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"You're also dating Miss Rose?" Glynda asked. "Aren't you a lucky man."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me. Am I? With everything you know about me?"

"Well…" she didn't have a ready retort.

"Anyway, there just isn't room in the dorm for everyone. I'll be buying a house out at Patch and flying in to commute everyday."

"Is your Mover rating that high?"

"Yeah. It is. And Ruby and Weiss both want kids and there's no way that will fly in the dorms here."

"So you're keeping this job?"

"Looks like it. Ruby and Weiss both want me to so I don't really have a choice."

"It does have benefits."

"They like how safe it is for me. Compared to the sort of work I could be doing it's really incredibly safe. And the pay is good enough to raise our family, coupled with our savings."

"But Ruby Rose needs a place to stay while you house shop?"

"An extra dorm, maybe? If one is free. I don't want to impose and I can make other arrangements if I have to. I'd like her and Weiss to be close though while we shop and plan our wedding."

"You're engaged to them?"

"Only recently."

"You didn't mention any of this whenever I brought up team RWBY," Glynda smirked.

"I… tend to keep that sort of thing private. It's not something I run around bragging about."

"But you probably could."

"Look… I could also rip a person in half. Probably shouldn't do that. Or brag about that just because I can. Probably shouldn't brag about my relationships either."

"Those are the same thing to you?"

"Well, they're both something I probably shouldn't do. Occasionally the situation merits it. I have two fiancés. That's pretty slick. They're both beautiful girls who want my children. They like me more than I like me. That's nuts."

Glynda laughed at me. "You poor, poor man. How will you survive a dual pregnancy?"

"Maybe keep my dorm open here…"

"No. You have to pay the piper," she laughed some more. "I'm glad you have this. I was worried when you told me about your experiences that you had no good things tethering you to this world. I'm glad that isn't the case. You lost so much. It's good that you have some bright lights in your life to keep you strong and happy. It's far too easy to give into despair without something like that. It did weigh on my mind. What would I really do to stop you if the worst should pass? But you have these other hooks pulling you to the world besides your work. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you…" I trailed off. "I hope we never have to answer the question of stopping me. I hope it never comes to that. But I'm glad that you were preparing yourself. It makes me feel a little safer. That's one of the perks of this job really. You. You probably stand the best chance of getting in my way."

"But you don't think I could stop you."

"Maybe that will change. But no, I don't think you can. That scares me."

"I'll get you the keys to another dorm next to yours. Best of luck with the house shopping and wedding."

"Thanks."

"Miss Rose's presence won't impede your work, will it?"

"I don't think so. Our attempts to find a good antipsychotic are more likely to disrupt my work than Ruby is."

"But that's important and you should do it."

"Yeah. It's important and I really need to do it. But it's hard. Have you ever been on that sort of medication?"

"No, not me. I was a little depressed after Beacon fell but not so much that I required medication."

"Yeah. It's difficult to describe exactly what those meds are like. They change you. They change the way you think and function. Every aspect of your life just becomes slightly twisted and wrong. The way you remember stuff and feel emotions and think in general just becomes slightly off. And that's the goal. To find the right twist of yourself that causes you to be more stable. But it's a fumbling and blind watchmaker. They have your genetics which can show them which meds might work. But you still have to try them and that takes months. It seriously takes a long time to go up on a given med, see if it works, and go back down. And your goal is just to survive and get through the day while that happens."

"Well, nobody has reported any problems with your teaching ever since you started a new batch. So I don't see that as a problem. I wish you the best of luck in finding the right medication combination."

"Thank you again."

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"You got an extra dorm room?" Ruby asked. "Who is going to want to sleep there? The other two will be snuggling up in this dorm and one other person will be left out in the cold."

"He obviously planned for himself to be the odd one out," Weiss interpreted.

"What?"

"Come on. He meant for us to be together and for himself to be out in the cold."

"That's so like him. I want to pull my hair out."

"It's temporary," I cut in. "Just while you guys find a house you like out in Patch."

"So it's true. You meant for you to be the one out," Ruby glowered.

"Temporarily," I reminded. "Come on. There just isn't room here."

"I don't like it," Ruby said.

"Neither do I," Weiss agreed.

"Then find a house you like fast and buy all the furnishing you want."

"What's our budget look like for that?" Ruby asked.

"Something in the ballpark of two point five million," Weiss informed her. "That leaves plenty for the honeymoon and wedding and a decent amount of savings. Cloud's making something like two hundred thousand a year here."

"Well that should be fine then. We'll have our pick of houses. We can even build one."

"If you want to wait that long," Weiss interjected.

"Oh. That's true. Cloud will insist on being out in the cold that whole time. He's such a goofball."

"I'm right here," I pointed out.

"Ah? So you are," Weiss observed. "But for how long?"

"Um…" I trailed. I looked between them.

"You dumb blonde."

"What am I going to do? Kick one of you two out?"

"We could alternate," Weiss proposed.

"Don't be ridiculous. If I can't alternate spooning you two, you have to see why I have to be the one out in the other dorm. That's life as a guy. I just have to hold that 'l'."

"Goofball."

"But I'm not wrong, am I? I have to be the one out because the alternative is one of you being the one out and that just won't fly."

"And why not?" Weiss pressed.

"You know why not. I can't kick one of my ladies out into the cold. That's not okay with me. I'm very much not alright with it. And you wouldn't have me any other way. That's just the way it goes. You girls get to be warm and cuddled up and I need to find a way to deal with it."

"That's not fair," Ruby disagreed.

"That's my job," I fired right back. "I always automatically get the short straw. That's the price I have to pay for being engaged to two fantastic girls. You two need to accept that. That's about as fair as it gets."

"Ugh. You make me want to hit you," Weiss decided. "But you like it when I hit you."

"You're such a darling. Especially when you hit me. It's like, wow- how can I even cope without you hitting me in that way you do? Hit me some more, Weiss. Just go to town on me. I can take it."

"It means I'm mad at you and I want you to stop."

"Sometimes. Sometimes it means 'that was clever but I know what you did.'"

"We'll have to find a house fast then. And set a date for the wedding. And Cloud and I need to get an engagement present for Weiss and Weiss and I need to get something for Cloud. Oh no, we need to get something for Cloud. What do we do, Weiss?"

"I was hoping you would have ideas…"

"He is hard to get things for because he'll love it no matter what. What are we going to do?"

"Just get me any old thing and I'll be happy that I'm being thought of at all?" I suggested.

"Shut up, Cloud. This is serious," Ruby informed me gravely. "No matter what we do he's going to treasure it."

"That's what I thought about you but we managed to pick something out. None of us like material things like jewelry," Weiss pointed out. "But yes, he's going to be impossible to shop for."

"I'm literally so easy. Just get two rings each of which has your name or signature on it and call it good."

"Ugh," Ruby managed. "He's awful."

"He's the worst," Weiss agreed.

"And yet you two are marrying him. Me. Marrying me. Fucking wild."

"Language," Weiss chidded.

"Butt," Ruby reminded. She thumbed her new necklace. She popped the little latch open and closed as she worried it. It clicked and clacked minutely. "Well I don't know. I have no ideas about what to get for him. This is going to take some serious brain storming. And it can't be his ring idea because that will just gratify him."

"He's seriously horrendous about it. Could you imagine if we actually have to resort to that idea?"

Ruby shuddered.

"What's wrong with the ring idea?" I asked. "I'd love it."

"You suggested it. That's what's wrong with it," Ruby pointed at me with venom. "We can't use it for sure now."

"She's right. We can't. It could have worked but because you came up with it, it just won't fly," Weiss agreed.

"I don't get it. Is this just one of those girl things?"

"No."

"Kinda," Ruby informed me.

Weiss sighed. "We can't let you win."

"So it's a game?"

"No," Ruby informed me.

"A little," Weiss said. But somehow they seemed in total agreement.

"This is super serious," Ruby told me. "We have to make sure our idea is original and good."

"But we can't take your word because no matter what we get you, you will say you like it. And we can't take any idea that comes from you because it has to come from us. So it's kind of a game but it's a fun and serious game. And you keep entrapping us more and more."

"So if I come up with more suggestions-"

"Don't you dare," Weiss warned.

"Got it," I said but I didn't really at all. "I was just trying to make your lives easier."

"We know. But that makes our job all the more difficult," Ruby said. "You'd do anything to make our lives easier. You'd love a crummy gift and cherish it forever. So we have no way of knowing if our idea is any good."

"And you coming up with suggestions just limits the things we can actually do because we have to be the ones to come up with it without your help. It's honestly a little like why you think you always deserve the short straw. It comes from a gentlemanly place but it's frustrating to deal with and we can't even really be mad at you for it because it's gentlemanly. Do you see?"

"A little better now. I'll send you guys a list of suggestions."

"Don't!" Weiss ordered.

"No!" Ruby begged.

"I don't know. I sort of like this strange power I have over you."

"I'll give you head if you don't," Ruby bargained.

"You'd do that anyway. You're such a bottom. You do whatever I tell you in the bedroom."

"Maybe I'll take charge and be in control for once," Ruby threatened. But she was threatening me with a good time.

"Sure. Yeah. Go ahead," I agreed. "Whenever you want, sweetheart."

Ruby's gaze wavered then fell. "You butt."

"Don't bully Ruby. And don't come up with any more suggestions. You basically eliminated our ability to choose rings as a gift at all," Weiss informed me. "Just like that. In one fell swoop you demolished so many possibilities. Don't make our lives any harder by trying to make our job any easier."

"So if I just started listing jewelry items you would be screwed."

"Seriously do not. I'll give you head," Weiss somehow made that sound threatening. "We'll both give you head."

"That would seriously be a good enough engagement gift," I told them both. "Like honestly I don't want anything and time spent with you would be priceless. Weiss could sing for me and I would be like, 'this is enough.' Ruby could look at me with those eyes and it would be a job done for you guys. I really don't want anything more than what I already have."

"We know that too!"

"That's why you're so hard to get a gift for," Weiss explained. "No matter what we do it will be 'good enough,' and you know what? Maybe we want to do better than 'good enough.' But we have no way of knowing if it really is better than 'good enough' because you belong to us so completely that all you really want is a tandem blowjob or the sound of my voice or Ruby's gorgeous eyes. We want it to be more special than that. We want it to be something you carry around and always feel to remind you of us. A blowjob just isn't it. Or Ruby looking at you. Or listening to me sing just won't cut it."

"I think that depends on the blowjob. And therapy costs money but listening to you sing is priceless."

"Aw."

"Flattery will get you nowhere. Don't 'aw' that, Ruby. That's how he gets you. He's just trying to flatter me."

"Yeah. I am," I agreed. "And you can't take that away from me. Because you're my darling and I want to flatter you. I would be honored if you were flattered by me. It would be my special, privileged pleasure."

"You're such an asshole," Weiss decided.

"It's shameless how you flirt with me," I swooned. "Insult me. Hit me. Abuse me. It only shows that you care."

"I can't win with you," Weiss decreed. "No matter what I do you get to walk away from this the victor. I can't reward you. I can't punish you. There's nothing to be done because you take it all in stride."

"You could come give me a hug," I suggested. "Let me scoop you up in my arms and kiss your neck."

"I bet you would like that wouldn't you. I bet you would just love that."

"Yeah. I would. I really would. And so would you. Don't rebel against your desires, Weiss. Would it really be so awful to get swept up into my arms and kissed around the ears."

"You plague me. Just because I told you not to bully Ruby, you harass me instead."

"But you're so adorable when I trap you. It's like when Ruby blushes. I want it so bad. It ought to be criminal how you enslave me. But no, you walk around as a totally free woman to tease and taunt and make me into a dog. That's what is really not fair."

"You give me that power over you. Of your own free will."

"You give me this power over you. You could deny me. You could deny me and shoe me off. But you don't. You like it."

Weiss's cheeks turned rosy and she looked at Ruby for assistance.

"What? I would also like to kiss your neck. I'd like to watch him eat you for lunch. Don't expect me to bail you out. Tell us, Weiss."

Weiss sighed resignedly.

"Look how red she got around her ears," I pointed out to Ruby.

"Careful. You'll melt her, Cloud," Ruby agreed.

"I told him not to bully you and this is how you repay me? You're supposed to have my back," Weiss demanded.

"I do have your back. Just not how you want me to."

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-WG