Chapter 142

Laetitia was sitting behind a desk, analyzing the data Borsk Fey'lya had and how it could affect the entire Rebellion that the Head of their Bothan Spynet turned out to be an Imperial spy. It was so bad that no one even tried or wanted to deny it.

While she was burying herself with work to avoid anything distracting, she couldn't get the conversation she had with Thexan before he left, out of her head. Which was exactly what she wanted to avoid.


Flashback

Laetitia and Thexan were starting to have a moment and actually talk things through, but they were interrupted by Han and Luke. Leah let out a soft chuckle as she saw them leave, but she avoided eye contact with Thexan. She wasn't very good at this.

"Look, I've spent my whole life … afraid and unsure. I mean, when you recruited me for the Rebellion, it didn't get better. It honestly got worse because from then, I actually had something to lose." Thexan started and broke the silence.

"But it helped a lot knowing that I had you by my side. That you stayed by my side. That you didn't keep things from me and were honest with me. I mean, that made me feel the way I feel about you." He chuckled in embarrassment and amazement.

Leah didn't say anything and they both fell silent for a while.

Apparently, Thexan didn't know how to do this, either. He was a Sith Lord. It's not like he spent his time chasing after girls. Laetitia was the only girl he had ever looked at since he was 8.

"I know that most of the people you love have let you down or left you all alone. That scar never leaves you. Trust me. I know that … probably better than anyone else." He stated in irony, which Leah replied with an 'I know' scoff.

"It's not your fault that you don't let people in … because you have good reasons not to. Though you do have people by your side, ones that love you. Your family left you, so you found a new one. I have seen a lot of people, myself included, that when they were disappointed with their families, they just … froze and gave up. But you didn't."

Leah knew that he was telling the truth and that's why it made her wonder if it was a good thing. To be that strong or just keep going.

"Look, I have no idea what's gonna happen next or how long we're all gonna live to fight this war. I don't know what crazy things both our Sith fathers would do. I'm just saying give 'us' a shot." He encouraged her.

"And if you change your mind about me, then change your mind. I have no problem with that … because I'm gonna work that much harder to make you change it back. If you need to lie, as the Leader of the Rebellion has to lie to keep us away from the Empire, then lie. If you need to keep secrets because you're burdened with responsibilities no one in the Galaxy can or has ever handled, alright then. Keep your secrets. It is my job to bust my ass until you see me as someone worthy to confide in." He said with confidence and firmness in his voice.

Leah had never seen him like this. So sure of himself and strong in his feelings. She would be lying if she said, at that moment, she didn't feel the same way as he did. She had to resist the need to cry from being touched.

She could also see how long he waited to find the right words to tell her or even get the courage to tell her at all.

"I am not gonna be afraid of losing you, Laetitia … because I'm gonna be the guy who's always gonna fight to find you again. I will never leave your side, not like your dad and everyone else did … But if a day comes that I have to find you, then that's what I'll do … Because I hate to break it to you, girl, but you're stuck with me." He smiled warmly.

Leah lost the ability to form sentences in her mind or even speak at all. She just gazed at him, as if he just told a dying Leah that she could live again. She could feel reassurance in his voice and she was happy about it.

But she was no longer strong enough to not cry and just formed tears in her eyes.

"I have to go back now. Master's expecting me. I just wanna make sure you're remembering to breathe right now." Thexan joked to break the ice. And he was right. Leah had forgotten to breathe, again.

"I should remember to breathe, too."

Now that he thought of it, he shared her weird habit of not breathing or forgetting to breathe when she was shocked to emotional. As if it was something up to them.

He smiled when he saw her take a deep breath and tuned around to leave.

"Thexan!" She finally called out to him and made him stop.

Thexan turned around and looked at her brown eyes, waiting to see what she wanted to say.

"Stay safe. I'll kick your ass if you don't." She threatened, frowning to show seriousness.

He let out a soft laugh. He knew that was Leah's way of showing that she cared about somebody. That was good. He was willing to wait for her if she felt the same way.

"Copy that, ma'am." He saluted her.

Leah shook her head as a General and watched as he walked out of the door.

Before he left, he still had something to say.

"Leah, I just want you to know that I'm not my father. What happened between our families wasn't in the hands of either of us. So, unless you stop liking me … we will never be apart." He confidently reassured her and left her heart beating too fast.

End of flashback


Laetitia let out a deep exhale and lied back. No matter how hard she wanted to focus on the important stuff the Leader of the Rebellion should be focused on, she couldn't.

What Thexan told her really got her thinking. She now admitted that she might feel something for Thexan more than a friend. And she wanted to give it a shot, as he suggested, but every time she even thought about it, she rejected the idea immediately.

She still remembered what happened with her mother vividly, as if it had happened yesterday. How her father loved her to death for 5 years but left her because of power. And the look on her Padme's face when Anakin attacked her … when she lost her will to live after her husband betrayed her.

That stopped Leah from thinking about it.

"I am not going to die because of love, like mom did. I will not let myself be open to that kind of vulnerability."

"Are you still working on the Bothan data?" Ahsoka's voice brought her out of her own thoughts.

Leah jumped up slightly and pulled herself together. She hadn't even noticed Ahsoka coming in, let alone ask her a question.

"Um … yeah. He had critical information about everything in the Rebellion. He was, after all, the Head of the freakin' Bothan Spynet!" She bitterly said.

Ahsoka sighed. It wasn't good. It was really bad.

"Can we find out what he chose to tell the Empire?"

"No. I can't find any line or transmission between him and the Empire. He really knew what he was doing … unfortunately." Leah answered.

She never liked Borsk, but she did like how he fought for his beliefs or how thorough he was. That was one of the reasons she decided not to kick him out of the Bothan Spynet.

"We should just assume that he told the Empire everything. The safe thing to do is to move to another Base. I've already informed Mon Mothma to prepare an immediate evacuation. We don't know if and when the Empire decides to pay us a visit."

Ahsoka nodded. It was the right thing to do. And they had been in Yavin 4 Base for almost 6 years now. The logical move was to leave this Base, even if there was no Imperial spy.

"But that's not the only thing on your mind, is it?" She continued for her.

Leah frowned in confusion.

"What else should there be?"

Ahsoka gave her a playful look and rose her eyebrow. That only confused Leah more.

"Luke told me some … interesting things." She finally said.

Leah sighed in frustration and cursed in Huttese under her breath. She didn't want anyone to know about the kiss with Thexan. Not until she figured out what it meant to her.

"I should really re-teach my informal Padawan about brother-sister confidentiality." She snapped at Luke, who wasn't present.

"So … are you and Thexan …?" Ahsoka tried to ask but Leah quickly stopped her.

"I know what you're thinking … and the answer's no. A Palpatine and a Skywalker together? I don't know how we'd function as a couple." Leah muttered, trying to come up with all the reasons that they shouldn't be together.

"I think that'd be an interesting thing to watch." Ahsoka mused. She was curious about that herself.

"But I also think that it's great how he's always been there for you, when it mattered, through thick and thin, good times and bad times, Sith fathers or crazy brothers … Maybe, I haven't given him the credit he deserved." She added, looking down to not see the look on Leah's face.

Laetitia turned around completely and gave her friend a weird look. Ahsoka had always disliked Thexan and thought that he was only putting on an act to betray them, like his father, Chancellor Palpatine or Darth Sidious, did.

Leah had always tried to melt the ice between them but it didn't work. Ahsoka was too snippy and stubborn to change her mind … for good reasons. But to hear her say that she actually approved the idea of Leah and Thexan together?!

"You've clearly lost it because of Fey'lya's betrayal." Leah joked seriously, fake-gasping.

Ahsoka smacked her in the shoulder and laughed with her. Who knew? Maybe, she could be happy after the life she had. Full of misery.

"I want you to answer me honestly, okay?" Ahsoka asked.

"Okay."

"How do you really feel about him? I know that it'd be so messed-up and you've watched your mom die because of love. But ... forget about all of that for a second. What do you feel? Can you honestly say he's 'just a friend'?" She pressured.

Leah exhaled deeply. She didn't know how to answer that. She took a moment to gather her thoughts.

"He knows everything there is about me. He's also in the same situation I am. Because of that, I've always felt connected to him. I don't know why, but I trust him with my secrets. I have, since we met." She stated the positive points of their 'relationship'.

As much she wanted to forget about their families and how they've both ruined each other's ... she couldn't.

"But ... his family is the reason why I don't have a family anymore. They are involved in torturing people and killing them. His father's tangled up in all these horrible moments of my life, but … I feel something for him. I always have and probably always will ... But lately, that feeling just hurts. Coming back to him always feels like a crash-landing ... that I can't stop from happening." She finally admitted that.

Ahsoka just listened to her friend when she was struggling with her own feelings. She knew that, in the end, Leah didn't care that Thexan was Sidious' son or blamed him for what his father had done to hers. But ... if they acted on their feelings and became more than friends, the families would get involved, whether they wanted it or not.

"You're falling for him. It's a new feeling and it's out of your control. It's only normal for you to feel that way. Out of control." She stated from experience.

Leah scoffed slightly in bitterness and look down.

"I know ... But where I am in my life, with all the guilt and grief, control is all I have. And ... I don't know if I'm ready to give that up yet ... Maybe ever." She quietly said in sadness.

Ahsoka nodded and just put her hand on Leah's shoulder as supporting. It really was a crappy situation.

Suddenly, Laetitia's comm started beeping. She turned around and got visibly pale when she saw what she received.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Ahsoka asked worriedly.

"It's Thexan … He's in trouble. As in Palpatine-found-out-about-his-role-in-the-Rebellion ... trouble."

Done :)


Yep! Another cliffhanger! Don't hate me :D

What do you think happened to Thexan? How will Laetitia rescue him?!