Chapter 115: My Guitar Sings the Blues


A lazy weekend and Jake goes shopping for Freddie's Winter's Eve gift. The chapter's title is based on an old B.B. King song that the late great legend played on his favorite guitar which he had named Lucille.


The fox tod and rabbit doe cuddled in their bed, the late autumn morning sun was peeking around the corners of their bedroom window's curtains. Nick gave a content sigh when he felt his wife Judy snuggle closer and he tried to wag his tail but it was tangled in the mess of sheets and blankets which had been haphazardly tossed around them. He felt her paw begin to play with his creamy white chest fur. "It's nice to have a few days off together," Judy softly said. "Ever since I took that promotion, it seems like I'm always at the office and when I'm not, you are at work."

"A police officer's job is never done," Nick replied as he stroked her left ear. "As they say, crime never sleeps." He gave a smile as she put her head on his chest.

"Nick," Judy began, but there was a tone of uncertainty in her voice when she hesitated briefly. "Do you ever regret that you married me? I mean since we could never have kits?"

He froze at first and then relaxed when he looked down into her hazel eyes. "Never!" he said as he pulled her up closer. "I knew that just as well as you did before we married. You know that I love you, Judy." His muzzle met hers in a passionate kiss.

There were the sounds of yelling in the distance and both of their eyes opened when they heard the young voices. Judy's ears shot up, almost bopping Nick on his nose and he wanted to laugh while she intently listened. "That would be Nicky arguing with Freddie over something he has," she said.

There was the sound of a young raccoon protesting. "That would be the sound of Nicky taking whatever they are fighting over from Freddie," she added.

Suddenly there was a fox-like growl. "That would be Cheri taking whatever it was from Nicky and giving it back to Freddie," Nick chuckled. "Do you think he is okay?"

"Cheri's bark is usually worse than her bite," Judy replied. "She wouldn't hurt Nicky…well, not too much."

Things grew quiet again while the two lovers were still sprawled out on their bed. "Dude, you're an idiot!" another voice said from not too far away outside.

"That would be Billy," Judy whispered. "He and Nicky must be climbing up into the playhouse."

"Shhh!" they heard Nicky say. "Keep your voice down. Pop says both Aunt Judy and Uncle Nick have the day off and since they aren't up and about, that means they are still sleeping. "

"Why do adults sleep so much?" Billy replied. "When my sister got married, she and her husband were always going to bed early and sometimes wouldn't get up until lunch. Then they would also decide to take naps together in the afternoon."

"I don't think they were just sleeping?" Nicky sarcastically chuckled. "Now keep it down, you know Aunt Judy has those humongous ears that can hear anything you say up to two miles away!"

"Hey, my ears aren't that huge!" Judy softly protested as she lifted her head from Nick's chest.

"Your ears are humongously cute," the fox laughed as he pushed her back down. "Ow!" he faked a grunt when she softly elbowed him. "Hey, I thought a husband could call his wife cute?"

"Slick, humongously isn't even a real word," she giggled. "At least I don't think it is?"

"Sure it is! It is a special fox word used to describe bunny ears," he teased back. He quickly moved his paw to block her attempted elbowing of him again and then licked her right ear, causing her to shudder.

They cuddled together and listened to the two friends in the playhouse talking about those things which ten-year-old boys talk about, sports, scouts, complaining about teachers, making fun of his brother, and then online games…a lot of talk about online games. Finally, Nicky said something about watching television and after a few moments, they heard the coyote and raccoon climb down the rope ladder and run towards the neighboring house. "Sooooo, that's what boys their age talk about?" Judy said as she looked up at Nick with a grin. "Well, things haven't seemed to have changed much since I was living at home with all my brothers."

"After hearing those two, do you still want children?" Nick asked in an amused tone.

"Nicky and Freddie are good kits," she answered and then paused before she added. "Most of the time."

"They may not be our children by birth, but they are just as much a part of our family as if they were."

"My mother always says it takes the whole warren to raise kits right and she would know."

The fox rolled over and looked down at her with a playful grin. "You know after hearing what Billy said, I've got a great idea."

"What's that?" Judy asked as she looked up into the fox's mischievous green eyes.

"I don't think we're leaving this bed until it's time for lunch," Nick answered before he kissed her.

"Tempting Nick, but remember you promised Jake you'd go with him to pick out Freddie's Winter's Eve present at the mall," the rabbit doe giggled

"Ah, but that isn't until this afternoon," the fox said with a slight growl as he gripped the cotton bed sheet and pulled it over them both. "We've still got all morning to ourselves."


Jake rubbed his eyes as he looked at the laptop's screen. It was the weekend and he was still working on a sales presentation for Monday. He had, however, wasted much of his morning cruising the internet instead of reviewing his notes. After a few more minutes, he looked up at the painting hanging on his office wall of his great, great, great uncle Ezekial who had once haunted the house and he could swear that the raccoon was scowling down at him for his laziness. "Yeah…yeah…yeah," he sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "Don't give me that look!"

"What look is that, Sugar?" a voice asked from the doorway and Jake glanced over to see that Marie was standing there with two mugs of steaming coffee in her paws. She had been sipping from one of the mugs but set the other one down on his desk. "I figured y'all might need another cup of coffee about now."

He reached over and pulled her down onto his lap, the chair squeaked slightly in protest, but he just smiled as she sat her mug down and wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned his muzzle up for a kiss and after a few moments she pushed herself away. "So what was the look I gave you that brought that on?" she giggled.

"Oh sorry, I was talking to old Uncle Ezekial. He was giving me that creepy look again."

"Jake, that is just a painting and he gives everyone that disapproving stare."

"I know."

"Besides, didn't you say that his ghost had left this house after you bought it?"

"Yes, at least that is what I think?

"Well if your old uncle is still floating around here, he needs to stay out of our bedroom. Can you arrest a ghost for being a Peeping Tom?"

"I doubt that and besides who are you going to call?"

"You really didn't just ask that?" Marie giggled.

"Huh?" he asked as he cocked his head in confusion.

"Who ya gonna call?" she sang out. "Ghostbusters!"

"Great, now I have that song stuck in my brain!"

"Don't forget that you promised to get Freddie's gift today."


"So tell me again, why did you pick this music store?" Nick asked as the two friends strolled through the upscale mall. "If you had told me we were going to the Prado in the Palms District, I'd worn something nicer." As they walked along, the fox shook his head at the mall's gaudy silver and gold holiday decorations, the word pretentious was stuck in his mind. This place was a far cry from the Targoat or the Wallaby-Mart stores that he and Judy frequented.

"Anything would be nicer than that old rock group tee-shirt and a pair of faded jeans," Jake scoffed. The raccoon was wearing a nice sport shirt and a pair of well starched khaki pants. "The Fur Fighters…really fox?"

"Are you sure that you know what you are looking for?" the fox challenged his friend. "I mean what do you know about guitars?"

"They are like a ukulele, only larger!" the raccoon answered as he waved his paw dismissively in the air as they approached the store.

When the two friends entered the fancy store, Jake marveled at the wall full of musical instruments. There were tubas, horns, flutes, drum sets, and a huge display of all kinds and sizes of guitars. Nick left the raccoon and stopped to leaf through a display of music, his eyes however were on the well-dressed gemsbok buck standing next to the cash register.

As the raccoon got closer to the guitars, the salesclerk just seemed to glance at him with a snobbish look of contempt. Jake however didn't notice the larger mammal's apparent disdain at first as he stood there gaping at all the guitars. After a few moments of looking around, he turned towards the gemsbok but the clerk continued ignoring him. Nick gave a small thin smile as he watched while his friend began to get mad at being so dismissed. Tapping the sheet of music in his paw, he softly hummed out, "one, two, and a one, two, three." Suddenly as if on cue, he saw that someone else had come from the backroom. It was a very pretty young skunk in a red dress. She cast a seemingly agitated glance over at the buck before she walked towards Jake and asked him if he needed assistance. The raccoon obviously could not help but admire her curves and began to tell her that he was buying a guitar for his son. "So it begins," the fox slightly sang.

As Jake began to explain what he was looking for, the tall pointy horned buck began to pay attention and now he was acting concerned that he had screwed up by treating the raccoon as if he wasn't worth his time. The skunk, on the other paw, was obviously flirting with the raccoon as she asked him about Freddie. She showed Jake an inexpensive guitar and then Nick had to grin when she proclaimed, "But as talented as your son is, I'm sure that you want to get him a much better quality guitar." Slipping her arm through Jake's she began to lead him toward the more expensive stock. "He is falling for it hook line and sinker," Nick snickered as he moved across the store towards his best friend.

"As you can see…" the skunk was telling the raccoon, who was now holding a very expensive guitar, but she paused and slightly scowled when she saw that the fox in the tee shirt and jeans was approaching them.

"Come on buddy," Nick laughed as he plucked the guitar from the raccoon's paws and handed it to the skunk. Then he grabbed Jake by the shoulder as he directed him towards the door. "It's time for us to leave, I think you've taken enough of the young lady's time." The fox actually shoved the raccoon out of the shop and down the mall.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Jake finally snarled in protest. "She was showing me some guitars!"

"She was working the Pretty Woman scam on you pal."

"What is the Pretty Woman scam?"

"It's named after an old movie that came out years ago."

"The one where the…ah, working girl, goes into the store and the salesclerks treat her like she does not belong there and then she comes back later all dressed up to prove to them that they were wrong for treating her like trash earlier?"

"Yep, that's the one. The first sales associate purposely ignored you as if you were just a low-class pred and that made you mad at him. Just when you were totally pissed and ready to leave, that cute skunk came out and flirted with you knowing that you would want to prove to her seemingly rude companion that you could afford anything you wanted in the store and that his ignoring you was a huge mistake. She even sent him to fetch that overly expensive guitar from the stockroom while she explained to you, in such glowing terms, about how it was only the best one for your son. I saw that look you gave him when he came back, it was one of satisfaction in knowing that he had missed the big commission which he could have earned if he had paid attention to you and you were ready to buy it just to teach him a lesson."

"So you kept me from dropping a small fortune on something I didn't particularly need, but I was going to buy just to prove that I could afford it and did belong there."

"Yes, it's called a hustle sweetheart!" the fox laughed out. "And you would have bought that vastly overpriced electric guitar, along with the custom case and the top end speakers, if I hadn't stopped you."

The raccoon's ears drooped as he looked at the floor. "Now what do I do? I still need a guitar for Freddie."

"Well, I know you have a friend in the music business," Nick said with a grin.

"Gazelle?"

"Don't you have her phone number?"

"You just don't call Gazelle, a musical superstar, to ask her where to buy a guitar for your kit!"

"Okay, what about calling the music teacher at the school and asking him?

A few hours later, the raccoon and fox were standing inside a much more modest-looking store in midtown. The zebra with a bright blue dyed mane and wearing a Fleetwood Yak band tee-shirt was leaning on an old glass case as he asked. "Well, what kind are you looking for? We have twenty different types including steel-string acoustic, classical, flamenco, resonator, electric, Stratocaster, seven-string, ten-string…"

"Oh gods!" the raccoon whimpered as he stood there with his ears flat and his tail tucked between his legs. "I just want a guitar for my son."


The Pretty Woman scam does exist and is named after the 1990 romantic comedy called Pretty Woman.