There were very few things that had accomplished the feat of making Bakugo Amari speechless. It had only happened a handful of times in her life, the girl usually sharing the explosive personality of her twin more times than not. Call it a negative or positive trait but she always seemed to have something to say, yet somehow this wasn't one of those times.
Because staring now at the boy she loved, Amari was in fact speechless.
Her lips suddenly ran dry as Todoroki stared back at her, equally stunned, now taking in her blood soaked clothes, her hollow expression and her lack of speech. It was as if his mind hadn't fully processed the sight before him, and it was the same for Bakugo as well.
Why, why did it have to be him?! Why did he have to see her like this?! If it was anyone else, if anyone else had walked through that door then Amari knew she would have kept it together. But him, she always seemed to fall apart when it came to him. "S-Shoto?"
Her voice sounded foreign, unlike her own as the girl's brain tried to piece together this reality, a reality that was crashing down around her all at once. "H-How, h-how you are here.."
After noticing her shake on each word, Todoroki woke up from his trance, choosing to answer that question as it was the easiest to process right now. "My old man called, he said I had to come home..that something had happened..."
The boy's voice sounded equally robotic, causing Amari's eyes to fall slowly before placing her head in her hands. She didn't want him to see her like this, so broken, so fragile. It would surely worry him. "W-Why..why are you here..why did it have to be you...why?!"
Her utter and complete distress slammed into Todoroki all at once, taking a step closer as he noticed her own shaking hands. He wanted to help her, but was unsure on what exactly was going on, trying to tread lightly. "Why do you say that?"
He watched her pause for a moment before slowly lifting her head as the boy saw her eyes glisten with tears, utterly and completely destroyed. "B-Because...because I can't lie to you...because with you I can't...I can't lie to myself anymore…"
Todoroki's eyes fell on each word, his chest twisting in pain as he looked down at the girl he loved, the girl that was now completely broken. What had happened, and why hadn't he been there? Why did he turn away from her when she needed him most? "Amari, I…."
Yet the girl seemed too far gone, speaking once again as she cried, pouring out everything that was plaguing her mind from the past couple days . "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not being able to tell you the truth, I'm sorry to have you think that I doubted our relationship. It's all my fault, I know that..I do..but I'm just...so scared.."
Taking in her words, the boy could see that she was losing herself and unraveling by the second, getting lost in her own panic attack as she continued. "I'm scared Shoto, I'm so scared...I'm scared of everything and I...don't know what to do.…"
A choked sob escaped her throat as Todoroki raced forward without a second thought, now grabbing the poor shaking girl under his arms and holding onto her for dear life. He didn't know what had happened, but was terrified to see her in such a state. "Shhh it's okay, it's okay."
Yet the girl only shook her head under his warmth, locking her trembling arms around his waist and smearing the blood on his own shirt. "No, no it's not okay. Nothing is okay."
Twisting his own brow in pain, Todoroki immediately shook his head, his eyes squeezed tight as he recalled their argument. She was still trying to be so strong around him, still trying to do so much, and that broke his heart.
He then lowered his head down before humming in her ear slowly. "Yes, it is. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not know what to do, it's okay to cry. Go ahead and let it out, I'm right here..."
The boy felt her hand tighten on his clothes then, her voice raspy. "I can't, you've already dealt with so much. I don't..I don't want to cause you trouble..I don't want you to experience anymore pain so I can't..."
Although she was stopped then Todoroki ran a couple fingers through her hair, coaxing her to calm down silently. He didn't know what to say but her statements couldn't help but sound utterly familiar to him. "Do you remember what I told you in the infirmary last year when you said the exact same thing?"
Not fully understanding, he replied a moment later, feeling slightly nostalgic from the words. "Seems like you'll always cause me trouble. That's what I agreed to after all."
Amari's eyes couldn't help widened at that, now remembering what he was talking about almost immediately.
Back then, she had twisted her ankle after combat training and Todoroki had checked up on her only for the girl to grab onto him in her sleep. Thinking back now, she was still embarrassed about that.
She was taken out of her thoughts as Todoroki pushed her even closer before planting a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Silly girl, I've already agreed to this, do you not remember? On the day you asked to become friends, I knew you'd cause me trouble for years to come."
His lips lingered for a moment before repeating the action a second time, showing her that he was in fact, not going anywhere. "You can always tell me anything Amari, if you need to cry then I will lend you my shoulder, if you need to scream then I'll listen, if you don't know what to do then we will figure it out. When will you realize that you're not on your own, you've never been...it's okay...it's okay to be afraid…"
His words hit her hard, causing Bakugo's eyes to fill up with tears before lifting her head up to look at the very familiar monochrome eyes she had come to love. Why was he being so kind to her after everything? Why was he still holding her after she withheld information? He was too kind to her, she didn't deserve it.
Twisting her brow down, Amari blinked away her tears before speaking once again, her voice cracked and uncertain. She couldn't hide from him anymore, she just couldn't. "Y-You're right, there are things I haven't told you yet. I'm..I'm sorry.."
Already knowing that though, the boy only nodded his head, quieting down her apologies and staring at her blood soaked clothes. "It's alright, you can tell me now. What happened to you?
There was a hard silence then, causing Bakugo's eyes to fall immediately. "I..I..I killed someone."
Todoroki's eyes widened at that, his grip loosening on her arms just slightly. He must have heard wrong, he had to have heard wrong. "W-What?"
Suddenly a flash of Kazumi's lifeless eyes reached her mind, his shaking arms grasping her shoulder just like Todoroki was doing now, it was too much, she couldn't take it.
So much so that the girl pushed the boy away before turning away in utter fear. "I can still feel it...his blood on my hands...it won't go away...why won't it go away?! I didn't want it..I didn't want it to be this way...!"
Staring at her hands robotically Todoroki had no choice but to let her continue, her breathing more shallow than before. "I had the chance to talk to him...to make everything right..but I didn't..I didn't and now it's my fault...All For One got to him..he hurt him...I hurt him…"
She was stopped by the strangling sob, putting her hands back up to her face to hide them from the world. Why did it have to be like this, why did people have to suffer because of her? She hated it, she hated it so much.
Todoroki on the other hand was speechless, taking in her broken appearance, absolutely lost on what to do. He wanted to comfort her, to reassure her, but what was there to say in this type of situation, what could he even do?
From her description it seemed like she was forced into this decision somehow, and he already had a guess on who it was. From the look on her face and he already knew All for One must have been involved somehow "Amari…"
Another sob escaped her throat then as Todoroki quietly approached her once more, slowly moving his hand to touch her shoulder. "Amari, look at me."
Yet she only shook her head, her voice breaking after each word. She didn't want to look up, to see the disappointment in his eyes, to hear the disgust for what she had done. She was a monster, he shouldn't even be touching her. "N-No, I can't…"
Frowning, Todoroki then reached up before touching her hands lightly, his voice warm and incredibly gentle. "Yes, you can. It's alright. You're safe, no one is going to hurt you. I'm right here Amari, just like I've always been."
She felt his tone, so reassuring and smooth, as he placed his hands over hers. It was so inviting, now feeling the overwhelming desire to uncover her eyes, to show him everything she was trying to keep from him. Yes, Bakugo was still terrified, but the warmth in his tone made her falter, just like back at the sports festival. He always seemed to do that.
And it didn't lessen when he spoke again, his breath only a couple inches away from her trembling form. "Now, let me see, let me see all of you. No more walls, no more hiding. Look at me, I'm right here."
There were a couple moments of silence before Todoroki felt her grip loosen on her eyes just slightly, only to push them down a second later, utterly lost and destroyed. She wanted nothing more than to believe his words, to be comforted and loved, even if she didn't deserve it.
Forcing herself to look up into that familiar monochrome gaze, she let him see her devastation, the tears pouring down before she could even process them. "S-Shoto.."
Todoroki's eyes crumbled in unknown pain before immediately wrapping his arms around her, pulling the broken girl close to him as she cried. "It's okay, it's okay. Let it out.."
And she did, crying until her own voice was hoarse as she clung onto him for dear life. It terrified him but Todoroki was also relieved that she was finally opening up to him and showing him her scars. It was a double edged sword, but he was thankful for it in a way.
It was seemingly forever before she spoke again, raspy from all her crying. "I'm such an idiot. I walked right into their trap. It's my fault…"
She was being incredibly vague, causing the boy to quickly speak over her. He needed to know, he needed to know what monster made her do such a thing. "Who made you do this?"
Recalling a familiar pair of crimson wings, she couldn't help but close her eyes in pain. "Hawks and Dabi. I thought Hawks cared about me but they ended up luring me to a warehouse and forced me to choose between that boy and myself. I had to...if I didn't then he would've ended up like me…"
Her tone was robotic, almost like she was tumbling out the events without really thinking about them. Todoroki soon realizes that it must be another coping strategy for her.
He had only met Hawks once but Todoroki couldn't help but feel a hard ball of rage appear after hearing about how he manipulated the girl he loved, only because she was an easy target. That bastard, he better never see him again.
Although that's when his brain caught on something particular, his tongue catching on to specific a word, or rather name. He couldn't help but feel betrayed because of it. "You went with Dabi again, why?"
Todoroki then watched as Bakugo closed her eyes for a moment, almost contemplating her response before speaking. She couldn't tell him about Toya, but she couldn't lie to him anymore either.
Call it selfish but she didn't have the heart or strength anymore. "This may seem strange, but since I was kidnapped I've noticed something about him...I don't think he's a villain...not fully…"
Well that, among other things but unfortunately that's all Amari could tell Todoroki right now. It was up to Dabi to tell him the rest someday.
Rightly so, the boy looked completely and utterly confused with her explanation, trying to piece together the information he did have. "You're trying to reform him? Amari, come on I don't think that's possible. He's killed people…"
Yet she only lowered her eyes, the monotone in her voice shocking him immediately. "So have I. Do you think I am a villain?"
Widening his eyes, Todoroki immediately denied himself. "What, of course not. How could you even say something like that? You two are not the same."
Although Amari immediately knew that wasn't true. She knew first hand how similar the two of them were. If only he knew that. "You'd be surprised, and perhaps it's a lost cause, but I have to try. I just have to.."
Todoroki didn't know why she was trying so hard for those villains, but the amount of passion in her eyes couldn't be ignored. It was obvious that she had some kind of drive to complete this impossible goal.
And as much as he wanted to continue to grill her on that, there were more important matters to take care of right now, like her bloody clothes. "You didn't have a choice, did you? They made you.."
Nodding back, the boy's stance crumbled before squeezing her body tightly. He couldn't even imagine the amount of grief and devastation she was going through right now. It was like she couldn't catch a break, only falling further and further, deeper into despair.
Amari nuzzled herself into his warmth, still feeling rather hollow about the entire situation, although his arms seemed to bring him at least a moment of comfort. "You're not disgusted?"
Almost immediately, the boy's arms tightened once more. "I understand how those villains can be, what they can make you do. I'm sorry Amari. If only I was there...if only I could've helped.."
The girl only frowned though, slightly feeling lucky that he wasn't there in that horrible moment. "I'm glad you didn't. I didn't want you to see me like that...I never want you to see me like that…"
And the boy seemed to understand that, remaining silent as he began to rub small circles on her back into order to offer a moment of comfort. "Is there anything else you want to tell me? It's okay, I'm listening.."
It was almost as if he had read her mind, staring back at him with devastation. He was right, she was hiding something else from him, and it was eating her alive.
She was silent for a moment, almost like she was contemplating on whether to tell him the truth or not, her tone lowering sadly. "Before Sir Nighteye passed away, he told me something, something about my future…"
Todoroki remained quiet although after another bit of silence the boy started to think the worst. What was she holding this entire time, what was she so afraid of? He needed to know, no matter how much it hurt him.
Shaking her head, Amari then broke eye contact as she finished, scared to see his devastated eyes. "He said that if I face All for One again, that I won't survive."
The boy felt his own heart plummeted into his chest at that, each word slapping him across the face all at once. After all this time, after an entire year she was still trying to run from her own death? First the pills and now this? It was cruel, it was so incredibly cruel for both of them.
She was happy and he had finally found someone to love, to cherish. It couldn't be gone like that. It just couldn't. He refused, he would make sure of it. "W-What..?"
Bakugo felt his arms loosen from her body in shock, Todoroki immediately trying to make sense of the situation. "You said that's only true "if" you face him. So, in order to keep you alive we just have to make sure you never meet. That's all."
Although even Amari knew that his plan wasn't possible, her lips twisted together in pain. "It's not that easy Shoto. He's...he's been sending me messages. He knows I can't run forever…"
That came to another reality for Todoroki, shaking his head and not believing her words in order to keep it together.. "Yes you can. I'll make sure you do, because you are not giving up that easily. I won't let you."
He was panicking, Amari could easily tell, her eyes falling slightly at the sight. "Shoto, it's inevitable. I'm going to have to face him someday, and when that happens I..."
Although the boy immediately cut her off, slightly angry for what she was suggesting. "Don't even finish that sentence. Is this what you want? What about being a hero, what about your future? You can't just give up.."
Balling her hands into fists, Bakugo replied roughly. "Do you think I wanna die? I want a future, I want to open an agency with Katsuki, I want to get my license but what if, what if that's not possible? I have to be logical here, I have to be realistic. That's what I've always done, you know that."
He did know that, he knew how she never sugarcoated her fate, even back then. It was like some kind of coping mechanism for her, and he utterly hated it. It was like she had already accepted this. "Sir Nighteye could be wrong…"
Yet once again, Bakugo shook her head. "He hasn't been wrong before."
And that utterly crushed his heart, knowing that the possibility of Amari's death was most likely already set in stone, his eyes falling in despair as tears lined the corners. "No.."
Shaking his head once, the boy continued sadly, the liquid falling onto his cheeks now in a single line. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to. " It's, it's just cruel."
Nodding back sadly, the girl placed her still shaking hands on his head before trying to calm him down before herself. She hated seeing him cry more than anything, now rethinking her decision to tell him all of this.
She patted the surface once before replying gently. "I know, I know it's cruel for you. I'm sorry, if I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have tortured you like this. That's why I didn't want to tell you..."
Todoroki's brow turned down at that though before reaching forward to wrap her into his embrace once more, his tone far more annoyed and on edge than before. "Stop thinking about me, that's not what I meant. Of course I want to know this, I want to know anything that hurts you Amari."
His voice lowered then, sadness clearly evident. "I meant that it's cruel for you."
Amari couldn't help but widen her eyes as Todoroki pushed her body closer to his, holding onto her like she was going to disappear in a moment. "Why, why does it have to be like this? Just when you're told you can live, the universe takes it away. It's not fair, it's cruel."
She felt his own arms shake now as well, causing Bakugo to close her eyes in devastation, now clinging to the boy all at once.
She hated it, she hated being the cause of so much pain for him but she was too selfish to walk away. It was too late now, Amari was already utterly attached to him. "I know...I know it is…"
A hard moment of silence passed through them after that, taking in each other's sorrow as Amari thought about her cruel reality that Todoroki had described. She always said that she never wanted him to be ruined because of her, but it seemed like that was impossible now.
From the way he was crying to the death grip the boy had to her shoulder in his moment, Amari knew that he would indeed be ruined by her death, and that broke her entirely. "I'm sorry Shoto, I'm sorry…"
He only clung even tighter at that, causing more tears to spill out from under her eyes. "S-Shoto, just promise me that if this happens, you'll be okay…"
That seemed to wake the boy up, Todoroki's red eyes staring back at her in disbelief. "No, we are not having this conversation. You are going to live. I will make sure of it, no matter what I have to do. All for One is not going to take you from me. I won't let him."
His words had a sense of passion to them, causing Amari to recall the rest of Sir Nighteye's prophecy. Forgive me Shoto, but I can't tell you about the sacrifice. You have to be safe, you just have to be. You are the most important thing to me, I hope you understand.
And although Bakugo knew that her words were indeed pointless, she still said them anyway, hoping that they could actually come true. "Yeah, I won't let him take me either. I'll fight with everything I have Shoto."
It seemed her declaration brought some life back into his eyes finally, Todoroki blinking away his own tears. "Good. Remember our promise?"
Nodding back, Amari knew their promise almost immediately, voicing the words like a mantra in her mind. "Yeah, No matter what, I'll always come back to you."
A sad smile appeared on his lips then, causing the boy to lean down and kiss her forehead lightly, hoping to be enough to keep her here forever. "That's right."
Closing her eyes at the sensation, the girl took in his warmth before wearing a sad smile of her own. She forced herself to recall everything about his moment, everything that might possibly be gone in the future. If she did die, then she wanted to remember this scene exactly, him loving her, her feeling safe.
It was so relaxing that Amari started to feel drowsy, Todoroki feeling her weight push into him all at once. He looked down in concern only to feel her soft intake of breath. "Amari?"
He lowered his eyes then before trailing a finger across her cheek lovingly, staring back at the girl he loved with sadness. He was happy that she was finally opening up to him but the information Amari had just given him was disheartening to say the least.
Todoroki loved her, he loved her so much and yet it seemed that everything and everyone was trying to take her away from him. Back when they first met, he was very aware of her time limit, but learning about it now, he couldn't help but feel destroyed all over again.
Vowing to protect her, he began to gather her in his arms as Fuyumi rounded the corner, her expression equally worried for the girl. "Dad cleaned the guest room for her."
He nodded his head before lifting Amari off the floor, the girl nuzzling into his chest sleepily as he did so before heading to the location that his sister had instructed. "Thank you Fuyumi."
Entering the room, Todoroki then undid the covers before gently placing her into the bed and covering her body with the closest blanket, planting a kiss on her forehead lightly.
Although just as he turned away, the boy was stopped as Bakugo's arm reached out, clinging to his shirt in her half asleep slumber. It was just like that day in the infirmary when she reached out to him. So much had changed since then, yet he could still see the remnants of the carefree girl she once was.
Except this time, instead of her usual silence, it came with a slight mumble, her tone sad. "Don't leave.."
Letting his eyes fall, Todoroki looked down at her hand before placing his own up to her forehead lovingly, silently telling her that he wasn't going to anyone. He couldn't, not after the information he had learned. "Of course not. I would never leave you.."
Just then, he heard the door open across from them only to lay eyes on his father, a bundle of clothes in his arms as he leaned across the doorframe.
Todoroki remained silent as he spoke, plain and simple. "Give these to her. They are some of Fuyumi's old clothes for when she wakes up."
Throwing the clothes onto the bed roughly, the two just stood there, unsure how to even converse with each other. In that moment, all of the past rushed back to him suddenly and Todoroki couldn't help but glare back silently.
Endeavor seemed to have gotten the message though, already moving to to turn away when Todoroki spoke again, small and plain. "Wait.."
And he did indeed wait, now turning back around to see his son at war with himself. It took a couple more minutes for him to finally reply. "Is what she said really true, did she really kill someone?"
The man was silent for a moment before sighing roughly. "Bakugo has been through a lot, so it wouldn't surprise me.. She seems to think it's true, so I suppose it is. I'll check into it tomorrow to be sure."
Letting his eyes fall, Todoroki then began to question his father. "Why did you call me? It's not like you to care so much."
Endeavor only sighed though, glancing towards Amari before replying. "I thought you wanted to know. That's all. Besides, that child looked broken. She needed someone."
And that was strange to say the least, especially to the boy. Throughout his entire life, Todoroki had never seen his father show concern for anyone other than himself. Even when he was passed out and crying from his training, Endeavor never showed compassion or sympathy, not once.
So he certainly had to look twice, now very clearly seeing a sense of worry behind the man's eyes, almost like he cared for Amari. It was odd to say the least, and the son didn't know how to take it, he also certainly didn't know what to say towards it either.
Recalling her tear stained face, Todoroki's father waved his own comment away before continuing. "Also I've revoked her training with that bird brain idiot. I'll be taking back over for her provisional license."
This caused the boy to raise an eye, seeing something wrong with his sentence. He didn't really care about his father's schedule, but if it would affect Amari then he needed to know. "Will you have the time, being number one and all? You better not neglect her. She trusts you."
Todoroki then watched as his father's eyes dropped, almost in shame at the boy's tone. Wait, why did he look like that, why did he look so sad when he said that Amari trusted him? Could it be because no one else trusted him in that why? Maybe he felt like he didn't deserve that trust. Whatever it was, the boy couldn't figure it out.
Although what Todoroki didn't know is that Endeavor felt partly responsible for the events that happened a couple hours ago. He knew that Hawks was shady. In fact, he had his concerns about letting Bakugo train with him, but the man never acted on it.
Because of the influx of calls and concerns with being number one, Endeavor just assumed that it would be alright. How wrong he was about that.
If he just paid a bit more attention, if he had taken time out of his schedule for her to train instead of passing her off, then maybe this wouldn't have happened, maybe her heart wouldn't have been broken again.
He couldn't help but think that even now, seeing the bruises and cuts along her face. It was just like the past, neglecting and being ignorant to those around him. He hated it. Bakugo trusted him alright, and he wasn't there for her when it mattered. That's what hurt the most.
Glancing towards the girl, Endeavor's brow lowered before replying back a moment later, his tone serious and plain. "I'll make time."
And for some strange reason, Todoroki believed him. Maybe it was the look in his eyes, staring at Amari with such sadness and regret, he didn't know. "She has to pass her exam. She needs something to look forward to, a future to believe in.."
It broke his heart but Endeavor knew his son was right, only crossing his arms in an invisible challenge. Yes, that girl needed to have a future, she needed to get out of this terrible cycle before it destroyed her. "You underestimate me Shoto. My trainee will not fail. I won't allow it."
His passion was enough for Todoroki to nod silently, now placing a couple fingers to Amari's cheek before smiling sadly. He hated to ask this of his father but the boy was out of options, knowing that she would be with Endeavor a lot in the next couple months. "Please take care of her, she's everything to me."
Endeavor took in his son's pleading tone before scoffing roughly, a frown upon his face. "I don't recall being a babysitter Shoto."
Already feeling his lips turn down into a frown, he was just about to return his rude remark when his father spoke again, this time with an air of care to it. "That child is an idiot but she's not hopeless. If I've learned one thing since working with her it's that she won't break that easily."
Widening his eyes in surprise, he then turned only for Endeavor to mutter under his breath. "She's a pain, but All for One is a fool if he thinks he can easily burn out that stubborn spark she has. As much as I hate it, that trait she has is as admirable as it is stupid."
It almost sounded like he was praising her, causing Todoroki to stare at his father in disbelief. For so many years he had only seen Endeavor as selfish, cruel and a monster. That's always how he knew him.
But standing here now, this man didn't look monstrous at all. No, he looked human.
No matter how much he disliked his father for the past, the boy couldn't help but soften his eyes at those words, quietly tucking in Amari further without another word.
Then he planted one last kiss before moving towards the door, Endeavor clearing a path for his son to get through. The man wasn't expecting anything from his son, knowing about his clear mistakes and accepting them. That's right, Shoto hated him, and rightly so.
Although, he couldn't help but notice Todoroki stop in the doorway, an unreadable expression on his face as he stared towards the ground. It seemed like he was at war with himself for some reason, unsure and silent.
It took a couple moments, but when the boy finally spoke, it was small and muttered, causing Endeavor to widen his eyes all at once. "Thank you."
Not fully understanding, the man went to open his mouth when Todoroki continued, the glare still present on his face. Although this time, it was now mixed with slight uncertainty. "For looking out for her, thank you."
Then he twisted his brow down before narrowing his eyes just slightly. It was like he couldn't believe he was saying his next words. "And I'm sorry, for thinking you were trying to use her. I was wrong about that."
Endeavor stood shocked at his son's confession, not knowing how to respond when Todoroki left without another word, retreating back to his room quietly and without a sound.
Even after he left, the man couldn't help remain frozen, replaying his son's words in the back of his mind on repeat. Had he really just apologized to him? No, that was impossible. It couldn't be. It was too good to be true.
Shoto had never even spoken that softly to him before, never mind apologize. It was new, and Endeavor didn't know how to take it.
So much so that he couldn't help but place a hand to his chest a moment after, feeling a sudden wave of emotion from the action.
Perhaps there was hope for the two of them after all.
Not gonna lie, I love writing Endeavor in this fanfic. His slow character development into being a better person and realizing his mistakes is just AHHH so good. Endeavor is such a tough character so I really wanted to make his reformation justified.
Also I just read the entire book over to prepare for this chapter (cause it has themes and dialogue from previous seasons.) and he has come so far from Amari and his first encounter. It looks like she is changing that family, very slowly.
Also poor Amari and Todoroki. Their romance is so tragic. We just have to wait and see how that plays out.
Next Chapter: Sad Hawks is sad and we got more angst of course
