CHAPTER NINETY-SIX

Tonks glanced down at the book she had taken earlier from Grimmauld Place with a strange sense of unease brooding within the confines of her chest.

The very same egregiously large compendium of Shakespeare's works that Sirius had let her borrow the very first night she met her cousin and soon-to-be godfather of their child in another few days.

At that thought, she smiled and felt her hand drift to her swollen stomach.

It might have seemed a little illogical to select a book that she had read before, as opposed to countless other titles that rested within the shelves of the study, but perhaps there was something within her heart that wanted something familiar, something that reminded her of home. Or at least, a time when her father was still alive. A happier time.

At first, Tonks had taken the book out of pure interest, wanting to have Remus read it to her during the witching hours when all else were asleep soundly in their beds and the two were awake, though now she felt as though she had taken it out of a sense of duty to him.

Thus, now she found herself in a bit of a dilemma, to keep this book safe from Ollie, who'd been coming around, spending increasing amounts of time with her since Norah Jameson's disappearance.

Ollie, in his emotionally fragile state of mind following the devastating blow dealt to him by the cutting wound of Norah abandoning them without so much as a word had hurt him, pouring salt on the tender wound of an already broken heart, still not fully mended from years of torture and abuse at Crouch's cruel hand.

And in Tonks's mind, she did not want him getting his hands on this book, reading some of the tragedies and finding a way to hurt himself, just to numb the pain of her leaving.

Tonks blinked, not wanting to think of the blonde She-Wolf or of her friend right now.

Something within her harbored a twinge of caution towards Ollie, and Tonks hated this feeling, knowing full well that her fear and trepidation towards Ollie came from all of the horrible stories she had been told about Crouch.

The things he would do to him, torturing him to the point where nothing existed but a broken shell of a man who could not even bear to go by his former name anymore, and she let herself sigh in an unrestrained fashion as she climbed the stairs to the second floor of her and Remus's cottage and gingerly closed the door behind her.

Tonks did not know what Ollie would do to himself if he couldn't find Norah. She feared he'd try to hurt himself.

Though for now, she thought, as she rested her hand on the swell of her swollen stomach, she did not want to think of Ollie or Norah. All she wanted was Remus.

Just him, she thought, a surge of affection in her veins.

She looked to the left and the right. Tonks paused for a moment, lingering near the door, finding Remus to be as still and unmoved in his chair, and if he had not flitted his gaze upward to meet hers, she'd have thought her husband carved onto that chair like a statue of the finest marble.

Tonks found him there, seated against the wall of the simple bedroom, a chair pushed back against the wall as far as it possibly could, a glass of wine in his hands.

As usual. Tonks bit the inside wall of her cheek and stifled a smile.

"Here you are, I thought maybe you had left, Rem. I—I found it," she murmured, holding out the leather-bound copy of the book of William Shakespeare.

He took it wordlessly, a rather stupefied expression on his handsome but scarred face, though Tonks did not give him a chance to speak as she closed off what little gap of space remained between the two of them and flippantly pressed her lips against his.

She broke apart first, each other just staring at the other for a few minutes in silence. "You—you should not have, Tonks," he murmured, though his tone suggested to Tonks that he disapproved what she had done in her heavily pregnant state, knowing full well she'd climbed the ladders in Sirius's parents' library to get it against his commands she not lift anything heavier than a glass of milk over the last nine months, otherwise as he glanced down with an apprehensive look in his eyes at the book which now rested on the small side table in front of him. "But why did you?" The question tumbled unchecked from his lips before Remus could stop himself, causing Tonks to blink owlishly at her husband in surprise and she bit her lip.

"Because I wanted to do something nice for you, Rem," she purred, "that's why," she whispered, lowing her voice and doing something that she had seen depicted several times in other books, romantic manuscripts of medieval knights of old and their lovers. "After all that you have done for me, it is the least that I can do for you."

She gathered the skirt of her long black maternity maxi dress, which she had taken to wearing long dresses as her pregnancy advanced over the last nine months, finding with her swollen stomach, they were the only things she was comfortable in, and knelt down in front of his chair, resting her arms over his knees, where Tonks leaned her chin and fluttered her eyelashes in a playful manner, catching Remus's incredulous gaze in hers and held him captive there.

Had this perhaps been any other situation with any other man, her behavior would have been considered highly inappropriate, given how bloody pregnant and huge she was.

But she wanted Remus just to see how serious she really was about him.

"You don't like it?" Tonks murmured lowly, unable to keep the note of antagonizing hurt from creeping its way at a rapidly alarming pace into her tone.

His light brown eyes were wide and bright, despite the dark circles underneath, and Tonks reached out with her left hand to allow the pads of her fingertips to ghost along the edges of his lips, tracing the outline of his mouth and feeling his warmth.

"N—no, that's not what I intended, I just did not expect you to…" Remus sighed and caught her hand in mid-air as she pulled her hand move and moved to turn away, bringing her knuckles to his lips for a kiss. "Thank you, Dora. This book shall be cherished for as long as both of us are alive. I know you used to read this with Ted when your father was still alive, sweetheart. I won't let anything happen to this last copy, I promise," he murmured, at last, his gaze briefly flitting to the book before darting back again to her.

Tonks nodded, turning her head and resting her cheek on her arm, allowing the soft fabric of her dress to comfort her frayed nerves over thoughts of what going into labor would be like.

They still had no way of knowing for sure if their baby would be born with wolfish characteristics or not like its father, though she could only hope this wasn't going to be the case, her eyelids fluttering closed to enjoy the tranquility between the two of them, as husband and wife.

Moments of peace like this were hard for her and Remus to come by, though she took them where they could.

"Have you heard from Ollie? Is he still looking for her?" Lupin asked, breaking the silence, and pulling Tonks out of her thoughts. "Will he come tomorrow?"

Tonks flinched, regarding her husband with a furtive, guilty look on her face. Had she really been that obvious?!? She was scared for him.

Tomorrow was supposed to be her and Lupin's baby shower. Mrs. Weasley insisted, though a party was honestly the last thing that Tonks felt like attending.

She watched, her gray orbs glistening in intrigue as Remus's expression shifted from that of a peaceful sereneness to one of minor amusement and mischievousness.

"He should be here tomorrow. I hope," Remus murmured, his inquisitive gaze resting and lingering on Tonks, his brows furrowed in a frown as he watched his pregnant wife furrow her brows at thoughts of her friend. "You truly think Norah will…"

But his voice trailed off and he did not finish his thought.

Tonks nodded mutely. "She will. She just needs…." She paused to allow her mind a moment to consider the right words to say. "A little…encouragement. I begged her in my last letter to come. At least I know she opened it."

This much was true. In the last nine months that Ollie had attempted to track down Jameson, Tonks had helped by sending letters to her new home address, though all except for the last had been returned to her. Untouched and the wax seal unbroken.

Remus nodded, though he offered up no verbal quip of any kind, which Tonks found rather strange, and Tonks heard her voice trail off, unsure of how to phrase exactly what was on her mind, how she had seen the way that Ollie looked, that faraway glint in his eyes whenever someone brought up the young blonde werewolf in front of him.

Jameson's disappearance had wounded Brennan more than he cared to admit, though Tonks could see it. He was cut deeply, and Tonks hoped Norah would show her face tomorrow at their baby shower and delayed wedding reception.

She hoped. Frowning, Tonks raised her head just in time to see Remus avert his gaze from her, a telling color in his cheeks and he hung his head and allowed that one stubborn lock of light coarse hair to fall in front of his eyes, effectively shielding her from his view.

"What's wrong?" she asked, hating hearing the urgency in her voice as her eyebrows knitted together in quandary and she almost bit her tongue off in hesitation.

Tonks rose slightly from her kneeling position to feel his forehead.

"Are you sick?" she asked, pulling back slightly in an effort to study her husband's face better.

Remus shook his head, still refusing to meet his wife's gaze. "I thought…maybe that you would have…left when we…when we married, Tonks. And I thought…well. Just look at me, a werewolf, a monster. This is what I am, Dora, there is no changing this about me, as much as I might wish to be normal. To be different," he growled, gesturing to himself. "That I would not blame you if you had."

Tonks blinked and looked up at Remus, a pang of sadness cutting right through her heart, that damned stubborn corded muscle within the confines of her chest that tended to cause her heart to flutter any time she looked into Remus Lupin's eyes.

Their marriage was a strange union, for sure. Was Remus still so unsure of her feelings for him, after now being married for almost a full nine months, not quite a year yet?

She let out a sigh as a series of memories from just a few hours ago underneath the old shaded oak tree in the woods behind their house following a late afternoon walk to allow Tonks to stretch her legs, flitted through her mind, when the moonlight and darkness had courted one another, and in her husband's arms, the time had whittled away to nothing.

Her skin heated with memories of being held, being touched, his trail of kisses that left sparks in his wake as he pressed his lips against the column of her throat, her collarbone, anywhere he could reach as he went lower….and lower…and lower still…

Tonks did not remember much of it, though one thing that stuck with her was the warmth of Remus's lips as they found hers in the darkness of the woods at night.

She blinked as Remus had opened his mouth to speak, pausing to collect his thoughts. His brows furrowed together for a moment in contemplative concentration.

Though as he lifted his chin and his gaze met hers, his hardened exterior softened and seemed to crack under the slightly scrutinizing and admonishing gaze of his wife's. "I just…never thought that what you and I have would happen to me…"

His hands found purchase in Tonks's wavy tresses as she rested her head in his lap, not getting up from her position on the floor, though kneeling in this manner for an extended amount of time was murder on her kneecaps, especially while nine months pregnant, she refused to budge at all.

Tonks's frown deepened as her mind processed her husband's words to her. Her heart ached and her stomach flipped as she thought about Remus's statement.

She supposed she ought not to be surprised by this sentiment.

His initial disbelief that she could genuinely love him due to his status as a werewolf should have been telling enough.

However, knowing that such self-deprecating thoughts were spurred on by a lifetime of scorn and hateful words regarding his lycanthropic condition from members of their own community instilled within Tonks a fierce sense of protectiveness for her husband.

She closed her eyes and ground her teeth as she willed the protective temper that surged within her bloodstream to cool.

Tonks rose slightly from her position on the floor and rested her chin on his shoulder and gave his right forearm a light squeeze.

"You hold too little of an opinion of yourself, Rem," she murmured, raking her fingers through his hair in the manner that she knew Remus liked, and she was rewarded for her efforts as a tremor of pleasure wafted its way down her spine.

The more emotional side of her mind did not want to lose the moment as she felt herself lean forward for another kiss, more passionate.

Though Tonks was a good few heads shorter than Remus, it did not take much effort for the man to push against Tonks's chest so that she was propelled backward away from his chair, and not having anticipated that would be the move her husband would make, she let out a tiny squeak and stumbled against the mattress of their bed.

Which seemed to be her husband's intent. Tonks rolled slightly with the pressure on her left shoulder as Remus moved himself up the bed to lay over his wife, his forearm braced on the bed, his fingers drifting somewhat lazily through Tonks's tresses.

There were many things that Tonks loved about her husband, how Remus abandoned all control whenever he took her for himself, how his handsome face was a mirror of his passions, his pleasures, and his emotions.

He felt no need to hide his feelings whenever it was just the two of them together. Remus tended to react to her featherlight touches with a strange fierceness that made Tonks feel a little overwhelmed.

Tonks loved how Remus's voice deepened, hearing the moans that came from deep within his throat. She loved how that even just for a short while, she could make him forget that he was a werewolf…

Remus opened Tonks's mouth with a gentle pressing of his tongue, warm and a little groan rose out of him. He was eager for another round, it seemed. Tonks loved how her name tumbled from Remus's lips, how she could make him love his own body and its reactions to her wandering hands as she reached up and helped him undo his shirt.

She loved the way he writhed underneath her whenever she was on top, the way he pressed into her, feeling the warmth she gave off, onto her soft, sensitive skin, living for the moment, caught in between their passions and the moment that she knew neither one of them wanted to end.

Remus was never stingy with his love.

He shifted his weight carefully, his free hand trailing down Tonks's inner thighs as he hiked up the skirts of her maxi dress, not even bothering to remove it.

"D—do you have time enough for this right now?" Tonks managed to gasp out in a meek voice, as she swore, she had heard footsteps outside approaching in their house.

No doubt Kingsley or Arthur come to take Lupin away for night watch while on guard duty for the Order.

Remus offered a light smile at his wife and leaned his head down to kiss Tonks's lips again.

"Always," he murmured, whispering it as his tongue forced her mouth open wider, effectively deepening their kiss, as his hand came up to cup her cheek. "Are you all right? I—I don't want to hurt you or the baby, we can…we don't have to, love," Remus asked in a low voice, his soft inquiry lingering in the shell of Tonks's ear and sent his wife smiling as he shifted so that he rested on top of her.

"Y—yes," Tonks stammered, though it was a miracle she could speak at all. "Keep…keep going…d—don't stop," she begged, biting down on her bottom lip.

Tonks loved to feel Remus inside of her, his surprisingly strong fingers wrapped around her waist, his weight pressing her down, effectively rendering her immobile.

She knew that her husband loved to watch her relinquish her control, surrendering wholly to his whims and completely at his mercy. She knew Lupin loved to reduce her to a trembling mess of pleasure, to make her lose any coherent thought.

To render her otherwise speechless whenever they laid together. Remus was the only person in Tonks's life that she would ever allow to see her in such a vulnerable state. She loved it and Remus knew this and took every advantage of this fact.

One of the things Tonks had always been grateful for was that Remus never pushed her, never forced her to do anything that she was not comfortable with, had never hurt her or laid a finger against her in anger, and was always careful to be gentle.

The questions asking after her well-being were always simple and clear, and Remus made it easy to fall in love. His gentleness. How much he understood Tonks.

They really were alike the two of them. They were two of a kind in their own way, and Tonks's heart had firmly planted itself within Remus's heart and she'd never uproot it again if she could help it, no matter what came their way in the future. No matter what.

Tonks trembled and a shudder went down her spine as her husband quickened his pace, each movement feeling like it would fill her to the brink, a little more so than the last.

Tonks grinned into their kiss as his lips met hers with a passionate fever, letting out a half-muffled cry as she buried her head in the crook of Remus's shoulder.

Though he quickly relaxed, and Tonks's name left her husband's lips like a raptured sigh, and his hands moved up to grip onto Tonks's waist almost painfully tight.

He finished quickly, not wanting to hurt her, and Tonks cherished and savored this moment, how Tonks felt owned and anchored, practically pinned to their bed.

Tonks grimaced as she felt a strange pressure in her abdomen, though as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

She wanted the child within her to come out, and soon. She would not admit it, but her pregnancy was utterly exhausting her.

Tonks loved how unselfishly Remus gave all of himself to her without her ever having to ask for it. How ready and willing he was to share whatever she needed.

As he finished, nestling himself within the confines of Tonks's gentle embrace as he pulled her close to him on their bed, Tonks could not help but to wonder if Remus understood just how truly remarkable, she found her husband to be.

How perfect and un-assuming the man was. How gentle he was. How much he cared. Tonks had never shared in or confided to Remus her concerns about feeling certain that she would live in this world and die without knowing what it meant to love.

How she had not believed in love until she had met him that night in the forest. When he had saved her from Barty Crouch Jr.

She made it a clear point never to talk about her emotions when it came to that, how impossible the idea of a lover like Remus filling her needs had seemed to her at the time when they had first married all those months ago.

But maybe…maybe she should try.

Did she not owe him that much, at least? As the man's wife and soon-to-be mother of their daughter or son in another couple of days, Tonks shuddered as Remus's arms wrapped around her middle in a bear hug, and with a shift in her weight, she nestled against the mattress and pillows, lowering herself slightly so she could look into her husband's eyes, a brimming light brown, as bright as the boughs of the trees in the forest behind their home and brimming with love.

For her. "You are all right, love?" Her husband whispered into the shell of her ear, and Tonks felt the edges of her lips curl upwards, her genuine smile returning again, her eyes crinkling as she nestled her chin against Remus's surprisingly firm chest, snuggling up against him.

"Yes. Thank you," Tonks whispered to Remus by way of response to his query. Remus laughed and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Anytime, Dora. I hope you know that I love you."

He was too generous with her, Tonks believed, feeling like she might weep. Tonks knew that she was selfish, that she craved his touch, and wanted Remus for herself.

Just him, she thought. Though she thought they balanced each other out. His selflessness with her selfishness. A perfect complement of the other, really, wasn't it?

Remus rested on the edge of their bed for a moment, smiling softly at her before he reached out a firm hand and pushed back a lock of Tonks's hair out of her eyes.

"I love you, Tonks. I hope that you don't forget because if you do, I'll just have to remind you," he said lowly, his voice husky and heavy with desire, almost so easy for the man it came as natural to her husband as breathing, and Tonks's heart lurched.

"And I you," she murmured, closing her eyes and allowing herself to succumb to sleep, thinking that as she heard Remus whisper sweet nothings, words of affirmation into the shell of her ear, that her world, for once, felt extraordinarily right and safe.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.