So... For some strange reason, people say I'm smart.

The thing is, I have no idea why! I mean, building perpetual motion machines, acing all my classes, graduating at the top of my class with full marks, no student debt, earning several grants for whatever I want to do, and having a slight interest in science doesn't make you smart. Being smart involves... I dunno... effort? And if there's one thing I don't have, it's effort. I'm a couch potato, one that just tinkers with wires while I'm watching tv. If you want the 'smart' Pines twin, you should see the other one.

Sure... Stanley might not get the best grades, but he tries. Well... tried. I don't know what he's doing right now. I've tried contacting him, but it's been difficult now that I don't see him anymore. He's off, being successful I hope. He'll be successful. He's Stanley! I've never met a harder and more honest worker than him! He'll do fine on his own! Just like I am!

Oh, by the way, you can just ignore the fire from behind me. It was an incident with the portal. It's under control now. ...Probably. Right Fidds? ...Fiddleford'll handle it.

Who am I? you might be wondering. Well, to be honest, half the time I don't know. Every now and then I wake up and think, "Wait. What am I doing here again?" and you would believe how long it takes me to remember that my name is Stanford Pines, and I am researching the astonishing anomalies of a small town in Oregon. Gravity Rises. I should probably see a doctor about that.

Honestly, Quinton Trembley was weird. Who names a town 'Gravity Rises'? Gravity doesn't rise! It falls! And there's a waterfall here. Nice, tall falls, perfect for actually naming things. But no... the eight and a halfth president of the United States just had to be crazy. But it's okay, we're doing better now. At least that what everyone tells me.

Anyway... are you hungry? It's almost dinnertime, and Fiddleford and I are having pancakes. Care to join us?


Mabel rubbed her head, her eyes blinking open in the darkness, which left her practically blind after that large flash of light that had followed the end of the timer on the portal. Her breathing grew easier, and her headache pulsed slightly before diminishing exponentially. The one thing she could see was the center of the portal, which was still as bright as before, and seemed to be more of an energy curtain than the vortex it had been earlier.

A pit of bitterness crept up on her as she glanced over at her brother, who was pushing himself to his feet. She was going to say something to Dipper, but then she saw a silhouette coming from the inside of the portal. She blinked, felt incredibly confused, then asked, "Who is that? Where did he come..."

"The Author of the Journals," Stan said, in his even, calculating voice. "My brother." Mabel felt her jaw drop, her breath hitched in her throat. The Author, who had reached down and picked up one of the Journals while Mabel was blinking profusely at him, looked up at Stan. He took his black mask off, and what Mabel saw was someone that she was not expecting.

"Stanley!" He shouted, a grin spreading across his grim features. He had a scar that ran across the right side of his face, leaving that eye a paler blue than his other one, and obviously blind. He dashed towards him, "After all these years!" Mabel watched the Author fling his arms out wide, like he was going to give Stan a hug, and wished that he was dashing towards her. It was the Author! The actual Author! Did her hair look good? Was she wearing the right kind of clothes? Did he expect...

Before the Author could actually fling his arms around his brother, Stan took a step back, turned slightly to the left, and swung his fist into the Author's face. The Author gasped, jerked back, and let out a small shout. "OW! Stanley!? What the..."

"That was for nearly dying!" Stan yelled, crossing his arms and glaring at his brother, who looked back at him and rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh. Like you didn't. Thanks for restarting the portal and bringing me back." the Author said, crossing his arms and glaring at Stan, who huffed and replied, "Well, you're not welcome. I only did it out of moral responsibility."

The Author sighed, then said, "Whatever Stanley. Oh look! Children!" His grin returned, looking over at Mabel and Dipper (he was looking at her... and smiling... oh man...), "And who might you two be?"

"I'm Dipper!" Dipper said, stepping towards him and grinning just as widely at him. "Is your chin okay?" The Author nodded, and knelt in front of Dipper, extending a hand out towards him and having Dipper shake it. "It's fine. Stan has hit it harder than that before." he smiled at the boy, who stared at his right eye. "Whoa... You're even awesomer than Mabel thought," he said, and the Author laughed. "Thank you. Uh... Who is Mabel?"

"I'm Mabel!" Mabel squeaked out, stiffening as soon as the Author looked over at her. She felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. "I'm... Mabel... You... Author..." The Author laughed, releasing Dipper's hand, and pushing himself back to his full height. He stepped over to Mabel, who stared up at his face. "A pleasure to meet you Mabel, I'm Ford."

Mabel felt her breath hitch in her throat. The Author, Ford, was so close to her. She could see how tall and handsome he was. She reached into her jacket nervously, and pulled out the third Journal, clutching it tightly in her hands. "I... You... We... Us..." she stammered, and Ford smiled. "Yes, us."

Stan walked over and glared at his brother, who practically could feel him, and glanced over at him. "That's enough Ford, you're gonna make Mabel have a heart attack." Dipper nodded, cementing the fact. "Yeah, she's had a crush on you pretty much all of the summer. 'Author this, Author that, when I meet the Author...' She's been a bit obsessed."

Ford struggled to find words for a moment. He stammered his way through all five vowel sounds, then said, "Well... Uh... that's gonna change." Stan nodded, "Yeah, we're not in Alabama here." Ford looked over at him with a look of shock. "I was speaking about her age. And the fact that... Well... Stanley, what do you care about..? You just... What?" Stan chuckled, then said, "Well, she's sort of our niece."

"Niece?! I have a niece? And nephew?" Ford asked, his smile returning, looking brighter and wider than before. "Whoa... that's... What? That's amazing!" He looked over at Stan, who smiled a tiny bit and said, "Yeah, it is. They're Shermie's grandkids."

"Who?" Ford blinked at his brother, his niece's crush on him momentarily forgotten. Stan blinked right back, then said, "Shermie. Sherman? Sher..." He slowed down a bit and added, "Alarm clock."

"Ooooohhh..." Ford said, nodding, "Now I remember... Every morning." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and adding. "Six-thirty." Stan nodded, smiling at him again, "Yup. Kid grew up, got a girl, had a kid, and these are that kid's kids." He motioned towards Dipper and Mabel, Dipper puffing his chest out, and Mabel shrinking back a bit. Ford smiled at her, and she blushed harder than Stan had ever seen her.

There was a moment of awkward silence, then Ford said, "So... I'm guessing legwarmers aren't in fashion anymore?"


Stan didn't know what he was doing.

That was basically the motto of his life. No matter how hard he tried (and believe me, he had tried) he just didn't have that raw knowledge. His entire life he'd been trying to absorb all the information he could, but every time he thought he knew something it just... vanished. Hence all of his terrible grades, failed relationships, and lawsuits hanging over his head.

It wasn't fair! Ford barely even cracked the textbook open, skimmed two or three pages, and could teach a college course on the subject! How did he do it?! What was his secret? Did it lie in his sixth finger? His abnormality? Was it just something about his 'freakish' nature that made him just know stuff? Why couldn't Stan do what Ford did?

For goodness sake! Ford spent the majority of his time doodling and watching television! How did he always get the best grades, and ace the classes? What was his formula? Was it all the smile dip he ate? Was it the excessive amounts of sugar that pulsed through his veins? What did he do to get this far ahead? Could he really be going to West Coast Tech on his raw Fordness alone, while Stan, the one who actually put effort into his life just cleaned barnacles off of saltwater taffy machines?

The answer was no. Ford wasn't going to go to West Coast Tech, because of Stan. He hadn't meant to destroy his project (anyone who knew Stan knew he wouldn't do that). Ford wasn't even that upset, he just thought that living near a beach would be cool (even though he already did). He had come home, casually mentioned how he didn't get the scholarship, and it was up to Stan to admit that he had accidentally broken the machine. Ford shrugged, said it wasn't a big deal, and then Filbrick caught wind of it.

Well, Ford wasn't too beat up about his machine, but he definitely seemed sad to see Stan leaving. And if his semi-crazed shouts were any indication, he wouldn't be leaving his room for several days. Stan felt sort of happy that his brother at least tried to... uh... do something. It was good to see Ford try to do something. Even if it did amount to nothing.

Time to get working then. Working on what though? Stan didn't know. He never knew. Ford always knew what he was doing. Stan just... didn't.


"So... What have you been doing these past... forty years?" Ford was, in the simplest way Stan could put it, still Ford. Same family loving goofball that Stan remembered from his childhood, oh so long ago. And Ford still held his natural charm that Stan seemed to have been born without. He was leaning towards Stan, his eyes bright, not seeming to notice the fact that's Stan's kept on getting drawn towards his right one.

"Oh... Uh..." Stan said, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's not important. Listen, Ford, I don't exactly know how to say this..." Ford tilted his head, raising his eyebrows and nodding. "But... Uh... I didn't bring you back just to spend time with you. I've got my secrets, and you got yours. Why don't... we just go our separate ways."

Ford froze completely. His mouth opened widely, and his eyes blinked quickly. After about thirty seconds he finally stammered out, "You... Don't want... You don't care..." His eyes closed and Stan fidgeted awkwardly. "Yeah..." He said, and Ford gawked at him. "You... You... Fine!" Ford threw his arms in the air, an angry looked crossing over his features. "Have it your way! You know what, if you want to get away from me... just do it! You can leave!" He motioned towards the door, and Stan glared over at it. "You can get out of my house. You don't ever have to see me again!" Ford crossed his arms, gritting his teeth at his brother, who sneered at him.

"Fine!" Stan said, throwing his arms in the air. "Maybe I don't want to spend time with you!" Ford let out a hysterical laugh once Stan had said that, rolling his eyes and snapping, "Isn't that literally what you just said? Stop being such a hypocrite Stan." The two of them glared at each other, then Stan hissed, "Alright, here's the deal. I'll stay here until the kids go back home, then I'll give you everything back, and I'll leave. Forever."

There was a moment of silence, then Ford said quietly, "Sounds good."


"Did you hear that? I think Grunkle Ford said that they're gonna buy us puppies made out of ice cream. Might be wishful thinking though..." Dipper pushed himself away from the wooden door, where he had been eavesdropping on his uncles' conversation. Mabel sighed, and Dipper stepped over to her bed and flopped down next to her. "Hey Mabug, what's wrong?" a concerned expression was on his face, and Mabel had to force herself to not spill all of her feelings from out of her.

She sighed loudly, then said, "I don't know if this is a good or bad thing... I wanted to meet the Author but..." She closed her eyes tightly, and completely missed her brother's nod. "Yeah..." Dipper said, getting back to his feet and stepping over to his own bed on the other side of the room. "I missed the way things were before, with just us and Stan and the occasional zombie..." Mabel reopened her eyes, and the two of them watched each other for a moment, before Dipper asked in a voice that was nearly a whisper, "You... Don't think we'll end up like Stan and Ford, do you?"

Once again Mabel was left blinking at her twin, a confused look on her face. "What do you mean?" she asked, and Dipper shrank back a little, before explaining. "Well... They used to be best buddies... and now they're not. They got all stupid." He sighed again, and Mabel nodded once before Dipper asked, "Can you promise me you won't get stupid?"

"Stupider than I am right now? I don't think that's possible." Mabel said, smiling at Dipper, who chuckled. "Yeah... Goodnight stupid."

"Goodnight stupid."


Hello everybody!

This was requested by Anonymous, and the answer to their question is... Yes! I do take requests! Ten... no, no, fifteen bucks a person!

I'm just joking, it's free. For now...

Nah, still free. I think copyright laws require that...

Oh my goodness... Gravity Rises. Great for fanart (have I ever mentioned that I love fanart... well now I have!) difficult to write out. Most of the stuff I found had to do with season 1 characters (mainly Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, and Gideon) so I had a great time figuring out how to do a Stan and Ford combo in this one. I kept their original roles (Stan staying in their dimension while Ford gets trapped in the Multiverse) while simultaneously giving them a different sibling dynamic.

As GR!Ford said, "Why does everyone keep saying that I'm a genius?"

It's basically the two of them, but just really, really, really OOC. Like... So OOC it makes my heart hurt. I hope to never have to write another 'Stan hates Ford' chapter again.

Also, if Mabel takes on Dipper's role, and Dipper from GF basically hero-worships the Author. Wouldn't it just make sense that Mabel's... remaining Mabel-ness, helps her accidentally develop a crush on her uncle (and it's justified since she didn't know they were related, or that she'd ever actually get to meet the guy). Just a thought.

I hope all of you are having a great week! Stay weird!

-BrilliantLight