The world was currently a crazy place. At least for the residents of Gravity Falls. And after Dipper and Mabel had taken the memory ray the townsfolk would be forced to remember the events that transpired.
There was one thing for sure though, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos would never forget that day. That was the day the Author of the Journals came back. The day that Stan saw his brother again. The day that... the Author brought someone with him? Alright. Maybe the world really was the craziest it had ever been.
Stan seemed to think so at least.
He watched his brother step out of the portal, something... large in his arms. Ford's glasses were covered up by a pair of goggles, and his nose and mouth had a black cloth on them. But Stan was having a hard time seeing both, his view being blocked by a head. He watched in silent fascination as Ford bent down a bit, and let the second person's feet hit the floor so they could stand, then draw himself up to his full height.
"I could have walked." The figure said, and Stan was shocked to hear that it was a woman. Ford nodded, pulling his mask off. "I know." He said, and Stan felt... betrayed and happy. Happy because he was hearing his brother, but sad because his brother was talking to someone other than him. The woman, who had also worn a mask but had now copied Ford's action, glared at Stan's brother. "Then why did you carry me?!"
Ford shrugged, "Tradition. This is technically..." His sentence failed as the woman took a step forward, lifting her arms and looking like she was going to hug Ford. "Oh really? Is this like your other tradition where-"
"What on Earth is happening here?!" Stan asked, staring between his brother, and his brother's friend. "Who's the lady? Uh... And... I'm sorta here you... nice person." Stan decided that calling Ford names wasn't going to help anybody, and he almost breathed a sigh of relief when Ford and the woman looked over at Stan. But his relief faded as the soft smile Ford was wearing vanished.
Ford stepped away from his friend, and stepped towards Stan, his expression getting harder with every step. Then, in a flash, his fist flew out, pale in comparison to his black coat, and hit Stanley square on the jaw. The pain that exploded from the impact nearly sent Stan to the ground, but he held his head high, and did little more than snap out, "OW! What on Earth was that for?!"
The look Ford was giving Stan made him feel like acid was being forced down his throat. His brother, his twin, looked like he wanted to murder Stan, and all he could do was watch as Ford spat, "This was an insanely risky move Stan! Do you know what restarting the portal could have caused?!" Stan blinked at his twin, bandaged hand resting on his (soon to be bruised) jaw. "No I don't. I mean, besides bring my psycho brother and his girlfriend back! Speaking of girlfriend... What the heck man!?"
Ford now looked like he had been the one to get punched. If Stan didn't know any better he'd say that Ford's cheeks flushed a bit. There was quiet in the basement, until a soft laugh from behind Ford grabbed Stan's attention. The laugh swelled, and a gloved hand landed on Ford's shoulder. "Girlfriend? Girlfriend?! Stanley, I am his wife, unless the past five years have all been a daydream..."
That was when Stan dropped to the ground and nearly passed out, a look of disgust on his hurt face.
The universe around him seemed to be spiraling out of control. Or maybe it was just Ford's complete lack of balance. He found himself feeling the urge to antiquate his face with the floor, and prayed to... something that he wouldn't lose his hard earned lunch.
Whatever planet he was on seemed to give a shake, and he fell to the blue ground a moment later. The resulting tremors let him decide to just stay there. His face might hurt, but his feet were thanking him for getting off of them. His boots might be comfortable, but they didn't stop him from overusing his poor feet.
That was the first time he ever heard her voice.
It had an echo, that was both familiar and completely foreign. It possessed a sort of sarcasm that Ford found himself craving (he'd grown up with someone who had that. It was rare to hear Stan sound... truthful). Ford instantly felt... comforted and intimidated by her saying, "Hey, if you're gonna lie on the floor, make sure there's enough room for at least two. Move over buddy."
Fighting off nausea Ford tilted his head up and stared into the face of the woman who had spoken. What he was met with was the barrel of a gun, hexagonal in shape, and if he focused he could see a tiny green glow in the back. His breath hitched in his throat, and he reached with his right hand to his hip, where his own triangular gun was located.
The woman laughed again, and Ford would have looked up to see her, but his eyes were already strained just looking at her blaster. The barrel was slowly being dropped, as the laugh grew louder. "Man. No wonder Bill wants you. You're pathetic."
The ground under Ford seemed to give another shake, but he pushed himself up on his arms. "So let me get this straight." He said, looking up at her, "You're... not going to shoot me?" The woman, whose skin was a warm grey, nodded. "It appears so." She said, and Ford pushed himself up into a full kneel. "And you're... going to take me to Cipher?"
The woman let out another laugh. "Take you to... Krazden, d'ya think I got a death wish? No!" She reached a hand out to him, and said, "If you're... what are you? A moose? Was that what you guys are called?" Ford opened his mouth, both in shock, and to tell her what he really was, but before he could she said, "You know what. It's not important. What's wrong with you by the way? You look like you were ready to hibernate! And bad."
Ford caught himself staring at her hand, before taking it and saying, "Uh... I'm... What?"
"Oh, don't worry about the whole 'words' thing. I have that effect on men."
There were absolutely no words that could describe how Stan was feeling right at that moment. Ford looked over at the woman (his wife... Ford had a... he had married...) and hissed, "Not right now. I need to be angry at him."
"You've waited to yell at him for thirty years. I've never met him before. It's my turn." The woman (Mrs. Pines. There was another Mrs. Pines... not just Dipper and Mabel's mom...). "And I think I broke him. He's going to probably go hibernate..." Her silver eyes looked up, and seemed to notice something behind Stan. "Hey Ford... Are those small humans, or are they just far away?"
For the first time in a while Ford looked away from her, and looked at the same place that his wife (Nope. Not going to think about that) was looking. "Oh those are definitely children-"
"Oh my morality! Infantile humans are so adorable!" Mrs. Pines exclaimed. "Are they as easy to break as normal humans? Can they speak? How does their diet differ? Can I pet one?"
Whereas Stan seemed weirded out, and even a bit disgusted at her words, Ford just rolled his eyes, a grin breaking out on his face. "Calm down. All will be explained. And do you really think I'd let you pet a sentient being?" He glared over at her, not the same type of glare he would send Stan, but one that had... love? in it. Stan found himself slightly jealous of her.
"You let me pet your fluffy mess." She said, sending him a look that Stan had never seen before. As she said that, she reached out a hand and raised it above Ford's head. Ford rolled his eyes, and said, "To be fair, I was unconscious." Her eyes lit up, and she asked, "So... When they're sleeping?" Ford opened his mouth to respond, but it was at that moment that Stan found his voice. "You will not be petting Dipper and Mabel! That's just weird!"
The two portal people (portal couple? Portal... alright. Stan needed some sort of mind eraser now) shared a look, then they both laughed. "Oh my, Stanley..." Ford said in between chuckles. Stan's conflicting thoughts grew even more complex. On one hand his brother was laughing... at him. On the other, his brother was laughing at him. That sort of stuff.
"Wow. Because nothing weird has ever happened to this family." the woman said, placing a hand on her hip. Stan bit his lip, wishing to go back in time, just a few minutes. But everyone knew that time travel was impossible.
All Stan could do was watch as the weird space lady stepped past him, Ford in tow, and walked towards two of the three people that meant the world to Stan. Mabel didn't seem at all worried, in fact, she stepped right on up to the two of them, and held out her hand. "Hi! I'm Mabel." she said, her usual enthusiasm a bit dimmed by confusion.
Ford grasped her hand briefly, "Stanford Pines." he said as released it. Mabel smiled at him, fullhearted and raw, then her confusion returned. "Stanford? But... Grunkle Stan is... What?" He threw a glance at Stan, who froze, wincing and rubbing the back of his neck with his injured hand. The look of shock and anger that Ford sent him made Stan feel a million times worse, but he forced himself to stand there silently.
"You're the Author... The Author of the Journals!" Stan was saved from his twin's inevitable rant by his nephew's fanboying. Ford now looked at Dipper, and his light blush returned. "You read my Journals?" he asked, and Dipper nodded vigorously. "I haven't just read them..." Dipper said, and began to ramble on to Ford about how he had found them, and how they had changed his life. Ford grew a deer in the headlights look, while his wife (still not going to think about that) stepped to the side with Mabel.
Mabel stared in wonder at the two 'newest' members of her family. After nearly an entire summer of waiting, she now knew who the Author of Dipper's Journal was. Grunkle Stan's twin brother Stanford. Which meant that the Author was... her Grunkle! She had another Grunkle! One who was cool and wrote nerd books! This day was actually pretty great!
And another thing, he had a wife! She had a great-aunt! The new Mrs. Pines stepped off to the side as Dipper began to ramble about the Journals to the Author, who seemed to be content with the young man's expeditions.
"Wow. And here I thought Sixes here was the nerdiest person in the Multiverse." Mrs. Author said with a wink to Mabel. Mabel shrugged, "Who knows. Dipper's been thinking about this day for months now. He'll calm down once he drains his resources." Mrs. Author nodded, and said, "Well, it's about time Ford got a new friend."
Mabel tilted her head at the sad tone her aunt possessed. "What are you talking about?" she asked, and her aunt sighed. Her neon purple eyes flashed over to Dipper and Ford, who were now chatting about some other geeky topic, and then went back to Mabel. "We've been alone for so long... Although he may deny it, he's been craving the kind of bond that can only be shared by two nerdy men."
Mabel nodded, glancing at her brother, who was currently pulling out his backpack and grabbing a notebook. "Yeah. I'm just happy that now I get two Grunkles! And a great-aunt... Graunt! Grauntie... Sorry... I don't know your name." Her Graunt flashed her a smile, then said in a low voice, "My name is Avatar 111618. But you may call me Ava."
Ford threw a glance at his 'captor'. The woman had dragged him away from his hiding place, and without even telling him where they were going started leading him in a seemingly random direction. The only words he got from here were "Just try to keep up, will ya?" Man that sounded familiar.
So he followed her in near silence, his queasy stomach preventing him from doing much besides focus on keeping his balance.
It wasn't long before the two of them began to talk. It turned out that the place she was leading Ford to was another wormhole, one that she practically shoved him through. As soon as Ford came out on the other side he felt better, and his head seemed to stop spinning. Wherever they had been he was sure he didn't want to go back.
"Do you like the view? This type of dimension is particularly beautiful this time of year." Ford turned to his new 'friend', and shrugged. "I was actually just enjoying the feeling of not wanting to throw up every couple of seconds." he answered truthfully. She laughed, and there was a sound in it that Ford just felt... comfortable in. "I don't know what 'throw up' is. But that sounds awful." she said, taking a few steps towards the edge of the cliff they were now standing on.
That was when Ford got his first glance at the place they were in. Rose gold mountains surrounded them at every angle, with a silver sun slipping under a few of the tallest ones. There was no vegetation anywhere in sight, only a furry like substance underneath their feet. Ford watched as his strange companion sat down on the cliff's edge, swinging her legs out over the ledge.
Ford joined her a moment later, staring into the surprisingly dim sunset. "What dimension is this?" he breathed, feeling a cool wind run through his hair, ruffling the stands and making him pull his coat closer to himself. The woman looked over at him and answered, "Its a mountain dimension. To be more specific, J-207." She sighed, leaning back on her hands, which propped her up, and stared out at the range in front of them. "I like to come to places like this every now and then. It helps me... just live. What with being hunted by Kill that is."
After nodding, Ford seemed to hear the last part of her sentence. "Wait. What? You're being hunted by Bill as well?" He looked over at her, her grey skin reflecting a bit of the pink surrounding them. "Not Bill Cipher, Kill Cipher. They're... separate. Yet the same. He's more... trigger happy than his yellow counterpart." She laughed softly, then whispered, "And Bill's bad enough as it is."
All Ford could think of doing was stare at her. She looked back at his stunned face and said, "You thought you had the only Bill in the Multiverse? Ha! You're just as self-absorbed as they said you were! But don't worry wise guy, he's the only Bill you've got to worry about. There are literally billions of you out trying to destroy the rest."
He shook his head, then said in a whisper, "How foolish of me to think that he was the only one... But certainly not every Stanford can defeat their Bill... They'll all need help..."
"Look, Ford, I've already met your Bill-crazy version. Don't worry, once he makes sure that the last one is taken care of he'll probably start shooting up textbooks and pyramids or something." his companion said, smiling at him with a tinge of melancholy. "And then there's the rest of him. Man, how many universes are there? Well, hundreds are born every day, maybe even thousands, or millions. So there's a lot. Most of them are sealed off, but some aren't. Capiche?"
He nodded, once again looking back over the cliffs. "I'm sorry... I don't think I've learned your name. You obviously know mine..." he said, glancing over at her purple eyes, which were watching him with a sort of fascination he didn't know was possible. "Oh me... I'm... Well... That doesn't matter. Just call me 16."
Ford never noticed it happening. It was a funny joke she would say that he would laugh at, a playful punch when he said something idiotic. The way her dark silver hair caught the sun when it was wet, the light in her eyes when she looked at him. The corners of her mouth constantly twitching up into a smile that said that she knew everything about him. The way she always grabbed his hand whenever they were in an even mildly dangerous situation.
The feeling he got in his chest whenever they were sitting next to each other on some alien bus, or lying on the ground under alien stars at night, and she rested her head on his shoulder, either telling him some strange story, or drifting off into some much needed sleep.
His mother had always told him that chocolate and kissing were the way to a girl's heart, but Ford was now pretty sure that it was actually arguing.
He found himself simply watching her, like she was one of the anomalies that he used to study. Once when she caught him doing such an action she teased him for a week straight, but there was no denying the way her cheeks flushed a bit once she saw him. Ford was also convinced that she watched him, something that people had done already, but their watching had mostly been limited to his hands.
Ford knew that they could carry on like that for forever. He couldn't say that he was content with the situation they were in, but he also couldn't say that he wanted to be the one to change it.
"16! Run!" Ford had almost lost track of how many times he'd told her that over the last year of their travels. It seemed like every other day they were being ambushed by bounty hunters (some of which 16 knew, since she used to be one herself). And even though she insisted that she could handle herself, he told her anyway.
Maybe it was foolish pride, maybe it was his own hero complex, maybe it was the pit in his stomach that opened up whenever he thought about her getting hurt, but Ford kept repeating it to her whenever they were in danger.
"Me run?! What about you!?" She yelled at him, dashing backwards towards him, firing her gun at the two turquoise gorilla-like monsters that were after them. "I'll be fine!" Ford yelled back, taking a shot at the monsters with his own weapon. "It's you I'm worried about!"
16 looked over at him for a second, before blasting off another round. "That's real sweet ya'know! But utterly stupid! I can handle-" Before she could say another word one of the two monsters gave a roar that threatened to damage Ford's hearing, caught up with 16, and swung a huge claw at her arm, slicing through the grey skin, and ripping the bottom of her right arm completely off. 16 let out an anguished cry, her weapon hand falling to the floor with a strange clatter.
Instead of letting the monster get ahold of 16, Ford fired a shot with hit the monster right on its masked face. The being let out an unearthly howl and clawed at its face, while Ford dashed towards it and scooped 16 up in his arms.
"I can walk you idiot!" she said to him, looking very much like she couldn't. Ford didn't bother to heed her, choosing instead to dash forward, outpacing the monsters that wer following them. "Shut up and let me save you!" he told her after she started to raise another objection.
He ran full speed towards a blue wormhole that was growing in front of them, daring to glance behind him for a mere millisecond he saw that the two creatures were right on their tail. Taking a deep breath he jumped straight into the vortex, feeling it slide shut behind him.
They fell a few feet onto a rugged surface, Ford tripping and falling on top of 16. He immediately pushed himself off of her, and stared down in horror at her, breathing heavily. "Oh my goodness, are you alright?" he asked, moving to kneel in front of her.
"Does it look like I'm okay?!" she snapped, holding up her stub of a right arm. "I got my crazing arm torn off! My internal wires are showing!" Ford's eyes widened at the sight, not just because her arm was half gone, but because what he was seeing wasn't flesh and blood, but sparking wires and metal.
A darkness seemed to overwhelm him. "You... You're a cyborg." he said, watching her hug her wounded arm close to her chest. 16 rolled her purple eyes, and said, "No. I'm not a cyborg Ford." His mind drew a blank for a moment, then he said in a hushed voice, "You're a robot..."
The laugh that came from 16 made Ford feel like curling up and shutting down. "I'm not a robot Stanford, do you think I don't have emotions? I'm an android got it?" She stared right into his eyes, and Ford suddenly felt completely stupid. Then a dawning realization passed over him, and he sat back and stared at her. "I've fallen for an android... Stan was right."
"What in the crazin' Multiverse are you talking about?" 16 asked, blinking at him. "Wait. You've fallen for me? I'm not the only one!? I've fallen for a moose!" she laughed when he sent her a pained look, then said, "Well... it's about time we said that. I'd ask you if you want to make out, but you don't seem to be the type. Let's just get married!"
What had Ford just gotten himself into?
One tragic backstory later found Mabel standing next to her freshly dubbed 'Grauntie Ava', gripping her grey hand, which clung tightly to hers as well, as if the young girl might dissolve into thin air if she let go for even a nanosecond. "This story is so sad!" Mabel said, holding her free hand to her face and glancing between her two Grunkles. "I know what you two broken teacups need to do... Hug it out!" She beamed at the two old men, who didn't even look at her, choosing instead to stare off at their separate ends of the room.
"Come on guys!" Mabel said, waving her hand towards them. "Come on Grauntie Ava! Make Great uncle Stanford hug Grunkle Stan or something!" She threw a pleading look at her, but Ava shook her head. "No can do Mooseling." she said, earning her a confused expression from Mabel. "I can barely get Sixes to hug me, and I'm his wife." She cast a sad look at her husband and brother, and added in a low voice, "Plus, I'm not quick to be happy about Stan's attitude anyway. I mean, he is the one who pushed Ford through in the first place..."
Mabel's jaw dropped at that statement. "He what?!" She asked, gaining her her Grunkles' attention once more. Ford sent his brother another glare, and said, "Yes. That was the course of events that brought us here... Care to explain Stanley?"
Stan shuffled a bit, then began to rattle on again about his life, with Ford's slightly disapproving, however intrigued eyes watching his every movements, hanging off of every word. Ford had obviously not heard this side of the story.
"So... What's your real name?"
Ford's wife (he had a wife... that was a crazy thought... a wife... his father had been right about him, just not the suit) looked over at him, twisting wires into the stub of her arm. Since they'd had their hasty wedding (something Ford promised himself he would never willingly remember. Just don't ask tiny hamsters to do it for you, no matter how free it is) she'd been working on replacing the arm she had lost.
"Oh me? What makes you think that I've never told you my name?" 16 picked her pair of pliers back up, and made a quick movement to twist two more wires together. Ford sighed, then said, "Well, as I recall, you told me that I could call you 16, implying that that name was not what everyone calls you. I wouldn't just tell you to call me Stanford, because that's my name."
He sat down next to her, reaching over her lap to grab on to the skeletal frame of her new arm, when she looked over at him he stared into her eyes and asked, "And... since I am your husband don't I possess a right to know your name? It is a key part of your being you know."
Her purple irises fell from his eyes. "No it's not." she whispered, looking at his six fingered hand, which was now placing parts where they needed to go so she could simply fasten them in place. "My name is just like everyone else's from my dimension."
Ford nodded, but pointed out, "Well, you're the only person from your dimension I've met. So it'll be special to me. Isn't that all that matters?" She sighed (however androids sigh) and said in a quiet voice, "Fine Stanford. My name is Avatar 111618."
She sighed again when Ford said in an equally quiet voice, "Well... wouldn't you like another name. A name that's not just a number... How about... Tar?" He winked at her when she sent him a hurt look. "Tar? What do you think I am, a sidewalk?" She laughed as he shook his head and grabbed her remaining hand. "No, of course not my dear... I was just hoping you'd choose your own name. I'll call you whatever you want."
"How about... her most supreme excellency, the great and humble, and mighty, and wonderous, and stupendous, wife." she said, leaning towards him, her unassembled arm completely forgotten. Ford rolled his eyes, and said, "You seriously expect me to call you that? I'd prefer Tar." She rolled her eyes, nuzzling his cheek his her nose, "Fine... I guess just Avatar would work... Or how 'bout...
"Ava."
When Ava heard Ford laughing in another part of the basement, she knew that something was up. She never heard Ford laugh when she wasn't the one making him do so, and it had been so long since he'd found anything truly humorous in their day to day lives. Sure he was still a goofball, full of energy and ready to make her shake her head at him in frustration at a moment's notice, but when he was alone he was suspiciously quiet.
Which made it even more suspicious when his chuckles made their way to her overly sensitive ears.
Dropping the screwdriver that she was currently deconstructing the portal with, she made her way towards her husband's voice. Sliding the door open she was met with the sight of at least a dozen or more sheets of graph paper lying disorderly on the ground, and Ford and Dipper sitting crosslegged in the middle of the floor, Dipper staring at two dice.
Her nephew's eyes flew up, and he gasped, "Great aunt Ava! Uh... We were just... We're..." He glanced at his uncle for moral support, and Ford turned his smiling face towards his wife. "Ava! Just in time. Dipper and I were just starting a Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons campaign! I would have asked if you'd like to join us sooner... but I'm afraid that I was a little distracted. There's still time." He smiled at her, and she raised her eyebrows. "Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons... I didn't know you were the type IQ." She looked at their board, then down at Dipper, and said, "You know, I think I'll sit this one out. Give you two dorks some one on one time... See ya."
She stepped over the game pieces and walked towards the door, where she halted for a moment, turning back to Ford and Dipper and adding, "Oh, by the way, this better all be put away before nightfall, or you'll be sleeping on the couch." Dipper blinked at her, while Ford let out a hearty laugh. "Jokes on you 16, I already sleep on the couch!"
Ava smiled at him, "I know you do. First order of business one we get some of that mon-ay that you've spoken about, we're getting a mattress. Preferable a water one, if they still make those."
As it turned out, the Mystery Shack was something that Ava actually kind of enjoyed. Stan had grumbled something about how 'he should get everyone he could get free labor out of to do so', and hired Ava right on spot. Ford raised a couple of objections, but they were overruled by his wife, brother, and niece.
The mysterious robot lady actually did earn Stan a bit of revenue, and he gave his sister-in-law a fraction of the earnings. Admittedly $10 wasn't that much, but she didn't know the difference between that and Fort Knox.
So Ava was completely on Stan's side when he decided to run for mayor. Which led to some... mixed reception from Ford.
"Stanley, as in, my brother Stanley, is running for mayor? What kind of crazy world is this?"
The look on Ford's face told Ava everything that she needed to know about how he felt about this situation. At his question she shrugged, gave a blunt answer of "Yours" and let the two of them fall into silence. Ava rubbed the back of her neck, a nearly palpable tension in the air. "So..." she said a minute later, watching him blink at her. "I was thinking about helping him..."
Ford bit his lip, an obvious 'No' forming on his lips, then he sighed, long and loud, as if he wanted to put a sense of shame in her. "Understandable. I'm afraid I cannot dictate your actions, you must choose them yourself."
Ava raised her eyebrows, "Um... Okay..? So... It's okay that I go help Stan?" Ford furrowed his own brow, and said in an explanatory tone, "Yes. You're an adult, as I said, I cannot make decisions for you. I would prefer that you didn't, but in the end it's your decision." He nodded once at her, then turned back to his desk, his Journal open in front of him.
"Wow," Ava said, taking a step forward and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Human's really are weird." She pressed a kiss on his hair and whispered, "Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't break too many laws in the process. Love you." She rubbed his shoulder, then turned around, walking out of the room. Ford called out after her, "Did you just sniff my hair?" Ava giggled, and answered with a "Maybe" and a smile.
Ford shook his head at her, "I will never understand that woman." he mumbled to himself, a smile tugging on his lips.
One morning when Ava woke up she saw her husband already up. Now that wasn't as unusual as some might think, her techo-organic body needing only half the amount of sleep that a normal human needed. But what was odd was what Ford was doing with his alone time. There were piles of papers everywhere, again, a normal occurrence, Ford was hastily organizing them and muttering something about stupid people. Everything about this was reading 'average Tuesday'.
She propped herself up on one arm and said in an unused voice, "Moose? What's wrong?" The eyes that met hers a second later had a tiny bit of terror in them, but that quickly melted away. "Oh, it's nothing." he said, gathering up the rest of the papers with little care for the order they were placed in. "Just that if we don't act quickly Bill will enter into our dimension. That's all."
A sleepy nod came from Ava, and she yawned out, "I'm sure you can handle it IQ. You got your brain, your wife, your brother, your nephew and niece. Oh! And Soos. Don't forget the rodent guy." Ford shot her a small smile, and said, "Yes. I've got all of those... And what do you have?"
"A stupidly genius husband who needs to sleep every now and then." she answered, sitting all the way up and getting off of their shared couch bed. "Seriously, you went to sleep after I did, and my boy automatically wakes me up after my four hours are up." She stepped up to him and reached out to take his glasses off. "I don't want you to crash in the middle of the day."
"I'll be fine." he said, grabbing onto her wrists and guiding his glasses back on. His wife rolled her eyes, "Uh-huh." she said in a slightly scolding tone, not dropping her arms she leaned forward, closing her eyes and filling the space in between their faces. "You're so-"
"Grunkle Ford! Grauntie Ava! You'll never guess what Dipper- OMG!" The sound of their niece's voice broke off their physical connection, but not before a loud 'Click!' echoed through the room. "You two were kissing! Dipper! Grunkle Stan! Come get a look at this!"
The two of them turned their heads just in time to see Mabel, still in her pale purple nightgown, dash away from their newly opened door. The sound of Stan's "Nope! Nope! Nope! Not gonna think about that!" filled the halls, while Dipper cried out in anguish, "Mabeelll, why would you show me this... Ugh! It's weirder than I thought!"
Ford's face was turning beet red. "I'll... just get dressed?" Ava said, taking a step back from him. Ford held his head in his hands and stared at the floor. "It's just like my dream with Bill..." He mumbled to himself, while walking out of the room. Ava gave him a flash of concern, which he didn't see, then let him exit their room.
"And who crashed in the middle of the day?"
"I crashed in the middle of the day."
"And what did it end up causing?"
"The destruction of Project Mentum."
"And what are we doing next time your wife tells you to sleep?"
"Ignoring her again."
Ava laughed, shoving Ford's shoulder with her hand, Dipper stared at the two of them, a look of confusion on his face. "Okay... So I don't want to know." he said, shrinking back in his chair, taking a sip of his drink. Ava laughed, looking over at him. "Of course you don't. Can you believe that this man had less than four hours of sleep last night? And we weren't even being chased!"
Ford rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I had a dream with Bill in it. Normally I get at least five hours..." He said, and Ava nodded. "Understandable. But then you explain what's going on to your poor paranoid nephew." She waved at Dipper, who shrank back even more. "I'm not paranoid..." he said quietly, which brought out a laugh from both his uncle and aunt.
"Sorry kid," Ford said, reaching out and patting his hat, "But unfortunately you are. Don't worry, you come from a long line of paranoid geniuses. Me, you... Yeah, that's long." He threw his nephew a smile, and said, "Don't worry Dipper, you're not the first one to get tricked by Bill. But hopefully we're the last."
Dipper looked up at him, gulped and said, "Yeah, but I destroyed the machine... So we'll still be exposed to Bill-"
"Did someone say Unicorn Hair?!"
Ava watched most of her family, and a few of their friends, drive away in the rv Stan had somehow aquired. She looked over at her husband, who was watching them with a blank face. "So we're just going to let them go?! But what about Bi-"
"They'll be fine." Ford said, crossing his arms and staring dully at the rear end of the camper. "You know that extra unicorn hair we had remaining? Well I took the precaution of lining the rv with it, along with the extra moonstone and mercury we had. I told Stan that they all needed to sleep inside of the rv, and if he listens to me for once they'll be perfectly safe." Ava shook her head at him, "You're truly the evil genius of the family. You know that he's not going to listen to you."
Ford sighed as Ava rested her head on his shoulder. "Yes I do, but Dipper will, so I also told him. Hopefully he remembers, and gets Mabel to do the same." Ava hummed in agreement. She looked up at him, and said, "Well then Mr. Pines. We have the place to ourselves now. Want to do something fun?" She wrapped her arms around him, and he said, "As long as said fun has to do with taking out all the metal from the basement and taking it to the dump, then yes."
His sentence earned him an exasperated sigh from his wife. "Wow. I really did marry a nerd. And a geeky one at that." She lifted her head up, and was about to bring them into another kiss when a voice cried out, "Oh man! We nearly forgot the cooler-" A loud gasp passed through the room, and the two of them looked over at the voice. "Grunkle Stan! Dipper! They're making out again!"
"Nope. We're going to be monks from now on." Ford said, wiggling out of his wife's grasp and running a hand through his hair. "I'm going to the basement. And staying there. Even if crazy people come and vandalize the whole place!"
Ava sat across the table from Stan. The man was engrossed in his newspaper, or at least that was what he wanted his sister to think. Ava fiddled with a few strands of her hair, and looked like she was trying to muster up the courage to do something.
Finally what she'd been trying to do spilled out of her mouth, "You know, I've been working on Stanford to get him to let you stay here. I personally am... well... I don't know what this place was like pre-Mystery Shack, but I think he's been overreacting. He normally doesn't act like that."
Stan glared up at her, "Yeah yeah, whatever. Water under the bridge and all that." He waved a hand at her and returned to his paper. Ava sighed, then placed a hand on the paper. "Stanley, I've literally been here a few weeks, and you barely act like I'm here. Come on man! I helped you almost become Mayor, then I've been working as your robot thing, which is close to reality. Is there something you want to tell me?"
There was a tired look in Stan's face, and he brushed her hand away. "I'm just mad because some alien-robot lady is closer to my twin brother than I am! Okay?!" He snapped the paper shut and slammed it down on the table. "You know what? I don't want to talk about this. Mabel's been up in her room for a while, I'm gonna check on her." He stood up and pushed himself past Ava. "See ya Aves."
Ava just watched him go, she sighed and hissed "Men" under her breath.
"Stanford Filbrick Pines! What in the Multiverse did you do?!" Ava pointed up at the hole in the sky which had opened up above the forest. Ford shook his head and snapped, "I didn't do anything. It was a simple mistake. All that matters right now is stopping Bill. Then after we do that we'll get Mabel and everything will go back to normal!"
Ava stared at him, her mouth hanging open. "Okay. What?!" She grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. "Stanford Pines, where is my niece?!" Ford sighed, then said, "I don't know, but Bill did something-"
"I'm going to kill that triangle!" Ava spat, but Ford shook his head. "I'm going to kill that triangle, you'll just come with-" Again Ava interrupted. "Oh yeah? Who decided to actually spend time with everyone? Me! Who helped Stan with his campain? Me! Who stayed up to two AM making finger puppets? Who was it? Oh yeah! Me again!" She poked a finger in his stomach and added, "And who's going to make sure that freak doesn't hurt my family? Me!"
Ford sighed, grabbing her hands, "Well... If you insist, you can go save Mabel While I go take care of Bill." Ava snarled at him, "Sounds like a plan! I'm going to get Stan to help me too."
"Fine!"
"You're fine!"
"Just take care!"
"You're the one fightign a demon!"
"Whatever Mrs. Technical."
"Don't forget who made me that!"
"Ugh! Will you two just kiss and do your job!" Dipper yelled at the two of them. He pointed at the X and said, "There happens to be an apocalypse out there we need to deal with. Let's just go!"
In the end, Ava actually didn't end up finding Mabel, what she did find was Old Man McGucket, who practically dragged her back to the Shack. After having been alone for a few days Ava found herself completely ready to go back to a place that was actually safe. She chilled with Stan, helping out all of the people who had been brought with McGucket.
When the kids showed up she was overjoyed. Until she noticed who wasn't there.
"Wait. Where's Ford?" She asked, after getting Mabel to let go of her. Mabel looked over at her brother, who sagged his shoulders and looked down at the ground. "Bill got him. He... he didn't get him with the Quantum Destabilizer..." He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his middle. "Bill turned him into a statue... and then took him to the Fearamid."
"Serves him right." Stan said, butting into their conversation. The other members of his family gasped, along with several bystanders. "My brother's had some stupid ideas, but this was his stupidest yet."
Ava grit her teeth together. How on Earth could she get Stan to do what she wanted him to? A plan formed in her head, and she was half grateful for her fear and dread or she would have smiled widely. "Well then," she said, placing a hand on her hip as she turned towards her brother-in-law. "I guess you'll just have to help me raise this kid then."
A silence fell through the room. Mabel and Dipper's mouth dropped wide open, and Stan stared at her like she had grown an extra head. "A what?"
"Congrats Stan. You're an uncle." She said, folding her arms and sending him a death glare. "And unless you want to be responsible for the death of the father..." She let her sentence trail off, what she had said speaking for what she hadn't. Stan just blinked at her.
"Dude! We've got to save Grunkle Ford!" Mabel said, standing in front of Ava, "For love! For family! For this strange kid which I've already named Nugget!" At first she was met with silence, but then Stan sat down on a chair in shock, and the tv turned on. The other townsfolk were met with a recording of their family and friends mushed together in a stone chair of human horror.
Needless to say, McGucket instantly started designing the robot.
When Ford woke up, for the... twelfth time? Something like that, he was met with the faces of his nephew, niece, brother, and wife. He breathed a sigh of relief and shouted, "Kids! Oh I knew you could do it!" He reached down and picked both of them up. Mabel laughed, "Yeah we could! We had to rescue the lucky guy." She smiled at him, then sent a wink over to her Graunt, who looked... scared.
"Oh I am lucky, I have no idea what I've done to deserve the two of you." he said, placing them back down on the ground. Mabel giggled again, elbowing her brother in the side. "Tell him Dipper!" she said, glancing back at Ava and giving her a thumbs up. Ava gulped, as Dipper said, "Well... Uh... You see... When two people love each other very much..."
"You're going to be a dad!" Mabel said, flinging her arms around Ford's legs. "Congratulations Grunkle Ford! I'm so happy for you!"
At any other time Stan would have laughed at the look Ford got. "Uh... Mabel, I don't know how you got that impression..." Ford said, pushing her gently away from him. "That's... Not how Ava's species work... In order for me to be a father... Well..." A blush deeper than one Stan had ever seen on his face appeared, while Mabel stared at him speechless. "But- But- Grauntie Ava said so..."
Ava and Ford's eyes clashed, and Ava said, "Well... I had to get Stan on our side somehow... What was one little-"
"So you're not pregnant?!" Stan asked, staring at his sister in shock. "Now I haven't been around a lot of pregnant ladies, but you pulled it off. You tricked me!" At first there was anger in his voice and eyes, but that slowly melted away. "Wait... You tricked me... Ford, you found a gem. You lucky duck! You know Ava you remind me of my ex-wife..."
"What's this about Sixer being a dad? What 'Wife'? I want all of the wedding photos!"
Hi! So if you'd read this far you'll know that I... am completely insane! Well, so, I was inspired by a review my Milkshake and Cookies, about how Stan always assumes that the girls Ford brings out of the portal are his girlfriend and one day he'll be right. Now he is right... and he doesn't exactly like it at first.
I took a few days to think about what kind of girl Ford would be attracted to, and I thought "What if there was someone like Stan and Bill, but less... betray-ee." And thus Avatar 111618 was born (a combo of Alex and my birthdays). Stan probably joked to Ford several times that the only way he could get a girl was if she was a robot, and what better species than an android for Ford to fall for.
Thanks agian for your guy's reviews, they really make my day! Speaking of days, have a great one!
-BrilliantLight
