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NESSIE'S POV

When I arrive back at the mansion I call home with my parents, daughter, Emmett and Rose, I am alone. My family was travelling when I sent out the abandon ship text message.

I grab a glass from the kitchen, fill it up with water and chug down the whole thing. Once I am sufficiently hydrated, I take a bottle of bourbon from the liquor cabinet and go to my room to sort through what I will take with me to our new life. I spin the bottle in my hand as I climb the stairs but once I make it to my bedroom I set it down on the dresser. The desire to drown my sorrows has left me.

I open my closet and scan over my wardrobe. I feel a pang of guilt. This is all too familiar. It reminds me of when I decided to run away from my family, including Jacob, years ago. I wanted so badly to be normal. Though, when Jacob found me I swore I could never leave again. Being away from him would be too painful. Yet, here I am… We've been apart 16 years deep and I am ready to disappear once more.

Even though sleeping with Jacob was a mistake I don't regret it. It'll be all I have to hang on to for the rest of my life without him. I close my eyes and swim in the memory of our night together, becoming intoxicated with every detail that flashes through my mind. The sensation of Jacob's lips on my neck and how his hands felt on my body as we made love in his bed.

"Woah…," a familiar voice interrupts my thoughts… great. I quickly shut down my thoughts of Jacob.

"I don't want to talk about it," I reply, seeing my father standing in the doorway to my bedroom.

"Did… um… did that really happen or is this just some.. Uh… fantasy?" Edward asks me. His voice sounds thick with discomfort. Having a father with an all-access pass to your mind is about as mortifying as it sounds. He doesn't get to always choose whose mind he stumbles upon. It wouldn't be the first time my thoughts have wandered to some fantasy of Jacob only to be interrupted by my father's unnecessary throat clearing. Even after all these years, getting Jacob off my mind has proven an impossible task.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay!" I reply louder. Tears flood my eyes.

"I'm sorry," Edward says softly and looks out into the hallway, he closes my bedroom door behind him to give us privacy. I roll my eyes… I guess we're talking about this. I start to toss clothing from my closet onto the bed, "Nessie, stop," Edward takes me the wrists, "stop."

"What!?" I huff.

"Is this what we're running from? You're hurt over Jacob?" He asks. I don't reply. It is true, "Oh, Nessie," he shakes his head.

"Look, I'm sorry," I pull my hands free from him, "things with Jake and I are messy. I can't do it anymore… I tried. The only thing I can do is go… You don't have to come with me, okay… I'll just leave."

I see my father's eyes change from an expression of exhaustion to compassion, "running away from your problems is not the answer. Believe me. I've been there… I tried."

"This isn't like you and mom," I reply, exasperated, "Jacob and I have been over for years. I've been an idiot, holding out hope. As if he'd change his mind," I got back to throwing clothing onto my bed, "it's pathetic. I'm pathetic."

"You're not pathetic," Edward reassures me, "we all thought you two would work it out." He is quiet for a moment watching me stuff various articles of clothing into my luggage, "and what of Foxworth?"

"What of him?" I sigh.

"You have some kind of… relationship with him," he says. I look over to my father just in time to see him grit his teeth.

"Dad… come on… it's just sex," I reply. He has to know that. He can read my fucking mind, after all. "Fox sticks around mainly for Emma. The only time there is an 'us' is when we're bored," I admit.

"You have a child together and …. Fine, fair enough. That relationship does appear to be heavily weighted upon …" he clears his throat, "... sex," he said nearly choking on his words. "But are you sure that you have given it a…" Edward's face contorts, "a real chance?"

I laugh, "Dad, you are desperate. You're really giving Fox your blessing?"

"More or less," he sighs, "Nessie, I spent a significant amount of time wishing away your relationship with Jacob… Honestly, I didn't really want you to be with anyone… You grew up so damn fast... I wasn't ready for it all…"

"But now you're ready and you think I should hook up with Fox? Foxworth? We're talking about the same person, right?" I stop packing. He's so desperate. Why?

"I want you to be happy. I'm afraid for you, Nessie. I'm afraid that you will run and realize that it doesn't fix your broken heart. That there will always be pieces missing and you will give up," he admits.

Give up… Does he think I'm going to kill myself?

"Dad… this isn't like you and mom," I reply again. Though the similarities are uncanny. "I'll let Fox know he has the greenlight… as if he cares," I mumble.

"Jacob may never come around, Nessie. But Fox-" Edward stops abruptly. His eyes narrow on me. I had somehow let the memory of Jacob begging me on the side of the road to come back to him permeate my mental wall, "wh- what… but then… but then why?" he asks.

"Oh, I dunno," I shrug and start going through drawers, "perhaps because I have some faded glimmer of self-respect… Can you just for once trust me? Trust that what I am doing with my fucked up life is what is right for me? Can you for once just do that?"

"You're so goddamn stubborn," Edward mumbles.

My head turns to see my bedroom door creak open. Bella pokes her head in, "um… sorry to interrupt but… Carlisle is on the phone… it's for you, Nessie"

Carlisle? What does he want?

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