Chapter 93 – A Bitter Pill to Swallow

Prime. P.O.V

''Optimus!'' a familiar yet strange voice called out to me from across our Rec room as an attractive pink and white femme beamed at me. ''There you are!'' She stood up from where she had been sitting with Arcee, drinking an energon cube and made her way towards me.

I gave a quick smile in return though I felt my spark constrict tightly in my chest. ''Elita, I trust you recharged well.'' I came to an abrupt stop before her, placing my arms by my sides and clenching my servos. The radiant smile that had been on her face dimmed somewhat as she took in my stance.

''Surprisingly, yes Optimus I did,'' her keen optics swept over my face and I felt exposed before her though I tried to mask how I felt. ''I wish I could say the same for you. You look, exhausted and as though you have seen a ghost.'' She folded her arms across her chest and fixed me with a penetrating gaze. ''Is everything alright Optimus?''

I gave her a small, rueful smile, ''Well to be honest Elita, I have seen a ghost. She is standing before me.'' At this Elita's dermas parted and she gave a short gasp before her dermas curved into an awkward smile.

''Of course, Optimus. I understand the shock you must be feeling at suddenly seeing me alive after all these years and standing in your Rec room sipping energon,'' a warm smile of humour and understanding spread across her beautiful face to her dermas.

For a moment I was drawn to those dermas, lost in a moment.

/It was so long ago. I had assumed command of the Autobots from Sentinel Prime, who had since disappeared along with the technology that could have won us the war. In a desperate bid to tip the scale back in our favour, I led a final campaign to capture our home planet. We were unsuccessful, too few in number and resources. I was about to depart Cyberton with a small band of soldiers in search of the Allspark, perhaps the only thing that could restore our war-ravaged planet and our hope. I had rendezvoused with my group at the launch pad, the sounds of cannon fire and explosions thick in the air. Out of the smoke hurtled a pink and white femme, a look of utter desperation and panic etched on her face as she charged towards me and threw herself into my arms.

''Optimus! Take me with you, don't leave me!'' She screamed at me as I folded my arms about her slender yet strong frame.

''Elita! What are you doing here? It is too dangerous, you must leave. I can not risk losing you too.'' I squeezed her tight in my arms, almost as if I knew it would be a long time before I ever held her like this again.

Her servos flew up to grasp my face plates, forcing me to look into her optics, ''Optimus I can not loose you too, please do not leave me here without you. I beg you, take me with you!'' Her optics were filled with such pain and fear I had to close my own for a moment to prevent my resolve from crumbling.

I brought my servos up to cover hers, the explosions drew ever nearer, time was running out. ''Elita, I must go, we have discussed this. You have your femmes here to lead and protect. We must each take a separate path - for now.'' I felt her sob in my arms though her helm nodded imperceptibly as she realised deep within her spark what I said was true. I paced a digit under chin and raised her optics to me, a silent battle raged within them. ''I will return for you my Elita. As soon as may be, I will come back to you. You have my word.''

She closed those beautiful optics once more before she fixed me with an intense gaze, ''I will hold you to that Optimus Prime. See that I don't.'' As soon as the words left her dermas, I bent down to capture her lip components in a passionate, desperate kiss. As our planet was torn apart around us by hate, our love would not be denied. I felt our bond between us surge and send a wave of love, longing and hope enveloping us. I also felt the cold tendrils of fear and pain lurking in the darkness and I sent a wave of reassurance towards her as I brushed a servo down her cheek. Reaching up to capture it in her own servo, she raised it to her lips and kissed it as I returned the gesture to her. ''Go! Now, before I cannot let you leave. Farewell Optimus. I love you. Come back to me.''

I wrenched myself from her grasp, my own spark throbbing painfully in my chest. ''Farewell my Elita. Please stay safe. I love you too. I will see you again one day soon.'' I took one last look at her beautiful face, committing it to memory, and turned to board the awaiting vessel to take us on a journey amongst the stars in search of the Allspark. I did not look back as I knew if I did, I would not be able to continue up the ramp.

As I settled into my seat within the ship and Prowl punched in the co-ordinates, I clutched at my chest as I felt my spark twist and contort painfully. Rachet looked over to me with concern and worry etched on his faceplates. He knew what was happening and was powerless, save for knocking me unconscious with powerful sedatives, to do anything. As Prime I had a duty to my people first, before that of my spark. I closed my optics and cycled air deeply, willing myself to release the pain that threatened to consume me.

As the engines roared to life and the ship began to pull away from the surface of my home, away from the other half of my spark, I heard deep within my processor and spark the most mournful, painful and spark breaking cry of loss I hoped never to hear again.

/OPTIMUS!/.

/ELITA!/.

''Optimus! Optimus?'' the same voice I had heard in my processor seemingly millennia ago, distraught with pain and loss, now sounded confused and a little concerned in the here and now.

I refocused my optics and shook my helm as a slight shudder ran through my frame. ''Sorry Elita, I was - elsewhere.''

Elita narrowed her optics as she concentrated on my features, ''I can tell Optimus. I ask you again, is everything alright?'' She tilted her helm to the side and seemed to peer right through me as she folded her arms across her chest.

I shuffled awkwardly on my pedes at the scrutiny I felt myself subjected to. /Normally it is me doing this to one of my Autobots or Phoenix/.

In the background I noticed Arcee also looking at me with a mixture of shock and concern as she had witnessed my reaction to Elita's presence. A small nagging thought that perhaps she had already talked to Elita about Phoenix started to take root in my processor before I quickly banished it. /No, Arcee would not betray me like that. She is a respected and trusted soldier and friend. She is aware of the need for Elita to hear about Phoenix from me and no one else/. I shuffled on my pedes. ''In truth Elita, no, everything is not alright. I think it is time you and I had a talk. We have much to catch up on. Much to discuss.''

A flicker of fear darted through her optics and I felt a faint pulse of it through our broken bond, a mere shadow of what it once was. Elita unfolded her arms from across her chest and brought them down by her sides, her fists clenched in mirror to my own. ''Very Well Optimus. Where would you like to go and have a talk? I recall that nice little ''beach'', I believe you call it from yesterday. Perhaps we could..''

''NO! Not there Elita,'' the words erupted from my dermas before I could check their tone. Elita tilted her helm to the side and brought her servos to her hips. My spark ceased beating for a moment as I recognised this same stance from the only other femme in my life. Phoenix would do the same thing when she was about to argue a point. /I do not recall Elita 1 ever making this gesture before so it must be something she has picked up over the years/.

''Fine then Optimus Prime,'' Elita ground out somewhat tersely, using my full title in such a manner meant she was indeed becoming irritated with me and I could not blame her, ''where would you like to go to discuss the many things that have clearly changed between us?'' I internally winced at the comment and the fire that burned in her optics. I closed my own to fight down the feelings of recognition and loss as Elita unknowingly mimicked the gestures and actions of Phoenix. /It is as though they were born of the same spark, so similar yet so different in many ways/.

I opened my optics again and sighed out loud, ''I am sorry Elita, I do not mean to be so, distant and obtuse. Please, forgive me. Perhaps we can go for a drive and find a place that is suitable to talk. Is that agreeable to you?'' I tried to relax my stance and seem welcoming and positive in my posture, she was after all, a very dear and important figure in my life and should be treated with due respect and consideration – regardless of what events have since transpired.

A thoughtful look descended over her fine features before she gave a curt nod, ''It is perhaps a good idea.''

I returned her nod and gestured towards the Rec room door and Elita strode towards it. I turned and gave Arcee a brief nod of acknowledgement and farewell and she straightened and returned the nod, along with a sad, smile.

I walked out the door after Elita only to be greeted by Jazz and Ironhide as they approached, their faces indicated something was wrong. For a moment my spark lurched as I thought something may have happened to Phoenix but then I realised that no one knew exactly where she was and could not get hold of her and so would not possibly know of her condition. They came to stand before Elita and I. ''Jazz, Ironhide. What is it?'' There was no need for formalities with my weapons specialist and 2IC.

Jazz and Ironhide nodded at the same time towards Elita and then towards me, Jazz spoke first, ''Elita, Prime, we thought we might find you here. We come with some grave news indeed, though I dare say Prime, it was ta be expected on your behalf anyway.'' He gave me a sad smile.

Elita gave a confused look in my direction and then towards Jazz. ''What do you mean Jazz ''to be expected?''

Jazz turned to face Elita, ''I'm sorry Elita, you are unaware of the situation that has been brewing here for the past few years.''

''Basically, the humans, the native species of this planet, have come to view us as a threat and to put it bluntly, as of today the alliance between Autobots and the Government agency we worked with, N.E.S.T, has changed irrevocably. We have been asked to leave Diego Garcia indefinitely, effective immediately. N.E.S.T has been disbanded and a new faction has been formed tasked with hunting down and dispatching of Decepticons.'' Elita gave a gasp of shock. Ironhide had always lacked tact and now, as always, he cut to the heart of the matter without any preamble. He turned his angry visage upon me.

All thoughts of ''our chat'' disappeared at Ironhide and Jazz's news. I allowed a flash of anger, disappointment and regret burn through me at this news. I turned hard optics towards my 2IC. ''I thought we were granted asylum and immunity following our involvement and aid in the battle of Chicago? Where is Lennox? What is his position? Did the order come from Mearing herself?'' I fired the questions rapidly at Jazz who had assumed command of the Autobots following the battle in Chicago and while I recovered and spent time with Phoenix, /Not that that will be happening anymore/.

Jazz held his servos up to indicate I should slow down, ''Whoa Prime! Easy. Lennox is in Hanger 1, he sent me to speak with you. He is as shocked and angry as we are at being disbanded but had a feeling this was coming. He is awaiting your arrival to discuss our ''departure''. The order came from Mearing who was in turn advised by POTUS himself and tasked with ''seeing to it''. While you know what she is like, she did seem aggrieved by this turn of events. And, as for asylum and immunity, we maintain that status though we have been ''requested'' to keep a low profile and given that N.E.S.T no longer exists and the new faction has assumed our role of eliminating the Decepticons, we have been ''asked'' to leave Deigo Garcia and integrate into mainland USA.''

I felt my dermas tighten in annoyance and anger at this turn of events, though in truth I knew it would happen, I had thought there would be more time. ''Very well Jazz. I thank you for your leadership under, difficult circumstances,'' I noticed Elita bristle slightly at my words though she made no move to comment, ''effective immediately I will be resuming Command of the Autobots. Ironhide and Jazz I want you to inform all Autobots stationed here of our current situation and to have them assemble here at Autobots quarters to await further instructions and debriefing following my meeting with Lennox. That is all.'' Ironhide and Jazz nodded at me and then Elita in turn before heading off in various directions to perform their task. I turned to Elita and gave her a brief, sad smile.

She returned it, sighing out loud, ''Just like old times in a way isn't Optimus? Trying to steal a few moments alone and something always comes up to interfere. I guess this means out talk is not happening?''

I reached out towards her, a silent invitation to grasp her servos, which she obliged. As I held them, I felt several emotions stir within me. Familiarity, regret, sorrow, anger and while it was not love, it was indeed a deep affection that I felt towards this femme. I gently brushed her servo, which caused her to let out a small gasp. I immediately stilled my digits, inwardly cursing my actions. ''I am sorry Elita, yes you are right. Some things never change. Our talk is simply postponed for now, but it is indeed going to happen. We both need it to.'' I smiled at her and squeezed her servos before releasing them. ''Now, I need to go and meet with Colonel William Lennox to discuss what has just transpired and sort out our transport out of here. Perhaps it is best if you follow Ironhide and Jazz?''

Elita shook her helm defiantly, ''Oh no Optimus! I am coming with you. I want to meet this Lennox and hear for myself what is to happen. I am a Commander in my own right, or had you forgotten?'' Elita raised challenging optics to my own before continuing in a much softer voice that contrasted greatly to the stern expression she wore, ''besides, the last time I let you out of my sight, I didn't see you again for several million years and… I lost you.'' The last words though barely a whisper, slammed into me, into my spark with a thunderous clap, almost physically jolting me with the force of their meaning.

I felt myself blink of my optics rapidly and my dermas moved silently for a moment before I managed to find words. ''Of course, Elita. As you wish.'' She smiled briefly at me before indicating I should lead the way, after all she had not seen the base and had no idea where Hanger 1 was.

Once again, I was caught off guard, my thoughts and actions thrown into chaos. After a moment I started to walk towards hanger 1, Elita shadowing me.