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I shuffled off my motorcycle one leg at a time. One gloved hand came up and rubbed at my earrings. My little wolf studs. I took long steps up to the front and pulled the door open. It was late. The place was crowded. The music was loud in my ears and lights strobed at the floor. A man in bear costume mixed it up at the DJ booth.
I didn't need any of that. I wasn't here for drugs or to party. Not this time. And I was a little gun shy after last time I did partake at this establishment. I tried to end my life. No Mother required. If I just passed away due to drug use without fighting her at all, then talk about going out with a whimper. It's not how I should go. I should go out at my Mother's feet while fighting her when I finally kicked it. Not out of my mind on drugs in some half remembered bar.
I strode down to the bar.
"I'm here to see Junior. I have an appointment," I told one of the bar staff.
"Something to drink while you wait?"
"Rum and cola?"
"No problem," the man said and mixed my drink. He slung a towel over his shoulder and walked out from the bar to the back where the offices were.
I took a drink and waited. I rested a hand on the new weight of my sword. As with Crocea Mors to Crocea Mors 2.0 the weight was different but not unmanageable. It just took some getting used to. The weight difference was quite a bit and the sword was almost two feet longer when fully extended. It had to hang diagonally in my harness because it was taller than I was. Still the edge nearly dragged along the ground. But my strength had grown by something like two orders of magnitude since those days out in Anima. It was not too heavy for me to use and wield comfortably with all my might. I could really bring the hammer down on somebody now if I felt like it. All the weight of all my teams weapons and Pyrrha's armor. Some of them had actually been hammers, too.
I sipped slowly on my soda and rum. The dark drink was too brown and murky to see through. I sloughed like half the glass and it was a tall glass. Maybe I had a problem but I was really into substances. A weakness of mine but I wasn't really sure how my enemies could exploit that. Offer me a drink? Kinda transparent. I probably shouldn't take anything from my enemies on pretty basic principle.
Junior walked out. A big bear of a man. He gave me a look and pointed upwards at the second floor. I took my drink and turned to climb glass steps on the far side of the dance floor. I leaned against a wall and waited for Junior to join me. He did and he led the way into a private room.
"So…" I trailed. "Callin' in your favor?"
"Well, yes I suppose. I'd like to borrow Neapolitan and have her help move some dope."
"That can be arranged," I agreed readily. Some things which were hard to pull off with cops watching were trivial with Neo's help. Like staying under the police radar or moving around drugs and money and people. I'd done all of those things with her help in Atlas. It was easy. She made life easy. "But that's not why you really called me."
"No," he murmured. "I got a hit on the Engelberts."
"Did you now?" I wondered. I took a drink of my cola and gasped off the alcohol.
"The Malachites really found them. They aren't in Vale anymore."
"Oh?" I pressed.
"They're in Mistral and trying to start over. It's not so different over there than over here."
"What'd they do?"
"Run some drugs and people around. Little stuff so far. They're probably trying to test out the length of your reach."
"Mistral is in the palm of my hand. It's a short flight."
"So easily?" He asked.
"Pretty easily," I shrugged. "I'll have to find them once I get there. That will be the hard part. But getting to Mistral and back is just a flight for me. I can coast. And if they try to fly away I can rip their airship from the sky. They shouldn't have crossed me. I'll kill them. For sure."
"Nobody has reclaimed their spot yet. Some players for Tiger Paw tried but broke down into infighting with White Fang purists. Nobody has taken their spot at the top of the hierarchy over here."
"You're suggesting I do it?"
"Why not? You have Neapolitan. You have enough power to pull it off."
"I'm not interested. I'll just top deck. Whoever succeeds at taking over I'll meet with them and put the same screws to them I gave to the Engelberts. Eventually somebody will work with me. I'll just keep drawing cards until I get an ace. No reason to dirty my hands and stain my pure record. Why don't you do it?" I pressed. Why not? Junior was already connected and could pull it off. Especially with my help. I finished off my drink. Junior reached over to his tablet and ordered me another.
"I'm into information really. Not bodies. It's a different game. It dances to a different tune."
"I'm sure you could dance if you had to," I pointed out. "Why not? Is it really so different from drugs and information?"
"Drugs and information are safer and stable. The person at the top of the hierarchy of bodies keeps disappearing. First Roman then the Engelberts. Why wouldn't the next person vanish? Why should that be me? It doesn't sound attractive when I put it like that, does it?"
"I won't force you," I waved him off.
"You're it," he informed me reluctantly.
"I'm what?" I wondered.
"You think you can keep pulling from the top deck and exist orthogonal to the hierarchy. You're it. You're at the top. You just don't run any games."
"I'm not," I defended. But it sounded weak to my ears. I didn't want to be it. I could maybe get away with that.
"You think you exist in a vacuum?" He pressed. He caught me fairly by the tail. "Face it. You're the top dog now, dog. Whether you like it or not you replaced Roman. You replaced the Engelberts. You're the biggest fish. It's you. Yeah other little fish will take what you leave behind or give 'em but at the top of the pyramid is you." He pointed at me aggressively. He must have really meant it. I knew he was scared of me and it was pretty good. This thing he was accusing me of was pretty bold.
"Motherfucker. I don't want it," I sighed. I ran a hand through my hair. Did it matter that I didn't want it? Wasn't it mine anyways? Motherfucker. I wanted to be beside the hierarchy. Not sitting at the top.
He shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. You ran off the Engelberts like it was nothing. That makes you the kingpin. Sorry. But you should have known this was going to happen." He was right. I should have. I just didn't think it through. I ran this fuckin' town. I was untouchable.
A cute waitress swung by and dropped off my drink.
"So where does that leave us?" I demanded.
"Well, it leaves me doing pretty much whatever you say or it's my head," he murmured candidly.
"I'm not gonna kill you unless you motivate me to. Relax there chief. The Engelberts put me in a bomb. That's why they have to go. I don't want to cut in on your business or cause you undo strife. And the people I'm telling you to watch out for will butcher you without a second thought. So you should hand them over to me anyways."
"And I will," he agreed. "But you have to take more responsibility than you are. It creates unbalance and discord when you just sit there on your throne. You have to make plays."
"I'm not staining my hands and I just cleaned Neo's record. If you squabble amongst yourselves like bottom feeders, then that's on you."
"It's not the bottom feeder's fault it's a bottom feeder. It just is."
"I'm not doing any drugs. I'm not running any people. I'm not doing it. It's on you to hold onto your butts and places in the hierarchy even if I choose to do absolutely nothing. Which I am. And that's just tough bananas for you. It just is. That's the way it has to be."
"Think about how much you could get away with," he pressed. I took a long drink of my soda and rum. "You could run whatever you wanted. You could make hundreds of millions. No one could get in your way. What would the council do? What would the police do?"
"What would I do with hundreds of millions? I can't even spend the millions I have fast enough and I'm getting married. This is the spend-happiest time of my life and I still can't get rid of it all. What would I do with more? You run that shit if it makes you happy. Don't expect me to cut in on it or to prize it. I don't need money. I need people for Neo to torture. I need a little cash for my wives. Not much but a little. I need to deal with my family. Money doesn't help with that. My power helps with that. Information brokers like you help with that. Don't expect me to start chomping at the bit to get more of what won't even help me. I don't need it. I just don't and I'm probably not going to be around that long anyways. What then? It will collapse then at any rate. So I won't insert myself any more than absolutely necessary."
"But there is so much you could do, with just a snap of your fingers," he gestured with an open palm.
"There's less I should do. That I ought to do. It's important to have temperance when you're as strong as I am. I need to not waste my time. I need to keep my energy focused. There are things and threats that really matter to me. Things the council calls my number for and enemies greater even than those threats. I have to focus on those. Thanks for the tip about the Engelberts. But I'mma let the hierarchy flail. I just don't need the excess hassle in my life. And over what? An order of magnitude of money I won't even spend? Really? Deal with it."
"Most people can't just tell me to deal with it," he groaned.
"I can. Because I'm a shark." I slammed my drink and stood up. "I'm gonna go deal with those other sharks. Not these little minnows with their millions of Lien. It's not worth it. It's just not. I'll send you Neo's contact info. She'll want somebody to torture. That can come from you or I can grab somebody off the street. The choice is yours."
"Not really…"
"But kinda. And isn't that pretty much freewill in a nutshell? Kinda but not really?"
"Seriously?" He wondered.
"Well… yeah. Do you think I have free will? Bro, I couldn't buy freewill at the freewill store is how little freewill I have. I'm covered in chains. Most people at least have a little bit of the stuff but, for me, I don't have a drop."
"Not even you?"
"Are you kidding? I have less free will than anybody else maybe ever. Between my wives and my family and my responsibilities I'm shackled up. I have no choice pretty much at all and the things I do have control over I don't particularly care about. I got to order this rum and cola and that's pretty sweet but that's about as far as my leash goes. I don't have a lot of wiggle room. And then, on top of all that, there's the usual arguments against free will. Like the fact time is linear and always flowing forward. Like the fact the Higgs field is positive everywhere. Like the fact the brain is all chemistry and chemistry is statistics. I have all this other bullshit telling me 'no' on top of the usual bullshit that tells everyone 'no.' So 'no,' bro, not even me. Especially not me. Come on. You're a freer man than I am. For sure. Like no doubt. No question. For sure. Thanks for the drinks. Put them on my tab."
He waved me off.
"Good enough," I decided. "Keep me in the loop on spree killers or serial killers."
"Yeah, yeah," he acknowledged. "The most powerful man in the world and you're all chained up? That's what you're telling me."
"Yeah man. That's what I'm telling you. For most people they at least get the question. You know. 'What if I do have free will?' I don't even get that. It's like there's a nail in my foot and it's white-hot and staking me in place. I don't even get to dissociate. I'm always trapped in myself. It fuckin' sucks."
"You want pain killers?" He asked.
"So bad. I want them so bad I can't stand it."
"So…? Why not? Who's stopping you? Use some. Relax."
"My my wives said 'no.'"
"You dog."
"Yeah. That's my life. What am I going to do? Do something they explicitly asked me not to do? I love them. It's my responsibility to grant their wishes. Even if it hurts me. Especially if it hurts me. You get it. I think you do, at least."
"A little. Would they withhold sex?"
"No. But I should do what they tell me because I love them. Not because of some other threat. I would kill and die for them. It's easy to say you would do anything for them but would you actually? Would you kill your friends? Would you abstain from substances even if you like them? It's a question of what you're willing to do and I'm able to do quite a lot. So more is expected of me. That's fair. Like a progressive tax bracket. That's fair. It just is."
"Well… I'd do a lot for my girls. I'm glad they don't ask me to abstain."
"Lucky you. And it's my fault really. I'd be too tempted to end my life. So I should probably let it alone. You feel me? Because it would be too easy to take like six vicodin and just keel over. And that's not how I'm supposed to go out. I'm supposed to die fighting my family. Like a man. Not in some gutter like a druggie. So yeah I have to leave it alone. It's the same reason I can't take over the hierarchy and enforce my will on people like that. I shouldn't therefore I can't."
"You have too much honor."
"I have too much power to not be honorable. If I was dishonorable things would be chaos. I need restrictions and limitations on my power. I need for there to be stop gaps and things to block me even if they are obstacles of my own creation. I'm simply too much to get away with doing whatever I want even if I could. I need there to be people telling me how to use my power and how to think or I would go mad. I'd lose my mind from my own strength and get drunk on my own reserves. You ever get drunk on your own power before?"
"Once or twice…"
"Not a good feeling, is it? Doesn't leave you happy or content. It leaves you wanting more. Which is dramatically worse, isn't it? And if I started to slip nobody could really stop me."
"It can be. But even you?"
"Especially me. God helps us all if I wasn't putting myself in chains. It would be mayhem. I would kill because I felt like it and nobody could get in my way. Kingdoms could fall. Millions could die. And for what? So I could get my jollies off? No sir. Not me. I'm not bitch made. I have to check myself and stop from running wild and rampant with it. You'd be dead, Neo would be dead, my girls would be dead, I'd be dead. I have to respect myself and stop short of committing entirely or everything would be fuckin' fucked. Thanks for the drinks and the chat. I better take off. Keep me informed about everything I need to know and not just for your sake and my sake. My enemies are the real deal."
"You're the boss," he muttered.
I laughed.
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-WG
