Todoroki
The next morning, I found out that not only had a movie night been planned the night before, but that Shinso and Kaminari had also become a couple, and the latter, by far, had me quite surprised. I knew they got along pretty well but I never imagined it was "that well".
The subject, of course, had caused me a mixture of feelings to which I couldn't quite name. I couldn't stop thinking about my dad's awkward expression when I told him that Katsuki and I had been dating. Added to the fact that Mineta's shadow was still a headache, that despite the fact that the worst was over as my old man didn't seem to disagree at all, I still felt pressured, uncomfortable and sad. The last thing I wanted was for Katsuki to be hurt by him, and if I had to keep my distance for that, I would.
Also, as a result of the blackmail, Katsuki had also kept his distance, this being the worst of this whole situation. I had grown so used to his warmth that my room felt horribly cold without his company. I wanted to hug him and just as Shinso and Kaminari could be together without inconvenience, I wanted to tell others how important he was to me.
I'd been down after final exam week, eating just enough, wanting to wake up from this nightmare where I had to be separated from one of the most important people to me. In my room I only reviewed the moments with him; the memory of his hands stroking my hair, his faint smell of burned caramel, his reddish cheeks next to his frown when I teased him, his lips on mine, even how he pinched my cheeks to annoy me. I missed him yelling, his sarcastic comments, and how his red eyes seemed to mesmerize me every time we were together ... even though my cheeks always ended up wet, thinking about this was the only thing keeping me sane.
The day had passed without a hitch. The boys were audibly and visibly animated, even throwing popcorn as if it were a competition. I wanted to be as lively as they were. I was seated next to Midoriya, who was chatting with Iida about the best movies for heroes–in–training while Tsuchan and Uraraka talked about the leading actors in the movie that we would see that night. I really didn't feel like being present, but I only agreed because it would be the last night together before our winter break.
At the other end, Katsuki was sitting next to a Sero he paid little or any attention to, staring at his drink. He didn't seem comfortable being there either, but knowing how insistent Ashido and Kaminari can be, it's no wonder he agreed, either to be left alone or because they would have dragged him here otherwise.
I got up to the kitchen for a moment to drink strawberry milk. I know it's not a typical Christmas movie night drink, but I needed to relax and only this sweet drink was able to make me feel a little more at ease. I went to the cupboard, dodging an excited Oijiro who almost made me spill the container of water I was holding; I never imagined that he liked this type of film so much, and that he shared these tastes with Shinso, who seems to prefer Halloween more than any other holiday.
I searched the cupboards for the pink flavoring for my drink, only to, like that night when Midoriya discovered our relationship, I found a container with little residue with the scent of strawberry.
– Why don't they throw away the empty containers? – I snorted uncomfortably to head to the cabinets in the laundry area, hoping there was a spare. Standing there, despite the bustle, made my mind travel to that night where I was in Katsuki's arms, just as I would like to be now. A bitter sigh rose from my throat as I reached for the container and made up my mind to go back to the breakfast room, but Kirishima's voice, or rather, the name he spoke, stopped my return.
– Do you know where Mineta is? I haven't seen him since last night – they were in one of the laundromat sections that separated us by a bamboo curtain.
– Um ... He's doing extra homework! – He was with Kaminari – Apparently, he didn't do very well in the exams ...
– Shinso said that he would be the one who would choose the movie, and now he can't even be here?
– Yeah... It's a shame – he concluded. We had been avoiding the purple-ball-haired boy not just to keep up appearances, but because I didn't know what I might be capable of. Thinking of him, brought out the worst in me lately.
– Whatever. By the way, haven't you noticed something gloomy about Bakubro? – The redhead asked and my reflexes turned my hands into fists.
– Yeah, you're right. His threats are no longer as terrifying as before. In fact, he has hardly yelled at us since the day of the storm.
– I wonder if it's related to...
– Related with what?
– No, it doesn't matter. – Hearing the sound of plastic bags – Help me bring these goodies to the table in the common area. – He asked, this being my signal to get away from the place. For some reason, the idea of preparing something to drink vanished when I heard them worrying about their friend. I was feeling heavy and seriously considered locking myself in my room, but Uraraka's intervention was what started my real frustration.
– We cannot start movie night without bringing up some topics – She said making me look away from the container with pictures of strawberries – Shinso! Kaminari! Who confessed to whom? – Kaminari's face was competing with Kirishima's hair while Shinso's laugh was heard carefree at the other end of the kitchen
– It was Kaminari – He said smiling – But it was a matter of time before I gave myself away
– Don't want to steal all the credit! I helped too! – Yelled energetically Sero from the couch – In fact, I already have on my list who will be my next client – Client? – Are you interested in someone, Bakugou? – Leaning back from the aforementioned while I felt that my chest was going to explode – Perhaps having a partner will take away your bitterness
– WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING, DAMN SOY FACE ?! – creating an explosion that caused him to fall to the ground. Katsuki's face was so red that, far from being annoyed, he seemed to contain a scream.
– Someone told me that Kemy, the girl from Shiketsu with whom you did the extracurricular course together with Todoroki, thought you were cute – Ashido continued, not knowing that she had lit the fuse of a bomb
– As if that exhibitionist was my type! – scream
– What's your type then? – Sero inquired hoping, perhaps, that this time Katsuki would hit him harder
– Guys, let's see the movie as... – Midoriya tried, without success
– Now that I think about it, finding out Bakugou's likes would be a very interesting plot for a movie – Shinso added, enjoying the chaos
– Todoroki! – I thanked being leaning against the counter, otherwise my nervousness would have become too obvious – You spend a lot of time with Bakugou, haven't you been able to notice what Bakugou's preferences are? – Ashido asked mischievously
– I…
– The popcorn is getting cold, guys! – Hagakure interrupted
– Hagakure's right – Iida stated, shaking off my answer, only for the next comment to feel like a dagger in my chest.
– I think that, no matter who it is, I'm sure it will be someone he'd want to show off – my muscles felt stiff and I felt absurdly vulnerable standing in the middle of the kitchen
– If you weren't such good friends, I'd think you'd be his ideal type, Kirishima – Sero commented mockingly.
– Maybe it would be – going to the sofa, imitating his mocking tone, settling next to Katsuki; where I would like to be.
– You would make a very good couple, a whole bromance without the "b" – Sero continued, amusing the others with his comment, while I just wanted to disappear. – You were the first to get close to him, you train quite often and he even seems to tolerate you much more than the rest – every word was throbbing in my chest.
– And you would go on double dates with Shinso and Kaminari – Uraraka insisted, but now I was halfway to the stairs.
– Todoroki, where are you going? – Tsuchan asked, making almost forty eyes fix on me.
– I'm going to answer a call – just leaving. My feet felt awkward and heavy on the way to my room, wanting to fall deeply asleep indefinitely.
The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. If he was with Kirishima, he wouldn't have to deal with the constant threat of an abusive father, much less the scrutiny of having chosen the most unstable and traumatized of all possible candidates.
I don't know how, but somehow, we had become much closer and due to the ambiguity, we had been with from the beginning, it is likely that he felt pressured to admit we were dating out of sheer pity.
When I got to my room, the tears I tried to hold back made two wet lines on my cheeks as my head seemed to want to explode from the amount of overwhelming thoughts that began to cloud my vision, reminding my body of the unpleasant sensation of an attack of panic.
In my head his name was the first thing I managed to formulate, but that only made my condition worse by imagining that dealing with someone like me couldn't be more than a burden to him.
How much longer will I be living in the shadow of my old man?
My door rattled and shortly after I heard it open, unable to define the figure that made its way to the foot of my bed, where I was desperately trying to breathe, turned into a bundle of nerves and sobs.
– I'm with you – his voice was like a lullaby – try to regulate your pulse with mine – and his chest, a warm refuge to which I had become irremediably accustomed
– Katsuki, I ...
– Nothing those extras say will change how I feel for you – taking my face with his hand, wiping my cheeks.
– Why are you with me? – Did I really want to hear your answer?
He stared at me in silence for what seemed like hours
– Shoto ...
– I–is it out of pity or… ?!
– What the hell?! – Making me sit up – What makes you think that?
– You'd be much better off with Kirishima – I felt like I was breaking down. – If you weren't with me...
– I wouldn't be happy
– Are you happy now? – His eyes were fixed on the ground, sentencing my chest to an unbearable anguish, understanding that this was his answer. I was getting ready to get up, when he brought his lips to mine. The softness with which he gently kissed me gave me the breath of life that I didn't know I was missing until that moment.
– Yes, I am infinitely happy with you – caressing my cheeks. – And I would never be with someone out of pity. – The weight of my shoulders slowly vanished
– This has been only ours because perhaps it was the best way to deal with what we felt at the beginning, but now, after so long, will it be worth it for others to know?
– I hate the idea of them meddling in my private life and I hate being the main topic of conversation ... – my heart felt heavy again – but – straightening my hair – what I feel for you is much stronger than any other feeling I have ever felt. – My heart was beating so hard I thought I was going to pass out. He had managed to put everything I feel for him into words without the slightest hesitation.
His lips rested on mine again, and as if it were magic, all my fears disappeared. – It doesn't matter what they think as long as you and I are sure of how we feel for each other, understood? – squeezing my cheeks, except that this time, his grip was not so firm, perhaps because they were wet from my tears. – I didn't even kill that idiot Deku when he saw us. If that doesn't show you how important you are to me, I don't know what will. – He said, showing me that smile that made me feel the center of the universe; of his universe.
– Thank you – silently joining our foreheads with our eyes closed and our calm breathing being the only audible sound in my room.
I like Katsuki tender side because, in my opinion, it's not so cloying.
Fact # 73
I was thinking for a long time who should narrate this chapter, and I think Todoroki was the best option.
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