this be sorted now rather than later." She answered, her voice quiet.
"Brothers and sisters of Chon'sin! Before us stands the coward Yen'fay!" A loud voice echoed across the cold stones of the street, just beyond the ocean's view. "Would you have his crimes go unpunished!? Would you have him walk among us for a single moon more!? His actions led to our enslavement to the Conqueror! Shall we just let him tread upon the earth, his deeds left to proceed him? Nay, I say! Nay!"
There was a clear split between those egging the bold Chon'sinian on, and those who remained deathly quiet. In the middle of the crowd stood Yen'fay, his expression stony as he regarded both the mob around him and the lone soldier who thought it was a good idea to confront him.
"I should've known…" I sighed, hand on the pommel of my sword. "Say'ri, I'm not going to let him kill Yen'fay. If this goes on for much longer, I will step in."
"Unnecessary, sir," Say'ri replied, drawing a silver blade from its scabbard as she marched forward. "I will handle this personally."
I watched her march through the group towards the opening in the middle. Sighing once more, I turned to Phila. "Think she'll be able to calm them down?"
"She is Chon'sin's ruler now," Phila pointed out, staring at the situation as it unfolded. "She has been taught to command, to order. Were it not for that, I would be dubious. But so far, she has shown herself to be a competent leader. I have faith she will see this through."
I rolled my shoulders, "We're agreed, then. Let's have a look-see."
The Chon'sinian soldier drew his own blade, aiming at Yen'fay as his breath came out in cold mist. "I will do what our leader is too blinded by blood to do. You will pay for your crimes, Yen'fay!"
"…I have never denied my own people's hatred of me," Yen'fay finally spoke, unmoving. "Even while you were all under my rule, I could feel it simmering, just below the surface. You all despised me, and I carry that loathsome weight even now. Perhaps this is the recompense for my necessary treachery. Let it be, then. Strike me down, sir. Splatter my blood across these stones, if you so desire. Just know that everything I have done, every reprehensible action, has been in service to our nation. So that you would have the strength to do what must be done."
"Fie, this is madness!" Say'ri finally shouted, bursting into the circle made by the crowd. Her blade already drawn, she stood between the Chon'sinian soldier and her brother. "You will not lay a hand on my brother!"
"…My lady," The Chon'sinian hissed through gritted teeth, "You are protecting a traitor to Chon'sin. I may have no authority of my own, no land to speak of, but I know of our customs, and I would despise for you to be branded a traitor as well."
"Aye, you have no authority!" Say'ri spat, "None to speak of! I am Empress of Chon'sin, fool, and I will not have my word spoken back to me by one of my own men! Yen'fay deserves your respect!"
"My respect!?" The man sputtered back, incredulously. "You dare!? He sold our glorious nation to the devils of the north! And you demand I respect him!?"
"That I do," Say'ri responded easily. "It is only through his actions that we live. Warriors of Chon'sin! Hear me well! Yen'fay's actions are reprehensible, if one were to refuse to look beyond the surface. Under Walhart's rule, you grew stronger instead of weaker. And when the time came, you gathered your wits and brandished your swords and charged into hell with naught but a single fear! And now the Conqueror lies dead, and a new enemy marshals his strength to the east. To waste time on this would be a fool's game. And I will not allow it to go further! Should any man declare that Yen'fay must die, then they shall have to cut through me as well, and allow the Fell Dragon to devour all our souls!"
There were murmurings in the crowd at that. I had to admit, Say'ri's impassioned speech was impressive. Inspiring, even. I watched as the crowd slowly seemed to grow calmer, even the side that was calling for Yen'fay's death then and there.
"…Perhaps what you say is true, my lady," The Chon'sinian soldier replied, his voice low. "Mayhap I acted to rashly. But know this: our people will not forget Yen'fay's crimes. There is little doubt that he will go down in our histories as a traitor and a scoundrel, and there is nothing you can do to change it."
"Let it be so," Yen'fay said suddenly. "My life and reputation were forfeited long ago."
The Chon'sinian man sheathed his sword. "Let it be so."
The crowd began to dissipate then. Soon, they were gone, with only a few soldiers milling about. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Thank Naga for that. Glad I didn't have to get involved."
"You say that as if you would have been able to break apart that crowd yourself," Phila said, looking at me with a brow raised.
I snorted. "Eh, probably not. That's why I'm glad I didn't have to. But look at her," I nodded towards Say'ri, who was exchanging quiet words with her brother. "We're lucky to have someone like her around. And not just because we've got a shit ton of Chon'sinian soldier's strutting about."
Phila hummed, "Perhaps we are able to agree on something after all."
"The hell's that supposed to mean?" I grumbled. "We agree on all sorts of things."
"Mm. Maybe," Phila replied cryptically. "Once Frederick gets his hands on you again, I suspect you will be in for quite the tongue-lashing."
"You'll never let us live that down, will you?" I growled, rubbing my temple. "Look, we got it covered. She'll be far away from the battlefield, and we'll have zero problems regarding it during our campaign. And do you really think I won't stand my ground on this? Frederick doesn't scare me. Not anymore."
"Is that so?" Phila asked. "Still, you seem sincere, so I will take your word for it. Despite my words, I do find you to be a worthy successor to one such as him, once you sand down the rough edges. I daresay you might make a fine Knight-Commander in your own right."
"I ain't exactly looking forward to that, Phila," I sighed. "I still don't think it was right to saddle us with burdens like that without our say-so."
"Your duty as a knight of the realm is to your lord first and foremost, and to your country. The Halidom ill needs a treacherous fool who will bolt at the first sign of stiff resistance." Phila intoned, her hands clasped behind her back. "I understand your reservations, Sir Alex. Truly, I do. Once, I found myself with similar doubts. And even now, my leadership is lacking. Cordelia will certainly surpass me. Both of you will lead our nation into a glorious new era alongside Prince Chrom, or not at all."
"Grima." I stated, my left hand clenching. "Right. Should've known."
"We will rebuild," Phila said, stalwart. "Ylisse will become as beautiful as it once was, on the backs of those who revived it. You. The Shepherds. All of you. I have faith that that will one day be true."
I let out a breath, relaxing. "I hope I don't disappoint you, then."
And yet, all I could think about was my little girl, without a father or mother to love her and care for her.
Severa would not be coming with us. The one that had just come into our lives. Of that, we were certain.
We would come back for her when the war was over and Ylisse was freed from Grima's grasp. For the moment, she would likely stay in Grayport, under the watchful eye of the few Shepherds we left behind to keep an eye on Valm. Chief among them, Tharja and Libra.
The one-armed priest was in no way able to fight. Not then. And Tharja demanded she stay with him, with Noire soon following. The nervous archer hadn't done well during the war, if what I was told was to be believed. Beyond them, a small detachment would be staying to help direct post-war movements.
That essentially meant we were all ready to go. The ships were ready, the men were ready, and we were ready. The Shepherds prepared for their bloodiest conflict yet. And yet, one day, when I looked in the mirror, I was at a loss.
The man that stood before me, shirtless in the cold room with a razor poised to remove his facial hair, was not the same one I saw myself as. He stared at me from across the glass, surprise evident in his expression; a scarred visage that belonged more on a professional soldier rather than a man who naught but four years ago was studying language at a community college.
Deciding to not wear a shirt was a mistake. It exposed my chest, revealing my skin which looked more like colored and dented iron rather than living flesh. I hadn't time to put on my iron hand, revealing my burn-scarred stump where my right hand used to be. The iron hand helped, but sometimes, I still felt as if it was there, always twitching, trying to pick up a pencil or a sword, only for the cruel reality to dawn upon me. My chest was criss-crossed with scars, and by Naga, I could remember which battle gave me which ones. The one in my gut was from my first real injury on the battlefield, during the Plegian War, the ones that went down my pecs like claws were the most recent, from the Risen taguel that damn near ripped Libra apart, and then-
My hand glided along the one which went across my chest, my throat, and then up past my lip. There were others, of course, but those were the ones which stood out the most. The one I got when Donnel died.
The thing in the mirror stared gormlessly at me, and I felt sick.
We had a scant few days before we left for Archanea, and I spent that time with my wife and child, as much of it as I could spare. I held Severa in my arms for what might've been the final time, looking down at her and loving her with all my heart.
I only prayed I would be there to fulfill my promise. That I would return. That we would return and we'd be a happy family, finally.
And by Naga did I pray. I truly prayed for the first time in what felt like years. Not to the God I knew, but to the god I beheld at the Divine Dragon Grounds, when Grima's darkness was dispelled from Valm's skies.
I'm not a praying man. I never have been. But if there's one thing I want above all others, one thing I wish would be true, no matter the circumstances, would be for Cordelia and Severa to be safe. Both of them. Please. Please just let them live. Let them have the lives they deserve.
I don't care what happens to me, so long as they're happy…
And that is a wrap. This the last completely lighthearted Chapter I have planned. Enjoy it while it lasts; next time, the final battle begins.
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