Anxious Chatting


"Hey, it's only me." AJ called, walking into Thea's house early in the morning, walking through to the kitchen where Thea was clearing up after breakfast.

"Look at this." Thea pointed to the kitchen table where her messy children had left their finished breakfast before Dominic took them to school.

"Oh, yeah. I don't miss this." AJ smiled as Thea rolled her eyes.

"How hard is it not to spill milk all over the place?" Thea questioned, dumping the dishes into the sink, trying to clear the table.

"They are children." AJ laughed a little.

"Messy children." Thea nodded, "It's because Sofia will hold her spoon out with her cereal on it, and she'll have a full conversation whilst holding it, so it ends up going everywhere." Thea shook her head as AJ smiled.

"Do you want some coffee?" AJ smiled, walking over to the coffee pot, ignoring her daughter's rant."

"Yes, please." Thea nodded longingly, cleaning the kitchen table whilst AJ brewed some coffee.

"Yeah I used to be real pissed about having two days off and spending them cleaning up after you and your sisters." AJ nodded to Thea, "It gets worse when they get older, by the way." She smiled as Thea nodded.

"I figured." Thea said, "How are you anyway? Glad to have your morning brightened up by me?" She asked sarcastically.

"Always." AJ nodded, pouring them some coffee, "I just thought I'd come see how you are. I'm also anxious about going back to work and sort of need a pep talk. Your dad is good but… it's good to hear a second voice sometimes." She admitted as Thea nodded to her.

"Of course." Thea said, "You start back tomorrow?" She asked as AJ nodded, sitting down at the table.

"Yeah. I think I'm more nervous about what other people are gonna do or say to me. Are they gonna stare? Are they gonna come talk to me? I'm just… I'm nervous about the unexpected." AJ nodded to her as Thea sat down.

"You're a really respected person at your work." Thea reminded her, "I don't think anyone will be pointing and laughing."

"Oh, I know that." AJ nodded, "I guess it's scary to be going back there and seeing his office, seeing my office where he took me. It's gonna be a little difficult." She said.

"Yeah but it's just the initial confrontation of it all, right? I felt the same when I went back to work. I know it's not really the same thing but… I knew everyone at the hospital was aware of what happened to me and why I was out of work for so long. I felt scared and worried that they'd treat me different or look at me differently. They didn't. In fact, no one really batted an eye." She nodded.

She always had time to chat with her mother and ease her worries. After all, her mother had done the same for her all her life.

"I know it's gonna work out fine and I'm just… worrying for nothing but I guess it's just the anticipation of it." AJ said, "And your dad said he'd walk me into my office and he'd come see me at lunch but I think I just need to face it on my own."

"Yeah, maybe but you don't have to. There's nothing wrong with dad coming to see you at lunch." Thea said as AJ nodded.

"I know." AJ said.

"You're an important asset to the floor you work on. I think everyone is just gonna be super glad you're back. Don't you think?" Thea nodded.

"Maybe." AJ nodded to herself, "My head is just running away with it, I guess. Making up scenarios that probably won't even happen."

"What's the scenarios?" Thea asked.

"I just don't know what people will ask me. If they'll ask me anything." AJ said.

"They probably won't. Just… try not to overthink it. That's the only thing that's making you panic about it." Thea nodded.

"I am glad to be going back, though. I just wanna get stuck straight into work." AJ nodded.

"I know but don't panic if people just check in with you. There's nothing wrong with people wanting to know how you are. It's a nice thing to do. I know you can get a little defensive in those situations." She said.

"No I don't." AJ defended as Thea raised a brow, "Oh… well, maybe." She mumbled as Thea smiled.

"You'll be fine." Thea nodded, reaching over and rubbing her mother's hand, "You're the queen of the brave face." She said.

"Yeah, that weighs you down as you get older." AJ admitted.

"You still execute it perfectly." Thea assured her as AJ smiled.

"Well that's good to know." AJ nodded, "How are you?" She asked Thea, "Besides from the messy kitchen." She smiled as Thea laughed a little.

"I'm ok." Thea nodded, "Good and bad days, I guess." She said, "The good thing is I now acknowledge it. If I'm having a bad day I recognise it a lot better than what I did before." She nodded.

"That's good." AJ nodded with a small smile.

"I gave myself a slap on the wrist last night for not going to therapy." Thea said, "It's still kinda difficult for me."

"I don't think there's a person out there who doesn't find therapy difficult in the beginning. It's not what you're used to. I remember when Jude first went to her therapist, she hated it, she hated the feeling of it, having to sit there and just talk about being miserable and what not, but… then she saw the result of it down the line." AJ said as Thea nodded.

"Yeah, I guess it's cause I'm still new to it all." Thea nodded, "I'll just have to get used to it."

"You will." AJ nodded simply, taking a sip of her coffee as Thea smiled.


"Hey, guys." Sean came into the kitchen, watching as Jude sat with the girls having dinner.

"Hi, daddy." Mirren said immediately whilst Leela sat playing with her food, "Daddy, have you had dinner?" She questioned immediately.

"No." Sean chuckled a little, "No, but I can get some a little later." He assured her, walking over and kissing her cheek, kissing Leela too who handed him a carrot, "Oh, thanks." Sean smiled, looking over at Jude who wasn't looking at him. They hadn't really spoken much since their fight the previous night.

"Do you want my carrots?" Mirren asked Sean.

"No, I'm good." Sean assured her, "You guys eat it yourselves. Carrots make you see good in the dark, you know." He nodded as Mirren looked at him, unconvinced, "That's why you give them to Rudolph."

"Oh." Mirren raised her eyebrows, turning to Jude who just nodded with a smile.

"Were you good at daycare today?" Sean asked as Mirren nodded.

"I was but Leela wasn't." Mirren said as Leela looked at Mirren, unbothered, too young to care, "She was crying because… because she didn't want to nap." She said as Sean nodded.

"Damn, aren't sisters supposed to keep each other's secrets?" Sean smiled, looking over at Jude who wasn't saying anything, "How was mommy's day?" He asked, looking over at Jude who looked back at him.

"It was fine." Jude said briefly, standing up from the table, walking over into the kitchen to put her plate as Sean watched her.

"You still not talking to me?" Sean asked her quietly.

"No." Jude shook her head, walking out of the kitchen as Sean sighed to himself, looking over to the girls who were finishing their dinners.


"They're asleep." Sean said, later that night walking into the kitchen where Jude was sitting working on her project. They'd passed ships all night, barely seeing one another even in the same house. He knew he had hurt her anyway, but the silent treatment definitely confirmed it.

"Ok." Jude nodded, keeping her eyes on her project.

"What's that you're doing?" Sean asked her, walking over as she looked up at him.

"You know what I'm doing." Jude shook her head as he looked at the canvas.

"Wait… is that… was that the dress?" He raised his eyebrows as Jude nodded.

"Yeah." Jude said as Sean looked at it with amazement. She'd used the fabric of the dress as a base for the canvas, and had painted a very intricate picture of a hand holding a butterfly, with more butterflies around it. He suddenly realised what she meant by turning something devastating into something beautiful. Because it was.

"That's… that's amazing." He shook his head.

"Give me a break." Jude shook her head, not believing he meant it.

"I'm serious." Sean said, looking at her as she just shook her head, "Jude, I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to be insensitive or… or to make you feel like this was something you shouldn't be doing. I mean… who am I to say how you deal with this?" He said, "I just… when you told me about it I just… I couldn't imagine being that strong."

"You're just kissing my ass." Jude shook her head.

"I'm not." He said, "I just thought of it as a reminder of what happened to you, I never… I never understood what you meant." He said, "I was just worried that you'd see it and it'd remind you of what happened, and I don't want that for you." He shook his head.

"I don't need the dress to be reminded of it, Sean." Jude said, "But yeah, I wanted to just turn what I would usually look at it with dread and fear, into something that… when I look at it, I smile instead." She said, "I don't expect you to understand it. You don't have to. But… you could at least pretend." She shook her head.

"I'm sorry." Sean nodded, sitting down beside her, "I guess when you told me I just… I didn't understand and I panicked. I just never want you to feel hurt or triggered by anything. You know I don't." He said as Jude looked at him.

"I know that." Jude nodded.

"This is really beautiful." He nodded, looking at the canvas.

"It's not finished yet." Jude said.

"It's amazing." He shook his head as she watched him. She knew he'd never intentionally hurt her. His words had come from a place of worry and concern. She knew that. It just got confused for him being unsupportive, and she knew he wasn't.

"Thank you." Jude nodded as he turned to her.

"You amaze me every day." Sean nodded, "I mean I… I would have burned this thing a long time ago. I wouldn't be able to face it." He said.

"Well it was buried at the bottom of my closet so… I've not really saw it much over the years." Jude said, "I think I'll enjoy looking at it better this way." She nodded to him.

"Yeah, I think so too." Sean said, "I'm sorry." He whispered as she shook her head.

"It's ok." Jude said, hugging into him as he kissed her head, "You really like it?" She smiled.

"I love it." Sean nodded, "And I think the girls will love it too." He said as Jude smiled.