Thank you to Ana, who is an amazing crack writer and I can't measure up to her, but she is also an incredible cheerleader.
Dolores loved a man in power. She watched Cornelius through her peephole as he strode magnificently through the peasants — ahem, Ministry employees, barking out orders, and with each passing second, she fell a little more in love.
He was a pudgy little man, sure, but that hardly mattered to Dolores.
Cornelius was once again going to spend Valentine's Day alone — and despite the tough, indifferent facade he presented, his ego cared. Nobody loved him. No one wanted to spend time with him. They were all too afraid of him to approach him.
He was a man, dammit. He had needs. Ever since he'd become Minister, he had become some magnet that repelled women.
But he supposed all men in power repelled women. Albus Dumbledore repelled women. Gellert Grindelwald repelled women. Being a man in power meant he was lonely.
Cornelius dragged himself into the elevator. There was a pretty young witch in the elevator, and she flinched and all but fled the elevator when he tried to flash a charming smile at her. Dejectedly, he leaned back and rested his head on the back wall of the elevator and didn't move until the doors opened with a pleasant ping.
Not looking forward to the mountain of paperwork awaiting him in his office, he trudged down the corridor and pushed the door to his office open. Upon laying his eyes on his desk, he froze in the doorway.
Dolores Umbridge was lounging on his desk in a gauzy, glittery pink dress, holding a pink rose between her teeth. Pink rose petals were scattered on his desk and the floor. His office was bedecked with pink decorations, so much that it made his eyes burn.
His eyes were drawn to the way the pink dress emphasized her not-curves and clung to her not-breasts and his mouth salivated. His jaw fell open in a (un)attractive gape.
"Hello, Cornelius," Dolores purred, sliding off the desk seductively and walking (waddling) towards him, the rose falling out of her mouth. Belatedly, he realized she was wearing hot pink stilettos.
"Mmm?" He stared at her, disbelieving, as she picked up the now sticky rose and offered it to him.
"I've been waiting for you," she murmured, trailing a finger down his chest. They were roughly the same height so she was level with him, and he could see her eyes, which were full of lethal lust.
Cornelius broke out into a sweat, his stomach churning with anxiety. He'd never had a woman approach him so...brazenly before and he didn't know what to do. Her nerve had shocked him. He was attracted to her, so what was his next move? Kiss her?
"Wait," he managed to say, edging around her and closing the door. Dolores smiled pleasantly, her stubby lashes lowering coquettishly. "I need you to do something for me."
She looked up at him and let out a high-pitched giggle. "Anything," she whispered.
Cornelius's hands twitched. He was barely refraining from touching her, from ripping that dress off her body. Now that the door was closed, that raised the bar to another level.
"Don't tell anyone," he murmured. "We can't tell anyone — if they heard —"
"Why must I hide my love for you from them?" Dolores whined, and the sound of her voice sent a surge of heat through his body. "I love you, Cornelius. I want the world to know how much I desire you." She fluttered her eyelashes.
"Erm," he squeaked, and then cleared his throat. "My sweetheart, we could be fired for this. Believe me, I want to claim you too, but surely you understand —"
Dolores grabbed him by the lapel of his robes and yanked him forward. Their lips collided painfully, but it was over in a few seconds. Cornelius had barely tasted her and he was sorely disappointed.
"If that's what it takes," she said roughly, "I'll do it."
If you're wondering why this happened, I have no idea. Don't ask me what I was thinking when I was writing this.
653 words
Truth or Dare - Dares - 6. Write a fic for one of your NOTPs.
Wings of Fire - Rainwings - Write, without bashing, a character you would normally bash/hate.
Honeydukes Hoarder - Lollipops & Suckers - 7. Nerve
All Aboard - Blue Train: Emotions - 6. Anxious
Founder Says - Helga - 1. "If that's what it takes, I'll do it."
1000 - 409. (pairing) Fudge/Umbridge
366 - 47. Claim
