Lifeless
(Monday Afternoon, August 19th)
"She looks so lifeless," Aziz assesses, as he sits with Carlos at Mal's bedside.
"Her temperature stopped dropping at room temperature, but her metabolism is too slow to digest the feeding formula they gave her."
"Don't dragons eat a lot?" Aziz asks.
"She's going to die," Carlos concludes, before he stands up and leaves the room.
Aziz stays in his seat. Carlos needs space, and he needs to process this. He'd prayed that Mal would make it through this, but so far, all it's seemed to do is keep her from death. Maybe he didn't do it right, he wasn't clean enough or wasn't steady enough. He will have to pray harder next time. A tall, well-aged man with white hair enters the room, his sky-blue eyes smiling at him, before he walks over to Mal. He moves his fingers to her head and closes his eyes. It's a long minute before he lets go, and Aziz whispers, "Allah."
He walks over to him. "Good day, my son."
Aziz grins. "I can't believe you're here."
"I want you to do something for me."
"Anything," he proclaims.
The ancient man shows a vile of golden liquid. "When she wakes up, make sure she drinks this. At any cost."
"Of course." He bows his head. "al-Muhyi." He looks back up, the god is gone, and the vile is in his hand. He hears the sound, and the monitor shows Mal's temperature improving.
It feels like forever before her temperature reaches a normal range, but he was told to make sure she drinks this. He's meditated on whether he should tell her the truth behind it. God told him to make sure she drinks it at any cost, but it would be sinful to reject that God helped her in her time of need. He came to her in person. It's a rare opportunity. She must know about it, but she must take the vile too. What should he do? "Excuse me." Aziz faces the nurse, and she informs, "Visiting hours will be ending soon."
"She's going to wake up." His eyes widen. "I have to stay with her."
"What makes you think she's going to wake up today?"
"Her temperature's higher," he asserts. "I have to be here when she wakes up."
The nurse walks over to the monitor, checks the chart next to the bed, and then turns back to him. "If she wakes up, we will alert her doctor and Queen Belle, but you can't stay here."
"I can't leave," he rejects.
"Leave or I will have to get security."
"With Ar-Rashid as my witness," Aziz declares, "I will carry out my duty at any cost." The woman shakes her head and leaves the room. Nothing anyone can do could ever make him neglect the mission God gave him. Two security guys come in, and he wraps his feet around the chair's legs. "I am not moving from this seat."
"If she wakes up, you can see her tomorrow," one of them mentions.
"God wants me here."
The other asks, "And how do you know that?"
"He told me."
The first one takes a deep breath. "Okay, Prophet Ali. If God wants you here, then there's nothing we can do to stop him, right?"
"Right," he agrees.
He looks at the other guard, "Help me."
They move to either side of him. "What are you doing?"
"If God doesn't want you to leave the seat," he starts.
They lift the chair over their shoulders, and the other finishes, "Then the seat can leave."
When Belle answers the door, she sees him. "Prince Aziz." She folds her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry to say Carlos is staying with Fairy Godmother, but I'm sure your father has told you that."
"Mal's going to wake up."
"Pardon?" she questions.
"Her temperature is getting higher," he seriously says. "The hospital is going to call you."
"Aziz," she starts.
He shows the vile. "She needs to drink this as soon as she wakes up."
"What is it?"
He frowns. "I don't know, but God told me to make sure she drinks it."
She releases a breath. "Seriously?" Her phone rings, and she holds up her hand. "Hold that thought." She answers it. "Yes." She stares at him. "Yes. I'm on my way." She hangs up the phone and slides it back into her pocket.
"Was that the hospital?"
She sternly states, "You're coming with me."
"Yes, Your Highness."
When they reach Mal's room, they see Dr. Roberts. "How is she?"
He turns to Belle. "Everything checks out. Good breathing. Good memory. She can feel the heat."
"She needs to drink this."
Aziz offers the vile, and the doctor takes it. "What is it? Honey?"
"God gave it to me. She needs it for a full recovery."
"God?" he questions.
"He came to see her at the end of visiting hours," Aziz hurries. "He did something to help her, but He said she needs that right away."
"What did the man look like?"
"He had white hair and a beard. With blue eyes." Aziz asserts, "It was Him."
"Did he wear a robe too?" Belle questions.
"Exactly," Aziz excites.
"Could have been a patient with mental incapacities," she concludes.
"We're normally made aware of any patients who consider themselves healers," Dr. Roberts says, "but I'll have the cameras checked."
"I'll drink it," Mal interrupts.
Belle grins. "You don't believe it?"
"It could have been Zeus." She frowns. "White hair and beard with blue eyes. Maybe they're the same god." Aziz stays silent. She has to drink it at any cost.
Belle shakes her head. "And why would Zeus care about you? If they are gods, people would be like ants to them."
"Hades cared about me," she reminds her. "Maybe Zeus thought I deserved a second chance." Her eyes shift. "Maybe they thought they could use me one day."
"I need to figure out what it is before I can give it to you," the doctor says.
Mal shakes her head, "Why? Because it could kill me? I'm immune to poison."
"We don't know how your immune system is right now."
Mal huffs, and a small, blue flame escapes her lips. "Seems to be working to me."
"Was it always that color?" Belle inquires.
"Blue flames are hotter," Dr. Roberts explains away.
"If he told him that it's important I drink it," Mal asserts, "then I want it."
"Normally, there's paperwork to sign," he comments.
"Fuck the paperwork," she angers. "I almost died, right? That's why some kid I barely know is here to give me something he thinks God gave him for me?" She shakes her head. "How long have I been like this, anyway?"
"Over a week."
"Okay. Seriously." She outstretches her hand. "Give it to me." The doctor fails to respond, and she raises her eyebrows. "I could always make you give it to me." Dr. Roberts glances at Belle before he hands the vile to Mal. "Thank you."
She uncorks it with her teeth and brings it to her lips. "Does it taste bitter?"
She licks her lips. "It tastes like a burnt, bloody steak. I want more."
"The man didn't just give her steak grease?" Belle disbelieves.
"How do you feel?" Dr. Roberts asks.
"Like eating everyone," Mal divulges.
He laughs. "Yes, well, I'm afraid humans aren't on the menu."
She scans the room. "No. They wouldn't be."
"Do your shoulder blades still hurt?"
Mal rolls her shoulders. "Nah. They're good." She stands from the bed. "I can't believe you kept me on my back this entire time."
"People normally complain about their feet or lower back," he informs. "It's concerning to me that it was your shoulder blades that hurt."
"Well, they don't now." She pulls at the hospital gown. "Who the fuck undressed me?"
"You came in wearing your underwear and a bedsheet."
Mal's eyes shift left, as her breathing becomes shallow and quick. She reaches for the edge of the bed and sits down. "Ben."
"What about Ben?" Belle asks.
She plants her face in her hands and cries. "Why doesn't he love me?"
"Mal." Belle steps forward. "I know Ben loves you."
"No, he doesn't," she rejects. "He loves you. He's never hurt you."
"What?" Aziz intrudes.
Dr. Roberts comments, "She drank it. You need to leave." Aziz stands from the chair, leaves, and he moves into Belle's view. "I will be back."
After he exits the room, Belle moves the chair next to Mal. "The only reason why Ben hasn't hurt me is because he's afraid of Adam. He knows if he hurts me, he could be locked up, out of a home, or worse."
"You're saying I'm not intimidating enough."
"No. Of course, not." Belle reassures, "You are very intimidating. I suppose, the difference is… you're not afraid of him." She looks up and Belle glances down. "I'm afraid of my own son, and on some level, he knows that. It makes him distant." Mal remains silent. "I've thought about giving him what he wants, so I could have some kind of relationship with him. He feels like if he can't have me that way, it hurts too much to have me at all."
"Is that what you want?" Mal murmurs. "To give yourself to him?"
"No. Of course, not." She uneasily smiles. "But I've spent my life giving myself up to the wishes of other people, and I've done it so much… my last resorts feel like my only options now." She wipes the tears from her eyes. "Maybe I need therapy or some kind of help, but Adam would never allow that."
"He would if you told him you were thinking about cheating on him with your son."
"I don't think he would." Belle rests her elbow on her leg as she brings her knuckles to her lips. "I think he would blame it on Ben." She blinks fast to keep the tears at bay. "I think he would hurt him, and it would be my fault." She gulps. "If Ben needs boundaries to keep himself from doing something inappropriate, then I have to respect that. I just don't know how." Her phone rings, and she closes her eyes at sight of the caller ID. "Speaking of which." She stands from the seat and heads into the hall.
Mal feels the vile in between her fingers and tips it into her mouth again. Maybe if she waits long enough, the droplet on the bottom will drip to the opening. She wets her lips and takes a deep breath. It can't be gone. "Mal?" Dr. Roberts steps into the room. "What are you doing?"
"It was so good."
"I think it's gone." He lays the blue pants on the bed and takes the vile from her. "Here." He offers her the cup. "Try this."
She takes the warm cup and sips the blood. "Thank you."
"I know you prefer milk," he acknowledges, "but given how long you've gone without meat, I wouldn't be surprised if you craved more blood this week."
She finishes off the glass. "I think you're right."
He takes the glass back from her. "You will need a psychological evaluation before you leave. In the meantime, I found a spare pair of pants for you."
She takes the cotton, drawstring pants in her hands. "No shirt."
"You'll have to make do with the hospital grown." He explains, "If I give you full scrubs, someone could mistake you for a nurse."
She pulls the pants up underneath the dress. "Mistake me? I'm the king's girlfriend, and I have purple hair." Mal rolls her eyes before she finds the sink and looks in the mirror. Her curls are messy, and she touches her purple roots. "Why do I even bother? If I keep getting hospitalized, I should stop trying to make it brown." She turns and forces a smile. "So, when do I get to leave?"
He takes a moment. "Well, how do you feel about medication?"
"Medication?" her eyes widen.
"To stabilize your mood."
She huffs. "Ben tried to trade a bottle of wine for a quart of my blood, I got upset, and that means I need medication?"
"It could help you think things through." He compromises, "But if you think it's situational you can report the incident to the police and enter an in-patient program for some self-reflection. I have no intention to victim blame here."
She sits back down and rubs her head. "I can't turn Ben in. If I never ate, I'd probably be doing the same crap too."
"If it makes you feel better," he informs, "the city is looking to send Ben to the feeding clinic as soon as they find him."
"What?" Mal looks up at him. "Why?"
"He went on live television and said he's been trying to starve himself to death." He pauses. "When a royal in power is trying to kill themselves, it's considered a state of emergency. He won't be allowed to be released until the council signs off on it."
"So, where is he now?"
Belle enters the room. "You're going to have to ask your girlfriend that. We haven't gotten anything out of her." She turns towards the doctor. "Can we go now?"
"She needs to be evaluated," he reminds her. "She just recovered from a suicide attempt. She should be put on a seventy-two-hour hold."
Mal's stomach roars, and Belle laughs. "And what do you plan on feeding her? If I take her home, there's five pounds of meat in the fridge at any given time."
He sternly replies, "If I let her go with you, she's your responsibility. You need to keep an eye on her, you need to make sure she doesn't relapse, and you need to make sure she isn't left alone with Ben."
"Of course."
"And bring her back tomorrow," he finishes.
"Yes," she agrees.
"Where's Ben?"
Evie grins when she sees Mal in the hall and runs over to her. "Mal." She hugs her tight, and Mal raises her arms. "You're alive."
"Where's Ben?" she questions again.
Evie lets go. "Ben?" She uneasily smiles. "I haven't seen him."
Mal nods to the tablet. "Isn't that his?"
"Uh, yeah." She faces her. "He gave me the key to his office."
"That's the thing he used to give us our IDs," Mal notes. "What are you doing with it?" Evie fails to speak, and Mal strides past her.
"Mal," Evie calls after her, before she races behind her.
When they get to Evie's room, Beth steps out of the bathroom and Mal gapes. "What in Hades' hell is this?"
Evie shuts the door and strains a grin. "Mal. Meet Beth."
"Beth looks a lot like Ben," Mal accuses, before she walks over to her. "What the hell are you doing?"
Beth lifts a shoulder. "I wanted to be someone else."
"But a girl?" Mal emphasizes.
"What's wrong with that?"
"Ben." She tightly holds his arms. "You're not a girl."
Beth frowns. "Ben's not here."
"Ben." Her pitch raises. "You have to see this isn't right."
"I spent my entire life as the person my parents wanted me to be," she comments. "Ben's not me, and I don't like the person he's made me become. I'd like to just be me for a little while." Mal lets go, and she asks, "What's wrong? You don't like me?"
"No," Mal asserts. "I don't."
"But you hardly even know me."
Mal eyes Beth up-and-down. "You're right. I don't." She blinks, and tears invade her eyes. "Tell Ben that I'm entering a program at the hospital. If he still wants a girlfriend, he will apologize for what he did to me and mean it."
"Mal." Beth takes her hand. "I am sorry."
Mal pulls away. "Who? You or Ben?"
Beth fails to speak, Mal strides away, and Evie catches up with her in the hall. "Hey."
She turns Mal around, and Mal infuriates, "Whatever you say, it better be something that makes me feel better."
"If you heard anything when you were in that coma," Evie desperately states, "then you know Ben felt very guilty about what he did."
Mal whispers, "If he really felt guilty, he would have taken that wig off and apologized while I was conscious."
Evie quiets, "What's wrong with him wanting to be Beth?"
"Because." Mal shakes. "I didn't need Beth. I needed Ben. His girlfriend just got out of the hospital. He should have been here for me."
"Hey." Evie softly speaks, "I'm here."
Mal gulps. "Eves. I've never had any doubts about you. You never hurt me. Ben did. He's the one I need to talk to."
Evie cautions, "With the city looking for him and you getting treatment, I feel like it's going to be a while."
"Then Ben can write a letter." She half laughs, "And Beth can give it to me." She breaks into sobs, and Evie places a hand on her back.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"No." Mal shakes her head. "I don't think I am."
"Focus on me," Evie suggests, but when Mal faces, her eyes are squeezed shut. Evie kisses her, and Mal relaxes.
She opens her eyes. "E. What's wrong?"
Evie examines her. "You're warm."
"I've been under a heat lamp all week." She notices Evie's concern. "Why? Do you feel like something's wrong?"
"No." Evie smiles. "I'm happy for you."
"Maybe I'm just hungry," Mal considers. "I still feel like eating everyone." She releases a breath, and the flames escape her lips.
"It's, like, ice blue."
"It's warmer." She meets Evie's eyes. "That's good, isn't it?"
"If you're able to hold heat longer, then that part of your brain is better than it was before." Mal's eyes shift, and Evie asks. "What happened? How are you better?"
Mal shrugs. "You're the one who said the gods would bow to me."
"Does this mean your sex drive and emotions are higher too?"
"God." Mal's mouth cracks open. "I hope not."
"I heard you signed yourself back in early last night," the therapist notes. "What were you feeling like when you made that decision?"
Mal eyes the floor. "Like my life didn't matter." She clasps her hands. "Everyone's just making all these decisions without me." She meets her bright, brown eyes. "I almost died, and when I woke up, no one I loved was there for me. I wanted to see if I could find Ben. I needed an apology, but then I found out Ben ran off to pretend to be someone else."
"What about your friends?" she inquires.
"Friends?"
"Evie. Jay. Carlos," she lists.
"Only one of those are a friend," she informs. "Jay's like my brother. Evie's my girlfriend… even if it feels like she's on Ben's side all the time."
"When you say 'girlfriend'," she starts.
"I was dating her before I ever met Ben," Mal finishes, and the therapist nods. "I know it's not legal here."
"I was just thinking," she continues, "if you were dating Evie before you met Ben, then why's it important that you make things up with Ben now?"
"Because." She answers, "Things are different now."
"How so?"
"She just keeps defending him." Mal realizes, "She's not devoted to me, anymore."
"Is that bad?"
"Yes." Mal sighs. "No." She brings a hand to her head. "I don't know."
"Maybe you'd like to explain what makes it good and bad?"
Mal nods, before she sniffles. "Well, it's not like she's devoted to another person. It took her a long time to get along with Ben, but now she's devoted to the relationship I have with him." She rubs her arm. "If Ben and I can't communicate, she's always there to clear things up. I just wish she'd focus a little more on me right now."
"If she's not focused on you, what do you think she's focused on?"
"Ben."
"You think she's in contact with him?"
"I know she is," Mal's eyes widen. "He's just too much of a wuss to show himself."
