Here's another Halloween related parody based on the episode: Shanghaied.
I decided to skip the Patchy scenes but I did do the alternate endings. Hope you enjoy it.
Lincoln and his friends are taking a hike in the woods on their weekend. However, Rusty wasn't too excited about it. "Lincoln, why do we have to be out here instead of playing video games at our place?"
"Because Rusty, we all agreed we'd get outside and try something new." Lincoln stated. "So now we're taking a hike."
"Well, I prefer if we rode in a limo."
"Incoming!" Zach suddenly yelled and pointed up. The kids looked to what Zach was pointing at and screamed, then got out of the way. A giant anchor landed.
"Holy shrimp!" Lincoln said surprised.
"Ah reckon the sky had a baby!" Liam said.
"That's not a baby, Liam." Stella said. "It's a giant anchor."
"I wonder where it came from." Clyde wondered.
"That thing almost crushed us! I'm gonna see where this leads to." Rusty started to climb onto the rope and follow it.
A few inches later...
"Ship!" Lincoln pointed.
"Lincoln, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?" Clyde said.
"No, look, a giant ship!"
The other kids looked and saw a giant black ship with a skull on it that was seen in the river. Clyde is shocked to see he was wrong while Rusty is not fazed.
"Great! Let's go!" Rusty said. "Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind."
"I don't know, Rusty." Zach said. "That ship has a spooky green glow around it."
"That's probably because it's good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right place." Rusty started to climb onto the ship.
"Rusty, wait!" Lincoln called. All six of them reached the top.
"All right, who owns this crate?" Rusty noticed a door that said "owner" and began to knock on it. "Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!"
Lincoln looked around the ship. "Doesn't this place seem familiar to you?"
"I don't know. Why?" Clyde said.
"I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell?"
Rusty rang the doorbell.
"Yes." Clyde answered.
"I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name." Lincoln walked past a barrel that said "Property of Great Grandma Harriet".
The old ghost lady, known as Grandma Harriet, came out the door, scaring Rusty. "Rawr!"
"No, no, it's not "Rawr!"
"I am Great Grandma Harriet!" The ghost lady said.
"That's it! Rusty, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!" Lincoln said, sounding stupid.
"Who be disturbing Great Grandma Harriet in her own lair?"
"It's Rusty." Zach said oblivious. "He wants to complain to you."
Grandma Harriet gave an evil look to Rusty as she waited for an answer.
"I...no, I don't." Rusty said nervously.
"Well, what about all that stuff about her having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?"
The ghost granny glared angrily at Rusty.
Rusty laughed nervously. "I never said that."
"Insulting a woman's ship be worse than insulting her mother!" Grandma Harriet said.
"No, no, wait, it was her mother you said was dirty, not her ship." Zach stated.
Grandma Harriet heard enough and shot fire out of her nose, frying up Rusty. The boy screamed. "Ouch."
Harriet looked over to the other kids. "You're next!"
They scream and jump off the ship.
"That was a close one." Lincoln said. But Grandma Harriet pulled the other five kids back onto the ship with her levitation power.
"Welcome back!"
The five kids scream and jump off the ship again.
"That was a closer one." Lincoln said. Grandma Harriet levitates then back onto the ship again.
"Welcome back!"
Once again, the five kids jump off the ship. Grandma Harriet brings them back on the ship once again.
"Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon?" Rusty said. "If you ask me, it's-"
The ghost mistress zapped Rusty again.
"So are you gonna try that again?" Harriet asked the five kids.
"Probably." Zach said.
Grandma Harriet zapped Rusty. "How about now?"
Zach began to speak. "Uhh…"
Rusty covered Zach's mouth. "No, no, they're not. Whew." Rusty got zapped again.
"Now listen." Grandma Harriet took out a "ghost rule book". "Whosoever sets foot on Great Grandma Harriet's ship, uninvited or otherwise, shall become members of her ghostly crew forever!" She closed the book. "And, Uhh-" She opened the book again. "-ever." She closed the book.
"Will we be getting business cards?" Rusty said sarcastically.
Harriet zapped Rusty. "Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind- numbing, and repetitive. Just like...watching internet videos."
Rusty was not having this. "Now you listen here, missy. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting!" He held up a pair of panties. Grandma Harriet sighed as she heard Rusty's complaints.
"Didn't someone ever tell you to put your trash in a trash can? I mean, seriously-" Grandma Harriet picked up Rusty. "Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me…" Harriet unzipped something in mid-air. "Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act?"
The ghost woman tossed the ginger haired boy into the Fly of Despair. Rusty screamed as he fell inside the Fly of Despair. The five friends watch Rusty disappear from sight with a clearly worried expression. Grandma Harriet closed the Fly of Despair. "Would anyone else like to enter the "Fly of Despair"?"
"No!" Lincoln said terrified. "We know our place now, Great Grandma Harriet!"
Terrified as well, Stella also agreed. "We'll do anything you say!"
Clyde, Liam, and Zach also agreed.
"Ok then. Lincoln and Bushhead (Clyde), you can...swab the deck!" Harriet gave them a mop and bucket.
"We're heading downtown to Royal Woods tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good and scary."
"Good and scary, got it!" Lincoln said.
Then she gave Stella an order. "Female one, you'll be serving desserts from the kitchen, like a chef." Harriet pointed to the kitchen.
"Better than mopping floors." Stella headed off to the kitchen.
"You!" Harriet pointed at Zach. "You'll be wiping windows." She tossed a sponge at him. "Yes, your spookiness."
Harriet looked at Liam. "And you, young man, I'll teach you how to sail a boat."
"Oh hot diggity dog, I've always wanted to sail a boat!" Liam said excitedly. "Next to ridin' a mechanical pig."
At night, the ship is sailing into town. Grandma Harriet is now wearing a captain's hat. "What a night be this! Crew, howl with me so that we might set the Seven Seas ablaze with fear!" She howled like a wolf. Clyde, Lincoln, and Stella howled too. Zach bleated like a sheep.
"Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!" Liam said.
Harriet, Lincoln, Stella, and Clyde howled like wolves again. Zach bleated like a sheep again.
"Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!" Liam hollered again. Grandma Harriet is about to howl again but Liam cuts her off.
"Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!"
Grandma Harriet is about to howl again but Liam cuts her off again.
"Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle!"
There's a long and awkward silence.
"Eh, that'll do." Harriet said. "Okay, White Haired One, since Southern One is working the navigation, it's up to you to find our first victim. Here, use this spyglass." She handed Lincoln a spyglass. "Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight!"
"Let's see who we can find." Lincoln spun the telescope on the ground. "Captain, there's a guy we can scare."
The telescope pointed to a big tough guy. Grandma Harriet stared wide-eyed, then nervously blew on the telescope, spinning it slightly to land on a little kid, which was Darcy.
Darcy spoke in a sing-song voice. "I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three!"
Grandma Harriet smiled. "Ahh, it does my heart good to see children out after dark. Southern One, take us behind those rocks."
"Moving behind the rocks!" Liam steered the ship, but scratched and tore it up through the rocky parts.
"Keep going." Lincoln told Liam. "You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Cap'n, we'll buff out those scratches."
The ghost lady looked annoyed. "All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal." Grandma Harriet scared Darcy from behind a rock.
"Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost crew!" She pointed to Lincoln and Clyde, who just stood there confused.
"Was that the signal?" Lincoln asked. "Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again."
"With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost crew!" Lincoln and Clyde come out, making ghost sounds, and Lincoln does a little trick with his fingers.
"How does he do that?" Clyde said in a spooky voice.
"Get back on the ship." Harriet ordered.
"It's still a mystery." Lincoln and Clyde head back.
"Those guys are dorks." Darcy said.
"Yes, but they're my dorks."
The ship is steered through rocks, tearing up the ship. Grandma Harriet had an annoyed expression as she rested her head in her hand.
"You're good! You're good! You're good!" Lincoln said.
Grandma Harriet goes through Royal Woods terrorizing citizens while her ship mates do stupid tricks. Zach and Clyde blew bubbles. The ship is still getting wrecked.
"You're good! You're good! You're good!" Lincoln said.
Liam and Lincoln attempted to fly but crashed. The ship is getting wrecked once again.
"You're good! You're good! You're good!" Lincoln said.
Then Stella and Lincoln tried to spin their heads like Harriet but ended up becoming ice skaters.
The kids are on Grandma Harriet's ship, sitting in a room.
"Why do you think Grandma Harriet asked us to wait in our bunk room?" Lincoln wondered.
"Maybe she's gonna give us a reward!" Clyde said.
"Like free desserts?" Stella said. "Her deviled cookies are actually pretty good."
"Or maybe Dairyland tickets?" Zach thought.
"Or a mechanical pig ride?!" Liam mentioned. The kids bounced excitedly. The elderly ghost opened the door.
"I've been thinking. Stop bouncing!" They stop. "This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's not really you so much as it is me."
"You're setting us free?" Lincoln asked with hope.
"Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner!" Harriet left. The kids screamed.
"Wait! I have an idea!" Clyde said.
"What is it?" Lincoln asked.
"Let's leave!"
"But the door is locked and the only way out is through the…makeup department." Lincoln pointed to a room full of makeup and customers.
"Let's do it." Zach said. Lincoln gulped. The kids ran through the department and got makeup on their faces. Liam even wore a mask, but it got removed and he got sprayed. Then they made it out of the department.
"I always hated going in there." Lincoln panted.
"Yeah." Clyde said.
Then Lincoln heard something strange. "Wait! Listen!" Grandma Harriet is in her room. She has a diary open.
"Dear diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that mystery sauce my cousin showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining slipper again. Remember the last time I lost my dining slipper, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever happen…" She noticed her slipper was missing. Lincoln and his friends make a run for it as Lincoln has the slipper. The ghost lady popped out in front of them. "Give me back my slipper! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!"
"Never!"
"Okay, then…" Harriet tried to zap her grandson, but Lincoln held up the sock as protection.
"Give it back!"
"No!"
The ghost and white haired boy pulled on the slipper. It began to tear.
"Wait, you're tearing out the cotton!"
"It would seem we have reached an impasse." Stella said.
"Female One is right." Harriet said. "Tell you what. You give me back the slipper, and I'll give you...three wishes."
"Make it six." Zach said.
"Four."
"Three. Take it or leave it."
"Okay...uhh, three. You get three wishes."
"Wow!" Lincoln said excitedly. "Three wishes, guys. Isn't that great?"
"Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier!" Zach said. The clock goes backwards one minute.
"Okay, you got two wishes left." Harriet told them. Zach smiled with embarrassment at an angry Lincoln.
Lincoln playfully slapped him. "Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Rusty were here to see this!"
Meanwhile, Rusty is still falling through the Fly of Despair until he fell through a hole and landed inside his house, onto his bed. "Boy, I'm glad that's all over."
Suddenly, he reappeared on the ship.
"Rusty! You're back!" Clyde said.
"Guess what? Grandma Harriet gave us three wishes!" Lincoln said. "Zach used the first one, and-" Lincoln realized he used the second wish. "-I guess I...just used the second one."
"Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess!" Rusty declared.
"No way!" Stella protested. "I deserve it more!"
"Well, I think I should get it because I didn't get a real wish!" Zach said. The kids start to argue over who gets the last wish.
"That's enough!" Grandma Harriet bellowed with annoyance. "Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." She uses the eeny-meenie-minie-mo method.
"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a victim by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and…" She finished up eenie-meenie-minie-mo. "You are it!" She stopped on Lincoln.
"Hurry, Lincoln! We're about to get eaten." Clyde reminded him. "What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?"
Lincoln thought. "Don't worry, Clyde. I've got it all figured out. She won't be able to eat us because...I wish that Grandma Harriet was a vegetarian!"
Grandma Harriet turned into a vegetarian and Lincoln and his friends appear in front of Lincoln's house, but you can only see their heads.
"Hooray!" They cheered.
"We're at my home!" Lincoln said.
"You did it, Lincoln!" Clyde said. "We're saved!"
"But why have we been turned into desserts?" Stella wondered as the group noticed their bodies have been turned into desserts. Stella was a chocolate eclair, Zach was a donut, Lincoln was a cinnamon roll, Clyde was a cupcake, Rusty was ice cream, and Liam was a pie. It's also revealed they're in a container and Grandma Harriet is in her kitchen.
"Hello children, like the gingerbread house I made?" She was referring to Lincoln's house, which was actually a dessert now.
"Gingerbread house? What's going on here?" Lincoln questioned.
"Hey, I get a wish too." Harriet mentioned. "I'm not allowed to eat meat, but I can still have desserts!"
The six kids screamed and bounced away in the container.
"Hey, get back with that!" The ghost lady chased them around the ship, which is now a hippie-themed Volkswagen with a main mast. There's a trippy background as well.
Different ending: Zach
"Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." Grandma Harriet used the eeny- meenie-minie-mo method, and then finished. "And you are it!" She stopped on Zach.
"Ok Zach, make your wish." Lincoln said.
"Umm…" Zach began to think.
"Wait, Zach." Stella interrupted. "Listen, I do not particularly want to be trapped here for all eternity. Eternity is a very long time...Understand?"
"Yeah Zach, you have to think carefully." Lincoln assures.
Zach thinks, and his brain ejects toast like a toaster. "Okay! I've got it!"
"Thou wish is granted." Harriet granted his wish. Zach was holding a small globe world and Grandma Harriet was trapped in it.
"Check it out, guys! I trapped her in this globe. Now she can't eat us."
"Wow, good job Zach." Rusty commented.
"Yeah, there's a little town and everything. She'll be fine. Now let's go home." However, Zach foolishly threw the glove away.
"Zach, no!" Clyde panicked.
The globe broke and the ghost lady was free. "Ha Ha! I'm free! Now it's time for dinner."
Grandma Harriet has eaten the kids as they complain in her belly.
Different ending: Liam
"Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." Grandma Harriet used the eeny- meenie-minie-mo method, and then finished. "And you are it!" She stopped on Liam.
"Woowie! Ah get a wish!" Liam cheered.
"Well what's your wish, Liam?" Lincoln said.
"Ah wish…"
"Wait, don't tell me you're gonna wish for a mechanical pig." Clyde said.
"Nah. Ah wish Grandma Harriet didn't have a mouth so couldn't eat us."
Liam's wish is granted and Grandma Harriet's mouth has vanished.
"I guess that works." Zach said.
But then, she lifted her hair to reveal her eyes and another mouth on her forehead. The kids were freaked out by this.
"Nice try!"
"Y-You have another mouth?!" Lincoln questioned in shock.
"It's one of the features a ghost can have."
"Wow. That's just freaky." Rusty said surprised.
Grandma Harriet has eaten the kids as they complain in her belly. Her extra mouth lets out a loud burp.
Different ending: Stella
"Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." Grandma Harriet used the eeny- meenie-minie-mo method, and then finished. "And you are it!" She stopped on Stella.
"Yes! I get the wish!" Stella said proudly.
"It better be good Stella." Lincoln said.
"I wish for a portal to get home!"
"Your wish is granted." Harriet made a portal appear. The kids cheered and went into it, and the portal closed after that. The portal leads to someone's place. It was an underground home.
"Hey, where are we?" Rusty asked.
Then Grandma Harriet appeared. "Welcome to my home!"
"Wait, your home?" Stella questioned.
"Well technically, you didn't say who's home you wanted to go to, so I brought you to mine."
"But-but-I...I want another wish!"
"Nope. No more wishes. But you're just in time to BE dinner!"
Grandma Harriet has eaten the kids as they complain in her belly.
Different ending: Clyde
"Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." Grandma Harriet used the eeny- meenie-minie-mo method, and then finished. "And you are it!" She stopped on Clyde.
"That's you, buddy." Lincoln said.
"Ok, I can do this." Clyde thought. "What should I wish for?"
"Just remember, we're about to get eaten." Rusty reminded him.
"Let's see, I could wish for a ghost vacuum, like the one in A.R.R.G.H. Yeah, I wish for a ghost vacuum."
Clyde's wish is granted and he has one. "Cool! Now it's time to put the old bag in the bag!"
Clyde turned on the vacuum and began to suck Grandma Harriet.
"Oh no, not the ghost vacuum." Grandma Harriet said with sarcasm before zapping the vacuum, destroying it.
"Hey, no fair!" Clyde said angrily.
"It's fair if you can have fire powers! Now it's time for dinner!"
Grandma Harriet has eaten the kids as they complain in her belly.
Different ending: Rusty
"Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." Grandma Harriet used the eeny- meenie-minie-mo method, and then finished. "And you are it!" She stopped on Rusty.
"Yeah, that's right! I get a wish!" Rusty bragged. "And you know what I wish for?"
"What?" Zach asked.
"I wish we never met this ghost lady in the first place!"
Rusty's wish is granted. But the kids are still on Grandma Harriet's ship.
"W-Who are you?" Rusty asked, frightened.
"I am Great Grandma Harriet!" The ghost lady introduced herself.
However, Lincoln still remembered who she was, being her grandson and all, Harriet decided to let him keep his memory of her. "Hey wait, I still remember you. And you cheated on Rusty's wish!"
"Did I? Rusty, did you make a wish?" Harriet asked innocently.
"Uh, no." Rusty said, oblivious. "Why?"
"See? He didn't make a wish."
"But-" Lincoln said shocked.
"And now it's time for dinner!"
Grandma Harriet has eaten the kids.
"Lincoln, how do you know that ghost lady?" Clyde asked from inside her.
Lincoln sighed. "It's a long story."
