Seventy-Five: Small Bundles of Anxiety
Chat has a quiet moment with Carapace.
"I'm terrified."
In a nod to how all things come full circle, I found myself on the very same rooftop where Carapace had told me months earlier Rena was expecting; after a gentle nudge from Ladybug, the two of us had decamped from the cramped hospital room Alya was recovering in, but not before I'd whisked Nino to the nursery so he could check in on his newborn twins. If the nurses thought it odd that a feline superhero was guiding the extremely agitated new father around the hospital, they were too professional to lift so much as an eyebrow and took my appearance completely in stride.
Finding the first convenient alleyway, I'd convinced Nino to transform and then set out on a long loop around Paris to help my best friend get the worst of his anxiety under control. Considering how he was leaping far higher and further than I'd ever seen before, I knew it was a tall order, but after a few hours, I'd worn him out just enough to agree to a break in the small hours before dawn.
I smiled as I put my arm around his shoulders, trying to hide my shock at the fact he was shivering with fear. "Any new parent would, Cap. It's normal."
"It was all so academic," he whispered as he looked up at the dark night sky. The faint glint of starlight outlined his goggles, though with my night vision, it was easy to see his eyes were wide with panic. "I mean, we knew this day was coming, but now that it's here…"
Carapace turned toward me. "What if I'm a bad dad?" he asked so quietly, even my enhanced feline ears had to strain to hear him. "Or bad parents?" He held up the wrist that had his glowing Miraculous. "And I'm wondering now if it was such a great idea to talk Ladybug into letting us keep these," he continued, those wide eyes staring at the jewel. "What were we thinking? I can't leave them!"
"Dude," I said softly, "the two of you will be naturals. Those twins of yours are in good hands." I leaned in and added with a Chat grin: "Of course, I'm not a great one for making observations, seeing as though I don't have any kittens myself. Still, you've gotta trust my feline intuition on this."
My friend of many years turned his eyes toward mine, and I caught the ghost of a smile that I'd hoped to see. "Isn't that the same feline intuition that landed the two of us in a vat of molasses?"
"See, that's wasn't really my fault—"
"Or did you mean the feline intuition that told you it was wise to go after that sculptor, alone?"
I felt my face flame slightly. "Ceramic cats still unnerve me. But in my defense, I was kinda new at this whole superhero thing."
"Then we won't talk about how the two of us wound up strapped to a ballistic missile last year while you were supposed to be brushing up your skills as Mister Bug."
"Probably for the best," I chuckled. "Ladybug still thinks we were just out for drinks that night."
"You—?!" Carapace choked. "You didn't tell her about that akuma? We nearly died!"
"Don't be so dramatic," I smiled. "Besides, I've gotten a lot better at using the yo-yo as a result."
"Chat," he said soberly, "this isn't a laughing matter! I've got two new, extremely delicate, bundles of joy that I'm responsible for now. I'm not so sure I should be running around Paris, potentially risking my life. I can't do that to them." He paused. "Or to Rena."
I sighed, for it looked like the momentary distraction of my feline humor had faded. But I understood where he was coming from, and searched for a way to try and comfort him. "I don't have a pride as large as yours—"
"Aren't 'prides' more for big game cats, Chat?" Carapace asked, a trace of mirth in his voice.
"The Lion Miraculous was unavailable tonight," I laughed. "But humor me for a moment. Ladybug is the most important thing in my life, so I take my role seriously as her guardian – both in and out of the mask. I would do anything to keep her safe, and I know that's how you feel about Rena and your kittens."
Carapace rolled his eyes. "If you're going to keep going with the metaphor, Rena would probably accept 'pups' seeing as though she's a fox and all."
"Lost that battle, then?" I smiled.
"Yeah," he said slowly, and the brilliance of his love shone from his face. "The girls do seem to be from the fox side of the house."
"You never know," I replied. "One of them might have turtle tendencies."
"Maybe."
"Anyway," I continued, shifting slightly so I could grab my baton. "It's a sacred trust to protect those we love, and you have no reason to feel torn between your duties to Ladybug and your family. Family comes first – always." I paused, and looked out across the city, the lights twinkling brightly against the darkness of the night sky. "No one will think any less of either one of you if you decide you want to step away for a while." I looked back at him. "Or forever."
Carapace continued to look toward the skyline. "I assumed I could handle all of it," he said softly. "Rena definitely thought we could, but now that they are here… both of us are having second thoughts." He turned toward me. "That's weighted against feeling as though we're letting Ladybug down." Those eyes flicked to the bright lights of the city. "Letting Paris down."
"Defelinely not the case," I said firmly as I checked the phone on the baton. As I expected, the buzz I'd felt was Ladybug checking in while simultaneously letting me know Alya and the twins were resting comfortably. "There's no question we value the two of you on the team. And you've been there for the city in some of the darkest moments imaginable – and some of the strangest, for sure."
I put my paw to his shoulder. "It's okay to focus on being a father; LB and I will soldier on. Who knows? Maybe by the time we finally get married, we'll have put Hawkmoth away forever and Paris won't need us, either."
"There will always be someone like Hawkmoth," he replied as he turned toward me.
"Probably true," I agreed, nodding my mane. "Even so, Ladybug and I will always be there for you and Rena. In or out of the mask."
"Thanks. That means a ton to both of us." Cap smiled crookedly. "Say… when, exactly, is that wedding?"
I groaned. "Every time we start to think about it, something comes up. It's almost like the universe is trying to tell us something."
"Or is the cool black cat of destruction afraid of commitment?" Carapace joshed.
"Hardly," I laughed. "As nearly a year of being transformed for days on end will attest."
"True love is magical black leather?"
"Something like that," I hastily replied, suddenly seeing images of what Marinette had done to me the last time I'd spent the night with her as Chat. It occurred to me we'd not yet dared to put our plan for date night into action, given the multiple crisis we'd been dealing with. A part of me was quite insistently reminding me exactly how long it had been—
"Chat?"
I blinked. "Sorry," I apologized as I stood. "Got lost there for a moment. Let's get you back to your wife."
"All right."
"Talk it over with Rena and then let us know if you want to back away for a bit; if you're thinking of staying on 'emergency standby,' you'll probably retain your Miraculous."
"And if it's longer?" he asked, then added quietly.
"About what you would think," I replied softly. "But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, 'kay?"
"Okay."
"Come on," I continued as I extended my baton. "Let's go rescue my fiancé before she gets any ideas."
"Ideas? About what?"
"Having her own kittens," I said. "Though I suspect we're going to have a more serious chat about that now that her best friend is a mother…"
