When Stan reopened the portal, he was expecting someone who looked like him. He was expecting someone who had spent thirty years in some other dimension. He was expecting someone who had changed. Someone who was thrilled to be back 'home'. Someone who was grateful. Someone who couldn't wait to see him again. He was expecting a Stan Pines.

Well... He'd been expecting a Stanford Pines at least. What he got... wasn't Stanford.

At first glance he was Stanford. He had the same blue eyes, same rugged face, same look of simultaneously knowing exactly what he was doing, yet nothing at all. Stan didn't have a chance to count his fingers, his eyes being more drawn to the fact that his doppelganger's right arm ended just at the elbow. But his lookalike was happy to see him. Overjoyed would be a better word for it, and the two of them cried out at the same time, "After all these years of waiting, you're actually here!

"Stanford!"

They blinked at each other. Stan shook his head, and exclaimed, "Wait. What?" His lookalike, who just had to be Ford, but had clearly said Stanford, tilted his head to the s*ide. "Excuse me? What?" Stan pointed at the other Stan, who pointed right back. "But you're Stanford... But I'm Stanford... What?!"

"Stan...ley?"
"Stan...lee? You can't hear it, but there's two Es in that one."
"Mabel!"

For a moment Stan continued looking at the other version of him. He turned his head to look at his young niece, who had her hands thrown in the air. "Or should I say Dipper? Dipper!" She turned to her brother, who was staring at the one-armed Stan, while repeating, "It's the Author, it's the Author... It's the Author..."

"Uh... Why are there kids here?" The portal Stan pointed at the small group of younger people, but the other Stan didn't respond. "You're... You're not Ford..." he stammered, and before the alternate version of himself could answer Mabel asked, "Wait. Aren't you Stanford Grunkle Stan?" Her Grunkle winced, squeezing his eyes shut. "Uh... Actually..."

"You stole Sixer's identity? Please tell me you had some fun with it." the newest Stan said, his eyes gaining an internal light and his lips curling into a mischievous smile. "Do you know what would be the best, if you made him look like a complete sham to the world! Hah! Take that snooty 'everything that matters has to do with Bill Ford'! I knew a Stan could do some real damage!" He threw his arm(s) in the air, and Stan blinked in shock at him. "That guy was a jerk! Not my Ford, he was just a poor kitten who needed protection, when he wasn't shoving me into portals or ruining my life that is."

The Stans took a minute to just stare at each other in silence, then Stan said, "Well... Uh... I did commit tax fraud with it. Along with pug trafficking... Impersonating a dentist... Stealing thermometers... A few others... I mean, there was the time I vandalized the police station..." The other Stan chuckled, then he snorted through his nose, and looked like he was about going to begin laughing uncontrollably, until he said, "Well... You're lucky you got me then. You'd be lucky if Ford left you with a face, much less inspiring you to do more."

"Wait. What's going on?!"


Mabel and Dipper sat on the floor in the basement, their newest Grunkle Stan, or Stanley as he said they should call him, beginning to explain the Multiverse to them. He accented his stories with his hand and arm, confusing their minds with concepts like: 'The Temple of the great Gildon', or, 'That annoying Cosmic Axolotl'. The entire time he was speaking he had a goofy grin on his face, one that would dwindle ever so slightly when he looked at Grunkle Stan classic.

Stan would never admit it, but the more he listened to the other version of himself, and all of his crazy epic stories, the more he was getting jealous. Sure, he had thought punching dinosaurs in the face and escaping those government agents had been cool and all, but when it compared to destroying giant space lizards? Stan didn't hold a candle to himself.

"And then, the Stacksaw reeled its crazy big head, and was about to make me have no hands, but I lifted my vorpal sword, and drove the blue blade through its head, piercing the foul creature's skull, and leaving it begging for its abominable mother!" Stanley said, holding his hand up in the air in a fist, fingers closed around an imaginary sword. Dipper stared in wonder at the fantastical image planted in his mind, and Mabel clapped happily, Soos saying, "Wow! You're a hero Sir Pines! Like a knight in shining armor!"

Stanley laughed, dropping his hand back to his side and bowing to his small audience. "Funny story actually, did I tell you that I was once knighted into the Order of the Black Phoenix?" His eyes gleamed as Mabel shook her head. "You've only told us the Stacksaw and One toothed worm story Grunkle Stanley," she said, leaning forward, "But I will definitely listen about you being a knight... Oooh! Did you ever get to save a pretty princess? Did you get married?!"

Stanley stepped back, holding his hand out in front of him like a shield to Mabel's energy. "Well... I did save a 'princess'. If princess Unattainabelle counts." He grinned mischievously, then said, "That was the time that a version of your other Grunkle, the one you've never met, was captured by... The Golden Hand. Legends say that the leader of the Golden Hand was an all-around royal jerk. Whether he was royal or not is up to debate.

"Well, Princess Unattainabelle... Well, let's just call him Ford 71'\, he was stuck. Big stuck. Like, the leader of the Golden Hand had locked him in a cell and threw away the key. Well, me and a few of my cohort, we were all dressed up all fancy and such, like a bunch of Handlings, or whatever those hand minions are called, and I went to the prison block, threw open Ford 71'\'s door, and said in my deepest, most manly voice, totally conveying that I meant business, 'My name is Stan Pines, and I'm here to rescue you'.

"He... Uh... Well, he sort of tried to knock my lights out. But we were cool after that."

He grinned at the kids, masking his true feelings inside, which Stan could see from nearly a mile away. Stanley Pines might be able to fool anyone else with his pretense of being fine, but he couldn't hide it from himself. He made a quick mental note to ask his doppelganger about it later, once they were away from the kids.

But while they were on the subject of Stanfords... Well, both of them had lost theirs. And it was all... well, was it Stan's fault, or Stanley's?

Stan had done his literal best to get Ford back, he had followed his brother's instructions, restarted the portal, calibrated it to the best of his abilities, and still it brought an alternate version of him back. Stanley had simply been traveling the Multiverse, doing his best to survive and get back to his own dimension when Stan sucked him through. How was he supposed to shift the blame now?

Time seemed to slow for Stan as Stanley began waving his arms, telling the kids some story of when he was younger. Stanley still held that sadness that mentioning their brother would always leave them with, but he didn't seem as beat up about it as he had a minute ago. This was fine, Stan was fine. The kids and Soos were soaking in every word he said like it was water in the desert, while all Stan wanted to do was wake up. This was a dream... this was a dream... that wasn't him. It was Ford, he hadn't brought Ford back yet... He'd wake up and the timer would still be going...

He still thought it was a dream as the kids dashed past him with Stanley, pulling out a strange gun-shaped object from Dipper's backpack. Stan turned around and watched them leave the room, running as fast as each of them could. He vaguely heard Mabel say, "Come on Grunkle Stan!", and barely registered his niece grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the exit of the basement.

When he got to the top of the house he saw black-clad government agents filing away quickly while Stanley glared at them, a few sheets of paper in his hand. He spun around inside the doorframe and smiled at the small family. "Well, that was easy." His eyes met Stan's, and Stan heard static overcome any real sounds he was hearing. He silently turned around and trodded into the house, not stopping when Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all called him back. He just had to get to bed. This was just another crazy nightmare. Ford would be coming back tomorrow.

Wasn't that what he'd been telling himself for thirty years now though?


"I'm worried about him Grunkle Lee! Grunkle Stan loves shoplifting. Today he paid with actual money! That he earned! I mean, to a lot of people that's normal, but not my Grunkle Stan! He didn't even try to haggle!"

Stanley, or the newly deemed "Gunkle Lee" (man he was getting a lot of nicknames. Stanley by Stan, Sir Pines by Soos, Stan by himself, Stan 2 by that Wendy kid, and now Grunkle Lee by Mabel, how was he ever going to remember them all) looked up at Mabel's scared face from across the dining room table. Placing his stump of an elbow on the table he leaned towards her, giving her a look of commiseration.

"Look kid, I remember when I lost my second Ford. That day was the worst day of my life. You're Grunkle's going through that right now." he sighed, looking down at the table, an action which Mabel copied. "Imagine if you found out you'd never see Dipper again. Like he was basically dead. That's what the two a' us are going through right now... The difference is... Well..." He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again to look into hers. "I know how to handle it a bit better. He still had hope... I sorta... always knew."

Mabel sighed, laying her arms on the table and placing her head down in between them. "I just wish there was a way I could make him happy... I mean... I could try, but I don't have any ideas..." Stanley shook his head, placing his hand on Mabel's right one, "You're a good kid Mabel, I'm happy I got to meet you. I wish there was a way we could be happy too. But unless you can figure out a way to unseal our dimension... We're stuck."

The young girl hummed in agreement, then her head tilted up and she looked into his eyes. "Wait... Dipper." A smile spread over her face and she pushed herself up onto the palms of her hands. "Dipper has Grunkle Ford's Journals! If anyone can open up our dimension thingy it'd be him! And we can get Mr. McGucket to help out too! He worked with the Author... I mean Grunkle Ford. We could get him back, and get you to your own home!"

A look of pure joy filled her face and she turned to leap off of her chair and begin to head towards the living room. "Dipper! Let's go save the Author of the Journals! And his brother! Grunkle Stan! And Lee! And Christmas while we're at it!"

Stanley hoped his Mabel was as crazy as this one.


Hello! Greetings!

So... No Ford in this one. For obvious reasons. Poor Stan, and Stanley, and Dipper, and Mabel, and Soos... You know what, just poor everybody. On the plus side though, there probably won't be a Weirdmageddon. So, pluses and minuses everyone.

Stan totally gets jealous of Lee. Stanley that is. I mean, he's a swashbuckling, one-armed, ne'er-do-well, who just drops into his life instead of his brother and starts a real, honest, true comparison. And now it's not just a twin he has to worry about being outshined by, it's himself. That... That's just great. (Alos, Stanley totally traveled with another Ford... Who... may, or may not, have... died... Ooooohhh... chapter idea...)

Thanks to Biancamanda16, User724, and Anonymous for the reviews. As an answer to your review Anonymous, Reverse Portal Au is basically where Stan gets lost in the Multiverse instead of Ford. Ford becomes a teacher/inventor, or just an inventor depending on the interpretation, and Stan... Is Stan in the Multiverse. Take that as you will. Stan loses an arm (somehow, mainly to make Ford feel bad), and Ford spends thirty years playing 'Will I, won't I?" with himself until he finally decided he will when he's (forced into) watching Dipper and Mabel one summer. To briefly sum it up, the Stans are switched. Hopefully that clears it up!

Alright, I have some news (cue the drumroll)... I got an Archive of Our Own account! (confetti!) I'm planning on reposting this story, touched up of course, over there. And here's a fun part: I'm gonna let you guys pick your favorites to be polished up and posted over there! Just... Uh... Let me know in a review or PM.

I hope you guys liked this! Until next time!

-BrilliantLight