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"All the rain and thunder, the days are getting darker. I'm looking in the mirror, for a little glimmer," Weiss was singing as she washed dishes in the kitchen. I cooked and Weiss demanded that she be given something to do so she did the dishes. She started watching me cook as well. She didn't trust me around the stove.

I sat back on one of the dinning annex chairs and took in the sight of her working and singing.

"I was dancing with my eyes wide-shut, searching for something hatefully-affectionate. Accompanied-lonely I'm delicate, Tear-smiles an infinite exhibit."

I sighed as I stared at her. Her voice was something special. The melody was somehow somber and eager. Her voice went up and down coasting like a wave as it hit the overture.

"Mirror, mirror I want to like what I see, how can I find a way to be happy? After so long I'm finally free, why can't I just be me. I was lonely now I'm scared. I feel like crying so unprepared. I have no clue how to help you, I despaired. Can't you see how I feel, I'm ensnared."

"Mirror, mirror I'm so lost. Once upon a time we were star-crossed. Covering my heart with creeping, crawling hoarfrost. So desperately we uncross. I was lonely now I'm scared. I feel like crying so unprepared. I have no clue how to help you, I despaired. Can't you see how I feel, I'm ensnared."

She finished with a crescendo. I sat back and applauded a little. Her voice was like mental foreplay. How can I describe it? It was as though her voice could turn me on but it didn't have to. It was exciting to listen to. It was my own personal show. I had a private audience and I was tempted to use it and reach out and grab her. She'd probably allow it if I reached out and tried to take her and it was so tantalizing. But that felt like I'd be pushing it a little. I couldn't just have her any time I wanted, could I? That would be selfish. Even though she basically offered. It felt somehow like I would be emotionally abusing her and I didn't like that notion.

I stood up and walked behind her. I wrapped both hands around her waist. She leaned backwards into me. She set her hands on top of mine and rested her head against my collar. She felt so small wrapped up in me. I kissed her forehead and she shut her eyes and let out a little smile and gave me a small smirk. Then she felt the bandage around my hand and the relaxed smile fell away from her face. It dropped rapidly. Something like a grimace took its place and she held my bandaged hand and rubbed a little circle into it with her thumb oh so gently. It made the roasted flesh tingle. She turned her head and she shuffled a little in my arms in queer fashion.

"What? What are you doing?" I wondered.

She didn't respond. She just shook oddly. She sniffled and I pieced it together. She was crying.

"What's the matter?" I spun her around and took in the sight. She was beautiful even when she was crying. It really wasn't very fair. Nobody should be so gorgeous while teary eyed. Her eyes were a little red and puffy and her face was streaked by tears. She was sniffling and she reached up to wipe her face.

I took my thumbs and wiped away the flood before she could. The salty tears lapped at my fingers but they weren't stopping. How did I stop it? How could I stop it? What was I supposed to do?

"It's you, you dumb asshole. I have no idea how to help you." She hit me with a tiny fist on the chest. "What am I supposed to do with you? You're all messed up. How am I going to fix this?"

"I was always messed up. I was always going to be messed up. That's not on you."

"Because of how you were born?"

"I didn't have a birth," I couldn't help but correct her. I had no birth and no birthday.

"You know what I meant," she went on. She was still crying. The tears were coming forth so fast. There was really no keeping up with them. They fell on her white and blue dress.

"I do. It was always going to fry my brain a little. I wasn't made to last or be a success. It's really not fair for you to blame yourself."

"What about the way you self harm?"

"What about it?"

"How do I help you stop? I can't watch you all the time. What am I going to do about it? I can't watch you hurt yourself."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You're so far from fine it's not even funny and it's on me to help you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. You- you- I-"

"It's Salem and all that. There's nothing you can do about it. That's why I left you before. I hated doing this to you. You want to help me but there's no way. And it sucks. It sucks being around people that you've hurt like I have."

"We forgive you for that."

"In a way that makes it suck even more. Can't you hold it against me? It would be so much better if you blamed me and held me fucking accountable for all the messed up shit I've done. But you keep on forgiving me. What do I do with that?"

"You'd rather I hated you?" She asked.

"Sometimes. Sometimes I would really rather you never stopped treating me like dirt."

"Why?" She seemed floored.

"Because it's what I deserve! Come on Weiss. I haven't really changed at all. Crush me under your foot. Punch me in the face. There's nothing stopping you. What are you waiting for?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not getting it. You should want to hurt me. I'm one of the bad guys."

"No you're fucking not. You're good. Is this why you hurt yourself?"

"A little bit. Also it feels good. I'm all crisscrossed in my brain."

"How do I get you to stop?"

"How should I know? Why is it so important that I stop?"

"Because I don't want you to be in pain! Gods you're such an asshole sometimes. How am I supposed to be upset with you? It's not even your fault. It's mental illness."

"I am my mental illness."

"No you're not!"

"This is me. I don't know what to tell you."

In that moment I felt a horrific guilt. I realized that I wasn't just hurting me. I was surrounded by empaths. Every time I burnt myself I was burning Weiss worse than I was burning me. I was roasting Ruby alive. Sure it felt good to me but then so did sex. Something clicked and I had to wake the fuck up. I had to stop or I'd be shoving Weiss's hand in the oven with me.

Gods above, I was so selfish. And the position I put Weiss in was straight awful. I was such an asshole. I needed to want to get better for me for them.

"I feel so guilty looking at you. I won't ever self harm again. I promise."

"You really promise?"

"Yeah. Look at what I'm doing to you. I'm such a monster. What have I done? Look at where I've brought you."

"This sounds like more self hatred."

"It is… I… I promise to try and stop that too."

"You deserve to be happy. You can't be happy hating yourself. Even if you killed Salem, you'd be fucking miserable. You deserve to be happy."

"I don't know how to be happy. I'm super fucking bad at it."

"Let me help you."

"I'll try. I promise to try," I muttered. "I'd kill myself for you."

"I don't want you to kill yourself. I want you to live. Can you live for me?"

"It would be easier to die," I confessed.

"I know. What I want from you is hard. Maybe it's unfair for me to ask you to."

"I'll try that too. I can try that too. Anything. Ask me for anything. Ask me for everything. Please. Once upon a time all I wanted in the world was the opportunity to do anything to impress you. That hasn't really changed at all."

"You don't have to worry about trying to impress me."

"I still owe you. I owe you everything. I'll do my best. I'll turn my life around. Starting today. No more bullshit."

"Thank you," she whispered. She'd finally stop crying, thank the merciful gods. She came in close and squeezed me tight. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her as close as possible. I hugged her tight enough that she let out a little whimper but not a bad one.

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Weiss and I took a shuttle up to the satellite. I probably could have picked her up and flown there myself but there was a process to these things. I couldn't just use my superpowers to skirt the rules. Well, I could but I shouldn't.

"How may I direct you?" A robotic assistant asked us by the entrance. The Vytal Festival arena had been renovated entirely and was unrecognizable.

"We'd like to make a video call," Weiss said. I stood behind her with my arms by my sides and tried to look passable. I let her take the lead. I was never much for social interaction and she was talented at it. Fuck me, why did she have to be so talented at everything? She made scum bags like me look like dogshit. I think- I think that's self hatred. I got to knock that off. Fucking idiot. Oh shit, there I go again. What a dope.

"This way." The assistant gestured and I followed Weiss and the colored strips on the floor. Where the arena used to be there were rows and rows of booths for teleconferencing. We stepped inside one and made use of the seats inside.

Everything was cold Atlas grey. The arena used to be open to the sky but a dark dome had been built over the entire stadium and enclosed the rows and rows of booths.

"Collect call for Ruby Rose please," Weiss asked the machine.

"Ding Dong." The machine chimed. "Just a moment while we place your call."

The device buzzed for a second or two until the holographic screen lit up before us to show off Ruby. She was so drop dead gorgeous. Her silver eyes were bright and her hair was parted with long bangs that drifted off one side of her face. Her hair was still dark with red tips that made her eyes flash. She was wearing a corset that really pushed her breasts out. Yang had some serious competition. Ruby had really developed into a young woman. And boy she was womanly. I had nearly forgotten. She was a real stunner.

"Hey guys!" Ruby waved.

"Hello Ruby," Weiss said.

"Good to see you Rubes. You're looking fantastic," I cut in.

"Well I've been better. It's a little lonely over here."

"Poor thing," Weiss tutted and Ruby pouted.

"Don't make fun of me! I miss you both. And Cloud it's been so long. Way too long. I've got all your letters but I miss the real you. I want to meet you."

"Soon, sweetheart," I agreed. "Whatever you want."

"I have some missions over here still but I want to see Beacon again. Yang and Blake are fine by the way. But they have each other. It's difficult to not feel like a third wheel to my sister and her girlfriend."

"Fair enough," I commented.

"We're teaching together over here so we're not going anywhere. You had better come to us. And Cloud and I have been talking. He's willing to try and have your family, Ruby."

"He is? You are?! That's wonderful! I knew that we shouldn't let Salem rule our lives."

"I…" I started. They both looked at me. Suddenly the booth felt tight with it's cool grey walls. "I'd prefer to destroy my Mother…"

"It's bad, Ruby. But he's willing to try at least. It's something."

"That is bad. But we take those," Ruby said.

"That's not all. He's been self harming."

"He's what?!"

"Weiss, come on," I protested.

"Not a choice. I'm asking. Go on and tell her," Weiss rapped out.

I sighed. "I like burning myself. The pain feels good. Mother has my mind all twisted up. Really just any intense sensation that tingles my nerves is just the best. Not much else to say other than that."

"He's promised to stop and I've been doing some reading. The next time he feels like hurting himself he's supposed to snap a rubber band on his wrist, or hold an ice cube or have a hot shower. Or even ask me for sex."

"Kill him with kindness, Weiss."

"It's not that big of a deal…"

"Shut up, Cloud," I did. "You've always been self destructive. I'm glad Weiss is doing something about it," Ruby shot out. "I tried for months and months to help him with his self hatred. I hope you make more progress with it than I did. I really had no idea how to approach it and help him," Ruby directed at Weiss.

"I'm working on it. But you got the go ahead on your family. Little progress," Weiss said.

"I had better work fast then. I want to start trying when we next see one another."

"Is that a good idea?" I asked. "Sweetheart we don't even know if I'm firing off live ones."

"Don't you want to see your babies' faces?" Ruby shot back. "I want you to."

I raised my hands in surrender. "The only other thing I need to do is stop my father. He can't just go around making more attempts at whatever the fuck I am."

"Hit him, Weiss. He's doing it again."

"He likes when I hit him!"

"Weiss does it so affectionately. It's darling," I defended.

"You're incorrigible."

"Well do something. He can't keep getting away with it. I won't have any awful negativity around my babies and Weiss won't either. Will you, Weiss?"

"No I suppose not. You'll have to change, Cloud."

They both looked at me and I felt penned in like a dog in a kennel. "I'm doing my best…" I managed.

"It will have to do."

"We love you, Cloud. You can do it. Master yourself and all that."

I flushed a little. Ruby was hard to look at when she stared at me so earnestly. She meant what she said and it was hard to avoid. A potentially comfortable truth that wouldn't stop poking me. I had done so much for her in that past. I was ready to slay her enemies back when they were just her's. I'd do more in the future if she asked me to. I'd do anything for her. For both of them. It wasn't really fair.

My life had been pretty hard. But at least I had this. I had these two. I...I needed to be grateful that Pyrrha hadn't allowed me to die with her. I needed to work on that. It was hard but true. I had the rest of my life in front of me if I didn't blow it. I could have so much life.

I just had to work at it. And maybe I could see my children grow up a little. What more could a speck like me ask for? I deserve nothing and I had so much when it came down to it. But it was something that could be taken away from me. It should be jealously guarded. I needed to become a dragon looming over my horde and defending it. And I could be.

"He's also smoking again. He never mentioned that in his letters. It must have slipped his mind."

"Cloud…"

"We've talked about it a little. I'm not sure it's the best option but he makes a good case for it. He doesn't have good things to say about the antipsychotics he was on in Atlas and he isn't optimistic about trying them again."

"Him? Not optimistic? Say it isn't so."

"Yeah well believe it or not."

"Har har," I managed.

"And you Weiss? How are you settling in?"

"I'm good. Cloud and I share a dorm at Beacon. Teaching is hard and I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to mend everything that was broken in the attack. Tensions are still so high. Some students lost their parents in the attack and not to Grimm. It's a serious issue and it can't be ignored or swept aside."

"Then confront it head on. I'm sure your best is good enough, Weiss."

"Can we talk again next week?" Weiss asked Ruby.

"Sure. I'll make myself free. I love you Weiss. I love you Cloud. Talk to you later."

"Love you Rubes."

"I love you Ruby, don't ever forget that. Goodbye for now."

Weiss cut the connection. A good thing too because I didn't have the heart to.

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-WG