The Voice in Your Heart
Page 85: Broken Dreams
It was yet another dreary night in Gaudile Laboratories.
The night was dreary, the day was lonely. Epsilon could sense Cinnamon's feelings as he traversed through her memory chip. Her bedroom still had stuffed toys and photos, and it seems that she had them cleaned regularly, as they were not dusty.
Cinnamon is seated on the bed, flipping through an album containing photos of the Liberion reploids, along with Dr. Psyche and the long dead Prof. Miyu Tezuka. Among everyone who participated in Redips's Supra Force Metal project, only Professor Gaudile and Cinnamon survived.
To both Cinnamon and Epsilon, the memories were painful to look at. There were so many photos; everyone celebrated everyone's birthdays. There were a few candid photos in the album as well. It was truly unfortunate that it all ended in blood and tears.
Even for the victors and survivors, the tears didn't stop with the crisis.
"Psst! Hey! Cinnamon!"
Epsilon's line of sight shifted quickly as Cinnamon turned to her bedroom window; Marino was there, tapping on it.
At the sight of her close friend, Cinnamon quickly got up and walked to open the window.
"Marino? Why are you here?"
"I heard Gaudile Laboratories has gone to shi... gone through hard times lately. Is that true?"
Cinnamon opened her mouth, and immediately closed it before slowly nodding in resignation.
Marino's face contorted into a sad expression. "I'm sorry," she said.
"The Professor has been so stressed lately..." Cinnamon commented, "Nobody wants Force Metal anymore. It was hard enough when no one wanted to commission or recruit us for projects, but now we... I can't even help earn money with the Force Metal Generator."
"I figured as much. So that's why I'm here."
"What? What do you mean?"
"I'll cut to the chase; Cinnamon, do you want to get out of here? With me?"
"What?"
Before Cinnamon could say more, her bedroom door was slammed open, and Professor Gaudile burst in with a gun. Cinnamon instinctively screamed, while Marino leaped into the room and readied her shuriken. Upon seeing Marino jump inside, Professor Gaudile lowered his gun, but his expression remained tense.
"I'm sorry, girls. My systems detected an intruder near Cinnamon's room, and I was afraid that it might be a kidnapper. But it was just Marino..."
Marino heaved a sigh of relief and put her shuriken away. "Whoops. Sorry I didn't knock through the front door, Professor."
"Why didn't you?" Gaudile questioned, still with the stern expression on his face.
"Now that it's come to this," Marino shrugged, "Professor, I'd like to ask your permission to take Cinnamon with me."
Gaudile felt an overpowering sense of dread, "What? Where to? And what for?"
"We all know that your laboratory isn't doing well, so I want to take her with me to live a better life."
Cinnamon yelled, "What? Why?"
Gaudile yelled, "Nonsense! So you're saying that Cinnamon will become a thief like you and forever be chased around by authorities? Like hell that's a better life!" Gaudile responded.
"Ah-ah, I'm just getting to the good part. My travels across the world actually got me some friends. Not shady people, but actual starving scientists who are fed up of the government and corporate oligarchy using their inventions for their own wealth while the ones who need it suffer. We're forming a guild of reploid scientists, and they allowed me to bring Cinnamon in, even though she's not a scientist. They let me have that favour since I'm the one who brought them together."
Cinnamon tilted her head questioningly, "A guild? What's a guild?"
"Basically, I helped found a group, or organisation of reploid scientists." Marino answered.
"Then why can't the Professor come with you too?"
Marino shook her head. "Believe me, I tried convincing the scientists to let him in. But they refused and said... a bunch of nasty things. They only allowed to let you in because they think you're a sheltered child."
The room was then silent for a few minutes until Cinnamon spoke up.
"If... if they can't accept the Professor, I don't think... I don't think I can live with them."
Gaudile looked Marino in the eye. "What did they say? Maybe I can convince them to let us in."
"Are you sure you want to hear it?" Marino asked with a concerned look on her face.
"I bet it's something I've heard before," Gaudile answered, "Nothing new, I think."
"They called you a sheep, basically. Some called you a glorified mechaniloid. Basically, they don't like how you obeyed the commissioner's request without any objections when you were told to neutralize the Lagrano participants. They're part of the bunch that thought it was cruelty."
Gaudile let out a heavy sigh. There really is no future for him. But for Cinnamon, the future doesn't look so bleak...
"Cinnamon," Gaudile said, "Go with Marino."
"Wha... but why? I... I want to go with Marino, but if I have to leave you alone, I won't go!"
"Listen to me, Cinnamon. Neither I nor Giga City have a future anymore. People are leaving this city, and you know that no one has commissioned us in years. If I have to suffer, so be it. But I can't bear to see you suffer because of me."
"Then who will be with you, Professor? You'll be alone here!"
Gaudile smiled sadly for a moment before responding. "I know. I know that, Cinnamon. But I can't say that I didn't deserve it. Not even I can deny that I tried to kill Dr. Psyche. Up until the incident, we were good friends along with Tezuka. Both of them died because of me. Do you understand, Cinnamon? Because of my sins, two of my close friends died. And now, you're suffering with me too, because of what I've done. If Marino can make sure you can have a future, then I'd be happier if you go with her. That would give me some peace."
Cinnamon shook her head at Gaudile with tears in her eyes. "No. No! Professor, I can't do that! I want us to be happy together. If you're suffering just so I can be happy, then it's not real happiness. I don't want it!"
"I don't want you to rot here with me, Cinnamon! It's the last thing I want. I'd rather be alone here than to drag you down with me..."
Marino exhaled and took out a device from her container program. "I knew this was going to happen."
Both Cinnamon and Professor Gaudile turned to Marino, who handed the device to Cinnamon, who instinctively took it.
"Marino...? What's this?" Cinnamon asked.
"I'll ask first; Professor, how... how long will your CPU last?"
"A few years at most. I can't afford the materials for a new one. Not for me, nor Cinnamon. But she'll last longer than me, provided she doesn't overclock herself. I worry that she'll be alone once I'm gone."
Marino nodded, "Right. So how about this... Cinnamon, you can stay with Professor Gaudile until he... until his last moments, since that's what you wanted. But you've seen for yourself that both of us want you to have a future. Once Professor Gaudile's time has come, you can use this device to call me. As dead as Giga City is, I don't think this place will be left without communication signals. Call me, and I'll come get you."
Cinnamon nodded with a smile. "Thank you, Marino..."
"Same with me. I have to thank you for keeping Cinnamon close to your heart all this time. When I'm gone, Marino, I'll be entrusting her to you." Gaudile said.
Soon enough, the three dispersed. Marino vanished into the night, Professor Gaudile went back to his own room, while Cinnamon placed the device on her bedside table.
After that scene, Epsilon fast-forwarded the memories of Cinnamon's life with Professor Gaudile to get to the newest memories.
In it, both of them were in the living room, watching an old movie. Thanks to their advanced solar power generators and vegetable garden, at least they could afford movie night and some simple snacks. It was serene and peaceful, and the Professor had fallen asleep. Cinnamon soon followed after turning the TV off.
However, Professor Gaudile hadn't woken up the next morning. What followed was a panic attack that Epsilon had to fast-forward; the feelings would've been too much for him otherwise. He witnessed her plug the professor to the solar power generator; it didn't work. She tried to hard-reboot him, but it didn't work either. In desperation, she took him apart and found that the CPU had indeed been fried.
With the sorry state of the laboratory and its finances, she can't afford the materials for a new CPU, or to even build a new, less advanced body for the professor's memory chip. Even if she dismantled every single machine and mechaniloid in the lab, she wouldn't have the correct materials to do it.
Soon after that realization, she felt her systems overload itself with grief and muted panic. With what's left of her energy, Cinnamon put Professor Gaudile's components back together, dragged her feet to the sofa, and sat beside the body. A few minutes of internally apologizing to Marino later, Cinnamon coughed out smoke, and her systems stopped working completely.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I last updated this on... May 5th, 2020. Nearly two weeks later, Covid took my job. Two months ago, I got a new one and am adapting to it. The period of unemployment was really hard on my psyche, though; and because of the nature of my current job, I didn't have the luxury of a proper break time to cope with the trauma before I had to start my new job. Fortunately, the pay is higher than my previous job, which meant I could move into a bigger place. I had been busy (again! sobs), but finally I can update this. Ch86 is also in progress. I think this fic is like, 80% done.
I'm finding it hilarious that this fic has been around for 5 years. I started writing it as a uni student. Then I graduated... got my first job... second job, third job, now fourth job. I always said I was going to finish this, and I will. I think this will be my last MMX fic on FFN; after this, I'll be moving to Archive of Our Own, since everyone seems to have moved there.
Even so, I won't dismiss the idea of uploading my fics here still. FFN holds a special place in my heart, despite everything.
