Character
(Wednesday Afternoon, August 21st)
"Well," Noah says, "I can tell you have a lot of determination."
"I do?" He hands her the letter opener, and she awkwardly smiles. "Seriously?"
"It's nice to have you back, Beth."
Her smile slips. "Pardon?"
"You might want to think about changing your birthday and phone number," Noah suggests, and she brings a hand to her eyebrows. "Please, tell me your English is better."
"Than it was." She faces him. "I don't understand how you can see me dressed like this and still hire me."
"You look… I don't know a word for that. Um, reasonable." She nods, and he continues, "It doesn't look like you're trying to make fun of anyone, and we have one bathroom in the back. In your interview, you said you wanted to be someone else. With everything I've seen, I can understand why. I'm giving Beth a chance."
She tries to smile. "Thank you."
"Plus, I don't have to train you," he adds.
Beth laughs. "Okay. So, when do I get my knife back?"
Noah frowns. "What's with the knife?"
"I like the knife."
"When you gain ten pounds and look happier," he answers.
Beth shakes her head. "How am I supposed to be happy if I get fat?"
"You don't need to." He enforces, "But if I catch you with a knife, I will be alerting the authorities where King Ben is hiding. Am I clear?" Beth gulps, nodding. "I'm not trying to be mean. I just want what's best for you. If that's being someone else, I want to give you that chance. If that's being sent to the clinic, then I'll do it."
"I understand."
"Look." He repositions his seating. "With your medical problems, I have Ben listed as seasonal/freelance. I'll do the same for Beth. I don't care who shows up or when. You get paid when you're here. Any paid-time-off is earned separately. Ben and Beth are two different people on paper. If someone doesn't show up for a year, the computer deletes them. Understand?"
She nods. "Thank you."
You would think the servants' courters would be clean, but it's the most outdated, dirty place in the castle. The corridors are still candle-lit, the metal furnaces spew dust, and the brick walls are moist with condensation. It smells musty, almost like death, and the stench gets stronger with every step. Beth turns the corner, and her eyes widen. She was sure no one was awake. Mrs. Potts smiles. "Your Majesty?"
Beth awkwardly smiles. "I think you have me confused with someone else."
She tries to walk around her, but Mrs. Potts steps in Beth's way. "Uh, uh. I never forget a face. I know exactly who I'm speaking to."
Beth sighs. "Alright. Before you turn me in, can I at least change first?"
"Don't talk such nonsense. You think I'm about to send you up there so that King Beast can tear you apart?" She shakes her head. "No. I think he can take another week to appreciate how much you mean to him."
She tries to smile. "Thank you."
Mrs. Potts takes a deep breath. "Well, it's really no issue." She grins. "So, who do we have here today? Princess Isabelle? No. Maiden Maria, intelligent servant waiting to rise out from the rubble."
"More like Beth Fleur, retail associate."
Mrs. Potts hums. "Not very glamorous."
Beth lifts a shoulder. "Still better than being King Ben, outcast royal destined to die before the age of twenty-five."
"I'm sure His Majesty could live longer than that," Mrs. Potts reassures. "But, uh, Beth, was it?" She nods. "Are you hungry? I could make something nice and meaty for you."
"That's really not necessary."
"Come on, now," she disagrees. "That dress looks like a curtain on you."
Beth glances over the green, flowing dress. "Evie made it."
"And it's beautiful." She smiles. "You just need to fill it more."
Beth grumbles, feeling the clumps of fabric tied at his waist. "I guess, I have to eat something tonight, anyway." She faces her. "Thank you."
After Beth gets out of the shower, she pulls up the compression shorts and puts the wig back on before uncovering the mirror. It's almost perfect. She moves the hair over her chest, before she runs her hands from her waist down to her hip bones. That dress is never going to fit. She's a stick, and she will always be a stick. No amount of food is going to change that, but the meal is going to be ready any minute. She puts on the new leggings and dress. She's not ready to wear pants, yet. It's completely nerve wrecking. She might have to wear them at work, but she's also been lucky enough not to have any incidents at work. To think of it, she hasn't had any incidents in a while. Her sex drive is completely shot. Chad will be disappointed. She shakes her head and heads for the kitchen.
When she enters the room, the stench hits her again. Mrs. Potts places a large bowl onto the table, and Beth frowns. It's her. "Beth. Come. Sit down."
Beth walks over to the table and takes her seat. She'd forgotten how bad old people smell, but she doesn't recall it being this bad. "Thank you."
She hovers over her. "Well, want to try it?"
Beth uneasily faces her. "It might be easier if I'm not being watched."
"Of course," she understands, and Beth's eyes follow as Mrs. Potts strolls over to the dish counter. She turns on the water and picks up a plate. As tasty as the cheesy ravioli smells, Beth can't get over that other scent. Is it from a long day's work, the living conditions, or is it really just old age? It's not like she can ask. Telling an old person they smell like death would be like telling them they're going to die. Mrs. Potts is too nice to die. Maybe that's naive, but it's also very true. Beth takes a bite of the pasta, and it's the best thing she's had all week. She digs the fork into the bowl, and it scrapes against the bottom. There's barely two bites left. She doesn't even know what it tastes like and it's already nearly gone. There's some problems she can run away from, but this isn't one of them. Maybe they're right to institutionalize King Ben after all.
Mal shakes her head, before she tosses the letter onto the table. "This isn't from Ben."
Beth uneasily smiles. "It's in his handwriting."
"Yeah?" Mal's eyebrows raise. "He can forge his mother's signature too. That doesn't suddenly make him her."
"What's wrong with it?"
"It doesn't sound like him." She faces her. "Tell me what happened while I was taking the longest nap in history, that made Ben change his entire personality."
Beth's eyes shift. "I believe Aurora's hundred-year nap was the longest in history."
"Fuck Aurora." Mal gapes. "She didn't have feel how hungry or cold she was, knowing the whole time she couldn't even move a single finger. No. My mother wasn't that evil, because no matter how much she hated her family, she wasn't going to starve a teenager to death."
Beth folds her hands. "I didn't know it was that bad for you."
Mal tears up. "All I wanted was to feel Ben hold my hand, but he never did. I was alone, and I was going to die alone."
Her eyes lower. "You had Evie."
"Yeah. I did." Mal purses her lips. "But Evie wasn't the one who asked me to stay. Ben did. When you wanted me to stay here, I kind of expected you to stay with me."
Beth's eyes widen. "I keep telling you, I'm not Ben."
"You can think that all you want, but it's not true." She shakes her head. "You can't just start fresh somewhere new and change who you are. Everything you ever done, you still did it. You still hurt me, and you assaulted Chad. Changing your name and dressing like a girl doesn't change that."
Beth whispers, "Evie told you, didn't she?"
"She didn't have to," Mal argues. "You talked about it next to me."
Beth wets her lips. "I didn't actually believe it when they said you could hear us."
Mal stares at her. "Have sex with Chad. I don't care."
"We're not having sex," she disagrees.
"No." Mal frowns. "Feeling him up to get the blood flowing is more your style."
Beth slowly assumes, "Evie told you that, didn't she?"
"Of course, she did. She's my girlfriend." Mal scoots forward. "Oh. And by the way, I don't give you permission to marry her." She seethes. "You really have some nerve asking another girl to marry you, while your current girlfriend is on her deathbed."
Beth defends, "It's not like I was going marry her for the same reasons I would be marrying you."
"Well, you won't be marrying either of us," Mal dismisses. "Because girls can't marry other girls in the Hell-forsaken country." She nods to the door. "So, go. Have fun with Chad. Marry him, give him an heir. Oh, wait. You can't."
Beth stands from her seat. "I really hope you get better soon."
After she walks away, Mal shouts, "And let me know how it goes when your father finds out you're having sex with his son." People stare, and Beth shuts her eyes. No phones allowed. It's difficult to decide whether to be horrified or relieved.
"I really didn't think she'd take it so personally," Evie apologizes. "If I was going to die, I'd still want you two to be happy—even if it had to be without me."
Beth tiredly replies, "She a dragon. We belong to her. We don't belong to each other."
"She just needs to know we still love her, despite looking out for each other."
"She wants Ben," Beth murmurs, "and I don't even know if he's worth having around anymore. He's so emotionally unavailable, depressed, and just keeps hurting the people he cares about most." She faces Evie. "It's like I'm turning into my father, but that isn't me."
She takes Beth's hand. "I know it isn't."
Beth shakes her head. "Why does everyone care about me so much? With everything I've done, they should be afraid of me. Like my parents. But no. I have a dinner with Chad and his parents tomorrow, knowing that I'm not the girl they want for Chad at all." Her eyes lower. "I really don't understand him. He broke up with me for tricking him into giving me his blood, and now he's all in again. Why? I'm not even worth it."
"Beth." Evie moves her other hand onto her forearm, and she faces her. "Something happened that you should know about… something Chad did."
"I get the feeling that it's bad."
"So, um." Evie glances down. "He sort of had sex with Carlos."
"Sort of?" Beth partly smiles. "What was it, a blow job?" Evie's mouth hangs open, and Beth's expression slips. "What is it?"
"Carlos wasn't really looking forward to the sex."
She examines Evie's expression. "You mean…"
"Chad's father did say Carlos has the right to go to the police."
Beth's eyes shift. "And Carlos?"
"He's, um… mad about it." Evie faces her. "But he's okay."
Beth shakes her head. "I can't believe he was that desperate for sex."
"I know you don't really like doing those things." Evie pauses. "I thought you should know this before the dinner."
She meets Evie's bright brown eyes. "You don't think I should go."
Evie hesitates, "I think you need to think about it."
"I hurt him before. If he hurts me, I deserve it."
"You shouldn't have to feel that way."
"No. Mal was right." She whispers, "I might feel more comfortable expressing myself as Beth, but that doesn't change anything I've done. Eventually, I'm going to have to pay for it."
Charming shakes Beth's hand, and he holds it extra long, as though examining it. He's seen right through her. "Charming. Is something wrong?" Ella asks.
"Sorry." He lets go. "I think I got something in my eyes." He's crying. "Excuse me."
Beth watches him leave before facing Ella. "What did I do?"
"Nothing," she reassures. "We're just so pleased to see our son's girlfriend."
"Girlfriend." Beth grins as she turns towards Chad. "Where's my flowers?"
Chad frowns. "Flowers?"
"Well, yeah." She laughs. "Now that we're using labels, I get flowers."
He leans in and whispers, "How was I supposed to know that?"
"Pumpkin." Chad's mother smiles. "Where's her flowers?"
"Okay. No." Chad rolls his hand. "She's just saying most girls would be expecting flowers. She doesn't actually want any." His smile drops as he faces Beth. "Do you?"
Her eyes widen. "Uh, yeah. I kind of do." She folds her arms. "But it doesn't matter. You'd probably just take them out of a vase and say they're for me."
"You're still getting an allowance," Chad's mother comments. "Why didn't you get her anything?"
"Spend it all on candy?" Beth inquires.
Chad lifts a hand. "Okay. You and my friends need to find another word other than candy or pixy stix. I don't eat that shit. People are going to know that's not what you're talking about." He faces his mother. "You have a guard on me twenty-four seven. I promise I'm not using my allowance to buy street drugs."
"I know." She places a hand on his shoulder. "Which is why you and Derek are going to go down the street, and you're going to buy something for your very understanding girlfriend."
"She's just as messed up as I am," Chad claims. "That's the only understanding here."
Beth's mouth gapes. "Excuse me?"
He smiles at her. "And I love you even more for it." He moves in to kiss her cheek, but she keeps her arms crossed. His expression falls. "I'll get you something. Okay?"
"You'd better."
After he leaves, Ella excuses, "I think you're the first girl he's taken seriously."
"I wish he'd show it."
"He will," she reassures. "In the meantime, let me show you around and then we can discuss dinner options."
Beth smiles. "Sounds good."
Beth's expression slips when she sees Ella holding the garlic bulb. "What are you doing with that?"
"The mashed potatoes," she answers. "It's going to need sour cream, chives, and garlic."
"Can we just hold off on the garlic?" Beth requests. "I don't think it will need it."
"It will be better with it," Ella opinionates.
"How are you two doing?" Charming asks, as he enters the kitchen.
"I'm trying to get out of eating garlic," Beth confesses.
Charming looks at Ella. "If she's allergic to garlic, don't put garlic in it."
Ella turns to Beth. "Are you allergic to garlic?"
"It just burns my mouth and messes with my throat," she diminishes. "I don't like it."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Garlic's in everything," she murmurs. "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it."
"We want you to be comfortable here," Charming inputs. "For that to happen, you need to be honest about these things."
Beth nods. "I understand."
"You just have to picture the life you want," Charming encourages. "You picture it, you reach for it, and you never let go."
"After my first paycheck." Beth pulls herself together. "I'm moving out of my parents' place. I'm looking into inquiries for a roommate."
"You don't have another family member or anyone you could move in with?"
Beth falters. "I want to make a new life for myself. I don't want anyone to tell me I can't change my life, just because they assume they know me."
"You don't think they would let you change," he interprets.
"Not just that." She pauses. "My life's been planned out for me. I felt trapped in it. My only choice was to leave… in whatever way I could."
"Well, I'm glad this is the way you chose to leave." Beth looks at him, and he mentions, "King Ben. He thought his only way out was to kill himself." Charming stares out at the city. "He hasn't turned up, so he's still out there somewhere. But last time he ran away, he called me. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye this time."
Beth glances down. "I'm sure he just didn't want to get tracked down. You seem a lot better than his parents. If he could talk to you, I'm sure he would."
Charming quiets, "I wish he just trusted me. I hate that he feels like he can't be helped… I know he wouldn't let me comfort him, but I wish he'd have let me be there for him." Beth's unable to find any words, and Charming tries to smile. "Your steak's going to get cold. Would you like to come back inside?"
"Yes," Beth evenly expresses. "That would be great."
When they return to the table Ella apologizes, "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have asked you such a personal question the first time meeting you."
"It's fine." Beth smiles at Chad. "I'll feel a lot better when I see my flowers."
"Oh. Right." Chad picks up the red bag and hands it to her. "Here."
Beth raises an eyebrow. "I really hope the flowers survived in here." She opens the shiny bag, and her expression slips. She takes a small, red rose out of the bag. "Why does this look like a chocolate flower?"
"Well, I didn't know what kind of flowers you wanted." He tries to smile. "And I just figured everyone likes chocolate, so…"
She hands the bag to him. "You can have them, then."
He half laughs. "I'm not eating those."
"But it's okay if I do?"
He gestures to the steak. "Well, I wouldn't eat that either."
Beth rests her head in her hand. "You should know me better than this." She takes a deep breath before meeting his bluish grey eyes. "You know, I never expected to settle down with a guy, but when I agreed to date you, I thought I'd at least get some frickin' flowers out of it." Chad touches her shoulder, and she raises a hand. "Don't."
Beth stands from her seat, heads for the hall, and Chad's mother says, "A little emotional, isn't she?"
"Well, she isn't eating," Chad's father frustrates. "If she ate the steak, she'd be fine." He checks a piece with his knuckle. "And it's cold now."
"I could heat it up," she suggests.
He shakes his head. "She wanted it rare."
Chad stands from his seat, and he follows Beth's steps. He spots her, strides down the hall, and cautiously places a hand on her shoulder. She turns around, and he asks, "What's going on with you?"
"I never get flowers." Beth whispers, "Mal gives flowers to Evie, but she expects them from me. I don't get any."
"Most guys wouldn't want flowers," Chad points out.
"Yeah, well." She huffs. "Most guys don't reintroduce themselves as a girl to the man who raised them and then expect him to let her date his son."
Chad examines her eyes. "You lost a contact. We have to cut tonight short." She closes her eyes, and he wipes the tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry. I thought you were just acting. I didn't think you actually wanted real flowers." Beth sniffles. "I'll make it up to you next time."
She nods, and his father calls out, "Chad." He turns around, and his father walks towards them. Beth keeps her head lowered. "Is she okay?"
"Uh." Chad glances between them. "No." He faces him. "I think the excitement got to her. I'd like to get her some fresh air, walk her back to the train station?"
He nods. "Meet Bernard at the door." He eyes past him. "Beth. It was nice meeting you."
She whispers, "You too."
"We have ten minutes," Chad says, before he guides Beth over to the bench. She sits next to him, and he turns towards her. "Ben. Are you okay?"
She falters. "Beth."
He glances around. "No one's going to hear."
"I don't care," she asserts. "I need a little consistency. I'm trying to make a better life for myself. You don't get to call me Ben just because you know who I was before."
"Okay," Chad slowly says. "But Ben's not just who you were. It's who you are as a person. Everything you accomplished and struggled with—everything that made you who are are—was done as Ben. To me, you're still you—even dressed like this."
Beth frowns. "Ben was a character I played for my parents, royal society, and for the people of Auradon." She meets his eyes. "Whoever I am, it's not him. If you can't understand that, then you don't need to be dating me."
"Whoa." Chad lifts a hand. "What are you saying? That you plan on living the rest of your life like this?"
"What did you think was going to happen?" Beth awkwardly smiles, "That the order to institutional King Ben would blow over, and the counsel would unanimously agree to repeal the homosexuality law so that you could live happily ever after?"
Chad's eyebrows raise. "You can't pretend to be Beth forever. You're not that good of an actor. You won't be able to pull it off."
She cautiously comments, "If I was able to play the role of King Ben, I'm pretty sure I can play the role of Beth Fleur."
"There's a difference between pretending to be okay with being in charge and pretending to be a girl. You can learn how to be king. You can't learn how to be a girl."
The screeching sound breaks the silence, and Beth stands from her seat. "Train's here."
When she turns away, Chad takes her hand, she spins back around, and he kisses her. His breath is shaky, and his eyes are wide. "I really love that you're doing this for me. But it's not going to last. You have to see that."
"I swear," Beth hopelessly states, "the next time I have to hear you talk about Ben while we're on a date, I'm dumping you."
"So, what?" Chad questions, "Am I just supposed to forget everything we've been through together?"
"I'm expressing myself more now than I ever did as Ben," she calmly says. "You need to consider whether you really love me or the person I was pretending to be." The train screams, and Beth examines Chad's confusion. "I have to go."
