Something Beautiful
"What are you doing? It's two o'clock in the morning." Sean screwed his eyes up, walking into the kitchen, having noticed his wife gone from bed and eventually finding her on his way to get a drink.
"Oh, I couldn't sleep." Jude shrugged.
"Well obviously, but what are you actually doing?" Sean asked her, walking over to the table.
"I'm working on something." Jude said briefly.
"You're always working on something." Sean nodded, leaning down and kissing her cheek as she smiled.
"Well I'm a busy lady." Jude nodded as Sean looked at the table to see what she was working on specifically.
"I can't even work out what you're doing. I'm very confused." Sean said, "I see a canvas, paintbrushes, clothes?" He questioned, "The clothes are throwing me off." He nodded to her.
"It's a dress." Jude nodded.
"You painting it?" He laughed a little, walking over to the fridge.
"No." Jude scoffed, "This was the dress that I was… raped in." She nodded as Sean looked over at her, "I… I don't really know why I've kept it as long as I have." She shook her head as Sean walked back over.
"So… what are you doing with it?" He asked curiously.
"I'm turning it into a canvas painting." Jude nodded to him, "Yeah, I spoke with my therapist about it. She kinda suggested it and I liked the idea." She said.
"Is that something you really wanna do?" Sean wondered.
"Yeah." Jude said, "I don't think I'd ever be comfortable wearing it again. I wish I could be. So this seems like a better idea." She nodded.
"Are you gonna… hang it up?" Sean asked her.
"Yeah, in the spare bedroom." Jude nodded to him, noticing he looked a little concerned, "What?" She shook her head.
"Is that something you wanna see when you go in there?" Sean asked, "Is that not just… a reminder? Slapping you in the face?" He asked her.
"It's a reminder when I see the dress, yeah. But I'm turning it into something that I love doing so… I'm not gonna think of it like that anymore." Jude said as he nodded slowly, "Damn, don't look too excited about it." She said sarcastically, shaking her head.
"Well sorry, I just… I find it a little weird, that's all." Sean shrugged, "I know you got your methods and the ways you deal with things, but don't you think this is a little too far? I mean, I didn't even know you still had it. Why'd you keep it?" He asked.
"I don't know." Jude shrugged, "I really don't. But I'm trying to show myself that I don't have to be reminded of it all the time. I can turn it into something beautiful. I already have an idea in my head. I think the girls will love it."
"I'm sorry but I just find that strange." Sean put his hands up.
"Well it's not for you." Jude spat as he looked at her.
"Yeah well every time I walk into the spare bedroom and I see it, I'm gonna think of what happened to you." He shook his head.
"Ok, just to be clear, I'm not just pinning the dress to the wall." She assured him, "I'm just using the fabric from the dress and putting it on the canvas as a background."
"Why do you need to do anything with it?" Sean shook his head, "We should burn it. That'd be a good healing process."
"You just don't get it." Jude shook her head with frustration.
"I do, actually-"
"No, you don't." Jude looked at him angrily, "I'm sorry if these things disturb you, or it makes you a little uncomfortable when I bring it up, but if I don't do these things, I'll let it get the best of me. I'm trying to always think of the positives. I'm trying to make sure that when I see this dress, I don't see what happened to me, I see something beautiful instead." She nodded to him, "So, I'm sorry if you don't like that. But I'm doing it."
"Jude." Sean sighed.
"Just go back to bed. Leave me alone." She shook her head as Sean sighed, leaving the kitchen and going back to bed.
"I actually think I might murder him. I think it's possible." Cassie nodded, sitting on a park bench with her sister, having met her after work with the kids. James, Sofia and Chase were playing happily on the swings, the jungle gym and everything in between whilst they sat and had a coffee.
"What is he doing that's so bad?" Thea laughed a little.
"He just can't sit still. It's honestly like having two children. I came home from work yesterday and he'd bought an x-box. I told him I didn't want it downstairs, I didn't want Chase playing it, and what do I see this morning when I come downstairs? Chase playing it." Cassie shook her head.
"What's wrong with a video game?" Thea questioned.
"It was violent and… X-rated." Cassie scoffed, "And I told Theo how I felt about it the night before and he just didn't bother listening to me." She shook her head, "In one ear and out the damn other."
"I think you gotta cut him some slack, Cass." Thea smiled a little, "He's clearly restless. Missing work. Bored in the house all day. You'd be the same."
"No I wouldn't." Cassie shook her head childishly.
"I forgot you're perfect." Thea nudged her with a smile as Cassie rolled her eyes.
"I know he's struggling. He hates not being at work. There's only so much I can say to him. But if he's not resting and rehabbing the shoulder like he's supposed to, he's just gonna delay the whole thing." Cassie shook her head.
"Well that is true." Thea agreed.
"Where's Dominic tonight?" Cassie asked her.
"He's with his brother." Thea nodded, "He was gonna take the kids but they wanted to come here instead so I got lucky." She said.
"Why is he going to his brothers?" Cassie asked.
"Helping him move house." Thea nodded.
"Always a pain." Cassie said as Thea nodded, "How's things going with you and Lucia?" She asked as Thea laughed a little.
"You're acting like I'm dating her." Thea chuckled as Cassie smiled, "It's good. She's really nice. And it's got me out of my comfort zone too. We're kinda similar."
"Yeah, I was talking to Theo about that. You guys are pretty similar." Cassie nodded.
"We are." Thea said, "It's just weird having like… a friend." She laughed a little.
"It's not weird. It's good." Cassie smiled, "It's an excuse to get out the house too, which is also good for you." She nodded.
"Yeah, it is. Haven't told her about being sort of an alcoholic with borderline personality disorder." She admitted, "Selfishly it's nice not having to tell her, so I can pretend that I don't have it." She said.
"You don't need to pretend. There's no shame in it." Cassie shook her head.
"I know that but… it's like playing house when you're little, and you think it's all perfect. It's nice just to be like that for an hour out of my day." She nodded.
"It's also not realistic, for anyone at all, to have a perfect life." Cassie nodded, "I mean this girl's father is Rio. I'm sure she isn't perfect."
"She seems it." Thea said, "It'll come out eventually. We're actually still getting to know one another." She nodded.
"Well I think it's good." Cassie nodded, "She seems really nice and… maybe she didn't get a dad out of all of this but she's got a good friend in you and that's nice to know." She smiled as Thea nodded.
"Look at Chase, he's getting so big." Thea smiled, watching her nephew running around, excitement galore in the park of course.
"He is." Cassie smiled.
"Are we giving him another sibling soon?" Thea smiled to her.
"Not soon, no." Cassie shook her head, "Theo would have me pregnant tomorrow if I agreed, though." She nodded, "He wants four kids." She turned to Thea.
"Oh, don't do that to yourself. No way." Thea laughed.
"I'm not. Two is fine." Cassie nodded, "I said maybe once Chase is in school in a couple years. So he's a little more grown up and so that I've advanced hopefully in my career. I don't wanna be stopping and starting all the time." She shook her head.
"You and your career." Thea rolled her eyes.
"What? It's important to me." Cassie said.
"I know, and it should be." Thea nodded.
"I wanna be detective." Cassie nodded to her.
"Well I know you well enough to know that you'll get there, eventually." Thea said.
"I won't if I keep sprouting kids out every few years." Cassie shook her head as Thea chuckled, "He's ok about it, though. He doesn't mind waiting."
"Well that's good." Thea said, "Sofia starts gymnastics next week." She nodded.
"Good for her." Cassie smiled, "She excited about it?"
"I guess. I did what mom did with us when we were little, I asked her if there was any sort of clubs or sport she wanted to do and that's what she said." Thea shrugged.
"She'll enjoy it." Cassie nodded, "You heard from New York?" She asked as Thea shook her head.
"No, not since a couple days ago. You know she falls off the face of the planet sometimes." Thea said.
"I wish they didn't live so far away. I like to know she's doing ok." Cassie nodded.
"Yeah, me too." Thea said, "But I'm sure she is. She'll be working on a project or planning a meeting with important people. She's way fancier than you or I." She smiled.
"Yeah and I don't mind." Cassie shrugged as Thea nodded.
"Me neither." Thea smiled, looking on at the kids playing together. It was nice to be out, to enjoy the fresh air and chat with her sister. To have a little bit of calm in their lives, which they all knew was rare.
