Wendy sat in bed, late at night, her blankets pulled up around her shoulders even though the wind was blowing warmly through her window. During the summer she'd seen some pretty bonkers stuff, and incidents at her work were nothing new, but it still felt strange to tell her father that she hadn't gone to work because... the government had been rampaging the house.
She glanced over at her clock, which read 1 am. She couldn't help but let out an audible groan and flop her left arm over her eyes. 1 o'clock already? She'd been trying to get to sleep for an hour! What was wrong with her?
She turned on her right side and squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if she thought of really boring thoughts she'd fall asleep. Like... working at her cousin's logging camp, or watching paint dry, or reruns of mid-season one Ducktective... or Robbie trying to get her to take him back... or when that shapeshifter that had morphed into an exact replica like her and if Dipper hadn't recognized her hand gesture she would have been dead... or the time when those ghosts were going to kill her and her friends...
Her eyes instantly flew open, for a number of reasons. Firstly because of her thoughts, secondly because her phone started to vibrate and start playing Cray Cray, which was how she was feeling right then.
Without checking to see who it was she answered the call and said groggily, "Look, dude, I know this isn't normal for me... but I think my boss just got arrested by the government today, and I'm taking the next few days off for personal biz..."
"Wendy! Something... amazing just happened! Clear the next fourteen hours!" Wendy blinked as Soos' voice echoed in her ear. "Soos? What? Amazing? Fourteen hours?" She contemplated telling him to wait for tomorrow, but instead let him answer her half-baked questions.
"Yeah! Now listen, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out. So you know Stan, who is Stan, but he's also not Stan... There was this portal! And Stan started the portal, the one who isn't Stan, but is Stan, he started it, and this other Stan came out, and at first we, Dipper, Mabel, Stan and me... We were like "Whaaa?" and the other Stan, who is Stan, but isn't Stan, he was like, "Uh... Yeah... So..."..."
"Soos, what are you talking about?" Wendy blinked at her phone, understanding about 2% of the words Soos was saying. Soos took a deep breath, one that made Wendy wince at, and he began again, "Alright so you know Stan? Well... He's still Stan, but he's not Stan he's Stan. You got me?"
Wendy groaned audibly again, and muttered, "Yeah Soos, whatever." Soos sucked in deeply, then said, "Well... the other Stan, the one who had the portal thingie, he came through the portal, and we, Dipper, Mabel and me. We were like "What?" and he was like, "Who?" and Stan, who isn't Stan, but is Stan, "He was like, "This is my brother dudes". And we were like, "Whoa! Cool!", and the Author Stan, he was like... "So I'm dead... Can I go home?"."
The more Soos talked, the crazier he sounded. Dead? Author? Stan? Had her friend finally gone cuckoo? "So... Soos... It's... Late... I'm gonna call you back in the morning..."
"But I haven't even gotten to the best part! Stan's brother, Stan, who is Stan, but isn't Stan, but also isn't Stan, because he's Stan, he was all talking about this weird acid monster, and I was thinking he'd be great at FCLORPing! So... Uh... Yeah. He's a ghosty-guy, so you don't need to bring him any clothes or anything, just don't bring silver or anything like that with you to work now..."
This was the best/worst day ever for Wendy. She hoped that by tomorrow everything would be better and that she'd just be able to do normal teenage things. Maybe she'd swing by the Shack to pick up Dipper and Mabel and hit the mall with the rest of the gang. That sounded good...
"Wait. Did you just say he's a ghost? Eh, not the weirdest thing I've seen."
"Yes Stanley, I believe we've established the fact that I am dead. Wow. So observant you are."
If Stanley had thought that this entire scenario was strange and weird he had nothing on what Ford felt. Imagine waking up one morning to the sweet sound of death and finding out that your twin brother is now like... ancient, and you're still in your forties. Oh, also, said old twin brother has potentially released a demon upon the world you were working so carefully to protect. Big whoop-di-doo there.
It would be much more bearable if Stan would just stop muttering, "He's dead... he's really dead." every five seconds.
As things were Ford was getting tired (could he even be tired anymore?) with how his family was acting. Dipper and Mabel were overjoyed with his presence (for different reasons) and had been sent off to bed by Ford, so that he could calm his brother down. Stanley was acting exactly how Ford would expect Stan to act in a situation like this. Completely freaking out, going into denial for a minute, then blaming himself before freaking out again.
"Sorry Ford, it's just... just... just that it's-" Stan blinked at his brother's transparent form floating in front of him, his arms crossed, dark-ish eyebrows raised. Ford was fading in and out of color, his clothes (black ex-jumpsuit along with hiking boots and trenchcoat) getting lighter and darker as he did so. "All your fault? I believe we also established that it is not your fault. It's mine for getting into that situation. The other Stan did the best he could with the resources provided, but I don't even know if he survived..."
The two of them locked eyes for a moment. Stan's mouth opened in a mixture of shock and... another kind of shock. "Other Stan? What 'other Stan'?" Ford clenched his hands into fists to keep himself from groaning, and his entire body flashed red for a second, which made Stan shrink back a tiny bit. "I was traveling with a Stanley from dimension 89'\, in his world it was Stanley who was sent through the portal instead of me."
Stan stared at him with shock and a bit of understanding. Ford sighed, feeling like he was releasing an exponential amount of air from inside of him, even though he knew that that wasn't physically true. The concept of being a ghost was still relatively new to him, and he was still trying to wrap his mind around that fact. At least he had died of acid so he still had his body's regular form...
"So you don't know what happened to me... I mean him?" Stan asked, snapping Ford out of his wandering thoughts. He opened his mouth, watching Stan's concerned face, then he closed his jaw, feeling a bit sad that his teeth didn't make a sound as they connected, and shook his head. "Not a clue." Stan nodded, then Ford reached forward and placed a hand upon his shoulder, making Stan shiver. If he could just focus... maybe they could actually touch...
"In a way... This is better." At Ford's sentence Stan snapped out of his small stupor. He stared at his dead brother like he was crazy, and Stan let out an actually crazy laugh. "What?! Ford... Ford that nuts! How is this better? You are dead. You're not coming back..." If Ford didn't know better he'd say that there were tears welling up inside of Stan's eyes, or that he was going to break down in front of him.
Ford floated away from Stan, his legs still moving like he actually had to physically move himself around. "But that's where you're wrong Stan, I have come back. You brought me back. I can still interact with the world around me, as long as I concentrate. I just have to figure out what my purpose is, and then I can determine how long I stay here." He smiled at his brother, who stared at him like he had just said that water was the dryest substance ever.
"Ford, that doesn't... what are you talking about?" Ford sighed at his brother's question, then he motioned towards the chair behind Stan inside of the living room. "Have a seat Stan, I'll explain what I know about ghosts to you... Hey, let's call the kids, at least Dipper, they'll want to hear this too... I'll be right back."
Stan watched his brother float up, squeeze his eyes shut, and pass through the ceiling above them. A moment later Ford was back, a small smile on his face, closely followed by the sound of two pairs of feet clambering down the stairs and letting the two youngest Pines fall into the room.
"Alright, I haven't spoken in front of a class for a while, so pardon any... strange things that may happen." Ford smiled at his three relatives, the younger of which looked absolutely overjoyed, while his twin looked about ready to join him in the afterlife. "Alright, so, do any of you know how many categories of ghosts there are?" He glanced around the room, Dipper's arm was up in the air, and the boy was waving it back and forth, looking anxious.
"Mabel," Ford said, pointing at his niece, who answered, "Uh... Ten?" She grinned happily when her great uncle nodded. "Yeah! Ten points for Mabel!" Ford smiled at her, and nodded at Dipper, who kept his arm up. "Yes Dipper?"
"Do you know what level you are?" Dipper asked, leaning forward and watching Ford with wide eyes. Ford blinked at him, then said, "That is a great question Dipper... I must say... I have no idea." Mabel squealed loudly, raising her arms in the air, "We get to help Grunkle Ford with his ghost problem! I'm sure you're a level ten!" Ford smiled at her, then looked over at his brother. "Stan, do you have anything to say?"
Stan looked at him with slightly more life than he normally showed. "I don't know what's going on... I just want you to be normal."
There was a split second where it looked like Ford was going to explode. The very center of his body began to glow a bright red, then turn yellow, then blue. He stared at his brother in fury, then said in a voice deeper than he had ever spoken with, "Well Stanley... This is my new normal. I am trying to explain my new kind of existence. But if you aren't interested I can always go haunt another place."
"No!" Mabel said, standing up and nearly stepping on her brother. "Don't go Grunkle Ford! Grunkle Stan is just... just... Just being Grunkle-ey again! Please don't leave!" She blinked at him and held her hand up nearly in front of her face in a praying position.
Ford smiled at her, his internal fire dying down a bit. "Alright Mabel, I won't go." Dipper sighed in relief, and Mabel sat back down next to him.
"Thank goodness."
Bill sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. Every since his Ford had died he'd been bored. The natural law of the Multiverse prevented him from possessing his favorite puppet (sorry Dipper, you were like Ford-lite), but he'd still been able to watch all of his near-death experiences. Bill had fully expected Stanford to be able to defeat that acid monster.
But noooo Ford had to get blasted in the face. It was sad to watch someone else burn those sideburns off.
As some sort of sick memorial to the fallen human, Bill kept his 'globe' still up and running, a large X over the place where Ford normally would be. There was still a dark green acid stain on the ground where Ford had taken his last stand, but Bill had gotten bored of watching that spot years and years ago. Maybe one day he'd find a 'friend' as fun as Ford, but as it was there was noone that came close...
"Stanley? What happened to you? Why is everything so bright? Why is the ground so far under me? Why are you staring at me like that?"
At first Bill thought he'd gone insane...er, but then Ford's voice said, "What do you mean I'm transparent?" Bill's eye flicked over to Ford's ball, and widened exponentially. The portal! That stupid portal that Ford's stupid brother couldn't figure out for the stupid life of him! Mackeral had figured it out finally, and it hadn't worked! Stupid portal trying to get Ford back instead of Bill...
"I'm a ghost? What? All that happened to me was fighting that acid monster... Oh yeah, that'll do it." Bill grabbed the sphere with his black hands and stared at it. There, in the center of its shiny shape, was the spectral image of Stanford Pines, floating in front of the portal, holding one of his hands in front of his mouth like he always did when he was thinking really hard about something. "Axolotl, I hope that Stan's okay..."
Bill felt like shouting. Both from frustration, and joy. Fordsy was back! But that also meant that Ford was back. Bill had always thought that it was strange that he'd never been able to find his soul in the directory of dead Fords (don't ask), but now it made sense. That Stanley had kept Stanford from moving on. Wow, it was strange how close their bond was even though they hadn't seen each other for a good thirty years.
Ford talked to Pine tree and Shooting star, then Question mark and Mackeral. It was all boring history stuff (and he somehow forgot to mention Bill to the four of them, how rude!) and Bill tuned out, choosing instead to watch how far along in his ghost-ness Ford had gone. What category would he be? Ten? Probably not, he wasn't exactly swearing vengeance on anyone... except maybe Bill... Hmm... Given Ford's luck he was a category one. That would be hilarious.
"So what do you say Fordsy? Will you join me?"
One of the good things about Ford being a ghost was the fact that Bill could talk to him... whenever now. Ford looked about ready to explode all over Bill, and the triangular demon put his hands up in front of his face. "Whoa Fordsy, keep it down. You don't want to get a heart attack, do you?"
Ford glared at Bill, and snapped, "Even if I do get a heart attack, which isn't possible, it wouldn't effect me. I'm already dead, remember. Now get out of my house!"
Unbeknownst to either spectral form, Dipper and Mabel were watching Ford through a crack in their door. All they could see was their Grunkle talking to the wall, and all they could hear was Ford. Mabel leaned over and whispered in her brother's ear, "Dipper... Who is he talking to?" Her twin shrugged, and said, "I dunno, the wall?" Mabel shook her head, "I don't think he's that loopy... I hope he's okay though."
"No I don't want to make a deal! I've done enough of those for a death-time!" Dipper and Mabel shared a look, then Dipper muttered, "I think I know who it is..." Mabel glanced between her two relatives, then she asked, "Who?" Dipper said in a low and serious voice, "Bill." Mabel gasped audibly, then quieted up as soon as Ford snapped, "What? I don't think the two of them would... Maybe I will!"
Their ghost uncle turned towards Dipper and Mabel's room. The two of them froze for a split second, then dashed over to their beds and flopped down, just as soon as Ford floated through their closed door. His eyes, which were turning bright blue and flame-like. "Look at them... they're in bed. They definitely weren't spying on me. And if they were they'll never do that again." His voice turned low, and Mabel squeezed her eyes shut. Was it getting warmer in there?
"Now. I don't have time for this. Yes I know I'm dead!" Ford floated out of the room again, and almost instantly the room chilled. Both twins sighed breaths of relief, and Dipper said, "Well... We're never doing that again." Mabel nodded. "Definitely, I think Grunkle Ford has fire powers though..."
"Mabel, all ghosts have fire powers. At least the ones I've met." Dipper said, sitting up and looking at his sister. "I'm sure he's got control of it... Let's just not bug him again... I mean, I'm sure he won't hurt us, but he's a relatively new ghosts, and who knows what he'll do."
Needless to say, it was hard for the two of them to fall asleep.
Hello my friends.
To answer Anonymous' question, yes I'll (probably) keep updating this fic here. I haven't run out of ideas... yet. With this one I drew inspiration from my last chapter, when Stan says that he traveled with a Ford, but he died... Yeah... Sadness.
Ford is the kind of person who probably, actually, kinda, likes being a ghost. I mean, he can still interact with the physical world, and he doesn't have to eat, and he doesn't have to worry about Bill possessing him, and basically everything about this is good for him. And he's not even bloody because acid monster!
Poor Bill was bored for a bit though... And now Ford is rejecting all of his offers.
And Wendy! I added Wendy to this one! I was laughing so hard when I wrote the Soos bits. I hope you guys like them! And I hope you guys have a great day!
-BrilliantLight
