Preface
Malfoy ChildPosted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/10145813.
Rating:
Mature
Archive Warning:
Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationship:
Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Character:
Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy
Additional Tags:
Explicit Language, Drama, Romance
Collections:
HPFandom
Stats:
Published: 2005-06-24 Completed: 2005-09-18 Chapters: 21/21 Words: 96365
Malfoy Child
by HPFandom_archivist
Summary
By Vorabiza
A potions accident turns Draco into a four-year-old and Harry takes over his care for the next four months.
Notes
Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at HP Fandom, which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on HP Fandom collection profile.
Chapter 1: Potions Accident
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to thrnbrooke—I'm not sure I would have ever gotten the courage to continue this story without your support and encouragement. Many thanks to SilentAuror for all the help, support, and encouragement—this fic would not be the same without your assistance.A/N: My intention with writing this story was not to detract from other fics or authors in any way. Quite simply, I enjoyed writing a story with the general theme of a deaged Draco. I don't believe there are nearly enough fanfics out there for those of us who enjoy this type of story. I was in contact with Constant Vigilance while I was writing this fic (and since the story's completion) and she has expressed her approval. I absolutely adore her story, "To the Moon". If you haven't read it, then you should! /viewstory.php?sid=295) I worked hard on this story and truly appreciate the reviews and overall positive response I've received. ~~Biza
Chapter One: Potions Accident
Boom!
The loud explosion startled everyone in the potions classroom and many of the students shrieked or ducked for cover.
Harry allowed himself a moment of indignation when he realized that everyone immediately looked in his direction first, despite the fact that the sound hadn't even come from his side of the room.
It was only moments however when everyone's horrified gaze was directed to the Slytherin side of the room—to a rapidly shrinking Draco Malfoy.
Snape had immediately flown into action and with a couple flicks of his wand he had abolished the blue goo from Malfoy's body and purged the entire area clean except for what was left in the cauldron.
Everyone in the room had come to a shocked standstill. Even Snape seemed to be frozen in place after the mess was clean, watching along with all of his students as Draco Malfoy's body shifted over the next thirty seconds until Draco was left standing there as a small child in robes that were now enormous on him.
For a few seconds longer, the entire classroom was hung in silence. Draco lifted his head and stared fearfully at all of his classmates with huge silver eyes.
The horrified gazes of his classmates fell away into gales of laughter from most of those in the room. The Gryffindors, of course, thought it was hilarious that the Slytherin prince was finally getting what he deserved. And in a potions accident of all things. Most felt Malfoy deserved it after all the grief he'd caused them in potions over the years.
Unfortunately for Draco, all of his Slytherin classmates were laughing hysterically as well. They seemed to think it was hilarious that their esteemed leader had been reduced to a child. No one ever said that Slytherins couldn't be cruel, even to one of their own.
There were only two people in the room who weren't laughing at Draco's plight. One of whom was Snape who had rushed to the small room off the classroom where he was recklessly going through a cabinet of potion vials.
The other person, who was still staring horrified at the small child, was none other than Harry Potter. As he continued to stare, Draco was starting to cry. Draco looked scared, lost and alone as the tears flowed silently down his cheeks. He hung his head and his hair swung forward, shielding him somewhat from all of the laughing faces.
Harry's mind was whirling at a furious pace as he tried to figure out exactly what was happening.
Harry had been hurt and alone during the long days and nights spent at the Dursleys over the past summer. It wasn't like he'd really had anything else to do at the Dursleys, and it had been a difficult thought process getting there, but he'd ended up spending a tremendous amount of time in his lonely days thinking about Draco Malfoy. In fact, he'd spent so much time thinking about him, that 'Malfoy' had become 'Draco' in his mind somewhere along the line.
As Harry stared at the small child, he was forcibly reminded of himself. How many times in his past had he stood in the middle of a group of people laughing at him, head bowed, silently crying as he did nothing but stand there in clothes that were too big for him? And no one had ever stood up for him. No one had offered him a hug or any kind of comfort. They'd simply continued to laugh and tease him, or turn away, fearful of helping him because of Dudley's, or even Vernon's, threats. So, he would simply stand there, scared and alone—just as Draco was now doing.
He thought about the plans he'd had to try to befriend Draco once the summer was over and they were back at Hogwarts. Not a single one of his many imagined scenarios had included Draco being suddenly turned into a small child.
Several more seconds passed as he desperately tried to pull his swirling thoughts together. The circumstances may have changed from his imagined scenarios, but the thought flashed through his mind that Draco seemed to actually need him, someone at least, to be his friend right now.
Harry wasn't sure how much sense his thoughts would make sense to others, but he knew the seemingly disjointed and random thoughts made sense to him.
"Stop it! He's just a child!" Harry shouted.
Harry couldn't stand it anymore and strode over to the other side of the room and knelt down to be on eye level with the crying child. Harry held his arms open, silently offering to give a comforting hug to the small boy. No one may have offered comfort to Harry when he was a child, and he was a little unfamiliar with this, but he was determined to offer to Draco what hadn't ever been offered to him.
Draco hesitated only a moment before he flung his arms around Harry's neck and buried his face in Harry's robes.
The room reverted into shocked silence as everyone watched Harry Potter comfort Draco Malfoy.
Harry did his best to ignore the fact that once again people were watching him, knowing full well this would start the rumor mill in the school again. In a sense, he was actually somewhat prepared to be the topic of people's speculations again. When you're Harry Potter making plans to try to befriend Draco Malfoy, you know going in that you're going to be inviting a LOT of gossip.
Snape stalked back into the room to see why the room was quiet and froze himself when he saw Harry settling himself into a sitting position on the floor with Draco on his lap.
"Potter, what are you doing?" Snape snarled.
Harry looked up at the potions master in angry defiance. "He was scared with everyone laughing at him. Even his so called friends were laughing at him," Harry snapped, glaring up at the surrounding Slytherins.
"Give him here, Potter," Snape demanded. He stalked over and attempted to lift Draco from Harry's lap, but Draco held on tight.
"No, no, no," Draco began sobbing over and over.
Harry held onto Draco and glared at Snape. "You're scaring him," Harry snapped.
Snape glared at Harry, but took a deep breath and tempered his voice to speak to Draco. "Draco, come here," he commanded, but in a much calmer tone than what he'd been using with Harry.
Draco shook his head violently, his face still buried in Harry's robes.
Snape abandoned the two students sitting on the floor for the moment and commanded the remaining students to clean up their workstations and leave. Harry shot Hermione a grateful glance when she cleaned up his area as well and packed up his bag for him. She just looked at him worriedly as she packed up then left the room.
Harry even shot Blaise a grateful glance and said a quiet thanks when Blaise packed up Draco's bag for him. Blaise returned with a bemused look but didn't say anything. Soon he was gone, too, along with the rest of the students.
That left Harry still sitting on the floor with Draco and Snape examining Draco's workstation, the only station that hadn't been cleaned. Harry calmly rocked Draco back and forth and murmured soothing words that seemed to comfort and slowly calm down the crying boy.
As Snape took samples of Draco's potion and transferred the contents of Draco's workstation to his personal potions lab, Harry began cleaning Draco up.
Harry snagged a wrinkled handkerchief from deep in one of his robe pockets, wiped away the tears and helped the small boy to blow his nose.
"Draco? Are you feeling better now?" Harry asked.
The small blond boy slowly nodded. He was still extremely quiet and was also still slightly clinging to Harry.
"Draco, I need to take you to the Headmaster's office," Snape commanded. "Leave Potter and come with me."
Draco shook his head and started trembling again. Harry pulled him closer and rubbed soothing circles on Draco's back even as he glared up at Snape.
"For Merlin's sake! Potter, let the boy go," Snape growled.
"No! You're scaring him! I'll just go with you," Harry snapped.
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a few moments. "Fine," he ground out finally.
Harry turned to the small boy he held on his lap. "I need you to stand up, Draco," Harry said softly. "We're going to go see the Headmaster and we'll see what he can do to help you. Alright?"
Draco looked up at Snape worriedly then looked back at Harry. "You'll stay with me?" he whispered.
Harry nodded and gave the boy a smile. "I'll stay with you as long as I can, okay?"
Draco nodded warily and tried to climb off Harry's lap only to get tangled his robes.
"Professor, can you shrink his clothes for him?" Harry asked.
Snape gave a long-suffering sigh but waved his wand, mumbling a couple of incantations. Draco was soon dressed in the same clothes and robes, but now they fit him properly.
Harry got to his feet and gave Draco a broad smile. "There, that's a lot better. Would you like to hold my hand?" he asked, holding out a hand to Draco.
Draco bit his lip and started to take Harry's hand. "Or I can carry you if you'd rather," Harry offered.
Draco looked up at Harry hopefully and that look melted Harry's heart. Harry already knew that he had feelings for the older Draco, and in the instant this small version of Draco looked at him that way, with such hope, Harry's feelings simply intensified. Changed a little, certainly, but definitely still intensified.
Amongst Harry's many thoughts over the summer regarding Draco Malfoy had been the conclusion that Draco looked like an angel with his pale skin, platinum hair, and overall gorgeous appearance. Harry may have likened him to an Angel of Death considering Draco's attitudes, but Harry thought he looked like an angel regardless.
This younger Draco gazing up at him looked even more like an angel to Harry, his gaze full of hope and a picture of innocence. Draco looked like a little cherubic angel, and that sweet, innocent face could have easily replaced any of the pictures Harry had ever seen of little angels.
Harry's thoughts transferred unthinkingly to his words when he spoke. "Come here, little angel," Harry said softly and gathered a willing Draco up in his arms. Draco wrapped his arms immediately around Harry's neck and laid his head on Harry's chest.
Harry grabbed Draco's bag and threw it over his shoulder and snagged his own bag as he went by to meet the impatiently waiting Snape at the doorway to the classroom. "We're ready," Harry said quietly.
It sounded a little odd to be pairing himself with Draco in even this innocent fashion, but Harry felt good about it regardless. This was not the way he'd intended to befriend Draco, but at this point he was willing to go with the flow. Harry hadn't been sure if any of his other ideas would actually work anyway. They did have an awful lot of history behind them.
Snape spun on his heel and stalked down the dungeon corridor with Harry hurrying behind him, holding tightly onto his small bundle.
Draco kept his eyes closed tightly but Harry saw all the stares directed their way as they followed the potions professor through the hallways. Draco's obvious fear, not even peeking to see his surroundings, worried Harry a little, but he didn't exactly have time to dwell on it right now. Harry was busy glaring at everyone staring at them, knowing that word was quickly spreading regarding what had happened in the dungeon classroom.
Soon enough, they were riding the staircase to Dumbledore's office. Snape knocked and entered when they heard the cheerful "come in" from Dumbledore.
Harry followed and was pleased to see Dumbledore's expression turn to shock for once. Even so, the shock didn't remain long and was quickly replaced by the ever-twinkling eyes as he smiled at the two boys.
"Come in. Have a seat, my boys," Dumbledore gestured to the comfy chairs in front of his desk. Harry dropped his and Draco's bags and settled himself into one of the chairs with Draco on his lap.
"Tea?" Dumbledore asked, conjuring up a tea tray.
Harry shook his head but looked down at Draco. He tipped the little chin up so he could look into Draco's eyes. "Are you thirsty? If you don't want tea, I bet Professor Dumbledore could get some pumpkin juice for you instead."
Draco looked warily over to the Headmaster, who with a wave of his wand had a jug of pumpkin juice and a small glass which he filled and levitated to Harry. "Here you go. Drink up," Harry said. "Sometimes crying makes me thirsty, so maybe it'll help you feel better too," Harry whispered.
Draco nodded and tentatively started drinking his juice.
"Now if the pleasantries are over?" Snape sneered at Harry.
Harry just glared at him. Harry was just as concerned about Draco as Snape was. The difference seemed to be that Harry was much more willing to try to ease Draco's fears in his current situation, while Snape was more focused on determining the problem and the subsequent solution.
Snape irritated Harry to no end, but he knew that Snape would do his best to help Draco, and he was relying on that fact. Harry couldn't help much there, and put his faith in Snape being able to help Draco. In the meantime, Harry obviously had more people skills than Snape did, at least, and he was doing his best to help Draco.
As Harry and Snape glared at each other, Harry wished that Snape could figure out that Harry was trying to help in the only way he knew how.
Dumbledore cleared his throat gaining both Snape's and Harry's attention. "Perhaps, Harry, you could introduce your young charge."
Harry smiled down at Draco. "This is Draco Malfoy, sir. There was some kind of accident in the classroom this afternoon. Draco, this is Professor Dumbledore."
Draco seemed to snap to attention with the introductions. "Pleased to meet you, sir," he said formally, in his little voice.
"I'm pleased to meet you as well, my boy," Dumbledore said, smiling kindly. "May I ask how old you are?"
"I'm four years old, sir," Draco said proudly.
"Wonderful!" Dumbledore declared. Then he turned to Snape. "Would you care to explain?" Dumbledore asked.
Snape described what had transpired in the classroom. Harry listened closely as Snape explained that without further testing he was still unsure of exactly what had happened, let alone how to turn Draco back to normal.
"Harry, how is it that you have come to bring young Mr. Malfoy here?" Dumbledore asked curiously. "I am admittedly much surprised."
Much to Snape's surprise, Harry glared at the Headmaster. "He's just a child and no child deserves to be ridiculed and yelled at. Even his so-called friends were laughing at him, and Professor Snape only spoke harshly to him."
"I was attempting to help him," Snape snarled.
"Yeah, but that tone sure isn't making Draco any more comfortable. He's scared," Harry snapped.
Sure enough, Draco was once again trembling in Harry's arms. Harry set the glass of juice aside on a small side table that appeared and cuddled Draco close. "It's alright, Draco. No one's going to hurt you," Harry said softly.
Dumbledore was gazing sadly at the two boys. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I did what I thought was best at the time." Harry knew the Headmaster was attempting to apologize for placing Harry with the Dursleys, but he wasn't exactly feeling very forgiving at the moment.
Thinking about all the affection and love he'd missed out on while living with the Dursleys, Harry placed a kiss on the top of Draco's head before turning his glare back on the Headmaster. "Yeah, well, I fully intend to do whatever I can to make sure that Draco isn't treated the same way I was. I know all too well what it feels like, and it broke my heart to see him standing there in the middle of the classroom surrounded by all of his classmates laughing at him."
Snape was eyeing Harry and Dumbledore suspiciously during their conversation. "Potter, what would you know about what it feels like to be ridiculed when you've always been treated like royalty?" Snape sneered.
"That's what you've always thought and knowing how you hold onto old grudges I don't see the point of even trying to explain it to you, since you'd never believe me anyway," Harry sneered back.
Dumbledore cut in before they could take their argument any further. "Harry, perhaps you would take young Draco to see Madam Pomfrey. Let's make sure that everything is physically well with the boy before we make any decisions regarding this matter. I would like to discuss matters further with Professor Snape and then we'll meet you in the infirmary shortly."
Harry nodded. He snatched the two book bags off the floor and picked Draco up again, walking out of the office without another word to the two men, but talking softly and reassuringly to Draco.
When Harry stepped into the medical wing, Madam Pomfrey came bustling over and gestured for Harry to place Draco on the nearest bed, saying that Dumbledore had flooed her and told her the basics of what had happened.
There was only one problem. Draco did not want to leave Harry.
"It's alright, Draco. Madam Pomfrey isn't going to hurt you at all. She'll just wave her wand around you and say a bunch of spells that will tell her that your body is alright. It won't hurt at all," Harry explained gently.
Draco still had his eyes shut tight and was trembling violently.
Harry was eyeing the boy in his arms worriedly. "Would it be alright if I held him while you examined him?" Harry asked Madam Pomfrey.
Her expression gentled and she nodded. She spoke to Draco softly. "Why don't you let Harry climb up on the bed and you can sit down in front of him and lean back on him while I examine you. Would that be alright?" she asked.
Draco opened his eyes and eyed her suspiciously. Then he looked up at Harry who smiled reassuringly at the smile boy. "It'll be fine, Draco, you'll see," Harry said.
Draco gazed at Harry trustingly and nodded his head. "Alright," he whispered.
So Harry climbed up onto the bed leaning back against the pillows, placed Draco between his legs and put gentle pressure on the boy's shoulders until Draco lay back against him. With one hand still on Draco's shoulder, Harry's other hand softly stroked Draco's baby-fine blond hair, attempting to sooth him with his touch while Madam Pomfrey ran her scans.
Fifteen minutes later she pronounced that she was finished and Draco swiftly turned over and buried himself in Harry's robes once again. Harry was still sitting there cuddling Draco and talking to him reassuringly when Snape and Dumbledore entered the ward.
Harry listened as Madam Pomfrey explained her findings to the two professors. Harry didn't understand all of the technical jargon, but he did understand that physically Draco seemed to be in perfect health for a four-year-old.
Dumbledore sat down on the end of the bed to talk to Harry and Draco. "Harry, with his mother gone and his father in Azkaban, Draco's guardian is actually his godfather," Dumbledore explained.
"Well, who is his godfather?" Harry asked.
"I am," Snape spoke up.
Harry and Draco both looked up at the man in surprise.
"Sev'rus?" Draco questioned in confusion.
"Yes, Draco, it is I," Snape spoke in a mild tone, finally. A small smile graced his lips, which caused Harry's eyes to widen further.
Draco eyed the man suspiciously. "You don't look the same," he said distrustfully.
"He is your godfather, I assure you," Dumbledore reassured the small boy.
Draco looked up at Harry. "Is he really?" Draco asked Harry.
Harry was once again thinking Draco looked like a little angel, gazing at him so trustingly. Harry had heard people use a lot of different endearments when they referred to people they cared about and he was feeling pretty certain that 'angel' was likely to end up sticking when it came to Draco.
Harry gave the boy a squeeze and smiled. "Yes, angel, this man is Severus. I just didn't know until now that he was your godfather."
Snape was glaring at Harry for daring to use his first name, but his features softened a little again when Draco turned back to his godfather. Draco nodded decisively. "If Harry says it's really you, then it must be true. But why do you look different?" he questioned.
Snape rolled his eyes at Draco's first comment. Why was Draco so trusting of anything Harry Potter said—of all people? He hesitated, trying to figure out how to explain to Draco why he looked so different to the four-year-old.
"Draco, what is the last thing that you remember?" Snape asked.
Draco furrowed his brow. "I don't know. I guess I was asleep in my bed and then I just woke up in the middle of that room. All I really remember was going to take a nap and everything was fine."
"And where was your bed?" Snape asked.
Draco raised an eyebrow, looking at Snape like he'd asked a very stupid question. Harry had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Obviously Draco had learned that expression at a very early age.
"Just answer the question, Draco," Snape snapped.
Draco cowered back a little once again, but answered as he was told. "I was in my bed at the Manor, sir," he said formally.
Harry glared at his professor for making Draco cower like that, but didn't say anything.
Madam Pomfrey spoke up. "From what I've been able to determine, he has no memories beyond the age that he is now. Once he's been returned to normal, his memories should be restored to him."
"I'm not normal?" Draco asked in a small voice, dropping his head down.
Harry tilted his chin up and gazed calmly at the little boy. "You are perfectly normal, Draco. You're a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful four-year-old boy. She didn't mean anything bad by what she said." Harry glanced briefly at Dumbledore and received a nod to go ahead. Harry went on with his explanation. "She only meant that normally you are a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful sixteen-year-old."
Draco stared at Harry wide-eyed. "I'm supposed to be sixteen?" he squeaked.
Harry nodded. "You've grown up and there was an accident in potions class this afternoon. Whatever went wrong with the potion caused you to revert back to being your four-year-old self instead of your sixteen-year-old self."
Draco's brow was furrowed once again as he thought about what Harry had said. The others were silent as they waited for Draco to process this information. Draco finally looked up at his godfather. "But how could this happen? I like potions and you wouldn't let something go wrong like that."
Snape stared at the boy as Harry and Dumbledore both chuckled.
"I think you know your sixteen-year-old self better than you realize," Harry laughed.
Draco looked at Harry curiously for a moment, but then turned back to his godfather hoping for an answer.
"I'm not sure how it happened, Draco, but I will do my best to find out," Snape answered.
"Which brings us to our current dilemma," Dumbledore said. "Draco, your godfather will be very busy working to find out what happened to you and working to find a solution."
"Does that mean I get to stay with Harry?" Draco asked hopefully.
"If it is alright with Harry," Dumbledore said kindly, his eyes twinkling merrily.
Draco turned wide, silver, puppy dog eyes up to Harry, pleading to be able to stay with him.
"You can stay with me," Harry said, grinning at the little boy who was melting his heart once again.
Draco's face erupted into a huge smile and he threw his arms around Harry hugging him as tight as he could. "Thank you!"
Harry hugged him back and looked over at Snape. Snape looked like he just sucked on a lemon, but didn't say anything.
"Excellent!" Dumbledore declared. "Severus and I already discussed this possible arrangement in my office earlier. Harry, do you think there will be any problems if Draco was to stay in Gryffindor tower with you?"
Harry's face turned hard and determined. "No, sir. I will make sure of it."
"And can you guarantee no harm will come to my godson?" Snape snarled.
"I can guarantee that I will do my utmost best to protect him from any harm," Harry said, his voice full of conviction.
Snape eyed Harry with suspicion for a few moments. "Why do you wish to take care of him? You are aware of your history, even if he is not," Snape asked.
Draco looked worriedly up at Harry. His chin began to quiver. "Harry?" he questioned in a small, shaky voice.
"Oh, angel, it's alright," Harry soothed, brushing a lock of hair away from Draco's eyes that were overly bright, threatening to fill with tears once again. "I want to take care of you because you're special. Don't you ever think otherwise. Yes, we've had plenty of arguments in the past, but don't you worry about that. I promise I'll take care of you. Alright?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded firmly. "Alright, Harry," Draco said with a smile.
Harry kissed Draco on his nose, causing the little boy to scrunch his nose and giggle. "It'll be alright, Draco." Harry laughed then turned back to his professor.
Snape was looking at him with obvious disgust, but Harry decided he didn't really give a damn. Harry didn't hold out much hope of ever gaining the man's approval, and this was about Draco, not Snape. Harry was willing to admit it was about himself, too. He'd never had someone treat him like he was now treating Draco, but he'd sure fantasized about it a lot while he'd sat by himself in his cupboard.
Harry understood that it wasn't likely to be just Snape to look at him oddly for how he was treating Draco. Harry wasn't exactly well known for his displays of affection, and he knew it. But this was about a child. Maybe motivating Harry even a little more was that fact that this was Draco as a child.
"Professor, I'm not sure that you will believe me, but I had already intended to try to get on better terms with Draco this year. I admit that I hadn't even told anyone and we've only been back at school for a day, so it's not like I've had much of an opportunity to approach him. There's not any reason for you to believe me, but that's okay." Harry closed his eyes.
"Even if this had happened last year, I still would have volunteered to do whatever I could to help out a small child, no matter what his history may be like. Or maybe even because of his history," Harry said thoughtfully. "Either way, I wasn't lying or exaggerating earlier when I said that I know what it's like being a small child and not having anyone to care for you."
Harry opened his eyes which were bright with their own unshed tears like Draco's had been just moments earlier. "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, sir."
Snape looked slightly taken aback by the intensity of Harry's words. "Very well then," he said, giving Harry a curt nod.
"Harry?" Draco asked tentatively. Harry tried to turn his head away, but Draco put his hands on either side of Harry's face and turned his head towards him. "I'll be here for you, too, Harry."
Harry closed his eyes again and a single tear spilled over. Draco wiped the tear away then got up onto his knees so he could kiss Harry on the nose. "It'll be alright, Harry." Draco parroted Harry's actions and words back to him.
Harry opened his eyes and gave Draco a shaky laugh. "Of course it will, angel."
"Harry," Dumbledore quietly asked for Harry's attention. The twinkles in his eyes had dimmed somewhat. "I'm arranging for an extra bed to be put into your dorm and there will be a trunk there with clothes and appropriate things for Draco at this age. Hopefully this situation will not last long, but for now Draco will stay with you essentially at all times. Meaning that he will not only sleep in your dorm, but he will also attend meals and even classes with you. I will talk with all of your professors and let them know the situation. If you encounter any problems, you know to come to either myself or Professor Snape."
Harry nodded. "Yes, sir. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Harry. And I must thank you for taking on this responsibility," Dumbledore said.
"It's my pleasure, sir," Harry said softly.
"Well, I think by now that it is almost time for dinner. I suggest you two head on down to the Great Hall," Dumbledore said, the twinkle burning brightly once again.
"What do you say, Draco? Are you hungry?" Harry asked his charge.
"Yes, Harry," Draco said. "But don't I have to change for dinner first?" he asked.
Harry looked puzzled and Snape was the one to answer Draco's question.
"No, Draco, it will not be necessary for you to change for dinner here. You will find that things are more relaxed here at Hogwarts than they were at home," Snape replied.
Draco's eyes widened once again. "I'm at Hogwarts?" he asked in awe.
Snape allowed a small smile to show for his godson. "Yes, Draco. I'm sure Mr. Potter will show you around the school."
Harry grinned. "Come on, angel. Hop down and we'll go check out the Great Hall first and get some dinner."
Draco scrambled off the bed and waited for Harry. He was eyeing his godfather a bit warily. Suddenly he ran forward and wrapped his arms around Snape's legs, but before Snape had a chance to react Draco had released him and ran back to Harry. He grabbed Harry's hand in a tight hold.
Snape looked startled, a highly unusual look for the austere potions master. Harry recognized that he'd probably seen more expressions on his professor in the last couple of hours than he had in the entire last five years that he'd known him.
Draco looked slightly fearful, like he was afraid that he would be punished for hugging his godfather. Harry reached down with his free hand and tipped Draco's chin up so he could see him. "Good for you," Harry said with a wink.
The praise made Draco puff up proudly and he completely lost the fearful look when Snape gave him a genuine smile. "Enjoy your dinner, Draco."
Harry and Draco walked out of the infirmary hand in hand.
Chapter 1: Potions Accident
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 2: Meeting Old Friends
As Harry and Draco came closer to the Entrance Hall, there were more and more students making their way to the same destination. The whispers surrounding them became more plentiful as people noticed the small boy clutching Harry's hand.
Draco walked closer and closer to Harry, and Harry easily recognized his fearful attitude. He'd been there before. At the top of the final staircase down into the Entrance Hall, Harry shifted their bags on his shoulder and reached down to pick up the small boy who was becoming even more scared with the overwhelming number of students that were swarming around them to the Great Hall for dinner.
It wasn't as if anyone was actually coming near them, though. All of the students were giving them a wide berth and Harry strode easily through the crowd. Harry walked confidently through the main doors and made his way over to the Gryffindor table where Ron and Hermione were already sitting.
Harry didn't see that he had any other choice but to go into this with confidence. Well, he did have a choice, but things would only deteriorate rapidly if Harry let them. Whether he liked the distinctions or not, he was the Gryffindor Golden Boy suddenly taking care of the Slytherin Ice Prince and that brought about the possibility of any number of situations developing.
What was almost surprising to Harry was that his confidence really wasn't much of an act. He was a little nervous, but not overly so. Once again, he recognized that the situation was very different than he'd expected, but he'd done his best to prepare himself for dealing with the reactions of his friends and the school for befriending Draco before he'd ever come back to Hogwarts this year.
He had to believe that the fact that Draco was now a cute four-year-old would only help bridge the gaps between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. It certainly had to be easier than when Draco was still the sarcastic bastard that he generally was. At least Harry had the cooperation of this smaller Draco.
Harry calmly sat Draco down on the bench next to Hermione before sitting down on the other side of him. Ron was sitting on the opposite side of the table and Harry knew Draco would be much safer next to Hermione, rather than sitting next to Ron. Harry had no sooner thought that, when Ron spoke up.
"What's he doing here?" Ron yelled.
"Ron! He's just a little boy and he will be staying with me for the time being. Leave him alone," Harry snapped. He'd known Ron wasn't going to like this. He'd had very little time to think about it, but it didn't require major thinking to realize this was Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy, with a history of their own.
"But he's Malfoy," Ron said with obvious disgust.
"Harry, are you sure he should be staying with you?" Hermione asked in a worried tone, glancing at Draco and then Ron.
"I'm absolutely positive, Hermione," Harry declared with confidence.
"But, Harry," Ron whinged. "He doesn't belong here."
Harry realized Draco was trembling with fear again.
"Damn it, Ron!" Harry exclaimed loudly. "Couldn't you shut up just once?"
So much for being prepared, Harry thought to himself with a mental roll of his eyes. He did feel bad for lashing out at his friend, especially considering the shocked expression Ron, and everyone else, was directing at him. But even without the current circumstances, Harry was still tired of Ron always going to the extremes in any given situation.
Harry was also highly sick and tired of everyone else trying to decide what was best for him. He didn't care anymore if no one understood exactly why he was doing this, electing to take care of Draco. He was getting angry because no one ever seemed to trust his judgment.
Harry knew very well that his friends meant well, but repeating that mantra over the months wasn't making him feel much better. Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore, and any number of other people of lesser degree, all meant well with their concern for him. However, Harry was ready to at least make some decisions on his own.
This decision regarding helping out with Draco was one that was very important to him for a number of reasons, and he wasn't about to let anyone stand in his way, even his well-meaning friends.
Harry stood up again and gathered the trembling little boy back up in his arms. Most everyone had gathered in the Great Hall by that time, and all eyes and ears were on Harry and his young charge.
Harry glared at Ron with a hard glint in his eye. He glanced around to the others at the Gryffindor table and the rest of the silent students gathered for dinner. "If anyone has a problem with him, then you will be answering to me," Harry declared, in a voice of steel. Not a soul doubted that Harry meant what he said.
Leaving his friends staring after him in shock, Harry spun on his heel and swept across the Great Hall towards the Slytherin table. He knew he was taking a huge risk. Harry had never even remotely been on good terms with the Slytherins, but this was one way to jump right in, hope that he could change things and maybe even make friends with them.
Harry gave himself a mental shake as he made his way across the length of the Great Hall. He was always accused of jumping into situations without thought. He had honestly thought things through this time and had made plans. All of that was flying out the window now, though. He had to wonder if his uncanny ability to fly by the seat of his pants would carry him through this. He always had been able to do better in going by his instincts, rather than by logic or knowledge.
Draco was a leader in Slytherin house and despite their laughter earlier, Harry could only hope that they'd be made welcome there. Last chance or he was taking Draco out of the Hall altogether. Harry breathed a sigh of relief when the Slytherins shifted as they neared, and two seats were made available between Crabbe and Goyle. It seemed that Harry was right in the fact that the Slytherins were loyal to their own, even if it included bringing Harry Potter into the mix.
Harry dropped their bags and didn't even bother trying to set Draco down in his own seat this time. He just sat down and adjusted Draco to be comfortable on his lap. The little boy was crying again and Harry was making soft shushing noises trying to calm him once again.
"Shhh, it's all right now, Draco. There's nothing to be scared of," Harry soothed.
Harry was startled slightly when a handkerchief was waved in front of him. Harry looked up to see Pansy holding it out for him with a worried expression. Harry took it gratefully and nodded his thanks.
"Come on, Draco. Look at me and we'll get you cleaned up so you can eat dinner," Harry said calmly.
Draco slowly lifted his head and Harry gently wiped the tears and snot from Draco's face. At least, the ones that hadn't already been wiped on Harry's robes.
"Better now?" Harry asked softly.
Draco nodded and hesitantly looked around him. "They're all staring at me, Harry," Draco whispered.
Harry smiled at the boy ruefully. "Yeah, well, you're not alone, angel. They're staring at me, too, because I don't normally sit at this table."
Draco looked up at Harry fearfully. "Will we be in trouble for being here?" he asked shakily.
Harry warily glanced at the surrounding Slytherins. They remained silent, watching the interaction between Harry and Draco. Not a one was sneering or in any way indicating that they were unwelcome.
Harry looked back down at Draco. "No, Draco. You belong here. These people here are your friends."
Draco looked surprised and looked up through his fringe at the surrounding Slytherins. "Really?" he asked. "You mean when I'm a sixteen-year-old?"
"Yes. Um, I don't know if you knew any of them when you were four," Harry admitted. Harry pointed across the table to Pansy. "That's Pansy Parkinson, and next to her is Blaise Zabini, on her other side is Millicent Bulstrode, and sitting on either side of us is Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle."
Draco's eyes grew wide as saucers. "And I thought Sev'rus changed," he breathed. The aforementioned Slytherins all chuckled. "Is it really them?" Draco asked Harry.
Harry nodded. "Do you know them?" he asked curiously. Harry hadn't had any friends when he was four. In fact, he hadn't had any friends until he'd met Ron on the train. He glanced briefly across the hall and sighed before turning back to Draco. He'd deal with the Gryffindors later.
Draco was quietly studying each of his friends. "I know them," he finally admitted. "Sometimes they come over to the Manor when there's a party or something and I'm allowed to play with them for a little while, as long as I don't get dirty."
Harry frowned and filed that information away to think more about later. Draco's friends were nodding.
"We were only allowed to play with you when your parents were hosting a social event," Pansy agreed.
"Draco? Are you ready to sit down and eat now, and you can talk to your friends while we eat?" Harry asked.
Draco clutched Harry's robes a little tighter for a moment, but then he slowly nodded. Harry helped him slide over into his own seat and began dishing up Draco's plate for him, asking Draco what his favorites were and what he wanted. Pansy poured him a glass of pumpkin juice and Draco finally tucked in.
Harry filled his own plate and began eating, while he listened quietly to the conversation between Draco and his friends. Draco still seemed unsure of the situation and remained fairly quiet himself, while his friends talked about what they could remember from events when Draco was little.
Draco still sat close to Harry and Harry just kept his left arm around Draco's small shoulders while they ate, trying to provide him with a little extra security. As they were finishing up their meal, Blaise finally asked the question all of them wanted the answer to.
"Draco, why are you letting Potter take care of you?" Blaise asked. Harry had to give the Slytherin credit, because there was only a slight sneer when he'd said Harry's name.
Unfortunately, Draco still heard it, and he pressed up against Harry's side. "He didn't laugh at me and he holds me and he calls me angel and he lets me cry and he doesn't hurt me and he makes me feel safe," Draco said defensively all in a rush. "I trust him," he added defiantly.
The group of Slytherins was taken aback by the ferocity of Draco's response. That was the most the boy had said at one time and the intensity of his answer reminded them all of the sixteen-year-old Draco.
Blaise swallowed. "We're sorry that we laughed at you in class today, Draco. We didn't mean to hurt you."
The others nodded in agreement, but Draco didn't exactly look convinced of their sincerity.
"It's okay to accept their apology, Draco. Remember, they're your friends," Harry said quietly, realizing that he could probably stand to take his own advice. There was a lot going on between him and his own friends at the moment, and it was far easier to tell Draco something like that, than to do it himself. Besides that, Harry could ill afford to be having Draco upset the Slytherins any further. They were accepting this situation better than Harry would have expected, and he didn't want to backtrack and make things worse.
The Slytherins looked surprised by Harry encouraging Draco to forgive them, but Draco took Harry's word at face value. He gave a heavy sigh. "I forgive you," he said to the Slytherins. "Is that okay?" he whinged, looking at Harry.
Harry couldn't answer and only nodded. He had to cover his mouth, trying to smother his grin at the way Draco forced out his apology. Harry noticed the others were also trying to suppress their own grins. Pansy smiled at her little friend. "Thank you, Draco," she said formally.
"Are you about finished eating?" Harry asked Draco. "We still need to make sure your godfather and Professor Dumbledore got those new clothes for you that they promised." He tapped Draco on the nose. "You, mister, need to go to bed early tonight. It's been a very long day for a four-year-old."
Draco nodded and picked up his glass of juice to finish it off.
"Is he staying in the Gryffindor dorms with you?" Pansy asked, sounding horrified at the very idea.
Harry sighed when Draco's glass was hurriedly set back on the table and the boy was crawling into his lap. Harry just wrapped his arms around Draco and rubbed his hand up and down Draco's back soothingly while he answered Pansy.
"Yes," Harry said calmly, yet with a glare at Pansy for upsetting Draco again. "It's been arranged by Professor Dumbledore and his godfather."
With those words, the Slytherins and Harry all glanced up at the Head Table. Severus had been watching them closely throughout the entire meal. Harry simply nodded to his professor and the man nodded in return, his face remaining expressionless.
Draco's friends turned back to Harry.
"Draco feels safe with me, and I've promised to do everything I can to protect him," Harry said, hugging the boy to him a little tighter. "His godfather needs to concentrate on finding out what went wrong in class today, and then figure out how to fix things. I volunteered to watch Draco," Harry explained.
"Well, why can't we watch him?" Blaise asked. "We're his friends."
"I want Harry," Draco mumbled into the front of Harry's robes. Despite the mumbling, they all heard Draco's answer.
Harry shrugged slightly. "Draco wants to be with me," Harry explained. "Aside from that, I kind of understand what he's feeling and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him get hurt from all of this," Harry said, that hard glint in his eye returning along with his determined voice.
"But what is it you understand that we don't?" Pansy asked, sounding confused.
Harry looked down at Draco before returning his gaze to Pansy. "Later," he said shortly.
She, too, moved her gaze to Draco and nodded in reluctant acceptance.
"Come on, angel. It's time to head up to the dorm. Ready?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded and slowly slid from Harry's lap and down to the floor. He gazed warily at his friends. Harry gave him a soft smile as he picked up their bags and held a hand out to Draco, which he quickly latched onto.
"Say goodbye to your friends. You'll see them again tomorrow," Harry said.
"Bye," Draco said with a shy smile.
"Bye, Draco," came the chorus from his friends. "See you tomorrow," Blaise said, and Draco nodded.
Harry was surprised when Crabbe and Goyle rose from their seats and fell into step slightly behind Harry and Draco. Neither of Draco's henchmen had said much throughout dinner and they were still silent. Harry eyed both of them warily but they just nodded at Harry as they continued to walk with them.
After the third flight of stairs, Draco was obviously getting tired. Harry stooped to pick Draco up and was surprised when Crabbe slipped Harry's and Draco's bags off Harry's shoulder and slung them onto his own. Harry raised an eyebrow at the large Slytherin, but decided not to question the extra help.
When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Crabbe handed the bags back to Harry, they quietly wished Draco good night and then they slipped away, back in the direction they'd just come from.
Harry shook his head from the surrealness of what had just occurred and said the password so he could enter the Gryffindor common room, with Draco Malfoy in his arms.
There were quite a few people in the common room already back from dinner, and every one of those people froze in their activities when Harry stepped into the room. Harry just nodded at them all and strode quickly to the stairs leading to the boys' dormitories. As he entered the sixth year dorm, he could hear the noise start up again in the common room. Harry just shut the door to drown out the noise and breathed a sigh of relief.
Thankfully there was no one else up there at the moment. Harry saw the bed that had been placed close to his by the window and walked over and sat on Draco's new bed.
"Draco," he said softly. "It's okay to open your eyes now." Draco had kept his face buried in Harry's robes from the time Harry had picked him up.
"This is the room you'll be sharing with me and some of my friends," Harry explained. "And this here is your new bed," Harry said with a grin, bouncing a little.
Draco giggled a little at the bouncing sensation. "Really?" he asked curiously looking around the room. "Which one is your bed?" he asked.
"That one right there next to yours," Harry said, pointing out his bed.
Draco allowed Harry to set him on his bed and Harry got up to check out the trunk that was at the foot of the bed. "Let's see what they put into here for you," Harry said cheerfully.
Draco eagerly crawled to the end of the bed and peered over the footboard to stare into the trunk. They spent the next twenty minutes exploring the contents of the trunk. There were enough clothes to last Draco a few days, toiletries for a four-year-old including some sweet strawberry smelling shampoo, some wizard and Muggle kid's books, some Muggle coloring books, drawing pads and crayons which Harry felt sure were there with Dumbledore's influence, and a few wizard toys Harry had never seen before but Draco seemed to recognize.
Harry resisted the temptation to go through Draco's sixteen-year-old things from his book bag, but they did empty it out into the trunk Instead, they put in books and quiet activities that Draco would be able to do while Harry was in classes. Harry watched patiently as Draco made careful decisions about what would go in the bag and what wouldn't.
As Harry watched Draco go through the books, he wondered if Draco would like to have Harry read him a couple before he went to sleep. Aunt Petunia used to do that with Dudley when he was little. Harry was a little worried about doing anything like Aunt Petunia with the way Dudley turned out, but it wasn't like he had much more experience to draw from for parenting skills.
Of course, there were those telly sitcoms he got to watch on the rare occasion. Those families would read to their kids at bedtime, and those kids always turned out all right.
Harry snorted softly to himself in wry amusement. Aunt Petunia and telly sitcoms—he was probably better off going with his instincts and trying to take care of Draco the way he wished he'd been taken care of.
Once their bags were packed for the next day, they set about gathering up pajamas and toiletries and headed off for the showers. Harry stripped down to his boxers and stepped into the shower with Draco to scrub the little boy down.
"Cleaning charms are all right in a pinch, and Merlin knows you needed them this afternoon, but now it's time to truly get clean," Harry said. "Maybe tomorrow I can get the password to the prefect's bathroom and I can give you a bath rather than a shower."
By the time they were both done, Harry had a towel wrapped around his waist and a very sweet smelling Draco bundled in a large fluffy towel. Harry helped Draco get dressed in a pair of soft and warm flannel pajamas. They were Slytherin green with little golden snitches on them.
Even though Harry felt a little silly, since it was still early for him and he planned on going back down to the common room, he pulled on his own pajamas. Once they were all ready for bed, Harry had Draco pick out a couple of books to read before bedtime.
"Angel, let's say we take your books and go snuggle up by the fire in the common room to read," Harry suggested. "We can even take this nice fluffy blanket we found in your trunk." They'd found a wonderfully soft throw, obviously meant for a little boy into Quidditch. It was a sky blue with white puffy clouds all over it and it was decorated with broomsticks and Quidditch balls.
"Will there be a lot of people down there?" Draco asked nervously.
Harry understood the feeling. He didn't particularly want to go down into the crowded common room either, but he needed to get them used to the idea that Draco was going to be around whether they liked it or not. Despite what happened with Ron at dinner, Harry was sure that his fellow Gryffindors would adjust to the child being in their territory. He hoped.
Really he just hoped that for once no one would make a scene, scaring Draco in the process. Once Draco was tucked in bed, then Harry would come back down to talk to them, Ron in particular. If nothing else, Harry was thankful that everyone had left them alone in the dorm for this long.
"Probably," Harry admitted. "But it'll be all right. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."
Harry waited patiently while Draco seemed to wage an internal war. Finally he slid off his bed where he'd been sitting, and held his hand out bravely.
Harry took his hand and smiled. Harry tossed the blanket over his arm and snatched up the books Draco had selected and they made their way down the stairs to the common room.
Harry paused a couple of steps up from the bottom of the stairs. From this vantage point, he knew that everyone in the common room would be able to see them. There was a ripple effect as people noticed them and nudged their neighbors until everyone was quiet.
Harry acted like the shouting and warnings at the Gryffindor table at dinner had never happened and he acted like not everyone already knew the blond little boy standing next to him.
"Everyone, this is Draco Malfoy. He'll be staying with me indefinitely," Harry introduced in a proud tone, making it clear to Draco, and everyone else, that he was happy that Draco was there. "I hope that everyone makes him feel welcome," Harry added with a hint of warning.
Harry was surprised, but pleased, when Seamus came loping up and held out his hand to Draco. "Hey, little man. My name is Seamus and I sleep up in the same dorm where you'll be sleeping," he said in his friendly Irish accent.
Draco swallowed and looked up to Harry to see if this boy was okay. Harry nodded gently at Draco and gave him a smile of encouragement. Draco slowly reached out with his free hand and shook Seamus' hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said formally.
Seamus chuckled at the formality and winked at Draco. "It's a pleasure to meet you, too, little man."
Dean and Neville had come up behind Seamus. "Hello, Draco. My name is Dean and I'm in the same dorm, too," Dean said, offering his hand to Draco. Draco shook his hand, going through the same formalities.
Harry noticed that everyone in the room was still quiet, watching these proceedings with interest. Harry was beginning to think that there'd been a lot of talking down in the common room while he'd been upstairs with Draco. He'd also be willing to bet that Hermione had something to do with it, since she was sitting over by the fireplace quietly beaming.
Dean and Seamus stepped back, allowing room for Neville to come forward. Unfortunately, Neville was looking slightly green and extremely nervous. He just stood there staring at Draco until Draco looked up at Harry.
"Harry, why is he looking as scared as me?" Draco whispered. "Did I have arg'ments with him, too?"
Despite the whisper, the room was so quiet that his voice carried to everyone. Neville flushed, but Harry ignored him for the time being. He passed the blanket and books over to Dean, then crouched down on the stairs next to Draco so he could be at eye level.
"I'm afraid so, Draco. You've had plenty of arguments with Neville, too, but it's all right. Neville is just nervous because he doesn't really like fighting. But you're not going to fight with him, are you?" Harry asked.
"Of course not!" Draco said indignantly.
Harry grinned. "Good boy! So why don't you introduce yourself and maybe it'll make Neville a little less nervous if you go first," he suggested.
Draco gulped as he stared at Harry, but then he squared his shoulders, standing up as tall as he could, turned to Neville and thrust his hand out. "Hello, I'm Draco Malfoy," he declared properly.
Neville, of course, had witnessed the interactions and he gave Draco a small smile, shook his hand and they finished the introduction.
"I've got just a couple more people I'd like to introduce you to and then we'll read your books," Harry promised, picking Draco up to carry him through the maze of people in the common room. Harry stopped in front of the couch where Hermione and Ron were sitting.
Hermione was smiling but Ron was still looking a little surly. Harry glared at him in warning. Too late. Draco recognized them from dinner and promptly buried his face in Harry's chest and began trembling in fear.
Harry grimaced with frustration with his best friend and dropped down into the empty armchair that had been left available for him in front of the fireplace. Harry cuddled the small boy and kissed the top of his head. "Draco, look at me," Harry quietly commanded.
Draco slowly lifted his head to look at Harry and Harry smiled at him reassuringly. "Do you remember what I told you?" he asked.
Draco nodded. "That you'd protect me," he whispered.
"That's right," Harry said. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. I can understand that you're scared because of the argument at dinner time, but you don't have to be anymore. They're my best friends, and we may argue, but we always work things out eventually. I'll be talking to them later to work things out. But no matter what, I'm not going to let them hurt you. Do you understand?"
Draco furrowed his little brows up in thought. "Did they think I was still sixteen 'stead of four?" he asked.
"Kind of," Harry admitted. "You've had lots of arguments with them, too. Almost as many as you've had with me," Harry said with a grin.
Draco frowned in confusion. "But you don't hate me," he said in a small voice.
"Oh, angel," Harry breathed. "No, I could never hate you," Harry said, placing a kiss on Draco's forehead.
"But your friends hate me," Draco whispered. "When he looked at me, he made a bad face like he'd sucked on a lemon 'stead of putting it in his tea."
Harry chuckled. It was a fairly accurate description and snickers could be heard throughout the room. Everyone was still listening in on their conversation. Harry chanced a glance at Ron, who was looking indignant with that description.
Harry sobered up again as he tried to explain to Draco. "Hate is an awfully strong word, Draco. They're my best friends and, really, they were just trying to protect me in their own way. Just like I've yelled at a few people today trying to protect you, Ron yelled trying to protect me," Harry explained.
"You yelled at everyone, even Sev'rus and Dumbledore," Draco nodded wisely, causing more snickers to erupt throughout the room, along with shocked looks that Harry would yell at Dumbledore, let alone the Potions professor.
Harry didn't look apologetic at all. "Yes, I did. It probably wasn't the best way to go about things, but I'd do it again if I had to. I told you I'll do my best to make sure no one hurts you," Harry said.
Draco's brow was furrowed in thought again. "Why did they need to protect you from me?" he asked in confusion.
"Well, that's where they kind of forgot that you were only four instead of sixteen," Harry explained.
Draco's eyes grew wide as he thought about that. "So you need to be protected from me when I'm sixteen?" he asked fearfully. "Am I that bad?"
Harry smiled, but he answered seriously. "Not really. You do have quite a reputation, but I don't think most of us really know you that well at sixteen. Honestly, I think you've been somewhat forced into a role that gets you into a lot of arguments with people."
Draco hung his head. "Because of my father," he said quietly. It was a statement of fact, rather than a question. Even at only four years old, Draco obviously understood that his father forced him to behave in certain ways towards other people. His next words confirmed it. "I guess he keeps making me be mean to people when I don't want to be," he whispered.
Harry tilted his chin up again to see tears swimming in the child's eyes. "Draco, your father isn't here and you don't have to be mean to anyone. You can just be you, little angel."
Harry kissed the tip of Draco's nose, causing the little boy to scrunch up his nose like he had after the serious conversation in the hospital wing earlier in the day. Draco smiled tentatively. "All right, Harry."
"Good," Harry smiled in return. "Now let me introduce you to my best friends real quick, then we can finally read those books of yours. It's getting late and you need to be getting into bed."
Draco frowned, but he turned towards the two sitting on the couch. Hermione had been waiting patiently for a chance, and she came over, kneeling on the floor in front of their chair. She held out her hand and smiled. "Hello Draco, my name is Hermione Granger."
Draco shook her hand. "Pleasure to meet you," he said, in his little formal voice.
She grinned at him. "It's a pleasure for me, as well, to meet such a little gentleman," she said.
Draco finally gave her a shy smile at her words.
At a glare from Harry, Ron heaved himself off the couch and crouched down in front of Draco. He thrust out his hand. "I'm Ron Weasley and I sleep up in the dorms, too," he said.
Draco glanced at Harry for reassurance and when he received a nod, Draco tentatively shook Ron's hand. "I'm Draco Malfoy." Then he surprised everyone with his next words, deviating widely from the formal introductions with the others.
"I'm sorry if I hurt Harry before. I won't do it again. I'm sorry if I hurt you or . . ." he scrunched up his nose at Hermione, obviously trying to figure out how to say her name.
"Just call her Mione. She won't mind," Harry whispered.
Draco nodded and began again. "I'm sorry for getting into arg'ments with you and Mione," Draco said, finishing his apology.
Ron looked too shocked for speech upon receiving an actual apology from Draco Malfoy, even if he was only a four-year-old at the moment. Hermione answered for them both instead.
She smiled gently at Draco. "Apology accepted," she said softly. "And we're sorry, too, for what we said earlier at dinner." Ron nodded dumbly in agreement.
"It's all right," Draco said with his shy smile. He glanced up at Harry and then back to Harry's friends. "I understand now. You were just tying to protect him and that's a good thing."
"Yes, it is," Hermione nodded in agreement. "But I'm still sorry, because we should've taken the time to figure things out first."
Draco just shrugged his little shoulders.
"How about those stories now?" Harry asked, and Draco nodded.
Dean walked over, giving Harry back the blanket and books. Harry wrapped Draco up snuggly in the Quidditch themed blanket and started reading. Halfway through the second book, Harry glanced down at his precious bundle and realized that Draco was sound asleep. Setting the books aside, Harry carefully lifted Draco, carried him up to the dorm and tucked him into bed.
Chapter 3: Nightmares
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 3: Nightmares
Harry left the dorm room door open and made his way back down to the common room. Once again the room was fairly noisy and full of activity. There were several people studying, but there were also groups playing chess, playing exploding snap or just talking with their friends. Harry made his way back to the chair he'd been sitting in earlier to talk with his own friends.
"Your charge is quite the character, Harry," Hermione said, as Harry sat down.
Harry grinned. "Yeah, he is," he agreed.
"Are we okay, mate?" Ron asked tentatively.
Harry shrugged. "We are, if you lay off of Draco," he said.
Ron held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I don't pretend to understand, but I get the message," he said in defeat.
"Good," Harry said simply.
"But why are you the one taking care of him?" Ron whinged. "I just don't understand."
"It's because they're kindred souls," Hermione piped up.
Ron snorted, but Harry nodded thoughtfully, causing Ron to stare at him in shock.
"You don't believe that crap, do you?" Ron scoffed.
"Well, I don't know about kindred souls exactly," Harry admitted. "But I do understand how the little guy is feeling."
"You used to get laughed at in classes when you were little, just like we all laughed at Draco today, didn't you?" Hermione asked. It really wasn't much of a question.
Harry nodded. "Dudley always made sure I was the center of all the ridicule in primary school," he said bitterly. "It's not a fun place to be."
Ron looked horrified. "They laughed at you like that?"
"Yeah, only I didn't even have to do anything to cause it. Dudley and his gang were always bullying me and causing trouble. It was a lot to take at times," Harry admitted.
"You also didn't have anyone to turn to," Hermione pointed out.
Harry shook his head and tried to pull his thoughts together to explain how he was feeling to his friends. He wasn't used to opening up about his past, but maybe under the circumstances, it was time. Harry really wanted Ron to understand, and for him to understand, it meant Harry needed to explain his past.
"I grew up feeling scared, lonely, insecure and unloved. It's miserable," Harry said quietly. "I managed to take care of myself, but it was because I didn't have any other choice. I had no friends and was ridiculed and bullied on a regular basis. On top of that, I was neglected and often punished harshly for things that were no fault of my own, or even if I had done something wrong, the punishment far exceeded the crime."
Harry shook his head again, trying to clear away the old memories that were attempting to bring him down. "Anyway, that's how Draco is feeling right now—scared, lonely, insecure and unloved. Like I told Snape, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. He's just a little boy. As far as he's aware, he was just thrust from his comfortable bed into the middle of that classroom where he was being laughed at."
"Even by his own friends," Hermione pointed out.
"Exactly," Harry said. "It sounds corny, but my heart just ached for that poor little boy, and I couldn't just stand there and let everyone keep hurting him. He needed someone to be there for him."
"All right, I suppose I can understand now why you're wanting to take care of him, but why does he trust you so much?" Ron asked. "He certainly doesn't seem to trust anyone else."
"He doesn't. He doesn't even seem to trust his godfather." Harry shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure why he's chosen to trust me, but I guess it's because I was the first one to help him, when everyone else was laughing at him."
"I think that's true, but I also think it's more than that," Hermione said softly. "Harry, I think Draco can sense that you truly understand and care for him. Children know these things. And with every touch, your every action, your every word, you're proving time and time again that you care for him and will protect him. He knows this, and he trusts you because of it."
Harry and Ron were both looking at her a bit wide-eyed. Then Harry smiled softly as he remembered Draco's words at dinner. "He defended me at dinner tonight. When he was asked why he was letting me take care of him, he did mention that it was because I didn't laugh at him. But he also said it was because he felt safe with me, I call him angel, I hold him and allow him to cry and because I don't hurt him. In the words of Draco Malfoy, that's why he trusts me to take care of him."
Ron hadn't lost his wide-eyed look, but didn't get a chance to respond, because all of a sudden there was a terrified scream coming from the dorms. Harry was up in a flash and jumped over the couch in his way before flying up the stairs. Harry rushed across the dorm and gathered Draco up in his arms.
Harry was scanning the room from the moment he entered, but didn't see any immediate threats. Wands in hand, Ron and Hermione quickly checked over the room and the adjoining bathroom, just to be sure there was no immediate danger before sitting down on the edge of Harry's bed to silently watch.
Harry rocked Draco back and forth, murmuring calming words. When Draco's sobs had calmed to the occasional hiccup, Harry tried to determine what had actually terrified him.
"What happened, Draco?" Harry asked.
Draco just shook his head violently.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Harry tried again.
Draco nodded his head, his eyes screwed tightly closed.
"Can you tell me about it?" Harry asked.
Again, Draco shook his head violently.
"Shhh, it's all right. You're safe," Harry soothed. "Just remember that nightmares aren't really real, and they can't hurt you."
Draco shuddered in Harry's arms. Ron had gotten up and poured a fresh glass of water from the jug on the bedside table and passed it to Harry. Harry shot him a grateful glance and helped Draco to take a drink.
Harry thought about that shudder and had a scary thought. "Draco, was your nightmare about something that really happened? Kinda like a memory?" he asked.
Draco hesitated, but then nodded.
"Can you tell me about it?" Harry asked again, and once more Draco shook his head violently.
"Shhh," Harry soothed. "I think you'd feel better if you told me, but I'm not going to force you to."
Harry rocked silently for a few moments before speaking up again. "Sometimes I have nightmares about things that have really happened, too." Draco froze in Harry's arms, but Harry continued to speak softly. "They leave me feeling pretty scared, even though I know they happened in the past. I don't particularly like to talk about my nightmares either, because it's scary just thinking about them, let alone talking about them out loud," Harry admitted.
Harry glanced at his two best friends who were now sitting quietly on Harry's bed, simply listening as Harry talked to Draco. Both of them were looking at Harry with sympathy. He had to wonder just how much he was going to end up exposing of himself, all for Draco's sake.
Harry could readily see Hermione taking his admission and hounding him even more to talk about his nightmares. He could suddenly see her point better now, though. Harry didn't want to leave Draco to deal with his nightmares by himself. He sighed and averted his gaze back to Draco, who was now looking up at him.
"Really?" Draco whispered.
"Yes, really," Harry whispered back. "Sometimes it's just hard to talk about them at night. You try to forget about your nightmare for now and maybe we could talk about it tomorrow instead," he suggested.
Draco nodded. "I don't want to think about it now," he whispered.
"Would you feel better sleeping with me tonight?" Harry asked, a little hesitantly. He had always hated being alone after he had a nightmare when he was little. If he was truly honest with himself, he hated being alone now that he was older, too.
Draco stared at Harry. "You'd let me?" he asked tentatively.
"Of course," Harry said. "But I'm just a little worried that I might wake you up if I have my own nightmare," he admitted.
"That's okay," Draco said. "If you have a nightmare, then I'll protect you," the little boy said bravely.
Harry kissed him on the end of the nose and smiled at the nose scrunch he found so adorable. He wondered absently if part of the reason he found it so adorable was because he knew the older Draco would likely throw a total fit about it. Harry was pretty sure Malfoys weren't supposed to be 'adorable'. "Come on then, angel. Let's go crawl into my bed then."
Ron and Hermione moved, and Hermione pulled the covers back so that Harry could lay Draco down and then crawl into bed himself. Harry wrapped his arms protectively around the small boy, Draco snuggling up into Harry's warmth as Hermione pulled the blankets back up and tucked them both into bed. She kissed both Draco and Harry on their foreheads.
"Harry?" Draco whispered.
"Mmmm," was Harry's answer.
"Mione's tucking us into bed," Draco whispered. "And she kissed me on my head."
"Yeah, she does those kinds of things sometimes. It's kind of nice," Harry whispered back.
"Oh. Yeah, it is nice," he answered, before snuggling deeper under the covers and closing his eyes.
Harry sent Hermione a warm smile, then closed his own eyes. Both were soon asleep and never heard a thing as Ron and the other boys came in and quietly got ready for bed.
Harry awoke the next morning feeling truly refreshed for the first time in ages. It may have had something to do with being back at Hogwarts and the fact that he'd gotten to bed fairly early. But as he felt the warm body snuggled into his side, and the memories of the day before flooded back, Harry had to admit that it also probably had something to do with the little boy he was now in charge of temporarily.
The little body shifted and Harry opened his eyes to see silver eyes staring back at him. Harry smiled and those eyes crinkled as Draco's entire face lit up into a bright smile.
"Morning," he said cheerfully.
"Good morning, angel," Harry said tenderly. Already this little boy had stolen a piece of his heart, and as sappy as it sounded even in his head, Harry wasn't sure he'd ever get it back.
"Ready for your first day of classes at Hogwarts?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded enthusiastically. "I can't wait!" he exclaimed.
Harry grinned at the boy's enthusiasm. A good night's sleep seemed to have done wonders for Draco, too. "Why don't you go pick some clothes to wear then," Harry suggested.
Harry chuckled as Draco scrambled from the bed and stumbled in his hurry to gather his clothes. Draco just gave Harry a wide grin as he got his things. Harry climbed out of bed and began gathering his own clothes for the day.
Slowly the other boys in the dorm began waking. Ron woke up grumbling as usual.
"Why are you so bloody cheerful?" he grumbled at Draco, who was grinning broadly. His grin faltered though at Ron's words.
"Just ignore him," Harry said, buttoning up Draco's robes. "He's grouchy with everyone in the mornings."
Ron scowled at Harry. "See, he's grouchy with me, too," Harry said with a smile, as he finished up with the buttons and smoothed the front of Draco's robes.
Ron blinked his bleary eyes and took another look at what Draco was wearing. "You're putting him in red robes?" he asked incredulously.
Draco frowned down at his clothes. "I picked them out myself. Is there something wrong with them?" he asked quietly.
Seamus grinned at him from his side of the room. "There's not a thing wrong with them, little man. Ron's just jealous because you look better in Gryffindor red than he does." Seamus ducked, laughing as Ron threw a pillow at him.
"They're not even Gryffindor robes," Harry explained. "Unlike our black robes with our house crest, Draco's wearing children's robes. These just happen to be a basic red color." Harry was only going to admit to himself that he found Draco's color choice amusing as well.
"It's still a Gryffindor color," Ron said wryly. "I just can't believe he's wearing red robes."
"I think they look good on him," Neville spoke up quietly. "He looks like a little wizard should."
At Neville's words, Draco finally lost his frown and he offered Neville a shy smile, and Neville offered Draco his own shy smile in return.
For Harry's part, he sent Neville a grateful smile before turning back to Draco and straightening the hood on his robes. "See, listen to Neville, Draco. I think you look fantastic. And if anybody tries to give you a hard time about your robes, you can just proudly tell them you look like a little wizard should."
Harry grinned to see the proud smile Draco was now sporting. "Now run in and use the loo while I finish getting ready, so then we can go down to breakfast," Harry said.
Draco scampered off to the loo to do as he was told, as Harry started quickly getting himself dressed for the day.
Soon enough, Draco was proudly wearing his bag, arms in both straps so that it was resting snugly on his back. He tucked his hand into Harry's and they made their way down to the common room with Ron in tow, still grumbling about mornings being too early in the day.
"Good Morning, Draco," Hermione said brightly from where she was waiting for them.
"Good Morning, Mione," Draco said, offering her his shy smile.
"Ready for breakfast?" she asked.
Draco nodded. "I'm starved."
"Now that I can relate to," Ron declared, causing Hermione and Harry to laugh as they opened the portrait hole to leave.
Harry was only a little surprised when Crabbe and Goyle stepped forward, as the Gryffindors, along with Draco, emerged into the hallway. He was surprised they'd come up here this early in the morning, but they had escorted him and Draco up to Gryffindor tower the night before after all.
Ron and Hermione, though, hadn't witnessed that, and they were completely shocked at the sight of the two very large Slytherins.
Ron immediately had his wand out. "What are you two goons doing here? Aren't you a little out of your territory?" he shouted.
Crabbe and Goyle both stepped forward threateningly. "We're not going to take that kind of talk from you," Crabbe sneered.
Draco was already clutching Harry's leg tightly and trying to hide behind Harry's robes. Harry refused to let this go any further. As far as Harry knew, the Slytherins meant no harm, and Harry wanted to stay on their good side. Besides, this rivalry stuff was getting really old.
Harry held his hands up between Ron and Crabbe and Goyle, giving them all a hard glare. He was kind of surprised when that was all it took, but went with it.
Ron was totally freaked out when Harry's glare was just as effective on the large Slytherins, and they backed off a couple of steps, even as Ron lowered his wand.
Hermione had been standing there looking torn and she too stared wide-eyed when the two Slytherins backed off without even a word spoken by Harry.
"Good morning," Harry said to the two Slytherins. They both nodded to Harry.
"Draco," Harry called softly.
Draco cautiously inched out from where he'd hidden behind Harry. "Everything's fine. Let's head down to breakfast," Harry said calmly.
Draco looked up warily through his fringe at the other four teenagers and blindly reached for Harry's hand. Harry gave him a reassuring smile and they started off without another word. Crabbe and Goyle immediately fell into step slightly behind and to either side of them.
Hermione and Ron were left standing, staring after the others for several moments.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked, bemused by the events.
Hermione was sounding almost as confused as Ron. "I guess they're still looking after their friend," she said with a shrug.
"But since when do they listen to Harry?" Ron asked plaintively.
Hermione gave another helpless shrug. "I don't know." They exchanged confused glances, then hurried to catch up with the others. They glanced warily at Crabbe and Goyle, but fell into step on either side of Harry and Draco.
Draco may have been a little unsure still about the four people walking with them, but he seemed to appreciate the protection they offered all the same. The closer they got to the Great Hall, the more people there were, and he walked just a little closer to Harry.
As they stepped into the Great Hall, the group paused and Harry crouched down to eye level with Draco. "Draco, where do you want to sit this morning?"
Draco's gaze flicked nervously between the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables. He was obviously still wary of both. Harry was, too, for that matter, but he was hoping to put Draco more at ease.
"How about this," Harry said. "We can have breakfast at the Slytherin table and then we can try lunch at the Gryffindor table."
Draco's gaze flicked back and forth once again, but then he gave a firm nod in agreement. Harry gave him a smile and then stood up again.
"We'll meet you guys after breakfast, then to go to Transfiguration," Harry said to Hermione and Ron.
Ron was glaring and started to say something, until Hermione elbowed him in the ribs. "That'll be fine," Hermione said. "Enjoy your breakfast, Draco," she said, giving the boy a smile. "You, too, Harry," she said, with a slightly worried glance at the Slytherin table.
Draco and Harry both smiled at her and, ignoring Ron's gaping like a fish, they followed Crabbe and Goyle over to the Slytherin table.
Snape had stalked over from the Head Table and stopped them before they could sit down between Crabbe and Goyle.
"Potter, why is my godson wearing red?" Snape asked, sneering in disgust.
Draco stood up to his full height proudly. "I picked my robes out myself this morning. I look fantastic, just like a little wizard should," he said haughtily, with his nose in the air. It was behavior so reminiscent of his sixteen-year-old self that several of the Slytherins snickered quietly.
Harry coughed, covering his mouth with his hand, attempting to cover up his grin and the laughter that was threatening to escape. It was even more hilarious because Draco was parroting Neville's and Harry's words from that morning.
Snape closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dumbledore," he muttered.
Harry nodded, still trying to suppress his grin. "I didn't buy his clothes, sir."
Snape glared at Harry, but then he sighed and nodded. He looked down at his godson. "Draco, are you doing all right?" he asked the little boy.
"I'm fine, sir," Draco answered, sidling a little closer to Harry.
"Very well, then," Snape said. "Potter, come to me immediately if there are any problems," he demanded.
"Yes, sir," Harry said calmly.
Snape stared at Harry momentarily, then spun on his heel, his robes billowing behind him.
Harry sighed and picked Draco up and set him on the bench, helping him to take his bag off his shoulders. Harry was grateful when Pansy passed him a plate already loaded for Draco as he sat down himself. It was going to be another long day if Harry continued to get into confrontations every time he turned around.
"Did you sleep well?" Pansy asked innocently after they'd all been eating for a few minutes. Draco's spoon promptly clattered against his bowl of porridge as he dropped it.
Harry sighed and put his own spoon down. Pansy looked at Harry questioningly, even as Blaise gave him a knowing look. "Nightmares?" Blaise asked.
Harry nodded, even as he turned to face Draco. "Draco, I told you we could talk about it today if you wanted, but we're certainly not going to worry about it during breakfast."
Draco still had his head hanging down and Harry tipped his chin up, giving Draco a kiss on his forehead and hoping the reassuring gesture would help. "Just forget about it for now and finish your breakfast. Remember, we have classes to go to in just a little while," Harry said.
Draco stared at Harry for a few moments, then squared his shoulders and went back to his breakfast.
The three Slytherin boys, who normally shared a dorm with Draco, all exchanged glances. Blaise raised an eyebrow in question to Crabbe and Goyle and they both nodded after glancing briefly at Harry, then Draco. Harry raised his own eyebrow in question after witnessing the silent exchange.
Blaise still seemed to be debating with himself for a couple more moments, then he nodded at Harry before turning to Draco.
"Hey, Draco," he said, getting the boy's attention. "Would you mind if I borrowed Potter, er, Harry, for a few minutes? I'm just going to take him right over there and you'll be able to see him the whole time," Blaise said, pointing over to the side of the Great Hall.
Draco looked at Harry worriedly.
"It'll be fine, angel. I won't be far and you can just yell if you need me. I'll only be a few minutes," Harry tried to reassure his charge, who had barely left Harry's side since the accident had happened the day before.
"You're not going to hurt him?" Draco asked Blaise suspiciously.
Blaise shook his head. "No, Draco. I know better than to hurt anything of yours," he said with a smirk in Harry's direction.
Draco still eyed him suspiciously for a moment, and then he nodded. "All right," Draco said to Blaise, even though he still looked a bit worried.
Blaise got up and walked around the table and Harry gave Draco another kiss on the forehead, telling him to finish eating while he talked to Blaise. Harry and Blaise met about fifteen feet away from where Draco was eyeing them in concern. They were still close, but far enough away to remain out of hearing range.
"You are aware that you've been claimed by a Malfoy?" Blaise asked, smirking at Harry.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm very aware that he's got me wrapped around his little finger," he said wryly.
Blaise let out a burst of surprised laughter. "You've got it figured out better than I realized," he grinned. Then he sobered. "So, do you also realize that what I told Draco was the truth?"
Harry looked at him confused.
"It wasn't a joke when I told Draco that I know better than to hurt anything of his. And you seem to be essentially his now. There's at least a few of us, if not all of us, that will be leaving you alone while you're caring for Draco," Blaise explained.
Harry was very thankful to hear Blaise's words. If the Slytherins were really willing to let rivalries go, at least for the duration of Draco's unusual circumstances, then it would be a whole lot easier on everyone. Harry didn't want to make a big deal out of it though.
Harry shrugged as he stared over at the small boy who was still watching them worriedly. Harry smiled and gave him a small wave. "He has to have someone and I'm just grateful it can be me," Harry said softly.
"You really are looking out for his best interests, aren't you, Potter?" Blaise asked.
Harry nodded. "I'll do whatever is necessary to protect him," he said simply.
"Yeah, well, we're noticing that, and that's kind of why I asked to talk to you," Blaise said, sounding a touch nervous.
"What do you have to say, Zabini?" Harry asked.
"You might as well call me 'Blaise'. I think Draco will insist on it, anyway," Blaise said with a wry smile.
"True, so if you can bear the misery, you can call me 'Harry' as well," Harry said, smirking at Blaise.
Blaise rolled his eyes, but nodded regardless. "It just might take a little getting used to."
Harry shrugged. "Yeah, but worth it for Draco's sake."
Blaise eyed him contemplatively. "Good answer. What I'm about to tell you is for Draco's sake. If you ever dare to use this information against him, particularly when he's back to himself, then you'll pay dearly."
Harry shrugged off the threat easily. "I'd never do that to him. I gather you've got information regarding his nightmares and if you can offer me any help, then I'll gladly accept it. Whether a person's four or sixteen, they don't deserve to be dealing with that kind of misery."
Blaise looked at him suspiciously. "You're speaking from experience, aren't you?"
Harry ran a hand through his hair agitatedly, even as a look of pain flicked briefly across his features. "Yeah, I am." He locked eyes with Blaise. "I wouldn't wish nightmares like mine on my worst enemy," he said firmly, his voice low and full of conviction. "And judging by what little I could determine last night, Draco is dealing with his own personal torture when he sleeps at night."
Blaise nodded slowly and when he spoke his voice was just as low and intense as Harry's had been. "I didn't realize Draco's nightmares had started so early, but he still deals with them fairly frequently. I would guess they've eased up some since you got his father locked up in Azkaban, though."
Harry closed his eyes as Blaise continued talking, confirming his suspicions. "Draco has nightmares about his father. His father punishes him—rather severely."
"That's what I was afraid of," Harry said quietly, running both hands through his hair now in his agitation. "How am I supposed to help him deal with that?" he asked helplessly. He could feel the frustration and anger building inside him.
Blaise shrugged. "I don't know, Harry. I just thought you should know. Draco refuses to talk about it at all. The only reason I know anything, really, is because there's been a few times that he forgot to put up silencing charms around his bed and we could all hear him pleading for mercy from his father in his sleep." Blaise was looking miserable and somewhat helpless himself.
Suddenly, Harry turned and slammed his fist into the stone wall, needing some kind of release for his anger. "I fucking hate that man," he said, anger blazing in his eyes and the fierce expression on his face making him look dangerous.
Blaise stared at him wide-eyed. Draco came running over, wrapped his arms around Harry's legs and glared at Blaise accusingly.
"You said you wouldn't hurt him," he said as fiercely as he could.
Blaise was still speechless over Harry's show of anger, but Harry took a deep breath and crouched down to talk to Draco. "Draco, Blaise didn't hurt me," he said firmly. "I chose to punch the wall because I got angry about something and I didn't want to hurt Blaise or anyone else here."
"But Blaise is the one who made you mad," Draco still sounded accusing and shot another glare at Blaise.
Harry realized that Snape was now standing there, but ignored him in his attempt to reassure Draco.
"No, Draco. Blaise told me a few things and it just made me think about someone else. That someone else is who I'm angry with, not Blaise," Harry explained.
Draco eyed Harry and then Blaise suspiciously before turning back to Harry. "So who are you angry with then?" he asked.
"Just an old acquaintance of mine that I've had a few run-ins with in the past. It's no one that's here now," Harry explained. He wasn't about to tell Draco that he was angry with Draco's own father. Harry locked eyes with Draco, making sure he had the boy's full attention. "You just remember that I'm not angry with you at all," Harry said tenderly, yet firmly.
When you were the one that often took the brunt of other people's anger, it tended to make you a lot more fearful when people were angry. Harry knew he probably looked pretty angry still, but he didn't want Draco thinking that Harry was angry with him, or that he'd be hurt at all because of it.
Draco stared for a moment, and then flung his arms around Harry's neck. Harry hugged him back.
"Potter, I'd like a private word. Draco, go with Blaise back to the table and finish your breakfast," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Draco knew what that tone meant and pulled away from Harry. He looked horribly torn and on the verge of tears.
"Go with Blaise while I talk to your godfather. I promise I'll be back soon," Harry said, smiling reassuringly at Draco.
A/N: Give me at least a few days, but I promise I'll be back soon with the next chapter! *grin* Many thanks for the reviews and the amazing response to this fic! ~~Biza
Chapter 4: Allies and Story Time
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 4: Allies and Story Time
Draco slowly walked back to his seat at the table, continually glancing back at Harry worriedly.
Snape waved his wand and cast a Silencing bubble around them, so that there was no possibility of them being overheard. Harry was a little surprised that Snape was willing to have this discussion in the Great Hall, but was pleased, nonetheless, that the man wasn't taking him out of Draco's sight. Draco was scared enough as it was, and maybe Snape realized that, too. Harry wasn't sure if he was actually in trouble or not.
"Now, would you care to tell me what had you so angry that you decided to attack the wall?" Snape asked quietly, in a low but very dangerous tone.
Harry knew immediately that if he didn't have a very good reason for his anger, and if it had no relation to Draco, then he was in some serious trouble. Maybe he was wrong, but it seemed to Harry that Snape might be willing to overlook his behavior, more interested in finding out if there was a concern regarding Draco. The reminder of exactly why Snape wanted to talk to him brought Harry's simmering anger boiling to the surface again. His anger was very much on Draco's behalf, adding to the hatred he already had for Lucius Malfoy.
Harry deliberated, turning away from Draco and keeping his head down so the little boy wouldn't see the dark expression Harry knew was gracing his features again. "In all likelihood, Voldemort will help his Death Eaters escape soon and then I'll have an easier opportunity to fucking kill Lucius Malfoy," Harry said furiously.
Harry didn't register the shock that crossed Snape's features for a few seconds, but many others around the Hall did. Snape gave a tiny shake of his head, and then stared intently at Harry.
"Pray tell me why it is that you suddenly wish to commit murder?" he asked smoothly.
Harry glared darkly at his professor, but for once Snape seemed to recognize that the glare wasn't actually being directed at him, and let it slide. Harry would have been extremely surprised if he knew that Snape was wondering if it was a good or a bad thing that Lucius wasn't there in front of Harry at the moment.
"That man doesn't deserve to call Draco his son," Harry spat.
Snape's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What exactly have you learned?" he asked.
"Not as much as I'd like, if I intend to help Draco, but so help me, I'll do whatever I can to help him regardless," Harry said angrily. Snape glared and Harry went on to explain what little he knew. "Draco woke up screaming from a nightmare last night. He was absolutely terrified. I talked to him, but all I could get out of him was that it was a nightmare based on something that had actually happened. I calmed him down and said we'd talk about it today."
"And Blaise?" Snape questioned.
"Blaise doesn't know much but he wanted me to be aware that Draco still has nightmares pretty frequently. He said the only reason he knows what little he does is because Draco has forgotten to put Silencing charms around his bed a few times," Harry explained.
"What else?" Snape asked, eyes narrowing even more.
If anything, Harry's expression became even darker; his fists tightly clenched at his sides. "The fucking bastard has been punishing Draco severely, at least since before he turned four. Blaise didn't know anything more, except, the couple of times he heard Draco having his nightmares, he could hear him pleading to his father for mercy. No child should have to plead for mercy from their father."
Snape looked a cross between horrified and absolutely livid. It wasn't a pleasant combination. He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly, just as Harry had earlier.
"Why didn't I know about this?" Snape asked. His voice registered both his growing fury and frustration. Harry knew how angry he was himself about this, and could only guess how Snape was feeling. Draco was his godson, and yet he hadn't known that Draco was going through nightmares because of his father. They didn't even know exactly what Lucius had done to Draco.
"Just a guess, but I'd be willing to bet that Lucius threatened Draco's life if he told anyone. The miserable fucking bastard," Harry spat. "Beyond that, I'm sure Draco threatened Blaise and his other dorm mates if they said anything. Blaise said that Draco refused to talk about it."
It was a testament to how furious Snape himself was at Lucius, that he wasn't even commenting, let alone docking points for Harry's language or attitude.
"So, why did Blaise tell you?" Snape sneered.
Harry gave Snape a death glare that rivaled his own. "Because Blaise has figured out that I'll do whatever I can for Draco. He's hoping that maybe I can help Draco, seeing as how Draco is more willing to talk at this age, at least to me."
Suddenly, Snape's fist slammed into the stone wall, and Harry's eyes widened, shocked that Severus Snape, the widely-acknowledged Master of Control himself, would react the same way he had. He knew of quite a few males that tended to hit things when they got extremely angry, but he never would have expected that kind of reaction from Snape. It was almost expected of males like Uncle Vernon and Dudley, but certainly not men like Snape.
Harry wasn't exactly proud of his own behavior and he'd be willing to bet that Snape wasn't going to be happy with himself for losing control like that—especially since it mimicked Harry's own reaction. Then again, maybe it was the power of suggestion in the anger of the moment.
What else was Snape supposed to do? Whip out his wand and start hexing Harry or Blaise as the messengers? Snape probably wanted to do exactly that, and Harry felt he should be damn thankful that Snape was hitting the wall instead. If nothing else, at least Harry knew Snape wasn't going to be punishing him for his behavior now.
Whatever his reason for hitting the wall, Snape's frustration and fury had obviously reached a point of needing some type of release as well. Harry wasn't particularly surprised by this, figuring that Snape's frustration could have easily tipped over the edge of control with the idea that Harry Potter, of all people, was the one that Draco was trusting, rather than himself, in addition to everything else.
Snape and Harry didn't have a good history, but at that exact moment, Harry felt an affinity with the man. Harry raised a brow. "Doesn't help much, but it feels at least a little satisfying, doesn't it?" he asked.
Snape gave a curt nod. He pulled his wand and cast a spell healing his hand, gestured for Harry's hand and healed his as well.
"You will keep me informed as to what you learn," Snape said curtly.
Harry simply nodded.
"And Potter," Snape said very quietly. "I will personally help you kill him."
Harry nodded again, not exactly surprised by Snape's declaration. "Yes, sir."
Snape waved his wand again, dropping the Silencing bubble. They turned as one to go back to their respective tables. Harry realized two things at once. Draco was sobbing as Blaise was attempting to hold him back and the rest of the room was absolutely silent as they stared in shock at Harry and Snape. Harry could care less about the rest of the room at the moment and focused on Draco.
As soon as Blaise realized Harry's attention was on Draco, he let him go and the little bundle came flying into Harry's arms. Harry dropped to his knees and rocked the crying boy, burying his face in Draco's hair, even as Draco's face was buried in his robes. Harry murmured to him soothingly and gradually Draco began to calm down to the infrequent, hiccupping sobs.
"Harry," Blaise spoke from above them. Harry looked up and realized that Blaise was holding out a handkerchief. He took it and began wiping Draco's face and helping him blow his nose.
"I'm going to have to get some of these," Harry muttered to himself.
Blaise heard him and gave Harry a smirk. "Draco has a ton of them down in the dorm."
Draco looked up curiously. "I have more things here?" he asked. Obviously the boy hadn't thought about that.
Blaise nodded. "You have a ton of things down in the Slytherin dorms, just waiting for you to come back."
"Would you like to go take a look later?" Harry asked. "If nothing else, I can snag those handkerchiefs," he muttered.
Blaise smirked at Harry, but spoke to Draco. "I could take you both there after classes today if you'd like," he offered.
Draco's eyes lit up a little. "I'd like that," he said shyly. But then he turned back to Harry remembering the events of the morning. He picked up Harry's hand, examining it closely.
"My hand is fine, Draco. Your godfather is fine, too. He healed us both up, good as new," Harry said cheerfully.
Draco's chin quivered a little. "I was scared. You both looked so angry," he whispered.
Harry could have hit himself. "Draco," he said firmly, locking eyes with the little boy. "I don't care how angry I get. I will never hurt you. I'm not angry with you and even if I was, I'd still never hurt you."
"But what about Sev'rus?" Draco asked in a very small voice. "He's friends with my father."
Only for Draco's sake was Harry able to willfully school his features into a calm mask. Draco didn't realize, thankfully, but Blaise noticed the sudden fists clenched behind Draco's back.
"Draco, the same goes for Severus. It doesn't matter if he's friends with your father or not. Severus will never hurt you, whether he's angry with you, or someone else like he was today," Harry explained.
Draco still looked worried and Harry searched for a way to get through to this boy who was breaking his heart. "Draco, did you see how we both punched the wall?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded.
"Well, you see, we did that because we were angry and didn't want to hurt anybody. Just like me, if Severus gets too angry and wants to lash out at something, he'll hit a wall instead," Harry explained.
Harry and Blaise both noticed that Draco flinched when Harry mentioned lashing out at something. Harry's fists clenched even tighter behind Draco. Without realizing it, Draco was just confirming their suspicions. It seemed that Lucius Malfoy had a tendency to lash out at Draco in one way or another.
Draco was finally looking calmer, though, and had a thoughtful expression on his face. "So, if I get in trouble, Sev'rus won't hurt me? He'll just hit a wall if he gets too mad?" he asked quietly.
Harry simply nodded.
Draco turned to Blaise. "And you really didn't do anything to hurt Harry?" he asked.
"No, Draco, I told you I wouldn't do anything to hurt him and I didn't," Blaise answered softly.
Draco sighed. "So, everything's all right then?" he asked Harry.
Harry smiled gently. "Yes, everything is all right. I think breakfast is about over. What do you say we get our bags and head to class? Do you still feel up to it?" Harry asked.
Draco scrambled to his feet and nodded eagerly, rushing over to get his bag. Harry blinked, a little astounded that Draco could switch moods so readily.
"Are we in trouble with Snape?" Blaise asked quickly and quietly.
Harry shook his head. "No. He's just angry at Lucius."
They didn't have time to say anything else as they reached the table. Draco was struggling to get his arms through the straps on his bag. Harry helped him get the backpack settled and picked up his own bag.
He held his hand out to Draco. "Ready?" Harry asked cheerfully, ready to move on himself and deal with the repercussions of all this later.
"Yeah!" Draco exclaimed.
Harry laughed. "I wish I had as much enthusiasm as you about going to class this morning," he said ruefully as they began walking.
"Me, too," Blaise muttered, walking on the other side of Draco. Crabbe and Goyle were quietly following along behind them. As they neared the main doors, Hermione and Ron came up on the other side of Harry.
"I'll get to see everyone doing magic," Draco said excitedly.
Harry grinned down at him. "Maybe we didn't need to pack any activities for you to do in class today. You're going to be too busy watching everyone," he said humorously.
"Unless you've got Binns today. But you still wouldn't need anything for him to do because he'd just be asleep like everyone else," Blaise said chuckling.
Harry and Ron both laughed along with Blaise, as Hermione glared. Harry was a little impressed that Ron was laughing instead of glaring. He wondered how much Hermione had been lecturing Ron over breakfast. Whatever the reason for everyone getting along, at least temporarily, Harry was grateful for it.
He was also extremely grateful that Hermione and Ron weren't badgering him to explain what had just happened in the Great Hall. Harry and Draco had both had enough upset for the time being, and for once Harry's friends seemed to realize it. Either that, or they knew Harry would explode if they dared to upset Draco again by questioning Harry right now.
"Doesn't anybody take notes in that class besides me?" Hermione huffed.
Blaise looked down at Draco ruefully. "Actually, Draco normally does, so I guess I'm going to be in trouble until he gets sorted out. Pansy usually takes notes, maybe I can talk her into sharing them," he said thoughtfully.
"Then you best be thinking about what you've got to give me in return," Pansy spoke up from behind Blaise.
He spun around and walked backwards, facing her. "Ah, come on, Pansy dear. You know you want to share because you love me," Blaise said sweetly, batting his long dark lashes at her.
Pansy gave a very unladylike snort. "In your dreams, Zabini," she snapped, even while she was trying to suppress a smile.
Blaise winked at her before turning around to walk forward again.
Harry was chuckling. "Merlin, I've got a major sense of déjà vu. It appears that it doesn't matter which house you're in, the pleading for history notes is still the same." Ron and Hermione both glared at their friend.
"Don't give me that glare, Ron," Harry laughed. "We've done the exact same pleading with Hermione, as Blaise just pleaded with Pansy. And I'd be willing to bet that Pansy ends up giving in, just like Hermione does, because they pity us helpless blokes that are affected with a sleeping spell minutes upon entering Binns' classroom."
They all laughed at Harry's words, but Hermione and Pansy each leaned forward a little and exchanged a glance.
"I think we should make them suffer," Pansy said conversationally to Hermione.
"Or make them pay big time," Hermione agreed.
The girls both nodded to each other, then stared straight ahead, ignoring the boys.
"Merlin, Harry! Why'd you have to go and open your big mouth for?" Ron exclaimed.
"Yeah, Harry! Now we're screwed!" Blaise cried out.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was just trying to point out that the people in our two houses really aren't as different as we've always thought," Harry said helplessly. Ironically enough, they were all getting along at the moment, as all of them were ganging up against Harry now.
"Yeah, now all of us blokes are stuck without history notes," Ron mock snarled.
"When we find someone else to mooch notes off of, Weasley, we'll just have to leave Harry out of the loop," Blaise said.
"Agreed," Ron said decisively.
He could play this game, Harry thought with an inward grin. He gazed sorrowfully down at Draco, who had been listening to the interchange with wide eyes. "Well, Draco, I guess it's just you and me. I'll have to rely on you keeping me awake in History of Magic, after all, so I can actually take notes for a change."
"Sure, put the pressure on the four-year-old," Pansy scoffed.
Harry shrugged helplessly. "Well, if I had access to someone else's notes . . ., " he said, trailing off slowly.
"Fine!" Hermione huffed, giving in. "You're not going to take advantage of a little boy."
"I'm not about to let you use Draco either," Pansy huffed, giving in as well.
Blaise and Ron suppressed grins at Harry's underhandedness in using Draco as leverage, as Harry turned his gaze back down to Draco. "That was a close call," Harry stage-whispered conspiratorially. "We owe the girls big time because they just saved our nap time in Binns' class."
"Damn right you owe us," Pansy mock sulked, and Hermione was nodding in agreement.
"Ah, we'll make it up to you two somehow," Harry promised with a grin.
"I think you could have done fairly well in Slytherin," Blaise said with admiration.
Harry gave him a sly wink and a wicked smirk. "I know," he said simply. The others stopped short and stared at Harry in shock, but Harry didn't give them a chance to ask questions as he entered the Transfiguration classroom with Draco.
Harry chose seats in the middle and at the back of the classroom. In the middle, because they would be in between the Gryffindor and Slytherin sides of the class. In the back, because Harry hoped that he'd be able to keep Draco out of the limelight, at least a little.
Hermione and Ron sat on Harry's side and Blaise and Pansy sat on the other side of Draco. Crabbe and Goyle, quiet as usual, sat directly in front of Harry and Draco. Harry was thankful because the bulk of the two Slytherins would help to shield Draco from the rest of the class. He briefly debated whether they'd deliberately sat there for that reason and decided they must have. They were nothing if not loyal to Draco. The last day had only reinforced that fact.
Harry relieved Draco of his backpack and helped him get out the crayons and some blank parchment so he could draw if he chose to during class. It was the first class of the year and Harry figured it likely that they would be taking notes, at least for awhile, if not the entire time.
As Draco began happily coloring, Hermione got Harry's attention. She and Ron were looking at him worriedly.
"Are you okay?" Hermione whispered quietly.
Harry nodded. "I'm fine."
"Are you going to tell us what the bloody hell happened this morning?" Ron asked.
"We saw how upset Draco was and didn't dare ask earlier," Hermione added, giving the little boy a concerned glance.
Harry glanced at Draco. "I don't think now is a good time either," he said quietly.
"Just answer one question," Ron said. "Were you and Snape actually getting along?" he asked, his face twisted up in a grimace. The very idea was unbelievable.
Harry's expression darkened for a moment before he masked it. "Let's just say that we agree on at least one thing," he said. Harry glanced at Draco again. "Make that two things," he added.
Professor McGonagall began class then, which left no opportunity for conversation. Draco quietly colored while everyone else took notes the first half of class. The second half of class was spent doing some review and Draco's colors were forgotten.
They practiced the vanishing spells that had been the practical for the owl exams. Draco was wide-eyed at the Iguana Harry was given to practice on and his eyes were bulging as Harry vanished it. "Wow!" he breathed. Draco sure knew how to make Harry feel like he'd really accomplished something. Harry was grinning along with Draco as they watched the others practice the spell, too.
After Transfiguration, Harry and Draco followed Ron and Hermione to the dreaded History of Magic classroom that had been discussed earlier in the morning. Harry didn't even bother unpacking anything from his and Draco's bags. He snuggled Draco in his lap and the boy was soon sleeping soundly. Harry was out soon after, his head resting on top of Draco's, even as his arms stayed locked around Draco.
Hermione glanced over and simply gave them a gentle smile before she turned back to her notes. Binns never even noticed that there was a small child in the room, let alone that he was sound asleep in a student's lap who wasn't working at all.
Soon enough, Hermione nudged Harry awake. Harry gently woke Draco and they left for lunch. Draco approached the Gryffindor table nervously, but Harry approached confidently. Harry was certain that they would have a much better reception than they'd had at dinner the night before, especially since classes had gone well over the morning without anyone causing much fuss.
Harry got Draco settled between himself and Hermione and Ron sat on the other side of Harry. Whether at the Gryffindor or the Slytherin table, Harry and Draco were sandwiched between people who would protect them.
As Harry began filling Draco's plate, Neville, Seamus, Dean and Ginny dropped down in the seats across from the foursome.
"Hey, little man," Seamus greeted cheerfully, in his usual boisterous manner.
Draco offered his shy smile. "Hi Seamus," he said quietly.
Seamus winked at him. "Did you and Harry have a good nap?" he asked.
"Yes, we did, thank you very much," Harry retorted, answering for Draco.
Ginny stood and offered her hand to Draco across the table. "We haven't been introduced yet," she said. "I'm Ginny Weasley, Ron's little sister."
Draco shook her hand gravely. "I'm Draco Malfoy. Pleased to meet you," he said in his formal, adorable-for-a-four-year-old voice.
"I'm happy to meet you, too, Draco," Ginny said with a grin as she sat back down.
"Are you managing to keep Harry out of trouble?" she asked mischievously, with a wink at Harry.
Seamus snorted. "Not with the display Harry put on this morning."
Harry shook his head, but his fellow Gryffindors obviously didn't get the message. "Yeah, Harry, what in the world was going on this morning?" Dean asked.
"Nothing," Harry said shortly.
This just caused the oblivious Seamus to snort again. "Yeah right. You and Snape were both punching the wall this morning. What the bloody hell was going on?"
Draco had dropped his fork and was trembling once again at the reminder of what had happened that morning. Harry glared at Seamus, then turned to look at Draco. He tipped Draco's chin up. "Remember what I said this morning?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded.
"There's no reason to be scared. You just remember that neither Severus nor I will ever hurt you and we're not going to let anyone else hurt you either," Harry said firmly.
Harry was aware that the surrounding Gryffindors went wide-eyed at hearing Harry call their professor by his first name, but he ignored them, keeping his focus on Draco.
"I remember," Draco said softly.
"Good," Harry said. "Now do you remember what I said about how sometimes people say things because they're trying to protect people they care about?" he asked.
Draco frowned in confusion, but nodded. "I remember," he said again.
"Well, just like you are concerned about what happened this morning, my friends are worried, too," Harry explained. "They're not trying to scare you. Just like you, they want to know if I'm okay after what happened. They're also a bit curious because I don't normally go around punching walls," Harry said wryly.
"Oh," Draco said, a look of understanding crossing his face. "And I bet they're worried because you usually have arg'ments with Sev'rus, too."
Harry gave the boy a rueful grin. "Yes, angel, that would be one of the reasons why they're asking questions," he admitted.
"Okay, well then," Draco said, turning to face the others. He took a deep breath then launched into his explanation. "Well, first Blaise took Harry away saying he had something to tell him and I thought he was hurting Harry. I didn't even want Harry to go away in the first place but Harry said it would be okay. But then Harry punched the wall and I thought Blaise did something to make Harry mad. Harry said that he didn't, though. He said Blaise just gave him some information and it made him think of someone else who made him mad."
Draco looked thoughtful for half a second. "I still don't know what the information was, though, that Blaise told Harry. But I don't think it matters," Draco said, shaking his head, answering his own question. He took another deep breath and dived back into his explanation.
"Well, then Harry set me straight and he said everything was okay and Blaise didn't do nothing wrong. He told me he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but I didn't really think he would. I was just scared that Blaise hurt my Harry. I thought things were going to be okay then, but then things just got worse." Draco paused to take a deep breath.
Harry was smiling in amusement at Draco's version of what had happened that morning. Once Draco got going, it was fun listening to him chatter away. The other Gryffindors were staring at Draco in various states of amusement, mixed with confusion and wonder, at Draco's tale. Harry didn't think anyone had missed Draco saying "my Harry", either. Harry had seen the eyes widen just a little further at Draco's calm declaration in the midst of his story.
"Well, then Sev'rus came over and he made Blaise take me to the table. He wanted Harry to tell him what Blaise said. I didn't want Harry to go away again, but Harry just said it would be okay like he had before. I'm not sure it mattered what Harry said, because when Sev'rus tells you to do something in that way, he really means it," Draco declared, nodding his head for emphasis.
Harry grinned as all the Gryffindors wrapped up in Draco's story automatically nodded with Draco in agreement. And truth be told, they all knew very well what Snape sounded like when he commanded you to do something. You listened, or you knew there would be dire consequences to pay.
"I listened to Sev'rus because I didn't dare not to," Draco continued. "But Harry wouldn't have told me it was okay if it really wasn't okay. Harry tells me the truth. Well, anyway, Blaise took me back to the table and Harry went away with Sev'rus. But then I got really scared again. Harry looked really scary but I know he won't hurt me. But Sev'rus," Draco trailed off momentarily as a shudder passed through his body.
Harry placed an arm around him reassuringly and Draco picked up where he'd left off.
"Sev'rus looked really scary," Draco whispered. "I was really, really scared that he was going to hurt my Harry, or even someone else."
Draco paused and took another deep breath. This was the horror part of his tale and he had everyone hanging on his every word, even as he was remembering his terror.
Hermione patted Draco's arm. "It's okay, Draco. We understand because he looked really scary to us, too."
Draco nodded fervently. "Well, that's just it. He looked so really scary and Harry looked scary, too, and I thought something really bad was going to happen. Then Sev'rus punched the wall just like Harry did. I guess whatever the information was; it made Sev'rus think of the same person because he was really mad. Then he healed his hand and Harry's, too. That made me really glad but I was still scared. And then they were finally done and Harry came back and he held me and let me cry. And I really cried, because that was big," Draco said.
After another deep breath, "Well, when I stopped crying, Harry talked to me and he 'splained everything. He said Sev'rus would never hurt me, just like Harry would never hurt me. Even if he was really, really mad and even if he was mad at me," Draco said, wide-eyed once again at the concept of his godfather never hurting him.
He shook his head. "Harry said it didn't matter if Sev'rus was friends with my father. It didn't matter and still Sev'rus would never hurt me and I believe Harry. Harry wouldn't tell me a lie like that."
"No, I wouldn't," Harry interjected into Draco's story. "And just you remember that," he said, chucking Draco under the chin.
Harry wasn't sure if they'd all caught it, but he knew that Hermione, at least, had caught the implications of what Draco was saying. He'd seen the light of recognition in her eyes when Draco mentioned his father. A glance around the table showed that Ginny also understood, with the look of horror that was on her face.
None of the boys looked like they had caught it, though. Maybe it was just a girl thing to be more observant, Harry thought. Either way, it was time to end this story time.
"Eat your lunch, Draco. You didn't really eat all that much at breakfast, what with all the excitement this morning," Harry said, directing Draco back to his lunch.
Draco did as directed and tucked back into his lunch with new enthusiasm. Harry watched him quietly for a moment, when Hermione caught his eye. She was watching Draco, too, with a newfound sense of sympathy. Glancing across the table at Ginny, he realized she was gazing at Draco in the same way. Harry was thankful that both girls were capable of keeping secrets.
Harry decided to take his own advice and tucked back into his own lunch. By the time they were all finishing up, Professor McGonagall stopped by their table. "Mr. Potter, Dumbledore would like to see you in his office when you are finished eating," she said, pursing her lips.
One glance at her, and Harry didn't think she looked as though she approved of his behavior that morning. Harry swallowed heavily before replying. "Yes, ma'am." She nodded and went on her way.
Harry's mind was working through things quickly. He knew that he'd have to talk about what had happened that morning and hopefully about whatever had caused Draco to revert back to four years old. The latter didn't particularly matter if Draco was present, but he really didn't want to discuss what had happened that morning in front of Draco.
Dumbledore would be pressing for more precise answers than the Gryffindors. Most of them had simply accepted Draco's version of events, and didn't seem to realize that they'd never actually found out why Harry was so angry in the first place.
Harry looked over at the Slytherin table. Maybe Blaise would be able to help out. Draco was probably more used to Blaise than anyone else. After the morning's events, he didn't dare step away from Draco to talk to Blaise, though.
"Hermione," Harry got her attention. "Would you do me a huge favor and go tell Blaise about my meeting and ask him if he'll come with?" he asked, casting a significant glance down at Draco.
She nodded her understanding, but then glanced over at the Slytherin table nervously. "I'll be right back," she said decisively.
Harry watched her approach the Slytherins and nothing derogatory was said, as far as he could tell, but she did go straight to Blaise. They talked for just a minute and Blaise looked over, catching Harry's eye, and nodded. Soon Hermione was back.
"He said he'd help you out and thanks for giving him an out for his Herbology lesson this afternoon," she said wryly.
Harry broke out in surprised laughter and turned to grin at Blaise, who just smirked back at Harry. Blaise met Harry and Draco at the main doors and they slowly worked their way up the stairs to Dumbledore's office. Even with Blaise's help, Harry still wasn't sure how he could distract Draco from the goings on in Dumbledore's office.
Chapter 5: Theories
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 5: Theories
Blaise showed his understanding of the problem when he spoke to Draco. "Hey, Draco, would you like to go for a little walk with me while Harry goes to his boring old meeting? I can show you some of the cool paintings that always have the best gossip," Blaise said, trying to entice the small boy.
Draco looked intrigued, but leery of being away from Harry. He glanced up at Harry worriedly. "It's all right with me, as long as you don't go too far," Harry said agreeably, while still attempting to address Draco's fear.
"Ah, I won't take him far," Blaise said. "Some of the really gossipy portraits are near Dumbledore's office anyway. We can just explore a little. There are also some statues near there." Blaise whispered to Draco, "I know for a fact there's a wicked statue of a dragon."
Draco's eyes lit up. "Just like my name," he breathed.
Blaise nodded knowingly. "Yeah, I know your sixteen-year-old self thinks it's really wicked," he said, sweetening the deal.
Harry was grateful that Blaise's deal-making with Draco seemed to be working since Draco wouldn't be a witness to the meeting, but Harry was beginning to regret that he couldn't go along for the exploring, too. "Sounds like you'll have a lot of fun, angel," he said.
Draco nodded enthusiastically, but then he looked worried again. They were at the stone gargoyle and Harry crouched down next to Draco. "I'm going to be right here in Dumbledore's office. If you need me, Blaise will bring you right to me," Harry said.
Draco looked up at Blaise. "Promise?" he asked.
"I promise," Blaise said solemnly.
"All right then," Draco said, brightening again.
Harry had glanced ruefully at the stone gargoyle and realized he hadn't gotten the password from McGonagall. "You can go for your walk with Blaise, but first we're going to play a little game," Harry said.
"What kind of game?" Draco asked with interest.
"We're going to start naming every kind of candy we can think of," Harry explained. "Can you do that?"
Draco nodded enthusiastically and started rattling off all kinds of wizarding candies.
Blaise raised an eyebrow in question, but Harry just shook his head and listened to Draco. Harry realized that he really should take the boy into Hogsmeade. Draco would love Honeydukes, especially, since Harry was sure that many new candies had been developed since Draco was four. Harry wasn't sure this would actually work since Dumbledore could have easily used one of the more recently developed sweets for his password.
Draco seemed to have hit on the right one finally, though, when 'jelly pops' caused the gargoyle to move. Draco gasped and his eyes bulged, staring at the statue.
Harry grinned. "Now you just remember 'jelly pops' if you need to come find me before I'm done. I shouldn't be too long."
Draco nodded solemnly. "I'll be good for Blaise and I won't go too far," he promised.
Harry kissed him on the forehead. "I know you'll be good, angel. Now off you go and have fun."
Blaise grinned and offered his hand to Draco. Draco accepted this time and they set off down the hall. Draco looked over his shoulder once and Harry waved before heading up the moving staircase.
Merlin, he was feeling about as scared about letting Draco out of his sight as Draco was scared about being out of his sight. It wasn't even quite twenty-four hours and Harry was firmly attached to the little boy. Harry didn't even want to think about what would happen when Draco was changed back.
The door was open at the top of the stairs and Dumbledore gestured him in. "Come in, my boy, and have a seat. May I ask where Mr. Malfoy is?" he asked.
Harry glanced over at Snape who was glaring at him. "I didn't want Draco around to witness this meeting. Draco semi-trusts Blaise and we managed to talk him into a walk around this area of the castle. He agreed as long as he didn't go too far."
"Ah, and I'm guessing Mr. Zabini promised to show him the dragon statue," Dumbledore said in his infuriatingly knowing way, his eyes twinkling merrily.
Harry eyed him suspiciously. "Yes, it seemed to cinch the idea for Draco."
"It is a favorite of Mr. Malfoy's, so it does not surprise me," Dumbledore said. "But perhaps we should continue before they return."
Harry and Snape both nodded. "Harry, would you care to explain exactly what happened this morning?"
Harry took a deep breath and described the events of the morning. The only main details he left out were his wish to kill Lucius Malfoy and Snape's subsequent agreement on that matter. By the time he was done, Harry was seething with anger again at what the elder Malfoy had done to his son. Harry was this angry and he didn't even have any real details about how exactly the boy had been punished.
"Severus, is this an accurate account?" Dumbledore asked as more of a formality. If it hadn't been accurate, then they all knew that Snape would have spoken up immediately. Snape nodded curtly, and Harry realized that Snape's expression was just as dark and angry as it had been that morning. Both of them would willingly kill Lucius Malfoy that moment if he'd been standing in front of them.
"Well, my boys, your behavior this morning is quite understandable now," Dumbledore said gravely. "Unfortunately, I'm not sure there is much we can do. Other than what Harry is already attempting by trying to get Draco to open up and talk about what happened, so that hopefully the boy can truly heal."
"Albus, I am not your boy," Snape ground out.
Dumbledore just waved him off. Harry managed to keep the grin off his face, but he'd be willing to bet they'd had that argument before.
"I must ask the two of you to refrain from having these types of discussions in the Great Hall in the future," Dumbledore said. "I do understand that Draco is still quite uncomfortable with being out of Harry's sight, and that fact highly influenced the location of the discussions this morning. Also, your anger is highly understandable, but it was quite disturbing to witness, particularly without knowing the facts."
"I understand, Albus," Snape said, nodding curtly.
"Yes, Headmaster," Harry agreed.
"Now that the formality of chastising you is out of the way, I believe there is more to discuss regarding Mr. Malfoy's current condition."
With a start, Harry realized that Dumbledore had placed him and Snape as equals regarding the incident that morning, and the more surprising revelation was that Snape had not argued that fact. Harry shook his head, bringing his attention back to the Headmaster's words.
"I understand that you have uncovered some information, Severus," Dumbledore said leadingly.
Snape nodded. "Yes, but I admit that I do not completely understand it. I tested Draco's potion last night and discovered that it was a perfect brewing of the de-aging potion. It is an extremely difficult potion, partially because it requires precise ingredients added at very precise moments to achieve the desired number of years to de-age. Draco's potion was perfectly made to de-age him twelve years, to his current age of four years."
Snape furrowed his brow. "It does not surprise me that the boy was capable of brewing this potion. He knows his potions. But that is precisely what confuses me. I am positive that he would have to have known what he was brewing. Some of the ingredients needed were ones we were using for the assigned potion yesterday, but not all of them. I just don't see how he could've accidentally come up with this potion." Snape concluded.
"Are you suggesting that he made the potion deliberately?" Dumbledore asked in concern.
Snape shrugged helplessly and Harry actually rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was seeing things. The Potions Master he knew was absolutely never unsure of anything, but now he was showing signs of being human like the rest of them—in front of Harry, no less.
"It makes absolutely no sense that he would make the potion deliberately, but I don't see how it could be otherwise. I'm sure the boy must have known exactly how to cause the cauldron to explode without altering the properties of the potion itself," Snape explained. "Also, Draco was the only one dosed with the potion. I didn't question it until last night, but when I went back over the events, the potion was conspicuously contained to Draco alone."
"I assume there must be an antidote," Dumbledore asked.
Snape nodded. "That's the other thing I don't understand. If Draco did make this potion deliberately, I'm sure he also knew that the antidote allowing him to re-age is unfortunately a potion that takes four months to brew properly. It requires much care in the brewing process and must be drunk within twenty-four hours after the final ingredients are added. Re-aging is far less simple than de-aging."
"That, at least, makes sense," Dumbledore said. "Generally people want to be younger, not older. I would assume that the long brewing process also deters teenagers, in particular, from trying to add a few years."
Snape nodded absently. "Yes, I believe those were factors considered when the original potion was created. But why would Draco subject himself to a potion like this, knowing it would take him four months to get back to himself?"
The room was silent for a couple of minutes as the three of them thought about all that had been said.
"If that is what he did, I think I can understand why he would do it," Harry spoke up softly.
Both men turned to him in surprise. "Harry, why do you think that he would do this deliberately?" Dumbledore asked in concern.
"You said he will likely remember all this when he's re-aged, correct?" Harry asked.
"Yes, considering the unknown yesterday, we could not know with certainty, but with these potions, it is a definite that he will remember everything that occurs while he's de-aged," Snape explained, slipping easily into his professorial mode once more.
Harry nodded. "Then, I think that reason alone would be a good enough one for him to contemplate the idea. The more that I learn about Draco himself, and the more I learn about his father, I can understand him wanting to go back and essentially re-create better childhood memories," Harry explained almost wistfully.
Snape and Dumbledore were both looking like they understood Draco's possible motives now, but Harry went on. "Unfortunately, I don't know Draco nearly as well as I would like to, but I can guess at many other possible reasons for doing something like this. I don't know how close he was to his mother before she died this summer, but I do know that he has not asked about her even once since the accident. At this point, basically both of his parents are gone. It's got to be difficult realizing your parents are gone, whether you particularly liked them or not. Parents are parents and you love them regardless because that's what you do," Harry said softly.
He swallowed hard before he continued, uncomfortable with what he was revealing about himself at the same time he was talking about Draco. "We don't know exactly what Lucius has done to Draco all these years, but we know that it was bad. Draco was angry with me because I put his father in Azkaban last spring, but I'd bet anything that it was a front and inside he was feeling relief. No, he may or may not have wanted his father in prison, and as a proper Malfoy he needed to retaliate against actions against his family if he could, but deep inside he could be glad that his father was in a place where he couldn't hurt him this summer."
"I think you may understand Draco better than you realize," Snape said quietly.
Harry shrugged. "I spent a lot of time thinking about him over the summer."
Snape raised an eyebrow in question, but Harry ignored it and went back to his theories regarding Draco's motives for dosing himself with the de-aging potion. "I'm sure Draco had a lot of time to think this summer. With your father suddenly in prison and your mother dead, it would make almost anyone sit down and think and reevaluate their life. What if he realized that he didn't particularly like what he saw and wanted a fresh start? A highly unusual method maybe, but going back and redoing a bit of your childhood makes a bit of sense when you stop to think about it."
Harry looked over at Snape, somewhat curious as to the fact that Snape was allowing him to ramble on about his theories, but continuing regardless. He had the advantage of spending countless hours thinking about Draco over the summer, and this potion de-aging business was actually fitting into his thoughts about Draco pretty neatly.
"Draco is in Slytherin for a reason. It would be a very cunning plan to revert to a four-year-old in his position. He knows very well that overall he is not well-liked in this school outside of Slytherin house. It would take far longer than four months to convince people he'd changed his attitudes, if that was what he was choosing to do. Instead, if he dosed himself with this potion, he could become a lovable four-year-old with a far better chance of getting people to like him. Knowing he wouldn't remember everything about his past while he was a four-year-old, it would also give himself a chance to get to know what he could be like without the influence of his father. Well, not the same influence, anyway. Even if Draco decided that he wanted to change, he would know that his ingrained habits would be hard to break. Particularly if his father ingrained them into him personally," Harry ended with a scowl on his face.
"I think you may have a very valid theory, my boy," Dumbledore said contemplatively.
Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry. "Potter, how did you come up with this theory of yours? Are you sure that you should not be in Slytherin?" he asked suspiciously.
Harry grinned. "Are you saying that my theory of Draco's possible plan is worthy of a Slytherin?" he asked.
Snape glared at him and Harry relented, still grinning. "The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin," Harry admitted.
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "It figures," he muttered. "Only a Slytherin could come up with a plan such as that, and whether that was Draco's plan or not, you deduced the theory on your own. Merlin, no wonder I've struggled with you all these years. You slip through my fingers because you have the cunning of a damn Slytherin," Snape was still muttering.
"Thank you, sir," Harry said cheekily; his grin even wider, if that was possible.
Snape sent him a glare but Harry could tell it was only half-hearted. Snape turned on Dumbledore all of a sudden. "You knew about this, didn't you, Albus?" Snape demanded, expecting an answer.
Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling like mad. He nodded. "Yes, I believe I had a discussion with Harry about it at the end of his second year."
"It just explains so much," Snape muttered, shaking his head.
Harry decided to take pity on the man and went back to his theories about Draco. "I can think of another reason why Draco would do something so drastic," he said.
"And why is that?" Dumbledore asked.
"Particularly through the Christmas holidays, Draco would be safe from Voldemort. If he's chosen not to follow in his father's footsteps, then he's going to be hyper aware that he'll be a major target. A four-year-old boy would be much safer than the sixteen-year-old son of Voldemort's right hand man. If nothing else, he would be free from receiving the Dark Mark for at least four more months," Harry explained.
"Well, it would appear that Mr. Malfoy likely had many reasons for choosing to do something so drastic," Dumbledore said. "And many of those reasons would be quite valid and worth the risks."
"I'm sure he weighed all of his options quite thoroughly, sir," Harry said. "If this was deliberate, then I'm quite positive that he minimized the risks as much as he possibly could. That would be why he waited until school to do it, too. Over the summer he would have been far too vulnerable as a young boy. Here, he would know that he would be protected. Also, there is the fact that this is neither an OWL nor a NEWT year. He's extremely intelligent. He'll be missing half of the year, but he'll also have the second half of the year to catch up. I'd be willing to bet that he studied all of this year's assigned course books thoroughly before school ever started this year and he will likely not really be that far behind."
Snape was back to eyeing Harry suspiciously, almost curiously. "Potter, I am loath to admit this, but I think at this point I am willing to admit that you are probably the best possible caregiver for my godson over the next few months. You seem to have a far better understanding of him than I ever would have expected from you."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said solemnly, recognizing the tremendous compliment for what it was from this man.
Dumbledore cleared his throat, bringing their attention back to him. "Well, it seems that things are as settled as they can be then. I think that the possibility that it was deliberate, rather than an accident, should remain between the three of us. There is no point in putting the boy at further risk. Harry, Draco will continue to be under your care then over the next four months until the antidote is finished."
Harry nodded. "It will be my pleasure, sir, but can I ask a favor?"
"Certainly, my boy," Dumbledore said.
"I was wondering if I could take Draco into Hogsmeade on Saturday to do some shopping. I realize that it's not a Hogsmeade weekend, but if Draco is going to remain this age for the next four months, then he will need more things," Harry explained his request, leaving out the fact that he wanted to buy Draco sweets.
"Particularly new robes that aren't red," Snape muttered.
Harry and Dumbledore both grinned. At that moment, they could hear, through the still open doorway, the staircase beginning to move. Scant seconds later, Draco was scrambling into Harry's lap. He threw his arms around Harry's neck. His "I missed you, Harry," was muffled into Harry's robes.
Harry stroked his silky hair. "I missed you too, angel." He readjusted Draco on his lap so he could look at him. "Did you have a good time with Blaise?" Harry asked.
Draco grinned and nodded. "He showed me lots of things. The dragon was 'mazing, Harry," he breathed.
Harry smiled. "Then you'll have to show me later."
"All right. Besides, it just didn't seem right without you there anyway," Draco said softly.
Harry sent Blaise a questioning look, who had sat down in the chair Dumbledore conjured for him. Blaise shrugged. "He did okay for a little while, but then he just kept getting more anxious to return to you. I distracted him for a little while to give you more time, but I wasn't particularly good at it," he admitted.
"I didn't want to be distracted," Draco said defiantly. "I wanted to be with my Harry."
Blaise smirked at Harry. "I told you that you'd been claimed by a Malfoy."
"And I told you that I was already well aware that he's got me wrapped around his little finger," Harry retorted.
Draco looked down at his hands curiously, causing the others to chuckle.
Snape snorted. "And you want to take this boy shopping?" he asked.
Harry grinned ruefully. "I never said that it wouldn't be an expensive shopping trip."
"Actually, Harry, that does bring up the concern of Draco's finances," Dumbledore began, but Harry just waved him off.
"The money doesn't matter. I've got both the Potter and Black vaults. I might as well spend a little of it having fun with Draco," Harry said easily, making it clear that it was no big concern to him. He was actually thinking that Sirius would have approved of Harry spending some of the money.
Blaise was spluttering, however. Harry looked at him curiously. "What?" he asked.
Blaise took a deep breath in an attempt to regain his speech. "You inherited the Black vaults?" he finally asked.
"Yeah, why?" Harry asked, confused by Blaise's reaction.
Blaise looked at Snape. "He doesn't have a clue?" Blaise asked the Potions professor.
Snape shook his head. "I don't think so. It doesn't appear to matter much to him."
Dumbledore smiled, nodding his agreement. "Harry actually walked out at the reading of the will. Losing the last member of his family was more important than the inheritance. Sirius Black was his godfather."
Harry was impressed that Snape heard all of that and managed not to sneer at Harry. It didn't stop the flicker of pain from the memory of that day, or of losing Sirius in the first place, but the pain was manageable now and he was still impressed with Snape's lack of sneering response when Sirius was mentioned. It somehow made Harry feel a little better, despite the fact that Snape and Dumbledore were actually revealing more about him. He had to wonder at the fact that as much seemed to be revealed about him, as it did Draco, with the way things were going. His swiftly revolving thoughts were derailed with Blaise's next outburst claiming his attention.
Blaise's eyes widened even further. "Sirius Black was his godfather?!" he exclaimed incredulously.
Snape gave him a curt nod, and Harry frowned, wondering why Snape and Dumbledore were actually revealing this information to Blaise. Was this their way of telling Harry that Blaise could be trusted?
"Merlin, Harry, I've learned far more about you in the last twenty-four hours that I never would have guessed in a million years," Blaise said.
"Haven't we all," Snape muttered.
Harry just shrugged. "People just see what they want to see, or they believe what they read about me. Not too many take the time to get to know who I really am."
Blaise studied Harry for a moment. "I'd like the chance," he said, giving Harry a friendly smile.
"Sure," Harry said with a return smile.
"Yes, it looks like you will have time over the next four months to get to know each other better as you care for young Draco," Dumbledore interjected.
"Four months?!" Blaise exclaimed.
Snape nodded gravely. "Yes, it will take that long to brew the antidote, unfortunately."
"Wow!" Blaise breathed.
"I'm going to be four years old for four whole months?" Draco asked quietly.
"Yes, Draco," Snape said seriously. "You will remain in Potter's care during that time, until I have finished the antidote."
"Oh! Well that's all right then if I get to stay with Harry," Draco said, snuggling up closer in Harry's lap.
Snape rolled his eyes. "I'm pleased that you find this arrangement and your predicament so agreeable," he said sarcastically, but the sarcasm rolled right over Draco and he grinned at his godfather, simply causing Snape to roll his eyes again.
Snape looked at Dumbledore and took a deep breath. "Perhaps, Albus, I could take these three boys to Diagon Alley on Saturday."
All three boys in question perked up and looked hopefully to the headmaster for his answer. "I think that is an excellent idea, Severus," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling merrily. Harry was sure the old man thought it amusing for Snape to not only be taking Harry shopping, but actually volunteering to do so.
"Fine. Potter, Zabini, meet me here at nine o'clock Saturday morning, prepared to leave," Snape said sharply.
"Yes, sir," they chorused.
"Fabulous! I think that'll be all for this afternoon," Dumbledore said with a benign smile. They all stood to leave. "Oh, and Mr. Zabini, I will let Professor Sprout know where you were this afternoon and that you were an invaluable help."
"Thank you, sir," Blaise said. In all the excitement, he'd forgotten that he was still supposed to be in class.
Back in the hallway once again, Blaise asked if they still wanted to head down to the Slytherin rooms. Harry and Draco agreed, and they began the trek down to the dungeons.
Chapter 6: Power of Emotion
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 6: Power of Emotion
"Hydra Pit." Blaise stated the password and they entered the Slytherin common room.
Harry glanced around. It looked the same as it had when they were all in second year. He still wasn't overly impressed with it, but he had to admit that it looked more appealing to him now than the last time he'd been in here. Perhaps Harry had changed more than he realized.
Blaise gave Harry a suspicious glance. "You don't seem particularly . . . surprised."
Harry shrugged. "Been here once before and it looks the same now as it did then."
"What?!" Blaise exclaimed quietly. "When were you ever in the Slytherin common room?"
Harry gave Blaise the same sly wink and wicked smirk he had that morning when Blaise had complimented him on his Slytherin skills. "A good Slytherin would not give away all of his secrets. Maybe I'll tell you some other time," Harry smirked.
"Holy fuck, Harry!" Blaise practically shouted. Luckily there weren't that many students around at that time of day. Most of them were off in classes still or else in the library. Those that were in the room were carefully watching Blaise, Harry and Draco. All of them startled at Blaise's outburst.
Harry kept the smirk on his face and enjoyed Blaise's outburst and his shock. "Just chalk that up to another thing you didn't know about Harry Potter."
Draco had been studying the room quietly. Harry led him over to the high-backed chairs surrounding the large fireplace, with Blaise following and muttering to himself about Harry's Slytherin tendencies that he'd known nothing about. Harry ignored Blaise and plucked Draco up and set him in the chair in the center of the furniture grouping.
"I bet that's where you sit when you're holding court," Harry said to Draco with a smile.
Draco looked confused, but curious, and studied the chair he was sitting in and the surrounding area. "Court? Like a king?" Draco asked.
"More like a prince, but yes, that kind of court," Harry said. "You like being the Slytherin prince and ordering people to do your bidding."
Draco scrunched up his nose. "Why would I order people around?"
"Oh, it's just a game to you," Harry said, not exactly sure what else to call it. He crouched down and looked at Draco seriously. He figured he might as well use this opportunity to get a little lesson in. "I think you make a handsome little prince, but you're not going to be the type of prince to order people around. You're going to be a kind prince."
Draco nodded. "I don't want to be mean. People don't like you when you're mean to them."
"Good," Harry said with satisfaction. "You can still be a little prince though," he said, smiling at Draco. "If nothing else, you tend to dress the part." He reached over and ruffled Draco's hair.
Draco broke out in giggles. "Is that true?" he asked, looking up at Blaise who was staring at Harry in amazement.
"Yes, Draco. I'm not sure how Harry knew it, but that's the chair you always sit in and you do tend to play that kind of game a lot," Blaise said. Blaise shook his head like he was trying to clear it. "Well, little prince, what do you say? Do you want to go check out the dorm where all your things are?" he asked.
Draco nodded enthusiastically and scrambled down from the chair. He automatically grabbed Harry's hand, but then he tentatively reached for Blaise's hand as well. Blaise took the offered hand with a grin and led them down a long hallway. At the very end, he opened a door and ushered them into a large dorm room.
Overall, Harry supposed it really wasn't that different from his own dorm room. The shape of the room was different, this room being a lot longer, but it still had five beds with trunks at the foot of each. There were wardrobes for each student. One glance told Harry where Draco's area was. Harry pointed down to the far end of the room.
"That's got to be your bed all the way at the end," Harry said to Draco.
Blaise wasn't surprised at Harry's guess this time and he gave Harry a wide grin as they walked down to Draco's space. On the wall opposite Draco's bed were two large wardrobes with a huge floor length mirror mounted to the wall in between them. One wardrobe was all drawers and the other was more of a large closet in which to hang clothes.
On top of the wardrobes were several different dragon figurines, some small and some rather large. All of them were amazing pieces. Harry realized there was a small Hungarian Horntail buried somewhere in his trunk that Draco would absolutely love.
Harry sat down on the bed and realized that the thick black comforter was plush velvet. It was wonderfully soft and warm. Harry checked and, sure enough, there were black satin sheets on the bed as well. He rolled his eyes. It figured that Draco had all the rich creature comforts like expensive sheets and blankets. They hadn't even looked in the wardrobes yet.
Draco had scrambled up on the bed next to Harry. "Wow," he breathed. "This feels like my bed."
Blaise grinned at the small boy. "Well, it is your bed here. You brought the sheets and blankets from home," he admitted.
"Can we put them on your bed, Harry?" Draco asked hopefully.
Harry frowned in confusion. Having something familiar seemed like a good comforting thing for Draco. He liked things that were familiar himself, and Draco had been ripped unceremoniously from everything that he was used to. "I can understand you wanting the familiar blankets, but wouldn't you want them on your own bed?" he asked.
"Oh, well, yeah," Draco said in a small voice, dropping his head.
"Ah," Harry said in understanding. "Draco, did you want to sleep in my bed again?"
Draco slowly nodded. "I don't like being alone when the nightmares come," he said almost inaudibly.
Harry exchanged a look with Blaise. Blaise walked over and pulled a handkerchief out of a drawer and quietly handed it to Harry before sitting down at the end of the bed. Harry moved to prop himself up at the head of the bed and gestured for Draco to come sit with him. Draco came willingly and curled up in Harry's lap.
"Draco, I think now would be a good time to talk about those nightmares," Harry said quietly. He wasn't surprised to feel the boy trembling again.
"I don't want to," Draco mumbled.
"I know you don't want to, but I think it will be good for you. And I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Harry said calmly.
Draco was crying again and Harry wasn't sure how to get Draco talking. He was glancing around the room, wracking his brain for ideas, when his eyes lit upon a snake carved into the front of the drawer on the bedside table.
"Draco, remember when I said I had nightmares, too, that are about things that really happened?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded against Harry's chest. "Like memories," Draco's muffled voice answered.
"Yes, just like memories," Harry said, stroking Draco's hair, trying to keep him calm. "If I told you about one of my nightmares, would you tell me about yours?" Harry asked.
Draco pulled back a little to look at Harry, his brow furrowed as he contemplated that deal. "Yes," he finally answered decisively.
Harry glanced at Blaise, who was giving him a questioning glance. Obviously Blaise wasn't so sure this was a good idea. Harry wasn't entirely sure either, but he also didn't intend to tell Draco about his worst nightmares. Harry looked back at Draco.
"Well, something happened to me when I was twelve and it was extremely frightening," Harry began. "Do you know what a basilisk is, Draco?" he asked.
Draco's eyes widened. "It's a really, really big snake," he breathed.
Harry nodded. "Yes, it is. Are you afraid of snakes?"
Draco shook his head. "No, but I'd be afraid of one of those. They kill people with their eyes."
Harry nodded again. "You're right. Well, a friend of mine was trapped and I was trying to rescue her, but there was a basilisk there and I couldn't get to her. I was really scared and I didn't want the basilisk to get her, but I didn't want it to get me either. A phoenix came and poked its eyes so it couldn't kill with its eyes anymore, but it was still really dangerous. I climbed up this huge statue and I'd found this sword. When the basilisk lunged at me, I was able to put the sword through its mouth and kill it."
Draco's eyes were bulging. "Wow, you were the one like a prince rescuing the princess," he exclaimed.
Harry grinned ruefully. "I suppose, but that's not really how I felt." He got serious again. "I was scared out of my mind. I was afraid I was going to die even after I killed the basilisk because one of the fangs got stuck in my arm. They're extremely poisonous. I felt really sick and I was close to dying."
"What happened?" Draco breathed.
"Remember I said the phoenix was there? The phoenix came and cried on my arm. Phoenix tears can heal and he made me better," Harry explained.
Draco looked thoughtful, taking this all in. Harry glanced over at Blaise who was eyeing Harry shrewdly. Harry was fairly certain that Blaise would be asking Harry for the rest of the story later. But Snape seemed to think Blaise was trustworthy and Harry was finding himself quite liking this Slytherin.
"So that's what your nightmares are about?" Draco asked.
Harry nodded. "That's one of them. I'm afraid I have lots of nightmares, angel." Harry bit his lip, eyeing the top of Draco's head where the boy had ducked his head again. He decided to take the risk.
"I also have nightmares about this really scary man that I've met several times," Harry said.
Harry wasn't surprised when Draco's trembling returned. He'd calmed during Harry's story, since it did sound like some kind of fairy tale almost. Now, he was thinking about scary men and his own nightmares once again.
"Will you tell me about your nightmare now?" Harry asked quietly.
Draco started to shake his head, but stopped. He had told Harry that he would. Harry just held him and waited patiently.
"I'm not supposed to tell," Draco whispered.
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn't going to be easy to get through for either of them. "Did someone hurt you and then tell you not to tell anyone?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded hesitantly.
"That's wrong, Draco. No one should be hurting you—ever. It's wrong for them to hurt you and then tell you to keep it secret," Harry said in an even tone.
"But if I don't keep it secret, then he said he'll hurt me worse," Draco whispered.
Harry hugged the boy tightly. "Draco, I'm taking care of you now and no one is going to hurt you. It'll be all right if you tell me."
Harry waited for Draco. After several minutes, Draco finally began talking.
"Sometimes I'm a bad and so I have to be punished. My father punishes me when I've been bad. In my nightmare last night, it was when I broke a cup at dinner and that was really bad because we had guests. Father was really mad. He woke me up late in the night and took me down to the dungeons in the Manor. It's really cold and scary down there," Draco said, and a shudder wracked through his entire body.
Harry just held him tightly. He didn't dare say anything. For one, he didn't want to interrupt now that Draco was finally talking. But also, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to remain calm if he opened his mouth. So, he just held Draco and listened quietly to the small, shaky voice telling its story.
Draco took a deep breath and continued after several moments had passed. "The dungeons are where Father punishes people. There . . . there was a body down there and it was all bloody. And it was just all wrong," Draco explained, his entire frame shuddering with his palpable fear. Tears were pouring down his face.
Harry had a fist clenched in the back of Draco's robes, but he forcefully made himself remain calm and his other hand gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind Draco's ear. "Tell me the rest, angel," Harry whispered.
Draco closed his eyes tightly. "Father told me I'd end up like that body if I ever told anyone about the dungeons. He . . . he used his wand on me and cast Crucio," Draco said, his voice tight. "It hurt bad, Harry," Draco's voice broke on a sob and he buried his face in Harry's robes, sobs wracking his body.
Harry had tears flowing down his own cheeks as he rocked the small boy, murmuring any soothing phrases and sounds he could think of. Harry felt movement and watched as Blaise moved to the wardrobe and came back with a couple more handkerchiefs. He passed one to Harry and kept one for himself, sitting back down quietly. With one hand Harry wiped his eyes and blew his nose.
Draco was still crying but the sobs had lessened. Harry gently pried Draco back a little so he could wipe the little boy's face and help him blow his nose as well.
Harry didn't want to upset the boy further, but he needed to know. "Draco, did your father cast Crucio on you a lot?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded.
"Did he hurt you in any other way?" Harry asked.
Draco shook his head. "He said Crucio couldn't be seen," the little boy choked out.
Harry nodded and took a deep breath. Harry remembered how hurt and angry he'd felt when he found out that his own father was a bit of a bully when he was in school. This was absolutely nothing compared to that, but it gave Harry at least a touch of understanding. At least, he hoped he was on the right track with what he was about to say. "Draco, I want you to listen to me very carefully."
Draco looked up and Harry locked eyes with him. "What your father did is very, very wrong. I know you love your father and that's what makes it hurt even more. But just because you love your father, does not make it right what he did to you. Do you understand?" Harry asked intently.
Draco sniffled and nodded tentatively.
"I'm not going to let your father do that to you anymore. I'm going to protect you and keep you safe. You don't have to be scared anymore," Harry said forcefully and with conviction.
Draco swallowed hard. "But father always gets his way," he said nervously. "'What a Malfoy wants, a Malfoy gets'," he parroted.
"Not this time," Harry snarled, and the bed they were sitting on vibrated a little, startling them all.
Draco looked a little wide-eyed but then seemed to be actually reassured by the fierceness of Harry's response. Draco glanced down at the end of the bed at Blaise, so Blaise chose to speak up.
"Draco, I have the feeling that Harry can be just as dangerous as your father," Blaise said, a little wide-eyed himself. He could practically see the magical energy that Harry was trying to hold back. "I have no doubt that Harry is strong enough and powerful enough to protect you from your father."
Draco nodded solemnly and snuggled in as close as he could to Harry again. Harry stroked his hair and rubbed soothing circles on Draco's back. Within a few minutes the boy was asleep, drained from the emotions of the past hour.
Harry took a couple of deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm down. He was angrier than he'd ever been in his life. He carefully eased Draco off his lap and tucked him under the covers in his bed. Then Harry stalked out of the room and down the long hallway, Blaise cautiously following behind him.
Harry stopped abruptly when he got to the common room and slammed his fists into the wall. Right, left, right, left. It wasn't helping. Harry fisted both hands in his hair. "Fucking bastard!" he screamed.
Every green globe hanging from the ceiling suddenly shattered, raining glass down over the room. Shrieks and screams were heard throughout the room that had filled up since they'd last been in there. The only light now came from the fireplace.
Harry snatched his wand from his pocket and swished it violently. All of the glass was promptly banished. Another swish and all cuts were healed that anybody had received from the broken glass. One more violent swish and all of the globes were repaired and the room was lighted once again.
Everyone now stared in shocked silence at Harry. He was standing there, chest heaving and panting heavily. His eyes were glinting dangerously. His entire expression was dark and dangerous. Both fisted hands looked broken and they were dripping blood onto the stone floor.
Harry didn't have the foggiest clue as to how he had done what he just did. It wasn't the first time that his magic had manifested itself when he'd gotten angry, but this was going far beyond anything that had happened in the past. Somehow, blowing up Aunt Marge just wasn't on the same scale. Unfortunately, he wasn't remotely feeling any more in control, even after that outburst of magic.
"I need to find Snape. Watch Draco," Harry commanded Blaise. "If he wakes, just tell him I'll be back soon and I've simply gone to ask his godfather if we can take some of his things up to the tower."
Blaise nodded, gazing at Harry worriedly. Crabbe and Goyle stepped forward without a word and fell into step on either side of Harry as he spun and left the room.
Harry stalked through the dungeon corridors to Snape's office. Unfortunately, the man wasn't there, nor was he in the potions classroom. Harry paused, then turned abruptly to stalk out of the dungeons. He'd get the map and find the man that way.
Harry stalked through the corridors, thankful when students actually jumped out of his path. In the back of his mind, Harry registered that he had to have looked bad for them to be steering out of his way like that, but he didn't care. He figured it probably looked odd, also, that he had Draco Malfoy's two usual henchmen at his side. He didn't care about that either. He just wanted to find Snape and tell him about what he'd learned, and hoped like hell that Snape could help him regain control of his magic.
Upon reaching the portrait of the Fat Lady, Harry snarled the password and stepped through the portrait hole with Crabbe and Goyle stepping in behind him.
Someone shrieked when they saw the two large Slytherins stepping into their common room. "What are they doing in here?" one of the seventh years shouted.
Harry tensed up even more than he already was and snarled dangerously. Crabbe and Goyle each grabbed one of Harry's arms and bodily lifted him a couple inches off the ground, causing a couple more girls to scream.
Harry, though, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He understood that Crabbe and Goyle were trying, in their own way, to help prevent him from repeating whatever it was that had happened in the Slytherin common room. He didn't understand any of it, but he did recognizing that their touch seemed to actually be helping to ground him in some way.
His anger was still threatening to overwhelm him, and his out-of-control magic wasn't helping him to tamp it down in any way. He took another deep breath, pretending that it gave him a semblance of calm. He really needed to find Snape as soon as possible.
When he slowly nodded, the two Slytherins set him back down again and released him. When Harry opened his eyes again, Hermione and Ron were standing in front of him.
"Harry?" Hermione asked tentatively, looking at him worriedly. Ron looked like he wasn't sure if he should be concerned about Harry or angry with the two goons as he'd always thought of them.
"Ron, get me the map," Harry ordered. Ron hesitated for just a moment, then took off for the stairs at a run.
"Harry, are you all right?" Hermione asked anxiously.
"I'll be fine," Harry snapped. He wasn't in the mood to be pleasant.
"Where's Draco? Has something happened to him?" she asked worriedly.
Harry's expression darkened even further and his magical energy became palpable once again. Before the two Slytherins could grab him, the windows in the common room shattered.
"Fuck!" Harry exclaimed as the students broke out in screams. He whipped out his wand again and slashed it violently a few times, cleaning up and repairing the damage like he had in the Slytherin common room.
"Draco's with Blaise and he's fine," Harry ground out. "I just need to find Snape."
Ron cautiously stepped forward, holding out the map. Harry snatched it from him and whirled around, stepping out into the hallway again and leaving behind a roomful of stunned Gryffindors this time.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," Harry said, tapping the map with his wand. Crabbe and Goyle were once again standing on either side of Harry but now they each kept a hand lightly on Harry's arms. Harry didn't bother shaking them off; knowing they were attempting to ground him and it had worked once at least.
Hermione and Ron were looking scared, but they stepped in front of Harry and helped him search the map.
"He's in the hospital wing," Hermione said, pointing at Snape's name on the map.
Harry shoved the map into her hands and took off. As they approached the hospital wing, Hermione and Ron rushed forward, opening up the doors and holding them for Harry and the two Slytherins.
Snape was there, watching as Madame Pomfrey tended to a couple of students who had likely been in a potions accident. All of them looked up in shock as the group of students entered the ward. Snape immediately stepped forward.
Snape's gaze flicked over the furious Gryffindor and noticed the hands of the two Slytherins holding onto him. He could feel the power radiating off of Harry. "Potter, you need to get control of yourself," he snapped.
"I realize that," Harry ground out. "Unfortunately, I don't have a fucking clue as to how to do that. Among other things, I was hoping you could tell me how."
Snape closed the space between them and grabbed hold of Harry's shoulders. Crabbe and Goyle let go and backed away.
"Look at me," Snape commanded and dark, emerald eyes locked with deep, obsidian eyes. " Legilimens," Snape said quietly.
At that word, Harry expected the usual invasion of his mind. Instead he could feel Snape connecting with him on a much deeper level. Both of their eyes drifted shut. Harry had no idea how it was happening, but it was like he could feel Snape pulling him deeper into his body until all Harry could feel was his magic surrounding him and his professor. Snape began pulling all of Harry's magic back to this magical core. Harry couldn't see or hear anything, but he could feel what was happening. Harry mimicked his professor and began pulling his magic back to where it belonged and where it was stable.
Slowly, they gathered all the loose strands of Harry's magic back to his magical core. When his magic was completely stable once again, Snape pulled Harry back up and then exited Harry's mind, breaking their connection. Slowly they both opened their eyes and Snape stepped back.
"Merlin, Potter," Snape breathed as he stared at Harry intently. "Where did all that power come from?" he asked, having forgotten all of the others in the room.
Harry shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I guess I've always had it, but it's like I felt something snap inside earlier. I got angrier than I've ever been in my life and my magic just . . . exploded."
Crabbe, Goyle, Ron and Hermione all snorted, causing Harry and Snape to whip around and remember their surroundings. Snape narrowed his eyes. "I think we should finish this discussion in my office. Come with me," Snape commanded.
Harry and Snape fell into step, together surprisingly, with the other four trailing behind. Once in Snape's office, he commanded Harry to sit in his chair behind the desk and he conjured chairs for the other four. Snape stood imposingly at the side of his desk.
"I can hazard a guess at to what got you so angry in the first place," Snape said to Harry, with a slight question in his tone.
The dangerous glint returned to his eyes as Harry nodded.
Snape closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We will discuss that later," Snape said to Harry.
"Yes, sir," Harry replied evenly.
Snape opened his eyes and glared at the four teens. "At the moment, I would like to know what happened this afternoon, and what you four found so amusing."
"Not amusing, sir," Hermione answered. "It was just a highly accurate description. Harry's magic exploded in the Gryffindor common room."
"In the Slytherin common room, too," Crabbe added.
Snape glanced back at Harry who just shrugged.
"Explain," Snape commanded Crabbe.
Crabbe and Goyle took turns explaining what they had witnessed in the Slytherin common room. At the mention of Harry pounding his fists into the wall, Snape inspected Harry's hands and gathered a couple of potions, passing them to Harry while he continued to listen. Hermione and Ron picked up the explanation from when Harry and the Slytherins had entered the Gryffindor common room.
Before they could finish explaining, there was a knock on the office door. Snape swore, but stalked over to the door and yanked it open. Blaise was standing there with a sobbing Draco in his arms.
Snape stepped back, gesturing them in, and Blaise breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Harry.
"Oh, Draco!" Harry exclaimed. Draco's head whipped up as Blaise bent to set him down. Harry held his arms out and Draco flew into them. The others watched silently as Harry rocked and soothed him.
"I woke up and you were gone," Draco sobbed.
"Didn't Blaise tell you that I'd just gone to ask Severus if we could move some of your things to the tower?" Harry asked, his gaze flicking to Blaise who just shrugged and nodded helplessly.
"Yeah, but you still didn't come back and you were gone such a long time," Draco cried.
"He woke up not long after you left," Blaise explained, handing Harry another handkerchief.
"I'm sorry I worried you, angel. I just couldn't find Severus right away, so I had to go all the way up to Gryffindor tower to get my special map so I could find him," Harry explained, wiping Draco's face.
"Special map?" Draco asked, his interest caught.
Harry grinned. "Why don't you go over and ask Hermione for it and she can show you how to work it. Once you know how to work the special map, then we can explore in what time we have left before dinner."
Hermione and Ron were looking between Harry and Snape incredulously, but Harry just nodded. Draco was sufficiently distracted from his fears for the moment by the idea of this special map. He glanced at Harry a bit nervously, though.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be waiting right here until you know how to use the map, then we'll go together," Harry said calmly.
Draco was reassured and he went over to Hermione, who got the map out and began showing Draco how to use it.
Snape had stepped close to Harry.
"Blaise can tell you about what we learned in the dorm earlier," Harry whispered quietly. "He was there and heard everything Draco said as well. I don't dare leave Draco again at the moment. I shouldn't have even left him in the first place really, but I was just too angry to be near him at the time."
Snape nodded his agreement. "I will talk with them and get the rest of the explanations before dinner. After dinner I will be going to talk with the Headmaster and let him know what has occurred and discuss with him what we will need to do to help you control your magic."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said quietly. "Oh, about why I told Draco I was coming to see you—would it be all right if we took some of his things up to the tower? He recognized his bedding, in particular, from home. I think having a few familiar things around would be comforting for him," Harry explained.
"That would be acceptable. However, do not allow anything to happen to his possessions," Snape warned.
"Of course not, sir," Harry said. "I just want to help him be comfortable in his new surroundings. Uh, sir? Is Draco allowed to have his wand at this age?" Harry asked.
Snape looked at him curiously. "Didn't you have a wand when you were younger?" he asked.
Harry snorted. "No. I didn't even know I was a wizard until I was eleven and Hagrid tracked me down to give me my Hogwarts letter."
Snape, and Blaise who'd been listening in, looked at him, shocked at Harry's words. "You didn't even know you were a wizard?" Snape asked, sounding bemused.
Harry shook his head. "But that's another story. I just want to know if Draco could use his wand. Technically, for him to use the map he would need his wand. Right now, Hermione is letting him use hers to do it," Harry said, gesturing across the room.
"Yes, he may use his wand. Admittedly, many young witches and wizards do not get them until they start at Hogwarts because of the laws regarding the use of underage magic. It is not forbidden for a child to own a wand and they may use them in environments such as Hogwarts. Draco had his wand and was using it at a very early age because the wards at Malfoy Manor permitted him to do so," Snape explained. "I had assumed that the wards at your residence would have allowed you to practice magic as well."
Harry looked incredulous. "Not even close to the truth," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I thought you knew that I got tried by the full Wizengamot Court for using underage magic last year because I dared to use a Patronus Charm to expel a couple of dementors who were after me and my cousin."
He didn't have a clue as to how Snape didn't seem to know about that. He thought everyone, especially members of the Order, had known about it. But then again, Snape did have a history of trying to avoid anything that had to do with Harry Potter, he thought bitterly.
"You are joking," Snape said harshly. "They wouldn't try a fifteen-year-old under the full court for something like that."
"They will if your name is Harry Potter and Fudge and Umbridge are the ones in charge," Harry snapped.
"Harry?" Draco called tentatively.
"Have you got it figured out yet?" Harry asked brightly, dropping the discussion with Snape.
Draco nodded. "Yes, but I don't have my own wand."
Blaise winked at him. "Well, it just so happens that I tucked it into this pocket of your bag right here," he said, bringing it out with a flourish.
Draco's eyes lit up. Blaise handed it over to him.
"Are you ready to explore then, angel?" Harry asked smiling.
"Now I'm ready," Draco said grinning, holding up his wand in one hand and the map in the other.
"Well, then let's go see what we can discover before dinner," Harry said. Harry walked out of Snape's office with Draco, leaving the others to finish explaining things to Snape.
Harry and Draco explored for a little while using the map. Mainly they would find the name of a person on the map that was fairly close by and they would go and verify that that person was really there. Draco was amazed every time when the map proved accurate. After forty-five minutes, it was time for them to head to dinner.
"Time to put the map away, Draco, so we can go eat," Harry said.
Draco grinned and got his wand out of his pocket. "Mischief managed," he said, tapping his wand on the parchment.
"Good job," Harry said with a grin. Draco proudly handed the blank parchment over to Harry, who tucked it away in his bag. Then, hand-in-hand, they made their way to the Great Hall. Lunch had been with the Gryffindors which meant that they would be back at the Slytherin table for dinner. Harry could only hope that the meal would go smoothly, but he didn't think he would be that lucky, considering that everyone would be talking about what Harry had done in the Slytherin and Gryffindor common rooms.
Chapter 7: Appearances
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 7: Appearances
Only about a quarter of the students were in the Great Hall when Harry and Draco arrived. Crabbe and Goyle were already waiting for them at the Slytherin table and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Harry waved to Ron and Hermione as he went to sit down. They waved back, but unfortunately, the other students had quieted down their chatter and were watching Harry warily.
As the Great Hall quickly filled with students, Harry fixed plates for himself and Draco. Pansy and Millicent arrived and sat down across from them, but they seemed to have learned from that morning and they didn't say anything that would upset Draco. Instead, Pansy asked Draco questions about classes that morning. Blaise slipped in ten minutes later and he chatted with Draco about the exploring they'd done earlier in the afternoon.
No one in their group said anything to disturb Draco and the little boy was finally getting to eat a meal in peace. Harry, however, was very aware of all the stares directed at him and all of the whispering going on throughout the room. He should have been hungry but he didn't really have an appetite as he thought about all that had happened that afternoon.
There was just too much that had happened with no time to process it all. Right at the moment, he was sitting at the Slytherin table, of all places, eating dinner with a four-year-old Draco Malfoy. Somehow he was getting along with Draco's friends and even Snape, for that matter. Being stared at and talked about wasn't unusual in itself, but the reasons for it were highly unusual. The displays of magic he'd performed in the two common rooms were likely to be talked about in the school for a long while.
The main reason for his lack of appetite, though, had to do with the fact that he was so upset about what had happened to Draco. Harry just couldn't believe that any father could do something like that to their child. He wondered what all else the man had done to Draco over the years. He quickly diverted himself from those thoughts before he could work himself up again.
He sat there quietly, just picking at his food, as he tried to focus again on the conversation Draco was having with Pansy and Blaise.
"Are you not eating because they're all staring again?" Draco asked quietly.
Harry chuckled ruefully. "Not really. I was just thinking," he answered. He glanced around to all the staring students. "I'm afraid that I'm kind of used to being stared at. I've learned to just do my best to ignore it."
"Why are they staring?" Draco asked quietly.
Harry ruffled Draco's hair. "They're all just wondering how I got so lucky getting to be the one to take care of you," Harry said smiling.
Draco eyed him suspiciously. "You're teasing me," he accused.
Harry grinned. "Maybe, but I still think I'm lucky. Finish eating, then maybe Blaise will help us gather up some of your things to take up to the tower," Harry said.
"Sure I will," Blaise said cheerfully. He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially to Draco. "I already talked to the house elves and your sheets and blankets should already be on Harry's bed by now," he told the boy with a wink.
Draco's face lit up. "Thank you!" he exclaimed.
Pansy looked at them questioningly, but didn't comment—whatever made Draco happy.
That was the same sentiment that Harry was going with—whatever made Draco happy. With that in mind, Harry made more of an effort to eat his dinner. He was rewarded when Draco gave him a big smile.
Aside from Harry's wayward thoughts and the constant stares and whispers, dinner actually went better than Harry ever thought it would. Afterwards, Harry and Draco headed back to the Slytherin dorms with Blaise.
Draco climbed up happily onto his old bed that now had regular sheets and blankets like the other beds in the dorm.
"So, let's take a look around here," Harry said. "What should we take upstairs with us?" he asked.
"Can I take a dragon with me?" Draco asked hopefully.
"I think you should be able to pick out at least a couple of them," Harry said, ruffling Draco's hair. "Maybe you can pick out two that you like right now and then Blaise could tell you which ones are the favorites of your sixteen-year-old self."
"Sure," Blaise said agreeably. "Come here and I'll hold you so you can see them, and I'll tell you what I know about them." He held his arms out to Draco, who willing went into Blaise's arms so he could see better.
Harry wandered over to the other wardrobe and opened the drawer that he'd seen Blaise snag handkerchiefs out of earlier. "Merlin, you weren't kidding," Harry muttered.
Blaise glanced over and smirked. "I told you he had plenty of handkerchiefs. You're using them for him, so you might as well take them," he said.
Harry gave him a wry look and proceeded to grab handfuls of handkerchiefs from the drawer. He set them on the bed, then went back to check out the other drawers out of curiosity. If nothing else, maybe he could get some ideas of what to shop for on Saturday. Harry knew he had absolutely no fashion sense. Then again, that's where Blaise was going to be helpful. He not only seemed to have some fashion sense, but he also knew Draco.
Harry grew more and more amazed as he opened each drawer. In the top drawer, along with the handkerchiefs, were two compartments containing the other finishing touches, the tie tacks and cuff links. He discovered rows and rows of neatly color-coordinated socks and silk boxers. In another drawer he found numerable pairs of silk pajamas in various colors. His search also revealed a drawer filled with thicker winter socks, some warm, soft wool pajamas and several of the green and silver scarves worn by the Slytherins. Harry snagged a couple of those for Draco and added them to the pile of handkerchiefs on the bed.
"Well, Draco, you certainly are . . . organized," Harry said.
"Wait until you see the other wardrobe," Blaise said smirking. Draco was clutching a small dragon and Blaise placed it on the bed for him before they moved to the other wardrobe.
Harry took a deep breath in anticipation of what he would find in the other wardrobe. He slowly pulled open the wardrobe doors and stared dumbfounded at the contents. The wardrobe simply had to be magically enhanced for everything to fit. The wardrobe was packed, but it was obvious at first glance that it was all very well organized. Everything was hung with extreme neatness, everything very precise.
Things were arranged by type of clothing and then by color. There were shirts, then trousers, then robes hanging neatly. It was also obvious that everything was of very high quality. Much of it seemed to be silks or fine wools. Included at the end were a couple of very fine dress robes. Harry was sure that much of it, if not all, was tailor made especially for Draco.
Draco already had one of his Slytherin robes shrunk down to his current size, but Harry snagged a couple more for him. He was going to be small for the next four months and it wasn't like Draco didn't have enough of them.
There were two more drawers at the bottom of that wardrobe and Harry opened them to find several jumpers folded neatly.
"Doesn't Draco have any normal clothes?" Harry asked, sounding bemused. "You know, something that is at least slightly less formal? I know he doesn't like Muggles, but he should at least have some comfortable jeans."
Blaise nodded to the corner with his head and Harry realized that there were a couple of trunks almost hidden by the cloaks that were hanging from hooks higher up on the wall. "Open up the first one," Blaise said with a wicked grin.
Harry raised an eyebrow in interest and moved to open the trunk Blaise had indicated. As soon as he began to lift the lid, the smell of leather began wafting into the room. Harry's eyes widened in pleased surprise when he saw the contents inside. There were a few pairs of Muggle jeans like Harry had asked about and even a few Muggle shirts, some t-shirts and some that appeared to be a mesh material.
But the real prize was the leather. There was a leather jacket as well as a leather trench coat. What Harry found most interesting though were the leather trousers. Harry would love to have a pair of his own. Harry picked up a pair of black leather trousers and closed his eyes, imagining the older Draco wearing them. That was a sight that he'd like to see.
"Draco wears them sometimes when we have parties in the common room," Blaise explained. "Try them on," he said.
Harry looked at him confused. "I couldn't do that," he protested.
"Sure you could. You obviously like them and I think you and Draco are about the same size, so try them on," Blaise said encouragingly.
"But they're Draco's, not mine," Harry objected.
"So," Blaise said with a shrug. "It's not like he's going to be wearing them for awhile. Besides, he's got plenty."
Harry looked torn. "I don't think Draco would like Harry Potter trying on his clothes," he protested weakly.
"Well, I'm Draco and I say you can try them on if you want to," Draco said haughtily.
Harry gave Draco a small smile then gave in to what he wanted to do anyway. He quickly toed off his trainers as he unbuttoned and shrugged out of his robes. He took his own trousers off and then shimmied into the leather trousers. Buttoning them, he moved to stand in front of the mirror to see how they looked.
Blaise had been right and they fit him well. Harry had a pleased grin as he admired the leather trousers. Blaise had been flipping through clothes in the wardrobe and passed Harry a long sleeved emerald green silk shirt.
"Try this on and leave it un-tucked," Blaise commanded, then moved to crouch down beside the bed, digging underneath.
Harry just shrugged and did what he'd been told. He slipped his t-shirt off and pulled on the silk shirt, buttoning it up.
Blaise let out a sound of triumph and Harry turned to see what the big deal was. "Step into these," Blaise commanded, pushing forward a pair of black dragon hide ankle boots.
Harry gave Blaise a look of protest, but Blaise just pointed to the boots commandingly. Harry sighed and sat down on the bed to put them on. Once they were on, he stood and took a couple of steps. They actually fit well.
Suddenly, Blaise let out a low wolf whistle. "Merlin, Harry. You sure do clean up well," he said in appreciation.
Harry looked at him in surprise.
"You look great!" Draco declared.
"Thanks, angel," Harry said, smiling gently at Draco and ruffling his hair.
Harry moved back to the mirror and then just stared at his reflection. "Wow!" he breathed. "I actually do look all right."
Blaise chuckled. "You look more than all right. You look fantastic. And the green is a good color on you because it matches your eyes." Blaise eyed Harry critically. "You'd look even better without your glasses though, I think."
Harry shrugged. "Probably. I've thought about getting contacts, but I haven't been able to do much about it."
"What are contacts?" Blaise asked with a look of confusion.
"They're thin pieces of plastic that go directly on your eyes. They correct your vision just like glasses do, but no one can see them," Harry explained.
"Oh. Well, why haven't you gotten any, then?" Blaise asked.
"There's no way that I could talk my relatives into taking me to get any, and they certainly wouldn't pay for them," Harry explained. "Besides that, I'm here at Hogwarts most of the rest of the year and any other time I'm under so much damn protection that I can't move anywhere," he said somewhat bitterly.
"Okay, the protection I understand and Hogwarts I understand. But I don't understand why your relatives wouldn't take you and you've got about as much money as Draco with the Black vaults," Blaise said in confusion.
Harry blinked in surprise. "I have as much money as the Malfoys?" Harry asked incredulously.
Blaise smirked. "Yeah, that's why I was so shocked in Dumbledore's office this afternoon. But anyway, you've had access to the Potter vaults all this time, too. You've got more money than you can spend, so why couldn't you get some simple contacts?"
Harry sighed and looked over at Draco, who had given up on their conversation and was quietly playing with the dragons he'd picked out to take upstairs. Harry really did understand how Draco could be motivated to relive four months of his childhood under better conditions.
"It's a long story," Harry said to Blaise. "But basically my relatives hate me and have always considered me as the burden they never wanted. Muggles in general are good, but my relatives are the type to give Muggles their bad reputation. They don't give me anything unless extreme necessity requires it. And I do mean extreme necessity," Harry said bitterly. "I wear my fat slob of a cousin's old clothing, and that's about all I get from them. I get enough food to keep me alive, I suppose," Harry added thoughtfully.
Harry was lost in his own thoughts as he tried to describe the basic reasons to Blaise and didn't notice the look of horror that crossed Blaise's face. Harry just continued on.
"They're also a greedy lot. I don't dare let them know I have my own money or they'd find a way to take it from me. They are my guardians, after all, whether I like them or not. Even if I had a chance to buy myself new things, I'd never take them to that house and I'm required to go there every summer. For my own protection," Harry mimicked, pulling a face.
Blaise didn't look happy but he was starting to look like he understood. "You've never shopped for clothes in your life, have you?" he asked, with a sweeping gesture at all of Draco's clothes.
Harry snorted. "No, not once, unless you count getting my school robes, but that's it. I've learned not to care much. I didn't have much choice to do otherwise. It's not like I've got any fashion sense anyway," Harry added humorously.
"Keep what you're wearing," Blaise said decisively. "You can wear it when we go shopping on Saturday. And when we go shopping, we're getting clothes for you, as well as Draco."
"Like Snape would ever allow time for that," Harry scoffed.
"He's going to have to," Blaise insisted. "Besides, with you being the same size as Draco, it'll make it easy," he said slyly.
"Why's that?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"Because all the shops know Draco and his sizes. All I have to do is tell the shop owners to gather up clothing that Draco would approve of and they'll essentially do the shopping for you. All you'll have to do is pay for it," Blaise smirked.
"But I wouldn't even be comfortable in so much formal clothing like Draco," Harry protested in horror at the very idea. Draco looked good in them, yeah, and he could pull the look off well, but it wasn't the look for Harry.
Blaise just waved his hand dismissively. "You can get a few formal clothes, but I admit it's not your style. We'll just ask for more casual clothes and they do know Draco at one Muggle store at least," Blaise said, gesturing to the still open trunk in the corner.
Harry sighed in resignation at the idea of shopping for himself, and then he brightened a little. "I won't have to wear Dudley's clothes all year," he said in wonder.
"Nope! You're going to finally have your own wardrobe," Blaise said with a grin.
Harry grinned as well. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of shopping for myself, but maybe I could get used to this idea."
Blaise gave him another sly look. "Also, remember you're taking care of the number one fashion critic in Hogwarts for the next four months. It's not going to hurt to have his sixteen-year-old self essentially giving you fashion advice through the shop owners. When said sixteen-year-old self is back to normal, he'll likely be appreciative of you dressing in better clothes. Sounds vain, but that's Draco," he said with a shrug.
Harry grimaced. "You're right. I'm not sure I really want to think about how he's going to feel about all this four months from now."
They both turned to watch the little boy who was still playing quietly on the bed. "I don't really know how he'll react," Blaise said softly. "But I do know that already you're doing a lot for him. You're good for him."
"I'm trying," Harry said just as softly. Then he glanced at the bedside clock. "Actually, I need to be getting this little boy upstairs, cleaned up and ready for bed. We've been down here for a long time and I didn't realize it was getting so late already."
"You haven't gone through his other trunks yet," Blaise protested.
"I'm not really sure I'm comfortable with going through his personal trunk," Harry admitted. "Just like I didn't go through the things in his bag."
"You didn't go through his bag?" Blaise asked in surprise.
Harry shook his head. "No, it just didn't feel right. I can't see the sixteen-year-old Draco approving, of me especially, prying into his things."
Blaise shook his head ruefully. "Just when I get to thinking you'd make a good Slytherin, you behave like a noble Gryffindor."
Harry smirked. "I never said I couldn't do both."
"You can't do both!" Blaise objected.
"Why not? It's what I'm doing," Harry said with a mischievous grin. "We'll discuss trunks again later. Right now, help me get these things packed up so I can get him upstairs before it gets any later. It's a good thing he had a couple of naps today," Harry muttered.
Blaise pulled an extra bag out from under the bed and helped Harry pack everything they'd gathered. Harry stuffed his clothes and shoes into his own bag, but shrugged his robes back onto his shoulders without bothering to take the time to button them up.
They wrapped Draco's dragons in some of the handkerchiefs to protect them, but Draco kept one of them out to carry upstairs himself. Soon enough, they were all packed up and ready to go. Blaise walked out to the common room with them, saying his goodbyes, but Pansy stopped Harry before he could leave.
"Stop!" she commanded.
"What?" Harry asked defensively. She was looking at him strangely and Harry didn't know what to think of that. Harry had made a spectacle of himself with his magic displays earlier and wasn't sure what to do if anyone really intended to confront him about it. Otherwise, he could quite happily go about ignoring the stares and whispers and pretend like it had never happened.
"Take your robes off," she demanded.
"What?!" Harry exclaimed loud enough to gain the attention of anyone in the common room who wasn't already watching them.
"I think she wants to see your new clothes," Blaise smirked.
Harry flushed. He really didn't want to make a display of himself and wasn't sure how Pansy would feel about him wearing Draco's clothes. But then he decided to hell with it. He knew he looked good for once in his life and this was a far better way to make a spectacle of himself than he had earlier. He looked down at Draco, who was grinning up at him proudly, and that cinched it. Harry passed their bags over to Blaise and shrugged out of his robes.
"So, what do you think?" Harry asked Pansy with a mischievous grin as he spun in a circle showing off his new clothes.
Harry received quite a few wolf whistles and cat calls and he smirked at Pansy who was staring at him gobsmacked. She blinked.
"Merlin, Potter," she breathed. "You look as good in that outfit as Draco does."
Harry bowed with a flourish. "I will take that as the ultimate compliment, my lady," Harry said, winking at her as he straightened again.
She giggled as she slapped him on the arm. "If Draco wasn't only four years old, I'd swear you'd been taking lessons from him."
Harry grinned. "Nope! Just feeling good at the moment," he declared.
Draco was giggling at Harry's antics, too, and Blaise was laughing and enjoying the show.
"It is time for myself and the little prince to leave," Harry declared haughtily, even though he was grinning. He shrugged his robes back on and took the bags back from Blaise. "We shall see you all tomorrow. That's your cue to wave goodbye," Harry stage whispered to Draco.
Draco giggled and waved to everyone before they left the common room with everyone laughing behind them. Crabbe and Goyle quietly left with them and escorted them back to the tower.
Harry shook his head in disbelief at his own actions, but was smiling happily. Blaise had said he was good for Draco, but maybe this whole ordeal was good for him, too.
Harry got a sense of déjà vu when they entered the Gryffindor common room. Hermione had spotted them climbing through the portrait hole and Harry didn't get very far before Hermione shouted "Stop!"
Harry turned to face her.
"Take your robes off," she commanded.
Harry winked down at Draco, causing the little boy to giggle as Harry did as he was told. He set their bags down on the floor, shrugged his robes off and tossed them on top of their bags. He spun in a circle showing off the new look, receiving more wolf whistles and cat calls in the process.
"Looking good, Harry!" Seamus shouted.
Harry grinned at him. "Thanks!"
Hermione was staring at her friend, as gobsmacked as Pansy had earlier.
"You look fantastic!" she finally exclaimed. "I didn't know you cleaned up so well."
Harry bowed to her as he had done to Pansy. "Why thank you, my lady," Harry replied graciously.
Hermione played along and put the back of her hand up to her forehead. "Oh, my brave, handsome knight in shining armor," she said as she pretended to swoon.
Harry caught her in his arms. "Thank you, oh noble knight, for saving me," she said breathlessly.
"That's my job, dear lady. Anything to rescue the damsel in distress," he declared.
She stood up and swatted him on the arm. "I'm not a damsel in distress," she said grinning.
Harry just snickered at her as the Gryffindors broke out into laughter over their performance. If behaving a little ridiculously helped everyone to relax around him again, then he decided it was more than worth it.
Harry swooped the giggling Draco up into his arms and ruffled his hair. "Is my little prince set to get ready for bed?" Harry asked.
Before Draco got a chance to answer, Hermione had another question.
"Not so fast," she said. "What's with the clothes? They look good, but where'd they come from and why are you wearing them?" she asked.
"Blaise seemed to think my name was Ken," Harry smiled ruefully.
Most of the students looked confused at Harry's words, but Hermione and Dean, along with a few other Muggle-borns, broke out in surprised laughter. Hermione laughed so hard she ended up with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"What's so funny?" Seamus asked Dean.
"Ken is a Muggle toy. It's a boy doll that little girls dress up in different clothes," Dean explained.
"Which means, from what Harry said, Blaise was basically playing dress up with Harry," Hermione added.
Even Ron seemed to think that was funny. "You mean Zabini was dressing you up like a doll?" he asked incredulously.
Harry nodded and decided he better explain. "We were going through Draco's things so he could bring back some things that were familiar to him."
Ron interrupted. "Does that explain why you've now got black satin sheets and a velvet comforter?" he asked.
"Yes," Harry answered, looking at Draco and giving the boy a squeeze. "They were on his bed in the Slytherin dorms and he recognized them from home."
"Figures Malfoy would have satin sheets," Ron muttered.
Harry glared at him. "Hopefully they'll make him feel more comfortable here. His bedding, of all things, is one of the few things that have been familiar at all to him. When you were four, I'm sure you liked to have things around you that were familiar, too."
Ron held up his hands in surrender and didn't say anything more.
Harry paused to give Draco a reassuring kiss on the forehead. The little boy was holding on to Harry a little tighter since he'd felt the bit of tension.
"So anyway, I was going through some things and came across these leather trousers. I've always wanted some," Harry said with a shrug, flushing a little in embarrassment. "Blaise and Draco talked me into trying them on since we seem to be the same size. But then Blaise didn't let it go there and he completed the look with the shirt and the boots. Blaise told me to keep them."
"Won't Draco be upset with you taking his clothes?" Hermione asked in concern.
" I'm Draco," Draco spoke up defiantly. "And I said he could have them. I think he looks nice.
Harry grinned and gestured with his free hand to the little boy in his arms. "And that's the reason why I'm still wearing these clothes. I had tried to protest, but I just couldn't argue with that."
The Gryffindors laughed. Most would have admitted that it was hard to argue with the cute little boy, even if they did know that it was technically the Draco Malfoy who had antagonized them for so many years.
Hermione smiled gently at Draco. "I apologize for kind of forgetting that you are actually Draco."
Draco shrugged. "That's all right. It happens a lot," he said.
Hermione didn't lose her smile. "I'm sure it does. But you're right, you know. Harry does look very nice in your clothes and it was nice of you to give them to him."
"Oh, and I haven't properly thanked you. What was I thinking?" Harry said, slapping a hand on his forehead. "Thank you, Draco."
"You're welcome, Harry," Draco said softly, offering Harry a very sweet smile. Harry kissed him on the forehead again before hugging him close. Harry ignored the "awwws" that came from Hermione and many of the other Gryffindor girls.
"What else did you find, Draco?" Hermione asked curiously, indicating the figurine Draco was still clutching in his hand.
Draco's eyes lit up. "I found my dragons! Harry said I could bring a few of them up here." He proudly held up his prize to show her. "I got this one for my birthday when I turned four. It's a Peruvian Vipertooth. It's the smallest of the dragons, but it's also the fastest flier."
"It's fabulous!" Hermione declared, grinning at the boy's enthusiasm for his dragons. "You really like dragons, don't you?"
Draco nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. I'd think they were brill even if my name wasn't Draco. I can't show you the others now because Harry says I have to go to bed and he says we won't unpack them tonight, but I can show you tomorrow," Draco said hopefully.
"I'd like that," Hermione said smiling.
"All right, angel. You're right, and I am saying it is way past time for you to go to bed. It's been a very long day," Harry said. Hermione handed Harry his robes and their bags. They said their good nights and made their way up the stairs.
Harry quickly got them both changed into pajamas, before crawling into bed with a couple of books. Harry propped himself up against the headboard to read and they didn't even make it all the way through the first book before Draco was asleep. Setting the books and his glasses on the bedside table, Harry settled into bed with Draco. He fell asleep quickly himself, snuggled up protectively around the little boy, the both of them wrapped in the softness of the velvet comforter.
A/N: I feel it is necessary to address the issue that there have been some recent comparisons between 'Malfoy Child' and 'To the Moon' by Constant Vigilance. I appreciate that 'To the Moon' is a wonderful de-aged Draco fic and I love the story. If you haven't read it, then you should! I have been in contact with Constant Vigilance and she has expressed her approval for me continuing this fic.
My intention with writing 'Malfoy Child' is not to detract from other fics or authors in any way. I am simply working to put together my own story with the general theme of a de-aged Draco. I don't believe there are nearly enough fanfics out there for those of us who enjoy this type of story. With both my fics, 'Malfoy Flavor' and 'Malfoy Child', I have taken basic themes of the Harry Potter fandom like Severitus, Slytherin!Harry and Draco-as-a-child and twisted them into my own little worlds based off of canon. These are common themes running throughout the HP fandom. I believe that I've taken some of these commonalities and put my own spin on all of it.
With only a third of this fic now posted, there is still a lot that will be happening throughout the remaining chapters of 'Malfoy Child' and its twelve chapter sequel. As the story progresses, the many differences between my fic and 'To the Moon' will become even more evident.
I've worked hard over the last few months on this story, and I truly appreciate the reviews and overall positive response I've received.
Thank you,
Vorabiza
Chapter 8: More Nightmares
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 8: More Nightmares
Unfortunately, it was not to be an easy night for either of them. Draco woke screaming from a nightmare shortly after midnight. His terrified cries were an unusual and horrifying sound in the dorm, and all of the boys were startled awake.
Harry rocked him and soothed him, rubbing his back calmly and stroking his hair as the little boy sobbed out his terror. Neville, who in is own way was as much the pureblood gentleman as Draco Malfoy, was the one who passed Harry a handkerchief to clean the little one's face.
Ron may have still been uncomfortable with Malfoy and wasn't sure how to handle a child, but he did have experience with nightmares after living with Harry throughout much of the year. Screaming left a person's throat feeling raw and hoarse, so Ron poured a glass of water and sat down on the bed, offering it to Draco.
"Another nightmare?" Harry asked softly.
Draco nodded into Harry's chest. He was still hiccupping occasionally, but the tears had stopped.
"Was it the same one?" Harry asked.
Draco shook his head, but then he nodded. Harry glanced at Ron sitting on the bed next to them and Neville, Dean and Seamus who were currently sitting on the edge of Ron's bed. He sent them all a warning glare not to say anything.
"Was it about your father again, but something different happened?" Harry guessed.
Draco sniffled and nodded.
"Why don't you tell me about it, so then I can worry about it for you and you won't have to be scared about it anymore?" Harry suggested.
There was no movement or sound from Draco for a minute. Then he nodded and spoke up softly. "He . . . he was punishing me again, because I did something bad."
Harry closed his eyes. Ron was beginning to understand what must have happened the day before because he could actually feel the power beginning to build in Harry. Ron quietly moved and laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, hoping to ground him before his power could get out of control.
"What did you do that was supposedly bad?" Harry asked calmly.
"I got my new robes dirty when I went outside. Father had told me to be careful and I wasn't," Draco admitted.
Harry took a deep breath. "Did he take you to the dungeons again?"
Draco's shudder wracked his whole frame, which was answer enough.
"Did he cast Crucio on you again?" Harry asked evenly. Ron's grip on Harry's shoulder tightened painfully, but Harry was thankful because it was helping to ground him better than he ever would have thought possible.
Draco nodded his little head. "But there was no body this time," he whispered.
Ron's grip tightened even more in his horror, but those words actually made Harry feel a touch calmer. At least Draco hadn't had to see a dead body in his nightmare this time.
"Is that everything?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded once again, and Harry hugged him tightly. "It was good that you told me, angel. I'm proud of you."
Harry pulled back from Draco a little and tilted the boy's head up so he could look at him. Draco met his gaze willingly and trustingly. "Remember what I told you. I'm going to keep you safe and your father's not going to hurt you anymore. I know that you love your father and that's all right, but it's not all right for him to hurt you like that. It was very wrong for him to punish you so severely."
"But he told me to be careful and I wasn't," Draco whispered.
Harry shook his head. "That doesn't matter. What you did was not nearly that bad to be punished so harshly. Besides that, your father should know that little boys are going to get dirty sometimes. That's what little boys do," Harry said.
"Really?" Draco asked, sounding bemused by that idea.
Harry chuckled lightly, which went a long way towards breaking the tension in the room. Ron could literally feel Harry's magic calming down as well.
"Yes, really," Harry said smiling. "When I was your age, I was always getting dirty."
Draco looked at him wonderingly.
"Me, too," Ron spoke up. "I would get dirty all the time because I liked being outside and I liked exploring in the field by our house. It was dirty, but a lot of fun."
Dean decided to add to the conversation that was distracting Draco so well. "My big sister used to make me play house with her, which I didn't always like, but I loved it when she let me make pretend pies out of mud. I was always a filthy mess afterwards," Dean said laughing.
"And your father didn't care?" Draco asked skeptically.
"Nope!" Dean said with a grin. "Either him or my mum would just pop me in the bath to clean me up."
"I was like you, Draco," Neville said quietly. "I was supposed to be a proper pureblood wizard and I wasn't allowed to get dirty."
That, Draco understood. "If you did get dirty, how were you punished?" he asked softly.
"Well, I remember once when I got some of my brand new robes dirty because I wasn't careful. I had to wash them myself so that I'd remember not to get them dirty again," Neville answered quietly.
"Oh," Draco said. He looked up at Harry. "Is that what you meant by 'not harshly'?" Draco asked.
"Yes," Harry agreed. "Neville's punishment wasn't pleasant for him, but it wasn't nearly as harsh or as bad as yours was."
Draco's brow was furrowed as he tried to think all this out. "Were you allowed to get dirty?" Draco asked Seamus, wanting the opinion of the last person in the room.
"Sometimes yes, sometimes no," Seamus said. "Sometimes I was told to go outside and play and it didn't matter how dirty I got. But other times, like when we had company, I was supposed to stay clean."
"See, that's probably the best way," Harry said. "There are times you can get dirty and times that you shouldn't. But sometimes accidents happen and you get dirty even when you shouldn't. Accidents aren't your fault and you shouldn't be punished in any way for them," Harry said firmly. He locked eyes with Draco. "And under no circumstances are you ever going to be punished so painfully anymore. Understand?"
Draco took a deep breath and nodded. Then he yawned.
"I think it's time for you to go back to sleep, little man," Seamus said with a grin. His yawn was causing all of the older boys to yawn, too. It was almost one o'clock in the morning by now. Draco already had his eyes closed and was snuggled up into Harry's chest before Seamus even finished his sentence.
"You all right, mate?" Ron whispered.
"Yeah, thanks," Harry said gratefully.
"No problem," he said, giving Harry's shoulder a squeeze before he let go.
"He asleep already?" Neville asked, as the other boys got up and they all prepared to go back to bed.
Harry looked down, checking on Draco, and smiled gently. "Yeah. It's been a rough day for him."
"Been a rough day for you, too, mate," Seamus said knowingly.
Harry gave a heavy sigh. "Yeah, it has. Look guys, will you promise not to say anything about Draco and his father?" Harry asked.
"We don't say anything about your nightmares, and don't give away your secrets; we won't be saying anything about his either," Dean said, and they all nodded in agreement.
"Thanks," Harry said with a sigh of relief.
"His father was what all those outbursts were about yesterday, isn't it?" Ron asked.
Harry's expression darkened but he remained calm with Draco in his arms. "Yes," he answered simply.
Ron nodded. He wouldn't ask for any more information and let it go at that. Ron went back to his bed and the others did the same. Harry lay back down and got him and Draco situated comfortably once again.
Harry's magic was thankfully under control, but his mind wasn't. He lay there thinking about everything that had happened. He was still incredibly angry, but knowing what he would hear and with Ron there to help ground him, he'd been able to keep his magic under control this time while he'd talked with Draco about his nightmare.
He supposed that a lot of the problem had been the shock at what he'd discovered the day before that had contributed to his loss of control. The shock at breakfast, of discovering that Lucius had been hurting Draco, had gotten both him and Snape angry enough to want to release.
The even larger shock of discovering just how Lucius had been hurting Draco caused such a build up of shock and rage that Harry needed more of a release and his magic had gotten involved with the intensity of his emotions.
Harry hoped that Snape and Dumbledore had been able to figure out exactly what had happened with Harry's magic and what he could do to keep it under control. He certainly didn't want to hurt anyone accidentally.
He'd love to release his magic on Lucius Malfoy, though. The man didn't deserve any mercy after what he'd subjected his child to. He'd threatened the tiny boy's life and forced him to look upon a tortured and murdered body while Draco himself was tortured under the Cruciatus curse. It was cruel and unbelievable, yet Harry didn't question the truth of what Draco had told him.
Harry knew that Lucius Malfoy was a cold, cruel man, but he had never thought that the man would subject his own son to such cruelty. Harry shuddered to think what else Draco had been subjected to as he grew older. Harry could easily believe that as he grew up, Draco was forced to watch as his father tortured and killed.
As he continued to lie there thinking, Harry realized that Draco still hadn't actually asked where his father or his mother was. Was Draco so terrified of them that he didn't want to know, or was he so used to their long absences in his life that he was used to them being gone? It wasn't hard to believe that his parents would leave the actual child rearing to the house elves or other hired help, like nannies and tutors.
Whichever the case was, Harry was determined to make the next four months enjoyable for Draco. With that thought firmly planted in his mind, Harry nuzzled his face in the little boy's soft hair and hugged him a little closer while finally drifting off to sleep again.
Unfortunately, the pleasant thought didn't stay. Harry's subconscious was obviously still focused on Lucius Malfoy, and his nightmares surrounded his past meetings with the man. Mixed in with the real memories were terrifying images of both the younger and older Draco thrashing on the ground screaming in pain, while Lucius held his wand focused on the boy and laughing cruelly. The laughter slowly changed until it was sounding sickeningly like Voldemort's high pitched cackle.
Harry woke with a scream still caught in his throat. He jerked upright and stared wildly at his surroundings, clutching his throbbing forehead. Panting heavily, he snagged his glasses off the bedside table and quickly put them on, desperately attempting to reorient himself.
As the darkened room came into focus, Harry realized that everyone was awake once again. Neville was sitting at the end of his bed trying to calm a sobbing Draco. Ron was sitting next to him and Harry realized that Ron had probably been trying to wake him for at least a few minutes. Dean and Seamus were standing beside his bed, shifting nervously and looking worried.
"Do you need to go see Dumbledore?" Ron asked anxiously.
Harry shook his head, but then regretted the movement immediately, and renewed the pressure of his hand pressing into his forehead. He held his other hand out to Draco and the little boy came scrambling into his lap immediately.
"Harry, are you sure you don't need to see Dumbledore?" Ron didn't sound any less anxious.
"No, he was just laughing at my nightmares," Harry said hoarsely. Ron and the others all looked terrified. They all understood who 'he' was. Even Dean and Seamus understood that much, though they didn't know about everything that Harry was subjected to under Voldemort.
Neville and Ron knew how deeply Voldemort could affect Harry. With Neville being a part of everything that had happened last spring, he'd learned far more about what Voldemort was capable of.
"No visions?" Neville asked nervously.
"No, just nightmares with a twist," Harry said bitterly.
Ron handed Harry a glass of water, which Harry gratefully drank down. The cold liquid felt wonderfully soothing on his raw throat.
"Are you okay?" Draco choked out between sobs. "I was so scared."
Harry tried to ignore the pain in his forehead and wrapped both arms around the little boy, shushing him. "Shhh, I'm okay. I didn't mean to scare you. This was why I was kind of worried about you sleeping with me, because I have nightmares just like you do. I'm so sorry I woke you up and scared you. Shhh, it's all right now."
Harry felt absolutely horrible for upsetting Draco and his misery showed on his face. Draco lifted his little hands and placed them on Harry's cheeks. "It's all right, Harry. I was just scared for you because you were screaming so loud and you wouldn't wake up. I was scared you were hurt bad."
Harry gave him a small smile. "I'm all right, angel."
Draco stretched up and kissed Harry on the forehead then threw his arms around Harry, giving him a big hug. Ron passed Harry yet another handkerchief and Harry got the boy cleaned up before tucking him back into bed under the blankets. Harry was amazed at the boy's resilience when Draco promptly fell back asleep, assured that Harry was okay and that he himself was safe.
Dean and Seamus had already drifted back to their beds when they realized Harry was going to be all right. Ron and Neville were still staring at Harry a bit anxiously, though.
"Are you sure you're all right, mate?" Ron asked, once he was sure Draco was asleep. "You-know-who didn't plant any visions or anything?"
"No, Ron," Harry said wearily. "After everything that happened yesterday I was dreaming about Lucius and all the different times I've dealt with the bastard. Only this time I was also seeing him torture Draco, both four and sixteen, under the Cruciatus curse. He was laughing cruelly at his son, but then the laughter turned into Voldemort's and that's when I woke up."
Ron and Neville both flinched at the sound of Voldemort's name, causing Harry to roll his eyes. He didn't comment on it, though, because both of them were already looking terrified and slightly green at the realization that Voldemort had gotten through the link to Harry's mind again.
"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Well, not fine exactly, but there's no emergency. I don't need to see Dumbledore and there's nothing else to be done. Just go back to bed. I'm sorry that I woke you guys up yet again tonight," Harry said.
"No problem, mate. We're here for you when you need us," Ron said, and Neville nodded his agreement. They were still looking concerned, but they both slowly went back to their beds.
It wasn't long before Harry could hear everyone sleeping peacefully again. He knew he wasn't going to be going back to sleep, though, if for no other reason than the fact that his head was still throbbing. He made sure that Draco was tucked in securely, and carefully climbed out of bed.
Harry rummaged through his trunk until he found what he was looking for. He snagged some ink and a quill from his bag, then went to sit on Draco's unused bed. He pulled the bed curtains part way to shield the light, but left them open enough where he could still see Draco and keep an eye on him.
Harry propped himself up against the headboard and pulled the blankets up over his lap to keep warm, getting himself comfortable. Only then did he take a look at what he'd retrieved from his trunk. It was a leather bound diary that Hermione had given him for his birthday. Diaries were kind of a girly thing, but she'd said that she'd given it to him because maybe it would help him deal with the loss of Sirius. Writing was therapeutic, she'd said.
Harry ran his hand over the fine leather and the gold lock. It was a key lock but Hermione had charmed it so that it would only open with whatever password Harry chose and a tap of his wand. It worked similar to the way the Marauder's Map worked.
Harry had never written in the diary. The idea of writing in a diary had reminded him too much of Riddle's diary. And those were far from pleasant memories.
Now, however, Harry sat staring at the diary in his lap. He wasn't thinking about Riddle, Hermione or even Sirius. He was thinking about Draco, and he was thinking about his own childhood.
For ten years of Harry's life there was almost nothing to show that he'd even existed. There were no pictures of him, no mementos of any kind, and certainly no one who would reminisce with fond memories relating to his childhood. Harry had lost his parents and had no memory of them. He'd had Sirius for such a short time. Remus was the only one left and even Remus could only tell him about a few things that had happened in Harry's first year of life.
Harry glanced over at the little boy sleeping peacefully in Harry's bed. Harry couldn't be sure of what had happened to Draco Malfoy, but he strongly suspected that the boy was looking for a second chance. Extreme to be sure, but then, Draco's life had been extreme so far. Of that Harry was positive.
With a firm resolve, Harry opened the diary and began writing about everything that had happened since Draco's cauldron had first exploded. Good and bad, Harry recorded it. Harry hesitated only briefly as he debated whether or not to include his own personal thoughts and feelings regarding the boy. It wouldn't be the same without the personal touches, so Harry included them. Of course, he didn't include anything too personal.
Two hours later, Harry closed the diary and locked it with a sense of satisfaction that he was doing something good. Although, he did decide that he was going to call it a journal instead of a diary. The word 'diary' still had too many bad connotations. He snorted softly to himself, realizing it didn't technically matter what he called it.
It was almost seven o'clock and Harry started gathering his and Draco's things for the day. Harry woke up the sleepy boy, who wasn't ready to be awake yet, and hustled him into the shower. He was almost glad they hadn't had time to shower the night before when the shower helped to refresh and wake them both up a bit. Although neither of them were still particularly alert and at their best, they were better than they were.
Chapter 9: Lessons
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 9: Lessons
The dorm was unusually quiet that morning as all five dorm mates and Draco got dressed and ready for the day. Somehow, they all managed to troop down to the common room together where Hermione and Ginny were waiting for them. Harry wasn't sure, but he thought his friends were deliberately sticking close to himself and Draco this morning, making sure they were all right after the nightmares the night before.
Hermione and Ginny frowned in concern at the subdued group. "Is everything all right?" Hermione asked worriedly. Harry's friends all turned to look at him. Even Draco looked up at him.
Harry rolled his eyes at their worry, even as he looked a bit sheepish for having woken everyone up during the night. "Everything's fine. We're all just a little extra tired this morning. That's all," Harry said with a tone of finality. He wasn't going to say anything more, particularly with Draco present.
The worry didn't lessen from the girls' expressions but they didn't say anything else. They all trooped out of the common room to go to breakfast. No one seemed particularly surprised to see Crabbe and Goyle waiting for Harry and Draco, although the other Gryffindor boys watched the Slytherins warily. Harry and Draco just exchanged good mornings with them, and then led the odd group down the hallway.
Hermione and Ginny held Ron and the other Gryffindor boys back. Harry knew they were trying to find out what had really happened the night before. Harry didn't mind as long as they didn't bring it up around Draco. Then again, he didn't particularly feel like talking about it himself either.
When they got to the Great Hall, Harry and Draco parted from the two Slytherins to have breakfast with the Gryffindors. Harry loaded Draco's plate with bacon, eggs and toast and poured him some juice before loading his own plate. Their section of the table was extra quiet as they tiredly ate their breakfasts.
Harry glanced up at Snape who was watching them with narrowed, suspicious eyes. Harry knew that Snape noticed the unusually weary group. Looking over to the Slytherin table he caught Blaise's gaze, who was also watching the group with worried eyes. Harry just gave him a smile, which Blaise returned even though he didn't look any less worried.
Harry went back to eating his breakfast, first making sure that Draco was doing okay still. They were both startled when Hedwig suddenly landed in front of them.
Draco was looking at her in awe. Harry chuckled. "This is my owl. Her name is Hedwig. Why don't you give her a piece of your bacon, Draco?" Harry suggested.
Harry untied the letter from her leg then gazed at Draco while he watched in fascination as Hedwig ate the bacon he gave her. "You can pet her if you want," Harry encouraged.
"Can I?" Draco eagerly asked.
"Sure, she likes being petted," Harry said with a smile, and watched as Draco tentatively reached out to pet her. Hedwig preened and seemed to take to the little boy. Soon, Harry shooed her off, sending her back to the owlery, promising Draco that he would take Draco to see her at some point and show him the rest of the owls. He instructed Draco to finish his breakfast and Draco eagerly tucked back in with new enthusiasm. Harry smiled, watching him for a moment, then turned his attention to the letter he'd actually received.
"Who's it from?" Hermione asked curiously.
"Snape," Harry answered absently, as he was still reading.
"You're sure getting friendly with the greasy git," Ron commented with a grimace.
Harry glared and gave a pointed look in Draco's direction, who luckily hadn't heard the insult to his godfather.
Ron rolled his eyes. "So, what's he have to say then?"
"Is it about what happened yesterday?" Hermione asked in concern.
Harry nodded absently, back to reading the letter. Once he was finished, he ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. He folded the letter and slipped it into his bag.
"Well?" Ron asked leadingly.
It was Harry's turn to roll his eyes. His friends were nothing if not persistent.
"Mainly I'm supposed to watch my emotions today because of what happened yesterday. He also said I have to meet him and Dumbledore at four o'clock this afternoon and that it'll be okay if Draco comes," Harry enlightened his friends.
What he didn't tell them was that he was supposed to avoid casting any spells and be extra cautious if he did have to because he could easily lose control of his magic again. By all means, he wasn't supposed to shout out spells like a person normally would for a lot of spells. "Speak quietly" had been underlined three times. Being careful around his godson was also emphasized. They'd be going over ways to control his magic that afternoon.
Hermione was eyeing Harry suspiciously, like she knew he wasn't telling them everything, but she didn't ask for once. Having Draco around had its extra bonuses. It was certainly helping to keep Hermione from asking too many questions. Harry just sent Hermione a grin and finished off his pumpkin juice.
Draco was already finished and was staring up at the enchanted ceiling in wonder.
"Are you ready for classes, angel?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded and clambered down off the bench. Harry helped him put his bag over his shoulders and they were ready to go. Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle met up with the group of Gryffindors as they all headed outside for Care of Magical Creatures.
As they neared Hagrid's hut, Harry had a thought. "You know, Draco," Harry began conversationally. "I want you to pay attention for once in Care of Magical Creatures class today."
Draco nodded enthusiastically. He was happy to be outside.
Harry grinned and just waited for the others to catch on. With Harry's conversational tone, it took the others a few seconds to realize exactly what Harry had said. Suddenly laughter broke out and sounded throughout the grounds.
"For once!" Ron guffawed.
Harry was glad to see that even the Slytherins were laughing.
"I must admit, this is the first time I've ever seen Draco looking forward to this class," Blaise said, snickering at his friend.
"It'll be good for him," Hermione said primly.
"Actually, I think he'll like this class. He seems to really like creatures. He's just never liked Hagrid. Given that circumstance, I'm guessing he couldn't allow himself to like the class even if he'd wanted to," Harry said, giving them all something to think about as Hagrid stepped forward, ready to begin class.
The lesson turned out to be fun for everyone. Hagrid had a bunch of clabberts for them to study for awhile. They were funny looking creatures, with their monkey and frog-like features. Today they were to be taking the creatures for a walk on a leash, but with their urge to hop or swing through the trees, it made for interesting "walks". Everyone learned very quickly to keep them away from the trees and stick to open areas.
They really were ugly creatures but not particularly harmful, which everyone was thankful for. They wouldn't hurt anyone. The clabberts' sharp teeth were just for being able to eat their diet of lizards and birds easier. Their defense was entertaining rather than harmful. When they sensed danger, the ugly pustules in the middle of their forehead would flash.
Draco was in constant giggles the entire class, which entertained everyone, even the ones who were frustrated waiting for Hagrid to get their clabberts down from the tree branches. Harry helped Draco take one for a walk and Draco hopped along almost as much as the clabbert did.
It was a joyful group that headed back to the castle after class was over. As they neared the Charms classroom for the next class, Harry started getting a little nervous though. How was he supposed to avoid using his wand in this class? There was plenty of "foolish wand waving" that occurred in Charms.
Harry got him and Draco settled in at the back of the classroom and for once hoped for a lesson completely filled with taking notes. He knew it wouldn't happen because if Professor Flitwick had them take notes at all, it was always during the first part of class and they spent time working on the practical during every class.
Today they did take notes for a little while. They would be working on Levitation charms again but with a slightly new twist. Flitwick had them taking notes while he described how and what was necessary to levitate much heavier objects. During first year they had started with levitating feathers. Now, they were to be levitating bricks that were magically charmed to weigh heavier and gradually they were told that they would work up to levitating the bricks charmed to weigh as much as a large person.
Trying to charm a heavy brick wasn't something Harry wanted to do when he was supposed to be cautious with his magic. Snape hadn't exactly said what could go wrong, but Harry didn't want to find out the hard way.
Harry stared at his brick for several moments, and then glanced over at Draco, checking on him. Draco had deserted his drawings that he'd been doing while the others took notes and was now watching the attempts at levitation with fascination. Harry broke out into a wide grin and turned to Hermione who was on the other side of him.
"Hey, Mione. Conjure a feather for me, would you?" he asked quickly.
She gave him a strange look but did as he asked.
"Thanks!" Harry barely got out before he snatched the feather and turned back to Draco.
"Hey, Draco," Harry said, getting the little boy's attention. "Would you like to give it a try?" Harry asked, waving the feather.
Draco's eyes lit up. "Can I?" he asked excitedly.
"Sure," Harry said grinning. "Get your wand out."
Hermione tapped him on the shoulder. "Harry," she hissed. "You're supposed to be doing the levitating, not him. He shouldn't be doing this."
"Draco deserves a chance to try, too," Harry said, "and Snape told me Draco was allowed to use his wand here." Harry turned back to Draco. For several minutes they worked just on being able to say the incantation correctly. Harry and Ron exchanged a grin when Harry had to emphasize the Win- gar-dium Levi- o-sa—not Levi-osa, causing Hermione to huff, but grin as well.
Once Draco had the words down, Harry stood behind Draco and held his wrist, showing him how to do the swish and flick motion minus the wand. Then, once Draco could do the proper motion on his own, Harry let him finally try to levitate the feather with his wand.
Harry watched him closely and recognized the fierce look of determination on Draco's face. He'd seen it many times on the sixteen-year-old Draco. After several attempts Draco got the feather to move, and with a couple more tries he could get it to levitate a couple inches off the table before it would drop.
"Oh, well done!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed, coming around and noticing Draco's levitation. "Four years old and doing a spell learned in first year. Excellent work!"
Draco beamed proudly. "Great job, Draco," Harry said, grinning just as proudly at Draco's accomplishment and giving the boy a big hug and a kiss on the forehead.
With all of the focus on Draco, Professor Flitwick never asked Harry to show him his own progress. Thankfully class was about over. Harry had gotten out of any wand work and they could go to lunch. In the afternoon it was double potions and then his meeting with Snape and Dumbledore, so he didn't have to worry about casting any more spells before he knew what exactly was going on.
Harry ended up carrying Draco most of the way down to the Great Hall because, despite his excitement at being able to do the spell, he was getting tired again. It had been a rough night without enough sleep to start with and then it had been a busy, active, morning. Harry was beginning to feel the exhaustion again himself.
Harry walked over to the Slytherin table and carefully set the sleepy boy down beside Goyle and then plunked himself down on the bench.
"Potter, you look awful," Pansy declared as she set a full plate in front of Draco.
Harry sent her a half-hearted glare. "Thanks," he said sarcastically.
Both Pansy and Blaise were glancing back and forth between Harry and Draco in concern, but Harry ignored them and filled his plate. He didn't eat much and ended up just resting his head in his hand and watched Draco for a few minutes. When the little boy started to bob his head, falling asleep, Harry gave up. They'd been at lunch barely ten minutes, and neither of them had eaten, but this just wasn't working.
"That's it," Harry declared softly, straightening up.
Draco started at Harry's movement. "Harry, I'm tired," Draco mumbled sleepily.
"I know, angel. Hold on just a minute more and I'll let you take a nap," Harry said. He stood and quickly grabbed their bags before picking Draco up and cradling him against his chest. Within seconds Draco was asleep.
"We'll see you in potions. I'm just going to go find someplace quiet for a bit so Draco can sleep," Harry said. "Oh, and could you grab some fruit or something for Draco to eat when he wakes up?" he asked.
Blaise nodded and several pairs of eyes throughout the Great Hall watched in concern as Harry walked out carrying a sleeping Draco.
When Snape rounded the corner leading to the short corridor outside the potions classroom, he came upon a very unusual sight. And unusual sound. He stopped abruptly, observing the situation. Normally, as students waited for him to arrive, there was a ton of chatter. With the Slytherin/Gryffindor combination, particularly this group, they were often engaged in some type of argument or another. But now, the hallway was almost silent and the students were standing in line, waiting quietly.
They all looked to Snape when they heard him round the corner, then looked back to the duo sitting on the floor near the doorway.
Harry was leaning up against the wall with his head sideways, his cheek resting atop Draco's head. Draco was curled up comfortably in Harry's lap and Harry's arms were wrapped protectively around Draco, his hands interlocked behind Draco to keep him in place. They were both sound asleep.
Snape closed his eyes for a few moments and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't sure how he wanted to handle this situation. Opening his eyes again, he began to walk forward towards the classroom. "Leave them be," he commanded quietly as he unlocked the door, allowing the students to enter.
The students all quietly took their places and waited for further instruction. Snape waved his wand and tapped the board. "Notes are on the board. Start copying them and when you're finished you may begin brewing the potion," Snape commanded, and students began shuffling for parchment, quills, and ink.
"Mr. Weasley, come with me," Snape commanded, as he stalked back up to the door and out of the classroom. An ashen faced Ron followed. Ron knew why he was likely being called out of the room, but it didn't make him any more comfortable talking to the man.
Once in the hallway, Snape cast a silencing bubble around them, which didn't ease Ron's fears at having to talk to the man. Hermione had done most of the talking in his office the day before and that had been fine with Ron.
"Mr. Weasley, can you enlighten me as to why those two are extra tired today?" Snape asked, gesturing to where Harry and Draco were still asleep on the floor.
Ron swallowed hard. "Yes, sir."
"Well then, enlighten me," Snape sneered impatiently.
Taking a deep breath, Ron explained about the nightmares the night before. With Snape asking specific questions, Ron ended up telling him all of it that he could remember. That included the details of both nightmares, their discussion with Draco, what Harry had told the little boy, and what Harry had told Ron about Voldemort cutting into his nightmares.
Ron described how both had been screaming, but while Draco had woken quickly, it had taken them several minutes to wake Harry. When asked, Ron admitted that he had no idea how long it had taken Harry to fall asleep after each incident, but that Harry had been able to ease Draco's fears and the boy had fallen asleep again fairly quickly each time. Eventually, Snape seemed to be satisfied that he knew everything.
"Attempt to wake Potter without waking Draco," Snape told Ron, dropping the silencing bubble. Ron raised his eyebrows but moved to do as he was told.
"Harry," Ron called softly near Harry's ear. "Wake up, Harry." Ron tapped his friend on his cheek, trying to get his attention and wake him up.
Harry blinked blearily and slowly lifted his head. He looked at Ron, and then noticed Snape. Glancing around the corridor he realized that class must have already started and his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, sir," Harry said quietly.
"Mr. Weasley, you may return to class," Snape said dismissively. Ron shot Harry a sympathetic glance and went back into the classroom.
"Mr. Potter, this afternoon we will be discussing when to begin your Occlumency lessons again," Snape said decisively, in a tone that brooked no argument.
"Thank you, sir," Harry said, surprising Snape. Harry hung his head. "I wanted to talk to you about that as well. I just can't afford not to learn it. I've already failed once and I have even more reason to learn it now," Harry said quietly, stroking Draco's hair in a tender gesture.
Harry felt at a distinct disadvantage sitting on the floor with Snape towering over him, but he looked up anyways. "I apologize for going into your pensieve before. I will not invade your privacy again. It was horribly wrong of me and I have no real excuse. I can only apologize and say that I haven't said anything to anyone."
Harry paused and Snape remained silent, staring down at him contemplatively, eyes narrowed. "I trust you, sir, and whether you believe me or not, I respect you. Unfortunately, it took a lot of soul searching and some growing up the last few months for me to figure that out and I paid a huge price for not trusting and believing in you last year." Harry's arms visibly tightened around Draco. "I won't make the same mistake again. If you're willing to teach me, then I'll do my best to learn it. I can't afford not to," Harry repeated softly.
Snape was quiet for several moments. "Very well, Potter. For now, it is time you went to class. You may copy the notes from Ms. Granger on your own time."
"Yes, sir," Harry answered quietly. As Snape watched, Harry shifted Draco and shrugged out of his robes. Throwing their bags and his robes over one shoulder, he cautiously rose with Draco still asleep in his arms.
He paused inside the door and realized that Hermione and Ron were working together and Pansy was working with Millicent, but Blaise was at a back table by himself and was waving him over. Harry threw his robes out on the floor against the wall behind them and Blaise got the idea. Blaise spread them out and cast a Cushioning charm on them before Harry laid Draco down, then folded the robes around the sleeping boy.
Finally sitting down at the desk, Harry realized that the room was unusually quiet as everyone was watching him. Harry just shrugged off the attention and began following Blaise's whispered instructions for their potion.
It was a completely different class than it had been two days before. The sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins had a new working relationship, if not new friendships. They were getting along for the sake of their two leaders, Harry and Draco.
Admittedly, it wouldn't have been the same if Harry had been the one de-aged, but with Harry so adamantly speaking on Draco's behalf and his gentle care of the little Slytherin, he bridged the gap between the two sixth year houses.
So now, in a classroom which was normally filled with taunts, insults, and sabotaged cauldrons, the students were quiet in deference to the sleeping child. Students were working diligently so that hopefully no accidents would occur.
With eyebrows raised in surprise, Snape walked the classroom and realized that the potions were coming out correctly. Snape had thought that the unusual start to class would be a huge disruption. Rather the opposite appeared to be the case. Harry himself was diligently working with Blaise rather than simply allowing Blaise to do all of the work.
While they worked, Harry quietly told Blaise basically what had happened the night before. He didn't tell Blaise about having Voldemort show up in his mind and he didn't explain how he'd never gone back to sleep after his own nightmares, but he did tell him that he'd had trouble getting back to sleep after Draco's nightmare. Blaise looked worried, but just commented that their night shouldn't be that surprising considering all the revelations the day before.
With forty-five minutes left in class, Draco finally woke up. Harry handed over the stirring to Blaise and gathered up the little boy, sitting back down on the stool with Draco on his lap.
"Feel better after your nap?" Harry asked smiling gently.
Draco nodded and gave Harry a sweet smile. Blaise handed the stirring spoon back over to Harry and Draco watched in fascination as Harry stirred the aqua colored potion. Blaise rummaged in his bag, popped back up holding an apple and offered it to Draco with a grin.
"Thank you," Draco said with a shy smile, taking the apple from Blaise.
"I'm sure you're hungry since you fell asleep during lunch," Harry said. "Eat your apple for now and I'll get you more to eat after class."
Harry moved an extra stool over to the end of the table and let Draco sit there. Draco happily crunched on his apple and watched quietly while Harry and Blaise finished their potion.
Shortly before he dismissed class, Snape came by their table and informed Harry that he was to wait after class and they would walk to Dumbledore's office together. With Harry's protest that he needed to get Draco some food first, Snape simply said that he was sure Dumbledore would take care of that.
Chapter 10: Shifting Roles
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 10: Shifting Roles
A short time later, Draco and Harry were hungrily munching on sandwiches and crisps in Dumbledore's office. While they ate, Snape drew Dumbledore aside and, from the snippets of conversation that Harry could hear, Snape was informing Dumbledore of what had happened the night before. Harry realized that must have been why Ron was in the hallway during Potions earlier.
As Dumbledore and Snape took their seats again, Dumbledore cleared his throat, getting Harry's attention. "It would appear that Occlumency lessons are still required," Dumbledore said gravely.
Harry set the remains of his sandwich back on his plate. "Yes, sir. We all know that I made a huge mistake not taking Professor Snape's lessons seriously enough last year. It's not a mistake I intend to make twice. With Professor Snape's permission," Harry said with a nod to Snape, "I will be taking lessons again and I will be giving it my all to learn it this time."
Dumbledore looked at Harry in concern. "Harry, you do realize that what happened to Sirius was not your fault?" Dumbledore said, voicing it as a question.
Harry glared back at Dumbledore, his anger ignited, even though when he spoke his tone was even. "What I know is that if you want to get technical, it was Bellatrix's fault. She cast the curse that sent him through the veil, and she will pay for that," Harry said darkly.
Harry's expression grew hard as he continued to glare at the Headmaster. "Ultimately, however, the events of that night rest on my head. While many factors contributed to the events, including many different people being involved, I'm the reason that everything happened. It all comes down to me and Voldemort. I know it, you know it and he knows it."
Harry took a deep breath, trying to keep his equilibrium. "Everyone told me how important it was for me to learn Occlumency. I allowed my resentments and personal grudges to interfere with something that I knew I needed to learn, even if I didn't understand fully why I needed to learn it. I acted the part of a resentful teenager, and so perhaps you were right to treat me like a child. I know your wish to give me a childhood," Harry snorted at that idea, but continued on. "But that time is over. I don't like it, but at this point I accept the responsibility that's mine to bear."
Harry's gaze didn't waver as he looked to the two men staring at him intently, even as a little boy climbed into his lap. Harry just hugged the little boy and continued. "It is my responsibility but I also recognize that I need your help. I need to learn Occlumency, if for no other reason than I'm tired of being tortured on a regular basis. Voldemort has been quite enjoying taunting me over the last few months. I know for a fact that his activities have been relatively quiet, but he's had a wonderful time showing me past events." Harry closed his eyes and rested his head atop Draco's.
"How can you tell that his activities have been quiet?" Dumbledore asked gravely.
"Ironically, I can tell now when he's planting information in my head and when I'm the one slipping past into his mind. Don't ask me how, because I'm really not sure. It's just happened so often that I can feel the difference. I'm also fairly certain that he doesn't often recognize when I'm there. I've witnessed several Death Eater meetings and I know that he's deliberately staying low for the time being, now that the wizarding community knows he's back. He's hoping to lull everyone into thinking that it's not really true while he works on plans that will announce his return with a bang. Snape's already heard any of the plans I've heard, so I'm sure you're already working to counter them," Harry said wearily.
"Exactly how much have you witnessed?" Snape asked harshly.
Harry slowly lifted his head to gaze at Snape. "I've witnessed enough," Harry said bluntly, causing Snape to wince slightly. "Honestly, as much as I'd like to learn Occlumency so I could block the bastard out of my head, I'm not sure it's entirely wise at this point."
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked questioningly. "Is there something that I have not been informed of?"
Ignoring Dumbledore, Snape continued to stare intently at Harry, their gazes locked. Harry felt like he was about to step off into completely unknown territory, and once again he was going to be exposing himself, but this was extremely important. He'd seen the Death Eater meetings and he knew that Voldemort seriously doubted Snape's loyalties. A lot of people would have been shocked if they knew his changing feelings about Snape, including Snape himself, but Harry couldn't let this go without saying something.
"I need you, sir," Harry said softly. His gaze flicked to the boy in his lap, back up to Snape's onyx eyes. "More importantly, Draco needs you."
At those words, Snape dropped his head into his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "You don't need me, Potter," Snape muttered. Harry swallowed hard. For Snape to act this way, he obviously knew that his life was very much on the line at the moment. The small sign of what Snape would see as weakness simply hardened Harry's resolve to try to talk to Snape.
Harry reassured Draco quietly before getting up, setting the boy in his chair. Then he went to kneel before his professor. It made him feel vulnerable, but at the same time it helped him feel a little more connected to Snape. "Professor?" Harry spoke quietly. Snape moved his hands and looked down at Harry.
"I've been a right mean bastard to you, Potter," Snape said, although without his usual venom.
Harry gave him a small smile. "That's an understatement," he said, causing Snape's lips to twitch.
"Professor, bastard or not, you've been one of the very few constants in my life. Most people tend to put me up on a pedestal, expecting me to be perfect. You've made damn sure that I've remained grounded over the years. Admittedly, I don't exactly enjoy how you've gone about it, but you do realize that I'm human and I don't think many people realize that."
Harry looked down at the ground. "This is really hard for me to say. Sirius, well, he was Sirius. He did his best to treat me like a father would, loving me and protecting me, but he couldn't always be around." Harry paused and attempted to swallow the painful lump that had lodged in his throat. "I figured out that even though you've been far from loving, you've always been there for me the last five years."
Snape snorted, causing Harry to look up again and smirk at him. "Professor, I may not agree with your methods, but I've needed you there in my life. You've saved my life on numerous occasions and whether you've wanted to or not, you've done your best to protect me. I do appreciate all that you've done."
Harry turned to gaze unseeingly out the window. "I also respect all that you've done for the Order. I'm sure you'll tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing that I'm one of the few that truly understand the hell you've been putting yourself through for the side of the Light. I've seen it," Harry said quietly in a pained voice. "I've seen and heard what you've been through."
Harry shook his head as if clearing it of the visions he didn't want to see again. "Sir, whether you believe me or not that I have personal reasons for not wanting to see you killed, there's also the fact that I need you to teach me and to train me. I don't want to see you dead and we both know that he'll likely kill you soon if you continue to go back."
"Sev'rus," a tiny, shaky voice broke in. "I don't want you to die neither." Draco hesitated briefly but then threw his arms around his godfather and hugged him tightly.
Snape looked a little unsure of what to do with this little bundle, but then put his arms around him and hugged the little child back.
"Sir, it's not my decision, but I don't think you should go back. To hell with anything I've said. He's the reason you shouldn't," Harry said, gesturing to Draco.
"Harry," Dumbledore spoke up gently. "Perhaps you and Draco can return after dinner so we can discuss your powers."
Harry nodded and stood up to gather his and Draco's bags. When Draco released his godfather, Harry grabbed his hand and they quietly left Dumbledore's office.
In the time before dinner, Harry had Draco show him the dragon statue and they wandered around, slowly working their way down towards the Great Hall. They had already eaten not really that long before, but both of them ate again as they had dinner with the Gryffindors, before making their way back up to Dumbledore's office.
Harry entered warily, unsure of his reception from Snape. Snape just nodded and told them to sit.
"Harry, under the circumstances, it has been deemed prudent for Snape not to return to his other duties. Unfortunately, as you seem to already be aware, this means that there will be more responsibility on your shoulders," Dumbledore said gravely.
Harry nodded. "I realize this, sir, and I accept it."
"Then I'm sure that you are also aware that it would be best if you were able to reach us quickly at night when your visions generally occur," Dumbledore continued.
Harry nodded warily, narrowing his eyes at the headmaster whose eyes were twinkling again.
Dumbledore smiled benignly. "In light of these circumstances and other recent events, we think it best if you and Draco are moved to Professor Snape's quarters."
Harry's eyes widened incredulously and his head whipped to stare at Snape.
"Are you okay with this?" he asked.
Snape nodded. "Particularly after the events of last night, I don't believe anyone will question you and Draco being moved. Certainly your dorm mates' sleep will be interrupted less."
Harry winced. "Yes, we did kind of keep everyone awake."
"Have you told anyone about how long Draco will remain this age?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry shook his head. "No, I wasn't sure if it was okay to say anything yet."
"At this point, that will lend credence to you moving to my quarters," Snape pointed out. "This will allow me to help with Draco as needed and I will be readily available to help deal with your visions of the Dark Lord. Also, after Draco goes to sleep each night, I can work with you regarding your Occlumency. I think it is possible for me to teach you how to block your mind so that Voldemort cannot get in and plant information, while still allowing you to cross the link."
Harry sighed and nodded, resigned to the situation. Everything they were saying made sense. "Yes, sir. When will we be moved?"
"Your things will be moved tomorrow while you are out shopping," Dumbledore said, smiling at Harry. "Once you return, Professor Snape can show you to your new room. Now, I believe we need to discuss your powers."
Snape sneered. "I assume since I've heard no reports of accidents that you were able to avoid using magic today?"
Harry grinned. "The only problem was Charms class and I redirected everyone's attention off of me and onto Draco instead," he said slyly.
Snape raised an eyebrow in question and Dumbledore looked at Harry curiously.
"Could you conjure me a feather, sir?" Harry asked Dumbledore, who willingly complied and passed the feather to Harry.
Harry turned to Draco and grinned. "Care to show them what you learned today?" he asked.
Draco had been sitting quietly. His eyes lit up when he understood what Harry was asking and he nodded eagerly, getting his wand out. Harry set the feather on the small side table and Draco stood to face it, his face becoming determined.
" Wingardium Leviosa!" Draco intoned. The feather rose a few inches off the table before dropping again.
Harry beamed. "That's the best you've done! Great job!" he exclaimed, giving Draco a hug.
Draco turned to look at his godfather and Dumbledore, smiling proudly.
"I'm quite impressed," Snape said, his expression actually showing that he was impressed for once.
"Excellent indeed," Dumbledore agreed, smiling at both boys proudly. "Quite impressive that you were able to learn this, Draco, and also impressive that you were able to teach it to a four-year-old, Harry."
"I didn't do anything," Harry said, grinning proudly at Draco. "Draco did all the work."
But Snape was shaking his head. "I know for a fact that Draco did not learn that spell until he was much older and the boy had tutors. You've obviously done something different to be able to teach this spell to Draco."
Harry winked at Draco. "We just make a good team."
"It would appear so," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling merrily. "Now, Harry, we need to discuss your magic. Professor Snape has already informed me of the interesting magic you performed yesterday."
Harry's expression turned a bit sheepish. "I'm not sure what happened, sir. I've never performed magic like that. It just got out of control."
Snape's eyes narrowed. "How did you know the spells that repaired everything and healed everyone at once?"
Harry shrugged. "I have no idea. I knew what had happened and I just did what was necessary to repair the damage. I'm not sure I even said any spells."
"Harry, levitate Draco's feather for us," Dumbledore directed.
Harry got out his wand and with a swish and flick he said the incantation. Immediately the feather shot to the ceiling and Harry's and Draco's eyebrows shot to their hairlines. However, neither Snape nor Dumbledore seemed particularly surprised with Harry's results.
Dumbledore did some spells that seemed to tell Dumbledore more about Harry's magical potential. Harry wasn't sure exactly what it all meant but Dumbledore seemed inordinately pleased with the results. What caught Harry's interest more so was Snape's reaction.
"Potter, it would seem that I have made the right decision. My time will be much better spent training you, rather than wasting my time pandering to the Dark Lord for information that you can gather anyway," Snape said.
It wasn't just Snape's words that bemused Harry. It was the expression on Snape's face—it was almost . . . satisfied, excited.
"Professor?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side, trying to figure things out.
Dumbledore spoke gently, but with a wide smile. "It would seem that your professor has finally felt some hope that this war will end favorably."
Harry turned wide green eyes between the two of them. "Do you really believe that I have a chance to defeat him?"
Snape's expression turned calculating for a moment. "Once you have learned to control your magic, and with additional training, the Dark Lord will not have a chance," he said with a smirk.
"I'm still not sure I understand why I seem to have more power now," Harry said. "Or why I could do what I did yesterday."
"Harry, while you were growing up, you had periodic bursts of uncontrolled magic, correct?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry shrugged. "Yes, but I didn't know that's what they were at the time. They usually happened when I was scared or angry. Like when I blew up my Aunt Marge."
Dumbledore was nodding. "Your magic, in particular, seems to work closely with your emotions, even more so than other wizards and witches. Your emotions have been running extremely close to the surface the last few days and I daresay that your magic breached the normal set of rules."
Harry barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. Of course Harry's magic didn't go by any normal set of rules—he was Harry Potter and he was certainly never normal.
Dumbledore continued. "Generally magic can be affected by emotions to some extent, but it would appear that, at the moment at least, your magic has decided to be ruled by your emotions."
Harry spluttered. "But I can't have my magic doing that all the time. Someone will get hurt," he protested.
"Exactly, Potter," Snape glared at him. "This is why you need to get your magic back to where you can control it properly. Your anger, and seemingly overwhelming need to protect Draco, has pushed it out of control. You have far too much power at your disposal and you will need to retrain your magic and learn to use it far more effectively than you have in the past."
"Harry, I've said before that one of your greatest strengths is your caring and your ability to feel pain," Dumbledore said calmly. "Yesterday's demonstration of magic simply proved that your ability to care manifests itself in powerful ways. Now you simply need to learn to control it."
So, for the next couple of hours, Snape and Dumbledore walked Harry through the process of being able to connect to his magical core like Snape had done with Harry in the infirmary. Harry learned the very basics of how to cast spells that he already knew with a sense of control. Over time Harry would have to learn how to control how much power he put into a spell.
By the time Harry left Dumbledore's office that evening, he wasn't exactly feeling confident, but he felt he at least had somewhat of a handle on his magic. He had a lot of training to do until he had more control, though. He just had to figure out how to keep a handle on his emotions. Much easier said than done.
And right now Harry had to inform his friends that he'd be moving down to the dungeons the next day.
"What?!" Ron shouted.
Harry glared. "Don't you dare wake him up," he snapped.
Harry was sitting in the Common Room with a sleeping Draco on his lap. He'd just finished telling his friends that he'd be moving down to the dungeons the next day.
Hermione was wringing her hands nervously. "This does seem a little extreme, Harry," she said uncertainly.
Harry snorted. "Yeah, and it's not a little extreme for Draco and I to be waking everyone in the dorm with nightmares every night," he said sarcastically.
"We can handle that," Ron glared. "It doesn't mean that you have to go move in with the greasy git."
Harry shook his head and sighed. "Ron, he's Draco's godfather. Snape's not so bad and he's trying to help. Besides, our dorm is crowded with the extra person." Harry held a hand up to hold off Ron's next outburst. "And, no, I'm not going to give up caring for Draco just because Dumbledore wants us to move down to the dungeons with Snape, so don't even suggest it."
Ron snapped his mouth shut and flopped back onto the couch, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Harry, are you sure that this is wise? Snape doesn't exactly treat you fairly," Hermione said anxiously.
Harry snorted again. "Whatever gave you that idea?" he asked sarcastically.
That seemed to snap Hermione out of her nervousness and she glared at him. "Harry James Potter, I think you've been spending too much time with Slytherins already," she snapped.
Harry sighed. "Look, everything's already decided. Dumbledore's already arranged everything and this is just how it's going to be, whether everyone likes it or not. I'm not going to abandon a four-year-old child because Snape's treated me like shit for the last five years, or because Draco himself has been a right obnoxious prat to us for the last five years. I wasn't asking for your guys' permission to do this. I've already agreed to it."
Ron and Hermione sat as if frozen, staring at Harry.
"Draco's going to be this age for the next four months," Harry said quietly. "It's still temporary, but it's not going to be just a few days. It's not fair to my dorm mates for Draco and me to be imposing on them. It's also not fair that Draco should be separated from his godfather for so long under these circumstances. But even if Snape had the time and the will to care for a four-year-old, Draco isn't that comfortable and would rather stay with me. This is the best compromise for everyone."
Harry ran a hand through Draco's hair and smoothed it back from the little boy's forehead.
"It's really that important to you, Harry?" Hermione asked, watching how gently Harry treated Draco.
Harry's eyes didn't leave the little boy and he simply nodded.
Ron let out his breath explosively. "I don't understand you, Harry!" he exclaimed. He did sound more confused than angry now and Harry glanced up at him, giving Ron a wry smile.
"I'm not sure anyone completely understands me, but that's all right," Harry said. "I would simply prefer not to lose my friends. All I really need you to understand is that this is important to me."
"We're just worried about you," Hermione said softly.
"I appreciate that. I really do, but your worry isn't necessary here. I know what I'm doing," Harry said quietly.
"Fine," Ron said mournfully. "But I still think you're crazy to be moving in with Snape, though."
"We're behind you," Hermione said with a gentle smile.
Harry grinned. "That's all I'm asking."
September 4
Well, Draco, it's been another interesting day. A very long day. So much has happened and I don't even know where to begin. I suppose I should start by telling you that for once you had a great time in Care of Magical Creatures this morning. I'm sure that's quite shocking for you to remember! Ha! You were adorable though as you hopped around and . . .
I was really proud of you today. You worked so hard learning the levitation charm . . .
I'm finding it kind of bittersweet, but you should be happy, I guess, that this is your last night in Gryffindor tower. The two of us are moving down to the dungeons tomorrow . . .
I'm totally exhausted, but as I sit here writing, I keep looking over at you. You seem to like me calling you angel and looking at you now, I have to say you really do look like a little angel . . .
Good night, angel.
The next morning, both Harry and Draco woke feeling much more rested. Voldemort had left Harry alone and Draco had only one nightmare, which had occurred early in the night. With comfort and assurances from Harry, Draco had quickly gone back to sleep. Harry, as well, had soon fallen asleep afterwards.
Harry woke first and lay there quietly for a bit, thinking about the fact that this could be his last morning in the dorms. At least for a long time. There were no guarantees that Voldemort would be gone anytime soon.
Of course, everyone else thought he was moving just because of Draco and thought Harry would be back after the Christmas holidays.
Harry knew he should probably explain to Ron and Hermione the other reason he was moving to Snape's quarters, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. They didn't know exactly how far that Voldemort had been infiltrating his mind and he didn't want to worry them any more than they already were.
Harry sighed and looked at Draco. At least the move to the dungeons should be good for Draco. It would be a good opportunity to get to know his godfather better. It'd be good for Snape, too, for that matter.
As Harry watched, Draco's eyes began to flutter and he blinked blearily at Harry.
"Good morning, angel," Harry said, smiling warmly.
Draco returned with a sweet smile. "Good morning."
"We're going shopping this morning. We should get up so we can get ready," Harry said.
Before he'd even finished talking, Draco was pushing back the blankets and scrambling out of bed, causing Harry to laugh at the boy's enthusiasm. Truthfully, Harry was looking forward to the shopping trip, too. They went to shower and begin getting ready for the day.
Searching through Draco's clothes, Harry realized that Draco didn't have much that would be suitable to wear into Muggle London. Harry had the strong suspicion that Dumbledore had bought some new colorful robes and pyjamas for Draco, but otherwise had simply shrunk down a few of Draco's other clothes.
Harry finally selected a pair of soft gray trousers and a white silk button down shirt for Draco to wear, swearing to himself that he'd be buying Draco some more appropriate clothing for a four-year-old.
Harry himself put on the clothes that Blaise had selected for him two nights before. He shimmied into the black leather trousers and put on the green silk shirt, finishing up by putting on the black boots.
Harry walked over to the mirror, checking to make sure he looked okay.
"Trust me, you look hot," Seamus spoke up.
Harry grinned, glancing over and realizing Seamus was waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"You're just saying that because you want my body," Harry said, laughing at Seamus' attitude.
"But of course," Seamus said, which caused the other boys in the dorm to laugh as well. Seamus was well known for his flirtatious tendencies.
Harry made sure that he had his vault key in his bag, along with his money pouch, and him and Draco made their way out of the dorm.
Harry's appearance caused a stir among the few people that were in the common room. Hermione and Ginny were waiting for Ron and Dean as usual and both girls eyed Harry appreciatively.
"You look great, Harry," Hermione said.
"Yeah, you have a hot date today or something?" Ginny asked with a teasing grin.
Harry grinned. "Or something," he said wryly. "Blaise and I are taking Draco shopping today. Snape's taking us to Diagon Alley, but we're supposed to be going into Muggle London as well," Harry explained.
"Sounds like fun," Ginny said.
"I hope so. It should be interesting if nothing else," Harry said with a shrug.
Harry slipped out the portrait hole with Draco, saying good morning to Crabbe and Goyle before starting down the corridor.
"Wait!" Hermione called.
Harry stopped and turned, seeing that the other Gryffindor boys had finally made it downstairs and were now hurrying to catch up with Harry, along with Hermione and Ginny. Harry raised a brow in question.
"If you think we're missing everybody's reaction, you're crazy," Seamus said with a grin.
Harry just rolled his eyes and turned to start walking again.
A short time later, as Harry entered the Great Hall, he realized that maybe his friends had had a point. The gobsmacked expressions on half the people in the Great Hall were actually pretty entertaining.
Harry caught Blaise's eye and smirked. He gave a bow in recognition of everyone's attention, much like he had in the Slytherin and Gryffindor common rooms, then made his way to the Slytherin table amidst cat calls and wolf whistles. He felt a little silly, but half the school had already seen him dressed like this and he'd rather have this teasing attention than have everyone scared of him because of the unusual magic he'd done.
"Even Draco's never made that kind of entrance," Blaise said, smirking at Harry.
Harry smirked back. "Sure he has. People were just less vocal about their appreciation. Besides, everyone is used to Draco looking spectacular. I am wearing his clothes after all," Harry said wryly.
"Yes, but you have the looks to pull it off like Draco," Pansy said as she studied Harry. "Although, I think where Draco has that elegant grace, you have more of a . . . animal grace."
Harry gave her a questioning look, like she'd gone crazy.
"No, she's right, Harry," Blaise said. "Draco's movements are all elegant and refined. You have more of a wild grace about you. You move more like a . . . black panther."
"Oooh, that's perfect!" Pansy squealed. "Especially with his coloring and that silky black hair."
"Maybe it's just the underlying raw power that he radiates," Blaise suggested.
Pansy and Blaise were both nodding at Harry thoughtfully. Harry just rolled his eyes at them. "I can't believe you two can say all that with a straight face," he said wryly.
"Harry," Draco said quietly. "Everyone is staring again."
"It's alright, angel," Harry said, smiling reassuringly. "They're just not used to seeing me in nice clothes."
"No, they're trying to figure out how come they've never realized that you were hiding that body under your robes and your old clothes," Blaise smirked.
Harry rolled his eyes again. "That's definitely not true. Don't listen to him, Draco. They just think your clothes look nice on me. You've got good taste in clothes," Harry said, tapping Draco on the nose, causing the boy to giggle. "Finish your breakfast, and then we can go and get you some more clothes that will actually fit you and be more appropriate for a boy your age."
A/N: Yes, the shopping trip is finally coming up in the next chapter! I know many of you are waiting for it, so I'll have it up in just a couple days for you.
To address a couple past questions, and new questions, regarding Snape and Harry—everything is not suddenly wonderful between the two with this chapter. I've deliberately written Snape's behavior to be rather ambiguous. His conflicting behavior and attitudes will come up more over the next few chapters and it should all make more sense by the time we get to chapter fifteen. Hopefully, anyway!
Thank you to all who are reading this and thank you again for all the wonderful reviews!
Vorabiza
Chapter 11: Shopping
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 11: Shopping
"Where in the world are we going, Blaise?" Harry asked irritably. "Is there a reason you're dragging us into Muggle London right now? We just barely got out of Gringott's."
Blaise flashed a grin over his shoulder as he hurried through the crowds. "Just hurry up or we'll be late," he called.
"Late for what?" Harry hollered, but didn't get an answer.
Harry looked to Snape for an answer, but Snape just sneered at him and Harry didn't bother even asking. So, Harry looked down at Draco, who was doing his best to keep up. Harry swung him up into his arms, sitting Draco on his hip.
"Do you know where we're going, angel?" Harry whinged, not really expecting an answer from him either. Draco giggled, though, even as he shook his head, making it worth asking the question.
Harry resigned himself to following blindly and began pointing things out to Draco as they hurried through Diagon Alley, into the Leaky Cauldron and out the other side into Muggle London.
Harry didn't know where Blaise was rushing them, but he was enjoying Draco's reactions to everything.
"Wow!" Draco breathed. "What are those things?" he asked. "I bet they could go as fast as brooms."
Harry grinned. "They're called cars, Draco. It's how Muggles tend to get around faster. And you're right, they can go even faster than brooms sometimes," he whispered conspiratorially.
He got the reaction he wanted when Draco's eyes grew even rounder, watching in fascination the cars travelling the streets.
"We're here!" Blaise exclaimed triumphantly several blocks later.
Harry looked up at the sign, before staring at Blaise incredulously. "You hurried us along to go to an optometrist's office?"
"Yep," Blaise said in satisfaction. "You are going to finally get rid of those glasses and get those context thingies."
"Contacts," Harry corrected automatically. "But I don't have an appointment," he said, bewildered by this turn of events. "And I'm supposed to be taking Draco shopping, not doing something for myself."
"You do have an appointment in about . . . two minutes from now," Blaise said smugly.
"How? How did you know where to go or that I'd need an appointment?" Harry asked, brow furrowed.
"Granger," Blaise admitted with a sheepish grin. "She seemed to know what to do and got the appointment set up for you."
Harry had been staring at him in amazement until now, and suddenly he burst out laughing. "You're just too much, Blaise!"
"This is long overdue," he declared haughtily, until he grinned, spoiling the false attitude. "Now come on!" he exclaimed, dragging Harry into the building.
It was an interesting couple of hours and Harry knew very well that the optometrist and his fellow workers thought they were an extremely strange group.
Harry soon found out at least partly why Snape hadn't argued with this appointment, even though it was for Harry. Harry was positive his eye exam took twice as long as it normally did with all the questions Snape posed the man. If he wasn't questioning the man's skills, knowledge, or equipment, then he was watching each step of the exam with an eagle eye.
Harry thought it was mostly curiosity on Snape's part regarding the Muggle technology, but there were a few questions that caused Harry to wonder if Snape was actually concerned about him.
Blaise and Draco had also gone into the exam room with Harry because, of course, Snape wasn't going to let them stay out in the waiting room by themselves, and Draco wasn't particularly fond of the idea of letting Harry out of his sight anyway. So, both boys sat off to the side watching the proceedings with fascination.
"Merlin, Harry! How could you see anything before?" Blaise exclaimed when the optometrist demonstrated what Harry's vision was really like.
"I'm just used to compensating for it, I guess," Harry said defensively.
"He really should have been in here for an exam many years ago," the optometrist patiently explained. The man had been frustrated with the group at first, but had soon resigned himself and, if truth had been known, had actually become quite fond of the odd group that had invaded his office.
He went on to explain further. "The eyes can be quite tricky and oftentimes vision changes as a child grows. In Harry's case here, his vision has deteriorated some since these glasses were made for him and his prescription has changed quite a bit."
"Prescription?" Snape asked, arms crossed imposingly.
"Yes, prescription," the optometrist explained, not intimidated by Snape, considering the man's obvious concern for the three boys in his care. He went on to explain what he meant by prescription, putting it in plain words for them all to understand. He demonstrated by adjusting his equipment and actually showing them what Harry's vision was like with his old glasses, then adjusting again to show what it would be like with his new prescription.
Blaise snorted. "I told you this was long overdue."
"Yeah, and you knew why I never got here before," Harry snapped in irritation, more upset with the Dursleys than Blaise. "Besides, it's not like it was that bad. It's not like I couldn't see anything."
Blaise looked at him sadly and the optometrist looked at them both curiously before responding. "Your vision with the old glasses was not outrageously bad, but you will find that things will be much sharper and more in focus than they were before."
They finally moved on and Snape stood back, observing impassively as Blaise and Draco had a blast helping Harry select some new frames for a backup pair of glasses and giving Harry a hard time as he learned to put his new contacts in and take them out.
After demonstrating, the assistant had left Harry to practice and once Harry got it, he looked in the mirror before grinning at the others proudly. "So, how do I look?"
"I think you look fabulous without those old glasses," Blaise declared with a winning smile.
"Me, too," Draco piped up, grinning widely.
They were in a quiet room by themselves while Harry was learning to deal with his contacts and Snape sneered at them. "More importantly, I think these contacts will be better in a battle situation."
Harry's face fell in resigned acceptance that Snape was right. He quietly turned back and began packing everything up. No wonder Snape had allowed this visit today.
"Sev'rus, why'd you have to say that?" Draco's little voice demanded. "He was happy and you just made him sad again."
Harry answered before Snape could respond. "No, Draco," Harry said quietly. "Your godfather is right. Come on, let's get out of here." He didn't notice the glares that both Draco and Blaise were shooting at Snape for bringing Harry down again. Even if he'd noticed, Harry wouldn't have been sure what to make of Snape's expression.
As Harry paid his bill, he had the receptionist call a taxi for them and not long after, they were at the clothing store that Blaise said Draco had frequented in Muggle London.
Harry understood better when Blaise finally let on that a couple of witches ran the Muggle establishment. Harry stood back, waiting with Draco while Blaise went to talk to them.
Soon enough, Harry and Draco both found themselves in a back room being measured and trying on tons of clothes.
Harry was quickly overwhelmed and his wide eyes showed it. It didn't take him long to give up on any ideas of embarrassment, though, and just let it all happen—because it was happening whether he said anything or not. Blaise bustled about as much as the two assistants that had been assigned to help them, ordering Harry to try this or try on that, but not those two together and so on and so on.
Draco, on the other hand, was going through the same thing, but he seemed entirely in his element—no big surprise there. Harry managed to get through to the assistants that he wanted Draco to have some actual little boy play clothes. Blaise didn't look like he quite understood, but the ladies did, and they went bustling back out to gather more clothing.
"What do you mean, 'play clothes'?" Blaise asked in puzzlement. "He can play in these clothes," he said, pointing to the pile of what Harry considered to be almost formal wear.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Draco needs some jeans and rough n' tumble clothes," he tried to explain. "Clothes that it's not going to matter what the hell happens to them. Creased trousers and silk shirts are not what I consider to be play clothes. Comfortable overalls and non-wrinklable shirts would be play clothes."
"Non-wrinklable?" Blaise asked, eyebrows raised. "That's not even a word, let alone a type of clothing, Harry." However, he was grinning at Harry, obviously understanding now.
"Well, it's a word in my vocabulary, even it it's not in Draco's realm," Harry retorted, grinning back at Blaise.
Harry and Draco ended up with some dressy wear like creased trousers and silk shirts, but they also ended up with plenty of jeans, a variety of colorful t-shirts and jumpers and hooded sweatshirts.
Blaise somehow managed to combine their preferences and Harry got things like silk pyjamas while Draco got soft wool sleepers with feet, which Draco found astonishing because they'd keep his feet warm and he wouldn't even have to wear slippers. Draco's wardrobe choices were being toned down, while Harry's were being spruced up.
Somewhere along the line, leather trousers were added to their growing pile of items they were buying. Dragon hide boots sat alongside regular trainers.
Harry wasn't sure where they'd come from, but wizard's robes appeared and they selected several of those, too. They even picked out formal robes despite the fact that Harry couldn't figure out why they'd need them.
Snape stood leaning against the far wall, simply observing the whole process. He didn't interject comments of any kind, whether positive or negative. He didn't even comment when Draco picked out a red and gold jumper that would match one of Harry's selections. There weren't any comments forthcoming when Harry selected one with green and silver either.
Draco ended up taking a short nap as Blaise and Harry argued over exactly what to keep and not to keep, but eventually everything was selected, paid for, and bags and boxes shrunk down to fit into one bag. Harry was once again dressed in the original clothing that he'd arrived in, but Draco was dressed in blue jeans, t-shirt and a green hooded sweatshirt with white trainers on his little feet.
Harry handed Blaise the bag as they finally left the store and picked up the tired little boy. "Draco, did you know shopping for clothes was such exhausting work?" Harry asked with a tired smile.
Draco nodded fervently. "Oh, yes! But normally it's not this much fun!"
Harry laughed and hugged Draco to him. "I suppose it was kind of fun, too. But we're not doing that again anytime soon," Harry said mock sternly.
"You two have enough clothes to last you awhile, I'd say," Blaise declared.
Harry glared at him. "Well, it's certainly not because of me. I would have grabbed a few jeans and t-shirts, some socks and underwear and that probably would have been about it."
"Then it's a good thing I came along, isn't it?" Blaise said cheekily.
Harry shook his head and gave him a rueful smile. "Let's just go get something to eat. It's way past lunchtime. I never expected clothes shopping to take so long."
"Yeah, I'm starving," Draco declared.
"There's a McDonald's right over there," Harry said, pointing to the golden arches across the street and down a ways.
"Pray tell, what is a 'McDonalds'?" Snape sneered.
Harry grinned. "It's a fast food restaurant that sells food. Juicy hamburgers and greasy chips. I think my cousin Dudley got half his fat from that place alone. Once in a great while they even brought some back for me. It's really good!"
Blaise looked at him curiously as they automatically started walking towards the place. "You've never actually been there?" he asked.
"Um, well, no," Harry admitted quietly, having not realized until then that he'd let something else slip about his past. He was once again uncomfortably aware that Snape was eyeing him, a calculating gleam in his eyes, and Harry quickly averted his gaze back to Blaise.
"Well, then it's definitely decided that we're going to this McDonalds place to eat," Blaise said cheerfully. Harry could've hugged him for his understanding and letting the issue drop.
A short time later they were seated in a booth and the three boys were happily wolfing down burgers and greasy chips. Harry did his best to hide his amusement as he watched Snape eyeing his food with distaste. Harry went back to the counter and when he came back, he set a salad with recognizable food items in front of Snape without a word. Harry tried unsuccessfully to tone down his grin when Snape actually shot him a grateful look.
In contrast to Snape, Draco was ecstatic over his Happy Meal. Starving, he made short work of his burger and fries and happily slurped down his root beer, even as he marched the little toy that came with it all across the table.
"Harry, what is that?" Draco asked suddenly. "What are they doing?"
Harry looked where Draco was pointing to the play area right outside. "Well, it's a play area for kids to play on. You can climb up through those tunnel things and slide back down the slides," Harry tried to explain.
"Why would they do that?" Draco asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
Harry looked at him with a sad smile. "Because it's fun, angel. There used to be one kind of like that at the school I used to go to, but it was a lot smaller. Sometimes I got to play on it and the slides are especially fun."
Draco was still watching the kids outside curiously and Harry glanced at Snape. He wanted to take Draco outside and show him, but wasn't sure if Snape would allow it. He'd been nice enough overall today, for Snape, and Harry didn't really want to push his luck.
Snape gave a curt nod to his unspoken question.
"Thanks!" Harry said, a grin brightening his features again. Harry turned to Draco. "You want to go check it out?" Harry asked.
"Yeah!" Draco exclaimed.
Blaise followed them outside and the three of them stood there simply looking at the giant play structure. "So, what do I do?" Draco asked quietly.
Harry crouched down next to Draco and pointed. "You see that hole there?"
Draco nodded.
"You start there and climb all the way to the top. Then you can slide down," Harry explained, his hand pointing out the path Draco should take. Draco was still looking a little unsure.
"Just go with him," Blaise said.
"I'm too big," Harry protested.
Blaise rolled his eyes. "Just go!"
"Yeah, come with me, Harry," Draco pleaded, tugging on Harry's hand.
Harry grinned suddenly. "Fine." He let go of Draco's hand and began backing away towards the play structure. "I bet you can't catch me," Harry challenged, before turning and running towards the tunnel opening.
Draco tore off after him, giggling all the way. Harry crawled through the tunnels, Draco scrambling behind him, trying to catch up to him. They reached the top and Harry waited only a few seconds before Draco jumped on him. "I got you!" Draco shouted happily.
Harry tickled him, causing Draco to squeal, peals of laughter echoing through the series of tunnels.
"H-Harry, st-stop!" Draco gasped out through his giggles.
Laughing himself, Harry stopped and turned Draco to look out the bubble dome they were currently in. "Look, angel," Harry encouraged.
"Wow!" Draco breathed. Suddenly, Draco started waving and Harry looked out himself to see a grinning Blaise waving up to them. Harry saluted him and laughed.
"What do you think, Draco? Should we go back down and make Blaise come play, too?" Harry asked.
"Yeah!" Draco shouted enthusiastically.
Harry sat down at the top of the slide and motioned Draco over to sit in front of him. "Come on. You can slide down with me your first time."
The two of them went swooping down the slide—only to land on their backsides at the bottom.
"Ouch!" Harry said, rubbing his arse as he got up.
"It didn't hurt at all, Harry," Draco exclaimed.
"Not for you," Harry retorted. "I cushioned your landing."
Harry was grinning, though, looking at Draco's flushed cheeks and his blinding smile. "Let's go get Blaise so we can go back up again," Harry whispered conspiratorially.
Draco and Harry ran to tackle the unsuspecting Blaise and the tumbling trio ended up wrestling, chasing, tackling, climbing, sliding and especially laughing their way through the next hour.
Snape had come outside at some point to watch them, and eventually the trio collapsed in front of the bench where he sat. They were dirty, sweaty and disheveled—and all still grinning happily, if tiredly.
Snape raised an eyebrow at them, but didn't comment. Harry was thankful. He didn't want the man spoiling Draco's fun and suspected that was actually why Snape wasn't flinging scathing insults at him. Harry wondered if he'd be hearing about his foolish behavior later, though.
Out on the street again, they were waiting to flag down a taxi to take them back to the Leaky Cauldron and Diagon Alley when they spotted a toy store a couple of storefronts further down from them.
"No," Snape declared forcefully. "I had agreed to take you three to Diagon Alley to go shopping for necessary items for Draco today. I ended up agreeing to the appointment for Potter's eye exam. You shopped for your clothing here in Muggle London. I allowed the longer time spent there seeing as how you were able to buy your robes as well. Somehow I allowed you to drag me into . . . this establishment," he spat, glaring distastefully at the McDonalds behind them. "We will not be going into a toy store. The hour is growing late and we will be going back to Diagon Alley now."
All three boys hung their heads dejectedly, none of them arguing. Harry bent down and picked Draco up, hugging him and murmuring soothingly to him as the boy began to sniffle.
"We're ready then, sir," Blaise said quietly, eyes still downcast.
"Oh, for . . .!" Snape exclaimed.
Harry, Draco and Blaise tentatively looked up at the man as he began muttering under his breath.
"You have thirty minutes," Snape sneered. "Not one minute more and then we go straight back to Diagon Alley where you will follow quietly as I finish the necessary shopping. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir." They all nodded quickly in agreement. Harry and Blaise exchanged a glance before they quickly took off for the toy store. They came to an abrupt halt directly inside the door and stared incredulously at their surroundings. Then Harry set Draco down and grasped his hand tightly so he wouldn't lose him.
"Let's go!" Harry said with a grin.
Harry quickly gathered puzzles and tons of block sets, before moving on to the books and swiftly gathering a rather large selection. Blaise was fascinated with the wide array of cars and trucks and heaped a bunch into their quickly overflowing cart. Draco was ecstatic with his find of a stuffed dragon and held onto it tightly. Draco also came across a section with arts and crafts and Harry added a huge supply of paper, scissors, glue and whatever other materials struck his or Draco's fancy.
Twenty-eight minutes later, they were back outside, standing in front of Snape, loaded down with bags and bags of stuff. Draco would not be lacking for things to do over the next four months.
Snape rolled his eyes at their exuberance and pulled them into a side alley so he could shrink everything down to one bag. Now they only had to carry the bag of toys and the bag of clothes.
True to their word, the three boys followed meekly through Diagon Alley as they finished their shopping, visiting the Apothecary, the quill shop and a few other places. They completed their business quickly at each stop. The only time there was any hesitation was when they slowed almost automatically as they passed the Quidditch store. Snape shot them a glare and they quickly hurried their pace again.
Their odd group received many curious glances, but no one approached them. Harry came to realize Snape's death glare could actually come in handy sometimes.
Finally, they had a quick meal in the Leaky Cauldron before Flooing back to Hogwarts.
"Did you have a good time today, boys?" Dumbledore asked as they came tumbling out of his fireplace.
"Yeah," Harry murmured tiredly, totally exhausted by the day's activities. Draco was sound asleep in his arms and the only reason Harry hadn't actually fallen out of the fireplace was because Snape had gone through first and had caught him.
Blaise had nodded slightly, but didn't even bother trying to give a verbal response.
Dumbledore gave them a huge smile. "It would seem your trip was successful, Severus."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Are the rooms ready?" he asked, ignoring the headmaster's comments.
"Yes, yes, everything was moved today while you were gone," Dumbledore said easily.
Snape herded his charges to the doorway without another word and led them to the dungeons. Taking the bags from Blaise, Snape sent him on to the dorms before leading Harry to his own chambers. Eyes barely open, Harry simply followed, paying no attention to his surroundings until suddenly Snape was carefully taking Draco from his arms.
Harry was startled to see Snape laying Draco on a bed and beginning to remove the boy's shoes and outer wear. The bed had sheets and blankets that Harry recognized, and he quickly stripped down to his boxers, too tired to search for pyjamas, and slid into the bed, paying no attention to Snape. When Snape placed Draco under the covers next to him, Harry simply wrapped his arms around the small boy protectively, not even opening his eyes.
Both Harry and Draco were sound asleep and neither realized that Snape stood watching them for a long time that night. Harry never saw him in the dark shadows when Draco woke screaming a couple hours after lying down.
Groggily, Harry automatically sat up, pulling Draco onto his lap, murmuring soothingly to the crying boy until he was down to the occasional hiccupping sob. Harry blinked to see the handkerchief along with the glass and jug of water on the nightstand, and dazedly remembered that the house elves had moved things to the dungeons for them. Obviously they had remembered to leave these things out for Harry.
"I'll have to thank Dobby later," Harry muttered as he poured Draco a glass of water and helped the boy take a drink. Harry used the handkerchief to wipe down Draco's face and looked at him closely.
He was so sleepily focused on Draco that he still didn't see the man in the far shadows of the room watching them intently.
"Better now?" Harry asked quietly.
Draco hiccupped, then nodded slowly, but he kept his head down.
"Can you tell me about it?" Harry asked.
Draco shook his head fervently and Harry sighed. "Was it a different nightmare this time?"
Draco was silent and unmoving, tense in Harry's arms.
He really didn't have a clue if he was handling Draco's nightmares very well, but he took a stab at it anyway.
"Draco, remember I said if you tell me about your nightmares, I'll take them from you so you don't have to worry about them anymore," he said softly.
Harry felt the little blond head nod slowly against his chest.
"Can you tell me then?"
"It wasn't like a memory one," came the tiny voice answering Harry's question.
"Just because it's not like a memory doesn't mean it can't be just as scary," Harry said softly. "I've had lots of nightmares that weren't really memories."
Wide silver eyes peeked up at Harry. "Really?"
Harry gave him a sad smile. "Really. Sometimes things scare us even when we know they aren't really true. And especially when I was little, I had lots of nightmares. Partly because I simply didn't know as much as I do now that I'm older. Lots of things can be scary when you're little and don't understand."
"Like what?" Draco asked softly.
Harry chuckled lightly. "All right, my little Slytherin, we'll do this your way again. I'll tell you, but then you'll tell me. Deal?"
Draco shuddered in Harry's arms, but then he nodded resolutely. "Deal," he said, albeit a little shakily.
Harry closed his eyes for a few moments trying to figure out what to tell Draco without scaring him anymore than he already was. Still he didn't realize that Snape was watching and listening intently.
"My cousin used to pick on me a lot," Harry began, hoping he wasn't making a mistake by telling Draco this.
"Did he hex you?" Draco asked curiously.
"Um, no," Harry said. "He's a Muggle so he can't do magic at all."
"Then how did he pick on you?" Draco asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
Harry looked down at the small boy in wry amusement. "You really have grown up magic-oriented, Draco."
"I don't understand," Draco frowned.
If nothing else, this was getting Draco calmed down again, Harry thought ruefully.
"I just mean that you've grown up with magic all around you. That's all," Harry explained. "When I was growing up, I didn't even know that magic was real."
Draco looked at him wide eyed. "Really?"
Harry chuckled at being back where they were earlier. "Yes, really."
Draco frowned again. "So, how did he pick on you?"
"Well, that doesn't really matter," Harry said. "Let's just say he used to call me a lot of names and just generally liked being mean to me."
"I don't like it when people are mean," Draco scowled.
"I know, angel," Harry said with a small smile, before sobering again. "So anyway, I didn't know about magic and neither did my cousin, but in my nightmares it was like we didn't know that. I guess you would say that I would dream about him hexing me. It's not what I called it then and they weren't real hexes because I didn't know about real magic, but I'd dream that he was using magic to hurt me."
"Being hexed is scary," Draco said quietly.
"I know," Harry agreed. "It was really scary for me, especially since I didn't really understand it."
"So, was your nightmare about someone hexing you?" Harry asked quietly, turning things back towards Draco.
Draco shuddered lightly again. "No. I was running," he whispered, dropping his head.
Harry wasn't going to allow that, though, and tipped Draco's head back up. "Tell me," Harry said softly.
Draco swallowed hard. "I was just running and running and running," he said, finally ready to tell about his nightmare. "That's all I could do, but I kept tripping. And then I'd get up and run more before I'd fall again. And I just knew I couldn't get away but I kept running anyway. I was so scared, Harry," Draco said, crying softly again.
Harry rocked him lightly and ran his hand up and down Draco's back. "I'm sure it was quite scary. Draco, do you know what you were running from?" Harry asked, suspecting the answer.
"My father," Draco whispered, confirming Harry's suspicions.
Harry's hand fisted tightly behind Draco's back but his tone remained calm and soothing. "I'm not going to let your father hurt you anymore, angel. So you don't have to worry about running from him anymore."
"But I'm scared, Harry," Draco cried.
"Shhh, I know you're scared and it's okay to be scared sometimes," Harry said reassuringly.
"It is?" Draco asked, frowning at Harry.
Harry smiled slightly. "Yeah, it's natural to be scared and everybody is scared of something."
"Even Sev'rus?" Draco asked, his skepticism showing.
"Yes, I'm sure even Severus gets scared sometimes," Harry said, smiling wryly.
Still neither of them noticed the man in the shadows who was stiffening even more at Harry's words.
"But he's never scared of anything," Draco protested.
"He just doesn't show it often," Harry explained gently.
"What could scare him?" Draco asked.
"I know he's scared of anything ever happening to you," Harry said, kissing Draco on his forehead. "Just like I'm scared of anybody hurting you."
"Oh," Draco said, blinking at Harry.
"So see, everyone can get scared sometimes. You just have to be careful not to let your fears overwhelm you."
Draco scrunched his nose up in confusion. Harry chuckled lightly and kissed Draco on his nose. "Um, it's okay to be scared once in awhile, but you can't spend all your time thinking about being scared." Harry scrunched his own nose, trying to figure out if that made sense or not. "There's lots more things for you to do than just being scared," Harry added.
Draco was nodding, seeming to understand at least a little better.
"Like right now we should stop talking about being scared and go to sleep again," Harry said lightly, winking at Draco.
Draco giggled.
Harry smiled tiredly. "So, does that giggle of yours mean you feel ready to go back to sleep?"
"Yes," Draco declared. "I'm not going to be scared no more right now."
"Good choice," Harry said as he settled them back under the covers. "Sleep well, angel," Harry said softly.
"Night, Harry," Draco mumbled.
They both swiftly fell into slumber again. Snape watched them for a little longer before finally leaving the room, having some answers to his many questions—with the boys' conversation only creating others.
Chapter 12: New Arrangements
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 12: New Arrangements
"Harry, where are we?" Draco asked, shoving Harry awake.
Harry blinked blearily, automatically reaching for his glasses until he realized that he was seeing things clearly already. These new long-wearing contacts might be even better than he'd first thought. He blinked again and things were still in focus. Harry gave Draco a sudden grin which startled the small boy.
Harry frowned. "Draco, what's the matter?" he asked, sitting up and taking a closer look at Draco.
"I don't know where I am," Draco said fearfully.
"Oh, angel, it's all right. Severus brought us here last night. This is one of the rooms in his chambers, I guess," Harry said. "Remember we were going to move down to the dungeons with him?"
Draco relaxed and nodded. "I just forgot," he said quietly.
"It's okay," Harry said easily, relieved that Draco was so easily reassured.
Both of them looked around the room curiously. It was actually a large room, probably as big as the dorm Harry was used to, but this room only had the one bed. Harry wondered if Dumbledore had enlarged one of Snape's rooms—or if this room had even been there the day before.
The bed which they were currently still sitting in was actually at the far end of the room. Two pairs of wardrobes were stationed on either side of the bed. Harry rolled his eyes, realizing that the pair on the left had all of Draco's dragons on top. The house elves had moved literally all of their things, including all of Draco's sixteen-year-old clothes.
Draco's extra trunks, full of whatever, were in the corner, Harry's single trunk in the corner on the other side of the bed. There was a fireplace at the other end of the room with a grouping of furniture arranged in front of it.
There were a couple of desks off to one side, one child-sized for Draco to use and one for Harry to work on his assignments. A pair of bookshelves flanked the desks. The shelf next to Harry's desk had his school books and all the books that had been in his trunks, along with materials like extra parchment, ink and quills. On Draco's side, already unpacked, were all the books and art supplies they'd bought the day before.
Centrally located was a large play area, tailor-made for Draco. Low shelves along the wall held all of his toys. A small table was in front of the shelves and it was easily large enough for Draco to do puzzles, blocks or whatever he really wanted.
There were two doorways leading from the room. One Harry assumed led to a bathroom and one to Snape's sitting room. He vaguely remembered walking through it to get to their room the night before. For now, it was time to check to see if the other door actually led to a bathroom or not.
It was indeed a bathroom and Harry quickly decided that he wouldn't have to try to find the time to take Draco to the Prefects' bathroom anymore. They had access to their own personal bathroom that rivaled that of the Prefects' room, with a huge bathtub/swimming pool. Although, Harry appreciated that the room had a shower as well.
As they got ready for the day, Harry decided he was happier than he'd thought he'd be, moving down to the dungeons. With rooms like this, he could handle the fact that he was technically living with Snape.
Once dressed, they went in search of Snape and breakfast, finding both waiting for them as they left their room. Snape's rooms had a small, open kitchen off the sitting room with a small dining table. Snape was seated at the table, sipping tea and reading the Daily Prophet. Breakfast dishes were laid out, obviously waiting for Harry and Draco.
Suddenly, Harry was uncomfortable again. He felt distinctly out of place in Snape's personal chambers. Draco was clearly comfortable, though, and scrambled up onto one of the chairs and was cheerily greeting his godfather.
Harry sighed, sat down next to Draco and started filling Draco's plate for him. He was really wishing Snape would quit watching him all the time. He poured some pumpkin juice for Draco then himself, before beginning to fill his own plate and start eating.
"Why are we eating in here?" Draco asked the question Harry was wanting answered.
"I always eat breakfast in my chambers on Sunday mornings, Draco," Severus said evenly. "It is one of the few times I am allowed for myself, away from students."
Harry flinched lightly and set the fork back down that had been halfway to his mouth. "I don't have a problem with going up to the Great Hall," Harry said quietly, looking up at Snape through his fringe. He really, really did not want to impose on the man.
"Potter, I will enjoy my godson's company in what little free time I have available to me," Snape sneered. "At this time, this appears to mean that I will be . . . enduring your company as well. You will stay."
Harry looked back down at his plate, not feeling particularly hungry anymore. He really shouldn't be feeling hurt by Snape's words. He knew the man loathed him, and Harry had allowed the more truce-like situation because of Draco to lure him into believing otherwise.
Harry could feel Snape's eyes boring into him for several moments longer, probably waiting for a rude response from Harry, before shifting his attention to Draco and asking him how he liked his new room.
Draco began chatting away happily about their new room. Harry snorted inwardly when he realized that while Snape had referred to it as Draco's room, Draco was referring to it as both his and Harry's.
Harry remained silent because he really didn't want to get into any arg'ments with the man at the moment, especially on unfamiliar territory that happened to be extremely familiar to Snape. He reminded himself that he was there for Draco's sake.
Draco or not, Harry was really wondering if he'd made a mistake agreeing to this move to the dungeons. The tension really wasn't worth the trade-off of the nice rooms. Harry glanced at Draco's shining face as he talked excitedly about all the things he wanted to play with that they'd bought the day before. Harry's lips curved into a slight smile. Well, maybe it was worth it anyway.
Harry sighed and turned his attention back to his plate and took a few small bites. He did not feel like eating.
"May I be excused?" Harry asked in a lull in which Draco was actually eating instead of chattering at his godfather.
Snape looked at him sharply, eyebrow raised in faint surprise. Harry wanted to shout out that, yes, he actually had a few manners, but remained silent, waiting for an answer.
"Are you okay, Harry?" Draco asked worriedly, noticing that Harry hadn't really eaten much. The boy was far too observant about Harry's eating habits.
"I'm fine, Draco," Harry said patiently. "I just want to get started on some of my homework, and then I'll have more time to play with you later."
"What's homework? I haven't seen you do any homework," Draco said in confusion.
Harry closed his eyes, not exactly feeling patient anymore, but still valiantly trying to pretend at least. "It's the assignments that the professors have assigned for us students to do outside of class time. I haven't had much time to work on mine over the last few days," Harry explained.
"Because of me," Draco said quietly.
Argh! Harry wanted to scream. He was highly conscious of Snape's eyes boring into him again and just wanted to leave the damn room. But he wasn't about to leave Draco feeling uncertain.
Harry gave the small boy a hug. "Yes, I haven't had much time because I've been adjusting to this new situation with you."
Draco's head drooped and Harry put a finger under Draco's chin, tilting his head back up so he could look Draco in the eye. "The last few days have been very important to me, Draco, and there's absolutely no way I would've rather spent my time working on assignments when I could be with you."
Harry risked a quick glance at Snape and the man's face was twisted slightly, obviously torn between shouting at Harry and keeping quiet because of Draco. Harry's eyes met Draco's again. "I'm going to have to spend more time studying, but we'll sort things out as we get used to things so that it'll work out best for both of us. All right?"
"But work is more important," Draco said quietly.
Harry closed his eyes briefly and wanted to curse Lucius Malfoy anew. "Work is important, but it's never more important than you," he said to Draco.
"Really?" Draco asked, his brow furrowed.
"Really," Harry said with a grin. He was getting used to this little really thing they had going.
"Okay, Harry," Draco said, relaxing again and smiling at Harry.
"Now, it may not be more important, but I still need to try to get some of it done," Harry said, still smiling reassuringly at Draco. "I'll be right through that doorway over there," he said pointing. "So you know right where to find me, but you can still enjoy your breakfast and spend some time with your godfather."
Harry stood, not caring anymore that he hadn't actually been excused.
"But how come you didn't eat?" Draco asked innocently before Harry could leave.
Argh! The urge to scream was back. "Um, I guess I'm just not really hungry this morning," Harry said.
Draco nodded in acceptance and finally turned back to his own breakfast.
Harry absolutely refused to look at Snape and finally went back to his new room. Rather than starting on his assignments though, like he should be, he got out the journal instead. He hadn't had a chance to write in it the night before. Besides, he was still feeling edgy about the situation with Snape and could use some downtime before he had to focus on assignments.
September 5
Actually today is the 6th, but I was practically asleep while walking when we got back here last night, so I'm writing it this morning instead. I can practically hear you in my head saying that I'm an idiot Gryffindor that can't even figure out the days of the week correctly.
But as a 4 year old, you had a wicked time yesterday . . .
When Draco came bouncing into the room an hour later, Harry had put the journal away and was working on his Charms essay. Harry sat his quill on the desk and turned in the chair to face Draco.
"So, what are you wanting to do first?" Harry asked with a grin.
Draco frowned. "Don't you have work to do? I can play by myself."
Draco's words made Harry frown as well. "You're used to playing by yourself a lot, aren't you?"
Draco shrugged his little shoulders. "I always play by myself. There's never anyone else around."
Harry scowled. The day would someday come when Harry Potter would kill Lucius Malfoy, and he would do it quite happily.
"Well, I'm around now," Harry declared. "And I just so happen to want to play at the moment."
Draco giggled at Harry's feigned attitude, before turning to look at the shelves. "I don't even know how to play with any of this," Draco said. "I've got lots of toys and things, but not like these."
Harry tapped a finger on his chin as he eyed Draco thoughtfully, before looking at the things on the shelves. "Well, I say we start with some of those block sets. I bet we could build some pretty wicked things judging from the pictures on those boxes."
"They do look brilliant," Draco said, nodding fervently.
"I say we'll see what we can build together this morning and this afternoon you can see what you can build by yourself while I get some of my assignments done," Harry suggested.
"Deal!" Draco said, grinning brightly.
They spent the rest of the morning painstakingly building the designs indicated on several of the boxes of blocks. Harry had bought a whole series of castle-themed legos and Draco was fascinated with them.
"Harry!" Draco shouted in excitement, shoving a box under Harry's nose that he'd just pulled from the shelf. "This one has a dragon we can build! See it?!"
Laughing, Harry pulled the box back several inches so he could actually see it. "Wow! You're right, Draco! I don't even remember this one." Harry gave Draco a rueful smile. "Then again, I don't remember ninety percent of what we got since we were mostly just grabbing things in a rush."
"Yeah," Draco said absently, now staring at the pictures on the box. "Can we make this one next, Harry?" Draco asked.
"Of course we can," Harry said, smiling at the little boy's fascination with the dragon. Truth be told, Harry was quite fascinated with his own little dragon.
"Potter."
Harry looked up at the man standing in the doorway. "Yes, sir?"
"The password to the rooms is 'crushed snake fangs'. You will not give out the password to anyone," Snape said, his voice holding a deadly warning. "You will not bring anyone to these rooms at any time. Is this understood?"
"Yes, sir," Harry said quietly. He'd already figured this out on his own, not that Snape would have believed him if he'd said that. Harry knew very well that he was essentially rooming in isolation with Draco. And Snape.
"You will also pay attention when you leave for lunch so you will know how to return, as I'm not positive you were quite aware last night of your surroundings," Snape sneered.
"Yes, sir," Harry said once again. Snape stood in the doorway for a moment longer before turning on his heel and stalking away, robes billowing behind him.
Harry continued to stare at the open doorway. How could he have possibly thought that the man was loosening up towards him?
Draco tugging on the sleeve of his robes brought Harry's attention back to the dragon they were still building.
"Where have you been, Harry?" Ron was asking, demanding, before Harry and Draco had even had a chance to sit down at the table.
Harry looked at his friend curiously. "Uh, Ron, you knew I was moving down to the dungeons."
"Yes, but no one's seen you at all since yesterday morning," Hermione explained their worry.
Harry shrugged. "We were gone all day yesterday and then this morning I got a little of my assignments done and played blocks with Draco." Harry winked at Draco causing the boy to giggle. Harry was enjoying the fact that he was hearing that sound more often as the days wore on.
"Well, why weren't you at breakfast?" Ron demanded to know.
Harry was hard pressed trying to keep the grimace off his face. "We, uh, had breakfast with," he glanced at Draco, "Severus this morning so he could spend some time with Draco."
"Why did you have to stay there? It's not like he wants to spend more time with you," Ron said.
Harry flinched lightly. Yes, he knew very well their Potions professor didn't actually want him around. "I was making things easier for Draco," Harry snapped, more irritably than he'd intended.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Is everything going to be about him now?"
Harry glared at him. "Don't start, Ron. Just don't start."
Eyes full of hurt, Ron stared at him. "It's not my fault the Slytherins are more important to you all of a sudden."
Draco was looking worried, but he piped up. "Harry said I was more important than work," he said helpfully, not quite understanding what Ron was really upset about.
Ron was still looking hurt, but his lips twitched as he looked at Draco. "He said that?"
"Really," Draco said earnestly. "I bet you're more important than work, too."
Harry dropped his head into his hands. He missed Ron looking curiously, almost hopefully, at Draco. He also missed the intent stare of Hermione turning into an eye roll at the slight absurdity of the whole conversation.
"Speaking of work, Harry," Hermione spoke up. "I brought my potions notes so you can copy them this afternoon."
"Yeah, she made me work on potions on a Saturday, just so you could borrow her notes today," Ron said ruefully.
"It certainly didn't hurt you to get your potions done early for once, instead of waiting until the last minute," Hermione retorted.
"It did too hurt," Ron muttered so only Harry could hear.
Harry snickered and thanked Hermione. He knew she recognized that his heartfelt thanks were for the potions notes, but also for helping to defuse the situation. The rest of lunch went relatively peacefully, with Harry and Draco describing their shopping trip.
"Potter."
Harry was sitting at his desk trying to work on his assignments again. He'd gotten a fair amount done that afternoon, especially when Draco took a nap, but he had gotten behind during the week.
He'd tucked Draco in for the night about twenty minutes before, and considering that Harry had sent Draco out to say goodnight to his godfather, he was sure Snape realized that Draco would be asleep by now.
Harry looked up when Snape called his name and reluctantly got up when Snape gestured for him to come out to the sitting room.
"You need to be able to block your mind so that the Dark Lord cannot cross the link," Snape said without preamble once Harry was in the other room.
Harry said nothing, not sure where Snape was going with this. They'd already discussed this.
"You will begin learning exactly how to do this, starting tonight," Snape sneered.
"Tonight? But . . . ," Harry protested.
Snape interrupted. "Yes, Potter, you will start tonight. It is one of the main reasons you are staying in my quarters," he said coldly.
Harry stared at his professor, wanting to protest that he hadn't expected to start immediately. Wanting to protest that he still had assignments to finish. Wanting to protest that he simply hated learning Occlumency—period.
Occlumency hurt. It hurt his body as he fell every time he was attacked. His scar always ended up prickling and seemed extra sensitive afterwards. His defenses always seemed lower and he usually felt downright shaky and sick.
Except for that brief appearance by Voldemort in his nightmare a few nights earlier, he hadn't actually had to deal with him for over a week. Voldemort had been quiet and Harry appreciated that.
Harry needed to learn Occlumency, he knew that, but wouldn't Voldemort become even more active once he thought Harry was gone from his mind again? Would the visions become even more horrible to bear? Would even more people be killed?
Perhaps, but they had no spy now. They needed to be able to know what Voldemort was up to and they needed to be able to rely on the information—rather than wasting time trying to sort through what was real and what was planted information. Then, of course, Harry was damned tired of Voldemort taunting him on a regular basis.
Harry looked down at the floor and sighed, resigned to a night of pain and misery. "Yes, sir," he said quietly as he reached to slip his wand from the waistband of his jeans.
"Sit down," Snape commanded. "We will start tonight by going over methods you can use to help clear your mind, which will help protect you from attack at night."
Harry looked up at him in surprise but hurried to comply and sat down in the chair that Snape had indicated, directly across from his own.
"This will not keep you from slipping into his mind, but it will help prevent him from slipping into yours," Snape said, using his best professorial tones.
Harry listened avidly and worked to begin learning meditation techniques that would hopefully be able to help him. The late night lesson was both interesting and helpful. Snape's attitude was cool and sometimes derogatory towards Harry, but overall it wasn't the type of cruel lessons that hadn't really taught him a damned thing the year before.
Although, Snape did warn him that after he had taught Harry some of these other techniques, he would be showing no mercy when casting Legilimens and helping to further Harry's skills. They would not all be pleasant lessons like this first one.
Harry simply nodded his acknowledgement. He understood the "no mercy" lessons and expected them from Snape. What he was surprised by, was Snape teaching something useful so that he could actually understand. He certainly wasn't complaining about it, though.
It was close to midnight by the time Snape sent him back to his room.
September 6
It was actually a fairly quiet day for you today. I already wrote about this morning and our new room. I had kind of a rough start to the day and it's ending kind of interesting for me, but you had a good day . . .
Chapter 13: Hurt and Confused
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 13: Hurt and Confused
"Harry Potter."
Harry knew Voldemort had him trapped. Looking around him, he realized he was in Voldemort's version of a throne room. Harry knew the place and recognized it immediately because he'd seen it so many times in his visions.
Voldemort hadn't ever actually summoned Harry to this place, though. He planted visions for Harry, he taunted him in his nightmares, he knew Harry often witnessed things that happened there—but he'd never called Harry there.
Harry couldn't figure out exactly how it was happening, but he knew that it was happening regardless.
"What do you want?" Harry asked defiantly, and was not exactly surprised that Voldemort seemed to hear him. This little communication was new and it was unnerving Harry.
"Harry Potter, I'm so pleased you could meet with me tonight," Voldemort said coldly.
Harry shivered and wondered how he could even feel himself shivering. "What do you want?" Harry repeated.
"I wanted to have a little talk with you," Voldemort said almost casually, and Harry shivered again to remember that this piece of evil used to be a real man—completely human.
"Then talk so I can go," Harry shouted.
"No need to shout, Potter," Voldemort said. "We are the only ones here."
Harry glared at him, the man with the cold red eyes, and hated the fact that he was trapped here and couldn't leave. Harry waited. Let the snake-faced bastard say what he wanted to so he could get out of there.
"I'm quite curious as to why you were dreaming about my right hand man recently," Voldemort said coldly. "How is it that you know about the intricacies between Lucius and his son? What exactly is your concern for the young Malfoy, who will soon be a part of my fold?"
"I'm not telling you anything about Draco," Harry shouted defiantly.
Voldemort looked at him with interest. "It would seem that you are quite fond of Draco. I was not aware that you were even on a first name basis with him. Is there more to this? Or is this just something one-sided for you?"
Harry continued to glare at him, but remained silent. As much as he wanted to shout at Voldemort, he didn't want to give the bastard any more ammunition.
"Hmmm, perhaps I need to learn more about what exactly is going on at Hogwarts this year," Voldemort said musingly. "Perhaps also I need to free Lucius so that he might check personally on his son. I do miss having my right hand man available to me."
Harry continued to keep his silence, glaring defiantly at Voldemort.
"You upset me greatly with that little stunt you pulled," Voldemort said dangerously. "But then, I will have Lucius back. You will never see Black again, so I suppose not all was lost."
Harry could feel the guilt, the anger, the fear—all of it weighing him down heavily. "At least you never got the prophecy," he shouted.
"I was angered that you lost me the prophecy," Voldemort said coldly.
"Yeah, it's too bad you didn't get a chance to hear it, because then you'd know you were fighting a lost cause," Harry snapped recklessly.
Voldemort was beyond furious with that declaration and somehow flung Harry back to his own mind, however that worked.
Harry woke in his own bed, and promptly threw himself to the side, retching, unaware of anything more than the emotions swirling around inside of him, along with the pain flaring hotly from his scar.
Vaguely, Harry felt gentle hands helping to steady him as he emptied the contents of his stomach. Harry moved to swipe the back of his hand across his mouth but a cool cloth was suddenly pressed into his hand. He swiped the cloth across his face instead and tried to sit up again. Gentle hands helped him until Harry was sitting propped up against the pillows.
Gradually becoming more aware of his surroundings, Harry stared blankly at his Potions professor for a moment, uncomprehending that Snape was the one helping him. Harry flinched when he glanced around and realized Draco was sobbing on the other end of the bed, sound beginning to penetrate his overloaded brain.
"Draco?" Harry said hoarsely.
Draco came shooting across the bed to land in Harry's lap. Harry clutched him tightly, still trying to make sense of everything.
"Potter, do I need to summon Dumbledore?" Snape asked quietly, yet demanding an answer.
Harry shook his head, then frantically pressed one of his hands to his forehead. "No, sir," he managed to croak out.
Snape gave him a sharp look, then turned sharply and left the room. Harry just continued to clutch his forehead with one hand and Draco with the other. Snape was soon back and helping to steady Harry as he drank down the potions Snape had returned with. Harry didn't even hesitate to swallow them and didn't notice Snape's slight surprise at that fact.
Within moments Harry could feel the pain easing and his stomach start to calm down again. When Snape handed him a glass of water, Harry drank it down greedily. He was still feeling incredibly shaky, but so much better than he had been.
Harry glanced up at Snape, expecting to be questioned now, but Snape simply nodded his head towards Draco, indicating that Harry should see to him first.
Harry took a deep breath, hoping to calm himself further. He snagged one of the handkerchiefs that were always left on the nightstand.
"Draco, are you all right?" Harry asked quietly.
Draco didn't answer and Harry's heart sank.
"I'm so sorry, angel," Harry said miserably. "I knew this was a bad idea to let you sleep with me."
Draco looked up at him, wide eyes shining with tears. Harry gently wiped away the tears, looking at him sadly.
"I don't want to sleep nowhere else," Draco said shakily in a tiny voice.
"But I'm just scaring you and I don't want to see you scared," Harry said miserably. "It's not right for me to be waking you up in the middle of the night and for you to be seeing me like this."
"But I wake you up at night and you see me cry," Draco said, his little hand reaching up to wipe at the tears flowing down Harry's cheeks that Harry hadn't even realized he was crying.
"It's different, Draco," Harry said quietly. "I'm older and I'm supposed to be taking care of you. And I'm not doing a very good job if I scare you and make you cry."
"It's not different," Draco said, some defiance coming into his voice. "We're supposed to take care of each other. You take care of me, so I can take care of you if I want to."
Harry gave him a slight smile, albeit still sad. "I'm older than you, angel. I'm not supposed to be burdening a four-year-old with my problems."
Draco frowned. "So, because you're older you shouldn't have someone to take care of you? Or do you just have someone else to take care of you 'sides me? Who's supposed to hold you and take care of you when you have nightmares at night?"
Harry looked over to Snape, where the man had seated himself at the end of the bed simply observing them. Harry wasn't sure if he was expecting censure from the man or looking for help in dealing with Draco. Either way he was to be disappointed because Snape's face was a blank mask with no indication of what he was thinking and he wasn't saying anything, helpful or otherwise.
Harry sighed and put thoughts of Snape out of his mind again, trying to figure out how to explain to Draco. "It's complicated, Draco. It's not that I don't want someone to take care of me. I'm just kind of used to not having anyone, so I learned long ago to deal with things the best I could on my own."
Draco was concentrating hard on Harry's words. Harry sighed again and continued. "I don't want you to have to deal with things on your own like I had to, so I want to be here for you when you wake up scared at night. But I don't want you to be scared because of me."
Draco looked a little confused, causing Harry to run a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm not explaining it well."
Draco's forehead was furrowed in thought. "I get scared, but it's not the same. You don't scare me, Harry. I'm just scared that you're scared like me. And you make me feel safe so I want to make you feel safe, too."
Harry blinked at the small boy, trying to make sense of what he'd said, and not at all sure of what he should say.
Draco looked up at him beseechingly. "Please don't make me go, Harry," he said pleadingly, his lower lip trembling and on the verge of tears again. "Even when I'm scared I feel safe with you. Don't send me away."
"Draco . . . ," Harry began.
"No! I don't want to go! I don't care if I get scared when you have nightmares. I have nightmares, too. I understand. I do! Please don't make me go!" Draco said, his tone anxious, scared, worried and pleading all at once.
Harry pulled Draco close again and wrapped him in a tight hug. "Shhh. I'm not making you go anywhere. I'm always going to be right here for you no matter what. I just think maybe you should try sleeping in your own bed is all. I would still be right here for you, but then I could prevent me from waking you up at night."
"But it's lonely and scary by myself," Draco said quietly. "And I wake up lots more when I'm all alone."
Harry sighed heavily. "Then we'll keep trying this a little longer. I don't know how right it is, but . . . ," He kissed the top of the little blond head. "How about you just go back to sleep?"
"Are you all right, Harry?" Draco asked worriedly.
"I'll be all right, angel," Harry said softly. "Sleep now."
Draco allowed Harry to tuck him back in and within a couple of minutes he was sleeping soundly again.
"Potter," Snape said as he stood.
"Yes, sir," Harry said quietly, as he slid out of bed. He'd expected to have to talk about the actual vision and there was no way he'd be falling back asleep anytime soon anyway.
He snagged Draco's soft blanket to wrap up in as he followed Snape out to the sitting room. Harry huddled into a corner of the couch, blanket wrapped tightly around him, trying to mentally prepare himself for the inquisition that was sure to come.
He'd managed to block a lot of it out as he dealt with Draco, but now all the feelings and thoughts from the vision with Voldemort were beginning to overwhelm him again.
Snape startled him by settling down on the couch, and Harry looked up at him nervously.
"Describe your vision," Snape said evenly.
Harry closed his eyes and haltingly began explaining everything that had been said and explained that this was the first time it had ever happened quite that way, with Voldemort pulling Harry to wherever he was.
It didn't really take that long, but Harry was a trembling mess again by the time he'd finished explaining it. Thoughts of Sirius, worry for Draco, fear of what Voldemort would do next, anger that Lucius could be released from Azkaban—all of it overwhelming him.
Harry began sobbing and registered he was having a minor breakdown in front of Snape, of all people, but couldn't stop himself. He was exhausted, scar still prickling painfully from Voldemort's anger, and simply overwhelmed.
Still, his eyes flew open as he felt hands grab his upper arms and Harry was too shocked to even struggle as Snape picked him up and bodily placed Harry in his lap, much like Harry did with Draco.
Harry couldn't speak and despite the total irregularity of the situation, he collapsed against Snape's chest, sobbing out his guilt, anger, hurt, frustration and confusion. It may have been Snape holding him, but Harry couldn't really bring himself to care much, because it felt good to have someone holding him and taking care of him for once. Eventually Harry cried himself into an exhausted sleep, still held securely in Snape's arms.
Harry woke a few short hours later, in his own bed, with Draco shaking him.
"Harry, it's time to wake up," Draco said urgently. "Come on, Harry. Sev'rus said you have to wake up now or you'll be late for class."
Harry shot up suddenly as remembered the night before. He swallowed hard. This was likely to be a very long day.
"Hurry up, Harry," Draco said. "Sev'rus helped me get ready and he said not to wake you earlier. But now you have to go fast so you won't be late."
Harry groaned and slid out of the bed to begin hurriedly dressing for the day, before following Draco out to the sitting room. Harry swallowed hard again when he saw Snape sitting at the small table where breakfast was laid out, him and Draco obviously having already eaten.
"Um, sir?" Harry said nervously.
"Do not breathe a word, Potter," Snape sneered at him. "I suggest you grab something quick to eat on your way to classes. You have only twenty minutes before you're late."
"Yes, sir," Harry said wearily. As he grabbed an orange and some toast, he wondered if he'd just imagined Snape's gentleness from the night before. Then there was the fact that he obviously let Harry get a little more sleep this morning, but then sneers at him for running late. The man was confusing him highly.
Harry got the message, though, that he didn't dare bring up the fact that Snape had actually held him the night before as he fell apart. Not like Harry really wanted to talk about it anyway.
Harry and Draco ended up arriving at the Transfiguration classroom with only a minute to spare, their friends already in their seats waiting for class to start.
"Where were you two?" Hermione hissed at him. "We were worried when you didn't show up for breakfast."
"Harry had a nightmare and Sev'rus let him sleep in so then he was almost late," Draco piped up helpfully.
Harry dropped his head to the desk with a loud thunk.
"Snape actually let you sleep in?" Pansy questioned in surprise.
"A nightmare?" Ron asked anxiously.
Harry turned his head slightly and sent a glare in Ron's direction. This was not the time or place to discuss whether it had actually been a nightmare or a vision.
Harry turned his head in the other direction because Draco was tugging on his sleeve. Draco was looking at him worriedly. "It was okay to tell them, wasn't it?"
"If you hadn't, then I suppose I probably would've told them myself," Harry said ruefully.
Draco was reassured but everyone else was shooting Harry worried looks. They didn't have any more time to question him as McGonagall got class started, though.
"I can't believe Snape actually let you sleep in," Pansy said at lunchtime, resuming the conversation from that morning.
"At least you had Binns today, so it was also an easy nap day," Blaise said with a grin.
"True," Harry said, grinning back.
"But still, I can see Snape letting Draco sleep in, but not Harry," Pansy said, sounding bemused still.
"It was kind of a rough night," Harry said quietly.
"When is it not a rough night for you two?" Blaise snorted.
Harry stuck his tongue out at him. "Shut up, Blaise."
The surrounding Slytherins were all snickering at him and his childish behavior.
"And we thought Draco was the child here," Pansy said, amusement lacing her tone.
"But I am the child," Draco piped up, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"Sure you are," Blaise said consolingly, his lips quirking as he tried to suppress his grin. "But you tend to act more mature than Harry does."
"I do?" Draco asked.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Just ignore them, Draco. It doesn't matter how old you are. Everyone should be allowed to behave like a child at least once in awhile."
"Oh, is that why you're so good at playing with my toys?" Draco asked innocently.
Harry flushed lightly as everyone broke out in loud laughter, attracting attention from around the hall.
Harry nudged Draco. "You're not exactly helping me here, angel," Harry said in rueful amusement.
"But why not? You play with me when no one else ever does. I like when you play with my toys with me," Draco said quietly, obviously feeling a little unsure now.
Harry leaned over and kissed Draco on his forehead as he wrapped an arm around him reassuringly. "And I'm going to keep playing with you, no matter what they say," Harry said in defiance.
Draco grinned as the others smiled at the pair of them.
Harry suddenly grinned wickedly, a mischievous glint in his emerald eyes. The others noticed and looked at him warily.
"Perhaps, Draco, we should take some of your toys over to the Slytherin common room this evening," Harry said innocently. "I bet someone would play with you while I work on my assignments. I wouldn't want to deny them a chance to play with toys."
"Really?" Draco asked hopefully.
"Really," Harry said, unable to hold back his wide grin.
"Maybe Pansy could help you with one of your puzzles or Blaise could race some of the cars with you that he helped pick out. Or I bet Crabbe and Goyle could help you build a huge block tower with your big blocks. They are a lot taller than me after all," Harry said, smirking at the Slytherins.
They stared at Harry wide-eyed, unable at first to believe that he'd turned the tables on them so effectively, but with Draco's obvious excitement at the idea, they all smiled ruefully.
"Will you really play with me?" Draco asked excitedly.
"Yeah, you pick out something to bring to the common room tonight and we'll let Harry get some of his work done while we play," Pansy answered with a smile.
"I've been wanting to see those cars I picked out anyway," Blaise added.
Crabbe and Goyle simply nodded their agreement.
"You really should be a Slytherin," Blaise said dryly to Harry.
Harry smirked at him. "I think I would have done pretty well as a Slytherin," Harry said agreeably.
"Does that mean you can wear the Slytherin robes so we can match sometimes?" Draco asked. "I have Gryffindor robes to wear."
Harry wasn't the only one to begin spluttering. "Um, well, I'm not sure everyone would appreciate me wearing Slytherin robes," he choked out.
"But I've got lots of robes and they'd fit you," Draco said innocently.
"But I'm not a Slytherin," Harry protested.
"Blaise said that you should be, though," Draco said.
"I could be a Slytherin, but I'm actually a Gryffindor," Harry tried to explain.
"Why can't you be both?" Draco asked. "We sit at both the Slytherin table and the Gryffindor table every day. So, why can't you wear Slytherin robes some days and other days wear Gryffindor robes?"
"Uh, well . . . ," Harry trailed off, not exactly having a good answer for that. What Draco said actually made a bit of sense. "I'm not so sure other people would see it that way. It might upset some people."
The others were listening intently as Harry tried to explain this to Draco.
"Why should they get angry?" Draco asked.
Harry sighed. How did he get himself into these kinds of discussions with Draco all the time? Harry really didn't want to upset the Slytherins that he was actually becoming friends with.
"They shouldn't get angry," Harry said quietly.
"Well, then why would they?" Draco asked, pressing for a better answer.
How do you explain house rivalries to a four-year-old? How do you explain that you're supposed to be the Gryffindor Golden Boy and Savior of the Wizarding World which leaves you with an image to uphold?
Then again, Harry was already breaking tradition just by sitting at the Slytherin table. Already the school seemed to be tolerating that fact pretty well. Everyone knew that Harry was taking care of the four-year-old and seemed to be respecting that fairly well overall. It helped considerably that Harry actually had the support from both Gryffindor and Slytherin houses.
And really, if everyone was respecting Harry's affiliation with the Slytherins overall, why couldn't he take that a little further and show his support of the house by wearing their robes?
Would it really hurt Harry's image? Did he particularly care if it did? People had thought a lot of things about him over the years, including that he was turning to the dark side, but they always came back around eventually, still expecting him to be the hero.
Would it cause a lot of trouble in the school and more fights and duels, though? There were still a few diehards in both houses that had trouble dealing with Harry's affiliation with Slytherin. Would they cause trouble?
Would Gryffindor feel insulted? Would Slytherin feel insulted?
"Harry?" Draco asked tentatively, tugging on Harry's robes.
Harry blinked and focused again on his surroundings, everyone still watching him closely.
"You know what, Draco?" Harry said. "I think you're right. I don't think anyone should be angry, and if they do get angry, I don't really care. I don't have a problem with showing a little Slytherin pride along with you some days. In fact, I feel a bit honored to be a part of both Gryffindor and Slytherin houses."
Draco grinned, but the Slytherins looked gobsmacked at Harry's words.
"Harry, you can't wear Slytherin robes," Pansy protested, her words filled with astonishment.
"Why not?" Harry asked, brows arched.
"Because you're not a Slytherin!" Pansy screeched.
Harry, and all those closest to her, winced.
"He might as well be," Blaise said with a shrug, seeming to warm up to the idea.
"But he's not," Pansy protested, much quieter this time.
"I think he should wear Slytherin robes if he wants to," Goyle said quietly.
Harry whipped his head and gave Goyle a surprised smile for sticking up for him. Crabbe and Goyle rarely ever spoke up that Harry had witnessed.
Harry turned to look at Crabbe, sitting on the other side of Draco. "What do you think, Crabbe?" Harry asked quietly.
Crabbe swallowed nervously. He glanced warily at his fellow Slytherins before looking steadily at Harry. "I think it could help show the rest of the school that maybe we're not so bad as everyone thinks." He swallowed nervously again before continuing. "You're a . . . kind of big person in this school. People notice you and all, and already we're kind of being treated nicer." He shrugged uncomfortably.
Harry smiled at him warmly. He was actually becoming quite fond of the two large Slytherins who'd threatened him bodily so many times over the years.
"If you do wear Slytherin robes, we'll be there in case anyone tries to hassle you," Goyle added, his tone threatening anyone who'd dare mess with Harry.
Harry grinned. "Thanks, guys." It was extremely odd being the one on this end of their bullying ways. "Just, let's try not to actually hurt anyone, all right? We want to improve things, not make them worse."
"Whatever you say, Harry," Crabbe said.
Harry glanced back to Blaise and Pansy, and laughed outright at their gobsmacked expressions.
Blaise recovered from his shock first. "Yeah, whatever you say, Harry," he smirked. "We'll be behind you."
"Gods, when did things get so turned around?" Pansy asked in bemusement. "I could have swore Harry was the leader in Gryffindor house, not Slytherin."
"I'm not a leader in Slytherin house at all," Harry said snickering.
Pansy looked at him curiously. "Yeah, well, you're beginning to fool me," she said seriously. "And we're only in the second week of school this year."
"Pansy, I'm not trying to interfere or anything," Harry said, uncomfortable now. "I'm just trying to make the best of things and take care of Draco."
Pansy snorted. "I know that. And if it wasn't for Draco, we wouldn't be sitting here talking to you so easily."
Harry was really uncomfortable now. Once again he was being reminded that these people were only being friendly with him because of Draco's attachment to him. Really, the whole situation had actually gone a whole lot smoother than Harry would have ever expected—if he had ever thought to imagine this scenario.
"I'm sorry for intruding," Harry said quietly, looking down at the table. Harry had been caught up in the conversations and hadn't been eating much. Now he wasn't really even hungry anymore. Why did everyone have to keep reminding him that he wasn't wanted?
He missed the glares that Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle and Draco were directing at Pansy. Draco didn't quite understand what had happened, but he realized it was Pansy's fault that Harry was sad again.
"Harry, I didn't mean that the way it came out," Pansy said, obviously realizing what she'd said and how Harry had taken it.
"No, you're right. We all know why I'm here. I just need to be thankful that you've all taken this whole turn of events so well. This is about Draco, not me," Harry said quietly.
"Harry –" Pansy began.
"No," Harry said, holding his hand up to stop her from saying anything else. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I obviously needed the reminder of my place here."
Harry really wished that he could just walk away, but he had to remember Draco. "Are you about finished, Draco?"
Draco nodded, looking at Harry sadly, not understanding what had happened, but understanding that Harry wasn't in the mood to answer his questions. He remained silent, getting up and picking up his bag.
"Harry, stay," Blaise said imploringly.
"No, thanks," Harry said quietly. "I've got to go get the assignment I forgot before class starts anyway."
They all knew perfectly well that Harry hadn't forgotten his assignment, and watched him quietly as he left the Great Hall with Draco.
Chapter 14: Breaking Down
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 14: Breaking Down
Harry intentionally got to the Potions classroom a minute late, not wanting to deal with everyone. He'd had a difficult night; he was tired, he was confused, and he was feeling generally cranky and hurt now.
"Mr. Potter, ten points from Gryffindor for being late," Snape sneered.
Harry just nodded and sat Draco at an empty desk at the back of the Gryffindor side of the room, ignoring Blaise trying to wave him to the seat next to him, ignoring the other Slytherins, ignoring the Gryffindors, ignoring Snape's raised eyebrow at Harry's choice of seating.
Snape went back to lecturing and Harry quickly got out his parchment, quill and ink to take notes, as well as helping Draco get out the same so he could draw. Harry ignored all the worried and curious glances sent his direction and took down all the required notes.
"Stay right here," Harry ordered Draco quietly. "I just need to get the supplies for the potion."
"Okay, Harry," Draco said quietly.
Harry took a deep breath and made his way over to the student's store cupboard along with half the class. Pansy and Hermione both cornered him.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"He's upset with me," Pansy said quietly.
"You only told the truth," Harry said wearily. "I'm not upset with you for telling the truth."
"Harry, I didn't mean it that way," Pansy whispered, not wanting Snape to overhear. "I'm sorry."
Hermione was now looking at them both with raised eyebrows.
"Look, just forget it. I'm just in a lousy mood because I had a rough night," Harry said, snagging supplies from the shelves.
"And why was last night so bad?" Hermione asked anxiously.
"I don't want to talk about it," Harry snapped irritably.
"Are you still going to come to the common room after dinner?" Pansy asked worriedly.
Harry sighed.
"Mr. Potter," Snape broke into their conversation. "You seem to be intent on disrupting the class today. That'll be ten points, now return to your seat immediately."
Harry shot him a glare, but turned his back on the two girls without another word and went back to his seat. Harry scowled to himself as he thought about the fact that it seemed he was going to pay the price for having gotten some comfort the night before.
As Harry made his way back to his workbench, he saw Draco looking back at him with a forlorn expression. Harry knew he had to work hard to try to turn his attitude around again, for Draco's sake, if not his own.
Harry set the potions supplies down and looked at Draco. "Feel like helping me brew a potion this afternoon?" Harry asked.
"Really?" Draco breathed.
"Really," Harry said, finally giving Draco a small smile.
Harry set a mortar and pestle in front of Draco and showed him how to grind the scarab beetles while Harry started chopping the daisy roots he needed.
Harry tuned out everyone else and actually spent a fairly pleasant hour working on the potion with Draco. He was more of a help than Harry had expected, but then, Harry realized he should have known better. Draco showed a fascination with potions and he worked with an intense concentration with any task Harry gave him. He also listened to Harry's every word, careful not to make any mistakes.
Snape came over and glared into their cauldron. "It would seem that even at only age four, Mr. Malfoy is capable of helping you to brew a potion correctly," he sneered at Harry.
Harry looked down at his work surface, feeling stung by the insult. Things were definitely normal in the Potions classroom once again. Harry refused to say a word and after a few tense moments, Snape finally moved on.
When they were done, Harry sent Draco to take the vial up to Snape's desk while Harry cleaned up. It made Draco feel important at the same time that it kept Harry away from Snape and everyone else.
By the time class was over, Harry wasn't exactly feeling better, but he was trying to make more of an effort to stay positive for Draco's sake. He wasn't expecting to be ambushed after class, though.
Harry was still working to clean up and pack his and Draco's things when Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Blaise all converged on him.
"Mr. Potter, you will stay after class," Snape ordered as everyone was gathering their things.
"But I . . .," Harry started, and then thought better of it at Snape's glare. "Yes, sir," he said quietly.
"You four can wait outside for him," Snape sneered.
Harry quickly finished packing their things back into their bags and took Draco by the hand to walk up and stand in front of Snape's desk.
Snape sat at his desk, studying them both for a minute, his hands steepled under his chin.
"Draco, I was wondering if you would perhaps like to help me with a potion this afternoon, just you and I," Snape said, surprising both Draco and Harry.
"You'd let me really help you?" Draco asked, his eyes lighting up.
Snape nodded and gave his godson a slight smile. "Yes, Draco, as you helped Mr. Potter this afternoon, you proved that you can be a big help in the lab."
Draco frowned. "But why can't Harry stay?"
"Mr. Potter does not have the same fascination with potions that you do," Snape said smoothly. "I do not think that he would begrudge you the time working on potions while he himself would prefer to be spending his time doing something else."
"You don't like potions, Harry?" Draco asked in wonderment.
"Uh, well, sometimes, but I don't really feel like working on any more potions right now," Harry said, still confused about what exactly was going on. Then again, he seemed to be constantly confused by Snape's behavior towards him over the last week.
"Mr. Potter can return here and collect you before dinner," Snape said to Draco.
"Will you remember to come get me, Harry?" Draco asked anxiously.
Harry smiled and crouched down to give him a hug. "Of course, angel. You have fun brewing potions with Severus."
"Okay, Harry," Draco said, reassured and excited about working on more potions.
Harry turned to leave, but Snape stopped him with a look. "Draco, I've set a cauldron out. Go ahead and start getting out measuring supplies from that shelf there," Snape said, pointing out the supplies for Draco.
Draco eagerly moved to comply and Snape turned back to Harry. "Whatever your problem is with them," Snape sneered, gesturing to the door where Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Blaise were surely still waiting. "I suggest that you get it worked out before dinner."
Snape didn't give Harry a chance to respond and went to help Draco. Harry looked at him wide-eyed with surprise. Snape was doing this to help him? After treating him lousily during class? Confused once again, Harry turned to leave.
He was thinking about Snape and had almost forgotten about the four people who were waiting for him. When he saw them, Harry wasn't so sure he appreciated that Snape was helping him, if that was what he was actually doing.
"Where's Draco?" Blaise asked.
"With Snape," Harry answered quietly. "I have to be back to pick him up for dinner."
"Good," Hermione said, grabbing one of Harry's hands.
Pansy grabbed his other hand. "Because we are going to talk."
"But . . .," Harry tried to protest and take his hands back, but the girls weren't letting go and Blaise interrupted.
"No, you're going, Harry," Blaise said. "It's for your own good."
"Ron?" Harry said imploringly, looking for some help.
Ron shrugged. "Sorry, mate. I want to know what the hell is going on, too."
Harry sighed heavily and allowed himself to be pulled along by the two girls. They ended up in the Room of Requirement, neutral territory for the Gryffindors and Slytherins. It was a relaxing room that Ron ended up creating, with a large fireplace and comfortable couches.
Hermione and Pansy finally let go of him and Harry flopped down on one of the couches.
"Can I just take a nap?" Harry asked. He received a chorus of "no" for his answer.
"Although, I must admit you look like you could use one," Hermione said worriedly. "Even after the nap you took in History of Magic this morning."
"And after Snape allowed you to sleep in," Pansy added, still stuck on that fact.
"Did you really have a nightmare last night?" Ron asked anxiously.
"Ron, do you really want me to answer that?" Harry asked irritably.
Ron and Hermione looked at Pansy and Blaise nervously.
"You didn't have a nightmare, did you?" Blaise asked quietly.
"Look, tell me why the four of you dragged me here," Harry snapped. "Because I don't remember the four of you even getting along."
All four of them shifted nervously and looked at Harry warily.
Ron was the one who answered, surprising the others. "I thought you wanted me to get along with the Slytherins. At least them two and Crabbe and Goyle," he said irritably, gesturing towards Pansy and Blaise. "I still don't understand it all, but you made it quite clear that I had to try to get along with them because you weren't about to budge about Draco."
"And we're trying to get along with Granger and Weasley because we know they come as part of the package deal with you," Blaise said quietly.
"I don't care if you all get along or not," Harry snapped. "I just want to be able to take care of Draco. That's it. No hassles, no complications. Why doesn't everyone just leave me alone?"
"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked in concern. "This isn't like you."
"What do you want me to say, Mione?" Harry exploded.
He glared at all of them. "You tell me what isn't wrong? I'm stuck between the Gryffindors who resent me for consorting with the Slytherins and the Slytherins who only tolerate me because of Draco," Harry shouted.
"That's not true," Hermione and Pansy both said quickly, but Harry ignored them.
"It's been a week of this and I kept thinking things were going well, all things considered. But then Snape goes and reminds me I'm just being tolerated because of Draco. And there's a whole lot more going on with him that's got me totally confused," Harry said, his brow furrowing, showing his confusion. He shook his head and his anger took precedence again.
"Then Ron's all jealous and resenting me because I'm spending time with the Slytherins and deserting him. Pansy reminded me that the only reason they're speaking to me and being friendly at all is because of Draco. Draco wants me to wear Slytherin robes sometimes and I actually thought it was a good idea," Harry was shouting out his frustration and anger. "But then, how's that going to look to everyone?"
Harry paused, glaring at the others and not caring that they looked uncomfortable with his yelling. "No one wants me right now," Harry said bitterly. "Draco's the only one who does, but that's only because he doesn't fucking remember anything."
"Harry, what in the world happened last night that's got you thinking like this?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"Once again, do you really want me to answer that?" Harry asked angrily.
Hermione again looked at Blaise and Pansy uncertainly.
"Exactly," Harry snapped. "We've all barely been on friendly terms for a week. I trust them not to say anything, but do you trust them?"
"Well, how can you even trust them?" Hermione asked hesitantly.
"I just do. It's not like they want to go out and actually be little Death Eaters," Harry sneered.
"But you said they're only tolerating you," Ron said angrily. "How can you trust them?"
"Because they're loyal to Draco and Draco's with me," Harry retorted angrily. "They're not going to do or say anything that would harm him."
"Oh," Ron said, the wind taken out of his sails. Obviously something in those words clicked for Ron and Harry rolled his eyes at his friend.
"Harry, we may have started talking to you because of Draco, but I consider you to be my friend now in your own right," Blaise interjected earnestly.
"Me, too," Pansy added quickly. "I've been trying to apologize to you all afternoon. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings at lunchtime."
"Really?" Harry asked, recognizing he was playing Draco's role in the 'really' game.
"Really," Blaise said, quirking a small smile, also recognizing the 'really' game.
"It's all just so confusing," Harry said, dropping his head into his hands. "I'm sorry I got so upset and angry."
"It's all right, mate," Blaise said quietly.
Ron glanced at Pansy and Blaise and nodded to himself, seeming to come to a decision. "You had another vision last night, didn't you?" he asked Harry.
Harry looked up in surprise and whipped his head between Ron and the two Slytherins.
Ron shrugged. "If you can trust them, then I will."
Harry looked at him, bemused by this turn of events. "Who are you and what did you do with Ron?" he asked.
Ron flushed as Pansy and Blaise and even Hermione started snickering. "You just reminded me that friends should be loyal. I've about thrown away your friendship before because I was jealous and didn't trust in things you were telling me. I'm trying really hard not to make that mistake again."
Harry simply stared at him, so Ron cleared his throat and continued. "I know I've been behaving kind of badly this week and I'm sorry. If you say Parkinson and Zabini are all right, then even if I think it's a little strange that you trust them after just a week, I'm going to do my best to believe you."
Then Ron grinned. "Besides, I figure I should probably trust your judgment since I know personally that you've got good taste in friends."
Harry and the others were surprised into laughter.
Hermione was beaming at Ron proudly. "I think you're finally growing up, Ron."
Ron exchanged a glance with Harry and both boys rolled their eyes, then turned and grinned at Hermione. She in turn rolled her eyes at them and their antics.
"Harry kind of inspires loyalty, doesn't he?" Blaise said quietly to Ron and Hermione.
Ron and Hermione both smiled. "Yeah, he's a great guy," Hermione said softly.
"We're beginning to realize that," Pansy said quietly.
Harry was extremely embarrassed, but also pleased. "Thanks. I guess I really needed to hear this today."
"We noticed," Hermione said. "What's going on, Harry? You've been out of sorts and not acting like yourself all afternoon and you missed breakfast this morning, too. Obviously something more is going on."
"Why does there have to be something more?" Harry pouted.
"Because I know you like Pansy and Blaise and from what I understand, you completely overreacted at lunchtime," Hermione said. "You were fine one minute and not the next. We've been going in circles with you all day."
Harry sighed heavily and began explaining—everything. It wasn't long before Harry was sandwiched between Hermione and Pansy as Harry was once again crying as he told them about his guilt and grief over Sirius resurfacing at Voldemort's taunts. His anger at Voldemort and Lucius. His worries for Draco and himself, along with everyone else.
He explained about the vision, consoling Draco, being held by Snape (all of them sworn to absolute secrecy or Snape would kill them all), his confusion over Snape's treatment of him, topped by Pansy's comments at lunchtime.
"Bloody hell, mate," Ron said in amazement when Harry had finally quieted and somewhat composed himself again. "You've got to feel better after getting all that off your chest."
Harry gave him a wan smile. "I suppose. Although I feel a little ridiculous for breaking down—again."
"You've had an overwhelming week," Hermione said knowingly. "The stress was bound to hit you at some point."
Pansy snorted. "Especially since You-Know-Who decided to pay you a personal visit. I'd be bloody terrified and hiding under my bed if it was me and yet here you've been attending classes and at least attempting to pretend like everything was normal."
Hermione, Blaise and Ron were all nodding their heads in agreement. Harry simply shrugged.
"Can we talk about something else now?" Harry asked, tired of going over all that, and just plain tired, physically and emotionally.
"Sure," Pansy said understandingly. "Are you still coming to the Slytherin common room tonight?" she asked.
"Yeah, if it's okay with you. Draco's expecting it now," Harry said.
"It's more than all right with us," Blaise said with a mischievous grin. "Maybe you should wear some of Draco's robes to blend in."
Harry and Pansy began laughing. Harry explained Draco's request to Ron and Hermione. Even Ron ended up supporting the idea. Hermione was surprisingly all for it from the first mention. She said it would be good for school unity and she'd talk to the other Gryffindors later that night to explain it all to them.
Ron and Harry exchanged a glance and grinned. When Hermione got an idea in her head, there wasn't much that was going to stop her. The Gryffindors would likely be supporting Harry in Slytherin robes by curfew, if for no other reason than the fact that Hermione would bully them all.
They all trooped down to the dungeons with Harry to pick up Draco and on the way decided that Harry and Draco should alternate evenings in the two different common rooms like they alternated tables at meal times. It was a decent plan that would keep Harry connected with Gryffindor even as he connected with his new friends in Slytherin.
Harry was quickly regaining his equilibrium. He realized he actually was feeling a lot better. He had two new friends along with his two old friends with him. He'd been able to tell them everything that had been going on with him and they were all understanding and accepting. Even Ron was trusting him and Harry wasn't feeling quite so stuck in the middle anymore.
Yes, Harry thought with a grin, he was actually feeling really good now. He didn't like breaking down in front of them all, but decided that it was worth it.
A/N: Next chapter will span across a fair amount of time and bring us much closer to when Draco will resume his normal age. Just thought I'd mention it because I know many of you are getting anxious to see Draco back as a sixteen-year-old! There will be a lot happening over the next few chapters, and I'll get them out to you as soon as I can. Thanks for reading and for all the wonderful reviews! ~~Biza
Chapter 15: Journal Entries
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
A/N: This chapter is a lot different from the others. It consists entirely of snippets from Harry's journal entries. So, yes, there will be mistakes. Probably not enough mistakes, in the sense that I don't exactly see Harry as particularly concerned about his spelling, grammar and punctuation in his assignments, let alone in a journal meant for his eyes only. *grin*
I didn't really want this to be an exceptionally long fic, (I was already in the middle of Malfoy Flavor while I was initially writing the majority of this), but I had a lot I wanted to happen. This was my solution to spanning across much of the time Draco is a four-year-old. And so you know, yes, the next chapter will go back to the normal style. Hope you enjoy things from a little different perspective for this chapter! ~~Biza
Chapter 15: Journal Entries
September 11
Things seem to be settling into some kind of routine for us. This is the end of the first full week of classes this year and we've survived it somehow. You actually do great in classes. I'm glad you can handle yourself in them because it does make things a whole lot easier, but it also upsets me.
Were you ever a child, Draco?
I have to wonder. A four-year-old should not be so . . . self-possessed? Under control? I can't figure out how to explain it. You're so well behaved and I suppose it's a good thing, but you just seem far too grown up so much of the time.
It bothers me that I have to remind you that it's ok to get dirty. It bothers me that I have to remind you so many times that it's ok to interrupt me when I'm working if you need something or just want me to play with you.
You're learning, but it's the things that a four-year-old should already know. Heh, it's not like I exactly knew these things as a four-year-old either. But you have so much more control over yourself than I ever did. Hell, more control than I have now.
You've been trained so very young that you have to be perfect at all times.
Me? I was trained from the beginning to know that no matter what I did, I'd never even come close to adequate, let alone perfect . . .
September 12
Your stuffed dragon finally got a name today. You named him Wuffle. Why? Good question and one I don't have an answer to. I just know you took forever trying to come up with the perfect name and it ended up being Wuffle.
I gotta admit you're adorable when you're asking where your Wuffle is. But now I'm sleeping with two dragons every night, one of them named Wuffle. When did my life get so strange . . .
September 13
Oh gods, Draco! This just had to be the best day ever since we got back to school. I took you out flying today. It felt incredible to be back on a broom again! For you, too. I took you up with me, and you had a blast.
You want to know what else was awe inspiring? As a four-year-old, you showed complete and total trust in me. I don't think you were ever scared once up there in the air. Despite all the crazy stunts I was pulling.
Snape would absolutely kill me actually, if he'd seen me up there with you. We spent hours in the air and by the time we came down again, I could even pull off the Wronski Feint with you on the broom. Heh, kind of scary even for me to be thinking about it now.
But neither of us was scared up there and we'll have to do it more often. Think I can get away with taking you to practices with me once they start up? After today I think I can probably get away with it . . .
September 15
I can't believe I actually wore Slytherin robes around the school. I think I've got everybody in this school a little bit confused. Hell, I'm confused. I don't particularly care for being the center of attention all the time, but I guess I'm kinda getting used to it.
It's strange though. I'm going around school with this cute little boy (yes, you!) and I seem to have everyone's support there. I think I'm not the only one that has trouble resisting your four-year-old charms! But then, here I am, Harry Potter, the Gryffindor Golden Boy, hanging around the Slytherin dorms every other night.
A lot of students have been pretty supportive, but I'm not stupid. And no, I don't feel like hearing you tell me otherwise, even if it is just in my head. Anyway, I know a lot of other students are simply afraid of me again. But what am I supposed to do about it?
In some ways it didn't help that I accidentally performed those bursts of magic. It made some of the students afraid of me. But then, I think a lot of them are seeing it as a good thing. If I can produce magical displays like that, then maybe I will actually be able to defeat Voldemort. Or else turn into the next Dark Lord myself. Like I said, I've got everyone confused.
I know what I'm writing sure sounds confused, but I can't help it. There's just been so much going on with me the last couple of weeks.
It's even more odd because I've got your old henchmen protecting me almost all the time. Whoever would have thought I'd have Crabbe and Goyle following me around everywhere—and not wanting to beat me into a bloody pulp? I really like them, but sure as hell wouldn't have expected to see me ever being friends with them. I think they're a little bemused by this new friendship too . . .
September 16
Snape is driving me fucking nuts!! Argh! I swear some nights that I don't need Voldemort trying to kill me, because Snape's just going to do it for him. Almost every fucking night after you go to bed, I end up training with Snape for at least an hour or two. Have I told you that already? I can't remember.
Honestly, my brain's feeling a bit addled tonight after Snape's been fucking with it. And no, right now I don't feel like hearing that I was already addled to start with.
I fucking hate Occlumency training with a passion. The man's going to kill me with it. I suppose I should be thankful he actually started out the training this year by actually giving me some more information about how to actually go about it. How to clear my mind instead of just ordering me to do it. Course, I'm still getting that order, too.
About 20 minutes ago I got the order to clear my mind and go to bed. I just know I can't sleep yet. It always leaves me feeling at least a little shaky when he spends an hour or so breaking into my mind, and tonight was even harsher than normal. I'm feeling kind of worked up and need to calm down.
So, what all can I tell you about what you did today . . .
September 19
I talked to Colin Creevey finally today. I know, I don't want to hear it. If I didn't want the pictures so bad, I never would have approached him. Even so, it took me this long.
He's going to take pictures for me and I gave him the money so he could owl order me my own camera and show me how to work it.
Don't worry! He's under death threats if any of the pictures get out.
But I want the pictures. I don't know. Maybe you'll laugh at me. A lot of people up in Gryffindor were already teasing me. But see, there were never any pictures taken of me when I was growing up so it's kind of important to me . . .
September 22
I finally took you up to the owlery today. You absolutely loved it! You've sure hidden well your love for creatures over the years. It's hard for me to associate the grief you put Hagrid through over Buckbeak, with the same little boy who was enchanted with all the owls today.
It makes me wonder and worry what all else your father has done to you over the years. How much of you is simply a reflection of your father's views? How much of this sweet, loving, four-year-old boy is still inside you now?
I suspect that there's actually still a lot of sweetness and loving inside you. See, I was kind of wondering about it already this summer. You'll probably be shocked to know that I spent a lot of time thinking about you. Gods, it's not like I had anything else to do anyway, what with staying with the Dursleys. But that's another story for another day.
Anyway, I thought about you a lot. Um, already I'm kind of thinking twice about actually sharing this journal with you. I may have to kind of take a bunch of things out first.
Because, you see, well, it kind of started because I was trying to sort out my sexuality. Gods, I can hear you snorting in amusement in my head. I'm sure that you'll find this whole story quite amusing.
Things didn't exactly work out well with Cho last year. And it's kind of hard to say I'm into girls when the best I could say about her kiss was that it was wet. That's it. Wet. So, I thought about that this summer. Then I tried to figure out why that's all I got out of kissing her. Was it just her? Was it me? At some point it crossed my mind that maybe I just wasn't into girls at all.
So then I started thinking about boys. You'll be quite shocked to know that my thoughts led me to realize that I find you highly attractive. Gods, you're absolutely gorgeous, Draco! Not that *that* is news to you because you're also a bloody vain git!
Well, you can imagine the angst I went through when I realized I was attracted to my bitter rival of the last five years. I wasn't exactly pleased at first, and I spent a lot of time telling myself all the reasons why I couldn't be attracted to you. Somewhere along the line my thoughts kind of shifted and I started trying to figure out the reasons why I *could* be attracted to you.
I'm afraid I kind of psychoanalyzed you this summer. I kind of doubt you'll be pleased to hear that. But it's what I did. I tried to figure out what made you tick. I went back over all our encounters over the years. Even before all the revelations over the last couple of weeks, I realized that your father has played a huge role in your life.
Maybe I'm totally way off base. Maybe I just rationalized because I'm attracted to you. I don't know. But I ended up deciding that you don't show the world the real Draco Malfoy. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out that you hide behind a bunch of masks. Not once I allowed myself to think about it anyway. Which I hadn't done the last five years.
But this summer I did. You've been hiding, Draco. Even before I got back to Hogwarts I'd decided that you weren't really the little Death Eater wannabe that I'd always thought you were. Heh, I guess you've hidden yourself fairly well over the years. At least from me.
You spouting off all the time about your father, touting his worth at every turn. You had me convinced. But when I thought about it, something seemed off about it all. I couldn't be sure what exactly, although I know at least part of it now. But you're just not like your father, Draco.
I'm not saying you can't be a bastard when you want to be! But even your worst stunts over the years aren't cruel and sadistic like your father. And remember, I've met your father before. Met him in a graveyard once even. No, I don't want to think about that.
Gods, I don't actually want to talk about your father at all. How did I get on this topic anyway? Oh yeah, because I think you wear this mask of your father's but it doesn't fit you so well. Geez, that sounds kind of corny, even if it does make sense to me.
I don't know, Draco. I guess, I just tried to put myself in your shoes. Not even knowing about the abuse he's put you through, I could still see him instilling all his aristocratic attitudes in you and trying to control you like a puppet. You've had so little personality of your own. That probably sounds cruel. Well, maybe not.
I can see you trying to win your father's approval. I'd have done the same thing in your shoes. Hell, I try to win people's approval all the time. I don't want to think about Sirius. Anyway, I can see if he was my father, I'd try to be like him, try to make him proud, try not to disappoint him.
Unfortunately I just can't see you making your father proud. Not because of anything you've done or not done. Just because your father could care less about anybody but himself. He's Voldemort's right hand man and somewhere a long time ago he lost his heart.
His loss. Because you're highly intelligent, you're fabulous on a broomstick, you're a leader and inspire loyalty in your friends. I think you've got a wicked sense of humor, if you just weren't using it to put me or my friends down all the time. Imagine how funny you could be without the insult factor. I've also seen you lay on the charm with people. Not with me, of course. But you can be very charming.
I'm sure it'll surprise you to know that I came back to Hogwarts this year with the intention of trying to get to know you better. To try to be friends with you. Not that anyone would likely believe that. Well, they might believe it now, considering how vehement I was about taking care of you from the beginning.
Heh, the strange twists my life tends to take . . .
September 28
You'd be impressed with Ron. Well, ok, maybe you wouldn't be. It's just that he's really working hard to tear down some of his old prejudices. I actually saw Ron talking with some other Slytherins today—not Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe or Goyle. I know at first he was just trying to do his best not to be insulting to Slytherins because of me. But he really seems to be changing his attitude on a deeper level now. I don't think he believes all Slytherins are evil bastards anymore.
It's odd that Ron and the rest of us seem to be growing up a little when you've gone so far backwards on the growing up scale. You've helped change far more than you ever expected with this little de-aging scheme of yours.
Oh, I haven't told you about all my theories regarding your *potions accident, have I? I told them to Snape and Dumbledore the day after the accident. At the time Snape said he was willing to admit that I was probably the best possible caregiver for his godson because I seemed to have a far better understanding of you than he ever would have expected from me.
So you want to hear about my theories of why you did this? Whether you want to hear them or not, I'll tell you, because I don't feel like working on my Charms assignment at the moment . . .
September 30
You want to know something? I think I've finally got Occlumency down. Three weeks of intense training every night might have something to do with that fact. Two nights in a row now, Snape hasn't been able to get past my mental shields. Not once.
I'm afraid to jinx myself, but I haven't heard from Voldemort in over a week. Planted vision or otherwise. I hope to hell he can't actually get to me anymore. At least not intentionally.
Believe it or not, I do hope that I can still get the visions of the Death Eater meetings and stuff. Not that I want to see them, but we need to be able to know what's going on.
I'm a little worried too, because Voldemort's been quiet lately. If he thinks I can't see him anymore and can't hear his plans, will he start doing more again? Gods, I hope not.
October 2
It was a Gryffindor night for us. You had a blast! Ok, so I think almost everyone in Gryffindor tower had a blast! Being as it's a Friday night we got a lot of people involved. No one cared really about getting assignments done and they liked having something different to do. Even Mione got involved. Heh, this is probably just going to reinforce your ideas that Gryffindors are immature, but oh well.
Anyway, I had the house elves help us take every single last block you own up to the tower. Mione did some kind of complicated, temporary, duplicating transfiguration spell or something. I don't understand what she did exactly, but we ended up with even more blocks for the night.
More and more people got involved in the building. At one point we had a huge lion built. But then that got taken apart and everyone started working on pieces of this huge medieval castle. Of course you helped me build dragons for it!
It's odd sometimes when I let myself think about the fact that you're fitting in so well with the Gryffindors. Of course, it's not the same at all, but . . .
October 10
Ha, ha to you! You can't say it's just Gryffindors who are immature now! Your adorable little self managed to sweet talk the Slytherins into a block party like we had in Gryffindor last Friday. Of course, I might have influenced them a bit when I said that Slytherins probably just weren't capable of being as creative as the Gryffindors.
Admittedly it took longer for some of the Slytherins to get involved, but more of them ended up helping us build than I would have expected at first. It was nice seeing the Slytherins do something a little silly just for fun.
How many of your fellow Slytherins have grown up not being allowed to do things like that? I'm afraid to ask Blaise, even though I know he'll tell me . . .
October 13
You know what, Draco? I miss you. Everyone would think I was nuts for saying it, but I do. Not that I don't love you as a four-year-old, but I miss seeing you around school. School doesn't seem the same without you around this year.
Well, that's not exactly true because you are around and everything is actually totally out of whack around here because of you. I'm smiling because I know you'll be pleased that you've had such an impact and stirred everything up this year . . .
October 17
Did I say Snape and I were getting along? I lied! He's just trying to lure me in by being civil and then he's going to kill me off. Or he's just trying to see how slowly he can kill me. Maybe it's just that he likes to torture me. I know, nothing new there.
Argh! He just drives me fucking nuts! He drives me so crazy. Middle of the night after a vision and he's gentle, he holds me and takes care of me. Then he turns around and insults and belittles me at every turn.
Hermione and Pansy seem to agree that he's just compensating because he doesn't know how to handle emotions well. They say if I'm patient, he'll come around eventually.
Ha! The man will always be a damn snarky bastard. I don't expect him to always be perfectly nice. I just don't like it when I feel like he's completely turned on me and when he treats me worse than he did before even . . .
October 19
Yeah, it was our first Hogsmeade weekend. I've been wanting to take you there since you first reverted to a four-year-old. It was fun for awhile, but oh gods, you won't believe how stupid I was. We picked out tons and tons of the different candies at Honeydukes. Not so stupid an idea. But letting you eat that candy to your heart's content? That was the stupidest thing I've done for awhile.
I never thought I'd see Draco Malfoy, at any age, literally bouncing off the bloody walls.
Admittedly you did a great job entertaining our friends for a long time. They thought your antics were hilarious and the bloody gits thought it was quite comical watching me try to chase you down. Not a one of them would help me. Too busy rolling around on the floor laughing at me. What kind of friends are they anyway? Yes, I'm sulking. And I don't care . . .
October 21
I'm so sick and tired of training. Almost every single fucking night Snape is training me in something or other. Did you know Snape has another room in his quarters? I mean, we know there's our room and his bedroom, a couple bathrooms, the sitting room with the little side kitchen, and his little office he has for working here.
I think that little office got put there after we arrived here, too. So he could work close by and keep an eye on us.
Anyway, I think bloody Dumbledore added this other room to Snape's quarters and it's become my fucking training room. Can you tell how excited I am about it?
I shouldn't really be complaining. I know I need the training. I think I might have even asked for it. Although at the moment I'm having trouble remembering why I would've asked for extra training from Snape. The man is bloody ruthless with me. I sure as hell don't ever get any mercy.
Alright, I admit I'm learning a lot though. I can certainly control my magic a whole lot better. He's even been doing a little bit of wandless training with me. But I don't feel nowhere near being able to defeat Voldemort. How will I ever be able to vanquish him like I'm supposed to . . .
October 26
We watched the Slytherin/Ravenclaw Quidditch game today. Slytherin won! Do you know how bloody weird it was to be sitting in the Slytherin stands cheering for Slytherin? I can just hear you laughing your arse off about that.
Blaise has taken your place on the team for now. He does alright and he did catch the Snitch today. But he's just not nearly as good as you are, and if it wasn't for the fact that Ravenclaw's new Seeker is so lousy, I'm not sure Slytherin would have won. Blaise even admitted to me that he'll be glad when you're back.
I'm really glad Slytherin doesn't play Gryffindor until the spring. It wouldn't seem right playing against someone else. Um, well, I don't know if I actually want to play against you now or not, come to think of it. You get right ticked at me for beating you and I'm really hoping we don't go back to the whole rivalry thing.
I don't care if playing you is the only real challenge I get playing Seeker. I'd rather be friends, or . . .
October 27
How upset would you actually be if I said I wanted to be so much more than friends with you? Bloody hell, I don't know if you'll even want to be friends.
I think it's going to be one hell of a rude awakening for you when you're back to being 16. I don't know if you'll be willing to give me a chance of at least being friends or if you're just going to hate me even more.
It would probably totally freak you out if I told you that I think I'm actually falling in love with you. Not the four-year-old you, but the sixteen-year-old you.
I talk to you every day. It wasn't my intention when I started this journal, and I'm going to have to figure out how to make a copy and take out all the parts like this before I give it to you. I'm thinking during Christmas break when I have more time, I'll redo it so I can give you a record of your second childhood.
I think it'll make a nice Christmas present, along with a scrapbook of all the pictures that have been taken. By the time Christmas gets here you'll only have a short time left as a four-year-old. The journal and scrapbook is something that I think you'll appreciate at both ages.
Of course, like I said, I still have to figure out how to take out all these incriminating parts. I suppose it'd be a whole lot easier if I just didn't write them or if I started another journal or something. But no one ever accused me of doing things the easy way.
I've just gotten quite comfortable talking to you this way. I know it's probably stupid, but I can't seem to stop myself now. Maybe I'm not really falling in love with you. Maybe I'm just falling in love with some idealized version of you that I've created in my mind.
Heh, not that I've exactly got this idealized image of you. I know perfectly well that even if you didn't have your father hanging over your shoulder you'd still be a vain git who could be a real obnoxious prat at times.
I've listened to Pansy and Blaise especially as they've talked about you. You've let your guard down around your friends. They, along with Crabbe and Goyle, seem to know more about the real you than anyone else.
I admit, I shamelessly listen in as they tell the four-year-old you about yourself. You're a lot nicer than you show the world, but you can still be a real prick sometimes. Of course, those stories are usually the ones Blaise tells me on the side. You're going to be so angry with Blaise, too!
October 29
Sometimes I wonder how I get all my assignments done. I never get enough sleep, training sessions every night, all the time I spend with you and our friends. Hell, all the time I spend writing in this journal.
You know what finally hit me? I haven't had a detention this year. Not a single one. Detentions used to take up a lot of my time, and now I haven't had any. Of course, you could consider it like I've got almost a permanent detention until January. But still . . .
October 31
You should have seen your eyes tonight, angel. You were absolutely enchanted with the Halloween feast. I've got pictures and can't wait to see how they turn out. You loved every minute of the celebration tonight.
Well, except for when I told you that you had to limit how much candy you ate. You looked disappointed for just a minute until you got caught up in all the excitement again. Of course, I got a lot of teasing about the bloody candy. Never, ever again.
You could've been kicking, screaming and throwing a royal tantrum and I wouldn't have given in on that one. Not that you do that kind of thing. Seems you didn't become a spoiled brat until later years!
You've still got as much of a sweet tooth though. Crabbe and Goyle told me where you would hide your secret stash of chocolate and sweets in your dorm. Before I started writing tonight I searched the secret compartment in your trunk. Oh gods, Draco! I can't believe all the sweets you've got stashed away. I'm just thanking Merlin that you don't remember that compartment or I'd never keep you down . . .
November 1
Last night was bad. Really bad. Seems Halloween really is a bad day for me. Although it was a whole lot worse for others. I had a vision. A bad one. Voldemort decided to send his followers on a last minute raid. Snape somehow managed to pull me out of it about halfway through and we were able to inform Dumbledore, who then got the Order and the Aurors sent.
I'm told they managed to save a lot of lives. But they couldn't save all of them. I haven't been able to stop shaking all day. Everyone keeps telling me it wasn't my fault. My vision actually helped, they keep saying.
So what? People still died. I know because I was forced to watch them die. It was horrible, Draco.
Sorry, got to go. Snape says I have five minutes and if I haven't drank the Dreamless Sleep potion by then he's going to force it down my throat himself . . .
November 10
I'm feeling pretty good today. Things are going better. Maybe I'm just handling things better. I don't know. I do know that I wouldn't be doing so well if it wasn't for you. Our friends have been supportive and even Snape's been supportive in his own way.
But if it wasn't for you . . . As I know you can tell from everything I've written the last week, I've been able to work through a lot of it. When I go back cutting things out of this journal for you I should probably cut out all the graphic details of that vision though. But writing about it helped me . . . kind of get it out of my system.
I've desperately needed to talk to you this week. The journal has helped. I wish you were really here though. I wish you could talk back. I wish you could wrap your arms around me and just hold me. I wish for a lot of things that'll probably never happen.
At least I've had your four-year-old self here to give me regular hugs. And I've needed and appreciated every single one of them. I've had to try to pull myself together for your sake. It's been hard but I've been doing it.
I suppose part of the reason I'm feeling so much better today is because after the vision I had about that Death Eater meeting a couple nights ago, the Aurors and Order members were able to prevent another raid. Snape just informed me a little while ago that no one was hurt and they were even able to capture some of the Death Eaters . . .
November 14
I had a really relaxing time tonight. While you were off playing cars with Blaise, I spent the whole time just talking with Crabbe and Goyle. And they actually talked the whole time. It's hard getting them to speak up sometimes. Geez, Draco, you've had well trained thugs all these years. Trained to take orders but keep quiet otherwise.
I've learned that they've always been extra quiet, but don't you think you could have encouraged them to speak up for themselves at least once in awhile? At least now I know that you've always stuck up for them.
This is one of those days when I can't decide to be totally irritated with your behavior or really pleased . . .
November 26
Do you realize that we've actually had an entire week without nightmares? For either one of us? Wow, it's amazing to have some normal sleep.
I'm so happy for you. You've come a long ways the last three months. Hard to believe it's been that long already. I'm afraid to think about what's going to happen a little over a month from now.
I want you back to normal, but then I'm going to miss you this way. And then I'm scared that you'll hate me again.
And what about Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle? If you hate me again, will they still be my friends? Their loyalty is to you first, Draco, and I've always known that. I'm scared I'm going to lose it all . . .
November 30
I'm such an idiot! You agree? Good, because I am. We were all up in the Room of Requirement hanging out today. I'm still the only Gryffindor allowed in the Slytherin dorms and you're still the only Slytherin allowed into Gryffindor, so when we all want to meet up we go to the Room of Requirement like we did today. It's a Saturday and we all took a little time off from studying for the exams that'll be coming up soon.
Yeah, I know I'm stalling. I know you already know about our meeting place. I think I even told you about studying for exams.
Oh, fuck! I let it slip, Draco. They all know now. Our friends all know that I'm gay. They all know that I love you. How could I be so stupid to tell them?
Everyone just got to talking about girls and boys and sex and somehow I let it slip. I didn't want to tell them. I didn't want anyone to know. I'm sure they must all be disgusted with me right now.
Um, I actually don't know for sure. See, I kind of shocked them all, and while they were all still staring at me speechless, I ran. Times like this, it's really nice rooming in Snape's quarters where none of our friends can reach me. Things have been going so good lately, too. Why'd I have to be so stupid . . .
December 1
Still think I'm an idiot? Good, because I do, too. Snape forced me to go to lunch where I had to face everyone and they dragged me back up to the Room of Requirement, where I promptly got told off for not having more faith in my friends.
Although I guess my fears had some merit, because from what I understand Hermione spent hours talking to Ron about it all last night. He didn't have a problem with me being gay I don't think, but he thinks I'm a bloody fool for falling in love with you.
Maybe I am. I still don't know what's going to happen a month from now . . .
December 4
I can't believe how much things have changed between me and Snape. Can you believe he actually said today that I can call him Severus when we're in his chambers? Course, I call him Severus half the time here anyway, but that's only because of your younger self. It's different now.
He seems to have gotten over whatever issues and his ambivalences towards me. Maybe I've just been able to finally prove myself to him. I think he might even actually respect me now. We've been getting along better and better as time has wore on, and it's actually kind of nice now.
He finally asked me about this journal today. I guess because I felt comfortable enough to actually bring it out into the sitting room to write for once. Normally, I only keep it in our room and never write anywhere else. In fact, only you and Snape even know that I write in it.
He gave me that damnable quirked eyebrow look when I told him I'd been writing to you since the beginning of the year, but he seemed to think it was a good idea when I told him I was going to rework it over holidays so I could give it to you for Christmas.
Most of the time things are pretty peaceable with Snape now. He definitely still has his moods though and training sessions still absolutely suck . . .
December 6
Do you know how adorable you are, Draco? No matter what happens next month, I'm still always going to have this time with you as my little angel. That fact alone is probably enough to make you want to gag, but I don't care.
I love bedtime. When you're in your footie pajamas and all sweet smelling from the bath. You and Wuffle snuggle up with me under your soft blanket and we read quietly. You're just so adorable and sweet and innocent.
It's a little bittersweet though. I'd be even happier, I think, if you were back to normal and you were wearing some of your silk pajamas all snuggled up in bed with me. Actually, you can just leave off the silk pajamas.
I don't know if Blaise was trying to do me a favor or if he was trying to torture me, but he finally told me you had a photo album in one of your trunks. Let's just say I found the pictures. It's not like you're naked in them or anything, but oh gods, Draco. Do you know how hot you are? Yeah, I know, we've already long established the fact that you know.
I've been picturing you in my mind, but it was still quite a slam to see those photos. I still miss you, you bloody git . . .
December 7
I don't know why I didn't think to ask for pictures of you earlier. You're fascinated with pictures of yourself. Ha! No big surprise there! Actually I just meant the four-year-old you is fascinated with what you'll look like at 16.
Merlin, I'm getting tired of referring to you as two different people almost. You're the same and yet not the same and it's getting bloody confusing sometimes.
I think you're becoming a little anxious about turning back, too. It's both a good and a bad feeling and it's coming closer to the time . . .
Chapter 16: An Unwanted Vision
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 16: An Unwanted Vision
"Morning, Draco," Harry said cheerfully.
"Morning, Harry," Draco said, giving Harry his sweetest smile.
"Come on and let's get ready for the day," Harry said. "This is the last week of classes, which is mostly exams that won't be fun for me, but then it'll be the holidays!"
"It'll be almost Christmas?" Draco asked hopefully.
"Yep! And this will be my best Christmas ever," Harry declared.
"Really?" Draco asked.
Harry grinned. "Yes, really."
They finished getting ready, talking about what all they were going to do over the holidays. Their discussion continued as they made their way up to the Great Hall and began eating breakfast.
"Will you guys be staying here for the holidays this year?" Harry asked his Slytherin friends.
They all nodded. "Yeah, we decided a long time ago that we didn't want to miss out on when Draco turns back into a teenager again," Blaise said, smirking at Harry.
"Besides, we didn't want to leave you two here alone over the holidays," Pansy said, smiling warmly.
Harry winked at Draco. "At least we'd have each other, right, angel?"
"Right, Harry," Draco said, grinning. "We're going to have the best Christmas! Harry said so."
"Did he now?" Blaise asked.
"Hey," Harry said defensively. "I never got Christmas as a kid so I'm very much planning on living vicariously through Draco this year."
They all smiled at him a bit sadly. "Oh, come on," Harry protested. "We're trying to be happy here."
"Yeah, I want to talk about presents," Draco piped up, causing the group to break out into laughter.
Lunchtime brought about the same general discussion at the Gryffindor table.
"Are you guys staying here for the holidays?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, Mum says we can stay here this year," Ron said.
"You don't have to stay here just because of me," Harry protested.
Ron and Hermione both looked a little uncomfortable. "We're just a little worried about how things will go at the end of the holidays and we don't want you to be alone, just in case it doesn't go well," Hermione admitted quietly.
Harry sighed and looked down at Draco. "Yeah, I'm kind of a little worried, too. I'm glad you guys are staying." Then Harry perked up. "Besides, we've got lots that we're planning to do over the holidays. Right, Draco?"
"Yeah, Harry says this will be the best Christmas ever!" Draco said excitedly. It wasn't long before they had launched into a discussion about all they'd be doing and all the presents Draco wanted.
It wasn't until Potions class that afternoon when things began to fall apart. Their exam would be on Friday. Of course, Snape would wait until the last class of the last day before holidays to give it to them. For today, they were doing review.
In the middle of class, however, Harry suddenly collapsed, screaming in pain and clutching desperately at his scar.
"Everybody out of this room within the next thirty seconds," Snape bellowed. He didn't question when Harry's four friends stayed, Draco now clutching at Pansy fearfully.
Snape bodily picked Harry up, holding tightly to Harry's thrashing form. "Granger, get the Headmaster immediately and bring him to my quarters," he ordered. "I have the feeling he will be needed," Snape muttered.
His narrowed eyes took in the fearful and worried looks of the three remaining students. "Come with me," he commanded.
Snape carried Harry down the corridors to his quarters, continuing through until he placed the still screaming and thrashing boy on his bed. "Weasley, Zabini, hold him still so that he doesn't hurt himself," Snape commanded before he swept out of the room. The two boys jumped to comply, each of them holding onto one of Harry's arms and pinning him to the bed.
Snape returned almost immediately with several potion vials in hand. It wasn't long after that when Hermione and Dumbledore arrived through the Floo. Everyone watched worriedly as Snape shooed them all aside and sat beside Harry on the bed, holding his arms with just enough pressure so that Harry wasn't hurting himself.
Although still extremely concerned about Harry, they all watched wide-eyed with surprise and wonder to see the dour Potions professor caring so gently for Harry. Snape seemed to expect Harry's need to retch as he came out of his vision. After cleaning him, dosing him with potions, and settling him back into the pillows, Snape gestured for Pansy to let Draco go.
In a flash, the little boy had raced to the bed and Snape lifted him and placed him in Harry's arms. Despite not exactly feeling coherent yet, Harry wrapped his arms tightly around the little boy.
"Oh, Draco, we're in trouble," Harry whispered hoarsely.
"Harry," Snape said his name, commanding his attention.
Harry finally glanced up and truly focused on his surroundings. His eyes grew round as he took in the audience that they had. Harry licked his lips nervously, but focused back on Snape.
"We've got trouble, Severus," Harry said, unconsciously using Snape's given name in the room where he was allowed to, despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to use it around others.
"What did you see, Harry?" Snape asked.
Dumbledore didn't seem to be overly fazed by the interaction between Snape and Harry, but Hermione, Pansy, Blaise and Ron were torn between shock and worry. They'd heard about Snape being gentle and showing concern. That didn't mean they'd witnessed it and truly comprehended before. Unfortunately, Harry's next words would drive all of their shock about Harry and Snape to the far recesses of their minds.
"They're all free," Harry said quietly. His eyes flicked briefly to the blond head before focusing on Snape again. "Even him. The Dementors have sided with Voldemort only in the sense that they released his followers."
Gasps could be heard as everyone suddenly understood exactly what Harry meant.
Snape's obsidian gaze took on a new intensity and fury, but Harry didn't flinch. "When, Harry? Now?"
Harry simply nodded, then turned to Dumbledore. "The guards . . . I'm not sure you can do much now, but you should send the Aurors. No one knows yet, as far as I know."
Dumbledore nodded gravely at Harry but addressed Snape. "Severus, I will meet you shortly in my office."
Snape didn't bother responding to Dumbledore before he left, speaking to Harry instead. "I will leave you here with your friends. Stay here until I return."
"Yes, Severus," Harry said quietly.
Snape stood and faced the four teenagers still standing, looking unsure, worried and downright terrified. "Watch them," Snape commanded, before he billowed out of the room, not bothering to get a response from them.
"Harry?" Draco's small voice asked worriedly. "You're shaking."
"I'm sorry, angel. I can't seem to stop," Harry said, his voice sounding shaky as well.
Hermione moved to step forward, but both Ron and Blaise held a hand out to stop her. She turned to look at them questioningly and they just shook their heads. She frowned but stopped to watch the two boys sitting on the bed. Pansy had frowned at Ron and Blaise's actions, too, but followed their lead—of doing absolutely nothing.
Ron and Blaise had both witnessed a couple of Harry's and Draco's talks after nightmares or visions. They knew that Harry wanted to reassure Draco first, if possible, and he wasn't ready to deal with the rest of them yet.
"It's all right, Harry," Draco said, lifting his little hand up to touch Harry's cheek.
Harry tried a smile, but it trembled badly. He wondered if he needed Snape back more than he'd realized even. Harry closed his eyes.
Focus on Draco. Deep breath. Focus on Draco. Calm down. Focus on Draco. Nothing you can do. Deep breath.
"Harry?" Draco said anxiously, tugging at Harry's robes.
Harry was still trembling, but not nearly as violently as he had been. "Yes, angel?"
"Would it help if you held Wuffle?" Draco asked.
This time Harry managed a better smile. "I'm sure it would. Where is Wuffle anyway?"
Draco twisted in Harry's arms and snatched Wuffle from the pillows behind him. Harry relaxed back into the pillows, snuggling with Draco and Wuffle.
"All we need now is our blanket," Harry said, smiling softly.
Hermione was closest and she snagged it from the end of the bed immediately and tucked them both in. As she did so, she gave them both a kiss on the forehead. Then she stepped back, without ever having said a word, but smiling gently at them both.
"Harry?" Draco whispered.
Harry grinned, pretty sure of what was coming. He noticed Ron and Hermione grinning, too. They obviously remembered that first night in Gryffindor tower, too.
"Yes, angel?" Harry asked.
"Mione kissed us on our foreheads," Draco whispered.
"I know," Harry whispered back. "Remember? She does those kinds of things sometimes."
"But Harry, it's not bedtime," Draco protested in confusion. "Is it?"
Harry sighed, again he was fairly certain of what would be coming next. "No, it's not bedtime."
"You weren't sleeping, Harry. How could you have a nightmare if you weren't sleeping first?" Draco asked, his little brow furrowed in confusion.
How was Harry to keep Draco from worrying about nightmares hitting him even when he was awake? How was he to keep Draco from getting scared?
"You're right. It wasn't really a nightmare," Harry said, frowning thoughtfully. "It was more like . . . all these bad memories hit me in the head at once, even though I was awake."
"Can that happen to me, too?" Draco asked fearfully.
"Oh no," Harry said, shaking his head, wincing a little as he did so.
"Your head still hurts," Draco said knowingly. Unfortunately, they'd been through this part of the routine too many times. Only usually Snape was there and it was the middle of the night.
"Do you know what Severus gave me?" Harry asked Draco.
Much to their friends' surprise, Draco perked up importantly. "He only gave you one blue one—the pain one. And then he gave you the purple one for your tummy and he gave you one of the dark green ones for your body."
"The muscle relaxant," Harry muttered. "I must have been worse than I realized even."
"It was bad this time, Harry," Draco said sorrowfully.
Harry sighed heavily. "Can you run and get me another blue one, please?"
Draco immediately went scrambling. The others parted in surprise, getting out of the way of the little boy on a mission.
"All the Death Eaters are free from Azkaban now," Harry said abruptly, knowing Draco would be right back. "All the guards are dead."
" All of them?" Ron asked, voicing their horror.
Harry wasn't sure if he was referring to all of the Death Eaters or all of the guards, but either way it didn't matter. Harry simply nodded.
"Why don't you guys have a seat?" Harry invited. "You don't have to just stand there."
They all moved to sit down as Draco came running back in, clutching the little blue potion vial tightly in both hands. Proudly, he handed it to Harry before scrambling back up onto the bed and Harry's lap. Harry double-checked the label and quickly downed the pain reliever. It was a double dose kind of day.
"Thank you, angel," Harry said softly.
"You're welcome," Draco said, grinning brightly, proud and happy he could do something for Harry.
Harry grinned back. "Severus has taught you well."
Draco slowly lost his grin as his thoughts once again turned to Harry's nightmare that wasn't a nightmare. "You weren't asleep," he said in bemusement.
"Draco, what happened to me can't happen to you, or anyone else for that matter," Harry said firmly.
"Then how come it happened to you?" Draco wanted to know.
Harry wanted to know the answer to that question himself actually, but that was far beyond anyone's abilities to answer in the fullest sense.
"Um, well, because there's just something a little different about me," Harry said slowly, grimacing slightly, knowing that wasn't a good answer. Then it came to him what his answer really was for Draco, and he was feeling stupid for not having thought of it already.
Harry looked at Draco confidently. "See, I got hit with a really bad spell a long time ago and no one's been able to figure out a counter spell for it yet," Harry explained. He didn't like lying to Draco, but he didn't have a problem with fudging the truth a bit.
"Like my potion Sev'rus is making for me that's taking so long?" Draco asked.
"Exactly," Harry said. "Sometimes it can take a long time to come up with a solution when something goes wrong."
"Is Sev'rus working on something to make you better, too?" Draco asked curiously.
"Um, kind of," Harry said, smiling ruefully and thinking about all his damned training sessions with the man. "He works on it almost every night."
"Well, then you'll be all better then," Draco said brightly.
Harry's smile was sad. "I hope so, angel. It just gets a little frustrating sometimes that it takes so long."
Draco's brow furrowed yet again. "So, the bad spell gives you nightmares when you're awake?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much what happened today," Harry said fairly truthfully. Of course, there was also a lot more to it, but he wasn't about to tell Draco that. "So see, I'll be fine like always. I just didn't like the nightmare and it makes me feel a little scared still."
"But you'll talk to Sev'rus?" Draco asked.
That was the deal they'd made somewhere along the line. You had to tell your nightmares to someone older. Draco told his to Harry and Harry promised to tell his to Severus.
"Yes, I'll tell him later when he's back," Harry promised.
"Good," Draco said, feeling reassured now. Things were pretty much as they should be. It bothered the hell out of Harry sometimes that Draco took all this nightmare business as normal, but then, unfortunately it was normal for them.
Draco yawned widely.
Harry smiled softly. "It may not be bedtime, but maybe you feel like taking a little nap at least?"
Draco nodded. "I'm supposed to go back to sleep when you're all right again," he said sleepily, snuggling deeper into Harry's arms.
Harry held him and was once again saddened because what Draco had said was true. That was the routine for them. A few short minutes later Blaise was moving back the blankets on the bed and helping Harry to tuck Draco in with Wuffle still clutched tightly in his arms.
Harry sighed wearily and slid out of bed, snagging Draco's soft, fluffy blanket as he went. He wasn't sure if it was his or Draco's security blanket anymore. He curled up in one of the armchairs, wrapping the blanket around him tightly. He was actually wishing that Severus was back already.
Instead, he waited until Blaise was seated again with the others and cast a Silencing spell on their half of the room. Draco wouldn't be able to hear them and they wouldn't wake him, but Harry would be able to hear Draco if need be.
"You know, this is the first time any of us have actually seen your room," Blaise said, not wanting to jump right into the disturbing conversation yet.
Harry smiled softly, appreciating the attempt at helping him to relax, even though it would all be shot to hell in a few minutes anyway.
"I like mine and Draco's room," Harry spoke softly, smiling sadly. "I feel . . . safe here. It's actually the closest I've ever felt like I had a real home." He shrugged uncomfortably, feeling like he'd said too much.
But then, his friends, new and old, knew him well and understood. "You've got everything here," Ron said, sounding impressed. "Sure beats our dorm."
Harry chuckled lightly and Ron beamed at getting such a positive response from Harry.
"You're just jealous because we've got toys here and you don't," Harry said lightly.
All of them were laughing now, the mood lightened considerably. Something they'd all needed. They talked lightly for a bit, but then once again silence descended upon the group.
They were all gazing worriedly at Harry, dark shadows flitting across his features.
"Do you want to talk about it now, Harry?" Hermione asked quietly.
Harry shook his head, even as he closed his eyes. He knew he needed to. He knew he couldn't keep the horror he'd seen inside or he'd explode. His friends were great, but this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to talk to Draco. The older Draco.
Harry opened his eyes and looked longingly over towards his desk, not noticing his friends' confused looks. They followed his line of sight, but couldn't see anything that would make Harry look that way. Until Hermione spotted the now somewhat worn looking journal that she'd bought for Harry over the summer for his birthday.
"Have you been writing, Harry?" she asked softly.
Despite her quiet tones, Harry was startled. He looked at Hermione, flicked his gaze to the desk where he could see his journal and then back to her again. The others were glancing between the two curiously.
"Um, yeah," Harry answered. "I started writing after Draco's second night with me. Originally I thought I could kind of record some of Draco's second childhood."
"But now?" Hermione asked. "Has it been helping you?"
Harry dropped his gaze to the soft blanket covering him. "Yes," he admitted quietly.
"Do you write to someone?" Hermione asked understandingly.
Harry looked up at her in surprise. She smiled at him gently. "It's a girl thing, Harry," she explained. "Don't you remember how Ginny wrote to Tom Riddle? We like to write like we're actually talking to someone."
Pansy was nodding in agreement while Blaise and Ron were trying to stifle their snickering by the time she was done speaking.
Harry started laughing quietly. "Mione? Are you trying to tell me I'm a girl?"
She looked horrified. "Oh no, Harry!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean it that way."
"Then how did you mean it?" Harry smirked at her, waiting to see how she'd try to get herself out of this one.
"I mean, I only know girls who write in diaries and so that's why I said it's a girl thing. I meant I'm a girl so that's how I guessed. I don't actually think you're a girl," she finished weakly, knowing she'd stepped in it.
Harry winked at Blaise and Ron. "Then if girls write in diaries, I think it's a damned good thing I've been writing in a journal instead."
The boys were snickering at the girls, while the girls just rolled their eyes at them.
"So, anyway, despite definitely being a boy, I gather you write like you're talking to someone," Hermione retorted. She instantly regretted it, though, when Harry's face fell again.
Harry blushed in embarrassment. "I know it sounds ridiculous and you'll probably all laugh at me even more for being like a girl, but when I write, I talk to Draco," he mumbled.
"We're not laughing at you, mate," Ron said reassuringly.
"You talk to Draco?" Pansy asked curiously. "The older Draco?"
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "Yeah," he whispered. "I know it's crazy."
"I think it's actually kind of sweet," Pansy admitted.
"You guys really do think I'm a bloody girl," Harry said dryly, causing the others to laugh.
He gave up on his embarrassment and decided to explain. "I talk to him everyday. I write about what's going on with his younger self. I write about what's going on with me. I write about things like my vision today," Harry added quietly.
He looked up at Hermione. "You were right once again," he admitted. "Writing has helped me work through a lot of things the last few months."
Harry shifted his gaze to the fire blazing warmly and the others waited patiently, sensing Harry had more he wanted to say now that he'd gotten started. "Over break I plan to redo the journal and take out some things. Um, I doubt Draco would exactly be thrilled with finding out that his rival loves him," Harry said somewhat bitterly.
He took a deep breath before continuing. "Anyway, then I'll piece it back together and give it to him for Christmas. I still intend to give him that record of his little second childhood here," Harry said quietly. "There just ended up being a whole lot more of me in that journal than I'd ever intended when I first started and I'd be essentially baring my entire soul to him if he ever read the original," he admitted, still staring blanking into the flames.
Harry knew he was admitting to more than he had intended to, but spoke again anyway. "It's probably pretty pathetic of me, telling Draco Malfoy all of my secrets. I only wish I had the real Draco to talk to," he whispered.
Hermione once again looked like she was going to interrupt, but the other three shot her quelling glares and she subsided, allowing Harry to say whatever it was he wanted to.
"It's not that I don't appreciate all of your support," Harry said. "Because I do. I need you guys. I just need . . . I don't know." Harry shook his head slightly in confusion, trying to make sense of his thoughts.
This time Hermione interrupted anyway. "You need that one person that's there just for you. The one who places you above everyone else," she said quietly.
Harry turned slowly to look at her. "You understand?"
She smiled softly. "Of course, I understand, Harry. We all want someone like that in our lives. We all need friends, but we also need someone that goes far beyond that friendship role. Someone who loves us unconditionally and we love them in return. A partner to listen to our secrets, someone that we can share everything with, without being afraid."
"Yeah," Harry said wistfully, back to staring into the flames. "I want someone like that."
"You're going to at least give Draco a chance when he gets back to normal, aren't you?" Blaise asked.
Harry turned to look at him sadly, but his voice was even and calm. "His father was just freed from Azkaban again, Blaise. What do you think is really going to happen?"
Blaise and the others winced slightly and shifted uncomfortably.
Harry snorted. "You know as well as I do that Draco will likely go back to being the same Death Eater wannabe prat that he has been. He happens to value his life and he's going to have to do his best to protect himself from his father once again."
"Severus would protect him here, though," Blaise protested.
Harry shrugged helplessly. "Yes, he would, but Draco would have to accept that help. None of us really know what all Lucius has done to him all these years. Did things get even worse for him? Did things stay about the same? How much hold does Lucius actually have over Draco? I am absolutely positive that Draco thinks the man will kill him immediately if he thinks Draco has stepped out of line at all."
Harry's glare turned cold and hard. "If I ever run into that man, I swear that I will kill him. Draco should not be living his life at the mercy of that man . . . because Lucius Malfoy does not know how to show mercy."
The others could only stare as Harry's attitude shifted so quickly.
"Here I am whinging about whether Draco could ever love me back or not. What the fuck does it really matter? What matters is that Draco's safety is more at stake now because Lucius Malfoy is running about free again." Harry shifted to gaze at the little boy sleeping peacefully on the bed across the room. "I promised that little boy a long time ago that I wouldn't let his father hurt him again and I will do my bloody best to keep that promise."
Harry's determination was renewed and his confidence returned along with it. His friends were a little startled at the transformation from the scared and lovesick teen to this young man radiating pure power and purpose who was before them now. They were forcibly reminded that there was a lot more layers to Harry Potter than most people realized.
He was a teenager like the rest of them who could get hurt, scared, lovesick, lonely and be moody at times. However, he was also the powerful wizard who they had no doubt would actually save them all from Voldemort one day like was expected of him.
Chapter 17: Winter Holidays
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 17: Winter Holidays
"Hold up for just a minute, Draco," Harry said.
Harry left Draco sitting on the stool at their workbench and walked down to Snape's desk at the front of the Potions classroom as the rest of the class was getting out of there as fast as they could. This was their last exam that they'd just finished and everyone was ready to begin the holidays.
"Professor?" Harry said quietly. He was fairly certain no one was paying any attention, but didn't dare use the professor's given name in the classroom.
Snape lifted a brow in response.
"I was just wondering how Draco's potion is going," Harry said.
"And why are you asking about that now?" Snape asked.
Harry grinned sheepishly. "Um, at the moment I'm still thinking about potions. I kind of wanted to ask about it now and then I don't have to think about potions again for awhile."
Snape looked at him appraisingly. "You wish to make sure Draco's potion is going well and exactly when it will be ready, but then you wish to put it out of your mind until then," he said knowingly.
Harry looked down, unable to meet Snape's eyes and unsure of how to respond. Snape was right and they both knew it.
Snape sighed heavily. "It will be ready on the second of January, right on schedule. Now go. I, unfortunately, still have work to do," he sneered.
Harry looked up and gave him a slight smile. "Thanks," he said softly, before turning to gather up Draco and finally leave the now quiet classroom.
"How come we're sitting at the Slytherin table again for dinner?" Draco asked, his brow furrowed. "We already had lunch here."
Harry chuckled and ruffled Draco's hair as he sat down at the table. "It's nice to know that you've got all our routines down."
"He's right, though," Pansy said, sending Harry a curious look. "Not that you're not welcome, but why are you here for dinner tonight?"
Harry realized they were all looking at him curiously, waiting for an answer. "Er, I just wanted to sit here while I still could," Harry admitted quietly, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't exactly know if I'll be welcome still after the holidays."
"Oh," Pansy said, her eyes widening in realization.
"Why wouldn't you be welcome still?" Draco asked curiously, not understanding the significance.
Harry looked at him sadly, not at all sure how to tell the little boy that Draco himself would be the one to decide whether Harry was still welcome or not. Blaise answered Draco for him.
"Harry's just being strange," Blaise said, with a smile for Draco. "Of course he'll still be welcome here at the Slytherin table after holidays."
"Good," Draco said decisively. "See, Harry, everything is just fine, so you have no reason to be sad."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine, Draco. Whatever you say," he said dryly.
"Oh, don't be getting all gloomy on us," Pansy said irritably. "We've got three weeks of holidays ahead of us and we're going to enjoy them and worry about anything else later."
Harry saluted her. "Yes, ma'am," he said with a grin.
"Just eat," she said, rolling her eyes even as she gave Harry a warm smile.
Harry smiled back at her, but there was a trace of lingering sadness about him. Breakfast was already promised to the Gryffindors, and then over break Dumbledore would have everyone at one table. Harry gave in and enjoyed what could be his last meal at the Slytherin table, chatting with his friends.
December 13
It was the last day of classes today and holidays officially start tomorrow. I didn't expect today to hit me quite so hard, but I've been fighting down my emotions all day. And to tell the truth, I've been doing a lousy job of it.
It's just that it could have been my last day being accepted by the Slytherins. I know if you decide to, you can make things really difficult. My stomach clenches in knots every time I think about what you can do if you decide to be angry about me taking care of you the last few months and everything that's happened.
I can't decide if I'm looking forward to you being back to normal or not. I'll miss the little boy and it's going to hurt like hell if you don't even want to be friends . . .
"It's just the eight of us that have stayed for the holidays," Hermione announced. "There are a few students in each of the other years, but from sixth year, it's only us."
"Merlin, is it always this quiet over the holidays?" Blaise asked with a grimace. "I've only stayed over fourth year when we had the Yule Ball and almost everyone else stayed, too."
Harry gave him a twisted smile. "Yeah, it's usually this quiet, but it gives you pretty much a free reign in the castle."
"Oh no!" Pansy declared. "You are not going to go getting all morose on us again. We're going to change this subject right now and figure out something fun to do."
Harry shrugged. "So, what do you want to do?"
"I think we should go outside and play in the snow," Ron said with a wide grin.
"Yeah!" Draco cheered at that idea. "Can we, Harry? Can we go play outside?"
"Well, I don't know," Harry said slowly, shaking his head and attempting to suppress his own grin. "It's awfully cold out there."
"But, Harry," Draco pleaded. "I promise I'll dress warm. Please can we go outside," he begged. He had climbed into Harry's lap and was staring at Harry with huge, silver puppy dog eyes.
Harry couldn't resist and broke out laughing. "Yes, we can go outside and play in all that fresh snow," he said. "Let's go get you dressed warmer first."
As Draco went scrambling off Harry's lap, Harry looked to the others. "So, does everyone care to join us?" he asked with a grin.
"I'm not sure we have much choice," Pansy said with a wry smile, looking at the little boy who was bouncing impatiently as he waited for Harry.
"We'll meet you all in the Entrance Hall in twenty minutes," Harry tossed over his shoulder as he made to leave with Draco.
"You know what we haven't done yet, angel?" Harry asked.
They'd been outside most of the afternoon playing in the snow. They'd made snowmen, started on a huge snow fort that was large enough for most of them to stand in, and there had been several impromptu snowball fights.
There had also been dozens of drying spells and warming charms cast throughout the afternoon. No one wanted Draco, in particular, getting sick. The boys also kept teasing the girls for whinging about being cold and wet.
Now, Draco was staring around the grounds at all the evidence of their afternoon of playing, trying to figure out what they hadn't done.
Harry smiled softly. "We haven't made snow angels yet," he said quietly.
Draco's eyes lit up. "You can make snow angels?"
"Of course," Harry said. "Here, I'll show you." He grabbed Draco's mittened hand and pulled him over to an undisturbed area of snow.
"Now watch," Harry ordered. He fell back into the snow and began moving his arms and legs, swishing them through the snow.
Draco watched him curiously. "Why are you doing that?" he asked.
"Because this is how you make a snow angel," Harry explained.
Hermione and the others had come over to see what they were doing and she held out a hand to help Harry up. He crouched next to Draco and pointed to his body print in the snow. "See that? That's called a snow angel."
Suddenly, a look of comprehension crossed Draco's features. "Your arms made the wings!" he exclaimed.
Harry grinned and kissed the little reddened nose. "Yep! Now do you want to try, angel?"
Draco stomped over a few feet and flopped onto his back with a huge grin, waving his arms and legs as he made his own snow angel. Smiling warmly, Harry stepped over and carefully helped Draco up when he was done.
"I did it!" Draco said proudly.
"You sure did," Harry said, sounding just as proud and happy as Draco. "My angel made a snow angel!"
Draco soon had the whole group making snow angels. Even Pansy made a couple, despite the fact that she grumbled the whole time about snow, the cold and being wet. Hermione wasn't much more enthusiastic than Pansy. Blaise and Ron jumped into the new game of making snow angels with enough enthusiasm for all of them, though.
Crabbe and Goyle were the most hilarious. They tried, but ruined their angels every time when they struggled to get back up again. Everyone was in stitches as the two very large, disgruntled Slytherins continued to try to make a good snow angel, Draco cheering all the while.
With red noses, flushed cheeks, sparkling eyes and cold hands, it was a happy group that eventually made their way back into the castle for hot chocolate and warm baths.
December 17
So far the holidays have been incredible! This is by far the best time I've ever had. We spent the afternoon out in the snow again today. I've never played so much like that in my life. I'm not sure that you ever have either.
But you are absolutely adorable when you're out there playing in the snow. Your cheeks flush all rosy and your nose gets all red. I'm sure you hate that, wanting to keep your pale skin all perfect and all. But I think it makes you look sweet and happy. Your silver eyes sparkle and they're just so full of life.
I know, I'm kind of getting sappy. Ok, so I'm getting really sappy, but I don't care. It's just been so nice not having to deal with classes and just being able to play the last few days.
Of course, Severus still has me working every night after you go to sleep. We don't know what's going to happen now that your father and the other Azkaban prisoners are loose. I'm actually nervous because I haven't been able to learn anything useful through my visions over the last week. But I know Voldemort has got to be planning something.
Anyway, I don't want to think about all that again. It just depresses me.
Holiday assignments depress me, too! Severus has made sure that I spend time each evening getting my assignments out of the way. I'm not being allowed to put them off until the end of the holidays this time like I usually do.
Maybe that's a good thing. I don't exactly know what things are going to be like at the end of the holidays. Technically I guess I'll still be rooming here because of my visions, while you'll be going back to the Slytherin dorms. Although I don't know how Severus intends to explain me rooming here still.
It'll be really strange with you not here and honestly, I'm having trouble even imagining it. Well, so much for me not depressing myself.
Christmas. Christmas isn't depressing. I'm so looking forward to it. You're getting really excited about it, too! You should listen to yourself prattling on about it! I have fun just sitting here listening to you chatter about presents and trees and more presents and decorations and yet more presents. It's hilarious but you're so adorable!
Luckily I've still got a week before Christmas because I still need to get this journal copied and fixed for you. What with Severus making me do my assignments first, I haven't really had much time to work on it yet. And it's definitely something I want to do myself . . .
"Please, Sev'rus," Draco begged. Then he turned his silver, puppy dog eyes on Harry. "Please, Harry."
Harry was sitting on the couch in Severus' sitting room, and he lifted Draco to sit in his lap. "I don't know, angel," Harry said nervously, shooting a wary glance at Snape. "I want to go, too, but . . . ,"
"But, Harry, it'll be fun," Draco pleaded.
"I know it would be fun," Harry said quietly. "And it would be nice to be able to finish our Christmas shopping," he admitted.
"So, why can't we go?" Draco asked.
Harry shrugged uncomfortably and looked over at Severus. It wasn't going to be Harry's decision. He was going to leave this decision up to Draco's godfather.
"This is Dumbledore's fault," Severus snapped irritably.
Harry didn't dare respond. Dumbledore had declared at dinner the night before that the students would be allowed to go to Hogsmeade today. They would have more supervision than normal, but he said they should be living their lives as usual, rather than living in fear.
Needless to say, Snape wasn't particularly thrilled with the idea, considering that Lucius was running about free. Draco didn't know or understand this, though. Everyone had kept that little bit of news away from the small boy.
Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to go into Hogsmeade or not. He could understand both Dumbledore's and Snape's point of view. If it was just himself, he'd go. It's not like the threat of a murderer after him had stopped him from going to Hogsmeade in the past, but this concerned Draco, too.
So, Harry had decided to leave the decision up to Snape. And Snape was obviously feeling a bit torn, too. If the situation wasn't so serious, Harry would think it was funny how the small four-year-old seemed to be wearing down the man's resistance. Hell, even despite the situation, Harry was finding it funny as he listened to Draco plead with his godfather yet again.
"Sev'rus, please can we go?" Draco pleaded. "I promise I'll be good."
"Oh, for . . . !" Severus exclaimed.
Harry ducked his head, attempting to hide his sudden grin. At this point, he knew they would be going to Hogsmeade, at least for a little while.
"Draco, you may go, but you have to promise to stay with Harry the entire time," Snape ordered.
"I promise," Draco said seriously. Then he grinned as he scrambled off of Harry's lap and ran across to give his godfather a big bear hug. "Thank you, Sev'rus," he said happily.
Severus sighed heavily as he gathered the little boy on his lap, returning the hug. He met Harry's eyes over the top of Draco's head.
"I don't really think that they would dare to come so close, but you will carry a Portkey in case of emergency," Severus said solemnly.
"Yes, sir," Harry said seriously. He sure as hell didn't want anything to happen to Draco either.
So, an hour later, a group of eight was trooping through the snow towards Hogsmeade. They decided to stop in the Three Broomsticks first to warm up and decide where all they wanted to go. Most of them had Christmas shopping they still wanted to do.
"I want to go to Honeydukes," Ron declared, while waiting for Madam Rosmerta to bring them their butterbeers.
"I want to go there, too," Draco breathed, eyes wide and licking his lips.
"No," Harry said firmly, causing everyone to laugh.
"Aw, come on, Harry," Ron said, grinning widely. "You know you want to pick up some Christmas sweets for Draco."
"Draco will have enough Christmas sweets," Harry muttered. "He doesn't need me getting him any more."
Harry's muttering simply caused them all to laugh even louder. He was grateful for the distraction when Madam Rosmerta brought them their drinks. Pouting into his mug, it took him several moments to realize Draco and Crabbe were whispering to each other.
"What are you two talking about?" Harry asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the now guilty looking pair.
"Nothing, Harry," Crabbe answered quickly.
"Draco," Harry said sternly.
Draco ducked his head. "I asked him if he'd get me some chocolate frogs," he mumbled quietly.
"Thanks for telling me the truth at least," Harry said to Draco. "Unlike some people," he said accusingly, glaring at Crabbe.
"He just wants some chocolate frogs, Harry," Ron said. "It's not like we'll be as stupid as you and let him eat them all at once."
Harry groaned, trying to ignore the round of snickering. "Fine, you guys go to Honeydukes, but leave me out of it. I'm taking Draco over to Zonko's."
"I kind of need to go to Scrivenshaft's," Hermione said.
"Me, too," Pansy agreed. "The quill shop is the main place I need to go today."
"I need to go to the Owl Post Office," Blaise said. "There's a package there I'm supposed to pick up."
"What kind of package wouldn't have been delivered to the school?" Hermione asked curiously.
"One I didn't want everyone seeing," Blaise said with a smirk. "So, I had it delivered there instead."
"Well, you can't go there alone," Hermione said firmly.
"Greg will go with me. Won't you Greg?" Blaise asked, flashing him a puppy dog look.
Greg rolled his eyes, but nodded in agreement.
"But that'll leave Harry and Draco by themselves," Pansy said worriedly.
"We're only going to Zonko's," Harry said calmly. "Besides, we have to all split up some if we're going to get everything done that we want to. You know we only have two hours before we have to be back."
"It won't take me long," Blaise added. "So, Greg and I will just meet them over at Zonko's as soon as I'm done."
"Won't take me long either," Ron said.
"We know exactly what we want in Honeydukes," Crabbe agreed.
The girls nodded reluctantly. Harry could see the hints of nervousness in the others as well. He wasn't about to tell anyone that he wasn't exactly confident about this arrangement either. It was a lot different when he was responsible for Draco, than it was when he was just responsible for himself, but they really wouldn't be split up for that long.
The group left the Three Broomsticks, in a hurry now that they'd decided. Harry and Draco headed towards Zonko's, Draco's hand held tightly by Harry's. Harry made sure Draco was on his left side, leaving his right hand free, just in case. He rolled his eyes at his paranoia, thinking that Snape must be wearing off on him. He'd never been this nervous in Hogsmeade before.
They passed by Tonks on their way, and Harry grinned, feeling much better. As Dumbledore promised, there was more security in Hogsmeade. Several members of the Order were patrolling the streets.
Harry and Draco slipped into Zonko's and set about selecting the items they wanted to buy. Harry had most of his Christmas shopping done. This stop was mainly because Draco had decided he wanted to give his friends some of the joke shop items for Christmas. Harry thought it was kind of funny that as sixteen-year-olds they were all as easily entertained with the joke items as the four-year-old was.
"I want to get them some of these, too," Draco said enthusiastically.
"You want to get them Hiccup Sweets?" Harry asked dubiously. "Sure you don't want them for yourself?"
Draco looked up at him innocently. "They'll like them."
Harry sighed and grabbed a bag full of them, knowing Draco was going to be trying to eat them even as they wrapped them up for Draco to give to their friends for Christmas.
Harry and Draco quickly selected the items they wanted to purchase, wanting them paid for and hidden away before the other boys caught up to them. They must have been faster than they realized, because when they stepped outside the store, none of the others had shown up yet.
"Hold on a second, Draco," Harry said. "Let me just shrink this down, and then we'll see if we can't find the others."
"Okay," Draco said easily.
Harry had to let go of Draco's hand to get his wand out and shrink their bag down. Once he had it pocketed away, then he would have both hands free—one to hold Draco's hand and the other with free access to his wand. He pocketed the now tiny bag with their purchases, and turned to take Draco's hand again. And panicked.
Harry couldn't figure out how Draco could've disappeared. It had only been a few seconds and Draco was just right there. Whirling in a circle, hoping to catch sight of the small blond head, it didn't even occur to him to shout for help.
Harry spotted Draco walking into a nearby alleyway, and he ran.
"Draco, no!" Harry shouted.
Turning the corner into the alley, Harry saw Draco slowly reaching for his father's outstretched hand and Harry just knew that Lucius was holding a Portkey, ready to whisk Draco away.
Draco startled with Harry's appearance and began backing away from his father immediately. Harry didn't have time to wonder what kind of spell Lucius might have cast on Draco or how the man had managed to escape detection from all the Order members watching over the students in Hogsmeade. As Lucius lunged to grab his son, Harry leapt the final distance and grabbed hold of Lucius' hand holding the Portkey.
Harry wasn't surprised when Lucius activated it immediately. Harry went whirling as the Portkey dragged him away from the alleyway, landing in a heap on a cool marble floor.
That was all he had time to register before he was knocked out and blackness overtook him.
Chapter 18: Defeating Voldemort
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 18: Defeating Voldemort
Gradually, Harry surfaced to consciousness and his first wish was that he could sink back down—because he hurt. Everywhere.
Harry groaned as he remembered grabbing the Portkey and Lucius Malfoy taking him away from Hogsmeade instead of Draco. He didn't remember anything after landing, though. Harry wondered what Lucius had done to him while he was unconscious. His body felt like it had been run over by the Hogwarts Express—at full steam. He supposed he should be thankful he wasn't actually dead yet.
Slowly Harry opened his eyes and found even that simple movement difficult to do; it seemed his eyes were swollen and crusted over. Through slitted eyes, Harry attempted to take stock of his surroundings.
It didn't take him long to realize that he was probably in one of the dungeon cells in Malfoy Manor. Rather than making him more fearful, as it probably should, Harry found rage building in him. This was where Lucius had been torturing his own son.
Despite his circumstances, Harry was thankful that he was actually the one here instead of Draco. He'd promised Draco that he'd do anything he could to keep his father from ever hurting him again and didn't regret grabbing the Portkey to protect the little boy.
Harry tried to move and all he accomplished was sending more pain wrenching through his body and rattling the chains. He was bound by both wrists and ankles to the damp, cold, stone wall. If simply trying to move his hands or feet sent pain coursing through him, he didn't have a chance of being able to work his way free. Who knew where his wand was, or even if it was in one piece anymore.
The chill setting into his very bones, Harry waited. He wondered why Lucius had beat him so severely without the pleasure of having him conscious. Harry sneered, thinking about the fact that Lucius should have enjoyed hearing him scream as the injuries were inflicted. He could feel the blood trickling down his back and there was no doubt in his mind that he'd been whipped viciously. Yet Harry remembered none of it.
Harry kept his eyes closed and tried not to focus on the pain. Rather, he tried to focus on the puzzle of Lucius Malfoy. Suddenly the obvious hit him. Lucius was afraid. He didn't take the risk of Harry being able to do anything to get away. Lucius wanted him injured and weakened.
Uncomfortably, Harry realized that Lucius' plan was pretty effective. Here he was chained in a dungeon cell, horribly injured and feeling quite weakened. He'd been unable to fight back in any way.
He didn't have his wand, but he tried to focus his magic like Snape had been teaching him. All he wanted was some basic unlocking spells to get the manacles off his wrists and ankles. His magic had a tendency to help him in emergencies and the situation he currently found himself in definitely qualified as an emergency.
Harry pictured the manacles and pictured the locks and sent his magic outwards along his limbs. He had more appreciation for why Snape always pushed him so hard. Taking control of his magic wandlessly like this wasn't nearly so easy when he was under pressure.
Suddenly he was released and he dropped to the stone floor. Harry screamed as the pain flared up unbearably. He held his body as still as he could, attempting to even his breathing. He quickly figured out the hard way that taking deep breaths wasn't exactly a smart idea.
He lay there, unable to gather the strength to do anything else. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to get out of here. Once again, he was thankful Draco was safe.
"Potter!"
Harry cracked open his eyes to see Lucius Malfoy slamming furiously into the room.
"Who got you down?" Lucius demanded coldly.
Harry smirked up at him. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he croaked out, his voice hoarse and sounding damaged.
Lucius' eyes flared dangerously. "This isn't the time to fuck with me, Potter. In case you haven't noticed, you are seriously at the disadvantage here. You are in my territory now."
Harry's own eyes flared with anger and defiance. "At least it's not your son that you've got here this time," he said furiously.
Lucius smiled down at him coldly. "No, you left my son to be picked up by someone else and they've taken him straight to the Dark Lord—which is where I'm taking you now."
Harry stared at him blankly. "No," he said in denial. "Draco's safe."
Lucius didn't give Harry a chance to comprehend before pulling a Portkey from his pocket and grabbing hold of Harry's battered form in disgust. Another whirl and Harry was transported to Voldemort's lair. He landed with a scream ripping his throat to shreds.
Harry felt his scar flare and knew Voldemort was close. Automatically, Harry threw up his Occlumency shields and once again was thankful for Snape's harsh training over the last few months. Harry was frantically trying to reclaim control over his body with all its injuries.
"Harry! Oh, Harry!" Harry barely registered the cries before Draco was there at his side and touching his face hysterically.
"Draco?" Harry cracked his eyes open to see Draco's young face just inches from his own, tears flowing down his cheeks.
"Harry!" Draco cried out again, seemingly unable to say anything else in his fear and worry.
"Are you all right?" Harry demanded. "Have they hurt you?"
Draco shook his head vehemently.
"What a touching reunion," Lucius sneered.
Harry found new reserves of strength and pushed himself up to a sitting position, looking around him for the first time. His eyes widened as much as they could as he realized he and Draco were completely surrounded. He unconsciously forced his eyes open wider as he further realized that he was in the same graveyard where Voldemort had been resurrected.
"Ah, I see you remember this place," came the high, cold voice of Voldemort himself.
Harry swallowed down the nausea that was threatening to overwhelm him and glared up defiantly at Voldemort. "Have you missed me, Tom?" he sneered.
Voldemort's red eyes flashed. "I also see you've yet to learn any manners."
"I only show respect to those who deserve it," Harry retorted.
"You will learn to show respect!" Voldemort declared.
" Imperio!"
Harry barely felt the dream-like state wash over him before he pushed it away and once again glared at Voldemort. "It didn't work last time. What made you think it would work this time?" he snapped angrily.
Voldemort addressed his followers. "See how defiant he is, even when he has nothing at all going in his favor. You are here tonight to witness his final defeat."
Harry let Voldemort's words wash over him, just like he'd let the curse flow over him without affecting him. He hugged the sobbing Draco to him tightly, ignoring his own pain, and tried to figure out how the fuck he was supposed to get them both out of there.
There was no Portkey lying around this time. He was in the open and technically he could Apparate but he wasn't good enough to be able to Apparate Draco with him. Besides that, his strength was seriously depleted.
Harry automatically rubbed Draco's back soothingly as he looked frantically around the area searching for some solution. For the first time, Harry regretted that Snape had quit his Death Eater duties. There was no one there who would help them.
He could feel Draco's heart beating as frantically as his own. Harry was barely feeling his wounds now, though, adrenaline coursing through his body and overriding the pain. Fight or flight. Harry could see no means of fleeing which meant he'd have to fight.
"Get the child away from him!" Voldemort ordered coldly.
"No! Leave him alone!" Harry shouted as loudly as he could, holding onto Draco tightly.
Harry had been watching Lucius and was caught by surprise when someone came up from behind him and snatched Draco while someone else grabbed his arms and forcibly yanked them behind his body. Harry was shoved to the ground and he was once again trying to regain his breath.
"You need to learn not to question me, Potter," Voldemort declared. " Crucio!"
Harry had been so, so wrong. He hadn't been hurting before. Now he was hurting as it felt like his bones were set on fire and his entire body, inside and out, was wracked with pain. Long before the curse was let up, Harry's voice had lost its ability to scream.
When he was finally released from the curse, he was left collapsed on the frozen ground, panting heavily, each breath recreating the fire in his chest.
Vaguely, Harry could hear Draco sobbing and hysterically calling his name.
"Lucius," Voldemort commanded. "Punish your son and quiet him immediately."
"Yes, my Lord," Lucius said smoothly.
Harry felt the adrenaline flow through his body even stronger than it had earlier. Or maybe it was his magic he felt flowing. All he knew was that suddenly he had the ability to push himself up and was frantically searching out Draco and Lucius.
"The damned brat won't shut up!"
Harry realized the voice belonged to Bellatrix the second before she forcefully threw Draco onto the ground.
Harry saw Lucius raising his wand and mind and magic remembered his promise to Draco. Without thought, Harry raised his hand and cast a powerful Shield charm around Draco then cast one on himself before he struggled to his feet. "Close your eyes and keep them closed, Draco," Harry shouted as loud as his tortured throat would allow.
" Accio wand," Harry yelled, still trying to ignore the pain in his throat, let alone the rest of his battered body. His wand came flying from the pocket of Lucius' robes before the man could stop it.
The Death Eaters were shouting and several threw curses at both him and Draco but the shields Harry had put up were causing the curses to bounce off before hitting them.
Harry turned his rage on Lucius. "I promised your son that I'd never let you torture him again. I also promised myself and his godfather that if I ever had the chance that I'd kill you, you fucking bastard."
"You don't have the nerve or the ability to kill me, Potter," Lucius sneered at him.
"That's what you think," Harry said coldly. " Avada Kedavra!" The green light shot out from the end of Harry's wand and hit the disbelieving Lucius Malfoy square in the chest.
But Harry wasn't done and with barely a thought he flicked his wand at Bellatrix. "You're next, bitch. I promised my own godfather I'd kill you." Harry paid no attention to whatever the spell was that she cast at him. " Avada Kedavra!"
Most of the rest of the Death Eaters were starting to back away fearfully and Harry whirled on Voldemort. "I'm bloody tired of all this. How about you, Tom?" Harry asked, his voice cold as steel.
Slowly but surely Harry started pulling his magic in to hold in readiness for him to let loose. He was ready to end this here and now. He had no idea how he'd been able to pull off the shields, but didn't care. All he knew was that he'd made a promise to Draco and was doing his best to fulfill it.
"You are going to die, Harry Potter," Voldemort hissed angrily.
Harry registered the fact that Voldemort was finally looking afraid, even as he said that he was going to kill Harry.
"You won't be able to kill me, Tom Riddle," Harry declared. "See, I've got love on my side which gives me a whole new power you have never understood." And suddenly, Harry knew it to be true. He felt it to be true.
"Love is not a power," Voldemort sneered.
Harry kept talking as he let his magic build up. "Oh, but you're wrong. It's an amazing power. Love for that child, love for the young man he will be once again—it's extremely powerful. People have always accused me of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Of letting my emotions rule me. I used to argue with that. But see, now I'm pretty certain that it's love that's created these shields around Draco and I. You have no love to shield yourself with."
"I don't need love to shield me, foolish boy," Voldemort shouted.
Harry let his magic go, firing it through his wand, straight at Voldemort. He didn't say an incantation of any kind, letting his magic do for itself whatever it needed to do. And it did. His magic crashed into Voldemort with a heavy force, ripping into his body even as it threw him backwards twenty feet through the air, slamming into a headstone.
Harry watched wide-eyed as Voldemort writhed in agony, screaming out his pain, frustration, fear and anger. His body glowed with the same green glow associated with the Avada Kedavra curse, and that glow surrounded him until finally it was all over. Harry didn't know how he knew it, but he was certain that green glow was his magic making sure that Voldemort's core couldn't escape once again.
Harry blinked. It was done. Voldemort was really and truly dead.
Harry suddenly registered Draco's sobbing and turned on his heel, breathing heavily, wand at the ready. But everyone else was gone. They'd seen their master's downfall and were gone now.
Harry hurried over to Draco as swiftly as he was able and gathered the little boy in his arms, steadfastly ignoring the pain he was in. "Shhh, it's all over now, angel. Shhh, it'll be all right." Harry kept murmuring any soothing sounds he could think of.
"Are your eyes still shut?" Harry asked. "Did you keep them shut like I told you to?"
"Y-yes," Draco sobbed.
"Good boy, angel. Just keep them closed for me a little longer, please," Harry said, his voice a little shaky but, overall, calm.
Gods, they were stuck here with the little boy's dead father—whom Harry had killed—and they had no way back to Hogwarts still.
Harry's injuries were wanting to take over his body again, but he still had some adrenaline flowing as he attempted to think of a way out of there.
Harry let his gaze fall on the dead body of Lucius Malfoy. The sight was enough to make him feel sick all over again, but the man had deserved it. He'd deserved to die for torturing his own son for so many years, let alone for all the things he'd done in the name of his master.
Harry looked at the man again. Lucius had had Harry's wand in his pocket. Would he have the other things Harry had stuffed in his pockets before leaving for Hogsmeade? Would he have the Portkey Snape had given him?
"Angel?" Harry asked, trying to get Draco's attention. "Draco?"
"Y-yes, H-Harry?" came the small, shaky voice answering.
"I need you to stay here while I do something real quick," Harry said. "I promise you're safe and I'll only be a minute. I just need to get our Portkey so we can go back to Hogwarts." He hoped.
Harry felt Draco nod his head and carefully lifted the boy off his lap where the boy promptly curled up into a ball again on the frozen ground. Harry kept talking to Draco in soothing tones as he crawled achingly over to Lucius' body. He crammed down his disgust and nausea at searching the man's pockets, but gave a cry of triumph when he pulled out the Portkey.
Crawling back over to Draco, Harry gathered the boy back into his arms. "Hold on, angel. We're going back to safety." Harry activated the Portkey and held onto Draco tightly as they whirled, the nausea rising threateningly once again. They landed in a heap at the Hogwarts gates.
Harry groaned loudly as he threatened to black out, pain overwhelming him. He clung desperately to the thought that he still had to get Draco to safety.
Draco seemed to have regained some of his equilibrium, being in familiar territory.
"Harry? Harry!" Draco cried. "Are you okay? We're almost there, Harry!"
"Hold on a minute," Harry gasped, the last several hours trying to claim their hold on him.
"Please be all right, Harry," Draco sobbed.
Harry managed to keep the blackness at bay and slowly forced himself into a sitting position. He carefully looked Draco over as he tried to catch his breath. "Are you really all right, Draco? Did they hurt you at all?"
"I'm all right," Draco said quietly. "They only hurt me a little." At the furious look crossing Harry's features, Draco was quick to explain. "No, I mean they just held me too tight and threw me down, but I'm really all right."
Harry relaxed a little and sighed in relief. He glanced up at the castle which seemed so incredibly far away. He struggled to get on his feet again. "Can you walk, angel?"
Draco nodded bravely and took Harry's hand. Very slowly they started walking to the castle. Harry didn't have the foggiest clue as to what time it was. It was plenty dark out and certainly no one was around. He did know that he was more exhausted than he'd ever been in his life.
Harry made it to the bottom of the steps and decided there was absolutely no way he was going to make it up them. He collapsed, more than sat, on the bottom step, with Draco watching him anxiously.
"Draco? Do you think you could run in and find Severus for me? Or anybody for that matter," Harry muttered.
Draco looked at him worriedly, but then his face scrunched up into a determined expression. "I'll bring someone right back to help you," he promised.
Harry nodded wearily and leaned up against the stone wall at the side of the steps. Draco took off as fast as his little legs would carry him up the steps and into the castle.
Harry started to drift into unconsciousness now that they were pretty much safe. He couldn't have been there long when the castle doors flew open. Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Blaise was holding Draco, Pansy, Ron, Hermione and Crabbe and Goyle all came tumbling out of the castle, although Harry was barely registering any of them.
"Harry!"
Harry blinked blearily into obsidian eyes directly in front of him. Severus was there. He was safe.
"Potter. Harry. What happened?" Severus was asking even as he was carefully lifting him.
"Been at the graveyard. Voldemort's really gone this time," Harry said wearily, laying his head on Severus' shoulder. "I killed Lucius and Bellatrix, too."
Harry didn't hear the gasps or exclamations of astonishment and didn't see the look of amazement Severus sent him.
"Had to keep my promise to Draco that I'd keep him safe and not let his father hurt him anymore," Harry's voice was barely audible, but Severus heard him.
"Foolish boy," Severus said, although his tone was full of affection and worry rather than any malice.
"I hurt everywhere," Harry said wearily.
"I know," Severus said. "Poppy will take care of you."
"I hate the hospital wing," Harry said petulantly, though his voice was sounding weaker and weaker with every word uttered.
"I know," Severus said again, and even as he said the words, he felt the shift of Harry's body as he finally slipped into unconsciousness.
Chapter 19: In the Hospital Wing
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 19: In the Hospital Wing
Harry surfaced to consciousness once again, remembering everything that had happened, yet afraid that maybe he wasn't really safe back at Hogwarts. He was fearful after remembering how his body hurt so badly after the last time he'd regained consciousness.
Harry lay still, trying to decide if he was really remembering things right or not. Had he really vanquished Voldemort? Had he actually killed Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange?
Harry turned his thoughts outwards. Yes, he was in the hospital wing. He could detect the medicinal smell of the place. It was unusually quiet, though. Maybe it was the middle of the night.
Someone was holding his hand. He tried to decide who it was but couldn't place it. It wasn't Draco's little hand, it was too large to be his. It wasn't Hermione's, her hands were smaller than the hand holding his. It wasn't Ron's hand either, too soft to be his.
There was one way to find out, but Harry was still afraid of moving at all or opening his eyes. Finally he screwed up his courage and cracked his eyes open, thankful for the low lighting in the room. It must have been the middle of the night after all.
Harry's eyes opened wide when he realized who was actually holding his hand. It was Draco. Only it wasn't four-year-old Draco, it was sixteen-year-old Draco. Harry blinked furiously while trying to figure out if he was really conscious or not, because he was about ready to decide that he was dreaming.
Draco Malfoy was holding his hand. The boy was sitting in a chair pulled close, his head pillowed on Harry's bed, sound asleep and holding Harry's hand.
"Draco?" Harry whispered in disbelief.
Obviously Draco hadn't been sleeping deeply, if he had been asleep at all, because his head shot up at Harry's whisper.
"Harry?" Draco whispered, echoing Harry's disbelief.
Harry was blinking furiously again, trying desperately to grasp what was going on.
"Am I awake?" Harry whispered, afraid to speak any louder, and not sure if he could speak any louder for that matter.
Suddenly, Draco smiled. Sixteen-year-old Draco Malfoy with a real smile directed at Harry. Harry brought his free hand up to his face to rub at his eyes before looking at Draco again. Yes, he was still there.
"Yes, you're awake," Draco said, still smiling. But then he closed his eyes briefly and muttered, "Thank Merlin."
"I'm confused," Harry said, trying to speak normally and his voice came out as a hoarse croak.
Draco looked at him in concern. "Are you thirsty? Are you feeling any pain at all?"
Harry looked at him, bemused by the concern and the whole situation. "Water," he said, nodding. Draco moved to pour him a glass from the jug on the nightstand.
Harry moved to try sitting up, testing his body to figure out the answer to Draco's other question. Setting the glass down, Draco quickly moved to help him and adjust the pillows behind Harry to support him.
"Are you hurting at all?" Draco asked again worriedly.
Harry was back to simply blinking at the blond Slytherin.
"Harry?" Draco asked.
Harry shook his head a little. "I'm stiff and a little sore, but I think I'm fine," he said quietly, his voice still hoarse.
Draco nodded and handed him the glass of water. Harry drank it down thirstily before handing the glass back. "That's better," Harry sighed, eyes closing and leaning back into the pillows. He did feel awfully weak and tired, he decided, for having just woke up.
"I should probably be getting Madam Pomfrey," Draco said quietly.
"Wait!" Harry exclaimed, startling Draco, who quickly turned back around.
"She needs to check you over and make sure you're okay," Draco said.
"But she'll just poke and prod me," Harry whinged. "I'm confused and want to know what's going on first."
Draco's lips quirked as if he was trying to repress a smile. "Yes, I'm sure she'll want to run a bunch of tests on you."
Harry begged him with his eyes and words. "Please, I just want to know what's going on. I don't even understand how you could be here like you are. The potion's not supposed to be ready for another two weeks."
Draco sat back down in the chair beside the bed and looked down at his hands twisting in his lap for several long moments. Finally, he looked up at Harry again. "Harry, you've been in here unconscious for the last three weeks. I took the potion and returned to my normal age a week ago," Draco said softly.
Harry was almost ready to decide that blinking was all he knew how to do anymore, because that was all he seemed able to do as he stared at Draco.
Draco's quiet voice continued after a few moments. "Everyone's been really worried about you. It took over a week just to heal the injuries to your body. You depleted your magic to an extremely low point. Dumbledore and Pomfrey have just kept saying that once your magical levels were restored, that you'd wake up again and you'd be fine."
He shook his head slightly. "Even they have looked really worried, though, and so no one has been sure whether to believe them or not."
Harry leaned back into the pillows trying to take all of this in.
"And I really did kill Voldemort?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded. "Dumbledore verified it. And yes, you really killed my father and my aunt, too."
Harry looked at Draco horrified. "Oh gods," Harry breathed as it registered that he'd killed this boy's family. He knew about Lucius and was personally glad, but wasn't sure how Draco would be taking the fact that his father was dead. And Harry had totally forgotten that Bellatrix was his aunt. "I killed your family."
Draco shook his head. "It's all right, Harry. They deserved what they got."
Harry closed his eyes and turned his head away. "I'm sorry, Draco. I'm sorry because I can't even say I'm sorry I killed them. I am sorry for hurting you, though," he said miserably.
"Harry," Draco said commandingly, trying to get Harry's attention. "Look at me."
Harry kept his lashes lowered, but slowly turned his head towards Draco.
"Open your eyes, Harry," Draco commanded softly.
Harry slowly opened tear-filled eyes and looked at Draco, the tears starting to spill over onto his cheeks. Draco reached over to tenderly brush them away. "Harry, don't you feel bad for killing them. I'm not angry or upset with you at all." Draco locked eyes with Harry, refusing to let Harry look away. "I'm glad they're dead, Harry. For the first time in my life, I'm really and truly safe from them and I'll never be harmed by them again. I'm glad you killed them."
Harry gazed at Draco, stunned by his words and the intensity with which they were spoken, not to mention Draco touching him so gently. "Really? You don't blame me?" Harry whispered.
Draco shook his head. "No, Harry. I don't blame you," he answered.
Harry closed his eyes again and sighed wearily.
"I'm still a murderer, though," Harry said with quiet bitterness. "Sad thing is, I wanted to be."
Draco snorted loudly, startling Harry. "Harry, you killed three of the most evil people in the Wizarding world. It's called serving justice, not murder."
Harry was back to blinking at Draco.
Draco shook his head, chuckling lightly. "The Wizarding world is celebrating. Everyone is still worried about you, but most are celebrating their newfound freedom regardless. You've done the world a great service. You're definitely not a murderer about ready to be hauled off to Azkaban. You're now the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice," Draco said with a wry smile.
Harry groaned. "Oh, no. It wasn't like I even had the killing curse cast on me again. Please tell me you're joking. I don't want any more stupid titles."
Draco's smirk finally returned and Harry was actually glad to see it, being the first time in months. "Oh, yes. You've got plenty new stupid titles now, along with the old ones. You're the Hero, the Savior, and you're the Conqueror now," Draco drawled, smirk firmly in place.
"Oh gods," Harry moaned. "Why can't they just leave me alone?"
Draco snorted. "The press has been parked at the Hogwarts gates for the last three weeks, simply waiting to hear word that you're all right."
"Lovely," Harry said sarcastically, before yawning.
"Hey, I should be getting Madam Pomfrey to check you over," Draco said, his concern back.
"She can check me in the morning," Harry said petulantly.
"You've been out of it for three weeks, though," Draco protested.
Harry looked at Draco curiously, actually studying the boy finally. Admittedly, Harry hadn't seen the sixteen-year-old Draco for months, but he clearly had dark circles under his eyes, his features looked more gaunt than they should have been and for once his hair was mussed from having laid on the bed earlier.
"Draco, why are you here?" Harry asked quietly.
Draco looked away and shifted uncomfortably, not saying anything.
"Draco?" Harry said, trying to figure out what was going through the boy's head. "You haven't been in here all this time with me, have you?"
Draco shifted again. "Um, they wouldn't let me stay during the night when I was still only four," he said uncomfortably. "Well, not at first anyway."
Harry remained silent, hoping Draco would be more forthcoming.
"I wasn't exactly sleeping well when I was away from you," Draco finally admitted. "So Severus let Blaise bring me back up here so I could be close to you."
Harry smiled, thinking about the four-year-old Draco. "I bet you snuck into bed with me as soon as Blaise wasn't looking. And I also bet that Blaise turned away just so that you could."
Draco's lips quirked as he looked up at Harry through his fringe. "Yeah, that about covers it," he admitted.
Harry studied the dark smudges under Draco's eyes again. "You haven't slept really at all this last week, have you?"
Draco looked down again. "No," he said, barely audible.
Harry was confused. Tired and confused. He had no idea why Draco had been holding his hand when he woke up. He had no idea who this Draco was; he seemed to be an odd mix of both the older and younger Draco. Harry did know that he liked this Draco, and he really didn't want to question things too closely at the moment.
Harry wasn't sure if he was about to make a fool out of himself or not. "Um, would you be willing to lay down with me? I'm not used to sleeping by myself anymore," he said quietly.
Draco's head shot up and he stared at Harry wide-eyed.
"You don't have to," Harry said quickly. "I just thought maybe, well, I don't know, I thought maybe you'd sleep, too, if you're not used to sleeping alone and you obviously haven't been sleeping and I know you have nightmares and—"
Draco cut him off. "Harry, you're rambling," he said, his smirk returning.
Harry snapped his mouth shut and turned his head. He wouldn't cry. He'd already cried in front of Draco once tonight and he wasn't about to do it again. He'd known he'd likely be rejected. Draco probably just felt guilty or something and that's why he'd been there and had been friendly with Harry. Harry wanted to cry anyway and suddenly wished Draco would just go away so he could.
"Harry?" Draco called his name softly.
Harry refused to say anything, not sure if his voice would even work for him at the moment.
"Harry?" Draco called again.
"I'm sorry," Harry said stiffly. "I didn't mean to offend you."
"You didn't offend me," came Draco's softly spoken response.
Harry slowly turned his head to look at Draco.
"I didn't mean to make it sound like I was rejecting you," Draco said quietly. "Is the offer still open?"
Feeling like he'd been dropped into some alternate universe, Harry slowly nodded his head and scooted over a little on the bed. Without another word, Draco toed off his shoes and shrugged out of his robes before slipping into the bed beside Harry. They rearranged themselves and the blankets to make them both comfortable, Harry tucked snugly in Draco's arms.
Harry tried for a couple of minutes to process what was happening. He didn't understand how he could suddenly be lying in bed with sixteen-year-old Draco Malfoy. He was more than happy with the situation, but couldn't comprehend why Draco was allowing it. Feeling far too tired to figure it out at the moment, he decided that he should just be satisfied with the closeness while it lasted and deal with everything later.
Harry sighed in content, particularly as he felt Draco stroking his hair. As much as Harry wanted to stay awake to enjoy it, he was soon back asleep, secure in Draco's arms.
When Harry next woke, he felt safe and warm. And he was hearing voices.
"I'm telling you, Draco wouldn't have just climbed into bed with Harry unless Harry invited him," Blaise said insistently.
"But Draco would have gone to get Madam Pomfrey if Harry had finally woken up and she says that he didn't," Hermione argued.
"Besides," came Ron's wry tones, "Draco's been crawling into bed with him for months."
"But not since he was sixteen again," Pansy said, just as insistent as Blaise. "I agree with Blaise, I think Harry's finally woke up."
"How could I not wake up with you lot arguing away," Harry said petulantly.
"I'm with Harry," came Draco's drawling voice above Harry's head. "No one can sleep with you lot around."
"Harry!"
"You're awake!"
"How are you feeling?"
"Are you okay?"
"Are you in any pain?"
"Should I go get Madam Pomfrey?"
"Oh, we've been so worried!"
Harry wasn't sure who had said what exactly, so he just grinned up at them all. The joy at seeing his friends overwhelmed any questions he had about being in bed with Draco.
Draco snorted. "Do you lot think you could overwhelm him a little more? I don't think you've done it completely yet," he said sarcastically.
They all turned a bit sheepish and backed off a little, allowing Draco to sit up and help Harry to sit up as well.
They didn't have to summon Madam Pomfrey because she came bustling up with all the commotion. Seeing Harry awake, she promptly shooed Draco off the bed, sent all of Harry's friends to the other side of the screens around Harry's bed, and started running her tests over Harry.
After fifteen minutes, Harry finally had to ask. "So, will I survive?" he questioned sarcastically.
She glared at him. "Yes, you will survive once again, Mr. Potter." But then she softened a little. "Although I must admit you had us all worried there for a little while."
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "I didn't do it on purpose."
Madam Pomfrey smiled and shook her head ruefully. "You're going to be just fine. I'm going to have some breakfast sent up for you and I want you to eat the best you can. We've been feeding you nutrient potions but it's not the same and you've lost a fair amount of weight the last few weeks. Eat, but start out with small portions," she ordered.
Harry nodded dutifully. "Yes, ma'am."
She narrowed her eyes at him, but went on. "Your magical levels seem to be restored and overall you're healthy, but you're going to be a little stiff after being in bed for so long. I want you up and moving a little today, but I don't want you going too far," she said sternly. "You are to stay in the hospital wing for at least another day until you regain some of your strength back."
"Yes, ma'am," Harry said again, grinning at her.
"Hmpfh," she huffed at him. "I suppose I just have to take your compliance while it lasts."
Harry's grin didn't falter. They both knew it wouldn't be long before Harry was begging to be let out of there.
"I'll let the Headmaster know that you're awake," she said. "You may talk with your friends for a bit, but when your food arrives, I want you to remember to eat."
Madam Pomfrey bustled off and Harry's friends came poking their heads around the screens again. "Is it safe to come back yet?" Ron asked with a grin.
Harry returned the grin. "Yeah, she's gone for the moment to inform Dumbledore I'm awake. She said you could come back but I have to eat when my food gets here."
"Did she say you were all right?" Hermione asked worriedly.
Harry rolled his eyes. "I asked her if I'd survive and she agreed."
"Harry," Hermione admonished. "That's not funny. We've been worried about you."
Harry relented. "I'm sorry, Mione. Forgive me?" he asked, and held his arms out for a hug.
She huffed the same as Pomfrey had, but came and gave Harry a tight hug. Harry was mugged by Pansy next, both girls needing the physical reassurance. Ron and Blaise were just grinning at him from the foot of the bed. Draco had come around and sat down on the bed next to Harry.
Draco seemed to need to be close to Harry, and Harry wondered briefly if it was left over behavior from the four-year-old or if Draco could really want to be close to him now. No one else seemed to be questioning Draco's closeness. Harry really did want some more time to figure out what was going on there, but he wasn't given a chance to ponder over it as the other four started filling Harry in on everything that had been happening while he remained unconscious.
"So, Dumbledore announced that Hogwarts would have a celebration party as soon as you were well enough to attend," Pansy said excitedly.
"Yes, the whole school's been worried about you," Hermione added. "Everyone wants to celebrate, but I haven't heard a single person complain about waiting."
"Really?" Harry asked, feeling bemused by that idea.
"Really," Blaise said with a wry smile. "Even all the Slytherins are worried about you. We're just less vocal about it than some."
"Oh, Merlin!" Ron exclaimed. "You should see the Hufflepuffs break out in tears over you, mate. It's terrible, it is."
Harry started laughing with the others.
"Yes, it's a good thing you're awake, because we wouldn't want the Hufflepuffs flooding the place," Draco drawled. "They've been making such a fine effort and they've only been back for a few days."
The others were laughing even harder, but Draco's words sobered Harry. "I missed the holidays and Christmas, didn't I?"
The group quieted again as Draco nodded.
Harry's brow was furrowed in thought. "We were trying to finish Christmas shopping," he said quietly. "Then all that happened and then I just missed everything else. I was looking forward to Christmas this year."
"Actually, we have Christmas still waiting for you in our room -- well, what was our room -- down in Snape's quarters," Draco said softly.
Harry looked around at the others who were all nodding in agreement. He blinked. "You guys gave up your Christmas for me?" he whispered.
"No, we just postponed it for you," Hermione said quietly. "It didn't seem right to celebrate when you were lying up here unconscious. Professor Snape let us put all our presents there until you woke up."
"We've mainly been taking turns staying in here with you," Ron added.
"Or taking care of a very distraught four-year-old," Blaise said wryly.
Draco ducked his head sheepishly, his cheeks flushing, as Pansy, Ron and Hermione all nodded fervently in agreement with Blaise's comment.
"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly. "I said I'd take care of him and then ended up leaving you lot to do it."
Suddenly, there were five pairs of eyes, all glaring at Harry.
"What?!" Harry exclaimed.
Draco pinned him with smoky gray eyes. "Oh, you just take a brutal punishment from my father – we've been assuming it was from him -- then you kill off the Dark Lord. No one knows how you did it, but I heard you say you did it just because you loved me. You do all that, at least in part for me, and then you're going to worry because you were too injured to take care of me the last couple of weeks that I was a child?"
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "Yeah, I took my responsibility seriously."
"Argh!" Draco yelled in frustration. "Harry, you did far more for me than anyone ever has. No one is angry with you for not taking care of me as a child."
"But I also missed out on those last couple weeks," Harry said quietly, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. "I thought that might be all the time I had left with you and now I missed out on it," he said, not thinking about what he was admitting to the sixteen-year-old Draco. "And you weren't supposed to be sad and miserable as a child. You had enough of that the first time around."
Draco softened. "Harry, of course I was distraught. I was worried out of my mind for you, not miserable and scared like I was when I was a child. And worried like I was, I didn't know how to deal with it as a four-year-old."
Blaise and Ron both snorted while Pansy and Hermione were suddenly coughing. Harry looked at them curiously.
"What?" Draco snapped.
"You didn't know how to deal with your worry as a sixteen-year-old, either," Blaise retorted.
Once again, Draco's cheeks were flushed as he looked down. "Yes, well, the point I was trying to make was that it wasn't Harry's fault," Draco muttered.
"Well, he is right about that, Harry," Hermione said, the voice of practicality.
"Merlin, Harry!" Ron exclaimed. "You're only one person and you can only do so much. And at your worst you can do more than the rest of us, I think," Ron added ruefully.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked, sounding puzzled.
"He means, wonder boy, that you always give everything you have to whatever you set your mind to do," Draco drawled, recovered from his embarrassment.
Harry shrugged uncomfortably again.
"I have to agree with that," Dumbledore said kindly, startling them all.
Harry looked up to see not only Dumbledore, but Snape and McGonagall as well.
"How are you feeling, my boy?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry shrugged. "I'm fine. Just a little stiff mostly."
"I'm glad to hear that. We've all been quite worried about you," Dumbledore said.
"So I've heard," Harry said with a wry smile. "I've heard by waking up I've now saved Hogwarts from flooding due to Hufflepuff's tears."
Snape snorted loudly, McGonagall's stern mask slipped as her lips started twitching, all Harry's friends were sniggering, and Dumbledore was smiling widely.
"Indeed you have, Harry," Dumbledore managed to say sagely.
Harry shook his head in wry amusement.
Dumbledore sobered. "Harry, perhaps you can tell us now exactly what happened? At this point, we still know little more than what Draco was able to tell us. Other than that, I was able to confirm Voldemort's true death this time. Everything else is unknown."
"Yes, and what I knew was pretty limited considering I was told to keep my eyes shut the whole time," Draco said wryly.
"Well, I didn't want you to see me killing your father," Harry protested. "And I didn't want you seeing him afterwards, either."
Draco looked at him. "And I'm grateful. A four-year-old should never see something like that. But it still means I don't know that much about what happened."
Harry sighed and looked at his hands in his lap. He realized he was twisting his hands much like Draco had the night before but couldn't seem to stop himself. Harry swallowed heavily.
"Um, I thought I was protecting Draco," Harry began uncomfortably. "I saw Lucius holding out the Portkey and ordering Draco to take it, and I grabbed it instead."
Harry waited for the "foolish Gryffindor" comments, but none were forthcoming so he forged ahead. "The Portkey dropped us in Malfoy Manor, but he knocked me out first thing. I actually don't remember receiving any of the . . . beating."
"You mean torture," Draco snapped angrily. "My father tortured you without mercy."
Harry glanced up at Draco through his lashes. "Yeah, torture," Harry agreed, before looking back down at his hands. He was startled when Draco's hand took one of his own and squeezed it tightly in a show of support. Once again, Harry glanced up at Draco through his lashes, but quickly dropped his gaze to their joined hands.
The others remained silent, waiting patiently, allowing the two boys to work through this at their own pace and in their own way.
Harry swallowed audibly. "What I meant was that he kept me unconscious for all of it. I was never awake to be able to remember any of the . . . torture," Harry explained. "Um, when I finally regained consciousness I was . . . well, I was chained up in the dungeons."
Draco's hand was squeezing his so tightly that it was beginning to hurt. Harry rested his other hand on top of Draco's, causing Draco to relax his grip slightly.
"Sorry," Draco mumbled.
"Don't be," Harry said softly. "Do you really want to hear this?"
Harry didn't dare look at Draco but he could hear him sigh and he felt Draco's grip tightening again for a moment before loosening, although not letting go.
"Yes," Draco whispered.
Harry nodded. "Er, I was in quite a bit of pain," he admitted reluctantly. "I can't say I was really scared, though. Um, I was angry because of where I was."
Draco's grip tightened once again and Harry squeezed back. "It finally dawned on me why Lucius hadn't kept me conscious for any of it," Harry said.
"Because he was afraid of you," Snape said knowingly.
Harry looked up at him and nodded. "That's what I finally decided. He wanted to torture me and he wanted me weakened, but he didn't want to take any chance that I'd be able to get away. It was right after that when I started thinking about you, sir," Harry said, looking at Snape still.
Snape arched an eyebrow in surprise.
"I thought of you more than once during that whole ordeal and I was thankful that you'd always pushed me so hard," Harry admitted. "It's a lot harder to perform under pressure than it is in the classroom or even in my training."
Snape nodded his head in acknowledgement.
Harry looked back down at his and Draco's joined hands. "Anyway, I focused my magic like you taught me until I could get myself free from the chains," Harry said quietly. He snorted. "Although, then I wondered why the hell I wanted down in the first place because dropping to the floor hurt like fucking hell. I think it was my screaming that brought Lucius back actually."
Harry took a deep breath, trying to calm down again. "He didn't do anything else to me, though. He told me I hadn't been able to save Draco and then Portkeyed us out of there almost immediately. So, I was dropped into a screaming heap again in the middle of that fucking graveyard," Harry said bitterly. "Merlin, I hate that place."
"Yet fitting that Voldemort should die there by your hand, where he had once used you to regain his body," Dumbledore said wisely.
Harry looked up at Dumbledore, startled. He hadn't thought of it that way. Harry shook his head, trying to clear it. "Draco's probably already told you the rest of it," he said quietly.
Snape snorted quietly. "The four-year-old you ordered to keep his eyes closed as he was sobbing didn't quite get the whole picture," he said dryly.
Harry glanced at Draco. "Do you think he was putting me down or putting you down?" Harry asked with a slight grin.
Draco gave him a wry smirk. "I think he was being obnoxious to the both of us actually."
Harry chuckled lightly. He needed that bit of levity. Snape seemed to recognize it, too, because he made no further comment.
Harry grew silent, completely unsure of how to explain exactly what had happened. He'd been in so much pain by then and some of his memories seemed pretty hazy. He really didn't even understand exactly how things had played out with Voldemort at the end.
"Perhaps, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly. "It would be easier for you to put the memory into a Pensieve."
Harry looked up at him sharply. "How could it be easier to allow everyone to see that?"
"Not everyone," Dumbledore said, shaking his head. "Only those who are here now."
"Buy why?" Harry asked plaintively. "I mean, I can understand you needing to see exactly what happened. And Snape has the right to see more than almost anyone," he admitted, earning a look of satisfaction from Snape.
"Maybe McGonagall should see because . . . well, I don't know why. But Draco shouldn't have to see that," Harry exclaimed in protest. "And what about Hermione and Ron and Pansy and Blaise? They shouldn't have to be tortured with images of what happened."
"I want to see," Draco whispered.
"Draco, no!" Harry protested. "I tried to keep you from seeing it in the first place for a reason."
Draco took a deep breath. "I know that and I'm still grateful because I had enough trouble trying to handle it as a four-year-old. But I need to know now. I need to be able to see and hear everything that actually happened."
"But why?" Harry asked, still desperately wanting to protest.
"Closure," Draco said quietly, effectively halting any more of Harry's protests with that one simple word. "I need to actually see that it's all finally over."
Harry closed his eyes tightly.
Blaise's quiet voice broke into the ensuing silence. "Harry, it's not closure in nearly the same way for us as it is for you and Draco." He paused, trying to search for words to express what he was trying to say. "I'd like to see what finally brought things to an end, yes. It's important to us, too. But more than anything, I think we want to be able to see what actually happened so that we can understand better and so that we can be there for you and Draco."
"You won't like what you see," Harry said miserably. "Or hear," he muttered.
McGonagall slipped back in, handing a Pensieve to Dumbledore. Harry hadn't even realized that she'd left.
Dumbledore set the Pensieve carefully in the center of the bed and instructed Harry on how to retrieve the memory and place it in the Pensieve. Dumbledore swirled his wand in the silvery tendrils to begin the memory.
"You're all going to hate me," Harry murmured quietly as the memory began with him landing in the middle of the graveyard. He didn't see how any of them would accept him if they watched him coldly murdering people.
More than one person glanced sharply at Harry, but didn't comment as they became riveted to the image being portrayed, floating above the Pensieve. For there was an extremely broken and bloodied Harry in tattered clothing screaming in pain with a four-year-old Draco crying hysterically next to him.
Harry tried to pull his hand from Draco's, but Draco wasn't allowing him to pull away. Draco simply gripped his hand tighter as his eyes focused on the scene playing out before him.
Harry watched, but without the single-minded focus of the others. He'd been there. He'd lived it and wasn't particularly enjoying reliving it. He watched more with a feeling of detached impassiveness, attempting to block out the horror of it all.
"Oh my, how can he even move?" Hermione was muttering to herself, her face an expression of horror.
Moments later, Harry could hear McGonagall muttering to herself as well. "He's showing absolutely no fear," she said in amazement.
Harry wondered if this would be a trend through the whole thing. He wasn't sure if they even realized they were voicing their thoughts aloud.
"Harry's strategizing," came Ron's whispered words. "You can see it on his face as You-Know-Who's going off ranting."
Draco flinched as he watched his four-year-old self being snatched from Harry's arms and without thinking, Harry automatically brought his free hand up to rub Draco's back, just as he'd been doing for months when Draco was upset. It didn't seem to matter that Draco was sixteen instead of four now.
All of them but Harry flinched when Voldemort cast Crucio on Harry and watched in horror the agony that Harry was going through, his tortured screams echoing in the hospital wing.
When Lucius was ordered to punish Draco and calmly set about doing just that, Draco's grip tightened painfully on Harry's hand, but Harry didn't protest. Rather, Harry ducked his head, knowing what was to come and wishing he didn't have to hear it.
Harry brought his eyes up again, unable not to watch. He listened as he told Lucius of the promises he'd made.
"Thank you," Snape whispered, as he heard Harry mention to Lucius that he'd promised Draco's godfather that he'd kill him. Harry flicked his gaze to the man, but Snape was still watching intently the image floating above the Pensieve.
Harry could feel Draco start shaking uncontrollably and wasn't sure if he should offer comfort or move as far away as possible. Draco solved Harry's dilemma by practically crawling into Harry's lap, even as his eyes remained glued to the horror of Harry killing first his father and then his aunt.
Draco may have been a lot bigger now, but that didn't stop Harry from wrapping his arms tightly around Draco, hugging him close and rocking him slightly.
"You finally learned the power of love that you hold, my boy," Dumbledore murmured quietly.
Harry heard the gasps as they watched his magic slam into Voldemort and destroy him. He hadn't ended the memory there and wished that he had, but unfortunately, he hadn't ended it until the Portkey had taken them out of there, so Harry was forced to watch still along with the others.
"Harry should've collapsed right then," Blaise said in awe.
"But he still had to get Draco to safety," came the quiet response from Pansy.
Finally, the scene faded and Draco buried his face in Harry's neck. Harry held him and rubbed his back in silence, allowing Draco to cry, even as his own tears coursed down his cheeks.
Glancing around at the group, Harry realized that they were all crying. Even Snape had a tear tracking down his cheek.
Harry shut them all out again by closing his eyes and laying his head atop Draco's. He heard quiet shuffling and realized they were all leaving.
"Rest, my boys," Dumbledore spoke quietly. "You've more than earned it."
A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! I'm certain it's gone a little differently than many of you were expecting. Draco's behavior is definitely confusing Harry at the moment, but it'll get explained in the next chapter. Many of you were hoping for Christmas, and you'll still get to read a little about their Christmas celebration. It just won't be with the four-year-old Draco! There are two more chapters left—or rather, one more chapter and then the epilogue. The next chapter is titled "Getting Together" and hopefully all remaining questions will be answered. Harry and Draco definitely still have a few issues to work through! Thank you for continuing to read and thank you for all the wonderful reviews! ~~Biza
Chapter 20: Getting Together
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: Many thanks to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke!
Chapter 20: Getting Together
Harry opened his eyes only to blink uncomprehendingly into silver eyes staring back at him from close range. He really needed to wake up normally once in a while. Although this might not be so bad, he decided, depending on why exactly Draco was staring at him so intensely.
"Draco?" Harry whispered.
Draco blinked, charcoal lashes fluttering down then back up again. Slowly, ever so slowly, Draco closed the last few inches between them and gently pressed his lips to Harry's, charcoal lashes fluttering closed.
Harry's own dark lashes closed over emerald eyes as he moaned lightly at the sensual feeling of Draco's smooth lips finally touching his own the way he'd wanted for so long. Harry gasped, parting his lips as Draco's tongue flicked lightly against them.
Harry had loved the four-year-old, but he'd really wanted the sixteen-year-old back. The feelings coursing through his body were so much better than he'd imagined. He tentatively flicked his tongue to touch Draco's, hoping not to scare him away. Harry couldn't hold back the moan that escaped at that first hesitant touch, however.
Rather than scaring him away, Draco increased the pressure of the kiss, releasing his own quiet moan into Harry's mouth. Harry snaked his hands up to twine in Draco's silky hair, as Draco's hands moved to cup Harry's face. Gently, they explored each other's mouths before Draco pulled back, panting lightly and staring at Harry wide-eyed.
Harry swallowed, staring up into those silver eyes. He wasn't sure what to say, if anything. He didn't have a clue as to where Draco was going with this, but he sure as hell didn't want to say anything that would scare him away.
Draco had been kneeling on the bed, Harry realized, as Draco slowly sat upright again.
"Draco?" Harry whispered again, not able to keep himself from calling his name.
"You love me," Draco whispered, and Harry realized it wasn't a question.
Harry closed his eyes. It wasn't exactly like this was a secret. "Yes," he whispered back, trying to mentally prepare himself to be rejected.
"I don't know what to do," Draco said quietly.
Harry sighed and turned his head to the side. "I never expected you to love me back, Draco. I knew the day would come when you'd grow up and remember everything again. You don't seem to hate me anymore, at least."
"Harry, you don't understand," Draco said.
Harry snorted. "What's there to understand?" he asked bitterly. "I suppose you're grateful or something because I was taking care of you. You don't seem to be angry with me for killing your father, and I admit I'm not sure I understand that, but maybe you're grateful for that, too, in a way. Voldemort's gone and you're free now. Neither one of them can hurt you anymore."
He could feel the tears beginning to burn behind his eyelids. "You're free, Draco. You're free from them and you're free from me. You're sixteen again and you don't need me anymore. Just go away and leave me alone. I really don't want some misplaced gratitude, or worse, your pity."
Harry rolled over in the bed, turning his back on Draco. He really didn't want to face Draco. He'd known it would come. Somehow this moment had gotten put off temporarily, but still it had come.
"Idiot Gryffindors," Draco muttered.
And the tears came, regardless of how hard Harry was trying to hold them back. He buried his face in the pillows and gave up even trying to stop them.
Harry felt the hand on his shoulder but tried to shrug it off angrily. It didn't do any good, though, as he felt Draco lay down and spoon up behind him.
"Go away," Harry shouted into his pillow, his words muffled.
"Harry," Draco called. "Come on, Harry. Listen to me."
"No more, Draco," Harry moaned miserably. He wasn't sure how much more stress he could take at the moment. He didn't want Draco fucking with his feelings any more. From fabulous kisses to the same old insults. There was so much to sort out and he'd had no time to think. He simply wanted to be left alone. "Just . . . no more."
"I didn't mean it like that, Harry. I swear. Let me explain, please," Draco begged.
Harry pushed himself away from Draco and twisted onto his back abruptly so he could glare at Draco. He would've leapt from the bed if he thought he was capable of it.
"Tell me, Draco. How could you mean it? I fucking know I'm a foolish Gryffindor. I don't really need you here rubbing that fact in at the moment," Harry said angrily, tears streaming down his face. "I've fucking made a fool out of myself. I know it. You know it. Hell, the whole fucking Wizarding world probably knows it."
He rolled suddenly to get up off the bed and away from Draco, not caring anymore whether his body was capable of it or not.
"Harry!" Draco exclaimed anxiously. "Stop!"
Too late. Harry's legs collapsed under him, weakened from lying in a hospital bed for three weeks. Harry fell to the floor and simply didn't care. He curled up into a ball, sobbing miserably, the whole situation finally overwhelming him. He didn't even resist as Draco pulled him onto his lap, rocking him and soothing him, their situations reversed for once.
"Harry, I'm so sorry," Draco said anxiously. "I really didn't mean you were an idiot. It's just automatic. I swear. I just knew you weren't understanding me, but it wasn't your fault. It was my fault. All my fault," Draco trailed off quietly, his words seeming to have no effect on the sobbing boy in his arms.
"Oh gods, Harry, I'm so sorry," he repeated. "I don't know what to do."
Harry heard him, but it wasn't really making any sense to him. Gradually Harry calmed down again. All he really understood was that Draco hadn't left and Draco was actually holding him in his arms.
"Are you all right?" Draco asked quietly.
Harry nodded jerkily. "Sorry," he mumbled.
Draco snorted. "Sorry for what? You haven't done anything wrong."
Harry shrugged uncomfortably.
"I'm the one who's sorry," Draco muttered miserably.
"No, I overreacted," Harry admitted quietly. "Everything's just caught up to me, I guess."
"You've been through a lot," Draco said. "I just screwed things up again. It's one of the privileges of being a Malfoy," he sneered.
"Draco," Harry started to reassure him.
"No, Harry," Draco stopped him. "Let me just say this. Please?"
Harry tensed for a moment, intending to protest, but then he relaxed slightly and nodded. He didn't think Malfoys ever said "please", and Harry didn't want to discourage Draco if he was going to start. He thought it would be quite nice to hear Draco say "please" more often.
Draco sighed wearily before he began. "You're always the one who fixes things, and I don't know what to do. I don't think anyone's ever loved me before, and certainly not like you do. You give your all to everything you do, but I don't know how, Harry." He paused briefly before continuing. "It was easy when I was only four. I just loved you and that's all there was to it. There wasn't the self-doubt or the wondering why you'd love me. I just knew it and accepted it and loved you back. It was that easy."
Harry watched him warily, unsure if he should be feeling hopeful with what Draco was saying.
"But how do I know if I really love you now? I mean, you were like the parent I never truly had. But now you're so not a parent to me. I'm trying to figure out how to separate those feelings. Although, I suppose it's really not that hard. You are so far removed from a parent in my mind, despite having you take care of me the last few months," Draco said wryly.
Harry remained silent, hardly daring to breathe in case it stopped Draco from speaking.
"I'm just confused," Draco said. "I mean, I had four months to get to know you, but I was only four years old at the time. I've only had a week to get to know you as a sixteen-year-old and try to mix in my old memories with everything new."
Unable to hold it back, Harry let out a slightly hysterical sounding bark of laughter. "I've been unconscious all week, so how could you get to know me anyway?"
"Your journal," Draco said quietly.
Harry's head whipped up and he began scrambling backwards, or at least trying to.
"Harry, please," Draco begged, not releasing his hold on Harry.
"I wasn't going to give you that," Harry said, obviously panicked.
"Severus gave it to me my second night sitting here with you once I was back to normal," Draco said quickly, trying to explain.
Harry's eyes flashed dangerously. "He had no right to give it to you. It wasn't his to give."
"He didn't read it himself, if that's what you're worried about," Draco said hurriedly. "He just knew I was upset and . . . and, well, I was getting kind of hysterical, thinking you were going to die," Draco admitted sheepishly, his cheeks flushing a light pink. "Severus gave it to me so I could understand you and so I'd have something to focus on. I've been reading it all week."
Harry dropped his head in his hands. "Gods, no wonder you called me an idiot Gryffindor," he said miserably.
"Harry, I don't really think that at all," Draco said, beseeching Harry to understand. "I just said it without thinking. I was frustrated because I didn't know how to tell you how I was feeling or what I was thinking."
Harry looked up at him through lashes still sparkling with tears, not sure of what to say.
"I'm a Malfoy," Draco said, his tone very much indicating that he didn't consider that to be a good thing, at least not at the moment. "I'm not supposed to show emotion. I'm not supposed to let others know what I'm thinking."
Harry reached his hand up and lightly touched Draco's cheek, wet from Draco's own tears. "You seem to be doing all right at the moment," Harry said softly.
Draco snorted softly. "Yes, I'm doing so well that I sent you trying to run," he said sarcastically.
"That's my fault, Draco. I told you that," Harry said quietly. "I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by everything."
"I certainly understand that," Draco drawled in agreement.
"Do you . . .?" Harry trailed off, not sure of what he really wanted to ask.
"Do I . . . what?" Draco asked. "Do I want to figure out how to let go of my past? Do I want to try to have a relationship with you? Do I want to kiss you again?"
Harry looked at him wide-eyed.
Draco gave him a slight smile. "The answer is yes."
"Really?" Harry whispered.
Draco smirked at him. "Yes, really. So can I?" he asked.
Harry looked at him in confusion. "Can you what?"
"Kiss you again," Draco clarified, his tone soft.
"Oh." Harry smiled. "Yes."
The kisses were just as sweet as that first one had been as they gently explored this new aspect of their relationship. Several minutes later, Draco and Harry broke apart at the sudden shriek that cut through the air.
"What are you two doing down on the floor?" Madam Pomfrey asked, hands on hips.
Harry and Draco looked up at her sheepishly, cheeks flushing.
"Mr. Potter, you are to stay in bed. Get back there immediately," she demanded.
Harry made to scramble up and Draco hurried to help him, both boys keeping their gaze diverted from Madam Pomfrey and therefore missing the smile that flashed across her features.
When Harry was safely tucked back in bed with Draco sitting on top of the covers on the edge of the bed, they dared to look back at her again. The stern expression was back as she began running her spells over Harry.
"Mr. Potter? Have you bothered to eat anything yet?" she asked, demanding an answer.
"Um, no," Harry admitted.
"I didn't think so," she muttered, disappearing behind the screens and returning moments later bearing two trays.
"And you, Mr. Malfoy," she turned her glare on him. "I know you have not been eating this last week, either. I want both of you to eat. Now!" she commanded.
Both of them dug into their meals without argument. Afterwards, Draco took their trays and set them aside before crawling into bed with Harry. Draco snuggled up close to him. Harry had to wonder how much of Draco's behavior was affected from the time he was a four-year-old. He doubted that Draco had been much of a snuggler before. He wasn't about to ask, though, since he was enjoying it so much.
Harry had closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth and comfort of lying with Draco. Suddenly, his eyes popped back open. "You know," Harry began. "She didn't even comment on catching us kissing. She just yelled because I was out of bed and we were on the floor."
"You're right," Draco said thoughtfully. "And she hasn't tried to kick me out of the hospital wing yet, let alone your bed."
"No one's said anything, have they?" Harry asked in puzzlement.
"No," Draco said.
"Not that I want them to argue with it, but why haven't they?" Harry wondered.
"Harry, I think you can do pretty much whatever you want to at this point," Draco said dryly. "You saved the Wizarding world. Remember?"
"Oh," Harry said.
Draco chuckled lightly. "I think there may be some advantages I hadn't thought of to dating the Golden Boy."
Harry paused. "Are you my boyfriend now?" he asked.
"Yeah, I guess so," Draco answered softly.
"Good," Harry answered simply.
"I bet Severus is pretty angry with me. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything to me yet," Harry said.
They had been sitting there quietly for quite awhile, lost in their own thoughts, each trying to come to terms with all the things that had been happening.
Draco looked at Harry curiously, his brow furrowed. "Why would Severus be angry with you?"
Harry shrugged. "Because I got us both captured in the first place. I don't know how much you really remember, but he hadn't wanted to let us go to Hogsmeade in the first place. Getting captured just proved that he was right that we shouldn't have gone."
Draco was snickering and Harry stopped talking, with his brow now furrowed and looking at Draco curiously.
"Well, for one, I remember everything just fine and despite the fact that it feels like ages since I was begging Severus to let us go to Hogsmeade, I remember it clearly," Draco said, still having trouble controlling his sniggering.
Harry couldn't figure out what Draco was finding so funny. He was glad Draco could remember everything for his sake, although Harry could happily have Draco forget a few things from the last few months—like all the nights spent in nightmare discussions.
Draco took pity, seeing Harry's baffled expression, and began to tell him exactly what he found to be so funny. "Harry, Severus isn't angry with you at all. He was absolutely furious with Dumbledore, though. Once you were somewhat stabilized after we got back to Hogwarts that night, Severus completely and totally went off on Dumbledore."
Harry went wide-eyed. "Are you serious? He yelled at Dumbledore?"
Draco went from snickering to outright laughter. "Oh, Merlin! He ranted, he screamed, he cursed, he punched the wall a few times. I swear he took a page from your book," Draco said, having trouble talking through his laughter. "It was rather awe-inspiring," he declared.
"Why would he do that?" Harry asked, still sounding bemused by the mental pictures now playing in his head.
"Oh, Harry, you can be so clueless sometimes, can't you?" Draco drawled, now mostly recovered from his laughter.
Harry shot him a glare. "I can understand why Severus would be upset that you were captured, but I thought you weren't injured that badly. I just can't picture him losing total control like you're trying to tell me he did."
Draco shook his head in exasperation. "Harry, he wasn't just upset about me. He was worried as all fuck about you, too. When he went off on Dumbledore, we had absolutely no idea if you were going to be okay or not. You were lying here in this bed and despite all the healing spells and potions poured down your throat, you still looked a right mess."
"He was worried that much about me?" Harry asked.
"Yes!" Draco exclaimed. "He was furious with himself that he had allowed us to go and hadn't at least gone with us. I think he was angry with us, too, but not nearly as much. You, because you'd allowed me out of your sight and me, because I'd wandered off. It wasn't until later that we were able to piece together that it had only been a few seconds and my father had cast some kind of spell to lure me away. But anyway, mostly Severus was furious that Dumbledore had allowed the Hogsmeade visit in the first place."
Draco's gaze went unfocused as he continued, remembering the argument in question. "He went off on Dumbledore about a lot of things. It was almost funny, because no one else there even tried to stop him. I think everyone felt that Dumbledore deserved the tongue-lashing Severus gave him, including Dumbledore himself."
"What all would Severus be yelling at him for besides allowing the Hogsmeade visit?" Harry questioned, trying to piece this puzzle together in his mind and feeling like he was missing a lot of pieces.
"He shouted at Dumbledore for allowing us to go, for putting so much pressure on you, for leaving you with the Dursleys, for making you go back there every year," Draco said, listing some of the things Snape had ranted about. Then he started laughing again. "Oh, Merlin! I didn't understand a lot of it at the time, but especially after reading your journal, his ranting made so much more sense."
Harry looked uncomfortable again at the reminder of his journal, but Draco didn't notice as he was caught up in his laughter. "Oh, Harry, we'll have to get a hold of a pensieve so I can actually show you, because you're never going to believe me."
"Believe what?" Harry asked, looking at Draco now like he'd totally lost it.
Draco's eyes were sparkling with glee. "Severus was so lost in his ranting that he ended up defending Sirius Black for you."
"What?!" Harry exclaimed. "Severus absolutely loathed Sirius."
"I know," Draco said, still snickering. "He's already threatened each of us that heard him with bodily harm if we ever dare mention what he said."
"What the fuck would he have said about Sirius?" Harry asked in bewilderment.
"He went off, saying that Dumbledore should have kept Sirius closer to Hogwarts for you. He shouted that Dumbledore should have actually warned you that you would likely be lured to the Department of Mysteries. He ranted because Dumbledore had forbidden him and everyone else from telling you anything." Draco paused and turned more serious. "He was also angry because he said you should've had someone besides himself looking out for you," he added quietly. "He actually shouted that Sirius should've been here for you."
Harry was blinking furiously, trying to take all that in. "Wow," he breathed. "No wonder he threatened everyone with bodily harm."
Harry knew it was going to be awhile before he could truly comprehend everything that had happened, and he was fairly certain that he'd never get Severus figured out. The man was quite good at confusing Harry.
Draco smirked at Harry. "I don't know if you'll ever get him to admit it, but Severus has grown quite fond of you."
Harry shrugged. "The man still confuses the fuck out of me, but I don't know what I'd do without him," he admitted quietly. "I really don't think I'd be sitting here alive today, that's for sure."
"And he gave me your journal," Draco said softly.
Harry laid back into the pillows and threw his arm over his face in embarrassment. "Talk about the man confusing me," he muttered. "He knew I was going to redo that before giving it to you, yet he gives it to you anyway."
"Maybe he was betraying your confidence and maybe he was taking a bit of a risk, but I think he did the right thing," Draco said quietly. "I'm his godson, but I'm honestly not sure if he did it more for my sake or for yours."
Harry brought his arm up to rest behind his head so he could look at Draco. "What do you mean?" Harry asked curiously.
Draco shrugged. "I don't know if he was giving you to me or if he was giving me to you," he said, not exactly clearing things up, but he went on to explain. "That journal is everything about you. Not just from the last four months, either. You write about practically your whole life in there," he said quietly.
Harry groaned and put his arm back over his eyes, his face flushed with embarrassment.
"Don't be embarrassed," Draco said softly. "It allowed me to get to know you. I probably know you better than anybody else now actually."
Harry just groaned again, not sure if he really wanted to hear what else Draco had to say or not.
"I don't know if Severus realized the true extent of everything you've written, but I'm sure he knew that he was giving me something that would help me to understand you," Draco continued. "So, in a way, he gave you to me. Or rather, he passed on the gift that you've given me."
Harry remained silent, not at all sure what to say. He knew very well that he'd put his heart and soul into the pages of that journal. He just didn't know how Draco felt about all of it.
Draco gently pried Harry's arm away from his face and smiled at him gently. "Harry, it's the most amazing gift that anyone's ever given me."
Harry stared at him, rendered speechless at the intensity of Draco's gaze now, rather than remaining quiet due to his own embarrassment.
"Severus knew how you felt about me. I admit I was horribly confused right after I took the potion that returned me to normal." Draco rolled his eyes at himself. "Okay, so I've been somewhat confused the entire time since I took it," he admitted. "But confused or not, I wasn't exactly hiding my worry for you," Draco said quietly. "Like I said, I, well, I got a little bit hysterical that one night. I was so afraid that you were going to die."
Harry tilted his head to the side, studying Draco with his cheeks flushed pink again at his admission. "I can't picture you hysterical in any way, least of all over me," he said.
"Yes, well, neither could Severus," Draco said dryly. "But I think that's when he decided that there might be a chance of . . . encouraging me, by giving me your journal to read, so that he could help give you what you wanted most."
"I wanted you," Harry whispered.
Draco smirked lightly. "Believe me, after reading your journal, I have absolutely no doubt of that."
Harry flushed yet again. "Why do I have the feeling I'm never going to live down everything that I wrote?"
Draco smiled. "There's nothing to live down. It's all just . . . you. It's who you are, and it's absolutely amazing."
"Really?" Harry asked, his eyes sparkling with hope.
"Really," Draco said, his own eyes sparkling with hope and laughter.
Harry finally smiled again at Draco. "I think you're amazing, too."
Draco shifted on the bed to curl up next to Harry. "I think we would've ended up together eventually, but we'll have to thank Severus for helping us to sort things out faster. Merlin knows how long it would've taken me to sort things out on my own, and without your journal," Draco added.
"Oh, no!" Harry declared. "I'm not going to screw things up by trying to thank him. I'd botch it all up somehow. If you want to thank him, then you can do it yourself."
Draco snickered. "I think you do have a better way with words when you write them, rather than when you try to speak them."
"Hmpfh," Harry huffed. "If you want me to be perfect, then we're in a lot of trouble."
Draco lifted his head from Harry's shoulder and gave Harry a tender kiss that took his breath away. "You're perfect just the way you are," Draco declared. Then he smirked at Harry. "Imperfections and all."
Harry had been caught up in the moment and was startled into laughter at Draco's last words. "It's good to know that you're still you," Harry said with a roll of his eyes, but his voice full of amusement.
Draco dropped his head back to Harry's shoulder and his tone was serious when he spoke again. "After reading your journal, I almost have to wonder if you know me better than I know myself," he said quietly. "But I think I need to tell you about all the things that have made me who I am now and fill in all the blanks of my life that you don't know about—like what you've done for me with your journal."
Harry hugged him tightly. "I'd love to hear anything you're willing to tell me about yourself," he said quietly.
Wrapped up safely in each other's arms, Draco began to talk and Harry listened. Neither boy noticed when Severus slipped quietly out of the hospital wing, a smug, yet warm, smile gracing his features.
Chapter 21: Epilogue
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company are property of J.K. Rowling.Betas: I owe a debt of gratitude to SilentAuror and thrnbrooke for helping me with this fic. It would not have been the same without them. I have learned so much while writing this, and I thank them for all their help, support and encouragement.
Chapter 21: Epilogue
"You do realize that Draco is seventeen now and quite old enough to go off on his own, don't you?" Blaise asked Harry in obvious amusement.
"Of course I do," Harry declared. "I simply thought you were my friends, too, and I decided to come see you as well this evening."
"He's lying. I actually forced him to come because I knew I would need a comfortable pillow," Draco drawled from his position of lying on the couch, his head in Harry's lap.
Harry grinned, carding his fingers through Draco's hair, as Pansy and Blaise outright laughed at them. Crabbe and Goyle were watching all of them, and judging by their grins, they were amused as well.
They were currently camped out in the Slytherin common room, visiting with some of their friends on a Saturday evening. The teasing had become a regular thing because Draco and Harry were almost as inseparable now as they had been when Draco was only a four-year-old.
It had been several months already since Harry had woken up in the hospital wing, and the year was almost over. Harry and Draco still had their moments, but they were both happy and weren't ashamed of that fact.
Draco, the cunning Slytherin raised with a political background, helped Harry get through the trying times of all the press and publicity surrounding his defeat of Voldemort. Generally, either Draco would make the statements himself or else he would write Harry's speeches for him. On the few occasions that Harry had actually been forced to go out in public, Draco handled everything.
Given the circumstances of Voldemort's defeat, with Harry's love for Draco essentially ending the war, not too many people questioned their relationship.
Everyone in Hogwarts was especially supportive. Over the first half of the year, everyone had become used to Harry defending Draco and they'd become comfortable with Draco Malfoy. That, surprisingly, hadn't changed when Draco was back to his sixteen-year-old self.
Maybe it had something to do with Harry defeating Voldemort. Maybe it had to do with people being afraid of what Harry would do to them if they dared to cross him, because certainly there were more than a few that were afraid of Harry.
Maybe it had something to do with Draco Malfoy's changed attitudes. He didn't spout off about Mudbloods anymore and he didn't go around terrorizing the Hufflepuffs—well, not as often anyway. He could still be snooty when he chose to be and he was definitely still the vainest person in Hogwarts, but overall he was a whole lot friendlier than he'd ever been in the past.
Then again, maybe everyone was supportive of Harry and Draco's relationship because they were so obviously happy together. They were practically inseparable and they were always affectionate with each other. Not everyone knew that they'd both been starved for attention when they were little and they were doing their best to make up for lost time. But it was clear to everyone that they were happy and to most people that was all that mattered.
When things got to be too much for either, or both of them, to handle, they would retreat to their room in Severus' quarters. Severus had given them the option to keep the room for their own privacy and they had accepted it gladly.
They still made regular visits to both the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms to meet up with their friends, though. Exactly as they were currently doing.
"So, do you two have any idea of where you go from here?" Pansy asked them curiously.
"What do you mean?" Draco asked, frowning at her.
Pansy shrugged. "I guess I'm just wondering what will happen this summer. Malfoy Manor is yours now, but I know you don't want to live there again."
Draco and Harry both shuddered at that thought. Neither one of them wanted to live there, especially not Draco.
"No, I'm definitely not going to live there ever again," Draco declared.
"So where are you going to live?" Blaise asked curiously. "I know Harry has no intentions of going back to live with his relatives, either."
"Nope, never going to live there again," Harry agreed.
"Well, then, where are you two going to live?" Pansy asked impatiently.
Harry looked down at Draco. "Should we tell them?" he asked.
"I don't see why not," Draco said in agreement.
Harry looked back up at their friends. "Over Easter holidays, we went through our families' vaults and all the paperwork and stuff."
"'Paperwork and stuff' he says," Draco grumbled. "Doesn't have a financial bone in his entire Gryffindor body."
Harry grinned. "Nope, I leave all that up to you, angel," he said agreeably.
Pansy and Blaise were shaking their heads at them again.
"As I was saying, we were going through all that stuff over break," Harry said, still smiling. "Well, we came across several property deeds that we own, and we . . . well, we agreed on the one where we're going to make our home," he finished quietly.
Draco smiled up at him softly with that sweet smile that he reserved just for Harry and made half the girls swoon whenever they saw him smiling at Harry that way.
"We made the arrangements to rebuild in Godric's Hollow where Harry's parents lived," Draco said to their Slytherin friends, even while he was still looking at Harry.
"Really?" Pansy breathed.
Draco glanced over at her. "Yes, really," he smirked. "Everything should be finished there and ready to move in by the time school gets out."
"But Harry won't even be of age yet," Blaise protested. "Are you two saying you're going to be moving in together by yourselves?"
"Neither one of us have parents anymore, in case you didn't notice," Draco said snidely.
"Draco," Harry chided. "Play nice."
Draco looked up at him and sneered. "What if I don't want to?"
A wicked smirk spread across Harry's features. "Then you know I'll punish you later."
Draco's eyes took on a sinful gleam. "I'll hold you to that promise."
"Enough already!" Blaise protested. "And I didn't mean to upset you. Or irritate you," Blaise said quickly, noticing Draco's glare. "I just meant that you've barely turned seventeen which is the age of majority, but Harry still won't even be turning seventeen until the end of July. I just didn't think that anyone would allow it."
Harry shrugged. "I'm not really giving them any choice."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Yes, we're still discovering some of his advantages to saving the entire Wizarding world."
Harry grinned sheepishly. "Well, you keep telling me I should take advantage of my fame sometimes, and this time I'm choosing to. Besides, Severus is already threatening to move in with us for this summer anyway," he added.
Draco snorted. "Yes. Says he has to so that he can keep an eye on us and keep us out of trouble, at least until after we finish school next year."
"See, I knew they wouldn't all just let you two live alone," Blaise said smugly.
"Yeah, yeah," Draco said dismissively. "It's still our house."
"I don't really mind him living there with us anyway," Harry said quietly. Then he furrowed his brow. "Although, if someone had told me a year ago that I would ever say that, I would've laughed in their face before I hexed them."
The others started laughing. "Things have really changed a lot this year, haven't they?" Pansy said, still laughing.
Harry stared at her for a moment, and his eyes went unfocused as he thought back to their Christmas celebration that had taken place in January, right after he'd been released from the hospital. Pansy was right that a lot of things had changed, but somehow, that day in particular signified a lot of the changes for Harry.
Begin Flashback * *
"You two are really going to stay in this room together then?" Ron asked.
"Yes," Harry said, looking at Ron a bit nervously. He didn't want Ron upset that he wasn't going to move back to Gryffindor tower as Ron had assumed was the original plan.
Ron shrugged. "I reckon I don't really blame you. Still miss you in the tower, but not sure I'd want you back if you'd just be pining anyway," he said wryly.
"I wouldn't be pining," Harry protested around everyone's laughter.
Draco stepped up behind Harry, wrapping his arms around him. "Wouldn't you?" he asked, whispering in Harry's ear.
Harry swallowed hard. "Um, well, it wouldn't exactly be easy there without you," he admitted.
Draco was chuckling softly in his ear, Ron was shaking his head ruefully, and the others were still laughing. Harry blushed a bright red.
"Come on, Harry," Hermione said, taking pity on him. "Let's do Christmas."
Harry shot her a grateful glance before casting his eyes around the room again. He wasn't sure who had talked Severus into letting them in the rooms, but he was fairly certain that Pansy and Hermione were behind all of the Christmas decorations. The centerpiece was a large, beautifully decorated tree with a huge pile of presents under it.
He wasn't quite sure what to think as he stood there and stared at the tree. This wasn't exactly the Christmas he'd had planned, and it did feel a little odd to be celebrating Christmas in January. Harry had expected to be spending Christmas with a hyper four-year-old. There was something surreal about this situation.
Harry watched as his friends settled themselves on the furniture. He'd spent a few Christmas' with Ron and Hermione before, but this was different. This was really different. Blaise, Pansy, Vince and Greg were there, too, and everyone was laughing and joking. They were all getting along famously.
Was Draco really going to be all right with all this? They'd done a lot of talking over the course of the three days that Madam Pomfrey kept Harry in the hospital wing, but now Harry and Draco had to face the rest of the world. Well, their room wasn't exactly the "rest of the world", but it felt like a huge dose of reality, despite the circumstances.
Harry suddenly felt a little overwhelmed again, and if he was honest, he was feeling a little panicked. His eyes darted around the room, seeing all of Draco's things. There was such a mixture of both Draco's older and younger possessions. It felt a little odd now to see all of the toys on the shelves. Harry knew that under the tree was a lot more toys that had been meant for Draco before he was re-aged. It made him feel a little nauseous when he thought about how much he had been looking forward to doing those new puzzles and the block party he'd planned to instigate with all their friends after Christmas.
"Hey," Draco said softly, commanding Harry's attention as he moved to stand in front of him.
Harry turned wild eyes on Draco. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, having no real idea of what he should say.
"It's all right," Draco whispered. "This is still unsettling to me, too. It's just going to take a bit of time to adjust to everything."
"Are you really sure about this, Draco?" Harry asked. "Are you really sure about us?"
"Yes," Draco answered firmly.
Harry gestured a little crazily at the room around them. "But Draco, I don't think this is exactly how a normal relationship is supposed to start."
Draco started laughing even as he reached out to pull Harry close. Harry stared at him like he'd gone mental. "Draco," Harry whinged. "Most of your Christmas presents are toys for Merlin's sake! What the bloody hell does that say about us as a real couple?"
"Harry, whatever gave you the idea that either of our lives was normal?" Draco asked, still chuckling a little.
Harry stared at Draco, unblinking for several long moments before he slowly started to smile. "We're not normal, are we?"
"No, we aren't," Draco said, smirking now. "And that's okay. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else."
Harry laughed lightly, his frazzled nerves soothed by Draco's words. "I think we must both be a bit mad."
"We probably are," Draco agreed with a wry smile. "I know that being with you, I'll never be bored."
Harry shook his head bemusedly. After that, they settled on the rug in front of the fireplace. Harry was a little astonished that Draco willingly sat on the floor with him, but Draco simply quirked an eyebrow at him as he settled next to Harry. Maybe the older Draco wasn't really so different from the younger Draco after all.
Somehow Ron and Blaise elected themselves to pass out the presents, as Draco wasn't willing to go that far. They spent a couple hours slowly opening up presents. There was a fairly typical assortment of gifts for most of them, books, Honeydukes candy, and clothing.
Everyone found it most amusing to watch Draco. He easily had at least twice as many gifts as anyone else, partly because they'd all wanted to spoil the little four-year-old. They'd all gotten Draco presents appropriate for his older self, too, because he'd been so close to being back to his normal age. For the most part, they separated Draco's presents into two distinct piles.
Draco picked up one of his "older" presents. "Granger got me a present?" he asked, sounding confused. "You had no idea if . . .," he trailed off, glancing up at the girl in question.
"It's actually from both me and Ron. He helped me pick them out, but he refused to let me add his name to the package," Hermione said, flushing lightly.
"Well, how was I to know if he'd turn back into an obnoxious prat or not?" Ron asked, grinning somewhat sheepishly. "I didn't want my name on the thing if he was going to turn back into the old Malfoy."
"He was still four at Christmas," Harry interjected wryly.
"Well, yeah, but if he knew it was partly from me when he was back to normal, then he'd probably just chuck them," Ron said.
"Ron, my name was still on it," Hermione snapped. "If he was going to be a bastard, don't you think he'd chuck them with my name on them?"
Ron shrugged. "Yeah, but at least it wouldn't be me."
Hermione stared at him incredulously. "I can't believe you! You are utterly clueless, Ron!"
"What?!" Ron exclaimed. "I didn't do anything!"
Harry, Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were sniggering at their bickering, while Draco was staring at them, seeming to be a little unsure of what to make of the pair. Harry was very happy to see that Draco was trying to adjust instead of slipping automatically back into old habits.
"Just ignore them and open it, Draco," Harry said dryly.
Draco slowly started peeling the paper away from the rather large package, getting everyone's attention again. "They're puzzles," he said blankly.
"Well, I thought you might find these challenging since you liked puzzles so much when you were younger," Hermione said earnestly. "We got you a wide variety of the ones meant for adults."
"Yeah, there's a really wicked one of a dragon in there somewhere," Ron said, coming over and rifling through the pile of puzzles. "Thought you'd like the picture, but it's also supposed to have this extra challenge because it's actually got another picture on the other side, too."
Draco appeared a little startled by Ron's enthusiasm, but Ron didn't notice, too caught up in his search. Soon the right puzzle was found, and Draco and Ron were both pouring over the box, discussing how best to go about putting it together.
Harry watched with a slight smile as the blond and the redhead began sifting through the other puzzles, seeing what other challenges they could find in the pile. He sent Hermione a grateful smile which she returned with a somewhat smug smile of her own. With a stack of puzzles, she'd managed to give Draco a tangible connection to his childhood that he could still relate to at his older age. It was also a link between Draco and Ron that was clearly going to help get Ron and Draco adjusted to these new friendly relations.
Harry wasn't going to be one bit surprised when Draco's small play table was turned into a large puzzle table. Watching Draco, he felt like the puzzle pieces of his life were finally all falling into place. They could make things work, despite the challenges. Perhaps even because of the challenges.
Eventually Draco and Ron were brought back to reality, and all of the presents were opened. Dobby served them a sumptuous Christmas feast in Harry and Draco's room. With all the talk, laughter and teasing, everyone was in high spirits.
Harry collapsed back on the rug in front of the fireplace after eating, feeling happy and content. Draco came and sat beside him, laying the scrapbook album Harry had given him on his lap. Slowly, he began flipping through the pages.
Having looked through the pages many, many times already, Harry elected to look at Draco instead. He enjoyed watching the play of emotions cross Draco's features as he looked through all the pictures.
"Merlin, Harry! I was filthy!" Draco exclaimed suddenly after flipping to the next page.
Harry snickered, glancing at the scrapbook, but already pretty sure which pictures Draco was referring to.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking?" Draco asked.
"Hey, he found the mud pie pictures then?" Ron asked conversationally as he flopped unceremoniously into one of the chairs.
Harry nodded in answer to Ron's question, still snickering at Draco's expression of horror. "I thought you remembered everything, Draco?" Harry asked.
"I do," Draco said, looking a little queasy. "It's not quite the same seeing it as a sixteen-year-old."
"Ah, we had fun that afternoon," Ron said, clearly in fond reminisce.
"I remember having fun," Draco said, swallowing heavily before he could continue. "I just don't remember getting quite that dirty."
Harry shrugged. "You seemed like you needed it at the time." One extra warm Saturday afternoon, all of the Gryffindor boys had trooped out to Hagrid's garden with Draco and proceeded to get as dirty as possible. Hagrid had greeted Harry's request with an odd look, but he'd cleared an area for them that had already been harvested.
The primary goal had simply been to get dirty. Dean had instructed Draco in the proper technique for making mud pies. Harry had thought it a little sad but sweet to watch Neville listening almost as raptly as little Draco had before helping to make some pretty elaborate mud pies. It had gradually turned into a squishy, nasty mud fight that had left them all coated in mud from head to toe.
Draco now looked at Harry. "You've tried to give me everything I could possibly need these last few months, haven't you?" he asked quietly.
"Yes," Harry answered, sounding a little uncomfortable. "But it's not like I didn't get anything out of it."
Draco smirked wryly. "Spoken like a true Slytherin."
Harry grinned, knowing what a compliment it was coming from Draco. "Thank you," he said smugly.
Draco shook his head ruefully, before he smiled softly. "This has been an amazing Christmas, Harry."
"It has," Harry said, sounding happy and satisfied. "It's not quite what I had been planning, but this has been wonderful. Even better than I had hoped."
He glanced over to where Ron was now involved in what appeared to be a serious discussion with Crabbe and Goyle about their favorite foods for various holiday meals. Hermione was browsing through the new books everyone had received as gifts and Pansy was inspecting any new clothing items, even as they talked with each other about who-knew-what. Blaise was sprawled beside a stack of toys that had been meant for the four-year-old Draco, rifling through them with interest.
Draco had glanced around at the others, too, before turning back to meet Harry's broad smile. "We've got an odd bunch of friends," he said with a wry smirk.
"True," Harry said, unable to disagree, and not even wanting to. He sobered as he continued to gaze at Draco. "I'm glad you're here," he whispered.
"Me, too," Draco said softly.
End Flashback * *
Harry startled when Draco slapped him lightly on the cheek. He blinked dazedly and looked down at Draco. "What'd you do that for?" he asked in bemusement, still slightly lost in his thoughts about Christmas.
Draco rolled his eyes and Harry glanced over at their friends who were laughing hysterically. "You've been out of it for awhile now," Draco drawled wryly. "Had to get your attention somehow."
Blaise snorted loudly. "What he's not telling you is that he's just been lying there watching you, smiling sappily all the while. In fact, both of you have been looking pretty sappy for at least the last five minutes."
Harry blinked, looking down at Draco, who shot Blaise a glare.
"What were you thinking about, Harry?" Pansy asked curiously.
Unknowingly, Harry's expression took on the same sweet smile, effectively capturing Draco's attention again along with the others. "You said something about how much things have changed, and I just got to thinking about Christmas."
"It was a really good day for all of us," Pansy agreed softly. "The first day we were really all together as friends—even Draco."
"Hey, are we all going to get together at all this summer?" Blaise asked suddenly. "It's going to be weird not seeing everyone all the time."
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Draco and I will have our own house so everyone could certainly come visit, but I don't know that everyone could necessarily make it at the same time."
Draco snorted in wry amusement. "You think Severus would be happy with that?"
"Uh, probably not," Harry admitted, grimacing a little. "But he'd get over it."
"I thought it was your house," Blaise said, snickering at them.
Harry and Draco shot glares in his direction. "Do you want to argue with Severus?" Draco asked pointedly.
Blaise shook his head vehemently. "No, not really."
"I thought not," Draco declared haughtily.
"We've got to all do something together this summer, though," Pansy said. "I'm going to miss everyone terribly."
"Me, too," Harry said quietly.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Bloody sentimental saps," he muttered.
"A bit hypocritical of you, don't you think?" Blaise asked in amusement.
Draco sneered at him. "Blaise, if you wish to keep any of your self-respect, I suggest you shut up now."
Blaise simply grinned at him, ignoring Draco's threat.
Harry smiled, stroking the back of his fingers lightly across Draco's cheek. "Maybe we could all take a vacation somewhere this summer."
Draco eyed him suspiciously. "What do you have in mind, Harry?"
Harry shrugged, but his smile didn't falter. "I don't know. I've just never been on any kind of vacation before so it sounds kinda nice." He paused, his expression turning thoughtful and his tone sounding a bit wistful when he spoke again. "At least we've got one more year left still at Hogwarts."
Draco frowned. "This is a good thing because . . .?" he said leadingly.
"Because amongst all the other things I'd like to have in life, I'm hoping to have a halfway normal year of school," Harry explained.
"This last year wasn't normal for you?" Draco asked innocently.
Harry snorted. "Not even close to normal," he retorted. "Although, I do have to say it's been my best year here at Hogwarts, by far."
Draco pulled himself into a sitting position so he could kiss Harry. The languid, gentle kiss held promise for their future.
"It's been my best year, too," Draco said. "And next year is sure to be even better."
"Really?" Harry asked, grinning brightly.
"Really," Draco answered, smiling in return.
~~Finite~~
A/N: Finished! Yes, I'm still stunned that this has had such an overwhelming response. Just because I enjoyed this, didn't mean that so many others would! lol Thank you again to everyone who has read and everyone who has reviewed!
Many of you already know about and have read the sequel, "Summertime Kids". Kids has all the smut and romance that I couldn't really put into Child, considering that Draco is a four-year-old throughout the majority of it. It's very light-hearted and was just a bit of fun to write. If you want to read a little more about Harry and Draco and their group of friends, then I hope you enjoy the sequel! It's already posted, in full, both on HP Fandom and The Silver Snitch.
If you're still reading this author's note, and are actually interested, several people have asked if/what I'm writing next. I've just started a Yahoo Group, simply to let people know what I'm working on and when I update. At the moment, I'm concentrating on a very long, post-HBP Harry/Draco. It's still very rough, and not at all ready for posting yet, but if you're interested in knowing when I start posting the newest story, you're welcome to join!
Biza
Afterword
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