Will I be good enough

Lord Stanley Castle was thinking deeply as he looked out the window of the carriage... he had spent the best part of the night reading his book and hoping he would not embarrass himself. He could see she was far superior in knowledge even though he had attended university. He regretted not applying himself more in his studies.

He had decided from the beginning he would be honest about his faults and past actions. It was freeing not having to put on a pretence and false confidence.

He was thankful her family had forgiven him for his behaviour in York. He blushed at his actions towards the women. He had learned a lesson that had changed the course of his life. He had been spending more time with his father and learning more about the management of the family's holdings. Even before meeting Victoria he was starting to prepare himself for his future life.

He had developed a rogue reputation by just being associated with Lord North and Lord South. His mother had warned him about his close friends. He had never participated in their illegal or violent activities which he was grateful for. He couldn't erase his past but learn from it and make changes. He had heard about the reputation of Henry Crowe and that it was possible to change and find a lady who would see past his poor choices.

He was brought out of his mussing by the carriage stopping and his two sisters seating themselves opposite himself and his mother!

"Mother?... looking at her and then his sisters

"We asked mother if we could come... we wanted to see our new friends again... especially Victoria!" commented Georgina

"You were not invited!" Stanley simply stated and realised he was not going to be able to spent the time he wanted with the lovely Victoria. His head dropping in disappointment.

"They are visiting Alison and Charlotte... my dear... you will still get your time with Victoria but not alone" spoke his compassionate mother.

He breathed out in relief and nodded at his mother's instruction...he was not going to do anything to ruin his future chances with Victoria. He looked out the window and started thinking about the conversation he was to have with her. His mother and sisters just looked at each other in disbelief... they hoped he would be successful in his pursuit as they could see his heart was already engaged.

Alexandra watched her son and smiled... he was the spitting image of his handsome father... 6 foot 2 with dark eyes and wavy dark brown hair... he was also intelligent and she was pleased Victoria Heywood appreciated him ... more than the other women who had thrown themselves at her son.

They arrived on time and were welcomed by the ladies. The various friendship groups separating to engage in their own conversations. It was at this point Victoria suggested they go and sit in the corner of the room to discuss the book he was reading... he was a little stunned when he noticed she had pages of notes and he started feeling unprepared.

Charlotte stopping him. "don't let my sister scare you... she was preparing all morning... this really matters to her" giving him an encouraging smilie.

"Thank you" he commented softly and headed over to where Victoria had settled herself.

Stanley spent the next hour listening and talking about the book with Victoria. She was passionate and knew so much. His admiration for her grew as she spoke about the themes and characters. She seemed to be pleased with him and gave him another book to read for their next discussion.

While they were having their discussion they were being observed by everyone in the room... particularly their mothers.

"Alexandra... I have never seen someone listen so intently to my daughter"

"He really wants to improve himself but I know he finds your daughter special" admitted Alexandra

"Victoria has never taken the time to help someone like this... she normally spends her time arguing her point" reflected Grace

Stanley were disappointed their time was finished but his heart thumped when she asked if anyone would like to go for a walk in the park. Everyone except Charlotte and Henry decided to go. Charlotte was looking tired and Henry suggested she have a rest. They bid everyone a good afternoon and headed to their room. Everyone else going for a walk including the children who swarmed around them like bees.

Stanley had Victoria on his arm...

"Lord Castle... I have to confess when I first meet you I made a snap judgement about you" spoke Victoria hesitantly

"Hmmm" Stanley looking down to see her face

"I told my family you were more concerned about your looks than your brains... I know I made a judgment without really knowing you... please forgive me" she closed her eyes and looked up to see his reaction.

"Thank you... but in the past I was concerned about my looks..." he spoke honestly

"What are you concerned about now?" she questioned him

"I want to become a man that will be respected and that a woman would see worthy of marrying" he shared while looking into her eyes.

"Ohhh.. I think that is a noble aim" Victoria smiled brightly which warmed his heart.

"How do you think I am going with my noble aim?" He returned a smile and waited to see what she thought of him.

"I think... I think... you... are already showing some of those qualities" she breathed out honestly.

"Good... I am aiming to get...better... you inspire me to be a better man" he shared his heart... he had never done that before...

After their guests had left Grace took her daughter aside

"How did it go? It seems you have a willing pupil?"

"Yes... he has a soft heart and I find him very agreeable!"

Well I image we will be seeing him more so get to know him my love... we only have a limited time before we go home for Alison's wedding.

Victoria nodded and spent her night thinking about the handsome but clever Lord Castle.