Chapter 74
Luke met Lorelai, Sookie, and Jackson at the school, exchanging greetings. He didn't see Shelby there until Lorelai pointed out she was hiding, motioning her head behind her. The kid came out on her own without being asked and shyly waved to her dad. Since Rory was stopping by the town meeting the night before, anyway, she stopped by the diner to grab clothes for Shelby to wear to the graduation.
Luke waved back, giving her a loving smile. "Missed ya, kiddo."
Shelby glanced up at him. But not for very long. Instead, she kept her gaze on the cement.
The group eventually went to find seats together. Shelby sat on the other side of Lorelai, Sookie, and Jackson, the farthest from her dad. At one point, Luke overheard Lorelai warn her, she would be sitting next to her parents.
"Is tha' bad?" she asked, innocently, a tad above a whisper.
"Depends on how you look at it," Lorelai said, but then Sookie reassured, Shelby would be just fine and that Lorelai was teasing. "Hey, just looking out for the kid. She doesn't know my parents as well I do."
When Lorelai got a message on her pager, she had to leave for a moment. Shelby lifted her feet up onto her chair, to hug her knees to her chest. Luke couldn't help notice she would steal looks over at him, and whenever he looked over in her direction, Shelby would look away. It pained his heart to know the tiff between them was lasting this long. It had been three, almost four weeks since Jess left and Shelby temporarily moved in with the Gilmores.
Lorelai returned with good news of getting a bid on the Dragonfly, and also with the older Gilmores, who sat beside Shelby.
With the good news, Sookie rushed off to make the call, almost impaling the man in the head, sitting in front of her, with her camera. By the time she returned, the ceremony was already starting. She got back up to go get some pictures of Rory, real quick while the headmaster was speaking. After he finished, Rory looked back to wave at her group, which Shelby jumped up from her seat to wave back, jumping up and down so Rory could see.
"Honestly, Luke," Emily leaned forward in her seat to look at him, "you can't teach your daughter how to act in a public place?"
Luke just looked back at her, unsure what to say.
Shelby sat back down, also not saying a word. He saw Lorelai whisper something to the kid, quietly snickering to at least get a smile out of her, and snuck a thumb's up towards him, letting Luke know it was all good.
Rory's classmate, Brad, went up after Paris said the Pledge. The headmaster then introduced Rory, the class valedictorian, to come give her speech. Shelby clapped happily when Rory went up to the podium as the adults insisted they weren't crying as Rory began her valedictorian speech, starting with the usual introduction before going on a more personal path.
"I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I have been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed the raft with Huck and Jim, committed obscurities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is, by far, superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric, but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars, without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore."
By this point, the urge to fight back against the tears was starting to be too much, even for Luke.
"My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patty Smyth. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized the person I most wanted to be was her." Rory choked up on the last part.
The others weren't doing so well either.
"Thank you, Mom. You are my guidepost for everything."
Luke could not handle the pressure anymore and was now blubbering like a baby. Even Shelby was crying by this point. He looked over when he heard Lorelai just before the kid bolted out of her seat and squeezed past Richard and Emily's knees before taking off down the aisle.
Ignoring another one of Emily's remarks on proper etiquette, Luke assured Lorelai, he would handle it so she wouldn't have to miss anything. Sidling in front of their group, Luke hurried after Shelby, catching up to her in the back, away from everyone else.
"Shell, you can't bolt like that in a public place," he couldn't help gently scold when Luke caught up to her. "What if something happened to you?" Luke wasn't exactly sure if rich people kidnapped children, considering the reason was usually wanting a ransom. One would have to be pretty greedy to demand even more money from someone.
Shelby was leaning against the wall as she repeatedly kept wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeves.
Luke kneeled beside his little buddy, facing her. "Come on, kiddo. Talk to me. What's wrong?" he urged with a more gentle tone.
Her chest was heaving as she breathed like a marathon runner. Luke had to insist on Shelby taking deep breaths before she hyperventilated. It took a few minutes, but eventually the kid was able to take slower breaths, steadying her breathing as she stared forward.
"Listen, kiddo," he looked up into her tear-soaked face. "I wasn't expecting to say this now, but I want you to know I only did what I did to your mom to protect you. I wasn't trying to hurt you, or her, even. I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am, but I'm willing to try. I love you more than anything else in the entire world and when I saw how upset your mom was causing you to be, then to take off like that, just to come back a month later like it was nothing?"
Shelby shot back a sizeable amount of snot, grossing out her dad. He shook it off, not saying anything about it. That's when she finally mustered a look at him.
"I'm sorry, kiddo. I should have told you," Luke breathed in, finding it hard to do so. He wiped a finger under his nose as he too breathed in. "I know I messed up big time with you and Jess. I thought I was helping, and I only made things worse."
Luke touched her right arm. "You have every right to be mad at me if you feel the need to be. I'm okay with you taking all the time you need. Okay?"
Shelby watched him. She then wiped her eyes on her arm, sniffing in again. This time, it wasn't as snotty. "I was mad a' firs' bu'..."
"It's okay, kiddo," he reassured her, but Shelby shook her head, shutting her eyes. "What is it?"
Shelby looked away, sucking in her lower lip. "I..."
Reaching his other arm around to hers, Luke gently turned Shelby around to face him.
"I'm here to listen, kiddo. Just say whatever is on your mind, even if it's about me."
She took another deep breath, trying her best to look at him. "I...I..." Shelby then blurted out, "I jus' wan' wha' Lor-lai and Rory have." She pointed over behind Luke.
He looked around behind him before turning forward once more. By this point, Rory finished giving her speech, and each student was being called up to receive their diploma. "You mean with your mom?"
Shelby nodded. "Bu'..." The kid suddenly stopped herself. Luke continued to urge his little buddy on, now holding her hands in his. "Even when Mom was here..." She breathed in some more. Fresh tears were falling as she tried to hold eye contact but kept looking out the corner of her right eye.
She shrugged, holding it for a moment. Luke gave her hands a comforting rub in circles. "E-even when she... I don' know. Whenever I'm with Mom, i's no' like with you or Jess or Lor-lai or even Aun' Becca."
Luke wasn't sure what Shelby was referring to. "What do you mean?"
Shelby shrugged once more. "I don' know." Sniffing in some more, she told him, "I's like I have to try harder when I'm with Mom, like I have to be perfec'. I wish we could be like Lor-lai and Rory, bu' Mom's always telling me to do things like nuh to spill things on the fun-i-ture, and to keep drinks in the kitchen, and yelling at me when I forget, or when I put my shoes on the couch and push my bike on the carpe'."
She stopped to wipe her eyes.
"Kiddo, why didn't you tell me what was going on?"
Shelby forced herself to look her dad in the eye. "Because I wanted to fix i' on my own. And when Mom lef'..." She swallowed. "A par' of me..." Her chest started heaving again.
"Deep breaths, kiddo," he told her, softly, gently rubbing her side.
When Shelby caught her voice, she unexpectedly apologized.
Luke shook his head, confused. "For what, kiddo?"
"I was sad, because i' was my faul' Mom lef'," she heaved out before a lone tear drifted down her right cheek.
Luke reached up to wipe the tear away before giving her upper arm a gentle squeeze. "It wasn't, Shell. I can promise you it wasn't your fault. You were just upset and sometimes we say words we don't mean when we're upset. Your mom should have known better, and I'm sorry you felt you had to carry this with you all this time."
"Tha's nuh the worse par'," she said.
Now, Luke was even more confused. "What do you mean?"
Shelby shrugged. "I couldn' help i', Dad. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Squeezing her eyes shut, Shelby cried extra hard that time, producing some coughs. He tried to pull her in to hug her, but Shelby pushed him away and wiped her eyes once more. So, Luke had her take more deep breaths before urging her to tell him why she felt she had to continue apologizing.
"I-I-I..." Taking in one last deep breath, she said, "I w-was also happy." More tears poured out. "I jus' wan'ed wha' they had, with Mom." Finally, exhausted, Shelby collapsed on her dad and immediately squeezed his neck. Luke felt her bury her face into the crook, soaking his shirt collar.
Luke wrapped his own arms around his little buddy, gently running a hand along her back. He turned his head for a moment to kiss the side of her head. There was a moment when nobody said anything as Luke let Shelby cry on his shoulder as he continued running his hand along her back.
Finally, after a few minutes, he nudged her off with his shoulder to have Shelby look at him. Luke held onto her waist.
"Look at me, Shell," he told her in a firm but gentle tone. "You can't always have what others have. Life doesn't work that way. Remember, when you got a GameCube for Christmas and the boys didn't?"
She nodded. "I know, Daddy." She sniffed back more tears. "I'm sorry."
Luke shook his head. "Nothing to apologize for, kiddo," he reassured her. "But, you wanna know something?"
"Wha'?"
"In a way, you do have what Lorelai and Rory have."
"How?" Shelby gave him that puzzled look of hers.
Luke couldn't help smile and took her small hands into his adult-sized ones. "Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd get somebody who's pretty much my shadow. Who shares a lot of things I like. Who makes me smile every single day, even when Taylor's being... Well, Taylor. In a way, you probably are my best friend, kiddo."
That made Shelby smile. Wiping her eyes dry, she told him, "You're my bes' friend too, Daddy."
At that, Luke pulled his little buddy in and bear-hugged her to death. "I love ya more than you'll ever know, kiddo."
Shelby tried to squeeze him just as much. "I love you more than I love Pokemon," she replied.
He chuckled, knowing how much the kid loved Pokemon and kissed her cheek. Shelby countered with a kiss to his cheek.
"I really am sorry, kiddo," he said while they were still hugging.
"I's okay, Daddy. I forgive you," she reassured him.
Luke smiled when he heard his little buddy had forgiven him. So much so, a lone tear escaped and drifted down his own face. Lifting her with him, Luke stood to his feet, now wishing he kept wet-ones on him and asked somebody if they knew where the closest restrooms were. By the time they returned, the ceremony was over.
"Where have you two been? Everything alright?" Lorelai asked with great concern. "You okay, sweetheart?" She touched Shelby on the arm.
The little girl nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry abou' missing Rory's grad-u-a-tion."
"That's alright, sweetheart. I'm just glad you're okay," she roughly but gently rubbed the kid's upper arm, repeatedly.
Shortly after, Rory hurried over to her mom, kissing her cheek. "Hey, is everything alright? I saw Shelby run off. You okay?"
Shelby nodded once more. "I am now."
"That's good."
"On the plus side, you made everyone cry, including stone cold Luke, with your amazing speech," Lorelai pointed out.
"Luke, you old softie," Rory teased him.
Luke slowly turned his head. "I will never live this down," he groaned, catching a giggle from Shelby, who was standing again.
"Not with me in your life," Lorelai also teased.
"I gotta go. I gotta get back to the diner." Luke turned to look down at Shelby. "You coming home with me, kiddo?"
"Yeah," she replied. "I missed Gexie. Did you take good care of her while I was gone, Dad?"
He smiled at her, touching the top of her head to brush at a few strands of hair. "You bet, kiddo. We kept each other company, too."
Before they left, Rory thanked both of them for coming.
"Oh, sure," he replied, adding, "the building's amazing." She then gave him a hug. This time, less awkward than the last hug he tried to give. "So are you."
"Thanks." Rory then leaned over to hug Shelby. "Glad you came, Shelby."
Shelby hugged the teen back. "You're welcome, Rory. Sorry I missed some of it."
Rory pulled apart. "That's okay. I'm just glad you and your dad are on speaking terms again."
The kid smiled up at her dad, showing off her dimples. "Me too."
Rory took off first to go say good-bye to her classmates.
Before Luke and Shelby could leave, though, Lorelai stopped him.
"It was really great of you to come, Luke. It meant a lot to her. To have both of you here despite Shelby not wanting to see you. I'm glad you both could work things out, too."
"Yeah," Luke nodded, looking at his little buddy, who was now leaning against him.
"So, if I don't see the both of you, have fun on your trips." Lorelai reached down to playfully grab at Shelby's side. "Alright?"
Shelby flinched, sidestepping behind her dad, giggling. "I will."
"And you too, mister," Lorelai pointed at him.
"Oh, we may not go now," he admitted.
"What? You were really looking forward to it. I thought you wanted something to do while Shelby's in Florida?"
"I don't know if the timing's right. Things are kind of weird right now."
"Oh no," Lorelai said in a worried tone.
"What?"
She shifted on her feet. "It's because I teased ya about the commitment thing and proposing. I ruined it." She shook her head.
"No, that's not it," he quickly replied.
"Please promise me that's not it." Lorelai put her hands to her chest. "It would break my heart."
"But you weren't wrong about that," Luke pointed out and shrugged. "It got me thinking, and it is kind of like committing to her."
"So?"
"I don't want to lead her on."
"But you like her, Luke. You like her a lot, don't you?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "She's great. And she's a great support with Shelby. Loves Shelby, actually."
Lorelai turned to get Shelby's input. "What about you, Shelster? You think Nicole's the best lady for your dad, here?"
Shelby nodded while linking her arms through her dad's arm of the hand in his pocket. "If she makes Dad happy, then she has my blessing."
"Aw, that's sweet, sweetheart."
Luke couldn't help smile at his little buddy, too.
"I think you should go, Luke," Lorelai told him, getting his attention. "No matter what she's reading into."
"Really? You think that's okay considering..." he shook his head once. "I don't know... Everything?" Luke rocked on his heels, almost causing Shelby to fall. Thankfully, she was able to catch herself.
There was a slight pause before she forced out a "Yeah," while smiling. "I do."
"Oh, okay," he nodded at the ground and shrugged. "I'll probably go then."
Lorelai continued to smile at him. "Good."
"I guess I was just nervous about nothing."
"That's what I think too," she agreed.
"See you in a couple months," he told her.
"Wha' about my 'tuff?" Shelby asked at that point. "Everything's 'till at Lor-lai's house."
"I'll bring it by the diner in the morning on our way out, how's that? Or, there's always the key in the turtle. You guys can stop by and grab everything if we're not able to drop your stuff off," she offered.
"Okay," the kid nodded.
With one last good-bye, they parted ways.
The car ride home was in silence. Shelby was the one who broke it.
"You and Nicole are going on a trip when I'm gone?"
Luke shrugged, glancing over at her, and repeatedly switched between his daughter and the road. "We were planning it. I mean, you were gonna be gone for a while, and since our ski trip got cancelled and all. Plus, your mom already had a trip planned, anyway, with her friend."
"Mom's going on another trip already?" she looked sad to hear her mom was leaving again.
"Well, it was planned before she returned. She was disappointed to hear you'd be going on a trip too and wants to see you. But since you had plans, we'd figure us adults would have some fun of our own," he explained. "And you can see her before you leave, if you want. You don't leave until the first of June."
"Okay," she nodded at that. "And Dad?"
"Yeah?" Luke glanced over at Shelby again.
"It's okay if you do wan' to propose."
He smiled. "Yeah?"
She nodded some more. Luke then caught some hesitance as she looked away.
He reached over to cup the back of her head. "It's okay, kiddo," he urged her to speak her mind some more if she still needed to.
Forcing herself to look back at him, Shelby admitted, "Even Nicole makes a be'ter mom than Mom does."
His shoulders dropped as his heart broke for his little buddy once more. "I'm sorry about that, kiddo."
She forced a smile for him.
"Madison gave us the phone number where you used to go for counseling, for us. So hopefully it'll help us be better parents for you," he told her, encouragingly.
"But you're already a good dad," Shelby pointed out and smirked at him.
"Yes, but I bet I could be an even better dad. Remember?" Luke reminded her of the reason she had been staying at Lorelai's. He knew Shelby was only trying to be nice, though.
Later that evening, after saying hello to Gexie, Shelby went to bed early while Luke closed down the diner. To his surprise, Lorelai stopped in.
"Hi, Luke."
"Lorelai, hi," he returned, surprised to see her so soon. "Where's Rory?"
She shut the door behind her. "Oh, she's out in the car."
Luke nodded. "Oh."
She casually walked over to him.
"It was a really nice ceremony, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, it was beautiful." Lorelai suddenly turned to face him.
"What's up?"
"I just wanted to..." she paused in hesitation, "say something to you in case we don't see each other before you go on your trip."
"Sure. What?"
Lorelai smiled at him. "Don't get engaged."
Luke just stared at her in confusion. "What? Why?"
Without saying another word, she just left. Just like that.
"Lorelai?" He stood there as Luke watched her leave.
Suddenly, Luke bolted out of a sound sleep, quickly realizing he had fallen asleep once he came upstairs. The apartment was still dark. It was light enough where he could make out Shelby standing there beside him.
He leaned forward, his arms on his knees, and rubbed at his eyes, thinking about the dream he just had.
"Did you have a bad dream, Dad?"
"Uh, no, kiddo. Just... just... Uh, never mind."
"Oh, okay. Can I 'leep with you, though? Because I did."
"Sure, kiddo." Pulling her in, Luke held her close.
His dream was still playing vividly in his mind.
The End...
To Be Continued...
Author's Note:
For any new readers, this is the end of Part One of this story. Besides here, I also upload to Wattpad, who has a chapter limit for each story, so I split this into two parts, or two completely separate books.
