CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR
Tonks could faintly hear Lupin's voice saying something in too low tones for her to make out. His broken, soft, quiet reserved tones seemed to call to her with an intense despair and a horrible, heavy hopelessness, that for a moment, Tonks thought was a dream, a nightmare.
She could not recall a time when her husband's voice sounded so…so…desperate, so sad. As if everything he had ever loved and cared for had been ripped away from him in one fell swoop.
But…why? Why was Remus in such pain?
What had happened while she'd been out? Lupin shouldn't be in such turmoil, such agony, though his voice currently suggested otherwise, that something was wrong.
Very, horribly wrong with him. She had to find out what was wrong, to stop this.
Tonks let out the tiniest of sighs and struggled, realizing that as her mind slowly began to lift from the after-effects of the haze of sleep given to her courtesy of the Sleeping Draught her husband and Madam Pomfrey had made her drink every drop of, she now had to find a way to wake herself up physically, which was admittedly harder.
A challenge Tonks already found demanding. Her subconsciousness wanted nothing more than to succumb to the sweet blissful abyss of a deep sleep for a few days.
Everything felt heavy, though her eyelids slowly fluttered open, and the tiniest of groans escaped her parted, cracked lips, as she cautiously sat upright in the hospital bed.
Even that proved to be physically exhaustive, as a fresh and immense wave of exhaustion and tiredness pressed down like a weight on her shoulders, encouraging her to lay her head back against the fluffy pillow and the pile of blankets and just… sleep.
Sleep. Something Tonks would love to continue and could not seem to get enough of. She was exhausted, both in body and soul, not to mention, this was barely the first month of her first trimester and she was already so damned bloody exhausted.
Though the anguished yell of her husband, laced to the brim with such an antagonized sense of hurt and sorrow ripped through the thin, crumbling walls of her mind, alerting Tonks to the simple fact that something was wrong with her husband.
Tonks bolted upright in her bed and immediately regretted that decision, having sat up so quickly in her haste to see what was wrong with Remus that the Hospital Room began to spin, and black dots covered the corners of her blurry line of sight.
Feeling lightheaded, Tonks immediately shot out an arm against the cold, cobblestone wall behind the bed, using the wall as a support brace to steady herself.
That was…probably not the smartest move Tonks could have made.
She stifled a growl of frustration and tightly clenched her eyes shut, grinding her teeth in anticipation as a horrible swell of nausea wracked her entire body until the dizziness left.
The muffled whimper of a familiar man's voice caught her attention once Tonks was certain the room wasn't going to move anymore, causing her ears to perk right up.
"R—Remus, p—please don't do this. J—James wouldn't have wanted me killed!"
Tonks furrowed her brows in a frown.
She knew that voice. The—the rat, she thought wildly, biting the inside wall of her cheek. Oh, that's Peter Pettigrew, but…
Tonks thought she'd heard…but no. That couldn't be. Her Rem wouldn't do that.
Then she heard it again. A low voice, dangerously soft and quiet, almost.
"…Goodbye, Peter…" That was Remus's voice! Tonks froze, her face draining of color.
Sanguinely, she lifted her head, her breaths slowly returning to normal as her heart rate slowed down, though the damned corded stubborn muscle within the confines of her chest began to beat erratically again as she looked across the way of the large room.
But where was it coming from? It sounded so far away from her, and muffled, like the pair of them were underwater, or was that just the ringing in her ears?
Shaking her head, cursing wildly under her breath, her retribution for her pausing, Tonks felt her head whiplash sharply upward as she heard Peter Pettigrew let out a yell.
Tonks blinked, her frown deepening, as both the Minister of Magic and Professor Dumbledore each had their wands pointed at the very man who held her heart and soul.
Remus had unceremoniously thrown the murderer of Harry's parents, his best friend and his wife, against one of the brick walls of the Hospital Wing, a fistful seized around the material of his jacket, his wand poised to kill him.
And at that, for a moment, Tonks cowered. Her depleted strength crumpled even further, and her soul felt for Remus. All she could see now was a reflection of herself.
The rage and anger she had felt toward the Carrow twins all those years ago when she had thought they had murdered Ollie, how she felt a few days ago towards Crouch.
When she had allowed the She-Wolf within her to be set free of her chains and succumb to her savage, uncontrollable Animagus form and rip them both to shreds.
No one even this Hospital Wing, not Remus, not Dumbledore, not Scrimgeour, Merlin's Beard, not even Professor Snape, knew the devastation that was now rocking Tonks to her core and turned her fragile heart into shattered pieces of broken glass.
To hold the very weapon in your hand that could end another person's life.
Now that she had met James and Lily for herself, however unorthodox it had been to talk to their deceased spirits, little more than caricatures of their real selves in the afterlife, Tonks firmly believed that Harry's parents would not have their friend to kill Peter.
No matter what Peter Pettigrew had or had not done to warrant such a death sentence. Her heart practically ceased its rhythmic beating within her chest and raw panic swept over her entire battered and bruised form like a dark shadow.
Tonks knew that if she were to allow her husband to murder Pettigrew in cold blood like this, in front of the Minister of Magic and Albus Dumbledore, and did nothing to stop Remus, then Lupin would come to regret killing him the rest of his life.
To hear Pettigrew's screams and have it been trapped and replayed like a song on repeat, over and over again.
To look into the man's frightened, tear-filled eyes, red-rimmed at the edge of his irises, a look that still spoke of friendship and forgiveness despite the tip of his wand pressed squarely into Harry's parents' betrayer's chest.
Oh, but Merlin's Beard, Remus did not know what that was like…how it would wreck his psyche, much as it had done to her, and mold him into a truly vile monster.
A monster that would manifest every single second without even the slightest hint.
And then there was the horrible, fatigued ringing in her eardrums, unrelenting, and in her mind, was a heavy dissonance, almost a tolling of a death bell for Pettigrew.
Tonks ground her teeth, feeling her body violently begin to shiver and quake, her chest tightening, while her breathing trembled, horror the only spirit left alive in her eyes.
She could not allow this to happen. She watched the scene unfold in slow motion.
The tip of Remus's wand pointed squarely into Peter Pettigrew's chest, Remus snarling and growling at his former friend and Hogwarts classmate like the Wolf he was.
Peter howled with tightly shut eyes, scrunching his eyes as Lupin raised his wand.
Tonks remembered. Tonks remembered killing both Alecto and Amycus Carrow, and her heart violently ripped to pieces, and it was that memory that inspired response.
Summoning what little strength she possessed left, Tonks balled her shaking hands into a fist at her side and summoned every last ounce of breath that dwelled within her lungs, and perhaps for the first time in her life since knowing him, shouted at Remus.
"REMUS, NO! STOP!"
She could only pray that she wasn't too late to stop him.
Lupin heard the pleading scream of a familiar woman's voice behind him, calling to him, broken, faint, so faint her voice was as a soft susurration as a whisper of wind.
Though his thoughts of seeking retribution against Pettigrew for what Peter had done, not just to James and Lily, but to his beloved wife as well, warred so violently within him and his mind had become so clouded that soon all that was left was the Wolf, that he could no longer discern who the woman's voice belonged to.
Surely, it couldn't be Tonks. She was still sleeping, as he'd left her not but a few seconds ago.
Perhaps McGonagall or Norah? Remus let out a low wolfish growl from the confines of his chest and shook his head to clear it.
His angers towards Peter had escalated to an entirely new level as his mind dwelled on images of Tonks suffering and in immense pain from how he had found her in the brush of the Forbidden Forest.
The fact that this man had played a part in Dolores Umbridge's vicious scheme to try to terminate Dora's pregnancy played in his mind like a serious of painful memories.
Over and over again, until it was all that he could think of. Peter Pettigrew had almost murdered their baby, with no regard for the amount of pain it would cause Tonks not just physically, but emotionally as well, and Lupin's anguish at losing their baby as well, he had not thought when he had slipped his wife the tea laced with the abortifacient.
No. Peter, as always, had been looking out for himself and only himself.
And now, no one could stop something so exhilarating as killing this wretched rat. Not Sirius, not Dumbledore, not even the Minster could stop the storm raging war within his heart and mind as he allowed black, vile, putrid thoughts of revenge to cloud his mind.
The calm voice, Lily's sweet, succulent voice, as she begged and pleaded with Remus not to do this, her voice of reason and sense had all but faded from the recesses of his mind, leaving Remus with only his pure, unbridled rancor, loss, and pain.
He had to kill Peter right here and now, before Pettigrew hurt anyone else.
"REMUS! NO! STOP!" A young woman's voice rent through the otherwise silent air, occasionally broken by the curt and clipped tones of Scrimgeour and Dumbledore, which Lupin was pointedly ignoring.
He would deal with Albus's displeasure later. Much, much later, Remus knew this.
After Pettigrew was dead…
Though even as he raised his wand and the command came again, this time to lower his wand, he didn't, and only when something hard instantly collide against his chest, small, shaking arms wrapping themselves tightly around his middle, did he feel something warm and wet begin to the soak the front of his jacket. And a sweet voice.
A voice calling his name. No, scratch that. Not calling. Begging him to stop this. This voice of this woman, whoever she was, so frantic and desperate, was pleading with him, with the Wolf, to cease their conjoined madness and stop this behavior at once.
Remus let out a low wolfish growl, feeling his facial muscles harden as Lupin glanced down to see who dared to step in between himself and Pettigrew, to stop this.
He wanted Pettigrew dead, and he was not in a patient mood, and Merlin help whoever was about to try to intervene and stand in his way of killing Peter where the accursed wretch of a man, what was left of him, stood, though by the time the Wolf, that Mad Beast within him, finished with Pettigrew, there wouldn't be anything left.
"Don't, Rem! Put—put it down! Lower your wand! Please, please put it away!"
Through the fog of his utterly blinding rage as he heard the Wolf snarl and growl its displeasure, knowing full well the full moon was a few hours away, though Snape had seen to it the first thing upon returning within the castle walls to take his Wolfsbane Potion by bequest of Albus Dumbledore, he was able to recognize the voice of his wife.
Dora's sweet face flashed through his mind. The image of a bright young witch in her mid-twenties who had so easily captured and stolen his heart before he knew it was gone, with wavy maroon-colored hair most days that cascaded, falling in soft layers and gentle curls to just past her shoulders, thick and luscious, the touch of it truly delish.
Though it was her sweet, succulent smile that Remus cherished the most.
"Pettigrew isn't worth killing, Remus! Please lower your wand! Listen to me!"
Tonks's smile was so wide, white, and bright, that Lupin was sure no other witch on Merlin's green earth held such a smile, and he wondered unclearly for a moment just how it could be contained on her face, how the corners of her light, full, pink lips seemed to stretch and touch her ears, creating faint dimples whenever Tonks did smile.
Lupin blinked, feeling a tightening on his backside, and then he blinked a second time, and then a third, blinking owlishly at the figure of his wife wrapped around his middle, pleading with him to lower his wand, seeing the revolt that screamed in her.
"Dora." He breathed, his light brown eyes widening in shock, and immediately, by whatever spell Remus had been placed under temporarily as he had almost allowed his inner Wolf to take control, the woman's image shattered his already tender heart.
This young witch was pregnant with his baby and was his wife. Lupin blinked and was immediately thrust back into the harsh, dark reality of his current little predicament.
Namely, being plagued with the matter that Pettigrew still drew in breath while James and Lily's bodies were buried six feet under in Godric's Hollow chafed Remus.
Tonks was breathing raggedly and somewhat violently, gasping and panting for breath, and Remus briefly wondered how it was that Dora had managed to pull herself from such a deep sleep, considering Madame Pomfrey's Sleeping Draughts tended to put you on a whole different plane of existence deep into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.
Unwillingly, every bit of the Wolf within him complied with his wife's request, though the beast bellowed with a begrudging obedience, his wand hand almost shaking.
Even Remus himself could not quite pinpoint and identify where the strength to rebel against the Wolf's baser urges, this almost primeval instinct to rip Peter apart limb from limb was coming from. He felt absolutely resolute that Peter needed to be killed.
He wanted to see the moment that light left Peter Pettigrew's eyes, that witless rat, that worm, that betrayer. His stomach twisted in glee as he wanted nothing more than to do it himself, watch as the lifeforce within Peter Pettigrew became extinguished.
Remus knew what he was. A Wolf. There was no denying this. The Wolf within him was made for this. Built and raised for this.
The Wolf within wanted Peter dead.
But what in Merlin's name just happened? Dazed and not fully quite coherent yet, Remus glanced down at his wand, which shook so violently in his wand hand he was amazed he was somehow upholding a steady grip upon the weapon, and then to her.
His sweet, innocent, lovely wife, her head currently nestled within his chest, and at that precise moment, Remus felt as though he had been struck squarely in the chest with a particularly powerful Knockback Jinx.
Hard. Tonks was…was crying for him.
No, she was not just crying, she was…sobbing. For…for him. She didn't want him to kill Peter, not even after the part that Pettigrew had played in Umbridge's plan.
Remus blinked at his wife, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing. He would have thought, considering everything that Barty Crouch Jr, Umbridge, and Peter had collectively put her through, that Tonks would have understood more than anyone.
Why he couldn't let Peter live, but she—
"Please, Remus!" Tonks's voice had now become hoarse, nothing more than a whispered plea, as though what little hope and energy remained her voice, had drained. "Do not kill Pettigrew, don't. You'll—you'll regret it for the rest of your life, love."
Remus bristled, feeling the fine hairs on the back of his neck stand up as his throat hollowed and constricted, and it felt as though he could not breathe at hearing her words. "No," he growled in a low, threatening voice as his gaze flitted towards Peter.
Pettigrew was further attempting to curl himself into a fetal position, his odd squeaking chitters, sounding every bit like the rat that Remus always knew the man to be, turned into terrifying little squeaks as the man squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation.
"Y—you're making a mistake, Remus," Tonks whispered, sniffling once or twice as she pulled back slightly to study her husband's pale face, seeing the whiskers of his rough, light beard almost stand upright of their own accord in barely contained anger.
Lupin blinked, having to stare down his nose as he looked at his wife in quandary. Remus felt his teeth chattering, and he knew it wasn't from the cold, but rather, heartbreak.
He could feel his heartbeats breaking in his throat, his heart thrumming wildly against the confines of its cage within his chest until he felt sure his heart would escape.
Electric, tingling spasms filled his fingertips, which he tried to hide by dropping his wand, wincing as it clattered to the floor, not even bothering to pick it up, and wrapping his strong arms around his wife, trying to hide his violent, trembling fingers.
"Remus?" Her sweet voice. Never before had he heard Tonks speak to him in such broken tones before, sounding so helpless, so vulnerable and utterly exhausted.
"Dora?" Lupin cringed at hearing the faltering crack and dip in his voice as it trembled, wavering, and for a moment, he thought he wasn't going to be able to convince himself that this was somehow another one of the Forest's cruel tricks.
That the dark enchantments of the Forbidden Forest had followed him back to the castle somehow and had once again for a fourth or fifth time, separated him from Dora.
Lupin furrowed his dark brows into a frown as his fingers curled tightly around Tonks's shirt for support. He was speaking to his wife as if he had never seen Tonks before.
No, that wasn't quite right. This was not one of the Forest's filthy tricks. More in that Remus was shocked to find Tonks in such a state of distress over Pettigrew.
Tonks was clinging onto the material of his jacket, her head buried within his chest as if she somehow thought that Remus would just disappear in front of her.
Though upon hearing the faltering crack and wavering of her husband's quiet tones, his wife quickly drew back her head and craned her neck upright to look Remus in the eyes with such a sense of relief and wonderment brimming in her glistening gray orbs, that he felt his heart within his chest give a quiver and a painful, twisting lurch.
Whether this feeling stemmed from the overwhelming sense of dependency as Lupin realized his wife was yet again the one who had pulled him back from the darkness within his own heart, as he realized what he had almost done to Pettigrew.
Not Dumbledore, not the Minister of Magic, but Tonks had saved him. Again.
Remus had been about to commit murder within the very walls of Hogwarts herself.
Yet…Tonks… Dora had stopped him from killing the very man who had almost succeeded in ridding Tonks of their baby, and while Remus had allowed the Wolf within to take control when his mind had been in its most dangerous and vulnerable state, open and willing to suggestive thoughts of a bloody, violent death for Pettigrew, each one worse than the last for Peter, and surely would have sealed his fate if not for her.
When his heart had been filled with fierce, burning rancor, a rage that fevered in his bloodstream that he had never known before, Tonks had been the one to stop him.
From what, Remus couldn't even remember. The only thing he could focus on was Dora, who was suffering, in deep pain as she silently cried into his chest, and all Lupin could think about was how to end it and stop it from hurting his wife more.
His hold on his wife tightened as he drew Tonks's sobbing form in even closer into him.
One of his hands drifted upward and entangled itself in her wavy maroon tresses while the other rested on the small of her back, slowly rubbing small circles on her spine.
Lupin allowed his chin to rest on top of Dora's hair, nostrils flaring as he inhaled the scent of pinewood, elm bark, and the faint scent of autumn rainfall on her person.
A few more deep breaths as he allowed his wife's natural scent to calm him.
What had he almost done to Peter Pettigrew?
He couldn't even remember as his heartbeats slowly returned to normal, the feeble quivering muscle within his chest now calmed.
Though the split second that Tonks shifted her head just slightly, and Remus caught sight of Peter's cowering frame as he attempted to retreat and quit the scene entirely, only to be held at wand point by none other than Sirius, who had come to check on his best friend and baby cousin and make sure they were both okay, a grim expression etched on his handsome features, his face pulled taut and tight with rage.
Sirius slowly lifted his chin and jutted it out slightly defiantly, effectively blocking the only doorway with his slender but imposing and stockier frame than Peter's.
"It's over Peter," Sirius growled lowly from deep within his chest, his voice sounding rougher and coarser than it had during his time in the Forbidden Forest. "You aren't going anywhere that Professor Dumbledore does not want you to, and I think we'll let the Dementors of Azkaban have you, wouldn't you say?" Sirius snarled, seeming to relish and take sick delight at watching Peter let out a squeak of terror.
"No, n—no, please! H—have m—mercy, Sirius! They'll—they'll give me the Kiss!" Peter squeaked, shoving his dirtied, blackened knuckles (what was left of them) into his mouth and nibbling at their frayed edges, chittering, much like a rat would do.
He kept his wand steadily trained at Peter's chest, glowering, and shooting Wormtail a look of daggers, though his blazing gray eyes flitted angrily towards Lupin.
"Why should I show you an ounce of mercy, Pettigrew? You didn't extend that same courtesy to the Potters when you sold them out to Voldemort," Sirius challenged hotly, the edges of his voice hardened and devoid of all affection, almost sounding unrecognizable, to both Remus and Tonks.
Lupin could tell just by looking into his wife's glistening gray eyes, at the tears rolling gracefully down her pale cheeks that she was just as stunned by the sudden shift, this new countenance in her cousin as Remus was.
Sirius shifted his weight from one foot to the other and filled his best friend with an absolutely poisonous glower, silently challenging Remus to tell him why he had not done it.
Remus could feel the intensity despite feeling Tonks gingerly tug on his sleeve.
Leave. Leave now. You need to leave before things escalate even worse.
Remus felt his posture stiffen and he offered a silent but curt nod towards Sirius, before pulling his attention back to Tonks, who was, for the moment, commanding all his attention.
Tonks's lips were parted open slightly to speak, a fierce determination and resolve evident upon her ashen features that Remus was not sure he had seen in his wife before.
"Because then you would be no better than a Death Eater, Sirius," Tonks said, her voice a soft susurration, as her gaze nervously flitted towards Dumbledore and Rufus.
Sirius blinked in surprise, though her cousin offered no comment. Lupin sighed as she began to shift herself to where she was more or less pressed firmly against his chest.
Remus tried to placate her into going back to the bed and laying down, that she should be resting, but Tonks shook her head slightly in light protest.
Lupin let out a tiny, barely audible groan at his wife's refusal to stay still, though his grip around her waist tightened, just in case her strength left her as quickly as it had done in the Forest.
He could tell by the way Dora shook slightly that her equilibrium was still a bit off balance, and in order to keep her balance, she wrapped her arms around Lupin's neck, pulling him down slightly, almost as though she made to kiss him, but she did not, careful not to try to choke him on accident as she did so, and after a few minutes of quiet protesting under her breath, reluctantly allowed her husband to guide her back.
"Here," he murmured helping Tonks to lay back against the pillows, fluffing them for her and pulling up his chair so that he could sit closer to his wife's bedside. "Rest."
Remus waited until Tonks was better situated before turning his head slowly and methodically to regard Peter Pettigrew, pleased to see Sirius still keeping his wand trained on Pettigrew's hunched over, cowering form.
Sirius let out a growl and sighed.
"You're making a mistake, Remus. Tonks. He killed James and Lily, Remus! Merlin's left testicle, he tried to poison your wife! My baby cousin! You would really grant him a reprieve from death after all of that? This man does not deserve to live, but it does not matter to me," Sirius snarled, his voice escaping his throat as a low bark. His gaze briefly flitted upwards to Tonks before returning his attention back to their former friend. "I am not the one that you almost killed, Peter. Let's let her decide your fate, Peter. Tonks?" Sirius barked, struggling to maintain a fast, steady grip on his wand.
But Tonks shook her head, a curl tumbling in front of her face as she ducked her head, and when she blearily lifted her chin to regard Remus, he was surprised to see the dried tear tracts that marred along her pale cheeks as his wife fixed him with a pointed stare.
"It's your call, Rem," Dora whispered faintly, reaching across the edge of the bed and taking his hand in hers with her left, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, allowing the pads of her fingertips to ghost along his gold wedding ring. "Peter is your friend, Rem."
Remus bit the inside wall of his cheek and stayed silent for several, long excruciating minutes while he weighed his options, and what he thought James and Lily would have wanted.
He had hoped to hear his friends' voices once more in his head, to seek their counsel on what he and Sirius should allow to happen to Peter, but perhaps for the first time since their deaths, his friends were silent on this matter, and he knew.
That this choice, whether to allow Peter Pettigrew to live or not, was his choice and his alone to make, and his family—James, Lily, Sirius, and Dora—could not help him.
Remus allowed his sharp, inquisitive gaze to drift upward and regard his best friend, to see how Sirius's fingers of his wand hand were practically twitching in ire, his entire body shaking, teeth ground in anger, and Lupin swore he heard Black growl with the effort to restrain himself from killing Pettigrew in cold blood right here in front of everyone, though Lupin could tell Sirius was thinking the exact same thing as he was.
James and Lily would not have wanted their two best friends to become killers.
"Let him go, Sirius. Leave him for the Aurors when they come to pick up Umbridge. The Dementors can have him for all I care, but this isn't worth killing Peter over, my friend," Lupin answered at last, albeit with great difficulty as he spoke the words through gritted teeth, his free hand not curled tightly around Tonks's in a vice grip as he wished some of his wife's inner strength would pour into him, give his soul the very courage he needed to do this, "Let him rot in a cell in Azkaban Prison, Sirius."
The whiskers of Sirius's beard twitched without prompting in barely contained anger. "You're making a mistake, Remus, can't you see that Peter needs to d—"
"I know what I said," Remus snapped, unable to keep the note of annoyance out of his voice as he glanced sideways at Tonks out of the corner of his wolfish site. "Let the man go. He is not worth it," he retorted, feeling his teeth start to chatter again.
Sirius nodded, gave a curt wave of his wand, and the instant he had finished, a length of rope spouted from the tip of his wand, snaking its way around Peter Pettigrew's cowering form.
Sirius conjured two chairs with another sharp tap of his wand, and violently shoved Peter into one, while he sat in the other, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back against his chair, adopting a casual, relaxed stance.
"Fine," Sirius barked, sounding thoroughly put off with Remus's ultimate decision, as the briefest flickers of anger coursed through his best friend's gray eyes.
Lupin emanated a tense exhale through his nose, twisting his head to the side as he rose from his seat, intent on seeing if Professor McGonagall or perhaps even Dobby, the little house-elf he had met the other night at his and Dora's wedding, would bring him and his wife a sandwich.
He didn't like how Tonks was looking. Much too pale for his liking, and he could not recall the last time his wife had a proper square meal, in days.
"Let him go, Sirius," he repeated again, his voice clipped and hard. The words felt like nettles in his tongue, but sweet as honeydew too, as he felt the weighted burden of the guilt of James and Lily's death, and his lack of action regarding not heeding Lily's concerns all those years ago over Pettigrew leave his shoulders, and Remus stood taller. "If you let me say it again, Sirius, I won't hesitate to jinx you with a Bat-Bogey Hex when you aren't looking, do you understand?" Remus growled, lowering his voice.
Though before Sirius could nod his head in response, Lupin turned away, dipping his head, not leaving himself any time to see his best friend's acrid face that he threatened.
Remus knew he would be wasting his efforts to argue any further on this with Sirius, and he bit the wall of his cheek before addressing his wife. "Sweetheart, I'm heading to the kitchens to get us something to eat. Is there anything you would like in particular, love?"
He stifled a smile as he heard the rustling of bed sheets, not even having to glance back behind him to know that Dora had practically perked up at the mention of food.
"Some hot cider would be great if they have any. Thank you, Rem," came his wife's sweet voice, so faint, it was barely more than a whisper. Remus nodded softly.
Lupin nodded, making to turn away on the heel of his boot to leave, not wanting to look at Peter Pettigrew any more than he had already been forced to. Deep within the confines of his chest and the pit of his churning, twisting stomach, Remus knew there was a horrible swelling, a need to know if what he had just done was the right thing.
That he had spared Peter's life. He wanted someone to tell him it wasn't foolish. That it was not stupid to save Pettigrew's life, knowing that he would full well probably have horrible dreams about this that plagued his conscience for the next several weeks until Lupin was fully able to come to terms with what he had done now.
It would be ugly…as ugly as his years thinking that Sirius had been the one to betray James and Lily and believing all along that Sirius had murdered Peter violently.
"A moment, please, Mr. Lupin," came Professor Dumbledore's voice, sounding solemn, and yet, there was a hint of steel within his ancient voice that told Remus he was not quite yet free to go, and that he must listen to what Albus had to say to him.
Stifling the groan that threatened to escape from the confines of his lips, Remus slowly turned around and almost sanguinely and methodically lifted his head after allowing himself a minute or two to close his eyes, trying to regain his composure.
"Professor," was all Lupin could summon the courage to muster by means of answering the Hogwarts Headmaster with as much dignity as he could, steeling himself for a lecture on proper edict and decorum within Hogwarts' walls, and how he had, just now, unknowingly or not, almost set a bad example for the students Albus was responsible for, teaching them that it was perfectly acceptable to almost murder a man.
Slowly, Remus lifted his gaze, jutting out his chin slightly defiantly, fully prepared to defend his actions against whatever claims Dumbledore was about to unleash against him, though, much to his (and Tonks's surprise), that moment for him did not come.
Instead, the Hogwarts Headmaster merely proceeded to peer inquisitively over the rims of his silver rimless half-moon spectacles with that piercing, icy-blue glacier stare of his that never failed to make Remus feel uneasy, as though he was baring down straight past Remus and seeing into the depths of his heart, his deepest desires, his baser urges.
Though, what the Headmaster did next surprised Lupin. The corners of his mouth and beard twitched as he slowly offered Remus a slight smile, inkling his head just so.
"Your previous position as Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor here at Hogwarts will be returned to you if you should so wish it, Professor Lupin," Albus began, his smile widening, his blue eyes taking on a mischievous, twinkling sheen.
Remus blinked, feeling rooted to his spot in the entryway of the Hospital Wing. He turned at the waist and regarded Albus Dumbledore before meeting Tonks's gaze.
He was pleased, at the very least, that Tonks seemed just as surprised as she was.
She was as white as chalk, and her mouth frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and though her gaze was meeting her husband's before flitting to Dumbledore and the Minister, and although she was staring straight at Scrimgeour and Albus, Tonks appeared not to notice them at all as her eyes drifted back and locked onto Lupin's gaze.
"I…" Words momentarily left him, until he witnessed Tonks give a slow, encouraging nod of her head as a lock of excitement began to seep into her gray eyes.
When he opened his mouth in an effort to express his gratitude towards Albus, the only thing that came out was a strangled attempt at speech, and he was debating whether or not he was having a panic attack or a heart attack, given his paralyzed state.
Tonks, Merlin bless her tired soul, was the first to recover from Dumbledore's unexpected and generous offer.
"I'm sure my husband would only be too delighted to come back, Albus. Wouldn't you, Rem?" Dora encouraged, not unkindly, biting her bottom lip.
Say yes, Moony, James encouraged, and Remus had to stifle the urge to jump in shock and surprise. You're going to have a new kid to support. You loved teaching here, it's your dream come true, isn't it? You'd be a fool to pass up this opportunity.
Lily, as always, the voice of reason, could not help jumping in and contributing her two thoughts to her husband's surprisingly mature piece of advice.
You'll regret it, Remus, if you don't do this. My husband is right. You've a wife and child to support, and with Tonks's new raise at the Ministry, if you accept Albus's offer, you won't want for anything in this world. And with the Anti-Werewolf Legislation Ban lifted, this solves so many of your problems. Snape and Tonks can brew the Wolfsbane for you.
What are you waiting for, Moony? James demanded. Take Dumbledore's offer!
Blinking once or twice until he heard his friends' voices inside his head become faint, Lupin swallowed down hard past the growing lump in his throat and had to blink a few times until he felt like he had regained the power of speech.
"I would like that very much, Headmaster," Remus managed to croak out, flinching at how hoarse he was.
It would be an honor to teach within Hogwarts' walls again at a subject he excelled in. Lupin bowed his head in acknowledgment, motioning with a wave of his arm for Dumbledore and Scrimgeour, accompanied by Sirius and Pettigrew, to follow them out. He did not know where Albus planned to detain Peter until the Aurors arrived to collect him and Umbridge, but Remus did know that he did not want Peter Pettigrew within ten feet of his wife while she was at her most vulnerable and tired.
"Excellent," beamed Dumbledore, clasping his fingers together and folding them in front of his middle as he gestured for Scrimgeour to follow him the moment he saw Madam Pomfrey bustling towards Tonks with a heavily laden medical supply tray. "Come, Minister. Sirius. Mr. Pettigrew," he added towards Peter, almost as an afterthought, though there was no mistaking the slight sniff of disgust and disapproval as he looked down his nose at the pathetic, cowering form of the stout, rat-like former Marauder. "Let us walk. I think it best if allow Mrs. Lupin ample time to rest and recover in a quiet environment with minimal distractions. And Remus, if you would kindly follow me, once you get your wife something to eat from the kitchens, I should like to meet with you in my office to discuss your return to Hogwarts next September. The students have been, shall we say, clamoring eagerly for your return, particularly Harry and his friends. Never before have I had one of my Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers receive such high praise, and I shall be delighted to welcome you back. With a raise."
Lupin blinked, once again feeling as though he had been doused in ice water, though he quickly nodded his agreement, knowing that Albus was not about to take no for an answer, and the fact that he now had a loving wife and a baby that he would have to support, he silently accepted Albus's gracious offer to return to Hogwarts.
He and Dora would have to move into Hogwarts into the staff quarters, at least during the school term, but the growing look of intrigue and excitement in her eyes told him that his wife would not object.
Things are finally starting to look up for us both, he thought wondrously as Remus let out a tiny sigh as he stepped across the threshold that separated the Hospital Wing from the rest of Hogwarts, feeling free at last.
The Anti-Werewolf Legislation Ban had been lifted. Pettigrew, Crouch, and Umbridge all had cells with their names on them awaiting them in Azkaban, his wife was safe and relatively unharmed, their baby safe.
Remus glanced back over his shoulder, looking around for something he wanted to see but did not know what.
And then, he found it. He knew he found it when, upon seeing his wife seated upright in the hospital bed, he saw the noble, proud face of his sweet love.
Her hair, a dark, rich beautiful plum color this evening, seemed like it glowed amongst the dreary stone walls of the Hospital Wing.
For just a moment, as their gazes met and locked in a brief stare before her eyelids closed as exhaustion slowly began to overtake her, Remus swore he saw Tonks smile.
Though the long silence within the Hospital Wing felt like to Lupin that it stretched out forever, was promptly broken by the sounds of despaired shouting as it rent the air, causing Remus, Dumbledore, Scrimgeour, Sirius, and even Peter, to swivel their heads to their immediate left, all of them looking for the source of the noise.
Lupin felt his heart plummet to the pits of his churning stomach as he recognized Dora's mother's thin, emaciated frame storming up the corridor, trailed behind by Ollie.
Tonks's best friend was pale, paler than Remus had ever seen Ollie Brennan, his tuft of short black hair that was beginning to grow back steadily after being shaved off by Crouch in one last show of humiliation was looking wild and disheveled, his face pulled taut and tight with rage, blue eyes cerulean in color and flashing angrily as the young man had to practically jog to keep up with Andromeda Tonks's long strides.
Mrs. Tonks practically skidded to a halt when she reached the Hospital Wing's entryway, her heavily-lidded dark eyes narrowed, and she did not so much as flinch or react when Ollie practically barreled her over in his attempt to stop and catch up to her.
"S—sir," Ollie wheezed, sounding winded and utterly out of breath, coughing and gasping for breath as he clutched onto his ribcage, turning to address Dumbledore. "M—my apologies, P—Professor, I—I told her Tonks wasn't up to receiving visitors, but..."
"She's my daughter, Brennan," Andromeda Tonks snarled viciously at Dora's best friend by way of response, rounding on the heel of her booth as she turned her wrath on Ollie before turning at the waist to regard Remus, whose expression remained stoic.
Instinctively, he felt his hand drift to the interior pocket of his jacket, where his fingers curled around the handle of his wand. It was a failing attempt to control the violent trembling that was threatening to overtake him as his anger returned tenfold.
Mrs. Tonks was currently eyeing her daughter's husband with a scrunched up expression, as though Remus were nothing more than dirt on the bottom of her shoe.
"So, Mr. Lupin," she spat in disgust, her sharp gaze drifting down to Remus's trembling left hand, where it lingered on his wedding band, the soft yellow gold glinting in the light from the torches from their places in the sconces along the walls of the castle. Andromeda stiffened and sighed. "I see that you have married my daughter."
Lupin flinched, feeling the contempt in Dora's mother's voice, her words poisonous, spewing from her mouth as though they were black, putrid, disgusting bile.
"Yes," he confirmed dryly, hardening the edges of his voice, letting out a tired sigh as he heard the rustling of the bedsheets, not even needing to look behind him to see that Dora had perked up upon hearing the arrival of her mother come to see her.
Andromeda made an odd little noise that sounded like a strangled attempt at a speech at the back of her throat, though upon sensing the darkening look of rancor growing in Remus's eyes, she let out a tired sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.
It seemed to take Mrs. Tonks an eternity to find her voice, and when she spoke, her voice cracked and faltered.
"I—I do not know how to tell you and Dora this, b—but…" She swallowed down hard past a growing lump in her throat, shooting out a hand, causing Remus to instinctively stiffen, though his hardened expression softened slightly as Mrs. Tonks laid a gentle hand on her son-in-law's shoulder and squeezed.
She leaned in slightly so as to try to speak to Remus directly, though she did not bother to lower her voice, craning her head over Lupin's shoulder to meet Tonks's gaze.
"Ted is dead, Remus. Dora," she whispered, her voice cracking as she blinked back tears. "I—I came to—to let you know. He was killed by a pair of Snatchers a few hours ago. We're—there was no b—body left for me to—to recover to bury him."
Lupin felt his heart sink at hearing his wife's heart-wrenching, tear-filled scream behind him.
"No! Mum! Tell me it's not true," Tonks begged, biting her bottom lip.
The heart-wrenching cry of agony ripped through the Hospital Wing, and Lupin swiveled his head back around as the quiet cry of grief and despair rang in his ears.
Instantly, he felt his anger return at Andromeda Tonks, though this time, for an entirely different reason as he whirled back around, intent on giving her mother a piece of his mind.
How dare she bring up the news to Tonks now that her father was dead, only mere hours after leaving the Forbidden Forest after several days of thinking that they might not make it out of those cursed woods alive, and now, she came here with this?
Lupin felt the Mad Beast within the confines of his chest give a low, wolfish growl.
Tonks, thank Merlin, was resting propped up in the hospital bed, and thank goodness for that, otherwise Remus was afraid Tonks would have fallen had she been standing, seeing how the strength was practically sapped from her at hearing her father was dead.
"You dare bring this up in front of her now, Mrs. Tonks?" Lupin growled.
Andromeda, however, did not seem to be paying attention to her daughter's husband's words.
She seemed to have eyes only for her daughter, and made a move as if to sidestep and duck under Lupin's arm, which was pressing against the entryway and currently the only barrier between Mrs. Tonks and her daughter, the only thing standing in her way, though she seemed to wilt and deflate as she met Remus's hardened and listless gaze.
Remus watched, momentarily stunned, feeling torn between the desire to immediately go to his wife's side and comfort her, what little solace he could provide, and deal with the brand-new problem that was currently staring him in the face.
His urge won out in the end, and he shot Mrs. Tonks a glowering wither as he stepped out of the entryway and back towards his wife's bedside, perching himself on the edge of the bed and not even waiting to ask for permission, pulling Dora close.
Brick by brick, her walls came tumbling down. Tonks didn't care who saw. She just broke down. The sobs punched through, ripping through her muscles, bones, and guts. She pressed her forehead against the grimy stall door and began to let her heart yank in and out of her chest.
It pulled back in like one of those Muggle yo-yo's. Over and over. In and out. She was hollow. Her life crumbled in her fingertips.
Then, suddenly, Remus were there, patting and rubbing her. He reached into her hollowness.
"Please." Andromeda Tonks spoke up softly from her place, hovering in the entryway of the Hospital Wing, curling the straps of her black bag tightly in her fingers as she held it close to her chest. "I—I know that I cannot make up for the…horrible way that I have treated you, Mr. Lupin. Or for missing your wedding the other night. I—I was too blind to see, that my daughter already has the best. I—I only want what's best for her, a—and I can…see now, that she already has it. T—Ted would have…" She paused, swallowing past the lump in her throat, blinking back briny tears. "Ted would have wanted me to get along with you, Remus, to at least try, and I—I may not approve of this relationship," she began, biting her bottom lip and fixating her gaze on her silently crying daughter, "but…" Her voice trailed off for what felt like several long minutes before she spoke again. "But if you are willing to f—forgive me, th—then I would like to try your advice a—and start over, as a…as a proper family this time, the four of us. If you will have me," Mrs. Tonks whispered in a hushed, breaking whisper.
Andromeda Tonks was a witch who was unused to begging, yet, here she stood, pleading with her son-in-law to allow him entry into the Hospital Wing to see her only child. She tried again.
"I know that I have no right to dream you would want to see me, Dora, but I—I want to be there for you. For my—for my grandchild if you can forgive me."
Andromeda bit her bottom lip and fell silent as Remus, after murmuring something into the shell of her daughter's ear and watched as Nymphadora nodded mutely in response through tear-filled vision, slowly rose from Dora's bedside.
It was then as he stepped in front of Mrs. Tonks, still lingering in the entryway and unsure whether or not she could proceed even further, that she noticed how gaunt and drawn Remus Lupin's face was.
And then it hit her. The full moon was approaching soon.
She flinched as she saw the shadow of the Wolf dart across his scarred, prematurely lined face.
"You are the last person I would think Tonks needs to see right now, given the emotional blow that you have just dealt my wife by telling her Ted is dead," Remus growled, lowering his voice so that Dora could not possibly hear him, and having to lean in so that the tip of his nose was practically touching Andromeda's. "But you are Dora's mother, and I would be a terrible husband to your daughter if I ever permitted you from trying to see her, but make no mistake, Mrs. Tonks. Just because Dora and I are willing to give you a second chance at trying to mend this damaged relationship, does not mean that either one of us will tolerate verbal abuse towards my…problem," he finished lamely, to which Mrs. Tonks offered a nod, though Remus Lupin was not quite finished. He straightened his posture and cleared his throat once or twice.
Mrs. Tonks instinctively stiffened. Here it came. The demand that Andromeda stays away from her granddaughter or grandson, provided it bore its father's wolfish characteristics upon its birth.
She steeled herself, a muscle in her jaw twitching as she waited for the inevitable demand to stay well away from Remus and Dora's child.
And she would do nothing to stop it.
But it did not come.
Lupin straightened his posture and picked absentmindedly at a thread that was coming loose on his threadbare brown jacket, though he lifted his gaze and met hers.
"No matter what our child is or isn't, whether it is like me or not…you will be present at every Quidditch match, birthday, Christmas, summer holiday, or other holidays, for that matter, if you wish to be a part of our child's life, Mrs. Tonks."
Though his words were curt and hard, Andromeda swore she saw him smile.
Perhaps it was just a trick of the dim light overhead, but Mrs. Tonks would swear that she saw her son-in-law's mouth twitch upwards, watching as Andromeda nodded.
"Of course," she murmured. "Now, may I…?" She jerked her head forward over Lupin's shoulder as she strained to try to slip under his arm and go to her daughter.
Remus nodded, stepping out of Mrs. Tonks's way and felt something within him shift as the frantic woman practically moved so fast in her haste to appear at Dora's side that the dark-haired witch was practically a blur, and was at his wife's bedside before a shocked Lupin could move again, though he felt a muscle behind his eyelid twitch in rancor.
The change was coming, his transformation would happen in another half-hour or so, and though he was hit with a pang of regret that he could not stay by his wife's side tonight, he knew that at least, with her mother by her side, she was in good hands.
"I'll watch her. I'll make sure she doesn't do anything rash," Ollie spoke up softly, his low voice causing Lupin to jump and turn towards Dora's best friend, who was leaning against the corridor wall, one leg crossed over the other.
Ollie's arms folded across his chest, seeming to shrink into his woolen black robes for warmth as much as he could, watching in introspective silence while Remus quietly regarded the dark-haired blue-eyed former Slytherin student with a furtive, guilty look in his light brown eyes.
Remus nodded, furrowing his brows in thought as he looked around, not seeing what it was—or who, rather—that he was looking for. "Where did you leave Norah?"
Lupin could not explain it, but the casual way that Ollie Brennan shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes hit him with a sudden sense of unease he couldn't identify.
"She's with Professor Snape. Or was, the last time I left her. I—I heard Tonks's thoughts up here earlier, when she…when she tried to stop you killing that man, and I couldn't just stay down in the dungeons not knowing, Mr. Lupin, I couldn't," Ollie confessed, a light pink blush speckling along his pale cheeks as the man looked away.
Remus's frown deepened, though he felt the worst of his anxiety towards the unexpected arrival of Dora's mother slowly dissipate as he gripped onto Ollie's arm.
The younger man stiffened, wincing at the strong grip of the Wolf within coming out, though Ollie made no move to pull away or avert his gaze from Remus's. "What?"
Ollie frowned, sensing there was something Dora's husband wanted to say.
He breathed out a slightly relieved breath as the immense pressure immediately lifted off of his arm and he pulled it back slightly, wincing as he rubbed it gingerly, thinking Lupin could have easily broken his arm with that beastlike strength of his if he weren't careful.
If Lupin noticed the gesture, Remus paid it no mind.
"I'm grateful you're in our lives, Mr. Brennan," Remus murmured, feeling a drop of fevered rage begin in his bloodstream.
Lupin swallowed nervously and fought it back. He had maybe a half hour at best to get within a safe distance of everyone, retreat into the Forest again as a necessary precaution.
Ollie blinked, surprised at the admission, though he quickly recovered and was quick to hide his initial shock at his best friend's husband's seemingly genuine statement.
"Me too," he murmured, his gaze flitting back to regard Tonks and Mrs. Tonks in the Hospital Wing, noticing the pair of witches conversing in low tones among themselves.
Tonks was still silently crying, mourning the loss of her father, though at least this time, she had her mother to call upon for strength while Remus was away.
He did not look away from Tonks, not even when he heard Lupin's footfalls begin to fade.
"Will you promise me that you'll look after Dora tonight?" Lupin called out.
Ollie nodded, though Remus had already rounded the corner and disappeared before the man could catch his answer that the Legilimens murmured under his breath.
"Always…"
A/N: Ollie, you're making me shed a tear over here! Glad Remus didn't kill Peter. I wanted Tonks to be the one to come to Lupin for a change and help her husband out. So much of the story so far has been Remus going after Tonks to keep her safe or doing something she would regret later, and I thought it was high time that Tonks returned the favor and that Remus needed Tonks to be the strong one now.
Sad they killed off her dad! :(
