A/n: I only own Ellie, Grant, Beckie, Kasie, and Sarah; all other characters that you recognize are property of Marvel.
a/n2: We have a date! March 19, 2021! I don't think FatWs will change my story timeline too much. But we will see. Right now I have enough chapters written to take us past the release date but as we know, who knows if things may change. This story will go until EndGame. I have yet to decide whether to end it there or go for a short time after that.
Also, oh my goodness, we have made it to chapter 100! Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and has read this through the whole story! 241 reviews, 210 followers, and 159 favorites… ya'll are amazing!
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
~Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
*~*~* February 1, 2019- Irvington, New York *~*~*
Ellie felt as if her eyes had just shut for the night, as one of the girls started to cry. She groaned as she laid in bed for a moment hoping that she, Beckie, would settle down on her own. After another minute of crying, Ellie forced herself up out of bed. Walking over to the bassinets, she picked Beckie up.
"Honey, what is wrong? Mommy is tired," Ellie said as she rubbed her back as she rocked her.
Beckie's cries quieted as soon as she was in her mother's arms as Ellie started walking the floor with her.
Ellie looked over at the clock, "Shit Beck, you were awake just an hour ago, honey. What do you need from Mommy?"
Ellie looked down into Kasie's bassinet to see her hands up next to her little ears, "I know honey," Ellie sighed as she patted Beckie's back as she bounced her, "What am I doing wrong?" Ellie asked looking up at the ceiling as a tear fell down her face as the intense feeling that she was failing overtook her.
Natasha looked up from her coffee as she heard footsteps. Ellie shuffled into the kitchen, in both her hands a bassinet while Grant toddled in front of her.
Natasha swallowed as she took in Ellie's messy hair and the deep blue circles under her eyes, "Rough night?" Natasha asked as Grant walked over to his toys.
Ellie put the bassinets in their frames then walked over to the coffee makers.
"Shit, had to have been if you are making coffee," Natasha said as she watched Ellie pour coffee into a cup then dump milk and sugar into it, "Anything I can do?"
Ellie took a big drink and closed her eyes savoring the taste that used to be so familiar to her in the mornings, not because she drank it, but the taste that transferred to her mouth from Bucky's kisses.
Ellie cleared her throat, "Find a way to help Beckie sleep longer than…" Ellie trailed off as Beckie started crying again and Ellie started sobbing as she sunk to the floor, "Every hour! Every hour! Three straight nights now… I can't do this anymore."
Natasha walked over and picked Beckie up, "What's wrong kiddo?"
Ellie put her head back against the island, "Her mother has failed as a mother. I was crazy to think that I could do this on my own."
"Quit that," Natasha told her as she rocked Beckie, "FRIDAY, can you scan Beckie? Does she have a fever?"
"No Agent Romanoff, but in my opinion with the medical knowledge that I have found, Miss Beckie has colic," FRIDAY informed her.
Ellie looked up, "Colic?"
"There is no definition of colic on the Stark medical servers, it just states that colic is where a baby cries louder, more intense and higher pitched than normal crying, it is sometimes like screaming. Colicky babies also seem inconsolable; as well they tend to cry for at least three hours total per day."
"Well shit," Ellie said as she dried her tears, "What causes it?"
"According to the servers, the cause is unknown. There is no distinct cause. Theories say it could be overstimulated senses as they are more sensitive. They release stress when they cry. Another theory is that it can be gas in the intestines causing pain," FRIDAY informed her.
"She is so gassy, she spits up a lot too," Ellie sighed, "Thank God there is an answer. How do you treat it FRIDAY?"
"Anti-gas drops, probiotics are two remedies. Other mentions include swaddling, soothing music, a pacifier. One site even suggests having the baby sit in the room when you take a shower for the steam to open up the airways more," FRIDAY told her.
Ellie laid her head back on the cabinets, "Shit I might take a longer than five-minute shower now."
"Ellie," Natasha said as she walked over to her and saw the woman she had come to call a sister falling apart in front of her eyes, "If you need help, all you have to do is ask."
Ellie shook her head, "I got myself in the mess… I have to handle it," Ellie told her with a yawn.
Natasha knelt next to her, "Go, I'll watch the kids. Take a bath or shower or hell… go get in the pool," Natasha told her.
Ellie smiled, "Shit the pool. That sounds amazing."
"See, go do something for yourself," Natasha told her, "I got this. There are bottles in the fridge if the girls get hungry. Go."
Ellie stood up as Natasha helped her up, "Thank you, Nat."
Unlocking the door to the pool, Ellie walked out onto the tiled floor and shivered at the temperature change.
"FRIDAY what is the temperature in this room?" Ellie asked
"64* ma'am, would you like me to turn it up? The temperature inside the pool is 72*"
"Set the water temperature to 80* and room temperature to 72* please," Ellie stated.
"Yes, Miss Ellie."
Ellie sat down at the edge of the pool and dipped her feet into it, "Yep still a little too cold."
"I turned the water heaters on and the temperature should be closer to suitable in the next five minutes."
"Thank you FRIDAY," Ellie said as she removed her shirt to just be in her sports bra.
She slowly went down step by step until she was chest-deep in the water. Kicking off she made slow laps in the pool, just as she used to do at the lake in Wakanda. The weightlessness and pressure of the water all over her body were like a welcoming hug. After a few minutes of floating, Ellie kicked off the wall of the pool and dove down into the water. Once she touched the deepest portion of the bottom, she opened her eyes and pretended for a moment that she was in the water in Wakanda. Suddenly it was as if a shadow of a person appeared at the surface. She floated back up to the surface and when she emerged, no one was there.
Wiping the water from her eyes, she frowned as she pulled herself out of the pool, her sleep shorts sticking to her body, and opened the locked door.
"FRIDAY, was there anyone just here?" Ellie asked.
"No Miss Ellie, you have been the only one here at the pool since yesterday morning when Captain Rogers swam his morning laps," FRIDAY replied.
Ellie shook her head, "Thanks."
Ellie walked back over to the edge and took a breath then jumped in.
She swam back down to the bottom to see if she could see the shadow again and couldn't. Slowly kicking her feet, she stayed just above the bottom of the pool when she saw it again. The shadow of a person. Staying below the surface, she briefly blinked and when she opened her eyes again, there was no longer a shadow. Instead next to her appeared to be Bucky. A translucent Bucky floated next to her. Ellie gave a startled gasp and inhaled water. Rising to the surface, she coughed water out of her lungs and gasped in the air as she looked around her then into the water behind her.
When her lungs finally felt normal again, she inhaled as deep as she could then went back under. Again, she hung just above the bottom of the pool and the shadow turned to the shape of Bucky. She stared at it for a moment before it smiled at her. Ellie reached for it before her hand went through it.
The burning in her lungs told her that she needed to surface quickly, "Be right back," She said into the water as she kicked up to the surface then gasped in air. After a few quick deep breaths, she went back down, to be met with his face again.
She just stared at him as he smiled down at her.
'I wish I could hear your voice,' Ellie thought as she let out a small amount of air to see if she could stay under longer.
Just as she felt as if her lungs could hold out no longer and Bucky's image started to frown, a shadow broke through the water and grabbed her pulling her to the surface.
Ellie gasped on all fours as she coughed the water she had inhaled as she was grabbed.
"Shit Ellie, are you okay?" Steve asked looking at her as she coughed.
"What the hell was that?" Ellie asked gasping as she punched him sending him onto his back, soaked, and fully clothed onto the pool's deck surface.
"I thought you were drowning! You were under there for two minutes then the air bubbles stopped," Steve yelled.
"Fuck Steve!" Ellie yelled as jumped back in, she went back under and searched for Bucky not to see him again.
"Damn you!" Ellie cried as she started sobbing as she surfaced, "He was just there."
"Who?" Steve asked confused.
"Bucky… I just saw him," Ellie told him as she laid her head on the side of the pool sobbing, "I can't do this Steve. I thought I could but I can't."
Steve pulled her out of the water into his arms and let her sob against him.
"All I want is for him to hold me again, this me," Ellie sobbed holding onto his soaked shirt.
*~*~* February 9, 2019- Irvington, New York *~*~*
Ellie was sound asleep in her bed when she felt a tiny hand on her face. Frowning, she opened her eyes to be eye to eye with Grant.
"Grant? What are you doing in here?" Ellie asked as she looked at her alarm clock to see it was 4 am.
"Hi Hi Mama," Grant said with a toothy grin.
Ellie sat up and pulled him up onto her lap, "Did Uncle Steve bring you in here?"
Grant giggled, "Eeb"
Ellie put him on her hip then walked down the hallway to Nat and Steve's 'apartment'. Slowly opening the door, she looked in expecting to find Steve up in the sitting area. Frowning when he wasn't there, she snuck into the bedroom and glanced in. Smiling at the sight of Steve curled up around Natasha like a koala bear, she frowned when she realized that Steve hadn't gotten Grant out of his crib.
She quietly left the bedroom and went back to his room. Looking around the room she saw no signs of how he had gotten out.
"What's wrong?"
Ellie jumped, "Shit Steve, I thought you were asleep?" She said as she grabbed her chest and turned to him.
"I was, but I heard the door shut to our room," Steve said as he looked at Grant, "Everything alright?"
"Grant woke me up, and by woke me up I mean came in and touched my face," Ellie told him.
Steve frowned, "How'd he get out of his crib?"
"I thought you got him out, but obviously you didn't," Ellie told him as she realized, "FRIDAY, how did Grant get out of his crib?"
"Miss Ellie, Mr. Grant climbed out of his crib. He used his daddy pillow as a step, climbed up and over the rail then reminded me of Mr. Parker as he climbed down the outside. The bedroom door was slightly open so he was able to pull it open. He walked to your bedroom Miss Ellie and I opened the door so that he would be safe."
"Aww shit," Ellie groaned, "You are too young for this, Grant."
"Mama ed?" Grant asked with a little head tilt.
"Fine, let's go back to bed until your sisters wake up. Sorry to wake you, Steve," Ellie told him.
Steve smiled, "It's okay. Goodnight Grant."
"Bye-bye Eeb!" Grant said with a toothy grin as Ellie carried him out of his room.
"You Mister are going to make Mommy go gray," Ellie said as she carried him into her room and took him into the wardrobe, grabbing the bed rail that she thought that she would not need for at least a few more months.
She sat him on the bed and slid it under the mattress, "Alright little man, time for a little more rest. Momma needs all that she can get. Today isn't going to be fun."
Ellie climbed back into bed on her side then pulled the covers up over Grant's body. She smiled as he looked over at her with a toothy grin hugging her life-sized Bucky pillow.
"Dada," Grant said.
Ellie squeezed the hand and Bucky's voice spoke from the speaker inside, "Hi Angel, I love you. Goodnight my love."
Grant snuggled up to it closing his eyes.
Ellie felt her heart warm up as she watched his little body relax as Grant fell asleep holding onto the life-sized Bucky pillow.
With a sigh, Ellie closed her eyes and fell asleep.
*~*~* February 9, 2019- White Plains, New York *~*~*
Ellie stared up at the building in front of her as she gnawed on her lip to the point that it had started to bleed. She had been standing here for the last ten minutes trying to obtain the courage to go inside the building.
"Here for the grief counseling group?"
Ellie looked at the young woman next to her, "Yeah."
"The first day is the hardest," She told her, "I'm Beth."
"Hi," Ellie said, "I'm Ellie."
"I lost my husband of ten years. We've all lost someone, we are all here for you when you are ready," Beth told her with a smile as she went inside the building.
For five additional minutes, Ellie tried to calm her blossoming panic attack as she stepped into the building. She followed the signs and stood outside of the room where the meeting had already started.
The lady that she had met at the entrance looked up and saw her, "Excuse me," She said as she got up and walked over, "Hi Ellie, come on in. You don't even have to talk unless you want to."
"Thanks," Ellie said quietly as she followed her to an empty chair next to her.
"Hello I am Samantha, if you want to talk just raise your hand and we will go to you next," The woman leading the group told Ellie.
Ellie nodded as she put her purse on her lap and played with her Kimoyo beads.
Ellie listened as men and women told about their lives before the 'snap' and their lives after. The triumphs and the lows. Each person made Ellie realize that she wasn't truly alone.
"Hi I am Robyn, and I lost my husband," The woman next to her said.
"Hi Robyn," Everyone said.
"So it has nearly been a year now, but it feels like he has been gone for a lifetime. Last night, for the first time, our daughter didn't ask if Daddy was going to be home in the morning," Robyn told the group, "It killed me. I guess she finally understands that he is gone, that he is never coming back."
Ellie looked down at her hands as she swallowed hard.
"I am just waiting for that moment that it is easier to breathe you know?" Robyn said.
There was silence for a few minutes.
"For that moment you feel like you aren't underwater?" Ellie said quietly.
Robyn looked over at her, "Exactly, I'm treading the waters trying to find the surface but the surface is out of my reach."
Ellie nodded
The leader of the group, Ashley looked at her, "Do you feel comfortable speaking? If you don't that is fine."
Ellie sighed, "Hi everyone I am Ellie."
"Hi Ellie," Everyone said.
Ellie bit her lip as she put her hand on her face and scratched her head, "I was married to my husband for… basically four years, our anniversary would have been on May 25th, we had just had a son in November. I found out only weeks later that I was pregnant again, this time twins."
Ellie looked at the ground, "Does it make me a bad person that… if my son wouldn't have made it, I don't think I would be here right now?"
"No," Ashley told her, "But you are here and that is what matters. Did you have the twins?"
Ellie nodded, "I couldn't not have them. They were two more pieces of my husband left on this world."
"Do you have support?" Ashley asked.
"I… when I found out that I was pregnant, I was… so overwhelmed. I could have been with my husband when it happened but… he and my brother wanted me to stay home. So they were overseas. I know it was to protect me, I get that but it still killed me that I wasn't with him in the end. He wasn't the only one that we lost either," Ellie sighed, "My mother in law lost all three of her children, I lost my friends. I was just so overwhelmed and… feeling as if I was missing half of myself that I took off. People travel pregnant all the time and I was pissed at my brother. I couldn't be pissed at my husband… he was gone. So I threw my phone in the Hudson and left. Made sure that I was untraceable. My husband and I were in the middle of a road trip when my brother called him saying that he needed help. So my mind went to the fact that I was going to be a single mother of two… at the time… and I wanted to finish that road trip for him."
"Did you?" Robyn asked.
Ellie scoffed, "Not exactly, I got to Wisconsin and my brother, who is...in a line of work that gives him... little extra liberty, tracked me down. So I took off overseas. My husband and I were planning to backpack across Europe when our son was older so I continued that part…. Not backpacking now though because I was pregnant with twins and had a kid under 1. I hit all the highlights and made it back to the West Coast… made it to Montana and passed out at a Zoo."
"Why hadn't you come home sooner? Or told your brother at least?" Another woman asked.
"In my mind, losing everyone wasn't real if I wasn't there to miss them. If I was traveling, I could fool my brain that they were… back home waiting for me," Ellie told them, "But when I collapsed, they brought me home. Thank God because I couldn't raise three kids on my own. My brother has been amazing. He was upset with me but immediately forgot and took care of me and my son. We are a great team now that my girls are here. Of course, I am too busy now to breathe or think."
Ellie chuckled, "My son climbed out of his crib for the first time too… ended up in bed with me. I just laid there staring at him after he fell asleep. I never realized how much he looked like his Daddy until then."
"We have to take the good times and try to remember them more than the bad times, the loss that we feel. Remember it is okay to talk to our loved ones about it because they are feeling the loss too," Ashley told them all, "It's okay to feel sad but we are all still here. We are here for a reason and we just… have to wait until we realize it."
*~*~* February 9, 2019- Irvington, New York *~*~*
Ellie pulled into the garage after returning home from the group meeting. Turning the car off, she sat for a minute in the silence. Light invaded the dark garage making her squint to see Steve's shadow blocking the doorway.
With a yawn, she opened her door and he met her at it, "Hey Stevie."
"How'd it go?" Steve asked holding her door open.
Ellie shrugged grabbing her purse, "I talked, I wasn't planning on it but I did."
"You alright?" Steve asked.
Ellie thought about it as she shut the door and locked the car behind her, "I… I don't know if I'll ever be all right again but… I… I feel a little at peace I guess. I have been stuck in this pity party since I felt him go. First when they all left and then again after the girls were born," Ellie told him, "But I'm lucky. I have Grant, Kasie, and Beckie… you and Nat… I don't know what I'd do without you two."
Steve pulled her into his arms, "If you need me. I'm there. I don't care if it's 2 am, okay?" He said as he kissed the top of her head.
"I just… I want to be able to breathe again. One of the ladies there at the group described it and it's so true. It's like I'm underwater right now and I… I can't breathe, there is all this water just crashing over me, Steve. It's not waves of water. Its waves of guilt," Ellie sobbed, "I should have been there. Maybe I could have stopped him, saved Bucky."
Steve took his face in her hands, "And you could have been killed then if we lost anyways Bucky would have been snapped away and Grant would be here all alone. The girls would never have existed. I know what you did on your trip. You donated a lot of your money, you helped so many people, El."
"This sucks, Steve," Ellie told him as he rubbed her back.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you. If I could trade places with Bucky, I would," Steve told her.
"No, I'd be just a mess anyway because you'd be gone then Sarah would be without her father," Ellie told him as she let out a breath, "They are coming back. Four more years and they'll be back. I never visited him after that."
Steve pulled her in closer, "We just have to get through the next four years then."
*~*~* February 12, 2019- White Plains, New York *~*~*
Ellie looked over at Annabelle, who was sitting on the floor with Grant as she read him a book in the doctor's office, "Annabelle, I just want to thank you."
Annabelle looked up at her, "Why?"
Ellie sighed, "I couldn't do it on my own, I mean… I could but it's easier with someone helping. I don't want to bother Steve all the time. So I appreciate your help."
"I'm glad I can help," Annabelle told her with a smile, "I like hanging out with you guys."
Ellie looked up as there was a knock on the door to the patient room at the pediatrician's office.
"Knock, knock… hello Mrs. Barnes," Dr. Golden's colleague, Dr. Dean said as she walked in.
"Hello Dr. Dean," Ellie said as she shut the door behind her then washed her hands.
"How are things going?" Dr. Dean asked drying her hands.
"Good," Ellie said, "Beckie has had a rough couple of weeks sleeping, but oxygen levels are good even if she is cranky."
After a quick exam for both girls, Dr. Dean removed her gloved, "Well both girls are doing well, and I am happy with Beckie's lung sounds. How is she doing at night?"
"Levels have dipped occasionally according to her sock monitor, but never enough to alert me," Ellie told her as Grant squealed and Annabelle pulled him on her lap.
Dr. Dean smiled, "I am glad you have help. Family is so beneficial at times like these."
"I agree. My brother, Steve… I don't know what I would have done without him. Plus this is Annabelle, my neighbor. I keep joking with her that she is my new best friend. She has been a huge help," Ellie told Dr. Dean.
"Well, I think it would be safe to start attempting putting them in their cribs. I am sure you can use the extra sleep," Dr. Dean told her.
Ellie chuckled, "Sleep Doc? What is that? I don't know what that is anymore," Ellie joked, "She is starting to phase out of it but… what is your advice for colic?"
Dr. Dean sat back, "Beckie?"
Ellie nodded.
"A humidifier in the room helps sometimes. Have you tried switching to bottles?" Dr. Dean asked.
Ellie nodded, "She prefers bottles over me anyways," Ellie told her with a sigh.
Dr. Dean looked at her, "Beckie likes her space?"
"Definitely like her Daddy in that way," Ellie told her with a small smile as she looked at Beckie.
*~*~* February 14, 2019- Lake Tupper, New York *~*~*
Ellie pulled up to her cabin in Steve's car and smiled as she saw the walkway was already laid out as chairs were being ushered in to go on either side of the walkway.
A man hurried over to her, "Ma'am, I can take your vehicle to the site where we are parking them."
"Oh, I didn't even think of that. Let me get my dress out of the back and my bag," Ellie said as she grabbed them then handed the man the keys, "Thank you."
"No problem ma'am, Miss Potts is upstairs," He told her.
"Thank you," Ellie said as she opened the door and bit her lip remembering the last time she was here. With a sigh, she went upstairs and heard music coming from her bedroom.
"Knock knock, it's just me," Ellie said as she opened the door.
"Hi Ellie," Pepper said with a nervous smile.
Ellie looked around, "Where is everyone?"
"Nat and Jenny both are coming soon," Pepper told her as she sat on the bed, "I love this house."
Ellie swallowed hard as she looked around, "It was supposed to be for me and Buck but… without him, it just… I'm glad there is happiness here again."
"I'd love to have a house like this," Pepper told her as she got up and gazed out at the dock where they were setting up the altar.
"Then it's yours," Ellie found herself saying.
Pepper looked at her, "What?"
Ellie looked around sadly, "It's not the same without him, Pep. You and Tony take this and make it a family home, spruce it up… it is just going to sit here empty with me."
"Are you sure?" Pepper asked in disbelief.
"Talk to Tony but … think of it as a wedding present from me and Howard, he paid for it for so long," Ellie told her as she sat on the bed, "I love this house but… it would hurt, seeing it sit more than being in it."
Pepper took her hand, "Thank you."
"Only fitting. It was mine, then Peggy's, and now it's yours. This bedroom wasn't touched when Peggy took it over," Ellie said as she looked at it, "Steve made the bed but everything else was how I set it up."
"I think we will use this room for our room and next door can be the nursery," Pepper trailed off.
Ellie looked at her, "Nursery?"
"You know, when that time comes," Pepper told her quickly.
Ellie laughed, "You are a terrible liar Pepper."
Pepper bit her lip, "I'm not even sure Ellie, I only went off my birth control two months ago but my period didn't come last week. Could we have gotten that lucky? With our ages and all?"
Ellie shrugged, "God works in mysterious ways. Give it a week, take a test when you get home from the honeymoon."
Pepper pulled the pillow to her chest, "Could you imagine Tony being a father?"
"I think he'll be better at it than you think. Look how he was with Peter," Ellie told her.
"Hey FRIDAY," Pepper said.
When there was no answer Pepper laughed, "I am so used to AI being everywhere."
"Wait, hold on, don't tell Tony about this," Ellie said as she pulled out her phone, "Hey Google."
Her phone beeped.
"Go ahead and ask it whatever you were going to," Ellie told her.
Pepper laughed, "Hey Google, what is the temperature outside?"
"It is 22* and partly cloudy," Google responded.
"Shit, why did we think this was a good idea to do outside in the winter again?" Pepper asked.
"Reception is at the Avengers facility right?" Ellie asked.
"Yeah, I knew both the wedding and reception would be too much for outside," Pepper told her as she patted her leg, "I'll be right back."
Ellie sat on the bed and looked around the room then up at the mounted deer, "Wish you were here Buck, I hope you are okay with me giving the place to Pepper and Tony."
*~*~* February 14, 2019- Irvington, New York *~*~*
Ellie kicked off her heels as soon as she made it into the house. Riding up to the main floor, she walked into the living room to see Steve with his tie loose sitting nursing a beer, "Already sent Annabelle home?"
"Yep," Steve said as he looked at her, "So Pepper told me that you gave them the cabin?"
Ellie sat down next to him, "It… it's just not the same without him. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be going there until I was there. Pepper said that she and Tony were looking for a place away from the city and they love the cabin. So… it worked." Ellie said as she gnawed at her lip, "You didn't stay long at the reception."
"It… it was just too… weird I guess," Steve told her picking at the label on the beer.
"Did you try talking to him, Steve?" Ellie asked.
Steve scoffed, "Yeah and he practically ran the other way. It has to be him, Ellie. He still has the stick up his ass."
Ellie shook her head, "I don't know what to tell you, Steve. I wish I did."
"Annabelle put Grant to sleep before she left and the girls just had a bottle. I'll put them to bed in a bit, why don't you go visit Buck. It's been a while," Steve told her.
"Really?" Ellie asked perking up.
"Go, you deserve it," Steve told her as he leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you, Steve," Ellie said as she got up.
She took the stairs and ran up to her bedroom. Lying down in her bed on her back, she closed her eyes and thought of right before Christmas. One of the next visits that she knew she had done.
She opened her eyes and shook her head trying to shake away the fuzziness.
"What is it?" Bucky asked across from her.
"I didn't fight it this time," Ellie said as she looked at him with sparkling blue eyes, "Hey baby"
"You didn't knock yourself out, good job," Bucky said as he leaned over and kissed her.
Ellie tried not to moan as she kissed him back then ran her tongue over her lips as she rested her forehead against his, "Well… it's because I am starting to figure out how I feel when… I try to come to visit. I felt it and just let it happen. Mentally… current me is taking a little mental nap" Ellie told him just enjoying the feeling of him so close to her.
"So you are getting a better handle on it," Bucky said as he put his arm around her.
"I just… I very clearly remember today and how happy I was. My emotions help channel it," Ellie told him looking out at the Central Park Gardens, "I have to be relaxed when I come into this body and I wanted to relive this moment and visit you too."
"When are you visiting from?" Bucky asked pulling her close.
"February 2019," Ellie told him as she placed her hand over his heart to feel it beat, "Sarah is one today, and Pepper and Tony got married at our cabin. It was beautiful but… I missed you, so Steve offered to watch the kids, and then I slipped away for a quick visit."
"Tony Stark getting married… who would have thought," Bucky said shaking his head.
"Well I tried to help Pepper a little with her jitters and looks like Tony Stark, a father might be happening sooner than later too," Ellie told him.
"Seriously?" Bucky asked with a laugh, "God if he only knew."
Ellie sighed, "After my… health issue. Pepper was there for me. She and a little Tony got more comfortable with Grant. I think Tony will be a great Dad."
"How is Grant?" Bucky asked rubbing her arm.
"Well, he is 15 months old and is running around. I'm exhausted," Ellie told him with a smile, "Oh and get this… the other day he climbed out of his crib. I'm screwed."
Bucky laughed, "Did he climb or-"
Ellie pulled away from him and pointed her finger at him wide-eyed, "Don't you say it, don't you say it. My baby can't fly. He hasn't shown any signs of my powers," Ellie told him, "Just yours."
"Wait what?" Bucky asked confused.
Ellie smiled, "So you haven't discovered them yet, but the shielding power… was from you. It never went past a mental shield before… it happened but Wanda was working on it."
"If I had a mental shield… I couldn't have," Bucky said confused.
Ellie looked at him, "Why do you think they never could completely remove me from your mind? You protected me from them. It never came into play though other than blocking Shuri's calls when you got mad and blocking Wanda from reading your mind. Turns out she never was able to unless you let her."
Bucky looked up at the sea lions as he heard a splash.
Ellie sighed, "I better go… Steve was invited to the wedding, but he and Tony still… they aren't getting along. Steve is still upset about the whole thing. He was walking around the house like a sad little puppy," Ellie told him as she looked up at him, "I found your note in the house by the way… a few notes."
Bucky looked at her, "I left notes?"
Ellie smiled, "You will… and they help because I never know when I am going to find them," She said with a laugh as she kissed him, "I love you."
"I love you too. Give Grant a kiss for me," Bucky told her.
"I will," Ellie said as she laid her head back on his shoulder.
Ellie opened her eyes and sighed as she got out of bed. Walking into the girls' nursery she saw them asleep in their cribs, "Well I guess we are trying that tonight."
Steve walked into the room behind her, "They doing okay?"
Ellie wrapped her arms around her brother's waist, "It's okay, we are all okay."
Steve laid his head on the top of hers, "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted."
Ellie sighed, "I'm always tired, Steve."
Steve kissed her forehead, "Go to bed. FRIDAY knows the girls are in their room, I made sure that Beckie had her sock on too."
"I guess there is no reason for me NOT to go to bed," Ellie sighed, "Plus tomorrow is Sarah's birthday party."
"Shit El, I have a one-year-old," Steve said in disbelief.
"Just wait until she starts running," Ellie told him with a grin, "Goodnight Steve."
"Goodnight El," Steve said as he kissed the top of her head and they went their separate ways.
Ellie got ready for bed and changed into her pajamas. She pulled her Bucky pillow over to her and squeezed its hand.
"Hi Angel, I love you. Goodnight my love."
She took the recorder with his heartbeat and turned it on as she laid her head on his pillow.
Ellie felt as if she had just drifted off when someone shook her awake.
"Steve?" Ellie asked confused as she saw him in front of her.
Steve was kneeling next to her bed, "I'm sorry to wake you but I have to leave and I want you to know before I do. The Accords were eliminated tonight… last night. The UN disbanded them," Steve told her with a smile.
Ellie sighed as she sat up, "Thank God."
"Nat is staying for right now, but I may need her," Steve told Ellie.
"Go, I've got this," Ellie told him as she saw him suck in a breath and squeeze his fists as he swallowed hard and she frowned, "What's wrong?"
"Sam said those exact words to me once," Steve told her sadly.
"This is for them," Ellie told him with a smile, "When they get back, they won't be on the run anymore."
Steve nodded.
"Plus as far as it comes to here, worst comes to worst I'll call Annabelle," Ellie told him, "Go, do what you have to do to… be free."
"Thank you, Ellie," Steve said as he got up and tucked her in as she laid back down then smiled at the Bucky pillow sticking up out of the covers on Bucky's side of the bed.
"Shut up," Ellie said as she pulled it against her.
"It's cute. I'm glad Buck thought of it," Steve told her, "Get some sleep. If you hear it, a Quinjet is coming to get me."
"Thanks for the warning," Ellie told him as she rolled back over.
Just a couple of hours later, she chuckled as she heard, "Momma?"
Ellie rolled over and pulled him up into bed with her, "Go to sleep Little Man."
Grant settled into the crook of her neck and Ellie smiled as they both fell asleep to the sound of Bucky's heartbeat.
a/n3: 97 more days until FatWs… but who is counting? ;)
To the review: PrettyRecklessLaura- Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Preview of Chapter 101- Lady Day
Ellie snorted as he rubbed her back, then stepped away, "Only the asshole the first day gave me issues. It was like the word spread fast," She told him with a grin, "They think I am an expert hacker."
Steve chuckled, "That's hilarious."
"So yeah, I need Nat to teach me some real skills." Ellie sighed.
Steve pulled her into another hug, "Are you sure you are doing alright?"
