*Gasp* We've arrived at the sex number. Everyone panic.
Anyways, without further ado and all...
Chapter 69: An Awfully Cruel Fate
Naruto had never really thought of himself as all that bad at sitting still.
That was to say when he was taking things seriously. Sure, he was hyperactive and clumsy, a veritable mess of a human being on occasion, but…
He was a ninja for gods sake, he could walk on water, or run up walls! He could throw a kunai through two boards placed only two inches apart from fifteen meters and hit a target only four inches wide!
Which was perhaps why he was so frustrated as he sat atop a stone board, trying to keep himself as steady as possible as he hovered precariously a good fifty meters above the ground.
Oh, he wouldn't die if he fell, he'd already figured that one out the hard way; but it certainly wouldn't feel great either, and the last time it'd happened, the Nine-Tails had bailed him out, which was a nice way of saying it had briefly taken control of his body. At which point his secondary Sensei, who was apparently Jiraiya's sensei despite being a toad, had beaten the utter tar out of his body.
He still had some of the welts.
And it'd been a month.
He wondered how it was he was still balanced atop the pillar, and then, as if on cue, he felt his balance begin to slip.
"Whoa!" He let out subconsciously, trying to no avail to regain his center of gravity. "Shiiiiii-!"
Just as he was about to fall, a tongue wrapped around his mid-section, pulling him up and away from the stone board, which careened into the valley below them, shattering on the ground.
"That was awfully close."
He looked guiltily towards the toad-man who'd sort of been mentoring him, Fukasaku, and let out a sigh. Beside him, another toad, this one probably just a simple worker, had his tongue extended, and it was currently the only thing suspending Naruto above oblivion.
"Hey, geezer sage."
"You know you're only supposed to be training during the daylight hours, correct?"
He averted his gaze.
"And the last time you trained past your allotted time, you fell into the valley, and I had to beat the Nine-Tails out of you the hard way?"
He sweat-dropped, looking down at the valley below him in an effort to look at anything but his current teacher. Unfortunately, he got vertigo as he stared down at the ground, and decided to simply close his eyes, considering his sight itself an enemy.
"M-maybe…"
"Were you looking for a second round of that?" A loud cracking noise erupted from above him, and Naruto had the sneaking suspicion that probably belonged to the old toad's paper fan, which he used to beat Natural Chakra out of him.
It was rather effective at beating out regular teenage rebellion as well, it turned out.
"Because that can be arranged."
He turned around, well, more like he flailed wildly until Fukasaku had his toad turn him around, but when he did, he held his hands in front of him, shaking them back in forth in as clear a 'spare me' gesture as he could muster.
"I-I'm sorry!" He shouted. "But… I haven't been getting any better! I've been studying this crappy Sage Jutsu for seven months, and I've barely made any progress!"
He wasn't sure what about that statement earned a hit of the old geezer's fan, but he made a mental note to make this damned toad pay some day when he was a lot stronger.
"And you think the ability to retain Natural Chakra, mold it into your basic abilities, is 'barely making any progress"?"
He glared at the toad.
"Yeah."
The older man guffawed, motioning for his helper to pull him up onto the platform the two were stood upon. Once the other had done so, he bowed to Fukasaku, before departing.
"Child, I have no shame in admitting that, when you first came here, I assumed you'd be a stone statue by the end of the week."
He glared much, much more fiercely.
"But you've surpassed my expectations, just as you have everyone else's, from what Jiraiya tells me." He began walking back towards his and his wife's house. "Now come. We've got grub on the stove."
"You mean you've quite literally got grub on the stove." Naruto winced, remembering his first 'dinner' here at Mt. Myoboku. "You've cooked bugs and other disgusting things together into something that vaguely, vaguely counts as a stew."
Fukasaku gave him a wry look from over his shoulder.
"I saw you eating it last time."
He swore under his breath.
He couldn't admit it, not to the toad before him, not to Jiraiya, and certainly not to his friends back in the Leaf Village, who he hadn't seen for a few months…
But he'd kind of grown used to the toad-styled meals.
…No one could know.
"I'll keep it to myself?" The geezer offered.
"Appreciated." He let out with a horrid breath.
/-/
"We're going back to the Leaf?"
"That's what Tsunade said." Jiraiya shrugged. "She requested your whole squad, which means Sakura, Anko, and that Tenzo guy should be returning as well. Not quite sure where they've been at, but she got the message to them… somehow."
He decided not to ask.
"When are we leaving?"
"Right now." Jiraiya pointed behind him, where Fukasaku's wife, a toad who'd been nothing but kind to him in a grandmotherly way (or, well, he assumed that was what people meant when they said that, he didn't know) was jotting a summoning symbol down onto the ground. "Mama's sending us back."
"You call her mama?"
Jiraiya grabbed him by the scrap of his neck.
"Never mention that to anyone."
He understood that feeling more than the man in front of him knew. He would've stayed quiet even without the intimidation.
"Gotcha."
They loaded themselves onto the small spot, waved goodbye to the toads and other animals scattered throughout the small clearing (it was mostly toads, but he could've sworn there was a single frog off in the back there who was doing a really good job of blending in) and just like that, they were unsummoned away.
/-/
They didn't quite arrive at the village, but they did manage to get pretty close. He could see the Hokage Monument on the horizon, looking like it was about two or three kilometers away.
Jiraiya gestured him forward, and he followed behind without much fuss.
"So," His giant of a teacher began with a mocking expression. "I hear Sasuke was the first of you to actually make Jonin?"
He shuddered slightly.
"Please don't…"
Jiraiya barked out a laugh, slapping him lightly on the back.
"All that bravado about not losing to those two,"
"Shut up…"
"And you go and get outpaced by edgelord. I'm almost impressed."
"Please." Naruto had no energy to fight against the man's words, slumping as he walked along beside him. "I already got enough shit from the man himself; I don't need you adding onto that."
Jiraiya snickered but relented.
"Yeah, personally, being on a team with Orochimaru of all people was much the same." He nodded towards the gate, which had only just entered into view. "You'd do something cool, only to discover you've been outclassed just as quickly. It got old, quick, but… despite it all, I never hated the guy."
Left unsaid was that Orochimaru clearly hadn't shared that emotion. Naruto didn't exactly feel like opening that can of worms, either, and so he left that where it was, changing topics entirely.
"How's your new book coming along?"
Jiraiya cocked an eyebrow at him.
"What, did Kakashi pay you to ask that?"
"Seven hundred yen, yeah." He admitted, shaking his wallet from inside his coat. "Last time he contacted me there was money in the parchment, and hell, if he's willing to bribe me, I'm willing to accept it."
"Seven hundred?" Jiraiya scoffed. "Cheapskate."
"Yeah, well, we can't all subsist off of writing crappy best-selling porn novels."
"Hey, they're erotic-"
"Please," He held his hands together in front of him, actually begging. "Please don't explain."
Jiraiya let out a groan, but relented, shaking his head.
Their trip from there to the Hokage's office took another twenty or so minutes, during which time he managed to evade any of Jiraiya's attempts to inform him about how his books were 'cultured' and 'well researched'.
He didn't doubt that last one, he'd seen the man's 'research' first hand.
He yawned as he stepped into Tsunade's office. There behind her, her ever faithful aid, was Shizune, and in front of her desk, looking back at him with a smile, was Sasuke.
He offered his fist out, and his best friend bumped it with his own.
"Good to see you." Naruto offered simply.
"Likewise."
They waited for a while, chatting about incessant things of little value, until at last the door behind them creaked open, and Sakura and Anko walked in. Tenzo made an appearance for a few seconds, before he asked if he was needed and, seeing that he wasn't, left the premises.
"First of all," Tsunade opened. "I'd like to ask how each of your trainings are going."
She gestured to Sasuke first.
"It's going well enough." The boy nodded, shrugging. "After making Jonin-"
Both he and Sakura hissed at the man's smug smile.
"-I've mostly been focusing on adding my Kenjutsu to my active arsenal. I didn't really use it during my trip to the Sand a few months back, on account of not feeling terribly confident in my abilities. Now… I think I'm finally to the point where I can use it in real combat."
Tsunade nodded, turning now to Naruto.
"My Sage training is…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, it's going. Not particularly well… but it's going."
Tsunade gestured for him to continue, and he sighed.
"I picked up the ability to gather and mold Natural Chakra, but on its own, that's not good enough. I need to be able to retain it for a longer period of time, because right now, I can only really use the power it grants me for ten or so seconds. Which is uh… not a lot."
Tsunade nodded, turning finally to Sakura.
"I made a breakthrough."
Naruto's eyebrows rose, as did Sasuke's and Jiraiya's.
"I haven't quite managed to figure out everything… But I might just be able to use the Wood Style offensively." She smiled, clenching her fist. "I can't use it without my evolved state, but that's a small price to pay. Tenzo said I might be able to progress to larger, more intricate usages here soon."
Tsunade nodded, shooting the girl a proud expression.
"Well done, all three of you."
Naruto grumbled slightly under his breath, but didn't say anything further.
It wasn't like him to be feeling jealous, especially of people so close to him. Honestly, there'd been days when he was younger where he'd loved Sakura and Sasuke more than he'd loved himself. Though, well, that wasn't saying much.
He didn't really know the name of the feeling when he'd been a kid, but he'd been pretty heavily deppressed all that time ago. It'd taken over a year of interacting with them and talking with them for him to really come out of that.
He liked to think it helped that both of them had their own demons to work through. He could never afford to show any of his weaknesses to either of them. Honestly, he'd never felt like he deserved to. Sasuke's entire family had been killed in front of him, how could him being sad about not being paid attention to possibly measure up?
It was a stupid thing to think, but he'd been ten at the time, roughly, so he felt he could be forgiven for that.
His friends looked out for him as much as he did for them, and that was a fact. They would've helped him… had he let them.
But no, he had a tendency to bottle up his insecurities, or to take them out on people who didn't really deserve them. He sighed, tuning back into the conversation at hand as Tsunade gave a rough breakdown of why she'd brought them back.
He'd… well, he'd missed the entire opening, but from what she was saying…
"And that's why we, the Hokage and Kazekage, have decided to form an elite taskforce, one whose sole mission is to counteract the Akatsuki wherever they may appear."
Okay, so apparently he'd missed more than he'd thought.
He raised his hand, and Tsunade nodded towards him.
"Yeah, uh, can you repeat everything from… Good job you three?"
Tsunade let out a titanic sigh, before continuing as if he hadn't interrupted at all.
"As I was saying, She and her council have assembled their own squad, and we will be assembling one of our own." She raised a hand, and the door at the back of the room opened. "This squadron will be headed by one of our best."
They turned, and the grin that came to Naruto's face was almost instant.
"Kakashi Hatake."
The masked man waved lazily.
"Yo."
"That's where the rest of you come in, well, minus Jiraiya, I can't get him to leave."
Jiraiya held up a 'peace' sign.
"Kakashi Hatake, Anko Mitarashi, Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Naruto Uzumaki," She looked up at them all. "You five, along with five other ninja from the Hidden Leaf, will make up our side of the Akatsuki Assault Force."
Though Naruto found himself quite shocked he'd be selected for this sort of thing, it was actually Sasuke who immediately raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"Two questions." Sasuke made clear off the bat. "One, why would Naruto be selected for a force whose sole mission is to hunt down the Akatsuki?"
"Naruto, despite what he may be, a Jinchuuriki, is one of our most powerful ninja. More importantly, however, the three of you have arguably the most combat experience against the Akatsuki of anyone still alive on the continent to date."
Sasuke didn't quite seem to buy that. Tsunade simply sighed at that.
"And, I will admit, I have a bit more faith in the three of you than I perhaps should."
Sasuke nodded.
"Question two, who are the other five members of our squadron? Shouldn't they be here?"
"The other five members will work on a revolving door basis." The Hokage explained. "They will switch and change depending on the mission, mission objectives, and mission location. For example, if we had a mission specializing in espionage, then we would perhaps send Fu or Torune from Root. If we had a mission that required brute force, we'd send Choza or Jiraiya."
Sasuke's expression showed he was impressed with the idea, and Naruto couldn't help agreeing with him. It was a good idea, but, at the same time, it did come with some drawbacks.
Namely, they'd likely never have the time to fully synch up with their teammates, which meant they'd be utilizing raw ability over planning and execution. Naruto didn't mind that much himself, but he wondered how someone like Shikaku Nara, were he placed on their team, would function alongside them.
"That was my first piece of news," Tsunade smirked, evidently holding within her heart a funny piece of news just for herself. "The second is something a bit more… interesting. First, Sakura."
Sakura stepped forward a bit hesitantly.
"We're sending you and Anko out on a preliminary scan of the nearby forests, up to and including the destroyed Sound Village."
The girl nodded.
"Why's that?"
"You're completing Sasuke's mission that they weren't able to finish last time." Shizune explained. "We picked a poor time to issue it, what with the snow on the ground everywhere covering and obscuring a lot of entrenched bases."
"You'll be looking for remnants of Orochimaru's bases." She explained. "Your goal is to try and track down a rogue element we believe is still acting out of one of them. A team of sorts, or perhaps only a few members. We believe they're tied to Orochimaru."
"Added onto that," Shizune pointed towards Sakura. "You'll be leading this investigation. Anko will be a secondary support."
Sakura's eyes widened.
"Why? I'm far less experienced with-"
"That's why." Tsunade snorted. "How do you think you get experience, kid? You think any of us popped out of the womb as trusted Jonin?"
Sakura slumped somewhat.
"No."
"Then accept the fact that you're getting that experience right here and now."
Sakura gave a quick hum of understanding, before Tsunade turned to Sasuke.
"The same goes for you, Sasuke." Tsunade began. "You also require leadership experience, in fact, the only one of you who doesn't is Naruto, and only because we've given him plenty."
"Why would the two of us need those skills?" Sasuke questioned. "Naruto is our leader, we both pretty much accepted that a long time ago."
Naruto blushed slightly, covering his cheeks from the others.
"Yes, but what about when you three are separated, or leading your own individual missions?" The Hokage questioned. "What if you're forced to lead a squad as a Jonin, something that, I will confess, I plan to have the three of you do quite often once your abilities and skills have been sufficiently tested?"
Sasuke shrugged, conceding the point.
"But at the same time, sending you out on a mission with Yugao and Hayate wouldn't really do much for you. After all, you've already shown, at least partially, that you can lead people with similar skill levels to you. You did, after all, lead a team of Genin, whose skills all hovered around your own, in a search for Orochimaru's bases last winter."
Sasuke nodded, seemingly wondering where this was going.
"That's why I intend for you to practice leading people far below your station."
She brought out a document and placed it directly in front of Sasuke. She opened the manilla folder and let him read it. From the way Sasuke's eyes widened, and his face paled, Naruto couldn't help thinking it must be some cruel training…
"You… want me to…"
"Yes." Tsunade smirked. "I want you to be a Jonin Sensei to a team of Genin."
Sasuke's entire world seemed to crumble around him at those words. He took a step back, then a step forward, and might have done a spin somewhere in there before he looked up at Tsunade with an incredulous expression.
"Gesundheit." Was the only word out of his mouth.
Shizune snorted quietly, whereas Tsunade only smiled.
"I'm serious."
Sasuke looked to the sky, seemingly seeking answers from it despite the fact that he was really staring at a ceiling only five or so feet above his head.
Rather unsurprisingly, he found no answers there.
"Y'know," Naruto smiled, wrapping an arm around Sasuke's neck and smiling as smugly as he could possibly manage right in the boys face. "I think this is perfect for you. I mean, you did make Jonin before either of us, so that means you must be the best of us as well." He didn't miss the death glare Sasuke shot him out of the corner of his eye. Far from it, it only fueled him. "It's only fitting that you be given a few new duties to go along with that, right?"
Sakura smirked as well, though she hid it behind her fist, pretending to stifle a cough.
Sasuke seemed to disagree with him. He fell to his knees, and held a hand up to the sky, as if pleading with a higher power. When he received no answer, he allowed his arm to fall just beside him, his body going almost entirely limp.
"The gods are dead."
/-/
Sasuke had to be honest; it was more than a little weird to return to his old academy.
Not because there were new children wandering the halls, or any such nonsense. Not even because the instructors had, at least a few of them, come and gone, replaced by fresh faces with bright smiles.
It was actually because everything was so horribly small.
The desk he was stood before had, apparently, been his when he'd been younger. Yet the thing looked like it was, at most, a foot across, and could've sat no more than a squirrel, perhaps an otter, if one was being generous. How the hell it'd managed to fit him, when he didn't really feel like he'd gotten all that much bigger since he was a child, was an entirely separate thing.
He was busy placing his arm against it, trying to measure just how large it was, when a voice called out to him.
"Sasuke?"
He jumped up, awkwardly letting his brain return to reality as he looked up at Iruka. The man was giving him a genial look, as if both confused as to what he'd been doing and also happy enough to see him that he'd ignore it.
"Honestly, I must admit, I'm a bit surprised to see you here. You were the last person I'd have expected to get into teaching."
The man was correct; he'd been backstabbed.
"So, you've been assigned to… ah, those three, huh?"
He didn't like the sound of that.
Not at all.
"Alright, you're assigned to Team 9, so you'll be called near the end. You can select where you'd like to take your team if you'd like?"
He thought about that for a moment, before a rather obvious location came to him.
"I'll take the rooftop, if it's available."
Iruka nodded, likely seeing the similarities between Kakashi's choice and his own. He wrote that down on a sheet of paper, and then ushered him back.
He entered into what he could only assume was the faculty lounge, and oh gods, he was faculty now. The few people inside, well, the ten people inside, were all much older and more experienced than him. He didn't know… well, any of them, actually.
Wait, no, I know that guy in the black glasses.
Said man walked over to him, seemingly inspecting him.
He wasn't quite sure why, maybe it was the stern frown or the drawn down eyebrows, but he didn't think the man liked him very much at all.
"So, this is the guy, huh?"
"This is Sasuke Uchiha." Iruka confirmed, gesturing for him to come forward. "Sasuke, this is Ebisu. He'll be assisting you in the teaching of your Genin class."
"Yes…" The man's frown only deepened as he reached across and shook Sasuke's hand. "'Assisting'"
Sasuke felt, were he a more uncertain person in general, he may've laughed nervously there. As it was, he didn't laugh, mostly because this was hardly funny.
It seemed Ebisu here was already holding a grudge against him, perhaps due to his lack of experience, or perhaps due to the fact that he'd have to work with someone as inexperienced as he was.
He didn't ask, though, so unless the man was planning on being forthright with his insecurities, Sasuke would likely never know.
"Alright. I've got to go and finish my class, the rest of you, feel free to come to the classroom, you'll be standing behind me and waiting until we've finished."
They all nodded, though a few of the Jonin certainly looked at him a bit oddly. He understood, he was sixteen, barely a Jonin at all.
This really shouldn't have been his job.
Even still, he followed along behind Iruka as he led them into the classroom. A good thirty or so students looked at them as they funneled in, and luckily, they were young enough that he didn't feel any real nerves from their gazes.
"Well then, class." Iruka began, shuffling some papers on his desk into order. "I suppose this is it."
The man gave a rather similar display as he'd given them, way back when. He went over the classes clowns and achievers, its most improved and its hardest workers. It was all a positive show, meant for the students to laugh and feel good about themselves as they stepped out into the world for the first time.
"Well then, I'll start by calling out the teams of three you'll be divided into, and your Jonin Sensei's, seen behind me."
There were several 'ooh's' and 'ah's' as the assembled children looked over them, and even he couldn't deny he puffed his chest out a little as a few kids whispered about how he 'looked so cool'.
Turns out even I'm not immune to praise.
They filtered out quickly, four at a time. Lastly, when there were only six students left, and Team 9 was about to be called, he looked towards the students to see who he'd be given.
There was a group of, seemingly, quiet and ineffectual kids. They looked simple enough, certainly not troublemakers. The kinds of kids he'd want to teach if given the option. On the other hand, the band of two boys and one girl left looked… well, they looked like the kinds of kids who threw rocks from the top of the playground at passersby.
He wanted nothing to do with them, which was why he wasn't even a little surprised when, as Iruka began to call out the names for his team, those three were the ones who stood.
"Konohamaru Sarutobi, Udon Ise, and Moegi Kazamatsuri. You three will form Team 9…"
Great. Sasuke sighed. I get the troublemakers.
"Led by Sasuke Uchiha."
/-/
The rooftop was windy.
He held no further opinions about it.
"Well then…" He began awkwardly, trying to remember back to how Kakashi had done this, and then remembering that Kakashi had been about as far from an ideal teacher as one could get.
Even still, his icebreaker was probably a good start.
"Why don't you all tell me some of your likes and dislikes, and perhaps your dream as well?" He offered, gauging their responses, and the response of Ebisu, who nodded out of the corner of his eye.
One point for him, then. At least Ebisu seemed… accepting.
"I'll start for you." He cleared his throat. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I'm a Jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village. I like tomatoes, and the people close to me. I don't particularly dislike anything, I'd say, but if I had to pick anything… I suppose I'd choose when my ramen gets soggy when it sits for too long."
He'd gone with a joke, hoping to get a small laugh out of at least one of the children before him.
No one laughed.
Not a peep from even one.
Ebisu didn't even laugh.
Ah… I want to die…
"And uhm… my dream is to become a powerful ninja, and live out my life in the Leaf Village in peace."
"Hey, teach?"
It was Konohamaru, and he nodded towards him.
"I thought you were the last Uchiha. Wasn't your entire family killed by your brother or something?"
He cringed slightly at that particular call out.
"Yes."
"Then why didn't you say your brother when listing the things you dislike?"
Why didn't I indeed, Konohamaru. Why, it's almost like I was being a tad bit facetious with how I actually am as a person.
"I didn't want to bring up something so depressing." He answered instead. "It tends to bring down the mood."
Konohamaru huffed slightly but went back to staring down at the ground below him.
The three children in front of him, the sniffling Udon, the confident Moegi, and the dreary Konohamaru, looked to each other, and each shrugged.
Maybe this won't be so difficult?
"Uhm, I'm Udon Ise." The sniffly kid opened. "I like my friends, and I like my mom and dad… other than that, I don't really like much… oh, uhm, I don't dislike anything either… My dream is… I don't know, I never really thought about it. I guess I'd want to be a strong ninja."
That was fine, more than fine, even. It wasn't exactly as telling as what he and Naruto had perhaps said, that they wanted to avenge their clan or become Hokage respectively, but it was enough for him to get a general idea of the kids personality. Quiet and ineffectual, yet probably not too much of a problem. Seemed to maybe have some confidence issues if his manner of speech was anything to go by. He filed that down in his brain somewhere and turned to Moegi.
"I'm Moegi Kazamatsuri." The girl stood up, hands on her hips. "I like my friends, and I don't like mean bullies! I especially hate those guys from the Sound Village who invaded us!"
He could see how that would be the case, though he wasn't quite sure why Konohamaru flinched at the girls words.
"My dream is to become the strongest Kunoichi ever!"
He nodded once more, finding a small smile on his face. That dream, at least, sounded pretty familiar.
"I'm Konohamaru Sarutobi."
That name struck him almost immediately. He wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed it before, but perhaps having hid mind already on the invasion of the Sound Village had led him to the connection.
His was the name of the Third Hokage as well.
Ah, He connected the dots laid out for him. That'd be why Moegi hates them so much.
"I like my friends I guess… and I dislike a lot of things. My dream… or my goal…"
He bit down on the side of his cheek, already knowing what the boy was going to say.
Great, just my luck.
"Is to kill Orochimaru… and take revenge for my grandfather!"
It's a mini-me.
End Chapter 69
Heyo!
Welp, North America bombs out of another World Championship, and TSM had the nerve to actually lose all six of their games.
Bjergsen put it best: Embarrassing...
Sucks. Guess its back to rooting for Europe to do well. I think I'll pick Fnatic this year, since I'm pretty sure they've got no chance. Rekkles is just too likable man.
Anyways, enough nerdy ass league talk, in regards to this chapter, I think a lot of what is being set up here is pretty humorous. I don't have much to say other than that, but this is the beginning of the next arc, one that should be... decent in length? I don't know yet, but we'll see.
Anyways, see you all next week!
