CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE
BELLA'S POV:
After my talk with Edward, the stifling air of tension amongst us settled. For that, I was grateful. I didn't want what little time we had left to be riddled with conflict. We've had enough of that to last us for a while. We stayed away from tough topics—now that we've broached the topic of relocation, there really wasn't much left to hash out between us. Or at least that's what I told myself. I know there is more to figure out, but we have time to figure things out. Except that time together was currently running out. I felt like I was at a sporting event, watching the scoreboard clock counting down the last remaining seconds of play. Tick. Tick. Tick. Each second flying by, and nothing could stop it. And nothing did stop it, for tomorrow was dooms day. Tomorrow, Edward was leaving.
I was excited for Alice's visit, but I think a lot of that had to do with me focusing on the good of the situation, instead of the hard. Edward's leaving is going to hit Tony severely. Alice and Sophia's presence will help, but it really is just a poor substitute. And if Tony's behavior over the last few days is any indicator, then we were in for a world of trouble. He's always been a mild-mannered kid. But this week, he's been very moody and disagreeable. Everything was turning into an argument with him. "Pick up your toys." NO. "Time for bed." NO. "You have to take a bath." NO. I thought we were done with the NO phase back when he was two, but he was regressing. Because of this, he has seen his fair share of time outs. Thankfully, I wasn't always the bad guy, as Edward stepped in and dished some out. You could tell he hated to be a disciplinarian, but at least he was willing to do his share of co-parenting here.
I'm no psychologist, but I understand that this behavior has to do with Edward leaving. Tony is just so young, and doesn't fully understand the logistics of it all, yet alone understand all the feelings he's encountering. Because of that, he's lashing out. In some ways, I'm sure he's seeing this upcoming separation as an abandonment. We just need to do everything in our power to have him see that Edward isn't truly going anywhere. I pray that today goes smoothly though. With it being Edward's last day, it would be nice for it to be a memorable one, instead of one filled with turbulence.
A knock on the door, alerted me that I was no longer alone with my thoughts. I was pleased to see Sue was here. I needed to talk to her, and work out a couple of things.
"Hello Sue. Time already?" I mused.
"A new day is upon us. How are you this morning dear?" she asked, as she came into the den, my downstairs bedroom.
"Getting. There. Waking up. With less. Pain."
"That is certainly a good sign. Everybody moves around a lot in their sleep, so that just means your ribs are truly recuperating if you aren't feeling those effects the next day. You might even be able to start weaning off some of the meds too."
"Any progress. Is good."
Sue helped me through my morning ritual, and assisted in my getting dressed for the day. When I was finished, I asked for my whiteboard, which Sue gracefully retrieved for me.
"So, we all know that Edward is leaving tomorrow. Thankfully, his sister is coming to stay with us for a couple of days, but there is going to be a gap between his going and her coming. Would you be available to stay with us overnight those two days?"
"Of course, I can do that Bella. I was worried you were just going to wing it. I was all set to stick my nose in it this morning, and ask to stay myself."
"When it comes to my son, I can't afford to be too proud. I hate having to ask you, but if Edward staying here showed us anything, it's that another adult is needed upstairs with Tony."
"I already kept those days open just in case, so we are ready to go. And once you know the full extent of Alice's visit, we can look at the calendar again to see when I'm needed overnight again."
"Thank you so much Sue. You've truly been a godsend these two weeks."
"Really, it's my job Bella. But it's always easier when the patient isn't fighting you every step of the way. Its people like you that make the job bearable."
I blushed at her compliment, but focused on writing my next message. "One last thing. With it being his last day with Tony, I wanted to send them off to spend some time together. You know Edward will worry if I'm alone for too long. Do you think you could come back mid-day? Just so we can appease his concerns?
"I have another patient that I check on after lunch, but I can stop by here since its on the way. It would be no bother at all. I could even bring lunch back with me. If that would be alright with you."
"Sounds. Perfect. Thank you."
"No worries Bella. I know how hard tomorrow is going to be for both those boys. They need this."
With things now settled, Sue left for the day. I rolled myself into the kitchen, and found Edward there already, preparing our mugs with coffee. A girl could get used to this kind of pampering, I thought.
"Good morning Bella," Edward crooned, handing me my perfect cup. It still surprises me that he remembers exactly how many sugars and milk to add to achieve it. But it really shouldn't. That's just Edward for you. He was always good at reading me.
"Morning. Tony?" I asked, knowing Edward would understand what I was asking.
"He had a rough night. Two nightmares. I took him back with me sometime around 4am, and he's still asleep in your room now."
"He's. Worried. About. Tom-orrow."
"Aren't we all?" Edward quipped, but then firmly snapped his lips together, as if to stop himself from saying anything else. He sighed, before saying, "I'm sorry. That came out sounding harsher than I meant for it. I still am pretending tomorrow isn't happening."
"I understand. Its hard." Thankfully I had planned ahead, and already had my whiteboard on me. "I think what you two need is to make the most out of this last day. Go out, do something just the two of you."
"We can't leave you alone Bella. You should come with us," he started to protest, but I was already writing my counter argument on the board.
"I'm a grown woman Edward. I am capable of being on my own. My books are feeling highly neglected, and I wouldn't mind just sitting and reading. Alone time is a bit unheard of when you're a parent."
"But—" I held up my hand to stop him. He must have seen something on my face, since he held that thought while I wrote out mine.
"And I won't be fully alone. I already checked with Sue. She is free to come back midday, and check on me/have lunch with me."
"Planned this all out, huh?" he asked me, a smile creeping on his face.
"I know how your mind works Edward. It's getting easier to guess what your argument points are going to be. Did I cover them all?"
"I'd be more comfortable is someone was here the whole time, but again, you are recovering and don't truly need that level of care. I'm just a worrywart."
I snorted at this. "Yes. You are."
"Don't go picking on me Bella. Especially if you want me to give into your whims."
"My whims? I'm offering you a day to spend with your son. Is that really just my whims?"
"No, you've got me there. I would love to take him out for the day. Not that he really should be getting a reward with his behavior this week, but this is one of those extenuating circumstances, right? Any suggestions on what we should do?"
"You did just fine when you planned your day at the chocolate factory."
"I had a little more time to plan that one out. And plus, I really don't want to go all the way to Seattle today, especially when it's where I'll be leaving from tomorrow. It would probably distract me from enjoying the day if I was in the same city as the airport."
"Good. Point." I said, while I thought about what they could do. Forks really doesn't leave much to be desired when it comes to entertainment. Port Angeles was slightly better, but a lot of those attractions were outdoors, and the weather here was so fickle. Then it hit me. I grabbed the whiteboard, and began scribbling away. "You could go to the Feiro Marine Life Center in Port Angeles. It's like an aquarium/educational center. I've taken Tony there a couple of times, and he's always enjoyed himself. Especially the hands-on exhibits. I'm sure he'd love to play tour guide, and share it with you. It's on the small side—nothing like a big city would offer, but I figured this would appease you as not being too far in case I needed you."
"Sounds doable to me. Then we could go to lunch, and head back. I don't want to be gone the entire day. Any ideas for dinner? Do you want me to pick something up on the way back?"
"We can worry about that later. Why don't you take him early, and do breakfast and lunch? Make it seem more special?"
"I thought he should get some more sleep since he had a rough go of it last night."
"He may be tired, but once he hears the plan, he'll be rejuvenated. He can always catch up on sleep tomorrow Edward."
Edward seemed to ponder over what I said, but it didn't take him long to nod, as if agreeing with me. "Okay, yea. We'll make a day of it. I'll go and get him ready now. Thank you, Bella. While I'm upstairs, decide where you want to be for the day, because I'm guessing you don't want to be parked in your chair. I'll help you get settled before we go."
"Will do." I said to his retreating form, pleased that he agreed to my idea so easily. I just knew that this day would be exactly what the two of them needed to end this trip on a high note.
EDWARD'S POV:
As I made my way back to Bella's room, I found I had some extra pep in my step. Getting to take Tony out for the day had done wonders for my mood. I was already dreading today since it was going to be our last, but now I had something new to focus on. I stopped before I got to the door. That was probably her intention, I thought. She wanted me to have a good last day, which is why she was sending us on our way. Of course, having her come along would be even better, but I appreciated what she was trying to do. My time with Tony was limited, and she was showing me that she can share. I didn't think it was possible to love her even more than I already do, but my heart was swelling with gratitude. I seriously hope that when they come to Chicago, I am able to move forward with my intentions to woo Bella. Maybe Alice can work on her while she's here, see if she'll be more receptive to the idea.
But now wasn't the time to think about that. I let myself back into Bella's room, and saw that Tony was still fast asleep haphazardly across the bed. For a little guy, he sure can take over an entire Queen size mattress. I made my way over to the bed, and sat down beside him. Growing up with Emmett, I'm well educated on the many torturous ways to wake a person up. I decided to implement some on Tony to start the day off in a jovial mood.
Tony's sleep didn't last long thanks to my tickling. In no time he was shrieking in between giggles. But that all came to an abrupt stop when I heard him plea, "Stop. Stop I'm gonna pee. No more. Please." While it might be funny to see, I really didn't want to have to remake Bella's bed, especially if I only had one more night here. I held my hands up in surrender, as Tony rushed past me to the bathroom. I flopped back on the bed, and waited for him to be done. In no time, he crawled back up on the mattress, and settled in beside me.
"So, I was thinking we need a man's day Tony. Just like when we went to the Chocolate Factory. We had fun that day, right?" I probed.
"A man's day? But I'm a boy." Figures he would get held up on the wording of things.
"It's okay that you're a boy. I just meant that it should be a day of just the two of us—no girls allowed. What do you think?"
"Mommy can't come?" Tony asked, looking slightly sad.
"She could come if you want. But she said that she wanted to do some reading. I thought we could leave her here to be boring, but us two could go on an adventure."
Tony perked up after hearing that. "I like adventures. What kind?"
"Your mom was telling me about the aquarium that's nearby. She said that you know a lot about the fish and the animals that live under the sea. I don't know a lot about that myself. I was wondering if maybe we could go and you could teach me? Show me what your favorites are."
"I love the aquarium. I haven't been in like fifty million days!"
"Fifty million? Well, that sounds like you are definitely due for a visit then. I was thinking maybe we could go grab some breakfast beforehand, unless you're too tired."
Tony quickly jumped up to his feet, and started jumping on the bed. "No, I'm not tired. I'm all awake now. See?" I wasn't sure what the rules were in regards to jumping on the bed, so I quickly grabbed him, and placed him back on solid ground.
"Well, go and get dressed then. The sooner you're dressed, the sooner the adventure can begin." That was all Tony needed to hear to bolt out of the room. I followed behind because I really didn't want to waste a minute with him.
In no time, we were dressed; after getting Bella situated on the couch with her books, medicine, water bottle, cellphone and anything else I could think she might need, we were out the door. We stopped at IHOP on the way, because those pancakes are like dessert for breakfast, and I figured that would be a treat Tony wasn't accustomed to. He said he's only had blueberries on his pancakes before, but they never looked like pie filling like the pictures on the menu showed. He squealed with delight when his Chocolate Chocolate-Chip Pancakes came out with a dollop of whipped cream on top. There was no way he was going to finish all that, but despite the amount of food in front of him, he helped himself to some of my Cinn-A-Stack. I didn't want Bella to kill me completely, so I smartly ordered a side of fruit salad for both of us. Tony was less than thrilled about that, but I told him that was what we needed to do if he wanted his chocolatey concoction.
Now that he was amped up on sugar, his attention was all over the place when we got to the Feiro Marine Life Center. Though, I don't think I could blame it all on the sugar. He was so excited to show me everything, and teach me things that he had learned from previous visits. I personally got a kick out of him trying to explain anemones to me, let alone say the word. It was hard to keep up with how quickly his mind was firing things at me, but I was just pleased that he was enjoying himself. He truly was such a smart boy with how much information he is able to retain. We spent the majority of our time at the three touch tanks. Its easy to see that kids really do grasp the information better when they can get their hands on things. Tony wasn't afraid to touch anything, always front and center when it was his turn to experience a new creature. I snapped several pictures so I can remember this day, as well as share it later with Bella.
After the aquarium, I thought it might be good for him to get some of that excess energy out before getting back in the car, so we headed out to a playground that I passed on the way into town. Tony easily made friends, and soon they were absorbed in an imaginative game involving pirates and princesses. I sat down on a bench and just watched him being so carefree, so young. Right here he wasn't worrying about tomorrow. And for that I was grateful. The last few days had been hard on him, on all of us. It was nice to see that he was capable of putting it behind him, at least for now, to just be.
For me, unfortunately, I couldn't just be. My heart clenched at the thought that in less than 14 hours, I would have to leave them. I have tried as best as I could to get him to understand that I was coming back. But children had their own fears, and those are hard to fight against. I know the distance is only going to exacerbate those fears. But I would do everything in my power to make him believe that I loved him, and I was coming back, back to him. I wanted to promise that I would talk to him everyday before he went to bed, but I knew realistically that with medical emergencies I couldn't guarantee him that. Even if I could pull it off most days, the one time I couldn't would undo any progress we had made. I will just have to call him and video chat with him whenever I can, and just hope that it is enough. None of this is going to be easy until we are all together again. We just have to get through these few months to achieve the end goal.
I could see that Tony was starting to get tuckered out, so I called him over. Wanting to get a good meal into him, we decided to go to a steakhouse for a big lunch. I told him that when I was little, my brother and I always went out for steak dinners with my dad. It was a special treat for the three of us, and some of my favorite memories centered around those visits. I told him that I wanted to do the same with him. Tony was excited to get a "big piece of meat" because he was a man like me. While we were waiting on our food, I checked in with Bella, who confirmed that Sue did in fact stop by, and that they were enjoying lunch. I told her what we had been up to, sending her a picture or two to show that the day had been successful. I was just telling her we would be home after lunch when I heard, "I like adventure days," quietly come from Tony's lips.
I turned to look at him, and saw that he had a sad look on his face. Trying to keep the mood light, I answered, "Today was a good day. I'm glad you had a good time."
"I want more adventure days. Can we have another one tomorrow?" he asked, his eyes so hopeful.
I reached forward and grasped his little hand in mine. "Tony, I would love to have more adventure days with you. There is still so much that you and I can do. Unfortunately, those days will have to wait a little bit, because I need to go back to Chicago tomorrow. You remember that I'm a doctor? I need to get back to work, and help all the sick people get better."
"But I don't want you to go back to Chicago. I want you to stay here. I want more adventure days. I want more time. I want my daddy," Tony exclaimed, tears building in his eyes.
"I want all of that too buddy. But remember when we had to go to Chicago so that I could get some clothes, and talk to my boss at work, just so I could come here for a little bit? Well, if I plan to come here for even a longer time, I need to go back to Chicago for more things, and to finish up my job."
"But I like you being here. Mommy likes you being here too. I want you to stay."
"And I like being here as well Tony. I have loved being here with you guys. I like feeling like we are a family. I am working on making that happen for real though Tony. I want that forever. Do you know how long forever is?" I asked him, watching as he shook his head no. "Forever means for your entire life. I want us to be together always. That is what I'm working on."
"That is a long time," Tony considered, looking at me with wide eyes.
"Yes, it is. But, before forever can begin, I need to get everything settled in Chicago so that I can make that happen. That doesn't mean we aren't going to see each other. I am going to be back in a couple of weeks to visit. And Mommy said that you and her are going to come to stay in Chicago with me for a while. I'm not leaving and just disappearing. We are going to see each other."
"I just got you. I don't want to lose you."
"You are never going to lose me Tony. I'm your Daddy, and we will be together in each other's lives forever. I promise you that. We just need to figure out where forever is going to be. Either here in Forks, or in Chicago."
"I just want to be with you now. Why can't we come to Chicago now then? Then we can still be together," he asked, though it sounded a little more like a whine.
I sighed. I wished they could come now, but that wasn't possible. I needed to explain this as delicately as I could. "Mommy is still getting better. Even though she is doing way better than when she was in the hospital, she still has a few too many injuries to fly right now. But it won't be for much longer."
"Where will we stay when we are in Chicago? In your building up in the sky?" he asked. He did bring up a valid point. When Bella discussed coming to stay in Chicago, we never addressed where they would be staying. Ideally, I'd love it if they stayed with me, but I'm not sure if Bella would be comfortable with that. I'd have to pick her brain to get a better sense of what she was thinking. But not today.
"I'm not entirely sure yet buddy. We have to work it out with Mommy, and figure it all out. If not with me, then maybe you guys can stay with Grandma and Grandpa. But we have time to plan it all out." Wanting to get onto happier thoughts, I changed the subject. "And, maybe instead of missing me while I'm gone, you can go online with Mommy and plan out all the fun things you want to do when you come back to Chicago. We didn't get to do much when we flew out there that one day. There's plenty of things we could do for more adventure days."
"Oh boy. I could make a list! And then we could do all the things on the list. Do you think Uncle Emmett and Grandpa and the others want to do things too? But maybe we should just keep adventure days just for you and me? I don't know if I want to share it with them." Tony was rambling now, unsure of what he himself even wanted.
"Adventure days can be either just for us, or we can sometimes invite others to join in to. We can pick and choose which days will be extra special ones. I like when it's just you and me, too Tony."
"Me too Daddy," he said.
Our conversation was put on hold as the waitress delivered our food. Tony did opt for steak, which I had to help cut up for him. I guess that is the advantage of ordering chicken nuggets, or food one can eat with their hands. It requires less work for the parent to do. Regardless, he enjoyed the food, and I enjoyed mine when I finally got around to eating it. Both of us were full by the time we polished off our plates. I hope Bella wouldn't mind a later dinner. As I was getting Tony situated in the car for our ride home, he tugged on my shirt to get my full attention.
"Can I sleep with you tonight? Since it's the last time before you go away? I just want to be with you."
I couldn't answer him without talking to Bella first. I didn't want to make things harder for him, and her after I leave. So, I simply answered, "We'll see buddy. Let's get home. I'm sure Mommy wants to hear all about the fun adventure we had today."
Tony passed out on the ride home. I found myself continuously checking the review mirror just so I could watch his peaceful face. I'm glad that we talked some at lunch, but I'm sure this was just the tip of the iceberg. I knew Bella was going to get the brunt of it from him when I'm gone. She certainly didn't need that extra stress while she was healing, but this couldn't be avoided. Should I ask him to take it easy on her? Or would that only be drawing more attention to the fact that I was leaving? I would have to wait and see how the rest of today played out.
BELLA'S POV:
I must have fallen asleep at some point, but I was startled awake when Tony barged into the living room and flung himself on the couch next to me.
"Mommy, I love adventure days. They are so much fun. We had dessert pancakes, and then saw lots of fish, and I held a hermit crab, and then we had tradition steaks. And Daddy took lots of pictures to show you it all. Oh, and I forgot about the playground. I made a new friend. His name is Skylar. He was teaching me how to talk like a pirate. They go like this. Arrrrrggh."
"Slow down. Tony" I said, trying to make sense of all the words coming out of his mouth. I swear, his brain works faster than his mouth does sometimes, and it's hard to keep up.
He heeded my warning, and went into greater detail about their day. It sounded like it had worked out perfectly. And based on the smiles on both of their faces, it had the desired effect. Edward came and sat down on my other side, and occasionally would interject a detail into the story, or show me a picture to coincide with what Tony was talking about. The only time Tony stopped talking to take a breath was when Edward had a picture to show us all. After he had recounted his entire day, Tony then went on to talk about how they were going to have more adventure days in Chicago.
"Mommy, can you help me find things for us to do on our adventures?" Tony asked me, his eyes pleading with me to assist him on this task.
"I thought that if he was busy doing research, he'd have something else to focus on during the separation," Edward explained. I nodded, pleased that Edward had tried to take some of the strain off.
Smiling at Tony, I said, "We can. Do that. Can look. On Computer."
"Daddy said we can make a list. And I still want to see more of the things from your stories. And with you there, you can come too. But not all the time, because adventure days are just me and Daddy's. But we like you too, so you can come sometimes." Tony diplomatically explained.
I chuckled at him, "Okay. Can take. Turns."
Tony wanted to call Sophia and tell her about his day, so Edward set him up on the tablet in his room. He came back downstairs and sat next to me again on the couch.
"Thank you for today. It really was just what we needed," he exclaimed.
"Glad. It worked. Out."
"It will be a great memory that will stay with me. I hope these adventure days are just the start of many."
"Will be." When we lapsed into silence, I added, "Can be. Your thing. Just like. He said."
"I still wish you had come with us Bella. I like it when it's the three of us."
"There will. Be time for. That too." I told him. I was startled by how intensely he was staring at me. I was wondering if maybe I had said the wrong thing. But from the look he was giving me, it seemed that maybe I had said just the right thing.
The doorbell rang, startling us from our intense locked gaze. My eyebrows furrowed. I wasn't expecting anyone. I shrugged, hoping Edward got that message that I had no clue who that could be. He sighed, and got up from the couch, making his way to the door.
I was surprised when I heard him say malevolently, "What are you doing here?"
I adjusted my position on the couch so I could get a better view of the doorway. There, looking out of place, and very unsure, was Jessica Black. So much for a peaceful last night in.
