pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
"So… what do you two think?" I paced through the empty living room of the house. It had stone walls on the outside of the first floor but inside the walls were comfortable red-brown wood. The entryway had marble tiles which led to hardwood floors of the living room.
There was plenty of room for a TV and three couches or so. Then there was a counter sort of like a bar which divided the living room from the kitchen. The house had four bathrooms and seven bedrooms including the master bed and bath.
Weiss walked into the bathroom near the living room and kitchen and checked the water pressure. Ruby looked up at the stars off to one side that went up and around to access four of the smaller bedrooms on the second floor. The other two bedrooms were on the first floor and were on the far side of the kitchen from the master.
The master had two walk-in closets. Three would have been ideal but I really just needed a wardrobe and nothing else. We could slide that into the corner of the master no problem.
The arcing ceiling in the entryway with the stairs led out to a railing where one could look over the edge as they paced along the hallways that led to the upstairs rooms. The rooms were decently sized. Big enough for a small closet and queen bed and a desk for each kid. And there was no real pressure to fill up the house but I knew the numbers of kids Ruby and Weiss had in mind. That's why this house stood out to me on the internet.
The master was big enough for a king and there wasn't a real need for too much else but we could probably fit a couch in there. The garage had room for three cars. I doubted we would ever fill it up but it was possible.
"I like it…" Ruby mumbled. "But I don't really love it."
I nodded along. "But you wanted four and Weiss wanted two. This is one of the few houses large enough that we don't have to double up on rooms for the kids."
"The kitchen seems nice. There's plenty of space out here in the living room. Our bedroom is easily big enough to fit a bed, a desk, and a couch in there. The shower is big enough for three people at once if the people really like one another. It's pretty ideal."
"But you're not in love with it either," I interpreted.
"I could learn to love it," Weiss folded her arms at me.
"Maybe I could too… it just doesn't seem like our house."
"Do you want to buy a lot and have someone build it for us?" I asked. I didn't want Ruby to settle. "You could design the kitchen you wanted. We could order as many rooms as we wanted and make it really nice. It would be expensive. But it really is doable for us."
"I'm not sure I want to wait that long…"
"Just a few months. It could be really nice and exactly how you want. We've looked at dozens of houses and this is the one you seem to like the most but you still don't love it. We could make one that you really do love. I'd hate for you to have to live with a house you don't really, really like. I know you're impatient but we have to wait and do wedding preparations anyways. I hate asking you to wait but is it what you want?"
"I don't know… maybe I am just being impatient. I just want it now. But maybe building one is for the best."
"Whatever you want, Ruby," Weiss agreed with me.
"Don't make me make this decision…"
"I could live here and make it a home," Weiss informed her. "But not if you aren't comfortable with it. And Cloud will do whatever we tell him to. He'd be comfortable in a cardboard box."
"Yeah. Little bit. I could make it cozy," I agreed.
"You could not. What are your preferences?" Ruby demanded. "What do you want for your kids?"
Weiss looked over at me with her arms still folded.
"I... " I trailed for a moment and thought a little. "Plenty of acreage for them to run around… I'd prefer if they didn't have to share rooms. I think it's important that they have private spaces that belong to only them, don't you? And we shouldn't have infants sharing rooms with toddlers and waking one another up in the middle of the night. That would be exhausting for us. With a house like this we could always keep the infants close to us and let the older children be a little further away."
"So you like this house," Weiss translated.
"Or one like it. We could design our own place. I don't mind waiting. It's not something we should rush and our budget is high for something like this."
"Unhelpful," Weiss decided.
"Well, it's the truth… I don't mind waiting and building something we really love. We're waiting on the wedding anyway. We could have our new place be the setting."
"I hate waiting…" Ruby trailed. "I want what I want now."
"But this isn't it, is it?" I pressed.
"It could be…"
"Nobody is rushing you except for you, sweetheart. There's still so much to do."
"Wedding planning and choosing our honeymoon locations. Choosing themes and decorating. Getting dresses. We still haven't set a date and sooner would be better," Weiss listed.
"But we aren't sharing a bed at the moment…" Ruby whined. "Cloud is sleeping away from us. I want to sleep with us all together. One big pile. I've waited long enough. Haven't I?"
"It's just something like ninety days. Time enough to plan the wedding and build a house. We still have to pick out a lot we like."
"I want to start trying for kids already. I want to already be there. I want to already have our house. I want to already be married."
"Sorry Rubes but you have to wait. You have to. We just don't have it together right now."
"We will," Weiss agreed and she walked over and rubbed Ruby's shoulder. "Cloud isn't going anywhere anytime soon. He promised to stay. We have the time to be patient and have everything be right. We can buy a lot and build a place that's our very own. Neither Cloud nor I want you to settle."
"But I'm the one who can't make up my mind…"
"We could compromise." I cut in. "What would you change about this place?"
"Maybe add an annex with an office. Move that counter in the kitchen so we have a bar. Put in an island in the kitchen. Build a third walk in for the master bedroom. Maybe put up a set of swings outside and a balcony on the second floor. Some place we could eat together if we wanted."
"All those things are doable and still probably cheaper than building our own," I pointed out.
"We can renovate and repaint too… if that's okay with you guys. I don't like the colors of some of the bedrooms. Maybe a nice light tan color. A new stove and oven and a separate dining room with the annex we add."
"Oh is that all?" Weiss rolled her eyes. "I think she crossed the line."
"Way too much," I agreed. "How will we manage?"
"Don't tease me. What do you guys think?"
"It's all possible. Nothing you said sounds outlandish. We can make it happen."
"Of course," Weiss agreed. "And even if you want to change a few more things it'll still probably be cheaper than building a place. We can start looking at furniture tomorrow if you like this and want to commit to making those changes."
"Then… it's okay?" Ruby asked.
"Yeah, Rubes. We won't buy a place we aren't all happy with. It just won't happen."
"You can be as picky as you want to be and we'll support you," Weiss informed her. "We won't put it to a vote or something else ridiculous. We wouldn't be happy unless you are happy."
"Let's get it, then. Our very own place! You guys we're going to have a house. Just our own? With our babies!" Ruby ran up to Weiss and put her hands on Weiss shoulder and jumped a little in barely contained excitement.
"I mean… if nothing awf-"
"Shut it Cloud. Those are our babies you're talking about. Nothing bad is going to happen," Weiss ordered. "Let us have the moment, remember?"
"Right. Of course."
"You're still thinking about it, aren't you," Weiss perceived.
"Well, you know… you're not? How are you not?"
"Well I am now. Don't be pessimistic about our children. I'm forbidding it."
"Yeah. Alright. Sure."
"No hiding your head in the clouds either," Ruby continued. "Not about our kids. You need to be positive and have a little faith."
"I'll work on it?" I promised with an upward inflection.
"See that you do. Let's talk to the real estate agent and some construction companies and get some estimates going. And if you're both alright with it I think this could be an excellent location for the wedding," Weiss decided.
"I'm game," I agreed.
"Let's do it," Ruby clapped her hands excitedly. "I can't wait to fill this place up. And we can color coordinate the bedrooms and walk in closets. And I can't wait to pick out the furniture and decorate. It's going to be so much fun. Aren't you excited? Weiss?"
"Not at all," Weiss lied flatly. "It's going to be a lot of work."
"But you're still excited," Ruby saw through it. Weiss rolled her eyes but couldn't help the upturning of her lips. Ruby leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Then she pecked the corner of Weiss's lips. Then Weiss turned into it and kissed her back full on. Ruby hummed in pleasure at the touches and it was soft but I heard Weiss sigh.
"You dolt," Weiss said affectionately. Then she traced a hand through Ruby's wolfish bangs.
"Your dolt," Ruby reminded her with a touch of promise. "You're going to be a wonderful mother. You should just wait and see."
"Me?" Weiss asked with a hint of incredulity. "You're going to be the super mom. Baking cookies and putting out fires."
"Wait and see," Ruby repeated.
"You had both better be super good moms with as many kids as you're planning to have. You want to fill this house up, you better mean it."
"And you'll be what? Chopped liver?" Weiss wondered.
"Pretty much," I answered.
"You'll surprise yourself," Ruby threatened. "You always do."
"Six. You want me to father six kids. I'm going to drown. You're going to watch me drown and you know what? You'll have a blast doing it."
"I'm not saying you won't struggle. I'm guaranteeing that you'll struggle at least some of the time. I'm just saying that you will shock you. You always underestimate yourself but you're empathetic and passionate and kind. You'll handle it and we'll be there to help you," Ruby promised.
"I'm going to need it… who will save me from you during your pregnancies."
"You'll just have to manage," Weiss dismissed. "Two women love you and want your kids. Oh, woe is you. How will you possibly survive?"
"We'll see how that goes nine months from our honeymoon and I'm struggling to look after you both. And then you seem to imply that you'll want to do it again. Even with two already here. And Ruby will want to do it two more times."
"Yeah that's a lot," Weiss turned back to Ruby. "You're serious about having four?"
"I always wanted four…" Ruby mumbled adorably. She looked over at me with her lovely eyes and I sighed and knew I would have to give in. I didn't have the strength to look at her and tell her 'no.'
"I suppose I'll have to step up," I sighed.
"I suppose you will," Weiss agreed. "I'm sure you'll find a way to deal and to manage. You'll survive the first round of pregnancies."
"And the second?" I wondered. "What the fuck is going to happen to me when you're both pregnant and there are already two kids here?"
"I don't know," Weiss intoned without mercy. "We'll find out. Don't be a baby. You'll probably make it."
"Probably?" I asked. "I'm going to go down. I'm going to sink and you're going to watch with a little smirk on your face."
Weiss gave me a little smile and Ruby grinned up at me.
"Yeah. Probably like that," I indicated.
"Take care of me…" Ruby whined. Like I had any other choice. Like I didn't already have one foot in my grave. Of course I was going to take care of her. I was going to do my best for them both. It really wasn't a matter of my ability to choose. They enslaved me. Then they had the absolute audacity to act like they didn't fucking own me. I mean, it would be one thing if all they did was possess me. But then they had to act like I wasn't eclipsed by them. That was insufferable. They acted like they had no idea what they really did to me. That was the part that drove me mad. They knew. They had to know. They had to have some idea of what that little smirk and broad smile did to my heart in my chest.
It wasn't fair.
I couldn't just give them a look and have them do whatever I wanted. They seized me by the heart and made me dance like a puppet. And I liked it. Maybe I truly was mad. Only a madman would love and cherish his chains and bindings. I was an empty vessel and I could only be filled by them. And they were merciless.
There was no quarter from their little smiles and sighs. They could at least fess up to it. They could at least not beat around the bush with how they owned me. But they still acted like I was free and not chained to them. My bondage was tight and all encompassing. A smirk. A grin. A gaze of silver or blue. The sound of their voices in the clear air. What was I to do? How was I supposed to escape? How was I supposed to even want to escape? And then they pranced about like they didn't have me tied up in strings. It was as though they were mocking me with their freedom. But I didn't want to be free. That was the sickest most twisted part of myself. I liked it. I'd killed for so much less. I'd been willing to die for so little.
It was more than my poor old heart could really bear. It filled me to bursting yet it never actually killed me.
pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
-WG
