December 3
I've been working with Anana over the past few days on everything from spells, archery, exorcisms, and more. I'm using my spiritual powers in ways that I never knew I could. I can tell that I'm getting stronger and it's such a thrilling feeling.
"You've been doing well," Anana said during our session today. "But I can tell you're still holding back."
"I am?"
"I can sense that there is great power within you, more than what you are allowing yourself to use. Think about what is holding you back and cast aside your fears."
I looked down as I tried to think of what could be holding me back. Maybe fear of inadequacy? Trying to live up to expectations? A combination of both?
"You are capable of it and I want to see you able to use your power to its fullest extent without having to think twice about it. Channel the power of the four spirits and let go of what is holding you back."
I tried again but even I knew that I still wasn't doing what was asked of me.
"I'm sorry, I…"
Anana put her hand on my shoulder. "It takes practice. We will pick up again tomorrow."
As she walked off, I felt like a failure.
A moment later, Inuyasha came outside. "You all done for today?" he asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
He must have been able to tell how upset my tone was. It figures, I can never hide anything from him. "What's the matter?"
"I'm no good at this, Yasha."
"What? You were doing great before." He led me over to the grass to sit with him. He sat across from me and held my hands. "What happened, love?"
"Anana said I haven't unleashed my full power yet. She says I need to let go of whatever is holding me back. I tried and I wasn't able to do it. I don't know if I can…"
"Sometimes it just takes practice."
"That's what she said but what if I'm never able to do it? I'll never become a great priestess. All of my training will have been for nothing."
"Things get hard when you're trying to accomplish something. You can't give up though. Remember when I was learning how to use the tetsusaiga? I went through hell and back with that thing."
I nodded remembering how difficult it was for him. With every new technique, he was put to an extremely difficult, and sometimes life-threatening, task but he never quit no matter how hard it got.
"That time the tetsusaiga broke, I literally wanted to die. And then when Totosai reforged it and it was super heavy, I had to learn how to use it all over again," he continued. "But eventually I mastered it and the tetsusaiga and I became one. I think that's how it'll be with your spiritual powers. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it."
I couldn't help but feel reassured. Inuyasha was right. I couldn't expect things to be easy, but when it's all said and done my spiritual powers will be an extension of me that I will be able to use without a second thought, just like the tetsusaiga is an extension of him.
I took his face in his hands and kissed him. "You give a really good pep talk, you know that?"
"I've gotten a few good ones from you over the years. I'm just returning the favor." He kissed me again. "Now that that's done, I think we need to relax you. You've had a long day."
There was a playful look on his face. I was curious to know where he was going with this. "What do you have in mind?"
"It's been a few days since we've used the hot spring. Care to join me?"
"Of course," I said, eagerly. I giggled as he picked me up and then he took off towards the hot spring, hidden at the back of the shrine.
As soon as we got to the hot spring, we took our clothes off and got in. It didn't take long for things to get very hot and heavy. Sure enough, with the way Inuyasha made love to me, those orgasms certainly succeeded in getting my mind off my worries.
I'm certainly relaxed by now as I sit here writing. I also feel a renewed sense of confidence. I'm ready to go into my training tomorrow and try my best no matter what happens.
