After a brief introduction the interviewer pressed record on her phone, placing it in front of Rory.
"So, Rory, on the record, do you confirm that you are in fact struggling with mental health issues?" the middle-aged woman asked.
"I've been diagnosed with depression, yes," she replied, not wanting to go into too much detail on the exact diagnosis, especially since they had varied.
"So what is it like?" she continued.
"It's irrational. I have everything I could want in my life, yet there are moments I've struggled to enjoy it, bad news hit me harder than they should've, things that should've come easily didn't necessarily," she explained. "It takes an extra effort to keep track of your train of thought to note any fallacies - I now at least know how to do it."
"You're life seems so perfect to a lot of people, some have even said you couldn't possibly have any reason to be unhappy, unless of course there is something?" she asked.
"Define perfect, I think already that depends a great deal on who we are speaking about. In my case I have the man of my dreams and my lovely daughter, a wonderful family. I am lucky to be able to do what I want to do, however I've not always had those things. I struggled for years to find my right career-path for example. I was convinced I needed to become a reporter and I did okay I guess, it was writing my first book that made me realize that there were actually things I could do that came even more naturally. And I guess just like anybody else, I can be unhappy when the yellow press lies about things that are important to me, or about a crazy work schedule, mine or Logan's or just a cranky toddler," she joked. "But being unhappy doesn't equal depression. Depression is a mood disorder, a chemical imbalance. It doesn't differentiate between status, race or occupation, and when it hits it's devastating and not just for the person suffering from it, but also the people around," Rory added.
"If you look back, can you pinpoint the time when you first realized you were depressed," she asked.
"Consciously I think it was when I realized reality and my emotions didn't match," she replied generally.
"Anything specific you'd be willing to share?" the woman inquired further.
"That is something people will just have to wait and read about in my book," Rory suggested strategically.
"How did you get help?" she continued.
"I was lucky in that sense that I have friends who knew people who could help, and I got help fast. The process wasn't linear and I've had set-backs, I guess the important thing to remember is that there is no fast cure. It's a process. And this is also the reason why I find it exceptionally unfair that not everybody has the same possibilities to get help. There are people who cannot afford to wait or cannot afford to pay for help privately, there are also those who need special solutions such as at home visits or sessions via electronic platforms. This is why I've decided that the proceedings from this book will go to a foundation that offers help to those who need it. Also our wedding has a donate-as-gift policy," she explained. She hadn't told Mitchum that and he might be moderately upset even, but she figured, after having discussed it with Logan and Maxwell that Mitchum wouldn't back down from something that could do the company a great deal of good. Besides, Logan had offered to help, if it came to it. Writing this book was more important than actually earning from it.
After a few more questions, rather about the relationships between her and Logan than her mental health, unsurprisingly, the reporter turned the recording off and thanked her. Rory breathed a little easier. Now there was no turning back.
Rory's schedule between her book, Leah, research and wedding planning, was beginning to look a little like it had been in the fall, but Honor had in fact begged and she and Paris now waited for her in front of the newly opened Baby Gear World.
"Rory, I need to tell you something," Paris began.
"What? Everything okay?" she asked. It wasn't often positive statements that followed something sounding so careful.
"We got engaged," Paris stated, showing her the ring.
"Paris? For real?" she gasped. "Congratulations, that's amazing!" she added, hugging her friend.
"I know it's a little fast, but it just felt right in the moment," Paris replied.
"Whichever timeline works," Rory commented, knowing too well how something like this was so typical Finn. Also she enjoyed seeing Paris being pushed just a little out of her comfort zone.
"I still have a hard time believing it myself, and we haven't even discussed where we're going to live or set a date or anything really. It's a little vague frankly," Paris said, feeling somewhat irresponsible by accepting his ring without taking care of a checklist first.
"Well I am sure you have plenty of time to talk things out, there's no rush right?" she suggested.
"I guess," she stated.
"Did you tell the kids yet?" Rory asked.
"Not yet," Paris replied. They hadn't told anybody else yet, even not their parents.
"Sorry you guys, I'm late, I know, I realized most of my old clothes don't fit me anymore and I had hard time finding what to wear," Honor announced, nevertheless wearing a notably pricy designer outfit.
"It's fine," Rory said, "Honor, you remember Paris, right? She's kind of an expert at this, well at least she was when I was pregnant, so I asked her to tag along," she added.
"Good to see you, Paris, I can use all the help I can get," Honor said.
Two minutes later the three realized that they'd been out of this game for far too long to have a grasp on things. Paris had been the babygear queen a couple of years ago, but as her kids had grown and she'd hired another consultant to her company to deal with that side of the business, so even she'd lost touch.
"I thought you'd have a personal shopper for this?" Paris stated.
"I could, but I remember this being so much fun, but then again I was not this mindblown by all the new stuff," Honor replied.
"I guess Rory should probably recall it best, what are actually the things you would need and want, rather than what someone who probably just shops for living and has never even so much as seen a alive baby," Paris added, reflecting on the reality with some of the personal shoppers she'd encountered in her line of work.
"I pretty much got everything you told me to, plus the stuff I got for the baby shower," Rory replied.
"Well I still remember the good brands at least, and I guess the basics are still the same," Paris replied, gathering herself. She moved around a couple of strollers, testing their suspension.
"Oh my, look how cute this is," Honor exclaimed over a round Stokke crib in dark cherry color.
"And just look, they've got a matching outfit," Rory placed a set of onesies in cherry pattern on to the crib.
"Hey, come and look at this," Paris called from across the room, having apparently found a stroller worthy of mention.
The shop assistant looked hesitantly at the three browsing loudly and opinionatedly through the shop, testing out all the vital functions and durability of half the things in the store. It was clear the three wanted no assistance and by the look of the car and Honor's designer wardrobe, it seemed far too dangerous to bud in after offering once and being declined.
Honor did leave the store with a mountain of gear. She'd gotten two strollers, one to use at home, and another to keep in the car as a travel system, and was considering ordering a third so she'd be able to go jogging. She was nowhere near the health buff Logan was but at least that was what her pregnancy brain had convinced her of. She had gone a little crazy when it came to girliness of the items she bought - pinks and purples dominated, having grown tired of the blues and neutrals with her first two boys.
"Are you in a hurry?" Rory asked Paris just as Honor had driven off.
"Not terribly," she replied. She was just going to catch up with Finn for dinner, but she still had some time to spare.
"Listen, I was wondering, could you tell me professionally, maybe you know, before I go asking Cara or my OB, how likely is it really to have PPD more than once?"
"Rory, are you…?" Paris asked,
"No, I'm not," she replied, but the day in the midst of all that cuteness certainly had raised the question.
"Well it's definitely an increased risk, roughly speaking 30-50% likelihood," she replied, pausing for a moment. "I'm sorry if it's not what you hoped to hear…," she said apologetically.
"I sort of figured, just hadn't gotten around to looking into it before," she replied.
Now the question was - how badly did she want this. On the positive note she did know how to deal with this, and continuing everything she was already doing, was the easy part. But going through what she had gone through with Leah was not something she hoped to repeat. She'd learned to love her, but for once she wanted something to happen effortlessly.
"Hello, Love," he greeted, noticing Paris walk into the restaurant they'd agreed to meet at, giving her a kiss. The kiss was a little more sensual, yearning, that appropriate, and they backed down slightly flushed and a little self conscious of how carried away they'd gotten. Ever since Morocco, and despite Finn's cast, they'd been almost like newlyweds.
"God, I feel like a teenager," Finn laughed, taking a seat.
"I told Rory," she stated, knowing she needed to shift topics or they'd simply skip out on dinner in favor of a hotel room somewhere. She was starving.
"Good, did she take it alright?" he asked.
"Yes, she was fine, she sends her greetings," Paris said.
"I was actually thinking about where we're going to live after the wedding," Finn said. By keeping things a little vague Finn hadn't even stopped to think what it meant in practical terms until recently. He'd wanted nothing other more than to slip that ring to Paris' finger. However it was only days later that he realized that he'd probably have to sell his own house that he loved so much as a result. Two bedrooms were not enough to accomodate Paris, her two kids and their half live-in nanny. Plus there was Leah to consider.
"My place isn't big enough to really accommodate Leah either, plus the kids will soon want their own rooms too," Paris sighed.
"So there are two house to sell and one to buy," Finn concluded plainly.
"What are you thinking for the time frame?" Paris hesitated. She didn't want to be the one to pull the breaks on this, she loved and was in love, and wanted nothing more than to be with him, but the person who Paris was was certainly one who needed certainty, deadlines and clarity.
"Honestly, I am fine either way. I do feel like I may have pushed you into this a little," he replied apologetically.
"You didn't. I know spontaneity is not something that I do often, but it felt right," she began, placing her hand on top of his on the table, "But once we do sort out the situation with the house, and of course tell everybody who needs to know, I don't really see any point in delaying it for long," she added somewhat even to her own surprise.
"I guess it depends largely on the kids, how they will take it," he commented, worrying about two somewhat opinionated 6-year olds.
"Now you're getting it," Paris replied, smugly.
"Damn, service here really does take ages," Finn muttered. "How about we just go and check in to the Marriott across the street and order room service?" Finn suggested, feeling he couldn't just sit still staring at that wonderful creature across the table and keeping his hands off her.
