November 10

The light shone through the bedroom window this morning as I sat in front of the mirror combing my hair. I had just gotten dressed for the day and prior to that Inuyasha and I had breakfast together. At that time I wasn't sure what the day would hold for us yet. I didn't have any plans for this particular day, but as long as I spent it with him I would be happy.

Finally, I stood up and exited the room. However, when I found my husband, he was sitting on the floor in the main room looking kind of down.

Suddenly concerned, I went over and sat next to him. "What's wrong, love?"

"It's...it's nothing, Kagome."

Of course, I knew it was more than he was letting on. He wouldn't be sitting here looking so sad if it wasn't. "Looks like a whole lot of something to be nothing." I put her hand on his. "You know you can tell me, right?"

Inuyasha glanced up at me and his face softened. As much as Inuyasha tried to not be vulnerable, I was glad that my presence always had such a calming effect on him.

"Today is my mother's birthday," he finally admitted.

"Oh," I said, understanding now why he was sad. I put my arms around him to comfort him. He rested his head on my shoulder. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"I usually try to go to her grave every year," he said softly. "If you want to...maybe you could come with me."

I kissed the top of his head. "I would love to, Yasha."

He sat up and the smile on his face was relieved. I'm not sure why he thought I would be against this, but he seemed to be a lot more at ease now.

Once we left the house I got onto Inuyasha's back to go to his mother's grave. He didn't say much on the way and I didn't try to make him make conversation. I know Inuyasha loved his mother very much and today of all days would be when he missed her the most.

First, we stopped at a garden where there were still some flowers left at this time of year. I got off his back and we went over to pick some. Inuyasha bent down next to some of the lilies. "These were her favorites."

"Somehow I had a feeling they would be."

We each picked a few flowers and then I got on his back as we continued on. Down a hill, I could see a village. It was pretty big and looked quite affluent from what I could see from here.

"That's where we used to live," Inuyasha said when he noticed me looking.

"Oh really?"

"Bunch of assholes there. It was a long time ago but I don't have many fond memories of the people there."

"I understand." Based on what he had told me before, I could only imagine that most of the people there weren't very accepting of him.

A few miles out from the village, we approached a big oak tree where most of the leaves had fallen around it. Inuyasha put me on my feet and we walked toward it where the gravestone sat in front of it.

"Hey mother," Inuyasha said. "It's been a long time."

We bent down in front of it and laid our flowers at the base of the grave. I said one of the prayers I'd learned as a miko over her grave so that she would continue to rest peacefully and we were silent for a few minutes.

"Inuyasha?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I was wondering...you've never told me very much about your mother before. What was she like?" As soon as I said it I realized how stupid I was. It might make him even sadder to remember. "I mean if you don't want to tell me you don't have to…"

Inuyasha put his hand on mine. "I don't mind telling you, Kagome. After all, I know your mom so well and you never got to meet mine."

I smiled, relieved that I hadn't upset him. "I've always wondered about her."

"Where do I even begin? She was the nicest mother I could ever ask for. I wasn't exactly the easiest kid, I guess - I was always getting into things and jumping onto the roof and stuff - but she never yelled or got mad about anything."

I giggled at the thought of Inuyasha as a little kid getting into things he wasn't supposed to. Somehow I wasn't surprised.

"She was a really good artist and she played the flute. Our house was covered in the paintings she had done. She told a lot of good stories; I always had a bedtime story before I went to sleep every night. I never went to school; I guess she figured she didn't want me to face any scrutiny there, so she taught me herself. She was really smart though, so I was probably way ahead of those other kids anyway."

I squeezed his hand as I pictured all of this. "She sounds like a wonderful mother."

"She was always really protective of me. For a long time, I didn't even know that I was different. I still remember the exact moment I realized it though."

"When was that?"

"I was maybe four or five. Some of the villagers called me a half breed. I had no idea what it was so I ran to her and I asked her. All she did was hug me…she cried for me. She knew what things would be like for me and she'd tried her hardest to protect me but she always knew that one day I would find out."

"I'm sure things were hard after that," I said.

"I certainly became more aware of the way people felt about me and as a kid, it bothered me sometimes. But my mother still tried to protect me and she told me that people just don't understand things that are different. She always told me to always stay true to myself and to always be kind." Inuyasha sighed. "I guess I kind of forgot that after a while. When I was on my own I quickly realized that you can't survive with kindness. Or at least, that's what I thought back then."

"You did what you had to do," I said. "You had to survive. You didn't know any other way back then."

He nodded in agreement. "You're right. I didn't learn any better until I met you."

I kissed his cheek in response.

"But when she died, I was completely alone and I didn't know what to do."

"How...how did she…?"

He knew what I was getting at before I finished. "She got sick. I was seven. I took care of her the best I could. The physician came in to look at her but the medicine he gave her didn't work. The last thing she said to me was 'I'll always be by your side, Inuyasha.'"

I could hear him getting choked up as he spoke. I hugged him tightly.

"They buried her here and they had no reason to keep me around anymore so I, a seven-year-old child, was thrown out of the village and told to fend for myself." The anger spiked in his voice as he spoke. "Humans didn't want me around so no one would take me in anywhere. Demons thought I was a freak and were always trying to kill me or eat me. So I lived by myself for all those years."

I was incredulous and also angered by it. It was awful that no one could have found it in their heart to take care of him. "Sesshomaru couldn't have taken you in?"

Inuyasha gave a dry laugh. "That's a joke. The first time I saw Sesshomaru after my mother died I told him what happened and practically begged him to let me live with him. He basically said that's tough and then tried to kill me."

"That's awful," I said as I leaned into him. "I'm so sorry, Inuyasha."

He put his arm around my shoulders. "I have good memories of her at least."

"Do you think she would like me?"

He looked at me with a smile. "Of course she would."

"Really?" I said happily.

"She would adore you, Kagome. I can see her now giving you hugs, knitting you scarves, and telling you to keep me from doing anything stupid."

I laughed a bit at that.

"I only wish she was here to meet you. As soon as you came back through the well after those three years I'm pretty sure her first words would have been 'so when are you and Inuyasha getting married?' She had a very innocent and pure way of thinking about things, kind of like how you do."

"That's so nice. I really do wish I could have met her."

"Thank you for coming here with me, Kagome. I really appreciate it."

I gave him a kiss. "You're welcome, love. We'll make it another one of our traditions."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Sure."

After we stood up I got on his back and headed home. I'm so glad that Inuyasha opened up to me and told me more about his mother. Admittedly, I had always been kinda curious about her, ever since that time Sesshomaru had lured him in with that demon disguised as her when he was trying to steal the tetsusaiga. I'd always been afraid to ask about her though because I didn't want to make Inuyasha sad.

I'm happy that he was able to open up to me about her and I think it made him feel a bit better too. Looking at him lying in the bed behind me now, he looks a lot more at peace than he did this morning.