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(Weiss PoV)
I think I was starting to get through to Cloud. He was the type you had to show something to. You couldn't just tell him and expect him to get it.
My parents taught me many forms of persuasion either accidentally or on purpose over the years. I fortunately didn't have to reach too deep into that bag of tricks to start convincing him he could live a pretty normal life with us. Ruby's dream was still possible. And I was calling it Ruby's dream out of convenience. No ulterior motive at all. I refused to over analyze that.
Because it really wasn't just Ruby's dream. Cloud wanted it too. So did I. We all wanted it. The only real obstacle in many ways was Cloud himself. He needed to be shown that it was just and true. He needed to know we wouldn't abandon him. He needed to stop resenting himself. And it seemed that that was falling on me. I wished that Ruby was here. She was good at getting through to people but then again she hadn't succeeded with him so far. So maybe I could do it. It was possible. I just had to play my cards just right and be slow and systematic. That's how I could 'fix' him.
And that wasn't a bad way of putting things. Cloud was broken in many ways. I wasn't saying that it was his fault. He had been through a great series of traumatic ordeals. He was hurting. He had a lot on his plate all of the time. More than anybody else alive probably. More even than Oscar who faced his own series of trials. Cloud just needed a hand or four. I could help him and he seemed willing to accept my help. I just had to do my best. It needed a firm, stern touch. I couldn't be compromising and flexible or he would stay his course.
I just wanted the best for him. And I knew he wanted the best for me. And we were it for each other. I just needed to make him understand that. It wasn't like his heart was closed to me or he denied his passions. Quite the opposite was true in fact. I'd felt his passions against mine. They were fulfilling. His obsessions were oblique off of our ordinary dream. He just needed a minor twist and things could be perfect.
Was I emotionally manipulative? I didn't think so. I wasn't playing with him except for his body. I was open with him about where I wanted to be. I told him the ways I wanted him to change. I didn't try and sleight of hand my way around things. Maybe that was emotional manipulation but then so was him calling me 'darling' when I was mad at him. Then every interaction I had became abuse. That wasn't true and it wasn't fair to say. He was willing to change just because I had asked him to. There was nothing underhanded or gaslighting in that. It wasn't like my father holding out affection until I did what he wanted and then like a dumb kid I just tried harder to be what he wanted me to be. It wasn't like Cloud's mother playing with his mind while he slept and gearing up psychic assaults. It was pure. It was me telling him what I wanted and him agreeing because he loved me.
And we still had some kinks to work out. I wanted him to give up the crime game but he made several really convincing points. He was afraid for our family and the damage his sisters could cause. That wasn't irrational. It was true and meaningful and I was glad he hadn't tried to hide his fear from me though he probably could have made the attempt.
Dealing with the Gainsborough girl had been hard but so easy. She needed to be told that all hopes of her dreams of touching what was mine were dead. She needed to know that. We spoke the same language. And I made it clear. I was willing to share him with Ruby but no one else would even make me consider it. And he was willing to share Ruby with me. That was a blessing. But I was maybe a touch clingy.
I didn't grow up in a household where affection was freely given. I liked it and I liked what was mine. I liked when Ruby touched me. I liked when Cloud played with my hair. That belonged to me and if it made me possessive then so be it. I always had material things all my life. Maybe that made me territorial about the people that were mine. Now that I'd had a taste of being loved I wasn't about to let it go. Not for the world. So I wasn't happy when Cloud danced with some girls. I allowed it only to help him if at all possible. I wasn't onboard with adding another girl to our trio. I loved Ruby and Cloud. And while I felt sorry for Rosé Gainsborough I wasn't about to let her in on what belonged to me.
Maybe I was the jealous type because I also resented Neapolitan even though Cloud hadn't been dating me at the time and I had been making moves on what was his girlfriend unilaterally. I'd wedged myself in. I felt like the odd one out for a long time. I wasn't about to start letting some random girl with little thoughts have a slice of my birthday cake. It was my birthday cake. It was bad enough Cloud had slept with Neapolitan and didn't break off his friendship with her. And it was a little unjust of me to ask him to. It would be overstepping myself to order him to even though he would if I asked. Just because he would do something if I told him to and I wanted to tell him so didn't mean that I should tell him to. That would be abusing the power I had over him. The power which he gave me over him of his own free will. That was the road to being controlling and emotionally abusive beyond just being possessive.
And there was nothing wrong with being possessive. I loved the people I loved and wanted their attention. There was nothing outlandish or hurtful in that alone. In fact, that was an expression of love. Maybe it was twisted and cold love but I was twisted and cold from the way I was raised. That probably wasn't a good thing but it wasn't a bad thing per se. But when I overreacted and became over excited that was when problems started cropping up. Should I really scream at every girl that danced with him or even track them down and talk to them? No. It was just a dance. I talked to Gainsborough because she reminded me of me. That was different. If I was her in my position I would shut me down too.
And it wasn't like I could blame Cloud for being himself. Dense and appealing. He's had no idea he was collecting jars of hearts.
Cloud had eyes only for me and Ruby. Acting like he didn't would be unbecoming and untrusting. And he was trustworthy. He wanted to marry me. Not some first year girls. He wanted to be engaged to me. He didn't ask them what they thought or whether it impacted them. He just did it. And it was the same with Ruby who I knew was demisexual. She wouldn't be sexually attracted to me if she didn't love me and the same was true for Cloud.
So I gave Rosé a little chat that I thought would put her in her place a little. Just a reminder that because she touched him once with my permission did not mean she would get any more than that. She may well have been heart broken but that happened. It even happened to me after a spell in Mistral.
But I was in it now and I was holding on and I would only let go if I died. Gainsborough and any other girls didn't get a cut of that. Cloud Strife belonged to me and Ruby. He was ours to tease and taunt and draw out. And there had been hiccups in sharing Ruby with him and him with Ruby that I wouldn't trade for anything now. I had worked hard to get where I was and discover my own sexuality: bi and maybe a little demi. Something grey like that. I worked hard to feel comfortable between Ruby and Cloud. Cloud worked hard to never show favoritism to the point where I genuinely felt like he didn't have a favorite despite that Ruby had been first. He called us by different pet names and he treated us differently. I wasn't sure how Pyrrha would have factored into this if at all. I didn't much like to think about that. I thought about it anyways.
Both Ruby and I would have been out if Pyrrha had survived. Was I supposed to be glad she died or something sick? And Cloud wasn't over her despite the passage of years. Was I not supposed to be a little jealous? How was I supposed to handle Pyrrha? I didn't know. Cloud didn't even know how he was supposed to feel about it. That put him through pains. I hated to see him hurt like that but there wasn't much I could do because I had no idea how to feel about Pyrrha Nikos myself. I didn't have any good advice and he really had been so young. He'd been a kid. We all had but he had been new to the world and everything. She had been so integral to his formative few months. And then she took him by the hand and guided him. She opened the gates and allowed him to become himself. Especially through her death. Her death unarguably changed him permanently. Would I love him if he were different because she had survived? What a brutal question to have to ask. And if I wanted to be able to help him I had to ask that sort of question.
What a burning feeling it inspired in me. What a source of pain. Pyrrha was a fountain of agony for all three of us and I had no good answer for helping Cloud heal from this pain that shaped him. And I was glad he had been formed in such a way even if I didn't like what it had cost. Could I love the plastic and hate the cast? He had been molded by this unbearable crucible and I wasn't sure I would love him if he hadn't been shaped in such a way. If Pyrrha hadn't died I don't think he would have become the man I loved. If Pyrrha hadn't died she would have him and have no real desire to share with me. With Ruby it had been different because she loved me and I loved her. If Pyrrha had survived she would not have loved either of us the way we love each other. She would have Jaune and I wouldn't have this threesome I had now. And I loved this trio and it hurt to think of a world without it. It hurt to think that that world might be the better of the two, especially for Cloud. What white hot pain was this I was putting myself through? But I had to consider it. I had to think it through if I wanted to help him. I had to understand how we got to where we were now. I had to finish what Pyrrha started even if it hurt me to even think of it. Ruby must have thought about it some but I was rather confident she was unwilling to really truly think this through because it hurt so fucking bad to do it.
That meant that I had to do it.
Because I loved him and wanted the best for him. It fell on me to look at things even though they were brutal just like it fell on me to massacre Gainsborough's heart. I couldn't let her go on thinking she had a chance. That would just make Cloud more distraught and cause her more pain in the long run. I had to be a bad, petty, ice cold, bitch. Partly because I was a petty, ice cold, bitch. I wanted what was mine and I wasn't afraid to hurt some feelings to make that heard. I had been an ice cold bitch to Jaune Arc as well. And now I had to be an ice cold bitch to Pyrrha even in her death. Because of her death. In spite of her death.
If Pyrrha had lived I wouldn't have my threesome. And you know what? I liked my trio. It was mine. And mine. And mine. And not Pyrrha's. That was my man and he wasn't Pyrrha's. I couldn't afford to think like that. Ruby might not be willing to take such a hard stance but it was necessary to help Jaune get over her and start healing. He'd avenged her but he openly confessed that Cinder's death brought him no peace. And why would it? It didn't deal with the heart of the problem.
At his core, he believed he should have died and Pyrrha should have lived. If not that exactly then he desired something similar. And I didn't want that. I was glad at how things panned out even though it cost me a friend and wounded him so grievously. I wouldn't love him if he hadn't been hurt and been forced to change. I was glad in a sick and twisted way the Pyrrha had died. And I wanted to share that with him and Ruby. It was optimistic predetermination. It was pessimistic liberty. It made me sound like such a bitch even in my own head.
Of course I would rather she had survived. Of course I missed her. But. But she did die. I couldn't change that. Cloud couldn't change that. She was gone forever and she left Ruby and I with a half finished sculpture of bronze and marble. We could leave it unfinished. Or we could make the most of it ourselves. And we could do it without feeling guilty. Because Ruby, Cloud, and I deserved it. Cloud especially after all he had been through. Cloud had had it pretty fucking rough, not going to lie. He had been put through an absolute gauntlet and it still wasn't over for him and I was asking him for even more when I told him to give up his drugs and try antipsychotics again.
What a mess.
Things were horrifically interwoven and tangled even without more girls being involved. Cloud didn't need to be worried about more girls and their hearts. He needed to rest for the first time in his entire life. And here was the selfish, ice cold bitch part: I wanted to rest with him. I wanted it to be me and Ruby and Cloud and no one else. And I was glad that it was me and Ruby who had it. I was happy it fell on me to shepard this era into play. The very same side of me that was looking forward to planning my wedding was happy I was playing keep away and trying to help Cloud get over Pyrrha. I looked inside myself and all I saw was me. I was a whirling blizzard and I was happy. I liked where my life had gone even if I never would have seen it coming like this. I liked that Cloud liked me so much that he let me in and forgave me for slamming the door in his face. I liked how hungry he was for my body and my personality. He seemed to drink up every single part of me with thorough pleasure. He swallowed me like fine drink. He was intoxicated on the sound of my voice. I loved that. I was glad I had that. The power I had over him was savory and sweet.
And while I never thought it would be for me, I didn't mind the polygamy. It was Ruby I was partaking in as well. Her body, her personality, her life, her secrets, her weaknesses, all of it. I was glad Cloud had decided to share her with me. From the outside looking in, he seemed like the lucky one with two girls on each arm. But it was really me that was the lucky one. It was me he decided to let in and because Ruby had begged him not to make her choose between us. I was the lucky person in all this. I got a second chance with him, someone who became an almost ideal man before my very eyes, and I got to marry my partner and best friend. I couldn't ask for more.
And maybe all of that made me frozen and needy and possessive and clingy and cold. Maybe I liked it that way. What was a girl to do besides her best?
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-WG
