Chapter 111: The Steers & Roebuck Catalog


Nick and Jake peruse through an old retail store catalog.


The fall sky was overcast and the gray clouds hung low, threatening rain over the modern city of Zootopia which sprawled below them. A lean raccoon in a fashionable light tan jacket was standing on a brightly painted red oriental style bridge. His companion was a lanky red fox in a dark blue windbreaker with the letters 'ZPD' stenciled on the backside. Below the bridge were several white ducks which quacked as they splashed about frantically trying to gobble up the bread crumbs that the fox was tossing into the pond water around them.

"So Jake, I take it that they were unhappy with the results of the election?" the fox asked while he watched the ducks below them.

"Nick, you know how they can get at the Main Street Cafe. Everyone in there has to throw their two-cents in about everything political," the raccoon answered as he opened an old wrinkled nondescript brown paper bag that was in his paws and pulled out a catalog from inside. "There was even talk about seceding from Zootopia and reincorporating the town again."

"Happy Town failed back in the Sixties when the mills shut down, don't they know that it would now take an act of the state legislature to even get a referendum on the next ballot and that election isn't for two more years?"

"Yeah, they know. It's all talk and no action, just like always. Someone even said that I should run for mayor, can you imagine that?"

"Who would vote for a former crook?" Nick scoffed. "Well, besides me, Judy, and maybe Marie?"

"Come on, I'm very popular around town and I think I'd even have a chance to get elected. You might be looking at the future honorable Mayor Jake Runnel of Happy Town and if you play your cards right, I might even appoint you to be the town's chief of police. Think about it, we could get you a fancy uniform with gold piping and four...no make it five...big gold stars for each collar just to make Bogo jealous!"

"That would be something," Nick laughed before he looked at the catalog in his friend's paws. So Big Bob just gave you that old 1977 Steers and Roebucks Winter's Eve catalog which he found in the backroom of his pawnshop? I wonder what long-forgotten treasures that old possum has buried in all that mess back there?"

"I shudder to think about what else is in that room, he is a bit of a hoarder," Jake snickered. "Although I'm sure there is no real treasure."

I kind of miss Steers and Roebuck, it's too bad that they went bankrupt a few years ago. I remember my mom once bought a washing machine and dryer from them and when I was little, I used to like jumping up onto the dryer when she ran it because it shook and felt warm. I'd curl up and take a nap on top of the machine, it was like a free spa."

"Bad management and online ordering killed them, they should have invested in improving their in-store and online shopping experiences. In the end, they just couldn't compete in the ever-changing retail market, like Mousey's or even Targoat were able to do."

The fox just shook his head as he returned to throwing crumbs down to the ducks gathered on the small pond while the raccoon continued to peruse the catalog.

Jake grew quiet as he turned the pages and finally he grunted in a somewhat disgusted tone. "Can you believe some of the clothes in here!" he tusked. "A three-piece corduroy business suit made from what they call a wrinkle-resistant polyester and cotton blend to ensure a good fit and a fashionable look!" After the raccoon turned the page, he silently handed it to the fox while he gave him a knowing grin.

"Leisure suits?" Nick barked out in surprise. "I can't believe anyone actually wore one of those? Look at the shirts too, they are made from polyester to mimic the look of silk, and those models who are wearing them have them unbuttoned almost down to their belts. The shirt collars are really wide too, but I guess that helps highlight all the fake gold chains they are wearing around their necks.

Jake peeked over the fox's shoulder. "You got to love the tight pants with the flared bottoms," he snickered and then poking Nick's arm he added. "They even have them in checkered patterns! I bet that is something you'd have worn if you had lived back then."

"Well, you do have to be styling when you dance the Hustle to the song Friday Night Fever or Disco Ducky!"

"Hey Nick, have you noticed that, with the exception of one or two she-wolves, there are barely any other models who are predators in this catalog?"

"It was the seventies and everything was marketed towards the perfect prey family. It was the era of pet rocks, mood rings, and station wagons with fake wood trim. We predators were not a market that they were taping into, they were just taking us for granted," Nick answered with a shrug while he turned the pages. Suddenly he stopped and snickered as he gave Jake a smirk. "Well, there is a raccoon in here after all."

"On a page full of work clothes," Jake groaned as he looked at the picture of a raccoon modeling a dark blue cotton twill factory worker's uniform. "He's not really very stylish is he?"

"But the two rabbits in denim overalls are!"

"Sure, Wilde!"

Nick flipped the pages until he found pictures of a few animals in athletic clothes, including a pretty ewe in a pink tube top and a pair of tight red nylon shorts. On the next page, there was a large polar bear in a dark blue velour tracksuit. "Well, now we know where Koslov got his sense of style!" the fox laughed.

"Wow, this catalog has just about everything in it! Car parts, tires, tractors, sheds, and even refrigerators!" Jake exclaimed.

"All of which could be ordered by picking up the phone," Nick replied and then he laughed. "And you can even buy the phone too."

"Rotary dial only," Jake added. "Hey look, there is an eight-track tape machine with a record player!"

"Dig all those electric typewriters!"

"Pop always said that Steers and Roebucks had the best tools, I wish I still had some of his."

"Let me guess, you pawned them to help pay off his medical bills and funeral expenses?" Nick softly asked. The answer he got from his best friend was a sad nod. Looking back at the catalog, he added, "You know pal, this is a regular consumer's bible. It's like the internet on paper."

The fox flipped a few pages and then hesitated in the toy section. "I heard of these!" he commented as he handed the catalog back to the raccoon. "Can you believe someone thought that this was a good idea?"

"Yard darts!" Jake laughed. "They look like fun."

"They were fun enough to put you in the hospital or worse."

"Ouch! I guess they are very pointy?"

"I remember reading that a couple of elephants were playing with darts in one of the city parks and a missed throw pinned a small mouse-sized bus full of nuns and orphans into the nearby road. No one was killed, but it caused quite a stir and the mayor prohibited their use on city property after that."

"It was a miracle that no one got hurt."

"I'm sure that is exactly what the nuns all said."

The fox continued to watch as the raccoon kept turning pages.

"I always wanted a train set when I was a kit," Nick said when Jake paused on a page. "Mom never could afford one. Did your dad ever get you a set?"

"He did find some toy train parts in the trash once and then Big Bob had some other odd pieces," Jake replied with a grin while he handed the catalog back to Nick. "I think I was twelve and tried to make a transformer to run the old junk."

"Did you get it to work?"

"Nope, but I about electrocuted myself to death. Actually, the track gave me a big jolt and I had very fashionably curly fur for a day or two afterward."

"Sometimes I wonder about you coon?" Nick laughed as he closed the catalog and handed it back to Jake. "Come on, I told Carrots that I'd pick up a pizza for dinner."

"Pizza sounds good!" the raccoon added with a grin.

"Okay, I'll get several as long as you let us come over and watch a movie on your big screen television."

"Deal!"

"After all, what would a Friday night movie night be without you, Marie, and the boys?" Nick laughed as he lovingly ruffled the fur between the raccoon's ears.


Winter's Eve and the Winter Solstice are Zootopia's versions of our Christmas. On Winter's Eve, Santa Paws would deliver presents to all good little children, and the next morning there would be sunrise religious services, followed by a feast.

Of course in our world, Sears, Roebuck and Company had changed their stores to just Sears. I wonder if any of you have memories about the old Sears Christmas Catalogs? Robert Passikoff referred to the Sears Catalog as the "consumer's bible" in an article he wrote for Forbes Magazine many years ago. Back in the company's early years, you could even buy a mail-order house.