Chapter Seventy-Six: Luke's Interlude
Mama was fearless.
Luke knew that for a lot of reasons. The first was Dad.
Luke knew with the same certainty that he knew Mama's and Leia's presences in the Force that Dad would never do anything to harm them. That didn't mean that Dad wasn't scary sometimes. His presence in the Force sometimes as cold, harsh, and unforgiving as the blizzard that came through Aldera a few years ago. Other times, it could be a roaring inferno of anger and what Luke was starting to suspect was just a bit of madness, especially when he was angry. The hint of the person that the rest of the galaxy was terrified of for good reason. Because Luke had never been under any illusion that Dad was a good person to everyone. They'd been taught too much about the Empire and its injustices to ever really think that, even though Leia denied it for a long time.
But while Luke and Leia even tread carefully around their father when he was in an awful mood, Mama was unaffected. She usually gave Dad that unimpressed look she gave him and Leia when they got into something they shouldn't have. Then he might say something mean, Mama would return in kind, and they'd go back and forth until Dad went from a blizzard or inferno to the cloudy overcast in the Force that held the promise of a terrifying storm in the right conditions but was mostly harmless. Mama and Dad going back and forth like that was practically background noise at this point, even though they'd gotten a lot better over the years. Especially lately, now that they'd mostly stopped pretending like they didn't really care about each other.
The second reason Luke knew that Mama was fearless was… well, everything else. Aunt Breha used to fuss over Mama for the stuff she got into all the time when she thought Luke, Leia, and Winter weren't there or paying attention. Surrounded on all sides by stormtroopers? Chased through hyperspace by the Empire while trying to get a Jedi to safety? A blaster injury to the leg? Encountering Dad on a mission when they both had opposing objectives? Mama shrugged and sometimes outright laughed it all off, much to Aunt Breha's frustration.
"Ahsoka," Aunt Breha said. "You can't keep doing this. You have children to think about. They'd be devasted if something happened to you."
"I am thinking about them," Mama snapped. She usually took Aunt Breha's fussing in good humor, but Luke might be in a bad mood, too, with a blaster burn to the hip. "I'm thinking that if I don't stop the Empire, they'll have to hide forever. And we both know it's a matter of time before that stops working."
"But do you have to be so reckless about it?" Aunt Breha asked, not backing down. She never did. Not from anyone. "I lose sleep at night wondering what you've gotten yourself into when I haven't heard from you."
"It's not reckless if it's within my ability to handle," Mama replied, this time more gently.
"This goes beyond Luke and Leia, and you know it," Aunt Breha said firmly. Then more softly, she said, "You don't owe the galaxy anything. You don't owe Vader anything."
"Actually, I kind of do." Then Mama said, "I'll be fine, Breha. Trust me. Most people have a lot more to fear from me than I have from them."
Either way, there wasn't anything in the galaxy that Luke knew of that would give his mother pause, let alone scare her.
That was why when he sensed the brief spike of fear from Mama, before she realized it and sealed off their bond from her end, Luke knew something was wrong.
"Is Aunt 'Soka okay?" Winter asked softly, seeing Mama pace past their open bunk yet again as she'd been doing for the last hour.
Luke looked at Leia, who was frowning and had her eyebrows furrowed.
"I think it's the baby," she said, confirming Luke's suspicion.
Everything that was wrong with Mama usually had something to do with the baby nowadays. But not really wrong. More like annoying to their Mama. She didn't complain, but Luke could tell when she was getting uncomfortable and hot in the capes and jackets that she wore to hide her stomach. Or when him and Leia helped her prop her feet up at night because her ankles were swollen after a long day on her feet. Or how she'd stopped practicing with her lightsabers because her stomach was in the way. Or lately, how she got this sad, worried look on her face.
But this was a different type of wrong. Mama wasn't just a little annoyed. Something was happening, and whatever was happening was enough to scare Mama.
"The baby's never made her act this way before," Winter stated.
"No. It hasn't," Leia replied.
Luke decided that if Mama was going to block them out, he could at least touch the place in the Force where he knew the baby to be. Almost immediately, the baby touched back, much stronger than usual even. So if Mama was scared, it wasn't because anything was suddenly wrong with the baby.
He opened his mouth to say that when their mother let out a painful cry, followed by one of Dad's more vulgar curses. He, Leia, and Winter didn't need to consult with each other before they all dashed out their bunk. They found Mama in the conference area sitting on the floor on her knees with her hands holding onto her stomach and trying to control her breaths.
"Mama?" Luke asked tentatively.
"Hold on, little ones," Mama said tightly. She took another breath and said, "I'm okay."
Whatever pain had struck Mama passed, and she pulled herself to her feet before going to sit on the benches against the wall. She gestured them over to her, and this time Luke, Leia, and Winter did pause to look at each other.
"Hurry up," Mama said in the firm tone she used when she was about to start giving orders. "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to think about anything else, let alone talk."
When they were all standing in front of her, Mama began, "We'll be dropping out of hyperspace soon. Over Imperial center. I'm not clear what exactly we're going to find, but more than likely it's going to be a space battle. Normally this wouldn't be something for you to be concerned with. But the baby's coming, and I won't be able to pilot the ship past the fights and blockade to the surface."
"What do you mean 'the baby's coming'?" Leia asked urgently.
She already knew. They all did. But Leia was always going to ask for clarity on things.
"I mean, she's coming in the next few hours."
The only other pregnant person Luke had been around was Winter's aunt, years ago. And by the time they'd seen her again, her cousin was a chubby three-month-old that could laugh and smile. The only images he had of people having babies were from the shows on the holocaster and holonet, and it was always tense and dramatic and, frankly, terrifying. He knew, of course, that it wasn't always like that. But Luke was pretty sure having a baby when they were about to drop into the middle of a space battle was worse than the dramatic situations on holo. That was without mentioning that Mama was the only adult around. No Aunt Breha. No Dad. No Diya or Obi-wan or Rex. Just them.
If Luke wasn't already scared enough, his mother's next words did the trick.
"Luke, you're going to have to fly us down to the surface."
"Me? Mama, I can't—"
"Yes. You can. You have to."
"But I've never flown anything like this! I've never…"
"It's just like the flight simulators. Nadia told me how you're lightyears more advanced in the simulations than any of her licensed pilots. If you're that far advanced, you can do it. You have to, little one," Mama said.
It was gentle, but it was also an order that he had no choice but to follow. Even though he didn't know if he could follow it. Even though he wasn't fearless like Mama was.
Mama frowned at him and then laughed. She reached out for his hands, and when Luke took them, she pulled him close and pressed a kiss to them.
"I'm not fearless, little one," Mama said.
The mind shielding Dad and Mama taught Luke when he could barely walk must have been weak right now because Mama usually couldn't read his thoughts. Not like that anyway. It seemed like she could sometimes. But that was because Luke and Leia were like their Dad sometimes, and Mama knew what Luke and Leia were going to do before they even decided it based on her experience with him.
"But you are," Luke insisted. "You're the bravest person I know."
Mama laughed again. "But that doesn't mean I'm fearless. It only means that I know how to put my fear aside to do what needs to be done. It means I don't let my fear control me. It's one of the first things you have to learn to be a Jedi."
"But you're not a Jedi anymore," Luke reminded her.
"No. I'm not," Mama agreed. "But I learned some good lessons from them. This was one."
Mama's hands suddenly tightened around his, and she grimaced, pain leaking into the Force around them, even though Mama was trying to keep it to herself. When the pain subsided, Mama let out a breath and continued.
"I know it's going to be scary. But you can't let that stop you. You've been learning to fly for years. And you've been learning the maneuvers you're going to need today for more than a year now. You can do this. Artoo will help you. Remember, the Force is with you. Trust it. Listen to it. It will guide you. Always."
Luke swallowed and nodded his head.
"Okay."
Mama gave Luke specific instructions about where to go to land when they broke Imperial Center's atmosphere. Or, at least, as specific as she could get through her pains. Finally, it was clear to Luke that Mama couldn't do much more talking. So he assured her that he understood and would be fine even though he was far from fine. Then Winter helped Mama to one of the bunks while he and Leia strategized in the cockpit. They were thirty minutes from dropping out of hyperspace.
"I'll manage the guns," Leia said after she shut down Threepio. The last thing they needed was him panicking over their shoulders. "If we're going to be dropping out of hyperspace in the middle of a space battle, we're probably going to have to shoot at some people."
As Luke worked with Artoo to prepare for their drop, he couldn't help being slightly in awe of Leia. Like Mama, she was fearless. Or brave, rather. She was calm and put together like Mama with the only thing out of place about her being a lock of hair that managed to escape the two buns she wore on either side of her head.
"How are you not scared? How do you talk about it like we're just about to pull a prank on one of the pilots?" Luke asked.
"I was that first time. On Alderaan. But it just starts to go away when you realize you either do it or something worse happens. Especially after they killed Aunt Breha," Leia finished in a whisper.
Sometimes, Luke saw Leia's dreams. And when they were bad enough, Leia slept in bed with him. So he knew that Leia still had nightmares about when Aunt Breha was killed. Luke had been with Winter. But Leia had been standing right there next to their aunt. Moff Tarkin had given the order, and Leia watched the stormtrooper put four bolts through Breha's chest. How she'd been able to think past it all to get out her blaster and shoot back, Luke still didn't understand, despite Leia's explanation.
"So I either do this or…"
Luke trailed off. He didn't want to think about it.
You should think about it, Leia answered across their bond. Think about what will happen if you don't get us onto Imperial Center.
Then aloud, Leia added, "Mama thinks about what will happen to us if she and Daddy fail. It's why she's fearless. That's what I think about when I use a blaster."
Luke didn't answer as he turned in his seat, trying to ignore the muffled cry of their mother in the back and the echoes of pain permeating the Force. Winter briefly came into the cockpit with a stack of blankets and towels in her hand to ask where the largest medical kit was before dashing back out.
The alarm signaling they were about to drop out of hyperspace soon began to flash.
"Two minutes," Leia said, getting in position to manage the guns.
Artoo plugged into the computer and beeped, You can do this.
"Glad to know you have more confidence in me than I do," Luke replied.
Your dad destroyed a Trade Federation control ship when he was younger than you, the droid tried to point out helpfully.
Luke knew that. Obi-wan told them the story. It didn't help his nerves.
"Trust the Force," he muttered to himself. He opened himself to the energy that he'd been aware of as long as, if not longer than, he'd been aware of Leia. "Trust the Force."
"Ready?" Leia asked.
"As ready as I'm going to be," Luke replied, gripping the controls of the ship.
"It'll be just like Black Krayt and Pearl," Leia said.
That got a laugh out of Luke.
They dropped out of hyperspace.
Luke only had a few seconds to take in the scene before him. Imperial TIEs. Two types. Regular ones and the ones with the Imperial Center Fleet's special insignia, comprised of the best and brightest pilots from the top military academies. Or, as May put it when Nadia told them this, the ones who had the least problems following inhumane orders in service of the Empire. He also recognized his father's fleet of destroyers facing off against the Imperial Center Fleet, and groups of transports with ground troops attempting to get past the blockade and down to the surface of the planet.
That was all Luke could take in before he had to veer left to dodge an oncoming TIE. It wasn't after them, though. It was chasing after the transports trying to get to the surface. More TIEs zoomed passed them, but seeing as they weren't the target of the fight, they were largely ignored.
At first, anyway.
The hailing signal on the ship began to go off, and Luke chanced a glance in Leia's direction.
"Should we answer it?"
"That's exactly what I'm about to do," Leia replied.
She fired two shots at an incoming Imperial Center Fleet TIE. The next second, more TIEs were coming up behind them.
"Leia! What did you do that for?" Luke demanded. "Now we're being chased!"
"Well, we're an unmarked ship that both sides were probably assuming was the enemy. Now that Dad's side has seen me take out the Imperial Center TIEs, they'll just not shoot, and we'll only have to worry about one side chasing after us."
"Or we could have just waited for Dad to recognize Mom's ship and call off the TIEs!"
"Now, we don't have to wait."
"Sure. Having some of the best pilots in the galaxy chasing after us instead because you're a good shot is a good thing?" Luke asked, flying out the range of the TIEs on their tail.
"I'll worry about them. You just get us past that blockade."
"Well, that's a lot harder to do now that I have to dodge people shooting at us!"
No sooner than he said this did Luke have to veer out the way of fire coming at them from the front.
"You won't have to dodge that long if you hurry up and get us onto the planet," Leia snapped, shooting two more TIEs off their radar.
"It's not as easy as it looks from outside the flight simulators, Leia," Luke snapped. "Every time I see an opening on the radar, someone shoots at us."
Leia didn't answer that, more focused on the enemy fighters ganging up on them.
"Trust the Force," Luke muttered to himself to calm himself down. He repeated the mantra once again. "Trust the Force. Listen to it. And it will guide you. Put your fear aside and do what needs to be done."
Luke controlled his breathing the way Mama showed him and Leia when she taught them how to meditate. He inhaled and, with an exhale, offered his fear into the Force.
"Trust the Force," he repeated.
Don't follow the radar.
Luke reached over and turned it off, ignoring Artoo's alarmed exclamations and then Leia when she realized what Artoo was saying. Luke tuned them both out. Them. The echoes of his mother's increasing pain in the Force. His father's Force presence just at the edge of his senses because he was somewhere nearby in the midst of all the chaos.
There. Now.
Luke gunned the thrusters on the ship and zoomed forward to a narrow opening between two ships from the fleet that would just let them get by.
Luke! Are you insane? Leia mentally shouted at him.
Luke ignored her as he continued on while chanting his mantra, "Trust the Force. Trust the Force. Trust—"
He turned the ship sideways at the last possible moment to just squeeze through the long narrow opening between enemy ships and before they could realize that Luke hadn't crashed them to their fiery deaths.
"We're through!" Luke exclaimed.
"Oh, thank the Force!" Leia exclaimed in relief as she collapsed into the co-pilot chair, sounding very much like Threepio in that moment. Artoo shared a similar sentiment.
Luke ignored them both as he steered the ship to the discreet docking bay Mama had directed him to go while calming his racing heart.
Mama may not be fearless. But if she did stuff like that all the time, then Luke was pretty sure she was the closest to it that any sentient being could be. And maybe, one day, he would be too.
AN: 1) Writing Luke and Leia as children in this alternate universe has been an interesting exercise. There are some things that stay the same. But inevitably, they'd be different because they're raised different than in canon. For instance, Leia has a leagues better relationship with Vader in this universe than canon, but she still grapples with all the atrocities he's committed. She has a sharp wit still and learns from a young age to keep secrets, but she's not groomed for politics this time around to keep some of her personality in check. So her tempermant is a little more obviously her father.
Luke on the other hand is not a farm boy who feels the need to prove himself amongst a bunch of people who have been fighting the Empire and training for that purpose. His family heritage hasn't been kept secret from him, he knows about his powers and they haven't been repressed, so he doesn't have this need to prove himself by seeking out reckless acts of courage and idiocy. Which means, he wasn't particularly eager to fly a ship into battle at ten. Also, he still hero-worships but in his universe, but he also grew up knowing his father wasn't the hero of this universe and doesn't want to emulate himself after Vader. So in this universe, that energy has been redirected to Ahsoka.
2) It is not a spoiler to say that the next chapter is a mildly graphic birth scene. Personally, I don't see much graphic about it since I'm not writing in detail the things that make it truly a graphic experience, but just a heads up.
Hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow please. I appreciate the support and insights.
