A/N: Wow, it's been a REALLY long time guys. I'm really sorry about that. I just haven't had any mojo to write and things have been pretty crazy in this COVID world that we're living in. Anyway, here's the next chapter. I'm going to try really hard to finish this fanfiction in the next couple of weeks so that I can put 100% of my focus onto my original novel for NaNoWriMo next month.
Mother
The tension in the operating room is thick. Lena is lying helplessly on her back in a white hospital gown. The anesthesiologist had numbed her from the waist down with an epidural - but fear and anxiety numbed the rest of her. Stef's hand clenches Lena's, both their knuckles turning white, as they wait for Dr. Hilcroft to begin the C-section. Neither woman dares to look over the sterile drape that separates them from Lena's exposed and pregnant belly.
The silence in the operating room is filled with suspense. The only sound is that of the beeping heart monitors - one for Lena and one for the baby still inside her. Stef's forehead is pressed against the side of Lena's pale face. She would never say it out loud but she was glad that Lena had seen reason and consented to have the baby delivered. The blonde cop knows that there is a very good chance their youngest daughter will not survive. Her life could be as short as a few minutes - or they could be forced to watch her suffer in the NICU for months before she passes. Stef isn't sure which option would be least painful for Lena.
Tears roll down Lena's pale cheeks as Dr. Hilcroft begins the surgery - preparing to remove her baby from the safety of her womb. Even Dr. Hilcroft is somber, having gone through such a situation too many times in her years of medical practice. She knows that Stef and Lena will soon be forced to endure a difficult journey filled with so much potential heart break.
The suspense in the room comes to a crescendo as Dr. Hilcroft pulls the tiny, twenty-four week baby from Lena's uterus. The baby girl doesn't make any sound as the neonatologist takes her from Dr. Hilcroft and begins working on her. Both Stef and Lena's eyes follow every movement the neonatologist makes.
"What's wrong?" Stef finally calls out, finally breaking the tense silence in the operating room. "What's wrong with her?"
"She isn't breathing. We're going to have to intubate her." The neonatologist informs the two mothers, barely glancing in their direction.
"Oh god." Lena cries, turning her head away as the neonatologist inserts a tube down their barely two-minutes old daughter's throat.
Stef startles as monitors begin to beep loudly around her. Shooting a glance over to Dr. Hilcroft tells the blonde that something isn't right. The usually calm and collected Dr. Hilcroft has a look of fear in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Stef asks again, this time referring to her wife who's abdomen is still open on the operating table. "Vivian, what's wrong?" Stef repeats, this time using the doctor's first name to get her attention.
"I'm having trouble controlling some bleeding." Dr. Hilcroft responds, trying to keep her patient and her patient's wife calm. "Squeeze in two units of blood - STAT!." Dr. Hilcroft orders the nurses in the operating room. Stef moves her attention to her wife, who has become even paler than she was moments ago. Her breathing is rapid and her eyelids are struggling to stay open.
"Stay with me, baby. Stay with me." Stef tells Lena, taking her pale face into her hands. "You're going to be okay. Just stay with me."
"The baby." Lena slurs out.
"She's fine. The doctors are working on her. They're taking her to the NICU" Stef assures her wife as their newborn daughter is wheeled out of the operating room.
"Go with the baby." Lena tells Stef.
"I'm not going anywhere." Stef replies, tears stinging the back of her eyes.
"She needs you." Lena says.
"You need me." Stef insists.
"Please, Stef, go with the baby. I don't want her to die alone. Please." Lena begs, more tears falling from her eyes. Stef's heart breaks at her wife's words, tears falling from her own eyes.
"Okay. Okay. I'll go with her. I love you so much." Stef says, pressing a tender kiss to her wife's lips before hurrying after the NICU team.
Stef is sitting in the NICU, in a rocking chair beside her newborn daughter who is inside a big plastic incubator, intubated, hooked up to all kinds of other tubes and monitors. Her little eyes are covered by a mask and her hands and feet are covered by tiny mittens and booties. According to the NICU nurse, she weighed one pound and three ounces. Stef had never seen a baby so tiny in her entire life.
Stef wipes more tears from her eyes as she watches her tiny daughter's chest rise and fall in sync with the whirring of the ventilator. Looking around the NICU, she sees a dozen other parents standing or sitting near similar incubators. Most of them were either crying or praying - or both. The blonde wonders how long they have been here, watching their children struggle to survive. She wonders how many parents aren't here any longer because their children didn't make it. Stef wonders which type of parent she and Lena will end up being.
Thinking of Lena makes Stef's heart contract. When she had reluctantly left Lena in the operating room, she had been losing a lot of blood as Dr. Hilcroft was trying to close her up after her C-section. Lena had been so pale and so tired. Stef wasn't sure if her wife was okay. Was she out of surgery? How much blood had she lost? Was she still alive?
"Everything is going to be okay." A NICU nurse tells Stef, resting a hand on her shoulder as a strangle sob escapes from her chest.
"My wife." Stef chokes out, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know if she's okay. She made me come with the baby. She didn't want the baby to be alone. But now she's alone."
"Okay, it's okay." The nurse tries to reassure the hysterical blonde. "What's your wife's name? I can try and find out how she's doing."
"Her name is Lena. Lena Adams Foster." Stef answers, wiping her cheeks.
"And what's your name?" The nurse asks with a kind smile.
"Stef." Stef replies.
"Everything is going to be okay, Stef." The nurse repeats, before disappearing to presumably find out some information about how Lena was doing.
Looking around the NICU once again, Stef realizes that she and Lena are going to be leaning heavily on the nurses working here if their daughter survives the day. There was so much that they didn't know about caring for such a premature baby. There was so much that they didn't know about what the next few days, weeks, months, or even years held for them.
