Chapter 173
Laetitia was in the Command Center, studying the latest data they had on the Empire.
Her interest in Darth Sidious and Arcann only increased after what happened to Thexan. But Darth Vader ... She had no idea how to feel about that. She felt her father's pain in the Force after Thexan died ...
For once, after 7 years, she actually thought that he was capable of caring about someone. She wished she could say that it was just acting, but what she felt in the Force was completely honest and genuine ... But it didn't make any sense. Sith Lords were incapable of caring for anyone but themselves.
Which was why it complicated things a lot.
While Leah was busying herself with work, Ahsoka and Luke were only pretending to look busy. They were actually talking about her ... Maybe Leah figured that out. But she didn't show it because she didn't care. That was the problem.
"So? How did your 'talk' go?" Luke asked.
Ahsoka sneakily turned away and glanced at Leah, who wasn't even aware they were in the same room. She sighed as she turned back.
"It was ... intense." She simply put it.
"But what did you think? How did it end?" He pushed.
"What do you want me to say, Luke? She's hurting. She lost her husband, the love of her life, before she could even call him that. No one would be okay after that, especially Leah of all people." Ahsoka half-snapped at him.
Luke didn't say anything and just exhaled deeply. He knew that ... But he also couldn't not do anything. Even Ahsoka was angry at the situation. She didn't mean to snap at him.
"She's ... struggling. Master Jinn is right. We shouldn't push her. Otherwise, she would be lost forever."
"Okay." He said, not being convinced.
He wanted to do something. Ahsoka had seen that look a lot in his father and sister. The feeling of doing anything. He was showing a lot of similarities with his family. He had never been more his father's son.
"Luke ... she'll be okay. She might need a minute to back away and get herself together, but ... she'll come back. She always has. You don't know the things she's gone through in her life. Believe it or not, she's been through worse ... And that is not a good thing." She sighed sadly.
Luke just shook his head in understanding and agreement. Ahsoka did know more about Leah better than anyone. Those two had been friends for 20 years, since Leah was one. If she knew Leah would be okay, then maybe she knew something.
Suddenly, everyone dropped what they were holding. Luke and Ahsoka turned around and saw Leah ... But she wasn't standing. The last thing Leah could hear was the shouts of her name before everything went black.
Luke, Ahsoka, Rex and Han were surrounding Laetitia, who was sitting on a bed in the Med Bay. She refused to lie down and just wanted to leave as soon as possible. She didn't even understand why everyone forced her to check herself in. She just ... lost her balance for a second.
"Would you believe me if I told you I'm fine?" She asked.
"Nope." Han quickly answered.
"But I swear I am. I was just feeling a bit dizzy."
"Enough to make you pass out?" Ahsoka pointed out.
"I lost my balance for only a second. You're making too big of a deal out of this." Leah said in irritation.
"Someone has to." Han muttered.
"Why don't you guys just go back to work? I'll stay here with her till the doctor comes back." Luke said.
They just exchanged an uncomfortable look with each other. They knew he was basically kicking them out. That was his way of saying that he wanted to talk to his sister. They just nodded and left. The way he spoke ... They didn't want to be anywhere near him.
"I'm fine, Luke. I'll wait for the doctor myself. You don't need to be here with me." Leah said.
"Yes, I do. Leah, you collapsed in the middle of the room. You're not sleeping. You're not eating. You're not feeling. You're just ... here. But you're not." He sadly said for her.
"Are you finished? Have you done enough 'atoning' for what you did or didn't do?"
Leah shot him a glare in annoyance. Did he really choose to have this talk with her at this moment? When she was in the Med Bay?
"Are you serious right now?"
"What happened to Thexan was NOT your fault!" Luke suddenly shouted, having enough.
"You need to stop blaming yourself for it. I've already lost Thexan, who was like a brother and mentor to me ... I don't want to have to lose you, too."
Leah just sighed and looked down. When Luke lost it, it was a sign that he was under too much pressure. She would be lying if she said that didn't upset her. She didn't want to hurt her brother ... but she was hurting.
"I hear you." She quietly said.
"Good." He strongly said.
He turned around to leave, but he stopped half way. He didn't mean to snap at his sister. He may have been right, but ... he still had no right. Or at least, he felt like he didn't. She was sill his sister, and she just lost her husband.
"Look, don't bite my head off ..." He started and asked for her to stay quiet and just listen to him.
"But I need to say this, because ... you seem empty. You're evacuating every feeling you have from your body … And that's not you."
"I'm not supposed to be anything other than a Jedi or a soldier." Leah quietly defended herself.
"But you have a kind heart. It aches. It scars ... But keeps on beating. And if you try to cut it out, you will lose an important part of yourself."
"I tried to let myself feel everything, but in the process, I've broken myself in ways that might never heal. And I can't lead the Rebellion if I'm broken." She sighed as she closed her eyes to stop the tears.
Luke sighed and sat next to his sister. He put his hand around her shoulder and held her. This was better than her not feeling anything ... or was it?
"You are not broken. You are my sister … The strongest person I know. You've saved my life more than I can count. You taught me that my loss made me stronger." He comforted her.
"I know what you would do if I was the one being in pain. You'd tell me 'come on, Luke! You're a Skywalker. Man up and live up to the name'." He joked seriously.
Leah sighed as she was unable to smile. She rubbed her eyes, trying to pull herself together.
"I understand the past few weeks have been … painful. But it will pass. You may not have Thexan anymore, but he will always be in your heart … And as long as we remember him, as long as you love him, as long as the Rebels fight for what he did … he will always be alive." Luke strongly stated.
Leah knew he had a point. She may have not had Thexan physically in her life, but she still loved him and felt him by her side. The way he strongly believed in that made her believe in that, too.
"Laetitia?" He quietly broke the silence.
"Hmm?"
"You're a Skywalker. Man up and live up to the family name." He repeated himself with what she used to say.
This time, Leah managed to put a smile on her face. She was truly grateful to have him in her life. Thexan was gone, but ... Luke was still here. And he was the light of her life. She needed to remember that.
Laetitia was sitting in her room in the Millennium Falcon, or what used to be her room. It was the only place she had ever felt like home. And ... she needed to. She wanted to feel safe and like she was at home.
She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath to stop the tears from coming out. Now, it made sense why she had been feeling extra emotional for a while. Why she couldn't control her tears anymore.
She was ...
"What are you doing here?" A voice asked as it interrupted her thoughts.
She looked up and saw Han standing in front of her. She just looked at him, not changing her mood.
"Hiding out." She cried out quietly, not even trying to pretend she wasn't crying.
"Mind if I hide with you?" He asked softly.
"Suit yourself." She muttered.
He smiled as he sat right next to her. He opened his mouth to say something, but Leah beat him to it.
"I just had two long talks with Luke and Ahsoka. I am seriously NOT in the mood to go third round." She warned him.
"Okay." He simply replied.
But Leah knew better. She was the only person in the Galaxy that knew Han Solo better than anyone else. He was not one to back down easily, not when it came to his sister. She was definitely going to have the talk for the third time ... but she was actually looking forward to hearing from him.
"But I'm gonna say it anyway, because my speeches make the best sense compared to every other sane person. And I have working on this for 2 weeks." He joked seriously.
Leah sighed as she closed her eyes.
"Shoot."
"Look, I feel your pain, okay? But how much longer before you start doing something about it?"
"My husband is dead, you soulless bastard. What can I do about it?" She asked angrily in weirdness.
"You know you're just proving what I've been telling you all along, right? No good deed goes unpunished. Saving people, defending the weak, ridding the Galaxy of the darkness." He continued.
"You're an ass. And out of your speeches, this one sucks!" Leah snapped at him. Was he serious?!
"You haven't heard the rest of it."
"By all means ..."
"That being said, I do know how you're feeling." He softly started again.
"Look, when you first moved into the Falcon and decided to join my crew, I know I asked you to, but it scared the hell outta me. I mean, I was a drunk Smuggler ..." Han chuckled humbly, but Leah chuckled in truth.
"You still are, though." She added.
"Let me finish!" He said as he pointed his finger at her.
"I was messed-up, and I thought we wouldn't last long under the same roof, even though you were my friend. I don't do well with others, and I was scared to let you in. But when I decided to let you stay ... Suddenly, the Falcon was filled with this ... light. This energy. I mean, you brightened up everything." He stated in amazement.
"You've seen more darkness and heartbreak than any man and woman, alive and dead, in history. And yet, you never let it destroy your soul. You managed to stay in the light."
"And it cost me everything." Leah bitterly said.
She couldn't say that she never regretted being on the right side of things. If she wasn't, maybe she would have the things she lost. Her mother, her father, her husband ... but she wouldn't have herself. How was she supposed to feel?
"Maybe." He had to agree with her on that one.
"But if you were a dark moody bitch like your dad, we wouldn't have been friends. When I was taking you in, I thought I'd be a bad influence for you. But actually, you were a good influence on me. The purest soul I've ever met." He whispered happily.
"What I'm saying is, don't lose that light now. I understand you're hurting, and you have every right to. And I know the Rebellion needs General Skywalker, but ... I need my Princess." He quietly said as a tear fell off.
That caught Leah off guard. She had never seen Han cry before. Never. For once, maybe she was taking him seriously. It was weird, but ... good. It felt good to have him as a big brother. That was one of the times she knew she loved and needed him in her life.
"And in case you haven't noticed, I have a very nice and strong shoulder for you to cry on." He sarcastically said to cheer her up. But Leah visibly twitched in pain.
"Too soon?"
"Maybe a little." Leah quietly said as she chuckled softly.
Han grinned from ear to ear to break the ice and held her closer. Leah softly laughed as she joined him. He held her for a moment to calm her down. But he realized her breath was shaking, and she was trembling.
He broke the hug and frowned in alarm. Something was wrong.
"What'd the doc say? It's not anything important, is it?" He asked.
Now, Leah was completely shaking. She really didn't even know how to get into ... it.
"Uh ... Actually, I think it's life-changing." She vaguely said.
"Princess, you're not dying, are you?!" Han shrieked in alarm. He was completely serious.
"No, Han. I am not dying ... Not right now, anyway."
"Then what? Don't tell me you have ..."
"You are going to be a terrible uncle." She mused as she broke him off.
Han frowned in confusion. He had a weird look on his face, waiting for an explanation. Laetitia sighed deeply to actually say it.
"I'm ... pregnant."
Done :)
Yess! Finally! We saw Laetitia's pregnancy from a hundred chapters ago, but yay! It's finally here! Now, maybe she can rest more because she has a child to think about :)
What's you guys think of this chapter?
