Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing fine? I know this is a bit early, actually very early, but it was either I update now or not at all, so yeah, here is the proof of which one I chose.

There are no warnings for this chapter, just that it will be a bit emotional and I did get choked up on a few scenes as I worked on them, just so you know.

There is an AN at the bottom that you guys should please read.

Anyway, enjoy this update you guys, and as always, thanks so much for the reviews and the ongoing support ;-)


Chapter 37.2 – losing a father

Kai keeps his attention on the outside world while they make their way towards the airport where the private jet of The Chernyy Feniks is waiting for Mya, ready to take her away from him for a whole two weeks, and he is already dreading each and every second of those two weeks.

Kai looks up at the sky and he sees how low the clouds are hanging, the lights of the city reflecting on the underside of them, and Kai can't help but to think that this weather is a mirrored reflection of his emotions right now, all gloomy and foreboding nothing but cold and miserable situations in the coming future, which is exactly what he is going to experience the moment Mya gets on to that plane.

Kai still can't believe that he has become this dependent on Mya, that he has become so dependent that he literally cannot function if he has not seen her when he woke up, and it will be TWO weeks where he will have to wake up alone, he not certain how he will manage; it is almost like she has become his personal sun, his only supply of oxygen, and without her he simply cannot function or exist, and it still remains a shock to him, how could a proud and strong Hiwatari have become so dependent on another living being?

'What would you have said now, grandfather, knowing that I have completely lost myself to love, to a woman? Yes, you would have been happy about me being with a mate, but the fact that I have become so dependent on her, you would have frown upon it and most likely would have said that it is a weakness that I have obtained, and yes, Mya has become my weakness, most likely my only weakness, and I do not even mind it; I would gladly die for my precious Mya, I gladly will give up everything just for her because she truly is now the only thing that matters in my life right now.'

Kai is suddenly brought out of his train of thoughts when he feels Mya squeeze his hand and when he turns to look at her, he sees that she smiles at him with a questioning look on her face, "Everything alright, my phoenix?" she asks softly and all that he can do is to squeeze her hand back to indicate to her that everything is fine before he turns his attention back to the outside world.

In no time do they reach the airport and the jet's engines are already on, meaning that they are just waiting for Mya, so the pilots are not going to waste any time in loading her luggage. The icy wind slashes through their thick coats the moment they get out, but it is not enough to hinder them from their plans. The flight attendants quickly retrieve Mya's luggage from the boot of the car while she and Kai remain standing and holding each other at arm's length and looking each other deep in the eye, Mya seeing the agony Kai is in right now, but she cannot do anything to ease it because she still has an obligation towards The Chernyy Feniks, even if she is sleeping with the main boss.

"Hey," Mya says softly before rubbing her nose against Kai's nose and then keeping her forehead pressed against his, "In no time I will be back with you, my phoenix, do you think you will be able to last that long?"

"Do I have a choice?" Kai says in a whisper and he does not even attempt to hide how broken he feels right now, he suddenly reminding himself of a puppy that is taken away from its home and is left all alone in the street to fend for itself, which he will admit is weak and completely out of character for him, but he couldn't care any less right now.

"Two weeks is not that long, and besides, that was what last night and today was for, my phoenix, to try and get in as much of each other as we can so that we can last these next two weeks."

"It was not enough, Mi Amor," and Kai digs his gloved hands even deeper into her trench coat and holding on to her as if she is his only life line right now.

Mya sighs to herself because she honestly has no idea how she will be able to pull Kai out of this funk of his; she had no idea that he had become so dependent on her, it is almost as if this isn't the strong Kai she had met him the beginning, 'Had love truly changed him so much?'

It is almost as if love has zapped his strengths from his body, it reminding her of some sort of alien that loses all touch of his race the more he falls in love with another race, which looks like is the exact same thing that is happening to Kai right now: the deeper he falls in love with her, the weaker he becomes, 'And should I have been some heartless bitch right now, I could have used that against him and I could have broken him down completely and taken my place at the top of the food chain, I could have become the new boss of The Chernyy Feniks...' Mya suddenly feeling very appalled with herself to even think such a horrendous thing, 'Where the hell did that just come from?'

Mya mentally shakes her head so that she can come back to earth, come back to reality and to the man that is currently standing in front of her who is in real agony about her going away.

"I will miss you too, my phoenix, very much, but we both know that business needs to go on, no matter how much it shatters our hearts. We can't let The Chernyy Feniks suffer because of us, and you know this as well as I do, right?"

And now Kai is the one to sigh to this before he nods his head to this, he knowing that Mya is right, "But it does not mean that I have to like it."

Mya softly chuckles to this, "I also do not like it, but we have already talked about this, my phoenix, now come on, I have to go; the sooner I leave, the sooner I can get finished with my shit and then the sooner I can get back to you. So now you will..." before Mya can even finish her sentence, Kai crashes his lips against her lips in an urgent manner, and within a blink of eye are the two lovers caught up in a passionate kiss, not one of them caring that they have a little audience because just like all the other times, they are transported to their own little world where only they exist, no one else.

Kai finally pulls away from the kiss but only because he has to take a breather, and just as he is about to go in for another kiss, Mya stops him, she only chuckling when she hears how he growls inwards, but she shakes it off because she truly has to get on the plane right now.

"I have to go now, my phoenix, please," she says in an almost pleading manner, and all of a sudden she is unable to prevent herself from starting to get choked up because she has suddenly realised that she will be gone from Kai for two weeks, it only truly dawning on her right now.

Kai places a gentle kiss on to her forehead because he also realised that the roles has abruptly switched between the two of them, and that he will now be the one to coax her into getting on to the plane to fulfil her duties, "We will see each other soon, Mi Amor, I promise."

"I am going to miss you so much, my phoenix, painstakingly much," she mutters while she now clutches the front part of Kai's black coat while he again presses his lips to her forehead.

"I will also be in agony, Mi Amor, but like you said, it will only be two weeks and the distance will do us good, so come on," Kai then gently pushes Mya away from him so that he can direct her towards the plane, "get on, get done with your shit and then come back to me, please," a ghost of a smile adorning his handsome features, Mya also smiling back before placing one last kiss on his lips right before she completely leaves his embrace and steps away from him completely.

"We will talk as soon as I have landed, okay?"

Kai says nothing to this and only nods his head to this, his hands now in the pockets of his trench coat while he keeps his eyes on how the love of his life makes her way up the steps that leads into the plane, and just before she walks in, she turns around and looks at him one last time before finally going in, the door immediately closing after her.

'I love you, Mi Amor,' he thinks to himself, he still unable to say those three little words to her but at least she knows that he loves her, and that she does not need words to know that.

'I promise, soon I will be able to say those three words to you, Mya, and then I will be unable to stop myself from constantly repeating them, and I will never stop saying them to you for as long as I live. I love you very much, Mya Azarov, my precious Ana.'

Kai comes to stand right next to the car where Ralph is sitting behind the steering wheel, the elder man already knowing that they will most likely stay here until the plane has left, and he is going to sit and wait patiently, his own heart breaking for the young Kai, but he still finds it so beautiful and pure at how Kai is already somewhat breaking down due to Mya's departure, there being no doubt that Kai loves that woman very much.

The plane finally starts to position itself so that it can turn on to the runway, Kai keeping his eyes on the aircraft the entire time, and after hearing them gearing up, the plane starts to move down the runway, it picking up speed until Kai finally sees the lights of the aircraft lift into the air, his Mya officially gone from him now.

Kai continues to stand in the icy cold weather until he no longer can see the lights of the plane before he finally gets into the car, he suddenly feeling very drained.

Ralph puts an assuring hand on his shoulder after he starts the engine, "What do you say I throw us a stiff drink when we get home, my boy, and have some quiet time to ourselves, just us men?"

Kai does not look at Ralph but he does nod his head to this, he not saying anything else while Ralph starts to turn the car around so that they can head back home, a home where his Mya will not be with him, and this suddenly causes an invisible force to clench around his heart, but he tries his best to shake it off as best as he can while he again directs his attention to the outside world, his mind constantly on Mya.

Kai did not even realise they were home until Ralph gently shook him to tell him that they are back home, and right now he and Ralph are sitting in front of the fire place, each with a glass of drink in hand while they enjoy the view and heat coming from the burning fire in front of them.

Ralph is not going to force Kai to talk, he should know by now that Kai is a man of few words, and he knows that Kai will talk if he wants to but at least he also knows that Kai appreciates his company and presence, even if they are sitting in a comfortable silence.

"Whenever you and mama Oksana had to separate, how did you cope, papa Ralph? How did you cope with that agonising feeling of immense loss?" Kai asks softly while keeping his eyes focused on the fire in front of him, the flames reflecting in his brown orbs, which almost makes him look some sort of mystical being instead of a normal human being.

Ralph does not turn his attention away from the fire and he takes a sip before he starts to speak to Kai, he glad that at least Kai does want to talk, "It was never easy, my boy, that I will not deny. Those first three days were usually the worst; everything I did reminded me of her. If I heard a song, I thought of her, if I ate something, I thought of her. I literally counted down the minutes rather than the hours, and the closer it got to the time I knew I was going to see her, I got more and more anxious, it getting so intense and overwhelming that I was usually unable to eat or sleep, my body constantly on an adrenaline high because the longing was starting to suffocate me and my body went into fight mode from all of the emotions, but in the end it was worth it because every time I saw her after we have been apart for some time, my love for her just got stronger tenfold, something I didn't even know was possible and even now, after all of these years of being together, it is still the same, so it does not get better, my boy, but the distance does do wonders for the love of the relationship, and that you will see as soon Mya is back in your arms."

"I never knew that love could be this intense, papa Ralph, it being so overwhelming that it is almost agonising, it almost making me regret that I ever fell in love because it hurts more than anything else."

Ralph grins to himself upon hearing Kai say this because for a long time he was almost convinced that Kai would never fall in love, but he is relieved all the same, "That is love for you, my boy, and not everyone is as fortunate as us to experience this intense love. What most of the people experience are the throws of being in love, they living and experiencing the passion of being in love, and as soon as that passion has simmered out and has died, they no longer want to be with that person and then they end up moving on to the next one, this cycle keeping on repeating over and over again, they never giving themselves the chance to move into the deeper and more intimate parts of love, they just remaining on the surface. We have surpassed that level, Kai, we have breached the upper surface and have dove down into the abyss of love, that part where it is so strong and intense that it sometimes literally feels like it is going to consume and destroy your soul from the sheer intensity, like you simply cannot continue to live where you cannot continue to experience this intense and overwhelming feeling of love."

Ralph takes another sip from his drink and then turns to look at Kai, the young man now having his full focus as he waits for him to continue to talk, "Love is not complicated, my boy, as long as you give it a chance to grow, as long as you are willing to dive deeper into it, and unfortunately so many are afraid to dive in, afraid that they will not be able to handle it or are afraid that they will end up hurt and shattered in the end. Love between two partners, true love, is unlike anything on this earth, almost like it is a type of magic because that love can overcome so much, it can conquer so much and the best of it all, is that it never stops growing, it continues to grow in strength until it later seems that it will consume you, but you continue to thrive in it, feeling how you yourself is getting stronger the stronger the love gets. Love is a beautiful thing, Kai, and I can honestly say that I am really glad that you get to experience it because you deserve it. You will only fully realise what I am talking about when Mya returns, then you will truly realise just how strong love can grow after some time apart."

Ralph can see in Kai's eyes how the young man is drawn into what he has just said, and he knows that Kai knows exactly what he is talking about, and he can only hope that Kai would try to be strong in this time, knowing that this is normal, and hopefully it will also give Kai the strength to keep sane during these two weeks.

"Thank you, papa Ralph, you have no idea how much this has just helped me. I was certain that I would be unable to sleep tonight, but what you have just said has given me strength, and yes I miss Mya a lot, but now I know that I will be fine until she comes back; I will be in agony but I will be fine."

Ralph smiles widely to this, I am glad that I could help, my boy, that is why I am here, to help you with anything that you need, and I will always be there for as long as life grants me the opportunity which I know will still be very long."

Kai gives Ralph a very warm smile, his eyes glistening from the flames and sheer happiness radiates from his eyes, because even though he still longs for Mya, he does feel much better right now.

After this somewhat intense conversation, the two fell into an easy conversation where they ended up talking all sorts of nonsense until it was time for them to go to bed.

Kai is currently in bed and he has just talked to Mya, she having landed about 20 minutes ago in Kiev where she will stay a couple of days before leaving for the rest of their territories, and even though he misses her immensely, he can't help but to feel very proud of her, about his 'gangster' girlfriend that is going to show everyone why she is in the position she is in currently.

'My gangster Mya,' Kai thinks to himself and softly chuckles to himself, he resting his head on his left arm while he leisurely smokes away on a cigarette, the blanket of darkness surrounding him.

He is currently lying on Mya's side of the bed, this now being second nature to him to sleep on her side of the bed whenever she is not next to him, and he can clearly smell her scent on the pillows, he knowing that at least he will be able to fall asleep with her smell calming his olfactory system.

He does feel somewhat much better after having had that talk with Ralph, Kai knowing now that what he has with Mya is true love, deep and sincere, and this actually makes him feel invincible, like he has gained some type of unexplainable strength, and it makes him feel all warm and calm on the inside, this being something that he has never experienced before, but he does not regret it one minute.

'I am going to make you my wife, my Mya, and nothing will ever separate us; we will be together for a very long time,' and with this thought, Kai smiles widely knowing that his real life has truly just begun, and he is already excited to go on this new adventure with his precious Mya right by his side the entire way.

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One moment he was still fast asleep, the next thing he knows he has to rush out of bed and hurry to the bathroom and not a second too late because the moment he reached it, he started throwing up, Kai throwing up until his body could take no more, and after the unexpected assault on his body passed, he collapsed on to the tile floor, and Kai has been lying here for the last five minutes, sweat drenching his body while he trembles from both an incredible headache and from puking his guts out.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he mutters to himself while he continues to lie on his back, eyes closed while he continues to take in the cold of the floor on his bare back.

Even though he misses Mya like crazy, he is thankful that she is not here right now to see this because she would, without a doubt, have freaked out and would have demanded he go to the hospital, which may then have ensued into a full on argument between the two, so he is somewhat grateful that his other half is not here with him right now.

Kai suddenly grabs his head with both hands and groans out loud as an incredible sharp pain has suddenly made itself known in his head, his eyes scrunched shut while he curls into a foetal position and willing the pain away.

For about a minute the mind numbing pain courses through Kai's entire head, another wave of sweat drenching his body while the pain numbs him, but it finally passes and Kai is left lying flat on his back, panting from all that has just happened to him.

"What...what the hell is going on?" he again mutters to himself while his chest continues to rise and fall from the heaving, his body literally feeling exhausted right now from that brutal attack on itself, the business mogul suddenly feeling extremely tired, tired as in he is unable to get up and get himself back to bed, but he knows that he cannot sleep here the entire night.

'Come on, Kai, don't let this get you down, you are much stronger than this and nothing gets you down, so just get up; it is not that far to the bed anyway, and once you are there, you can just fall flat and into your warm bed, so just get up already.'

Despite encouraging himself to get up, it proves futile because Kai remains on the floor for another five minutes or so before he finally he gets up, he stumbling towards the bed where he falls down with a heavy thud on to his comfortable bed, Kai immediately falling asleep the moment his head hits the pillow despite him still having a pulsing headache; however, his body is just too tired to care or to pay notice right now, and as he lies motionless on his back, Kai now in a deep and painless slumber.

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Kai slowly flutters his eyes open, his headache gone for a change and when he drops his head to the right side to see the time on the alarm clock, he sees that it is just past five in the morning, time for him to get up and exercise, and with a soft groan to himself, he sits up straight and hangs his legs over the edge of bed, he surprisingly feeling rather refreshed after the events of last night, Kai still not sure what had happened.

He is not usually a person who throws up, he has to be VERY sick or VERY, VERY drunk before something like that happens, and he was not feeling sick at all when he went to bed, and neither was he out of his mind drunk, so it remains a complete mystery as to why he had thrown up like that.

'One more bizarre thing happening to my body and then I will make an appointment with Valentin, that is my own promise to myself; just one more bizarre thing, I promise,' Kai then nods to himself before finally getting up, he lighting a cigarette the moment he stands next to the bed stand, and while leisurely smoking away on the cancer stick, he heads towards his walk in closet so that he can obtain his exercising clothes in which he is going to exercise in, he relieved that his body is feeling normal for a change, normal and full of energy.

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It is already four days since Mya has left Moscow and Kai already feels like going crazy, his own home and office constantly suffocating and tormenting him.

However, tonight is at least more bearable seeing as Kai is currently sitting down and having a nice and quiet and intimate dinner with both Oksana and Ralph, the two elder people having noticed how down in the dumps Kai has been since Mya had to leave for business, so they thought this dinner might just do the trick in cheering Kai up, and so far it seems to be working seeing as Kai is at least not so moody and he is somewhat talking to them and somewhat laughing along with them.

"If there is only one thing that I am grateful for with Mya's absence," Ralph starts and both Kai and Oksana turn their attention to the elder man, waiting for him to continue speaking while watching how he takes a sip from his water before he continues to talk, "it is that I won't have to worry about walking in to the kitchen while you two are ravaging each other like bunnies, my boy," and he only starts to chuckle when Kai starts to cough while chewing his food, the business mogul immediately going red in the face as Oksana also bursts out laughing to this.

Kai continues to cough for a while longer and he is forced to spit out the food in his mouth to avoid chocking, and as he takes a few sips of water, he looks at Ralph with shock on his face, he unable to believe that Ralph would just blurt out something like that, and what is even more shocking is the fact that Oksana is entertaining this.

"When...[ clears throat ]... when did this happen, papa Ralph?" Kai asks sheepishly, he suddenly feeling so embarrassed and shy because Ralph had to see Mya and he have sex in the kitchen, and what is worse is the fact that it can be anytime seeing as he and Mya has taken each other in the kitchen on more than one occasion, especially in the early hours of the morning when they go for a midnight snack and the mood suddenly strikes them.

"Well now, lets' see," Ralph starts while he rubs his chin with his right hand in a thinking manner, "there was more than one occasion, so I cannot exactly recall the days, but yeah, it was more than once, my boy," and both Ralph and Oksana bursts out laughing when they see how Kai's eyes grow even wider from sheer shock.

"I apologise, papa Ralph, it will not happen again," Kai says sheepishly while he looks down at his plate of food, the business mogul suddenly feeling so ashamed with himself because he respects these two people so much, and he really feels horrible right now knowing that Ralph has seen him have sex on more than one occasion.

Ordinarily he would not care who sees him have sex, but this is Ralph and Oksana, his mother and father per say, who he loves and respects very much, so yeah, it does matter when they see him have sex.

Ralph laughs while waving his right hand dismissively at Kai, "Relax, my boy; you did nothing wrong. This is your house and I know all about what happens when the mood strikes you," and to this he looks at Oksana and winks his right eye at her before he continues to talk, "there simply is no controlling it, believe me, I know it all too well, and you don't have to feel so embarrassed, my boy, it is nature and at least you were in doors, and don't think that you were disrespecting us because I already know that that is what is going through your head right now, so again, relax, my boy."

Kai runs his hand through his hair while giving a huge sigh of relief, "I am still sorry, papa Ralph; Mya and I had no idea, and we were trying to be quiet."

Again Ralph and Oksana laughs, and this time Oksana takes Kai's right hand into her left hand and squeezes it while grinning widely at Kai, "My boy, we were also young and in love, and especially after we were newlyweds, goodness me," and to this Oksana waves at herself as if she is suddenly experiencing a very hot flush, "it is a miracle we only have three children and not more, lots more."

Kai grins to this, "My, you two shock me, and here I was thinking you two were angels that did not engage in such carnal urges."

"Hey, a man is still a man, my boy, filled with testosterone, and when he is in love, the heart pumps that hormone even faster, so you know, a man's got to do what a man's got to do," and Ralph winks at Kai before turning his attention towards Oksana and just grinning widely at her.

"I hope that you two won't ruin our dining table once I retire for the night?" Kai asks while looking between the two, he smirking when he sees how Oksana blushes to this and Ralph only chuckles to this.

"Relax, my boy, the table is..." the elder man says before abruptly stopping mid sentence and then grabs his head in both his hands as he closes his eyes, this immediately alerting both Oksana and Kai.

"Are you okay, my darling, what is wrong?"

Ralph does not answer and shakes his head, "...not know..." he mutters, Kai and Oksana having no idea what Ralph is saying, the two very concerned right now.

"My darling, what is wrong?"Oksana asks very concerned while she has her eyes are on her husband, he trying to speak but before a word can come out, he tilts his head back and then falls off of the chair, the last thing the elder man hearing being Kai that calls his name in panic as both he and Oksana shoot from their chairs and rush to his side, everything going black before they reach him.

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Kai keeps his arms crossed in front of his chest while he continues to pace up and down, every fibre of his body wrecked with worry and panic.

He looks down at the seated Oksana and his heart breaks when he sees how fragile and worried she is, she clenching a drenched tissue in her hand while tears of worry still continue to flow freely from her eyes.

It has been almost two hours since they have brought Ralph in and up until now no one has come to talk to them, which infuriates Kai immensely seeing as this is his hospital, and it will do everyone good here to remember who the main boss is around here.

Kai is not only worried but also scared because of what is happening with Ralph; Kai is scared to close his eyes because every time he does, he sees the image of Ralph falling to his left off of the chair, and that was both terrifying and horrifying all at the same time because it all happened so fast. One moment they were still laughing and the next thing he knows he rushes over to an unconscious Ralph, he still not sure what has happened, but he does have a slight suspicion on what could have happened, but unless no one has come to talk to them, he is going to push it to the back of his head for now.

Kai finally takes a seat right next to Oksana and he pulls the elder woman into a tight embrace and holds her close to him while she continues to silently cry against him.

"I am here for you, mama Oksana, I am not going to go anywhere, I promise," Kai mutters softly against Oksana's hair while the woman gently wipes her nose but she says nothing to this and only allows Kai to continue to hold her tightly against his buff body.

The two are so caught up in their emotional embrace that both of them are startled when they suddenly hear a throat being cleared above them, the two immediately pulling away from the embrace as they look up at Valentin, the elder doctor trying to look as professional as possible but one can see that his eyes do not hold good news.

Oksana is the first to get up, Kai following suit while and he comes to stand right behind Oksana while they wait for Valentin to say anything, and while they wait, Kai places both of his hands on Oksana's shoulders as if he wants to shield her from whatever Valentin is about to tell them.

"How are you two holding up?" Valentin asks while he looks between Kai and Oksana, both of them having sadness and worry in their eyes while they look at him, and he can feel how his heart is already breaking for what he has to tell them.

"What is going on, Valentin," Kai demands in a somewhat harsh tone of voice, but Valentin makes nothing of this knowing that Kai is very worried right now, "We have been waiting for way too long and we deserve answers."

Valentin rubs the back of his head in a tired manner; were it other patients he would have been very professional, but seeing as he has known these two persons for almost a lifetime now, he can be allowed to be himself, to be more than just a professional doctor.

"I wish I had some good news, but unfortunately I don't. Ralph has suffered a stroke, a rather massive one, and the chances of him recovering fully are very slim. I truly am sorry, you guys," the doctor says while suddenly sounding more tired than he looks because he wishes that he did not have to give them this news, but this unfortunately does come with the territory after all.

Oksana says nothing to this and only turns around in Kai's arms, the business mogul holding her tightly while she starts to cry against his muscular chest once more, Kai looking over her head at Valentin, and he can see what Valentin truly means, that there is no hope for Ralph.

"You can go and see him now if you want to, but he is unconscious, and he will unfortunately remain that way for who knows how long," Valentin says in a defeated manner while looking directly into Kai's eyes.

Oksana abruptly turns around in Kai's arms the moment she hears that they can go can and see Ralph, she just saying softly that she wants to see her husband, and after receiving a silent nod from Valentin, Kai and Oksana silently start to follow Valentin towards Ralph's room, the trio reaching the room in less than two minutes.

The moment Oksana sees her unconscious husband lying on the bed, she rushes to his side; Kai, however, remains standing at the door, he crossing his arms over his chest while he keeps his eyes on Oksana, his heart breaking for the only mother figure in his life the longer he sees her so down and defeated next to Ralph's bedside.

"What is the best case scenario, Valentin?" Kai asks softly while still keeping his eyes on Oksana, Valentin standing right beside him and he also having his eyes on Oksana.

"He wakes up, but he will be paralysed on one side and speechless, but at least he will live."

"And the worst case scenario?"

"He slips into a come and passes away."

"And what are we facing here, Valentin, the best or worst case scenario, and be honest, please."

Valentin sighs to this, "The worst, Kai; Ralph's age is putting him at a huge disadvantage, and unfortunately the severity of the stroke is great. It caused a lot of damage, too much damage in my opinion and I honestly do not see Ralph walking away from this. If I can be brutally honest, I think it would be best if you let the kids know and inform them to come to Moscow to come and say good bye because Ralph will not leave this hospital alive, Kai."

Kai says nothing to this while he keeps his eyes on Oksana, his heart breaking for both her and for their children, and also for himself because he is going to lose his father, the father figure of his life, and he honestly does not know how to handle that right now.

'I need you so much right now, Mya,' Kai thinks to himself while keeping his eyes on Oksana, he suddenly fighting very hard to restrain the tears that want to fall from his eyes, but he knows that he has to stay strong for Oksana's sake, at least until her children are here so that they can give her the emotional support that only a family can give.

Without saying anything else to Valentin, Kai makes his way into the room and he comes to a standstill right behind Oksana and he again places his hands on her shoulders in a comforting manner while the elder woman continues to weep by her husband's side, and even though Valentin has seen this scene numerous times, seeing it right now in the Hiwatari household is heartbreaking.

With a last look at Oksana and Kai, Valentin silently turns away from the room so that he can give the two some privacy while they come to terms to what has just happened to Ralph. A stroke is never a pretty picture, nor is the consequences of it, because it is always the loved ones left behind that suffers the most afterwards.

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Kai lifts his head from his hands and he suddenly realises that it is already daytime, he wondering when he had fallen asleep with his head in his hands. He lifts his head completely and looks over at the hospital bed, Ralph looking like someone who is just sleeping instead of someone who has just suffered an immense stroke.

His eyes soften when he takes in Oksana's frail figure, the elder woman lying with her head on her arms right beside her husband's unconscious body, her right hand holding Ralph's limp hand in a tight yet still affectionate manner, and this breaks Kai's heart even more, the fact that Oksana has to go through this emotional pain and hell, and there is absolutely nothing that he can do about it.

Kai stands up from his seat and he removes his phone from the pocket of his pants and after turning the screen on, he sees that it is just past ten in the morning and he can't help but to widen his eyes to this in both shock and surprise, 'Did I also lose consciousness or what?'

Shrugging to himself, he looks over at the sleeping Oksana and seeing that she is still in a slumber, he makes his way out of the hospital room because he can feel how his lungs are making amok in his body while they crave for a well deserved cigarette.

The moment he walks out of the room, his senses are ambushed by the strong scent of medical supplies, and just like that, a strong piercing pain is felt in his head, it being so immense that he temporarily loses balance for a few seconds and is forced to grab hold of the wall to keep him straight.

Kai scrunches his eyes shut in a very tight manner, he shaking his head a few times to shake the sudden dizziness from his head, and he slowly lifts his head when he feels how it disappears; however, the moment he opens his eyes, everything seems unfocused in front of him, this again causing him to shake his head a few times, this fortunately helping his eye sight and after looking around to see whether anyone has seen him, he is relieved that no one has, and then he straightens himself up so that he can continue his way to the outside world.

'I should really start thinking about seeing a doctor about this shit because it is really starting to get on my damn nerves!' Kai thinks to himself while a scowl appears on his face, he already not liking the idea that something serious could be wrong with him, but for now he is going to brush it off because Ralph is way more important right now.

Kai reaches the outside world and for a change the world is bathed in clear sunlight, not a cloud in sight, but it does not mean that it is less freezing. Kai tightens his coat around his body and starts to make his way to a bench that he spots some distance away and after taking a seat, he removes his smoking stuff and takes a very deep drag as soon as he lights the cigarette, his entire body shuddering from sheer pleasure and relief the moment the chemicals hit his lungs and system, and Kai can suddenly feel how a sense of calm comes over his body, some of the tension leaving his body from this well deserved cancer stick.

He decides that after he has smoked his second his cigarette, he will first call Vera to tell her that she will have to clear the rest of his meetings for the week due to what has happened to Ralph, and after that, he will call Alisia and Tala to tell them what had happened and then he will come to the most difficult part: calling the children to let them know what has happened to their father, he also knowing that he will have to call Nora because she will never forgive him if he does not.

After making all of the heartbreaking calls to the children and smoking one last cigarette, Kai finally makes his way back into the hospital, he cranking his head from side to side as he makes his way up the stairs in an attempt to loosen some of the tension in his neck and shoulder area, but it proves futile.

He can feel that he needs a few hours of sleep just to repower and get cleaned up, and that is why he is going to try and coax Oksana into leaving Ralph's bedside, even just for a couple of hours so that they both can get refreshed for whatever lies ahead for them all.

Hopefully by tomorrow all three children of Oksana and Ralph will be here, and Kai can't help but to think to himself that he never wants to make these types of phone calls ever again; it is just not him nor is it him to be capable of handling these type of telephone conversations; he really is truly messed up in the emotional department.

Kai finally reaches the room and he stands in the door way for a few seconds, his heart breaking upon seeing how Oksana is just clenching Ralph's hands in hers and silently praying for his health; he can't even begin to imagine what Oksana must be going through, especially after the conversation Kai and Ralph had about love, so if Ralph was always so torn about being away from Oksana, he is not sure he will be able to fathom what Oksana must be going through seeing as women are more emotional than men, so this truly must be one agonising hell for her.

Kai silently makes his way into the room and he comes to stand right behind Oksana and places his hands on to her shoulders, she not even looking up at him but at least she releases her left hand and places it on top of Kai's hand to show that she appreciates his presence.

"I called the kids, mama Oksana, and they are all making arrangements as we speak to get here as soon as possible," Kai says softly while he keeps his eyes on the elder man in the bed, his chest suddenly feeling like someone has slammed a hammer into it with a crushing force.

Oksana squeezes Kai's hand to this, "I appreciate it, my boy."

The two remain silent for a while longer as they both keep their eyes on Ralph, each one of them trying to make sense of this all in their own way.

"I can't lose him, Kai, I can't lose my Ralph, because without him...I am nothing. I can't lose my partner," she says softly, the elder woman again getting all choked up as tears again start to well up within her eyes, her eyes already red and puffy from all of the crying, but it does not seem like the tears will stop from flowing anytime soon.

Kai only squeezes Oksana's shoulders because he does not know what else to do, he definitely cannot say anything because again, he does not have the capabilities to be able to handle this emotional situation; all that he can do is to assure Oksana that he is here for her, that his shoulder is broad enough to cry on whenever she needs to.

"Mama Oksana, I know you would not agree to this but let's go home for a little while; you need sleep and when we have rested and have cleaned up, we can come back, okay?"

To Kai's surprise, Oksana nods her head and gets up, Kai taking a few steps back so that he can give Oksana some space, and after she leans down and kisses her unconscious husband on top of his head, they gather their stuff and start making their way out of the room, and even though Kai does not want to leave Ralph's side, he knows that he and Oksana cannot run on fumes, they need some rest. Hopefully with the children here, it will be somewhat easier on Oksana, but that is just wishful thinking on his part because he doubts that there will be anything anyone can do when your mate is on the brink of death and knowing that there is nothing anyone can do to pull that person back.

Kai suddenly thinks about Mya, he realising that he has not even called her but maybe it is for the best right now. Even though he needs her so much right now, Oksana and Ralph needs him more right now, and for now he will put his 'adoptive parents' before anyone and anything else.

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No matter what he does, he just cannot fall asleep, he constantly tossing and turning in the large and empty bed, he just not able to get into a comfortable position to fall asleep, but he is almost certain that even if he does get into a comfortable position, his mind would not allow him to fall asleep seeing as it is constantly busy, it milling about so many things all at the same time, and it is going to drive him crazy any minute now if he does not do something to get him somewhat distracted.

He is currently sitting on the window sill of his bedroom, knees drawn up to his chest with the ashtray at his feet where three cigarette buds are already lying, but it seems that he has smoked enough for now.

There is no improvement in Ralph's condition, but he has also not deteriorated so that is at least some good news and a somewhat good sign; as long as Ralph does not worsen, everyone can stay hopeful that he will wake up again, he won't be the same but he will at least be alive, and Kai will get the best medical help that money can buy to ensure that Ralph makes a full recovery or at least as far as his body will allow it.

However, Kai can only sigh to this in a defeated manner, 'Yeah, that is IF he ever gets up from that that hospital bed,' he thinks to him in a rather pessimistic manner even if he knows that he should not be so negative.

Kai looks at his alarm clock and he sees that it is 02:23, and accepting that he is not going to fall sleep anytime soon, he gets up from the window sill and makes his way towards his closet so that he can get dressed and head to the hospital; he wants some time alone with Ralph.

Kai reaches the hospital in no time, he arriving here with his pick-up truck after deciding that the other cars are too loud for him right now, and he is not the in the mood to hear a roar in his ears right now. He knows that it is not visiting time right now, but this is his hospital and they will do as he says and commands or they may just find themselves without a job.

He enters the hospital and as expected, it is direly quiet, it almost unsettling to the mob boss, but he shakes it off as he makes his way through the silent reception area with his hands in the pockets of his black trench coat, he making his way towards the elevators seeing as they have moved Ralph to the second floor.

The elevator 'dings' when he reaches the second floor and when he walks out, he looks straight into the faces of two of the nurses sitting at the nurse's station, both nurses looking equally surprised to see Kai at this time of the hour.

"Mr Hiwatari, is something wrong?" the red headed nurse asks while she gets up from her seat, she still looking surprised at seeing him here.

"I came to see Ralph," Kai says sternly while he looks at the nurse with no expression on his face, so that she can get the message that he is not going to wait around for them to give him permission to do so.

"Err...sure, go right ahead; just call if you need any assistance."

Kai only nods his head once before walking towards Ralph's room, the two nurses quietly looking at each other with questioning looks on their faces, but neither says a word and the red head only shrugs her shoulders before taking up her seat once more and not saying anything else about this unexpected visitor of theirs.

Kai enters Ralph's room very silently and then pulls a chair closer so that he can take a seat right next to Ralph, Kai taking the elder man's left hand into both his hands while he looks up at the unconscious man.

"You have to get better, papa Ralph, please," Kai says in a soft tone of voice, he quickly realising just how broken he currently sounds, but he does not care because no one is here to see him right now, to see him in this fragile state of mind right now and in this vulnerable moment, "I know I am being selfish, but Oksana is suffering so much, she needs you, she needs her mate right by her side, so please, please, papa Ralph, please wake up already."

Kai lowers his head and rests his forehead on the three hands, he trying with all his might to hold back the tears that just wants to flow from his eyes right now, "Please wake up, please, papa Ralph, please," Kai whispers while keeping his head down, he sounding so broken and defeated right now because it is as if everything has just suddenly dawned on him, the seriousness of the situation and the fact that he may just lose Ralph forever, Kai knowing that he is not ready to say goodbye to Ralph just yet.

Kai lifts his head and he looks up at Ralph, tears already welled up in his eyes, "Papa Ralph, please, I need you, please. My children needs to have their grandfather in their lives, you can't leave just yet; I want you to be there when I welcome my first child into the world, I need you there when I marry Mya, so you can't leave me, please. You are the only father I have ever had..." Kai again whispers, but this is because he is starting to get choked up as he continues to battle with his emotions, he trying his best to keep them below the surface for now, "I don't want to lose another father, please, Ralph, please don't leave me," and just like that, the dam breaks, Kai's tears starting to fall from his eyes while he clenches Ralph's hand even tighter in his, he keeping his eyes on Ralph while tears stream freely down his face.

"Please don't leave me alone, please..."

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He can't get past the fact of how much Nora has changed, it being clear that marriage and motherhood is doing her good; it is just too bad that this tragedy with Ralph has managed to steal that joy from her, but it is still good to see Nora for a change. It truly has been too long.

Kai continues to watch the first granddaughter of Ralph and Oksana, he looking on at how she holds her grandmother close to her while trying to comfort the elder woman in a way that only she knows how to and that only she can manage.

'If only you knew what your granddaughter and I did all those years ago, mama Oksana; I have no doubt that Ralph would immediately get out of that bed and start chasing me with a gun, trying his best to kill me for seducing your granddaughter all those years ago.'

Kai can't help but to softly chuckle to himself while he continues to watch the family share hugs and greetings after getting here from the airport just a few minutes ago, he being the one who said that he would come and get them from the airport.

Nora is the first grandchild of Ralph and Oksana, their pride and joy and the apple of their eye, she now having grown into a beautiful woman, a strong fighter, she now being completely different from the girl he had met years ago.

She was only 13 when she came to stay at the Hiwatari manor when it was school holidays and Kai, at the time 17 years old, was immediately drawn to her innocence and shyness, and despite his grandfather's constant threats of removing his balls, he still pursued the 13 year old girl, determined to take her innocence and enjoying every moment of it. They became and stayed, to his shock and surprise, good friends, even after they became lovers, and fortunately they still stay in contact, even if it is a phone call three times a year, they do still stay in contact.

Kai will admit to himself that it is good to see her once more, to be able to be surrounded by her presence and yes, she is not Mya, but at least with her around things will feel somewhat lighter right now, even if only a little, about 5%; that is at least better than nothing.

No doubt that this family needs all the love and support that they can get because this is not going to be an easy journey, especially not for Oksana, and Nora may just be able to help ease some of that pain in her heart right now.

He again looks at her and just like that, does he travel down memory lane, down to the day he finally took her virginity and how cute it was with the shy and innocent 13 year old Nora.

FLASHBACK

His hands are all over her body while he continues to take in as much as he can of her mouth, he savouring every little bit of her innocence before he completely strips it away, adrenaline, along with lust and desire coursing through his veins as he continues to push her up against the doors of his bedroom, his member already aching in between his legs from sheer arousal.

He has waited quite some time for this moment, and he can no longer contain his excitement because in mere moments, he is going to tear through her innocence and make her his, he is going to make her a woman.

Kai grabs Nora's ass cheeks and then lifts her up where he again carelessly pushes her up against the door, a silent groan being heard from deep from within her throat but he does not pull away from the seething kissing, and after kissing her hotly for a while longer, Kai pulls them away from the door and heads straight towards his bed where he carelessly drops her on to, the innocent girl only giggling at this while she lies down and perches her upper body by the elbows.

Kai smirks down at her, he taking in her entire clothed body, he already envisioning himself on how he is going to run his hands and tongue all over that naked skin of hers, that untainted and innocent skin of hers that has never been touched by a man, that has never been spoilt by the carnal desires of the flesh, a skin that he will soon taint with his darkness and selfish desires.

They finally make eye contact and while looking down at her, Kai goes down on his knees and he opens up Nora's legs, this immediately resulting in her to sit up straight and clench her legs tight while looking at him with a questioning look on her face.

"What are you doing, Kai? I thought we were just going to have sex or something."

He can't help but to chuckle at her facial expression, he almost feeling guilty for doing this to her, as in ALMOST, "I am going to lick you, Nora, it is called oral sex, and you will enjoy it, believe me. It is part of foreplay, and foreplay is very necessary when one is about to have sex."

Nora tilts her head to the side, she still having a questioning look on her face, "But I am shy, Kai."

Kai gets up from his knees and leans over Nora where he tenderly captures her lips and after kissing her silly, he pulls back and cups her left cheek while looking deep into her eyes, all while trying to muster the most innocent smile he can, "You have nothing to be ashamed about, Nora; you are a beautiful young lady and this is all natural. I just want to please you and this is one way of giving you the first taste of the pleasure that is yet to come, okay?"

He can see that she is hesitating some more but after a while, she meets his eyes once more and then nods her head, Kai smirking on the inside while he directs Nora to lie down on her back once more as he resumes his place on his knees, he again opening up her legs and lifting her skirt so that he can take hold of her panty, and after having a hold on it, he slowly starts to pull it down her tanned thighs, he getting more and more excited the further he pulls the light blue garment down her thighs, his own excitement already bubbling over the surface.

Nora continues to lie on her back, her entire body tense but who can blame her? Heck, even he was nervous as hell with what Mina was doing to him the first time, and now he is just passing that nervousness over to the next person who is about to be introduced to the wonderful world of sex.

"Relax, Nora, I am not going to hurt you," he says as he positions himself between her legs after placing her legs over his shoulders, and while looking up at Nora through dark eyelashes, he gives her clit its first lick in a sensual manner, he only smirking when he hears how the 13 year old gasps at this movement, but she says nothing else to this.

He finally starts to please her clit, her soft pubic hair tickling his lips and mouth area as he continues to go to work in pleasing her, he already knowing that it will only be a matter of minutes before she experiences her very first clitoral orgasm seeing as she has never been touched here before, he already feeling how her body is starting to tense up which indicates that an orgasm is already on the horizon.

His movements are sensual and slow, he taking care in pleasing not only her clit, but also her lips seeing as the entire area is covered with sensitive nerves, his thumb just teasing her entrance but he is not going to penetrate her now, she first needs to get properly wet.

"Kai...there aaaahhh..." she softly mutters, it now clear that she is starting to feel something stir in between her legs, something pleasurable.

He does not pull away and continues with his licking and pleasing of her womanhood, but he can feel how her legs are starting to become restless, how her body is starting to prepare itself for the oncoming assault of pleasure on it and he cannot wait to look up and see her bathe in pleasure when she experiences her first clitoral orgasm.

Finally, after a few more licks and kissing of her sensitive bud, Nora arches her upper body while moaning up into the air, she gripping the sheets in a death like grip with both of her hands while he continues to watch her through his eyelashes, all while still pleasing the clit as the pleasure courses through her body.

The moment her body drops down to the bed and she starts to heave, Kai licks the sensitive bud a few times more before lifting his head from between her legs, he getting up on to the bed so that he can hover over a pleased Nora, the little girl just heaving with her lips slightly parted and a dazed look on her face.

Obviously she feels his presence over her and she manages to open her eyes halfway, her glazed eyes looking up at him, "What...what the hell was that, Kai?" she asks in a dreamily fashion as it is clear that she is still on some type of high and is slowly coming down from it.

He can't help but to chuckle to this, she almost looking lost in all of the pleasure, and he suddenly finds it very cute, "Did you like it, Nora?"

She slowly nods her head to this while she closes her eyes once more and runs her left hand through her hair, she still relishing on the magic of the high from what her body has just experienced.

"That was an orgasm, Nora, a clitoral orgasm; it is an orgasm you achieve when that pleasure bud is constantly stimulated. There is another orgasm that is obtained through penetration and hopefully soon, you will be able to experience that one as well," he whispers softly to her before he claims her lips in a gentle manner, he certain that she is tasting herself but seeing as she is all new to this, she would most likely think that it is completely normal and not squeal or bitch about it.

The kissing between the two continues for a while longer before he completely pulls away, he gently caressing the left side of her face while he smiles down at her as she looks back up at him and returns his smile.

"Are you ready to go all the way, Nora?" he asks softly while looking deep into her eyes as he wonders to himself whether she will be able to see his true lust in his eyes, the true intentions of wanting to sleep with her.

She may think that they would up end up getting married one day as it is always with these innocent girls, they living in their own bubble, only to get woken up to the real reality that they were just used for sex, just like he is going to do with her right now; it does not mean that he is going to turn his back on her right away, she is here for another four weeks more and he can teach her all about the wonderful things about sex in those four weeks.

Nora nods her head and he kisses her one last time before getting up off from her and standing right next to the bed while she perches herself up by the elbows and looks at him with a questioning look on her face.

"What do I have to do, Kai?"

"Get undressed and then get under the covers; I am also going to get undressed and then I will get on top of you, but relax, Nora, I am not going to rush into this; we are going to take our time and I will walk you through it all, let you feel and experience every little detail."

Nora also gets off of the bed, the two of them starting to get undressed, and unlike himself, he can see how uncomfortably shy Nora is, she not meeting his eyes once as she removes her clothes, she hurrying underneath the covers after she has removed her panty, and he can again only smirk to this untainted innocence of hers.

He walks towards the drawer after getting undressed and opens it to remove a condom and the tube of lubrication, he taking both items in hand before he gets on top of Nora, she still completely naked but he is considered enough to pull the cover over them as soon as he positions himself between her legs, even if he is still standing on his knees. He wants her to see his penis, to know what it looks like and what it feels like so that she can at least be somewhat prepared of what is coming.

He can see that she is trying to look anywhere but THERE, his mini-Kai standing in all of his glory for everyone to see, but too bad for her because she has to see it, she has to feel it.

"Nora, look at me," he says softly and she turns to look him directly in the eye, the poor 13 year little girl's face being as red as a tomato from all of the blushing, he smiling warmly at her when he sees this, "have you ever seen a penis before?"

She quickly shakes her head from side to side all while still looking directly into his eyes, "Look down, Nora, look at mine; you have to see it, okay?" he says in a caring manner so that she can at least try to relax somewhat.

She still says nothing but she does nod her head, and very slowly her eyes start to travel downwards, down his body until her eyes land on his manhood, he softly chuckling when he sees how her eyes widen upon seeing a penis for the first time, and it is not a small one either.

Nora keeps her eyes on the erect member, the shock slowly disappearing from her face and is instead replaced with curiosity, and without instructing her to do anything, she sits up straight while her eyes are locked on his member.

"Can I touch it, Kai?" she asks sheepishly, he again just chuckling to this.

"Give me your hand," he says and she gives him her right hand which he gently takes, and while looking at their hands, he places her hand on his penis, he softly groaning upon feeling the sudden contact but he shakes it off as he directs her fingers around his member.

"I know it feels weird, but it is completely natural; how does it feel, Nora?"

"Interesting," she says without looking up, her eyes still on his penis and without saying anything, she slowly starts to move her hand up and down, he unable to keep the moan back as he momentarily closes her eyes from the pleasure running through his body, and when he opens up his eyes once more, he is met with her smiling face that is looking up at him.

"Does that feel good, Kai?" the young 13 year old ask in an almost teasing tone of voice which surprises Kai because of how fast that shyness of hers has disappeared, but he is not complaining at all.

"You have no idea," he breathes out, but before she can start jerking him, he removes her hand and pushes her down because now he just wants to thrust into her, to feel how he breaks her hymen and how he strips her from her innocence, tainting her with his own impurity and darkness.

She obliges and lies down, all while keeping her eyes on him and to how he goes to work in opening up the foil packet and putting on the condom, "You better pay attention because next time you are going to put it on for me, Nora," he says while looking up at Nora and smirking at her, she returning his smirk, to his shock.

She then continues to watch how he applies the transparent liquid over the condom, she not sure what it is, "Is that some type of oil that you are applying, Kai?"

"It is extra lubrication; it is to ensure that you feel the least pain seeing as this is your first time, so you will be very tight and not fully wet, so this will help for when I penetrate you."

"Oh," is her only response to this while still keeping her eyes on the task at hand, she suddenly taking a deep breath when she sees Kai finishing up and tossing the tube to the ground, her entire body suddenly tensing which again causes him to chuckle.

"Relax, Nora, I am not going to just shove it in there; I am first going to prepare the area with fingers, and only when I am satisfied that you are as comfortable as you can be, only then will I start to put it inside of you, okay?"

Again she nods her head to this while she continues to lie stiffly on her back, and seeing this, he leans over her where he captures her lips in a gentle manner where the two of them start to kiss passionately, he wanting her to relax for when he inserts his index finger, he really wanting her to experience the least pain possible; he really wants her to enjoy her first time.

END OF FLASHBACK

And enjoy she did; Kai can still remember vividly how she started to moan into his ear the moment the pain was replaced with pleasure, how she started to claw at his naked back the faster he became and the deeper his thrusts became; she may not have reached orgasm the first time, but the second time he took her, she screamed out his name in pure ecstasy when he made her come, his name sounding like honey dripping from her sweet tongue.

Kai can't help but to chuckle to himself when he also thinks back to how the two of them got after that first time; it was like he had awakened a sexual goddess in her body that constantly yearned for his body, and for his body alone. They were hormonal and aroused 24/7, they doing it every day no matter where they found themselves; it truly was a miracle from the heavens above that they were never discovered, because then there would have been hell in that household.

By the time Nora went back to her parents' place when the holidays came to an end, she was an expert in the sex department, she no longer the innocent little girl that he had first met; she had transformed into a young woman who knew that her body was a powerful weapon and that was not afraid to use it, and he couldn't have felt prouder of what he had accomplished.

Two weeks before her wedding, she called him, asking him to spend a weekend with her before she greets the single life for good, and that weekend they did not leave the hotel room once, they having as much sex as possible and enjoying every bit of it, he fulfilling her every fantasy and desire that weekend. Yes, she no longer was an innocent girl; she truly was a woman who had embraced her sexuality and who had basked in it like a goddess, and he was the one who has introduced her to that world. No doubt that her husband still tastes the fruits of that sexual goddess that has been awakened and Kai is glad for him. Every man should be able to have a wonderful sex life with his female partner, just like his sex life with Mya.

Kai shakes his head from side to side while smirking to himself, he appreciating this little trip down memory lane because it temporarily took his attention away from Ralph that still has not improved, and who will most likely never improve again.

He takes a deep breath, he finally putting his teenage memories to the back of his head because now it is time to once again face reality, to face what is at hand right now and after being certain that all of his memories have been put to the back of his mind, he gets up from his chair so that he can support Oksana and her kids once more.

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Kai casually takes another drag from his cigarette and blows it up into the air as he rests his head on the headrest of the comfortable wicker chair in the sun room, the sun once more gracing them with its bright light, even though there is still no warmth accompanying the bright light. The number of sunny days are slowly increasing as the winter is slowly but surely making its way towards Spring time, but it may be another two months or so before the snow would start to melt, and just thinking about what this means makes Kai smile softly to himself, because then he and Mya are going to start trying for a baby, he suddenly feeling very excited about that prospect of maybe having a baby this time next year.

Kai takes another drag from his cigarette while keeping his head on the headrest with his eyes closed, and before he even hears the door open, he already picks up on the presence on the other side of the door, and the moment the door opens up to the sunroom, he is greeted with Nora's perfume as she makes her way into the room in a silent manner, Kai lifting his head from the headrest after opening his eyes, but he does not look at her as she makes his way towards him, her packet of cigarettes also in hand.

She takes a seat right next to him and silently lights her cigarette before leaning back into the wicker chair, Kai watching her from the corner of his eye, he at least not annoyed by her presence next to him.

"Sven made reservations for six, if that is okay with you?" Nora says calmly while looking out to the outside world as she takes a deep drag from her cigarette.

"It's fine," Kai says as he tips the ash of the cigarette into the ashtray, he still not entirely sure if he wants to join the family for dinner, he almost feeling like an outsider and feeling like it is an intimate affair for just the family members, "Are you sure I should come along with you guys? I think that I should rather let the family be alone."

To this Nora turns her head towards Kai and she looks at him with an almost scowl on his face, Kai also looking at her but he says nothing, "And what are you, Kai? Some street mutt or what?" she snips, "You are family, idiot; since when do you not consider yourself as part of the family? I swear, if Nana heard you right now, she would slap you right across the head for insulting us all like that. You are coming, Kai, because YOU ARE FAMILY, got that?"

"Hn," Kai says while he smirks at Nora, she fortunately also returning the smirk, "I am glad to see that that fire inside you have not died yet, but rather just got stronger. Can your husband even keep up with you?"

"He doesn't really have a choice, he just has to other wise he can kiss this marriage goodbye, but he does really try his best to keep up with me; bless his soul," Nora says while placing her right hand on top of her heart while smiling mischievously at Kai, "He continues to believe that it is the family blood that is running through my veins that causes the fire, rather than you that banged me into that inferno," the two again smirking at each other after Nora says to this.

She briefly looks around the room, she now grinning widely before again turning her attention back on to Kai, "Jesus, Kai, where did we not do it in this huge manor? If I can recall, this room was one of the regular spots of ours."

Kai can't help but to chuckle as he too suddenly goes down memory lane of when he and Nora were two very hormonal teenagers, "Yeah, my grandfather probably would have removed my balls if he knew what I was doing with you, and where I was doing it with you."

Nora also laughs lightly at this, "No doubt my grandparents would have helped him, but those were the good times," Nora again taking a deep drag from the cigarette after saying this as the two of them fall into a comfortable silence while still having small smiles on their faces.

They both know that it can help distract their attention and thoughts from the current situation by going down memory lane, to at least just laugh through all of the hurt and uncertainty that they both are currently experiencing with Ralph.

However, the pleasant atmosphere cannot last forever, no matter how much they want to, life simply does not work that way.

"Do you think he will make it, Kai, and be honest, please," Nora says while looking ahead of her as she talks to him.

"I think that we all should start saying farewell, Nora, and accept that he won't get out of that bed."

Nora lowers her head but she says nothing else, and she does not need to because Kai knows exactly what is going through her head right now; he has had those same thoughts and feelings ever since Ralph got the stroke, and yes, it hurts like a bitch, but that is reality; they have to make peace now so that when that day comes where Ralph is no longer with them, it will not be such a huge shock to their systems, but even though Kai tries to convince himself and tries to prepare himself for this, he knows that no amount of preparation will be able to prepare them for the real thing, for when they get informed that their precious Ralph has passed away.

"I can't imagine a life without my grandfather, Kai, and I know that my grandmother will be completely devastated if he does not make it. I just don't understand all of this, how could this have happened to them, to the two nicest people to ever grace this planet," Nora then sighs before softly whispering the word 'why?', she whispering it more to herself than to Kai, but he has still heard her.

"We don't always understand things, Nora, and things seem so unfair sometimes, but that is just life; people die every day, family members and loved ones mourn each and every day all over the world, and unfortunately it is our time in that cycle of life, to mourn the loss of a loved one, and yes, we all will be devastated should Ralph leave us, but in the end we all will learn to live with that longing and pain. I just don't know about Oksana; seeing as Ralph is her lifeline, I am afraid that this might send her body into shock or something."

To this Nora looks at Kai, her eyes revealing that she too has been thinking about this, "The chances of her following my grandfather to the grave are high, Kai, that I will not deny. Those two were truly soul mates, and I fear that she will succumb to a broken heart, that in the end she will die of a broken heart."

"All we can do is to support her no matter what, to be there for her as much as she will allow us; other than that, it is all up to her to choose how she will mourn the loss of her husband, whether she will cope with it or just allow it to consume her, but yeah, she will follow her beloved Ralph into the grave."

And even though he says this, Kai does not want to admit it because he also does not want to lose his mother figure, no matter in which manner, but he knows that at the end of the day, he will lose her either way, either to death or to her moving away; Oksana will leave him parentless.

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He hears a familiar ringing but he has no idea where it is coming from, but it does not seem like it is going to stop anytime soon.

'What is that?' he thinks to himself because there it is again, he unable to place its origin.

It isn't until Kai wakes up that he realises that it is his phone that is ringing, he glancing at the alarm clock and sees that it 01:24, his eyes widening before he answers the phone, his entire being already filled with dread because he already knows who is calling and why.

"Kai speaking."

"Mr Hiwatari, it is Nurse Monica here from HMC. I am sorry to call you at this time, but you and the family have to come to the hospital, please. It is in regards with Mr Ralph."

Kai lowers his head while still having his phone against his ear, he immediately realising what has just happened, "We will be there as soon as we can, thanks," and then he ends the call without giving the nurse another chance to talk, Kai suddenly in a state of denial as he drops the phone on to the bed and then rests his head in his hands.

'This can't be...this just cannot be, Ralph cannot be gone...he just can't.'

Kai remains to sit like this for a few minutes more before he gets up with a heavy body, dread and sorrow suddenly resting on his shoulder like a tonne of bricks, because now he has to go and wake everyone and tell them that they have to go to the hospital, and he can already see Oksana's broken face. The nurse did not say that Ralph has died but it was not needed, because everyone knows that when a hospital calls at this time of the night and tells you to come to the hospital, it is never a good thing.

Kai takes a deep breath before opening the door of his bedroom and leaving, he not sure who he is going to wake up first and what he is going to say.

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No one has said a single word since they left Hiwatari manor in two cars, everyone at the hospital right now and waiting for someone to come and tell them what is going on, dread filling each and every pore of every person that is currently here awaiting the news from Ralph, especially seeing as no one is allowed to go into his room.

Kai is standing in a corner with his arms crossed in front of his chest while he keeps his eyes on the broken family in front of him, Oksana clutching a withered tissue in her small hands while her eldest son is holding her tight against him, the tension and dread hanging thick in the air.

Finally, after what has felt like an eternity, Valentin finally makes an appearance, he and Kai immediately making eye contact and just by looking Valentin in the eye, Kai already knows what Valentin is about to say; he does not push himself away from the wall and continues to lean against it while Valentin greets the family.

"I am sorry for letting you guys come at this hour, but I had no choice."

"Don't worry about that, Doctor, just tell us, how is my father? What happened for us come at this hour? Is he..."

"Ralph had slipped into a coma about three or four hours ago, and right after that everything started to go downhill; we tried to resuscitate him but," and Valetin shakes his head from side to side in a slow manner while looking down at the floor, "Ralph did not make it, you guys; I am really sorry, we tried everything but the stroke has just caused too much damage. I am really sorry."

A moment of silence descends on to everyone until it is broken by Oksana's heartbreaking wailing, her son trying his best to keep his mother up as the woman starts to cry for her husband that she has just lost, the intense pain and anguish clearly being heard in her wailing.

Kai remains standing against the wall, his arms uncrossed and hanging limply at the sides of his body while he tries to takes in what Valentin had just said, he still unable to believe that it has happened, that Ralph is gone.

He had expected this and on the way here to the hospital he tried to prepare himself mentally for this, but now that it is a reality...he just cannot believe it, he being in a complete state of denial right now.

Without thinking or concentrating on what he is doing, he starts to walk towards the wailing Oksana who is desperately clutching the front of her son's shirt as tears flow from her eyes.

Kai reaches them and he gently puts his hand on Sven's shoulder, the two making eye contact and Sven immediately understands what Kai is asking, and with a single nod of his head, he releases his hold on his mother where Kai wastes no time in pulling the elder woman into his arms and holds her tight against his body, he scrunching his eyes shut to keep the tears at bay for now, he still unable to believe that Ralph is truly gone.

The other remaining family members hold each other, and seeing this, Valentin excuses himself so that the grieving family can have some time to themselves to digest this heartbreaking news, and as Valentin steps away from them, he suddenly feels twenty years older than his real age, he suddenly realising that he has actually grown tired of informing family members that their loved ones have passed on.

He was never one of those careless and heartless doctors that just saw everyone as a pay check; he is still one of the few that has sympathy and compassion for his patients and for what they are going through, he having so much compassion for his fellow man, and now he can't help but to think that maybe it is also time for him to step away from the medical world, to take his wife and just go on a long holiday, because the older he gets, the more strenuous on his body it becomes every time he has to give someone this type of bad news, almost as if he is the grim reaper himself that has taken their loved ones away from them.

Valentin continues to hear Oksana's painful wailing, it pulling hard on his heart strings and with a tired mind and body, he starts to make his way towards the doctor's lounge so that he can take a breather because this is also hard on him seeing as he was also Ralph and Oksana's doctor, and he has built such a strong relationship with the Hiwatari clan, that it feels like he too has lost a family member, which he actually has.

For now he just wants to mourn on his own and in his own manner. Fortunately for him, the nurses will take over from here, escorting the family to see Ralph's body if they wish to do so.

They say the first stage of grief is denial, which is evident right now because no one wants to accept that Ralph is truly one, it all feeling like one horrible nightmare right now and they all are wishing that it would just come to an end already because it is not funny anymore. These last couple of days have been pure hell and now it seems that it is only getting worse with no end in sight to this relentless and painful dark tunnel.

Kai finally lets go of Oksana because now it finally dawns on him what is truly going on and he suddenly feels like a trapped animal, his chest starting to feel constricted and now he just wants to get out of here, to get out of here and head straight for the blistering cold outside so that it can least try to wake him from this horrible reality right now.

Without saying anything to anyone or without looking anyone in the eye, Kai makes his way out of the waiting room, Nora silently following him with her tear stricken eyes before she also embraces her grandmother tightly to try and console her fragile grandmother right now.

Nora knows that this must be hard for Kai seeing as Ralph was like a father to him; Ralph had raised him like his own son, he had taken care of Kai and he had protected Kai with his own life, so in truth Kai has also lost his father along with the rest of them, and she knows by now that everyone has their own way of accepting the death of someone, and Kai is one of those people who want to do in silence and solitude which is why he probably left right now.

Nora turns her attention back on to her wailing grandmother, she pulling her grandmother even closer to her body while she also starts to softly sob due to the heart wrenching loss of her grandfather, the man that was a saint in human in her personal opinion, and she already knows that life will be less colourful with her grandfather no longer being there.

Now comes the hard part of starting to make arrangements with the funeral and all of the complicated and hurtful things that goes with the death of a loved one, but at least Oksana has lots of support that will help her and take the strain from her shoulders, so at least the broken elder woman does not have to worry about these things right now.


This part of the chapter was really hurtful to write for me and I had to take a few breaks in between in order to get my emotions under control after getting choked up because I took this from real experience. I lost my uncle two years ago, and I always called him and my aunt my city mother and city father because that is how it felt for me, but anyway, my uncle ended up in hospital, in the ICU, and we were certain that he was going to be okay until one night. In the middle of the night the landline rang, and I immediately woke up and just knew that something was wrong. My aunt answered the phone and it was the staff at the ICU that told her that she has to come immediately, so we all got dressed quickly and just as we reached the car to get in, my aunt's cellphone rang and this time it was the doctor to inform her that they had tried everything but they could not save my uncle, and again now, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes because it really was no a nice experience.

It truly had felt like I had lost a father, and it was the first time in my entire life that I saw a dead person, he looked so peaceful on his bed, and not like a person that had just passed away. This was my way of paying some tribute to my uncle, to put this into this story.

I had always planned that Ralph was going to die when I started this story a long time ago, but then my uncle passed away, and I decided to use some of that and combine it with Ralph's story line to honour my uncle in some way.

AN: there may be a slight chance that updates will not be for a while, I am not certain at this moment. I will try my best to try and keep to the schedule of the 15th and every end of the month, but if I do not update, just know that this story is not abandoned; it is just that circumstances are preventing me from updating. I am currently going through a lot of shit and I have so much stuff to sort out in my life and my stress levels are just getting higher and higher, but I hope to have everything sorted by December, fingers crossed. This also means that I will not be reading any of the stories that I am currently following and will also not be able to review, so I do apologise to everyone; it really breaks my heart to do this but that is just life, and I am currently receiving a lot of bitch slaps from life, and it both sucks and hurts.

Even though I will not be able to reply to any reviews, I would still like to hear your views on this chapter and whether you also felt sad about Ralph's unexpected death; I know many are wondering about Kai's health, and more will be revealed in future chapters but everything will only be confirmed in the epilogue will contain a lot of information such as why Vladimir betrayed his own family and what is ailing Kai's body, so answers will come in the future.

Again thank you so much for sticking with me through with this incredible long story, and I promise that I will complete it; the only thing that will stand between me and the completion of this story will be death itself, but other than that, I will finish it. I at least have about 2000 words already down for the second last chapter, so it is progressing even if it is very slowly.

I hope to be able to post on the 15th, but of not, just keeps your eyes open for the next update which will come, I promise.

Anyway, take care you guys and stay safe ;-D

Many love and blessings to everyone :-)