NESSIE'S POV

Once Jacob had left to talk to Sam I ate with River… Well, I "ate". He doesn't know that I took a few bites and left the rest on the plate. I had devoured an elk earlier which will keep me satisfied for days. I cleaned up the lasagna and put it in the fridge.

River and I hung out in the living room, talking about random things. School, friends, what his plans are after high school… I even managed to get it out of him that he did, in fact, have a little bit of a crush on Misty. He admitted that he didn't think he'd act on it, though. After all, she is 18 and at this age, a 2 year age difference matters. He's not wrong. Then he asked me about Jacob and I. I was able to quickly change the subject because the truth is that I have no idea. There is no use getting his hopes up that his parents might work it out.

After River went to bed I spent some more time agonizing over everything that happened today while I wiped down the kitchen counters with a cloth. Those two amazing kisses… not to mention our night together, recently. I grab a long-stem glass from the cabinet and cork a bottle of chilled chardonnay from the wine fridge. My heart starts pounding just thinking about it. I pour myself a large serving and take a few relaxing gulps before turning off the lights and going up to the master bedroom.

I turn the lights on, half dimmed. I then check my phone to see if I've received any messages from Emma. I'm almost certain she's blocked my number. I look at my watch. It's late. I scroll through my contacts and call Fox.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I whisper and take a sip.

"Hey, you," Fox answers. He sounds tired.

"Hey, you," I reply, "how bad does she hate me right now?" I ask and sit down at the soft chair in front of the vanity. I look at my hair in the mirror, pulling on one of the curls and watch it bounce back.

"Well… look, Nessie" Fox sighs, "I did something."

"Oh no," I reply flatly. The last time he did something he let Emma colour her beautiful blonde hair bright purple. It took forever to wash out. "What'd you do?" I ask, swirling the wine around in the glass, watching it coat the sides.

"We took a birthday trip to New York City."

"Oh. That's fine," I shrug.

"You know… For her champagne birthday," he says.

What? Oh fuck.

"Is she drunk?" I sigh.

"This technically is not my fault… I took her shopping. Got her a few things at Tiffany's, a few things from Saks. We had champagne at The Plaza. One glass."

"Then what happened, Foxworth?" I ask sternly.

"She got into the mini bar," he said sheepishly.

"You just let her empty out the mini-bar?" I ask, confused.

"I was kinda out at the time..."

"Where the fuck were you?!" I yell through the phone.

"I bumped into an old friend," he clears his throat.

"Oh… rich… you left her alone at the Plaza even though she was already upset with me to go fuck one of your New York whores. Meanwhile, she gets smashed" I put my glass down on the vanity and pinch the bridge of my nose. I look down at the half-empty glass.

"She was fine when I left her! She's technically an adult, Ness. Has been since she was 13… Just like her mom," he replies, attempting to justify his irresponsible parenting. Just as I did, Emma grew to her full maturity once she got her period. Yet, I still could not see her as an adult. I finally understood what my parents went through with me. I hate that. Edward enjoys it.

"Emma never drinks, Foxworth. That's not her. She sips tea and reads Chaucer and fucking knits… our daughter is basically an 82-year-old woman."

"I'll give you that, she's very well behaved for the hellfire she was born from," Fox agrees.

"Is she okay?" I sigh.

I hear Fox knock on a door that I assume is to a bathroom, "honey… you okay?" he asks.

I wince, hearing Emma vomit in the background.

"Fox? … Fox? … Hello?"

"Yeah?" he sighs.

"Can I talk to her?" I ask.

"She's… No… I don't think that's a good idea, Ness… Maybe tomorrow," he replies.

"She's my daughter. Put her on, now," I frown, taking a sip of wine.

"I'm hanging up, Ness. I need to check on her. I promise I'll have her call you tomorrow."

"Fox, don't you hang up this pho-... Fox? Foxworth? Hello?" I glance down to see that the call has ended. Fuck.

Perfect. That's just perfect. In an attempt to be a good mom to one kid, I am failing the other. I turn my head from side to side, trying to relieve the tension in my neck. At least Jacob doesn't think I'm a bad mother… even if he's wrong and that is exactly what I am. I swirl the wine around the glass again, tapping my fingers on the side of the glass.

I stand up from the vanity and walk over to the bay windows and look out to the ocean. The sounds of the waves are relaxing. I stare at the moon, feeling the pull. It's always been this way. If I followed the moon's pull it would take me right to Jacob. Sometimes I feel as though I am just as imprinted on him as he is supposed to be on me. I suddenly feel too warm. My mind begins to replay that amazing kiss we shared before he left.

I wonder if Jacob is up thinking about me too. I finish off the last of the chardonnay in two gulps. Feeling courageous, I pick up my phone from the vanity and open the text conversation between Jacob and myself.

You: Hey, you up?

I type out the message and then leave the phone on the vanity. I pace the room. Nessie, what are you doing? He's probably asleep. I feel my face flush when I realize that tomorrow morning Jacob will awake to an obvious 'you up?' text. Then my phone vibrates. I rush back to the vanity.

Jacob: Yeah. Is River okay?

I exhale a breath of relief.

You: River is fine.

Jacob: OK. What's up?

I stare at the glowing screen in the dim light of the master bedroom for a few moments. Do I dare? Fuck it. Here we go.

Nessie: DTF?

I type it quickly and hit send. I place the phone back down on the vanity and begin to pace the room again. I immediately feel like an idiot. What am I doing? Did I really just do that? How desperate am I? I'm such a loser. I hurry back to the vanity. Nothing yet… Oh, god. I continue to pace for a few seconds longer. Still no reply. I imagine he is reading the message thinking that I am the biggest desperate loser. Out of frustration, I retrieve the phone and send another message.

You: Hello?

I clench my teeth together tightly feeling irritated. How long is he just sitting there, looking at the message? Just say no! 'No' is better than nothing.

Jacob: On my way.

My stomach fills up with millions of chaotic butterflies once I realize that he is on his way to me. I start pacing again but this time not out of anxiety but giddy anticipation. Then I catch a glimpse of my reflection on the vanity mirror. Black tights, a giant ugly plaid shirt; hair, a mess. Oh god.

I frown and pull the plaid shirt off and hurry over to my travel bag and start digging through it for something nice to wear. It doesn't have to be sexy but just… not this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck… I didn't know I'd be staying this long. I didn't know I'd be sleeping with Jacob. I didn't pack enough. Everything in here was what I had in the trunk on my first trip out here. I dig through the side pocket of the travel bag that I usually store clothing I've already worn… Where the hell is that white nightgown I wore when we slept together? It should be clean… it was only on for like 20 minutes. I yank everything out of the bag. Augh, I bet I'll find it tomorrow when I don't need it. This is so frustrating. At home I have drawers full of sexy lingerie… mostly unworn… how ironic.

I huff and cross my arms… I guess it doesn't matter. I pull a light grey robe from the pile. It's not as if I'll be wearing anything for long, anyhow. I shimmy out of my black tights and pull the robe on over my bra and panties-which don't even match-and then shove the pile under the bed. I got back to the vanity mirror… Okay, I can work with this.

I walk back to the bay windows and sit down on the cushioned bench that follows the shape of the indented wall and pull my legs up to my chest to await Jacob's arrival. That's when I notice how prickly my legs are.

Dammit! At Least I am prepared for this. I hurry into the ensuite bathroom where I sit on the edge of the tub and turn on the faucet and quickly shave my legs. I pat them dry with a hand towel and go back to the bedroom.

I sit down on the window bench again. Then I wait for 10 minutes. Then I wait or 20 minutes… I check my phone… It's been 30 minutes. How far is the garage from here? I can't remember. I lay down on the bench and rest my eyes.

When I awake it is to the sounds of birds chirping. I sit up, at first confused as to where I am but then it all comes rushing back to me. I check my phone. It's morning.

Jacob: On my way.

No new messages. Was he on his way? Was it all just a cruel joke? I stand and tighten the robe around me. I walk into the hallway and peek into River's room. He's still sleeping. It's really early. The sun is only just coming up.

I go down to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. My mind starts to run through all the scenarios as to why Jacob didn't make it here last night. I'm a little worried… Then I see his truck from the kitchen window… His truck parked in front of the beach house.

"The fuck?" I mumble to myself and walk out the door and down the stairs without even bothering to put on shoes. Now I'm mad. I look through the window of his truck but he isn't in there. I look over to Leah's house down the beach wondering if for some reason he went over there. That is when I see Jacob, standing down by the shore. The water is calm this morning. Not a wave in sight.

I cross my arms and walk down to the sand. He is skipping rocks on the still water.

Before I can even say something he turns his head, seeing me come towards him, "I got here and just… didn't know what to say," he says. His face looks weary as though he had not slept.

"Probably could have said 'I'm here'," I reply, standing behind him as he turns his head back to the water and skips his last rock.

"Something's happened," Jacob says, his voice strained. He turns his body to face me. He exhales, looking at me barefoot in my grey robe, "god, you're so beautiful," he says with his voice full of pain. I haven't seen him like this since his father, Billy, died.

I uncross my arms and I feel my face soften, "okay, you're scaring me, now. What happened?"

"Brielle's pregnant," he says. His voice shakes a little.

"You need to start from the beginning," I reply. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Remember when you asked if I ever had any… visitors?" he asks.

I nod, "oh… I see… So Brielle is one of your 'visitors' and she's pregnant," I reply, "and I presume by the gutted expression on your face, it's yours."

He nods.

"Okay… congratulations?" I don't know what to say to that. I wasn't expecting this news and it's not the best scenario I could have imagined while we're working things out but I hardly see why he looks as though the world just ended.

"There's more," he swallows and momentarily looks back to the calm water, "she came to me last night asking for money," he sighs, "money so that she could end the pregnancy… She said that she doesn't want to do this alone."

"That's her choice, Jacob," I reply.

"But… if she didn't have to do it alone, she'd keep it…" he continues.

Then it hits me. All the pieces fall into place. Goddammit.

A harsh laugh escapes my lips and I cross my arms, wrapping them tightly around myself, "you're going to marry her, aren't you?" I reply.

"Nessie… I... I don't have a choice. I couldn't just let her do it," he says, "but I owe you an explanation."

"You know what. Whatever, Jacob. You don't owe me a thing," I say, backing away from him, going towards the beach house.

"Nessie," Jacob calls after me. I am still close enough to see tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"Oh, and congratulations! I really mean it. Congratulations on the new baby. Congratulations on the wife-to-be… I'm happy for you. Have a good life!" I turn my back to him and continue back to the house.

I can't believe I shaved my legs for this.

New chapter soon!

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