78. Adjustment Period
Date Written: July 14, 2019
Date Posted: November 25, 2020
Characters: Veneziano, Romano
Summary: Veneziano deals with the guilt and the aftermath of the Risorgimento period.
Notes: Based off the manga panels where Giuseppe Garibaldi forcefully unites Veneziano and Romano to form one Italy.
It felt hollow.
It felt hollow to finally become one half of the representative for the grand Nation of Italy. When Veneziano had finally joined the kingdom, he didn't expect to usurp all of his siblings' identities and became an amalgamation of all their personalities and vested interests.
He was no longer just Venezia or the Kingdom of Lombardy-Veneto.
No, he was something more, something greater:
North Italy.
He had been the lost, the one who had been taken away by invaders and expected to serve only their interests.
He had been the wayward, prodigal son who had been continuously taken in by foreign powers.
It was hollow to even think himself Italian.
Why couldn't the position go to innovative, belligerent Firenze? What about the trusted Turino? Milano? Pisa?
Why were two halves needed to make the whole?
Italia Romano, that brother of his to the south, was the one who had the most claim on Rome's inheritance. What was Veneziano in the grand scheme of things? In fact, why couldn't Romano rule by himself? Veneziano would have been just fine being part of the north instead of representing the North.
With all the qualifications that Romano met, shouldn't he have been the one to look after their boss, to rule this lovely Nation himself?
Venezi—North Italy just couldn't stand it.
He just felt… hollow.
It shouldn't have been him.
Sometimes, as he and his older brother would share a meal, Veneziano would find his eyes wandering around, unable to meet his brother's eyes. Despite the attempts to make their house homey and lived in, as if they were actual brothers instead of two strangers who had been forced to live together due to circumstances out of their control, there was no use denying the truth.
The house he and Romano shared was too big. The air was too still; the furniture too stiff, unused. Meals were near silent, conversation stilted. Even if there were times when Veneziano felt like their relationship had taken a step forward, every so often, it would feel like they had taken several steps back.
A heavy, comforting hand on the shoulder. "You should be taking care of your paperwork."
His brother's voice was low and stern—a welcome change from the yelling and cursing. Veneziano knew that he meant well, but sometimes, it felt forced and unwelcome.
"I know. I needed… no… wanted some time to relax." The paintbrush that he had been using drifted erratically across the darkened canvas. "Is that—" Oh, he really didn't like how his voice cracked! "—too much to ask?"
And maybe Veneziano didn't know his brother too well, or perhaps he never knew Romano could be capable of such kindness, but Romano surprised him. Instead of lashing out, the elder brother merely grabbed the paintbrush from his northern sibling.
"Veneziano—" His voice was low, deep. Filled with a kindness and concern that almost made Veneziano weep with how much he needed that reassurance that Romano must have thought that he was his brother. "—you should rest."
"And if I need to work?"
"You were hardly working in the first place."
Veneziano laughed a bitter, hollow laugh.
It would take some adjustment to get him used to himself again.
"Fine." Veneziano pushed himself away from his chair and slowly packed his paints.
As he did so, at the corner of his eyes, he saw that Romano was glancing at his paintings with curiosity and expectation in his eyes. One of his fingers, rough and calloused from working in the sun all day reached out to brush the sides of the canvas that had either dried or had no paint on it. Although Veneziano was always protective of his work before he released it to the world, Veneziano couldn't find it within himself to say anything.
The way that Romano was touching his painting… It seemed so reverent, so respectful of what he was trying to recreate through his artwork. Instead of Romano's usual indifference towards having his younger brother take part in what was supposed to be his inheritance, he seemed almost interested in what Veneziano was doing.
Maybe if he had the time later, he could always help Romano garden… if Romano were to allow him to do so.
After all, there was still some time for adjustment for the both of them.
