October 31, 1998

It felt like water. The canvas rippled out from where her hand was submerged in the magic. She held her hand steady, waiting. She stared into grey eyes on the canvas and held her breath.

Please work. Please work. Please work.

She almost gasped when something grabbed her hand. She knew that touch. She gripped the hand holding hers and stepped firmly back. Tattooed knuckles held onto her hand. An arm emerged from the painting and she stood still, watching and waiting for the rest to follow. She watched as a long, lean leg came into view and then there he was.

Sirius Black, as handsome as she'd ever seen him, stood before her. Glowing with youth and grinning at her. She flung her arms around his neck and sobbed. It worked. It worked! He was here! He'd come back to her. She leaned back and cradled his face in her hands. He gripped her elbows and stared into her eyes.

She couldn't speak. She just drank him in. Seventeen years of waiting. Seventeen years of dreaming and hoping and praying and longing and she was finally in his arms again. It didn't seem real. He had to be a dream. She couldn't let him go, because he'd definitely drift away into mist if she released him.

His thumbs stroked over her arms and he leant his forehead against hers. His voice was low when he spoke.

"I definitely have a fancy for older witches."

She threw her arms around him and laughed, crying into his shirt. He threaded his hands through her hair and leant his cheek against her head.

"I missed you so much." He breathed against her hair.

She drew back to look at him again and her eyes widened. She gripped his shirtfront. Small lines snaked their way from the corners of his eyes. His hair grew longer than she'd ever seen it. He leant back and looked at her curiously.

"Love, what's wrong?"

"You're aging." She said worriedly.

He looked down at his hands. They were lined now too. Calandra looked back up to his face and was appalled to find it gaunt and haunted. His cheeks were hollow, and his hair was as long as hers. She watched, scared to breathe, as his cheek bones jutted out, almost piercing his skin. His facial hair was bedraggled, his skin deathly pale.

What had she done wrong?

He cupped her cheeks in his hands as he watched her watch him. Slowly, so very slowly, his features started to fill out again. She relaxed in his arms as his cheeks lost their hollowness and his hair took on a healthier sheen. She stared at him, searching his face until she could see no other changes. His eyes sought hers and she let out a breath.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Never better." He smiled.

She drank him in, this Sirius she didn't have the chance to learn. His hair fell in long waves past his collar, his eyes and mouth lined. His youth left in the past, he no longer looked like the handsome boy she'd fallen for. He was weathered and worn, but his eyes were the same. Grey sparks of fire with mischief and love held in them. Her heart squeezed when she found something else there, too. Something almost blank, almost numb. Azkaban must have done that to him.

"Do I pass inspection, love?" he teased.

"I think I painted you wrong." she said. "You're far too handsome."

He gathered her in his arms and his chest shook with laughter. She smiled and reached a hand up to stroke his face. She watched a tear drop snake its way down his weathered cheek. He held a hand at the base of her neck, cradling her head.

"Really, Cal. I'm not the same man I was all those years ago." His eyes searched hers.

She nodded and smiled through her tears.

"I know, you have a mustache."

His eyes darted back and forth between hers and he gathered her in his arms laughing and kissing her.

"I quite like it." She said against his chest. "And you're right. You're not the man you were all those years ago. You're so much more."

Sirius brushed his thumbs under her eyes, wiping her tears away.

"And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life re-memorizing every single thing about you."

She watched his eyes. Watched those grey pools spark and burn. She watched as that blank quality slowly lifted from them, driving away whatever nightmares he'd still been reliving. She got lost in those eyes, for the first or the five hundredth time. She watched as he drank her in, like a man lost in the desert who just stumbled upon water.

A peace settled over her for the first time in almost twenty years. She'd finally come home.

Calandra sat with Sirius on the old blue sofa, her hand clasped firmly in his. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him. She wanted to etch every single detail in her brain. Wanted to brand his image in the forefront of her mind forever. He smiled at her and her heart stuttered. Even now, after all this time.

"I'm so sorry." She said, squeezing his hand. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get you out of there. I tried. I promise I did. I tried so long to get you out."

Sirius shook his head at her and held both of her hands.

"You don't have to apologize to me for that."

"I do!" she said. "I'm the reason you were stuck in there. If I had never attacked Mr. Crouch, I could've gotten you out. I didn't even mean to do it. I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to help you, and I ruined it all."

"No." Sirius said, cutting her rambling off. "You have no blame in that."

"I do." She said, shaking her head. "If I'd have kept my head, I could've petitioned the council. I could've gotten you out. But I went and got myself locked up, too. I'm so sorry, Sirius. I'm so sorry."

Sirius stroked her cheek and ran his thumb over her hand.

"I deserved to be in there, Cal." Sirius said, gruffly. "James died because of me. I suggested Peter. It was me."

Calandra grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and shook him.

"You look at me." She said, fiercely. "You did every single thing in your power to keep James safe. It is not your fault that someone the both of you trusted betrayed him. Not only that, you protected Harry. You escaped Azkaban and the first thing you decided to do was go straight to Harry. He told me he saw you that night. You could have gone straight for Peter, but you chose Harry. You did not deserve to be locked in that cell. You did not deserve that."

Sirius smiled at her and cocked his head.

"I quite like it when you get all riled up. I'd forgotten how your eyes flash when you're angry. Some of my fondest memories are of you fighting mad. You're gorgeous when you're angry."

She rolled her eyes, but they softened when she looked back at him. He brushed her hair back from her forehead.

"I'm sorry I didn't come for you." he said softly.

"You couldn't have known." She said.

"I thought about you all the time. I went to the flat, but you weren't there. I thought maybe you'd moved. Maybe you'd met someone new."

Calandra swallowed thickly and shook her head.

"You ruined me for everyone, you horrid old fool." She said.

"I know the feeling." He said ruefully.

Calandra smiled a tight smile and Sirius shook his head.

"I didn't look for you like I should have." He said bitterly. "Not at first. When I first got out all I could think of was going after Wormtail. Keeping Harry safe. I thought you were safe somewhere. I had no idea-"

"Of course." Calandra stroked her thumb across his hand. "You're his Godfather; I'd expect no less."

"But then he found out." Sirius gave a small smile. "Remus found us and realized what had happened. Harry knew I wasn't….he knew I didn't betray Prongs."

Calandra squeezed his hand and put his palm to her cheek.

"I did look for you." he said. "Things went wrong that night. Wormtail got away and I had to go on the run, but I did look for you. I looked all over England but couldn't find a single trace. I thought you might have gone back to Greece or Italy. Thought you might try to find more answers, about your voice."

"I spent months in France." He said. "Combing over the places we'd been. I half hoped you be there, lying on the beach somewhere. But you weren't. When I couldn't find you, I resigned myself to thinking you'd met someone else, got married, and moved away."

She shook her head at him.

"I asked Moony about it once, when I came back. When the Order formed again."

Sirius swallowed and his hand tightened against her neck.

"He told me you died."

His eyes took on a distant look, reliving some moment in the past.

"I laughed in his face, I did. He showed me your obituary. He'd kept it. All that time. Yours and Prongs's and Lily's, all tucked away in that briefcase we bought him. I'll never forget those words typed on that paper. It's like they were burned right into my memories. Calandra White. Passed away July 7th, 1985 in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries from complications of permanent spell damage."

He shook his head and blinked rapidly.

"That was it. Nothing else. Your whole life reduced to that one line."

"I couldn't talk about it after that. I just shut that part of me down. It was like half of my heart was frozen over. I just, stopped caring as much. Moony, he tried to talk to me a bit. Tried to ask me what had happened, but I couldn't. I just couldn't explain it all to him. So, he stopped trying after a bit."

Calandra felt tears roll down her cheeks.

"You'll be happy to know we made amends." Sirius said haughtily.

"Good." Calandra smiled through her tears. "That's exactly what I wanted. Ol' Moony and Padfoot, thick as thieves again."

"Well, we tried." Sirius said wistfully. "I wasn't the best company. The Order used the town house for headquarters because it was unplottable and there I was, back in the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black once again."

Calandra smiled a sad watery smile at him.

"As you can imagine, that did wonders for my already sunny disposition." Sirius said wryly. "I spent most of my time holed away in my old room, trying to forget where I was."

"About that." Calandra fixed him with a stern look. "You really must take those photographs down! Harry is sleeping in there!"

Sirius laughed.

"I put a permanent sticking charm on them. They won't come off. I tried. I couldn't bear to look at them. Felt weird anyway; you were what? Sixteen? Seventeen? I charmed them to all look like the photo we used to keep above the mantel at the flat."

"Well, they're back to normal now." She said shrewdly.

"Perhaps I'll get updated ones for my Christmas gift this year." He said with a wink.

Calandra laughed and shook her head at him. He could ask for anything in the world for his Christmas gift. She'd give him the moon if he wanted it. After all he'd been through, she'd walk through fire to make him happy.

"I'm sorry you were there, though." She said. "I know how unhappy being back there must have made you."

He shrugged.

"The luck of the draw." He said. "Moony helped, though. There were little things. A bookmark he'd use that used to be yours. Prongs's comb. A joke he'd mutter under his breath at meetings that I know you'd told him. The planner Red gave him."

He smiled at the memory.

"We were going over plans one day at the kitchen table. I was pacing about as usual, and he was sitting there pouring over some book, going on about whatever it was he was reading. I made some remark about him being an insufferable swot. Then I saw him roll his eyes, turn to his right, and start to say something."

Sirius swallowed.

"It was you. He was getting ready to ask you why you put up with me, or if you were sure you weren't after me for my gold, or to tell you to put me in line. I know it. I know it because I was looking for you there, too Cal."

"I could hear your voice as plain as day, but you weren't there. It absolutely gutted me to know that all I had left of you were those bits and pieces you'd left in someone else. That the only way I could see you was in my memories. And even those had been wrecked by the Dementors."

Calandra wiped her nose. She brushed Sirius's hair back from his temple and ran her hand along his collar.

"I forgot I gave them to you, you know." He said. "When I got out and everything rushed back, I waited. I remembered so much. I felt, well not really happy, more content for the first time in years. But I kept waiting for them. I forgot I gave them to you. That I'd severed them."

"It took me years to be able to see them." Calandra said. "My magic was wrecked after that night. It took forever for me to be able to focus my magic enough to bring them to the front of my mind."

Sirius wrapped an arm around her.

"I thought you gave me the wrong ones." She laughed.

His chest rumbled as he chuckled. She pulled back and stared into his eyes.

"Did you?" she asked.

Sirius shook his head.

"Why those?" she asked. "They're so normal. I watched them over and over and over, for years. Almost all of them are ordinary memories."

"You know that feeling you get, in the very bottom of your heart? When you're perfectly happy with your lot in life? Like the world is just made of light?"

Calandra nodded.

"I felt that." Sirius said. "In each of those memories. I felt that feeling."

Calandra smiled as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. She vowed to herself, in that moment, she'd do everything in her power to make sure he had thousands of those types of memories to look back on. She sat back and reached for her wand. She put it up to her forehead and concentrated on bringing up the memories she'd spent years dissecting. He could finally have them back.


Sirius sat on the bed with Regulus and pointed out the stars on the map.

"That one's you!" he said proudly.

Regulus peered at the parchment and pointed to another one.

"And that's you?"

Sirius nodded and leant closer to his brother.

"The brightest ones in the lot!" he said firmly.

Regulus smiled and nodded. The two boys went back to studying the map, heads close together, knees touching, unaware of anything else in the world.


Sirius walked beside James into Zonko's. Fleamont and Euphemia followed them through, and they stomped the snow from their feet. James grabbed Sirius's arm and pointed to the fireworks whizzing through the air.

"Ello, there ma'am." A salesman greeted Euphemia. "We've got a new line of Juggling Jumpers in stock. You and your sons interested?"

Euphemia smiled at the salesman.

"I daresay they are, the little troublemakers." She said with a chuckle and turned to the others.

"What do you say, boys?" she asked.

Sirius's face broke out in a grin as he peered into the box the salesman held out.


Remus sat beside Sirius in transfiguration. Professor McGonagall had called James up to her desk to demonstrate their homework; turning a candle into a comb. Remus nudged Sirius and nodded his head towards James. He held his wand under his desk and whispered spells, as James flourished his wand in the air.

"Mr. Potter." McGonagall's voice was flummoxed. "I asked for a comb, not a cup."

James looked down at the desk in surprise.

"Sorry, Professor."

He waved his wand again, but this time the cup turned into a candelabra.

"Nice one." Remus muttered to Sirius.

"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall's voice was stern. "I asked for a comb. Unless a giant were to use this candelabra as such, I do not think it fits the assignment. Can you, or can you not, transfigure a candle into a comb?"

"Yes, Professor, I can. I'm sorry." James said, waving his wand over the candelabra.

The candelabra turned into a cabbage and Sirius snickered. James's eyes narrowed and he turned to face the other students. Sirius pointed to a random object in the textbook Remus had open in front of them and Remus nodded. McGonagall shook her head at James.

"Twelve inches of parchment on correct pronunciation and wand movement, Mr. Potter. I expect you to be able to successfully transfigure a candlestick into a comb next class period. Back to your seat."

James peered at his wand as he walked back down the aisle between the rows of desks.

"I'd hoped you would ask for another chance." Remus whispered to him as he slid into his seat. "The next one was going to be a codfish."

Sirius dissolved into laughter at the look on James's face.


Calandra tossed a snowball and it hit Sirius square in the jaw. Her eyes grew round and she asked if he was alright before dissolving into laughter. James gave her a high five and then the two of them shrieked and ran down the hill as Remus, Alice, and Dorcas charged at them, throwing snowballs wildly.


Sirius flew across the quidditch pitch and tossed a firecracker into the air. James flew up beside him and tossed up his own. Sparks rained down on them as the fireworks exploded and the two boys laughed as they used their wands to light up more.


James and Sirius flattened themselves against the wall in the tiny alcove. It was dark in the corridor, the lanterns on the wall flickered, throwing shadows down the long hallway. The voices grew louder as the people passed by the tapestry.

"Maybe we could go to Madam Puddifoot's." Alice said.

"Merlin, Alice." Calandra muttered. "If you want the bloke to snog you just go up to him and kiss him."

Dorcas laughed and Cecilia snorted.

"Reckon that would work on Sirius Black. He's in your house, pretty handsome don't you think?" Cecilia said.

James rolled his eyes at Sirius.

"Who doesn't?" Calandra replied as the girls turned the corner.


Euphemia peered in the room. Sirius pretended like he was asleep. Euphemia waved her wand and the Christmas tree in the corner stopped singing carols. She walked over to where James lay and pulled his glasses gently off his face. She lay them on the nightstand and moved to the other bed. Euphemia ran a gentle hand across Sirius's head and tucked his covers in around him.

"Sleep tight, my boys." She whispered and padded out of the room.

Sirius opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. When he finally drifted off to sleep, he had a smile on his face.


James and Remus emerged from the tunnel jogged toward the castle. Sirius hopped up from the steps and fell into step beside Remus.

"Did you see Prongs tonight, Moony?"

Remus laughed and looked at James. James rolled his eyes and turned to the both of them.

"It is not that big of a deal. It was a bit of grass, that's all." He said.

Sirius and Remus burst into laughter.

"It's ok, Prongs. We won't tell anyone you like to graze." Sirius said, laughing.


"I can do this one by myself!" Calandra said. "It's one of my favorites!"

Sirius watched her as she pointed her wand to the sky and illuminated each star in the Canis Major constellation. Her face lit up when she was finished.

"No mistakes on that one!" she said.


James nudged Sirius and gestured to where Remus sat, asleep on the couch. He'd stacked two folded jumpers, three books, a chessboard, a gobstone kit, and a mug on him.

"A new record, don't you think?" James asked.

"Yeah, but we can do better than that." Sirius said, grabbing a quill and a handful of chess pieces.


Calandra stacked her items on the counter at Honeydukes. She looked over at Sirius and smiled. After she counted out her coins she dug in her bag and handed him a pack of Caramel Cobwebs. Her smile grew wider when he immediately opened the packet and tossed the candy in his mouth.

"Thanks!" he said.

Lily kissed James on the cheek and he leaned in close to her.

"You're the most gorgeous witch in the room tonight, Evans. It's enough to make a bloke's heart stop." James said.

Sirius sat up and leaned across James.

"Notice he said witch and not person there, Lilypad. Even old Prongs knows I'm the most beautiful creature to grace the planet." Sirius said.

Lily threw her head back in laughter and James mussed up Sirius's hair.


Calandra concentrated on the canvas in front of her. There was a smudge of yellow paint on her cheek and a dab of blue on her forehead. The backs of her hands were covered in paint from where she like to mix colors together and she had her tongue stuck between her lips in concentration.

She reached up and absentmindedly scratched her temple. When she pulled her hand away, Sirius could see a streak of orange tangled in her curls. He smiled behind his book and watched her make magic out of a few pots of paint.


"It was stuck in the tree!" Calandra said from between the branches.

"You're a witch, Cals." James said. "Why didn't you just use magic?"

"I forgot, OK." Calandra snapped and reached for the cat. "It was meowing, and I just wanted to help."

James rolled his eyes. Calandra tucked the cat under one arm and stepped down to the lower branch. A loud crack rang out and Calandra grappled for something to hold on to, but her hand never found anything. She felt herself falling and let out a yell. A figure ran down the path toward them.

James whipped out his wand and barely got the spell out before she crashed at his feet. He grabbed her arm with his free hand. Calandra looked around. She was levitating about a foot off the ground. James had her arm in his hand and one of her shoelaces was looped around the end of his wand.

They both burst into laughter. Calandra righted herself and the cat scampered off toward the castle.

"Thanks!" Calandra said, still laughing.

"How jealous you reckon Pads will get when I tell him I managed to make you fall for me?" James asked.

Calandra snorted.

"I fell for the cat." She said.

"What is it with all you birds and those bloody cats?" James asked.

"Well, I'm really more of a dog person honestly." Calandra said.

James shook his head and laughed even harder.

"Of course you are!" he said and threw a hand up to Sirius who was walking towards them down the path.


"I'm very proud of you, Mr. Black." McGonagall said from behind her desk.

Sirius turned back around to face her. He shot her a smirk and ran a hand through his hair.

"I think we're on a first name basis now, don't you Minnie?" he asked.

McGonagall pursed her lips, but she couldn't hide the smile completely.

"You really are the most tiring thing, Mr. Black. But seeing as we're so close to the end of the term I won't punish you by taking any points away from Gryffindor." She said.

Sirius leaned against her desk.

"Admit it, Minnie. You want to win the house cup." He said with a grin. "You'll be glad to know that I earned us fifty points from Professor Vector for cleaning up dungbombs that somebody dropped in front of Filch's office, all for you of course."

"As I said." Professor McGonagall smiled. "I'm very proud of you…..Sirius."

Sirius gave her a wink and sauntered away crunching on a biscuit.


Calandra stood in the kitchen, waving a wooden spoon in the air and bouncing lightly on her feet. Air Supply played over the radio and Calandra sang along. She stirred the gravy in the pan and reached up in the cabinet for a couple bowls. She caught sight of something over her shoulder and looked back. Her eyes lit up and she smiled when she saw Sirius leaning in the doorway.


Sirius followed a large stag down the road. He stumbled a bit and righted himself, walking toward the animal. The creature walked like it was a newborn foal, legs wobbling and crisscrossing. Sirius laughed and took a swig of the drink he was holding.

"Oi!" he called. "Prongs! Hooves straight, mate!"

The stag turned its head and snorted. It turned back towards the road and shook its head. Sirius came up behind it and slapped it on the rear. The stag lurched forward then stumbled off to the right. Sirius laughed as it rolled into a ditch. He walked over and pulled on its antlers.

"Come on. I'll help you up." He said.

The stag shook its antlers out of his grasp and shakily got to its feet. It climbed back up on the road and wobbly walked forward. Headlights shone around a curve and soon an old station wagon pulled up beside them. Lily peered out of the driver's side window. Calandra got out of the passenger side.

"Where is my husband?" Lily asked.

Sirius laughed and pointed toward the side of the road. The stag stumbled forward and swiped its tongue up the side of Lily's face. Calandra snorted with laughter. Lily wiped her face and fixed Sirius with a stern look.

"Can he change back?" she asked.

Sirius laughed and shook his head. Lily sighed and Calandra opened the car door. She cast a charm over the car and grabbed the stag's neck.

"In you go, James." She said and pushed him toward the car.


Calandra scooped Alice into a hug and fixed a strand of hair that had fallen into her face. She stood back and surveyed her friend. Alice glowed with happiness; she looked positively radiant in her white gown. Calandra smiled and drew Alice in for another embrace.

"I love you, Alice." She said into her friend's hair.

"I love you too, Callie." Alice said.


James rifled through a drawer and handed Sirius a small white stick. Sirius looked down at the thing in his hands and turned it over. He looked back up at James confusedly.

"What's this?" he asked.

"That's exactly what I asked." James laughed. "It's a muggle thing. For women."

"Ok…so why hand it to me? You've seen me in the bath, Prongs. You know I've got a-"

"Yeah, alright. I know you're a bloke." James said and leaned back against the counter.

He ran his hands through his hair and looked at Sirius with an incredulous expression.

"We're having a baby." He said.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"Me and Lily. We're having a baby." He gestured to the stick Sirius was holding. "That thing proves it. Lily peed on it and it showed that there's a baby in there."

"You're having a baby?" Sirius asked, excitedly. "There's going to be a little Prongslet!"

James smiled and nodded. Sirius clapped him on the back and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"You only told me like this to trick me into holding the piss stick, didn't you?" he asked.

James grinned and burst into laughter, nodding. Sirius put an arm around James's neck and pulled him down to ruffle his hair.


Calandra rolled over in her sleep and reached an arm out in the bed. She felt around for something, but whatever it was wasn't there. Her brows creased and her hand continued slowly sweeping the bed.

Sirius kicked his shoes off and pulled his shirt over his head. He undressed and crawled under the covers. As soon as Calandra's hand found him, her face settled. She scooted closer and draped and arm across his stomach, wrapping herself around him.

Sirius slid an arm under her head and drew her close, dropping a kiss in her hair. Calandra breathed a contended sigh and rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"Perfect." She murmured, sleepily.

Sirius closed his eyes and rested a cheek against her head.

"Perfect." He agreed.


Sirius stared down at the bundle in his arms. He swayed back and forth and just drank in the tiny thing he held. He brought a hand up to the front of the blankets and pulled them back away from Harry's little face.

A tiny hand shot out of the blankets and Sirius ran a single finger over the small balled up fist. Five tiny fingers flexed and closed around Sirius's finger. He stood there, lost in thought as those tiny fingers gripped his.

"Pads." James said. "We have something we want to ask you."

Sirius nodded, still staring at the bundle in his arms.

"We wanted to know if you'd be Harry's Godfather." James said. "If something happens to us….well we want him to be with someone who loves him."

Sirius's head shot up and his eyes widened. He looked back down at the baby in his arms. His throat bobbed and he swallowed. When he spoke, his voice was gruff.

"Yeah." He said. "Yeah, I can do that."


Calandra held Harry in her lap, cooing at him and making funny faces.

"You're Aunt Callie's perfect little man, aren't you?" she asked in a sing song voice.

She kissed his cheeks and tickled his stomach.

"You're just Aunt Callie's itty bitty boy!"

Harry let out a squeal and blew spit bubbles. He grabbed hold of Calandra's hair when she bent down to blow raspberries on his stomach. Calandra laughed and held Harry up.

"Aunt Callie loves you, you little beast."

Sirius walked over and scooped Harry up into his arms, tickling him until he squealed in laughter.