Hello everyone! I hope you all have had a good week! Sorry for the delay on this one, this whole writing funk I'm in has made it a little hard to sit down and focus, but I'm doing my best. And, after some rewrites, I really like how this chapter came out. I hope you all like it as well!
Hope you all have a great weekend, thank you so much for reading!
SEVENTY SEVEN
Casey's eyes focused on the dark ceiling above him as his hand rested over his bare stomach, his chest moving up and down steadily as he breathed, while the only sound in the room was coming from that of Gabby as he heard her faint, soft snores. He wasn't sure what time it was, all he knew was that it was late, or it might be classified as early now, as it was impossible to tell since he hadn't looked at the clock in awhile. But all he did know was that he'd been laying here for a long time, and he wasn't able to fall asleep.
He'd tried, he'd done his best to go to sleep as he knew his body needed the rest. And he'd gotten close a few times, Matt dozing in and out as he tried to give in to his strong desire for sleep. But, despite his best efforts, he hadn't been able to; no matter what he tried to do.
And he had a strong feeling that the reason he wasn't able to completely rest, was because every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the image of Gabby huddled on the ground in the back of Molly's. It was a sight that was still haunting him, one he hadn't been able to really let go of as the entire night kept replaying over and over in his mind. And one of the results of that was his inability to turn his brain off.
So eventually he just stopped trying, Matt continuing to lie on his back as Gabby was sleeping next to him. Though she wasn't curled up against him like she had been when they first went to bed, as Gabby had rolled away from him at some point earlier in the night, he could still feel her body heat next him, her back brushing against his arm as her body moved slightly with each breath. And from what he could tell, she seemed to be sleeping peacefully, just like she had been all night.
It had taken her a while to fall asleep at first, Matt knowing she was still on edge after what happened, but eventually she'd managed to succumb to her exhaustion. And she'd been asleep ever since. Which was all he wanted, especially considering he was worried she wouldn't fall asleep at all. So he was just glad she had, as Gabby was all he cared about right now.
Even though he really wished he could fall asleep, too.
He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt her shift beside him, Matt turning to look at her just as she rolled over in her sleep, Gabby now facing him once more as she cuddled herself down against the mattress. It was clear she'd moved around subconsciously, Gabby obviously trying to get comfortable as she slept, her face squished up against the pillow as her arms were now tucked up against her chest.
She was close enough to where he could feel her breath hitting his shoulder, Matt smiling softly as he watched her continue to sleep, the man sure this was as peaceful as he'd seen her all night. She looked content, and at ease, that much he knew for sure as her face held no signs of distress or worry. And to him, that was a minor miracle; one he was thankful for.
He continued watching her for a few more moments, Matt finding comfort in her resting, before ultimately deciding he needed to do something about his lack of they didn't work tomorrow, and neither of them would be going if they did, he knew he still needed to get as much rest as possible, as he was sure they'd have a long day ahead of them.
But as it was clear that just lying here wouldn't do the trick, Matt figured getting up and walking around for a bit likely couldn't hurt, as it might help him clear his mind a bit. Blowing out a soft sigh, Matt glanced towards Gabby once more, the man reaching over to brush away the strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face as he took her in one last time, Gabby instinctively leaning into his hand while she slept. The action made him smile, Matt stroking his thumb along her head before he pulled his hand away and slowly got up, Casey doing all he could to not disturb her rest as he got out of bed.
A chill ran through him as he stood there in just his pajama pants, the boyfriend reaching down to gently pull the covers back up over Gabby as they were currently just above her waist, Matt not wanting her to get cold while he was gone. And once he'd completed that task, he walked around the bed towards their bag, knowing he'd need to get a shirt on before he went any further.
He'd gotten one out to sleep in when he and Gabby were getting ready for bed earlier in the night, but he wasn't even able to get into it before his girlfriend asked if she could sleep in it, Matt giving it to her without a second thought. But now he needed one for himself, Matt quickly and quietly grabbing another one of his shirts from their bag and pulling it over his head, before he slipped out of the bedroom without making a sound.
As his feet padded down the dark hallway, Matt knew he needed to remain quiet out here as well, as his mother was asleep in the living room, the man slowly making his way towards the kitchen. Luckily, he was able to get to his destination without disturbing her rest, the light above the stove lighting his way as he hoped that after a quick glass of water, he'd be able to go lay down and get some sleep.
After filling up his cup as quietly as he could, he leaned his body weight against the counter, Matt taking slow sips of the cold liquid as he felt it go all the way down his throat. And, similarly to how things had gone all night, it was impossible for his mind not to wander while he stood here, Matt unable to think of anything other than Gabby and what she'd gone through tonight.
And the longer he stood here, the angrier it made him. The thought of Bryan being close to her, of him watching her, of him doing whatever he wanted, of him terrorizing her just because he could… it infuriated him. And he couldn't shake that feeling. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he wanted to ignore it, he couldn't. The hurt and worry he felt, combined with the rage flood his system, it only continued to build with every passing second.
But what was worse than that, was the overwhelming feeling of guilt bubbling over in his gut.
Because this never should've happened at all.
And it was his fault.
"Honey."
Matt looked up from his drink when he heard a familiar voice, his eyes moving towards the doorway to find his mother standing there, a look of slight confusion covering her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. Even in his tired state, he didn't miss the way she was watching him, like this wasn't the first time she'd tried getting his attention as she took a step into the room.
"You alright?" She asked softly, Matt plastering a weak smile on his face before he nodded.
"I'm fine, mom… Sorry I woke you up." He told her, Matt finishing the last sip of his water before placing the glass in the sink behind him, Nancy shaking her head slightly before continuing towards him.
"It's fine." She responded, the woman stopping by the small table in the kitchen. "Did you just wake up?"
"Oh, uh- I've been up for a little bit." He replied, Matt not wanting to worry her too much by telling her he had yet to actually get any sleep. "I just figured if I got up and walked around some, that might help me fall back asleep… But I really didn't mean to wake you, I know you have to work tomorrow."
"Matthew." She spoke, her stern voice causing him to stop himself. "You don't need to keep apologizing." She reprimanded gently, Matt giving her another soft smile before he nodded. But Nancy could see right through it, the woman's eyebrows furrowing slightly before she pulled out on the chairs at the table "...You wanna come sit for a second?"
The younger Casey bit down on the inside of his cheek for a moment, before ultimately nodding, Matt walking towards his mom and slowly sitting down next to her, the air around them heavy as they both were aware of the lingering uncertainty around them. Uncertainty stemming from the fact that Nancy was worried about her son and his girlfriend, but she knew she could only ask him so much.
Taking a moment to really look at him, even in her tired haze Nancy was able to see the weight Matt was carrying on his shoulders, her boy looking beyond exhausted as his normally bright blue eyes were red and lifeless. And as the seconds ticked by, she couldn't help but become more and more concerned, Nancy wishing there was anything she could do to make this better.
"...Is Gabby sleeping?" She questioned after a minute, the older woman figuring that an easy place to start as Matt gave her a nod.
"She is." He answered softly, his voice barely sounding like his own as his fingers tapped nervously against the table. "She's been asleep most of the night."
"That's good." Nancy responded simply, Matt nodding in agreement before averting his eyes back down to his lap. "She looked pretty tired when you all got here, I'm glad she's getting some rest."
"Me too."
The woman nodded, her eyes raking over her son for another second as she continued trying to get a read on him. But it was hard, as he kept closing himself off at any given opportunity, Nancy knowing this side to Matt well as he often shut down around her when things go hard. And, no matter how much she wanted to help, she knew this wasn't a situation she could push too hard, either.
But she still wanted to help in any way she could, even if she didn't entirely know what was going on.
"How is she doing?" She asked, Matt lifting his head back up once he registered her question, Nancy seeing the exact moment hesitance began to cloud his features as he was unsure of how to respond to his mother. "It's just a question, sweetheart… I don't need to know what's going on, I'm just wondering if she's alright." Nancy did her best to assure him, the elephant in the room only becoming more apparent as they continued stepping around the issue. The issue Matt knew his mom was aware of, at least to an extent, but they couldn't get into. Because, true to her word, she wouldn't make him talk about it.
Drawing in a slow, slightly unsteady breath, Matt shrugged slightly, the man thinking of how to best respond to her as dozens of thoughts ran through his mind. "She's, uh… She's okay, considering." He spoke carefully, Nancy giving him a nod as she reached out to squeeze his arm. "She's handling it all okay, I think, but- I don't know." He stuttered out, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as her head tilted to the side. "I can't- I think she's alright, but all of this, it's-"
He began to mutter under his breath, Nancy's worry increasing by the second as she saw how lost her son was, Matt bringing a hand up to rub over the side of his face before he pressed his fingers tightly against the bridge of his nose, like he was trying to will away the aching in his head.
"I don't… I don't know."
"Okay, honey…"
"I don't know." He repeated, his eyes clenched together before he brought both of his hands up to cover his face, Nancy reaching out towards him again as he started to hunch over. "I…"
"Matthew…" She murmured, stroking her thumb over his arm as he breathed heavily. "It's okay-"
"No it's not." He fought back instantly as he lifted his head up, Nancy seeing the tears sitting in his eyes as she realized just how broken he was over what was happening to Gabby. "This isn't okay."
"Sweetheart-"
"None of this is okay!" He continued, his emotions getting the best of him as he fought to keep some semblance of control, Nancy's heart breaking as she was beginning to see first hand how much this was affecting them. "It can't be okay. I failed her, mom." He spoke roughly, his anger clearly directed at himself as Nancy's face fell, tears forming in her own eyes. "I can't protect her."
"Matt…"
"I let her down!" He choked out, Matt needing to get this off his chest more than he realized as a deep frown set in across Nancy's features. "I couldn't do the one thing I promised I would. I swore up and down I'd keep her safe, that I wouldn't let him hurt her again. And he did." He spat harshly, his voice raspy as a lump was beginning to form in his throat.
His words were enough to put her on edge, Nancy not even sure if he realized the extent of what he was saying as he spoke in anger. But the pieces of what was going on were continuing to come together in her mind, and for what she thought she already knew, she had no doubts now as she listened to her son speak.
And it made her heart hurt for Gabby.
Even without knowing the extent of it, Matt had not only confirmed what she already knew, but brought some of her worst fears for Gabby to light; that whoever had hurt her had come back.
And by the looks of it, that's exactly what Matt was concerned about, too.
"I can't… I can't keep her safe. I wasn't able to. I was with her, I was right in the next room, and he still got to her." He went on, Matt shaking his head as a lone tear escaped down his cheek, Nancy's own resolve weakening as she watched him. "He got to her, and he'll keep getting to her. Because I can't protect her."
He barely got the last few words out as a sob got caught in his throat, Matt unable to control his emotions any longer as the weight of everything felt like it was crushing him, another rough sob escaping the back of his throat as he broke down. His head collapsed down into his hands, words she couldn't make out escaping through his cries as Nancy's chest tightened.
She didn't know what to say or do to make this any better, because she knew she couldn't. No matter how much she wished she could, there was nothing for her to do here, except be here for her son, and for Gabby, as the only thing that could fix this was for whoever was hurting Gabby to be locked away for good. But sitting here with her son as he cried, seeing his body shaking as quiet sobs escaped his lips, Nancy would do just about anything to fix this, as she hadn't seen Matt like this in a long time.
In fact, she might've not seen him like this ever.
And it was one of the worst feelings in the world.
"Matthew," She started quietly, rubbing his arm as she scooted her chair closer, the action only causing his cries to worsen as he finally let go of everything he'd been holding onto for since this all started, Nancy fighting off her own tears as she gently guided him closer to her. "Shh, shh, it's okay… It'll all be okay." She murmured as he tucked his head down, Nancy holding onto him as tightly as she could despite the angle they were sitting at, the mother wanting to do whatever she could to comfort him.
"Everything will be alright, honey… I promise."
Nancy continued whispering soothing words to her son, Matt eventually beginning to calm down as he let go of all he'd been holding onto, the weight slowly feeling as it was lifting off his chest, though not entirely.
"Matt?"
Casey's head shot up when he heard the sound of Gabby's voice, all thoughts of himself going out the window as he registered her calling out for him, worry beginning to flood his entire body as he was mentally kicking himself for letting her wake up alone. With no hesitation, Matt quickly got up from the table, Nancy moving back out of the way as he did so, her own concern never leaving as she watched him.
"Matthew, sweetheart-"
But her words fell on deaf ears as he hurried out of the kitchen, Matt wanting to get to Gabby as quickly as he could.
Gabby's eyebrows furrowed as an involuntary shiver coursed through her body, the woman pulling the covers tighter to her body as she slowly came from the haze her mind was in. She wasn't sure what woke her up, aside from the lack of warmth next to her, as she had been sleeping surprisingly well given the circumstances. But as her eyes gradually opened, and she noticed she was in bed alone, she knew she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep right now.
When it fully hit her that she was by herself, she sat up quickly, the realization spreading through her system all at once as she began looking around the room. From first glance alone, she didn't see him anywhere, the lack of light in the room telling her he likely wasn't in the bathroom, or anywhere close by. And she wasn't sure why, given that it was the middle of the night.
"Matt?" She called out softly, her hands coming to rest over her shins as she waited for some type of response. But she never got one, Gabby not entirely sure where her boyfriend was right now. And with everything going on, that thought wasn't necessarily a comforting one.
Rubbing her hands over her sheet-covered legs, she did all she could to keep her nerves at bay, Gabby silently debating whether or not to go searching for him. Nancy's place wasn't huge, there were only so many places he could be, especially when his mom should be sleeping, but him not being in bed with her in the middle of the night left a weird feeling in her gut.
One she didn't want to ignore.
"Matt?" She called louder, Gabby hoping her voice would travel to wherever he was, while also remaining quiet enough to not disturb Nancy. Though with each passing second, she was beginning to understand that she was likely awake already, if the cold bed sheets beside her were any indication of how long Matt had been gone.
She waited another moment, Dawson debating on whether or not to go look for him as she'd still gotten no response from him, her mind soon made up as she began to move the covers off her body. But just as she was about to get up, the door opened, Gabby stopping her movements immediately as Matt came into view. Her body relaxed instantly once she laid her eyes on him, but she could tell the sight of her didn't have the same effect on him as he quickly came inside.
"Hey, what's wrong? You okay?" He asked before she could get a word in, his voice almost frantic as he shut the door behind him, Matt walking around towards her side of the bed as quickly as he could.
"I'm okay." She murmured as he came to a stop in front of her, his eyes moving over her body, like he was visually checking to make sure she was alright.
But as he did that, she was able to get her first real look at him, the sight in front of her causing her stomach to sink.
His eyes were red and swollen, Gabby instantly able to tell that he'd been crying, a lot. And recently.
And it broke her heart. Because she knew she was the reason for it.
"Did something happen?" He asked again, Matt quickly bringing a hand up to wipe his eyes as he was completely focused on her, Gabby feeling even more guilt flood through her body as a deep frown began to set in over her face.
"No, I'm alright." She practically whispered in response, her voice betraying her as the two locked eyes once more. "I just woke up and you weren't here, I wasn't sure where you went."
He gave her a nod before he sat down on the edge of the bed, his torso resting up against her legs. "Sorry." He replied, Gabby shaking her head slightly. "I got up to get some water… I didn't mean to worry you."
"It's okay, I'm fine." She reassured him, before a heavy silence fell over them.
They both sat there for a few long seconds, Matt doing his best to mask his emotions as he focused on her, his hand reaching out towards her leg before giving her body a gentle squeeze. But to Gabby, it felt like he was trying to comfort himself just as much as he was her.
"...You've been crying." She eventually spoke up, Matt looking up from the bed to meet her gaze once more, before he released a deep breath, the man knowing there was no use in lying to her.
"Yeah." He responded quietly, a soft sigh escaping her lips before she began to scoot over. He watched her as she moved, Gabby lifting up the covers to invite him back to bed, Matt understanding her silent request instantly before he moved to lie down beside her. Neither of them said a word as they got situated on Gabby's side of the bed, Matt's head barely hitting the pillow before she wrapped her arms around him, Gabby clinging onto him as tightly as she could while her head tucked into his neck. Adjusting the comforter back over them, Matt let his eyes fall closed as the warmth her body provided helped him feel at ease, the two as close as humanly possible as he felt her gentle breaths hit his skin.
She could feel him relaxing every few moments, his body not nearly as tense as it was when he first laid down, as Gabby listened to his steady heartbeat. His hand had slid up underneath the shirt on her body to rest over her side, like he needed to feel her, his other arm wrapped around her as Gabby rubbed her hand over his waist.
"I'm sorry." He murmured after a couple minutes, confusion covering her face as she heard him clear his throat. "...I'm sorry I wasn't there." He repeated himself, Gabby immediately shaking her head, or as much as she could with her body tucked into his, the woman tightening her grip on him.
"This isn't your fault." She replied, her voice as strong as she could make it as she was seeing first hand just how much guilt he was holding onto. And she hated it. "Nothing that happened was your fault."
"I just want you to be okay." He continued quietly, the honesty in his voice causing tears to prick the edges of her eyes, but she refused for them to fall.
She wished she could tell him everything was fine, that it was okay. That she wasn't terrified out of her mind right now. But she couldn't, because they both knew it would be a lie. She couldn't tell him what he needed to hear, because it wouldn't be the truth. But understanding the logic behind it didn't make it any easier to accept.
"I will be." She settled on, Matt drawing in a deep breath as his arms instinctively tightened around her, Gabby pressing a soft kiss against his neck before rolling closer towards him, her body practically on top of his now as she knew how badly they both needed this moment.
"I love you." She whispered into the air, Matt kissing the top of her head as he gripped her waist, the darkness around them oddly comforting as he lifted one hand up to cradle the back of her head, both of them silently hoping they'd be able to get more sleep soon as they desperately needed it.
There was more they needed to talk about, more they needed to get out in the open, but for now, what they needed was rest, as the couple did all they could to give into their exhaustion.
"I love you, too… More than anything."
Casey stretched his arms above his head as he stood in front of the mirror in his mother's room, the man faintly able to hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom as he took a moment to look himself over. And, to put it nicely, he looked like hell.
But that's what going days without sleep would do to a person, and right now Matt was a shining example of that.
It had been a few days since Bryan showed up at the bar, and to say this had been difficult would be an understatement. One that didn't even begin to cover how things were going for the couple as they spent every moment inside this apartment, as this entire situation continued to wear them down. Between the sleepless nights, and the days where it felt like they were just waiting for the phone to ring, almost like they were waiting for something bad to happen, the stress of all of it had definitely taken its toll. And Gabby and Matt both were feeling the effects of it.
And the fact that they hadn't been able to leave this apartment hadn't made things much easier either, as they were cooped up in a home that wasn't their own. Aside from Matt taking one quick trip back to their apartment for more of their belongings, neither of them had gone anywhere, and while they were grateful to his mother for letting them essentially take over her place, it was becoming quite cramped. Especially when Gabby was doing her best to avoid any one on one time with Nancy, ever since Matt told her of the conversation he'd had with his mother their first night here.
Though unintentional, Matt knew he'd said a little too much when he'd broken down the other night, the man having recanted the story to Gabby when they'd woken up that next morning. And while she wasn't mad at him for telling his mom what was happening, Gabby more worried about him than anything else, it had made things a little awkward, at least on Gabby's end. His mom was trying, they both knew it, as Nancy was making sure to give them as much space as possible. She hadn't talked to either of them about what happened, but Gabby was still embarrassed. She was embarrassed to be around his mom, now that she had a better understanding of what Gabby had gone through, and Matt absolutely hated that she felt that way. Because she didn't need to.
But it wasn't Matt's place to tell Gabby how to feel in this situation, and he and his mom both understood she needed a little more time to be comfortable with this. So neither of them pushed her, Nancy especially doing all she could to make Gabby feel as at home as possible, while also keeping her distance when she could.
And that was just one the many struggles they were having with this entire thing, as every day seemed to be harder than the last. Because it was draining, as this had left them both physically and mentally exhausted. But despite all that, despite how difficult this was, the one thing that hadn't changed was that the two of them were working their way through it together, and that was the best they could do right now.
Releasing a heavy sigh, Matt shook his head slightly before he looked away from his reflection, the dark circles underneath his eyes only reminding him of the situation they were in as he slid his shirt over his head before letting it fall down against his body. Now that he was dressed, he spared a quick glance towards the clock, seeing it was nearing ten in the morning, meaning it was almost time for Antonio to get here. And considering he could still clearly hear the water running, Matt decided it best to go check on his girlfriend, and just make sure she remembered what they were doing this morning as he walked the short path across the room towards the bathroom.
The door was mostly open, Gabby having no need to shut it as Matt stepped into the bathroom. The room was filled with steam, Gabby clearly making the most out of all the hot water this morning as he continued inside, Matt instantly seeing his girlfriend exactly where he expected her to be as he could make out her figure through the glass shower door. But the closer he got, he noticed her hand hanging towards the ground, Gabby's hands resting against the shower wall to steady herself as water fell continuously down over the back of her head. Unsure of exactly what she was doing, Matt waited for a moment, his eyes staying focused on her as he saw her shoulders rising and falling lightly with each breath.
He'd seen her like a few times over the past few days, Gabby apparently zoning out from reality in random moments more often than not, as she'd get caught up in whatever was going on in her head. And it was just one of the many aspects to all of this that he wasn't sure how to react to, as Gabby had been a lot more composed about all this than he anticipated. This wasn't easy, of course it wasn't, but she hadn't had the breakdown that he'd been expecting since Bryan first showed up, like the one he had with his mom; as far as he knew, that hadn't happened. He wasn't sure if she was just trying to protect herself, or if she really was just able to compartmentalize that much, but whatever the reason, she hadn't reacted the way he thought. And truthfully, it was concerning him just a little bit.
But he was trying not to focus on it, Matt knowing all he could do was help her through whatever emotions she was feeling, the couple having talked through a lot of how this was affecting them over the last few days. Whether it was how she was doing, how he was doing, or just about Bryan in general, they both made an effort to be there when the other person needed to talk, and he knew that was all he could do now as well.
And if the time came where all of this became too much for her, he knew he'd be there for her, too. Just like he'd been doing this entire time, Matt's eyes never leaving her body as she continued to let the hot water fall down on top of her.
He didn't want to interrupt her, or startle her, but after he'd been standing here for nearly a minute and she had yet to move, he at least wanted to know if she was alright.
Taking another step forward, he cleared his throat before speaking up, Matt gently calling her name at a tone that hopefully wouldn't scare her.
"Gabby?" He spoke, waiting a few seconds to see if she'd respond, but she clearly didn't hear him, Matt taking another step forward. "Babe?"
Her head lifted up when she registered his voice, Gabby moving herself out from underneath the water before looking at him through the glass door, Matt not missing the slight confusion written across her face.
"Antonio's gonna be here soon… You alright?" He questioned, seeing the realization that covered her face before she nodded.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good… Just lost track of time." She replied, forcing a weak smile as Matt's eyes never left her tired ones. "I'll be out in a second."
"Okay… Take your time. I can entertain your brother for a bit if I need to." He responded lightly, Gabby once again giving him that small smile before she nodded.
"Thank you." She replied, Matt shooting her as warm a smile as he could before he left the room so she could get back to her shower.
While Gabby finished up, Matt ventured out into the empty apartment, the silence helped by the fact that Nancy had left for work a few hours ago, the man huffing out a breath before looking around the empty room. It was relatively clean, but that didn't stop him from picking up a few things while he waited for Antonio, his nervous energy manifesting into the desire for everything to be clean around him.
Just as he finished up, he heard soft footsteps behind him, Matt placing the folded blanket over the back of the chair before turning around to see Gabby walk into the room. Her hair was pulled back, Gabby wearing her usual attire of sweatpants and one of his t-shirts, as they knew that, yet again, they wouldn't be going anywhere today.
"Hey." She murmured, Matt smiling gently as he began to walk towards her. "My brother not here yet?"
"No, not yet. Though I figure he'll be here soon." He said, both of them hearing a knock on the door just as the words left his lips. "I bet that's him… I'll get it." He added, Gabby nodding before Matt took off in that direction, while she went and made herself comfortable on the couch.
As quickly as Matt disappeared, he then reappeared within seconds, Antonio following close behind him as the two men came into the room. Her older brother offered her a soft smile, Gabby reciprocating the gesture as Matt came to sit down beside her, Antonio deciding on staying back by the chair across from them.
"So… are there any updates?" Gabby asked as she brought her legs up onto the couch, Matt reaching out to place his hand over her thigh as they both looked to Antonio, none of them interested in any small talk at the moment.
"Nothing's changed since I called yesterday." He replied, Gabby's face remaining blank as Casey's eyes narrowed a little. "We're still out looking for him, we've still got uniforms on his place, at his parents place, at his work… Anywhere he might go, we've checked out. His mom and dad say they haven't seen him-"
"Well, I wouldn't put it past them to lie for him." Gabby murmured, Matt giving her leg a squeeze as Antonio nodded.
"Which is why we're keeping cops there… We've had surveillance everywhere he might've gone since he showed up at Molly's, but so far he hasn't gone back to any of those places. He never even went back to get his phone or anything from his apartment… He's still in the wind." He told them, Matt chewing on the inside of his lip to keep himself from saying anything he shouldn't.
Though they'd smoothed things over, Matt still wasn't Antonio's biggest fan at the moment, as the firefighter knew this would have all been avoided had it been handled better. So while he wasn't trying to start anything between them, he wasn't acting like everything was okay, either, as both Gabby and Antonio knew his feelings towards the detective.
"We're still canvassing, searching the surrounding areas… We've got a warrant out for his arrest, for violating his restraining order, so his face is plastered everywhere. But so far, we've come up empty. But we've got a ton of people on this." He assured her, just as he had every time they'd spoken over the last four days.
"So he basically just disappeared?" Matt spoke, his voice a little rougher than intended. But Antonio didn't react to it, the older man simply looking towards him. "You don't know if he's even still in Chicago?"
"We have no idea where he is… But, like I said, we're doing all we can to find him." He assured them, his eyes moving back towards his sister. "I promise you that." He added, Gabby giving him a slow nod in response. "But right now, we're still in the same place we were before, we haven't gotten any solid leads yet, so this whole thing… We still need to be careful."
"Meaning we need to stay here." Gabby filled in the gaps, Antonio pursing his lips together before he nodded, the man knowing his sister had been asking this same question every day.
"I think that's for the best." He replied, Gabby beginning to gnaw on her bottom lip. "As long as Nancy's alright with it."
"She is." Matt answered without any hesitation, Antonio nodding in response. "She told us we can stay as long as we need to, that's not an issue."
"Good." He replied, before looking back towards Gabby, the older brother not missing the look of uncertainty over her face. "I know you want to go home, but I still think it's better if you don't. I don't want to take any chances here, not with you and your safety." He continued on, Casey having to hold back once more as he made himself focus on Gabby. "So I think the best thing you can do is keep laying low… Maybe take a few more shifts off-"
"I'm not hiding out forever, Antonio." Gabby cut in, Matt signing softly as the siblings looked at one another. "If you want us to stay here with Nancy, I understand. As long as she doesn't mind us being here, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna stop my life completely because of him, I refuse to do that again." She continued on strongly, her eyes trained on her brother.
"Gabby-"
"We already missed last shift, I'm not missing anymore." She cut him off, her words leaving no room for argument. "I know you want what's best for me, but what's best for me is for me to be able to live my life, for things to be normal. Which I know you both know." She added, Antonio clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he was beginning to realize his sister wasn't going to back down from this. "So you do whatever you have to, however many cops you want at the firehouse when I'm there… I'm going to shift tomorrow."
The air around them was heavy, Matt sensing that Antonio wanted to push back on what she was saying. And truthfully, Matt understood it, as he too didn't feel great about them going to work. And he'd rather they didn't, if he were being completely honest, but right now in this moment was the most self-assured Matt had seen Gabby since this all happened, and if going back to work was what she needed to do for herself, he wouldn't want to keep her from that.
As long as Antonio could promise them she'd be safe.
"Is that something that's possible?" Matt asked, his voice breaking the silence as both Dawsons looked towards him. "Us being at the firehouse, her working… Would you be able to keep her safe?" He asked, Antonio drawing in a deep breath before responding.
"As safe as she could be, with still being somewhere he knows, yeah." He answered, his words not necessarily filling Casey with much assurance. "We'd keep multiple units on the house, basically people on every entrance… and have at least two patrolman go on every call with her. And probably a few that stayed inside, as well." He breathed out, Matt's eyebrows raising slightly.
"Sounds like you've thought about this."
"Yeah, well I know my sister." He replied, before both men looked back towards Gabby.
"So I can do it?" She asked, Antonio running his teeth over his bottom lip before shrugging.
"If you want to work, I know I can't stop you… But I can sure as hell make sure you're as safe as possible." He answered, Gabby pausing for a moment before she nodded.
And just as she was about to respond, she felt Matt squeeze her leg, Gabby glancing towards her boyfriend only to immediately see the worry shining in his eyes. "...Baby, are you sure you want to do this?" He questioned, but his words weren't accusatory. He wasn't second guessing her, he just needed to know this is what she wanted, Gabby giving him a nod as she reached down to place her hand on top of his.
"I am." She replied, Matt drawing in a deep breath before he nodded.
"Alright… Then we'll go." He told her, Gabby smiling softly before she gave his hand a squeeze, Matt not missing how this was the first genuine smile he'd see from her in days. How this was the first time her smile had reached her eyes, and in this moment, he knew they were making the right choice.
But that didn't mean he wasn't extremely worried about her being back in that firehouse.
Casey put his truck in park as they sat in front of the firehouse, his head immediately turning to look at his girlfriend as she sat in the passenger seat, her own eyes focused on the snow-covered building in front of them as they watched a few of their friends head inside from a distance, Gabby keeping her hands clasped tightly together in her lap.
And it felt like Matt could sense her anxiousness from here.
He noticed it a little bit when they went to bed last night, and even more so when they woke up this morning, but Gabby was pushing through it. Even with his attempts to get her to stay home, Matt repeatedly telling her that they could try again in a few days if she wasn't up for this, she shot him down every time, Gabby wanting to come and work today. So eventually he left it alone, Matt knowing his constant questioning of her wouldn't help anything. And he also knew it was normal for her to be a little uneasy about going out for the first time, especially to a place they spent half of their lives.
But there was a big difference between being a little anxious, and not being able to handle being here, Matt knowing he would need to keep an eye on her throughout their shift, just to make sure her nerves didn't turn into anything more.
Drawing in a deep breath, Matt killed the engine before looking around, the Lieutenant already able to see a few of the patrolmen Antonio promised, as well as the ones who had come with them from Nancy's place. And he was sure there were more he couldn't see, as Antonio wasn't messing around when it came to his sister's safety, at least not anymore, the sight helping him feel a little more at ease before he reached over towards Gabby.
"You ready?" He asked, his words causing her to tear her eyes away from the firehouse as she met his gaze.
She paused for a split second, Matt picking up on the slightest bit of hesitation from her before she nodded, a small smile forming over her face. "Yeah, I'm ready." She told her, Matt sighing softly as her words didn't necessarily match her actions.
"Are you sure?" He questioned before he could stop himself, Matt needing to know before they went inside. He'd promised himself he wouldn't keep asking, but her hesitance just now made it impossible for him not to. "Because if you're not ready, we can go back to my mom's place right now."
"No, it's not that." She replied, his eyebrows raising slightly as he waited for her to elaborate. "I want to work, I just… We haven't talked to them, since Molly's, and I- I don't know, I'm not sure how they'll act around me." She breathed out, a look of understanding soon covering his face.
Truthfully, that hadn't really occurred to him, how the house would react to all this, as neither Matt nor Gabby had reached out to either of them. With everything they were dealing with, it wasn't something very high on their list of priorities, though Matt knew Shay and Severide had been keeping in close contact with Antonio. But aside from a quick call to Boden to let him know they'd be working today, and Matt sending a few texts to Shay last night about the same thing, they hadn't spoken to them. So Matt couldn't blame her for not knowing what to expect when they walked into that firehouse.
But, knowing them, he hoped there wouldn't be an issue. Especially considering how badly Gabby needed this.
"Yeah, I know we haven't really talked to them, but I'm sure it'll be fine." He assured her with a gentle smile, Gabby matching his look. "I'm sure they're worried, and want to know how you are… But once that initial concern passes, everything will be like normal." Matt spoke, his words calming her nerves slightly before she nodded.
"Yeah, you're right." She murmured, Matt's grin growing before he gave her arm a slight squeeze.
"Might have to document this moment." He played along, Gabby releasing a soft chuckle before Matt leaned over to kiss her quickly, yet gently, the action relaxing them both as she smiled into him. "You ready?" He questioned once they pulled back, Gabby nodding before they climbed down from the truck, both of them trying to squash some of the uneasiness they felt at being so out in the open as they began walking towards the firehouse.
And as soon as they walked up the driveway, it was easy to tell just how different things were around here as they quickly noticed a few more cops that they hadn't seen before, a couple coming into view when they got closer to the garage as they were speaking with Boden. By the looks of it, it wasn't a very tense conversation, their words soon ending once Matt and Gabby got close enough.
"Dawson, Casey… It's good to see you all." Boden greeted as the patrolmen took a few steps away, knowing their job was merely to observe and look out for any potential dangers.
"You too, Chief." Matt responded as he held onto Gabby's hand. "We're glad to be back."
Boden nodded in agreement before his eyes moved to Gabby, the man opening his mouth like there was more he wanted to say. But, whatever was on the tip of his tongue, he kept it there, the older firefighter closing his mouth once more before taking a step to the side. "Let's get inside, yeah? It's pretty cold out here." He settled on instead, Matt silently thanking the man as he and Gabby nodded, the couple walking in first as Boden followed closely behind them.
The garage was completely empty, aside from the few cops, as no one wanted to sit out here in this cold. But the second they walked in, they soon found everyone, as the entirety of second shift was sitting in the common room.
Shay was the first one to see them, Gabby and Matt slowly approaching the room as she was sitting at the smaller table with Severide, her face lighting up slightly as she stood up from her seat.
"Dawson." She spoke lightly, her words gaining the attention of the rest of the room as suddenly all eyes were on them. And it was clear no one knew how to act, as a few of them sat up straighter in their seats, while Herrmann and Kelly stood up, Shay being the only one to make a move as she came and gave Gabby a hug.
There was a thick silence in the air, the TV being the only other sound in the room as everyone watched Shay and Dawson, no one entirely sure of what to say to the woman who was going through so much.
"We're glad you're back." Shay spoke up first, the blonde giving her a tight squeeze before pulling back, Gabby smiling softly before she nodded.
"I'm glad to be here." She replied, her words making everyone a little more at ease as Herrmann took a slight step forward.
"How you doing, kid?" He asked her as he shoved his hands in his pockets, Gabby looking towards him as she kept that same smile plastered over her face.
"I'm alright." She replied, Herrmann raising his eyebrows slightly as Gabby saw a few more looks of uncertainty covering the other first responders' faces. "Really, guys I'm fine." She repeated, knowing she'd just have to rip the bandaid off, or they might never know how to act around her. "You all don't need to be weird around me, or anything like that, I'm fine." She continued, her words earning a few nods from them.
"We're just worried about you, Dawson." Herrmann said, her face softening slightly.
"I know you are, that you all are, and I appreciate it. I do." She told them, swallowing the lump in her throat before she continued on. "And I'm sure you all have questions about what's going on… I know I would."
"Gabby, you don't have to get into any of it." Severide tried, Matt's eyes narrowing slightly at the sound of his friend's voice, his anger towards him clearly not having gone away as much as he'd hoped. "We're just glad you're alright."
"I appreciate that, and I know I don't," She responded as Shay reached out to rub her back. "But I know you all are still curious, and that's fine. But, uh- they haven't found Bryan yet." She told them, Gabby unable to stop the wince that covered her face as she said his name. "Antonio's on it, he's doing all he can, and I'm sure you all noticed all the cops and everyone here… They're just here to keep everyone safe, until they find him." She continued to explain, Matt feeling her step into his side slightly as she spoke. "I know it's a little… intense. But it's what Antonio thinks is necessary, and Matt and I agree with him. So they'll be here for a bit…"
"That's fine, Dawson." Boden spoke up, Gabby glancing towards him as he stood on the other side of Shay, the PIC nodding with a small smile.
"But, uh… yeah. That's pretty much all I have to say. But I'm doing alright, and I wanted to come back here and work, and see you all and everything." She said, her words earning a few small smiles from her friends as Shay continued rubbing her back. "I want to be here, so if you all could not walk on eggshells around me, that would really help me out." She spoke directly, Gabby knowing that if she put this off, things would only continue to be weird here. And she didn't want that. "I'm fine… All this, it's a lot, but I'm alright. And I want to be here working, so if we could just… try and have things be as normal as possible, I'd appreciate it."
"Of course." Boden replied instantly, his words causing everyone else to agree.
"Yeah, of course. Whatever you need, kid." Herrmann responded with a gentle smile, before he came and wrapped her up in a tight hug. "We're just glad you're here."
"Me too." She replied, before more people came up to greet her, everyone doing all they could to treat her how they usually would. And it didn't take long, as Cruz began to fill her in on a crazy call they'd experienced last shift.
With Gabby preoccupied, Matt carefully grabbed her shift bag from her hand, the woman glancing back towards him just as he nodded off down the hallway, silently telling her he was going to go put their things away. Understanding his silent gesture, she gave him a nod before returning her attention back to Cruz as a group formed around her.
And the longer they spoke, the more relaxed Gabby seemed to become, this time with their friends already helping ease her worries as Matt waited a second longer just to look at her, as her soft smile was a sight he'd never get tired of.
After a few lingering seconds, he continued on down the hallway, the boyfriend knowing Gabby was in good hands for as long as it would take him to put their things away. But he barely got halfway down the hallway when he heard his name being called, his back involuntarily tightening at the sound.
"Casey, wait up man." Severide spoke, Matt halting his steps as he heard Kelly's boots jogging towards him, the truck Lieutenant turning around just as his friend got there. "I didn't know you were coming back to work today… I texted a few times, but never heard anything back."
"We've been a little busy… I wasn't on my phone much." He responded, Severide not missing the rough tone to his voice as he gave him a nod.
"Yeah, I get that, I was just worried… Wanted to make sure you two were doing alright." He replied, it becoming more and more clear to him that Casey still had not yet let go of the anger he was feeling towards him. "Which, uh… Is she?" He asked, Matt's eyebrows raising slightly. "Is Gabby really okay? Cause sometimes it's hard to tell with her… She likes to put on a brave face, you know." He finished, Casey pursing his lips together before nodding.
"We're handling it." He answered shortly, Severide drawing in a deep breath before he nodded, this conversation not going nearly as smoothly as he wanted. Though with Matt's radio silence over the last five days, he wasn't entirely surprised.
"Alright, well if either of you need anything-"
"We don't." Matt cut him off, Severide crossing his arms over his chest. "Not from you."
Kelly released a heavy sigh, the man shaking his head slightly as Matt took a step back. "Casey…"
"Just leave us alone, Severide." Matt responded harshly as he took another step back. "That's the best thing you can do for us right now."
And without another word, he was gone, Matt leaving a frustrated and somewhat hurt Severide alone in the hallway as the squad Lieutenant was continuing to understand just how angry Matt was at him for all of this.
And as he stood here, he couldn't help but wonder if Dawson felt the same way.
