The room was quieter than ever. Humanly speaking that was. Everything else was practically begging to be put out of its misery, machinery squealing, large chunks of metal falling with clangs and thuds, wires sparking. But none of the chaos surrounding them warranted their attention. All eight human eyes (and perhaps a ninth non-human one) rested on a dark-clad figure, walking out of the portal in a way that could only be defined by one term: epic.
The figure's face was obscured by a black cloth and goggles. His right arm grasped at his left, and his entire body was leaning to the right. Stan carefully got to his feet, doing his best not to groan as his joints cried out in protest. His nephew stood up as well, rubbing his head and asking in a near breathless tone, "Who is that?"
Stan's answer was as brutally honest as Dipper had ever heard him speak. "The Author of the Journals... My brother."
Said Author was still somewhat hobbling forward, until he came to a stop in front of a small book. With a small sound of protest he knelt down, grabbed the book after a moment, and slowly got back up, opening his coat a second later and sliding the book inside. Dipper's eyes widened as the man grabbed his arm again, and he heard him mumble a list of words that sounded an awful lot like alien profanity. "The... The Author... What?"
"Stanley Fitzgerald Pines, your timing is once again impeccable." the Author said, stepping forward once again and coming closer to Dipper's Grunkle. "I applaud you. You always are exactly on schedule." His masked face glared at Stan, who held his hands up and said, "Uh... I can't tell if you're being serious or not."
The Author shook his head. "Oh, I'm dead serious. Or, better put, deadly serious." His right hand went up to his face, and he single-handedly took his facemask off. Whatever face Stan saw seemed to shock him, but his body blocked Dipper's view so he couldn't see it, but he continued to stand off to the side. Stan held a hand out to his brother, and he said in a choked voice that Dipper had never heard before, "Ford... Ford, are you okay?"
"Does it look like I'm okay? I haven't slept in a week! I have a cladding ulcer on my face! Am I okay Stanley!?" The Author glared at Stan, stepping closer and further cementing the idea that he was not okay. Dipper looked over at his sister, who was stepping slowly towards Stan. "Ford... I'm so sorry."
Ford, who was apparently the Author, huffed, his right arm dropping from his left. "You know what 'sorry' ever did for anyone Stan? Saying you're sorry for this is like saying you're sorry for the murder of Blegdin the Bulging! You know what it does? Nothing! It's just a way of making villains feel better! Do you know how many people have said sorry before I straight up cut their heads off! I can tell you it's a calfin' ton if that's what your thinking!"
Dipper didn't exactly know what was going on, but he knew it wasn't good. Stan seemed to be at a loss for words, Soos would be no help in this situation, and Mabel was inching closer to seeing what the Author looked like. Dipper was too much in shock to move forward, and he was almost grateful for that when Mabel let out a loud gasp and cried, "What the- Are you alright?!"
All Dipper could see of the Author moving was his grey hair turning to face Mabel. His voice came a second later, and he said, "Great. Now you've brought a krazzin' kid into the mix Stan!" Contrary to what most people would think a young girl like Mabel would do, Dipper's sister instead walked up to Stan's brother, and looked up into his face.
"I'm Mabel." Was all she said, in a low voice. "Stanford Pines." Was the Author's short response, "A pleasure." Dipper held his breath for a moment. Finally, after months and months of waiting and searching, he knew the Author's name. Stanford Pines... Wait. Wasn't Stan Stanford? How did that work? And didn't Author-Stanford call Grunkle Stan Stanley? What was going on here?
It appeared that Mabel was thinking along those lines as well. She tilted her head to the right, her hair spilling over her shoulder, and she asked, "Wait. But you're Stanford Grunkle Stan." It was at that moment that Stan took a step back, and Dipper finally got to see what had shocked his family so badly.
On the side of Stanford's face, pulsing ever so slightly, was a deep purple mark, consuming the upper part of his cheek. Dipper caught himself staring at it, wondering what the texture was, and finding the odd urge to touch it growing. If it was painful Stanford didn't show it, he simply began to rant at his brother, his voice getting louder, and his face starting to turn the color of his injury.
"Let me guess. You thought you could get away with this because 'family is so important'! Well, excuse me that family has always left me behind!" Ford was now yelling at Stan, and for a second Dipper thought his Grunkle was just going to take it, but then Stan retaliated, "Family's done nothing for you? What about me?! Remember what my brother, my own twin did when my dad kicked me out?! You turned your back on me! And suddenly I'm the bad guy!?"
"You ruined my future!"
"You were a selfish prick!"
"I didn't ask for dad to kick you out!"
"Well you sure didn't try to stop him!"
"You try doing that! You know what he was like when he was angry!"
"You could have at least tried!"
"WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE STANLEY? REALLY?!"
"I DUNNO! CARED!"
"That's enough!" The two men, who were getting awfully close to each other with their fists, looked over at Mabel, who glared at the two of them with an intensity that Dipper hadn't seen since Mabel had taken over the Shack to win a bet against Stan. "You two are acting like a bunch of dumb-dumbs. You're brothers! You need to solve this like you love each other!"
For a moment Dipper thought they would listen to her, but then a second later Stan snapped, "Too bad Ford doesn't love me. Or anyone besides himself." Ford looked over at Stan, and Dipper suddenly realized he could see blood starting to ooze out of Ford's injury. "You take that back!" Ford shouted at Stan, and Stan retaliated an instant later with, "Make me!"
This was going to be a long night
Dipper looked at the left side of the room, where Stanford was busy writing furiously in his journal, which somehow still had extra room. His eyes then flicked over to the right, where Stan was standing, arms crossed and shoulders hunched. Stan was going to be boasting a black eye in the morning, and there was a bit of Ford's blood on the ground from when he punched him in the nose. Mabel had finally gotten them physically away from each other, but there was still not even a semblance of peace between the two of them.
Finally Dipper couldn't stand it, and he walked over to Ford, who glanced up at him with a scowl, and said in a quiet and reverent voice, "So... You're the Author of the Journals... That's... Sorry. But that's totally awesome! I've been looking for you all summer! At first I thought you were this Shapeshifter, and then I thought you might be old man McGucket, but you're totally awesome! I'd Di-" Dipper's voice escalated into a squeak, and he covered his mouth with his hands. Ford stared at him with shocked eyes, then he said, "Well, at least someone actually read my works."
Dipper nodded enthusiastically. "Well... I've only ever read the third one. That was all I had, Stan had the other two, but Gideon did mention a Journal one... So I'm not entirely surprised. I'm Dipper. Dipper Pines."
Ford reached his hand which was holding his pen up and rubbed a trail of blood from under his nose. "Stanford Pines, a pleasure. I take it you're my brother's son? Or grandson I suppose. To be honest, I didn't think Stan would be the settle down type." Dipper nodded, then shook his head. "Actually, Stan's just my Grunkle, my grandpa's his brother."
It was fascinating seeing the Author look confused. Dipper watched him glance at his reddened fingers, then say, "How in the Multiverse- Oh! Sherman! Of course!" Ford shook his head, then said, "I thought you meant me. And I know for a fact that can't be true. I've never even kissed a girl. A human one that is... I mean, I've kissed a girl, she was just an alien from another dimension..." He smiled at Dipper and added, "How is my brother by the way?"
"Oh, uh, pretty goood... Uh... I want to know everything about you!" Dipper blurted out the last part, and then cringed. Ford blinked, then said, "What's next, you're gonna want me to sign your face?"
"Would you?! I have a pen right here... Oh you're being sarcastic..."
Mabel couldn't stand it. First they were arguing, then they were in a full-blown fistfight. She knew that Stan wasn't the nicest person, but the Author was his brother! Weren't siblings supposed to get along? If Dipper had done what Ford had done... Mabel would be upset, but she wouldn't have sucker-punched him. She watched Dipper walk over to Ford, and she knew what she had to do.
She stepped over to her Grunkle, and said in a somewhat nervous voice, "Uh... Grunkle Stan? Hey. Are you okay?"
"He's just like he was. I thought he'd grow out of it." Stan snapped, glancing back at his brother, then down at Mabel. "He was like this last time, all 'My needs are more important than everyone else'. 'I'm Stanford Pines and I know what's best'. He's a selfish, stuck-up-"
"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel exclaimed, folding her arms and glaring at her uncle. "That's no way to talk about your brother." Stan glared at her and hissed, "If he even wants to be my brother anymore." Mabel shook her head, crossing her arms. "Well, are you going to show him that he's wrong?" She asked, doing her best not to sound as frustrated with Stan as she felt.
Stan glared at her, then said, "What are you talkin' about kid?" His niece shook her head, then said, "Well... If you're nice to him, show him that you're smart, loving, caring, awesome, and you forgive him, then you'll be in the right and he'll be wrong!" Mabel threw her arms in the air and smiled at him, who got a sadistic gleam in his eyes. "I'm right and he's wrong..."
"Yeah! And you can lord it over his head for forever!" Mabel breathed a sigh of relief as Stan smiled at her. "That sounds good. What do I need to do?"
A week into Ford's new life in his old dimension brought Stan to his door. Since the portal incident Stan had been nothing but courteous towards him, and for someone who had survived off of watching people and judging how they acted, it was offputting for Ford. Watching Stan be affectionate towards the kids, treat Ford with civility he had once thought was only reserved for mothers, Ford was absolutely sure that he had a plan up his (technically Ford's, since the suit was given to him) sleeves.
Ford's face was... not really getting any better. Stan had 'politely' asked if he'd like to get it checked out, but Ford had laughed (not so politely) and said, "Well, if you know any doctors with special training with Hoporititis be my guest. I think I got it Stan." He then shut himself in his room and refused to speak to anyone but Dipper for a few days.
All in all, Ford had spent eight days in his dimension, and Stan had seen him five times. Which, admittedly, was four more times than he had seen him than the first ten years of their separation. But, with the sporadic sightings, Stan began to realize, he... didn't really know his brother at all.
Ford was still quiet and reserved, but Stan had seen a side of him that no one else did (to his knowledge) a side full of sarcasm, wit, and a tongue ready to roast you at a drop of a hat. The Ford stan saw now was... well, he looked like he would kill you if you so much as glanced at him funny. The gun he kept out at all times didn't help matters either.
The most Stan learned about him was from Dipper, who would rant about him to Mabel, spouting out new information that Ford had told him, mentioning highly advanced systems as commonplace, and having nothing but praise for the famed Author. But, of course, Dipper shut up the moment he noticed Stan, and their relationship began to get a little strained.
Maybe that's why Stan decided to go on a road trip.
"A week! You were gone for a week!"
Mabel cringed as she heard her Grunkle's voice carrying up the stairs. Even though she knew they were in the kitchen Ford was still louder than the rest of the house. Mabel couldn't imagine how loud it sounded to Stan. He probably didn't even need his hearing aides to let him understand his brother. "Do you know what could have happened?! There are dark forces out there Stan! Dark forces that want me! And the kids!"
Stan's answer was quieter, but Mabel could still hear it clearly, even as she was holding two of her stuffed animals up to her ears. "I don't care about your 'dark forces' Ford! We were fine! I took them on a little road trip 'round the state, no harm done. Their parents will be thrilled they did something they can actually talk about!"
There was silence after that. And it seemed like the entire house was leaning close to the older Pines twins, awaiting Ford's response. But whatever he said must have been only for Stan's ears, as the next thing Mabel heard from them was Stan yelling, "I'm the irresponsible one?! Who built the portal to the crazy nerd dimension!? Who still won't tell me what's going on with you?! For flips sake Ford what the heck is wrong with you!?"
"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!" The very sound of Ford yelling at the top of his lungs let Mabel know that his statement was false. "Stanley there are very real threats out there that could have hurt you! That could have hurt the kids! For Axolotl's sake, you have a kriffin' gash in your side, and remaining toxins in your blood!" There was another moment of silence, then Ford said, in a voice that was still loud but less angry, "Stan, have you ever been worried about people? I mean, really worried. When I woke up all of you were gone..."
Mabel couldn't help it anymore. She slipped off of her bed and started to head downstairs. There was no more discussion between her Grunkles until she got down to the kitchen, where Ford was just standing in next to the sink, and Stan on the other side of the table. "Stanley, when I woke up none of you were there." Ford said as soon as Mabel got to the room. "There was no note, at least not one that I found, there were no people that you had told. I called up that Wendy kid... She just said that she had the next week off... Dipper wasn't here, Mabel had vanished... I thought that Bill... That people from my past had caught up with me."
Ford ran a hand down his face, then he noticed Mabel. "Mabel? What are you doing here?" He asked, and Mabel had to surpress a squeak. "Oh... Me? I was just... thirsty. I haven't had Mabel-juice in a while..."
There was an uncomfortable silence, then Stan said, "Uh... You can come in... Ford and I were just leaving... Weren't we Ford?" He stared at his brother, who just watched Mabel, who stared right back. "Yes... I'm heading down to the basement... there's something..."
"Why can't you guys just get along?!" Mabel suddenly blurted out. "What happened to you? What happened to your relationship!? I get that Stan was a jerk, and I get that you didn't talk really well Grunkle Ford, but why can't you just forgive each other? If I was mean to Dipper he'd forgive me! And I love Dipper! What's wrong with old people?"
Her two Grunkles stood there in shock, both of them staring at her upset face. Stan took a step towards her and knelt down in front of her, wincing ever so slightly. "Mabel, sweetie... Listen... it's not always like this." Mabel looked into his face, then spat out, "Then why do you always fight? I thought you loved each other."
"We do love each other..." Stan said, before even realizing what he was saying. All thoughts of snarky comments left both Stan and Ford's minds. Ford walked over to the two of them, "It's just that... Mabel..." The two of them shared a glance, then Ford said, "We haven't spent a lot of time together in quite some time. We've both changed a lot. You wouldn't understand right now... Because you've never done this before."
Mabel nodded, her sad face remaining, then she said quietly, "Well... You've never done this before...
"I just want you to be happy."
"So it's actually an allergic reaction to a rather harmless creature," Ford said, rubbing his hands together. "I was in a fairly common kind of dimension when a Hopo leaped on top of me. You'd be surprised how often I got jumped on." Stan shook his head, chuckling a bit. "So is it like a mouse? Or rabbit?"
Ford let out his own chuckle. "Somewhat... It's a dragon-like creature about the size of a hamster. They normally just leave you with a small gash, but I happen to be allergic to them. It's rather annoying." He smiled at his brother, for the first time in a long time. "This was about a week before I arrived here. My entire face was purple in the beginning. Luckily for me it's not a fatal allergy."
"Yeah, I wouldn't be able to laugh at it. You were bitten by a hamster dragon? That's awesome!" Stan laughed, running a hand down his face while Ford glared at him. "I wasn't... I wasn't bitten by it... It just literally landed on my face and this happened." At that Stan laughed even harder, Ford's face was tinged red along with his purple part. "Seriously?"
Ford sighed, a smirk growing on either side of his mouth. "Yeah... Seriously."
"That's impossible. Cause it's hilarious." Stan said, shaking his head. "Nothing you ever do is serious Ford. You should know that by now, you're a Pines. We're never serious. Take Dipper for example; have you ever seen him talking to a girl? Comedy gold! Makes you look smooth." Ford blinked at his brother, then said, "Well, at least that means you owe me five bucks."
"You remember that? Maybe you aren't so lost!"
Hello friends! I have returned! It's been a while.
These past couple of weeks have been really busy for me. Election stuff (ugh... don't even start that with me... Sometimes I almost wish I lived under a monarchy...), school, work, family... it's been busy and fun for me. But I have written this, and now I'm sharing it with you guys!
Writing about Stan and Ford arguing is actually a way for me to get my own stress out. When they're yelling at each other, that's really me just yelling at the rest of the world. Mabel wishing they could just get along... I live in America people, take a guess at what that's about. Dragons the size of hamsters? That's just something I really wish existed, there's nothing really there to look into.
If you guys liked this please concider telling me about it! Thanks for the review Anonymous, I'll try to get to those prompts soon. I've actually started working on another story/one-shot/two-shot. It may or may not be a crossover/au. I'm sure you guys'll like it.
Have a great rest of your day! Stay safe!
-BrilliantLight
